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[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 70 [Kolo]

It was a shock to discover how, after mortal peril, a menial task could feel like such a breath of fresh air.

Of course, Kolo hadn't been thrilled upon hearing their newest directive – everyone had to come down to the neighboring village and engage in some project or another. Qila had said it with such irritating sweetness, Kolo had wanted to smack her. Like a change of scenery alone could make the nightmares disappear? Sounded like bullshit.

Even more irritating, Qila was almost right. Almost.

She and Azvalath had been tasked today with replacing a farmer's rotted-out fence at the village outskirts, and Kolo's focus didn't waver with any of Aza's attempts at empty chatter. It was dull, yes, but it was still someplace to pour out her boiling energy.

"All right, since when are you so diligent?" Azvalath rubbed his forehead. "You know this is just busy work, right?"

"You complaining?" Kolo smacked a loose nail with her fist and a few ghost limbs. Rather than driving through the wood, it bent uselessly.

"I'm surprised by how little you're complaining." Aza reached over and prodded her. "Use a hammer, maybe. The nails will go in straight then."

"I don't need a hammer." Kolo yanked the bent nail out with invisible fingers and flung it aside.

"Hey, someone could get really hurt if they step on that." Azvalath dragged his feet and went to pick the nail up. "And why do you want to do it the hard way, huh?"

"Hm, maybe because the masters said they wanted all hands on board?" Kolo sneered and prodded him with unseen appendages.

Aza snorted. "I think you're misinterpreting."

Kolo grabbed another nail. When she drove it in, it went in straight. No hammer needed. She pointed to it and grinned. "I don't need to cheat, Aza."

"Using tools isn't cheating." Azvalath rolled his eyes. "Don't scoff at everything that makes life easier, all right? You'll just be miserable in the long run."

She shrugged. "Whatever."

They labored on. Azvalath kept trying to talk. Kolo kept only half-responding, if not ignoring him outright. Anything she did say, it was really only to keep him talking. Irritating as he was, his voice was all that stood between her and isolation with her own thoughts.

She didn't entirely register anything they spoke about. At one point he fussed at her about something being misaligned, at another point he pitched a fit over getting a splinter, and she laughed at him. "The mighty Aza, slain by a splinter in the line of duty!" Kolo had quipped over his frantic attempts to save his fingertip. "How tragic."

More pointless bickering. A few more bent nails. The wind picked up and the sky darkened.

At some point, Aza tried to bring up Kolo's condition. "Are you really sure you're doing all right?" His voice cracked slightly. "You know you don't have to lie."

"Aza, I've already told you." She glared at him. "I'm fine. It was bad, yeah, but I'm still here. Can't get rid of me that easily."

His eyes flicked away from her. "Sorry."

"Why?"

He turned back to her. "Why what?"

"Why are you sorry?" Kolo pressed. "You're obviously worrying about me because it's easier than worrying about yourself. Can hardly blame you."

His shoulders tensed. "Kolo, what happened to me wasn't nearly as—"

"Master Xigon said you lost almost a third of your blood." Kolo cut him off. "In what world is that not serious?"

Azvalath pursed his lips and turned away. Kolo could tell she'd struck a nerve.

They carried on in relative silence as the wind gusts grew colder and fiercer. Azvalath ran out of energy first, as he had consistently since the attack, and sank to his knees on the frozen ground. Ordinarily, Kolo would have snapped at him, or perhaps mocked his tiredness, but she didn't have the heart for that now.

Instead, she drove in one last nail and then crouched next to him. "Hey, it's getting really cold. Let's call it a day."

His lips curled in a faint smirk. "Really is easier than worrying about yourself."

"Yeah, jerkface." She yanked his arm. "That's what I said."

"All right, all right," Azvalath chuckled. "Just let me gather up the tools."

She crossed her arms and tapped her foot while he shoved all the various bits and pieces back into his backpack. Once he'd secured it all, she snatched the backpack from him and threw it over her own shoulders.

"Kolo, I can get it," he tried to insist.

She shook her head and trudged on.

The sky darkened to a deep gray that muted all the world's color. Icy wind stung Kolo's cheeks like claws trying to rip all the warmth out of her. The sweat she worked up carrying all their gear felt like a saving grace as the flurries intensified to something more like a blizzard.

By the time they made it back to the farmhouse, she could barely see a foot ahead of her, and Azvalath's shivers were more like convulsions.

Lalek threw the door open right as Kolo reached for the handle, startling all three of them.

"....m'sorry," she rasped. "Thought I'd have to go get you." Then she gave Azvalath a judgmental look. "You made Kolo carry your stuff?"

"Nah, it was my idea. Aza would lose a footrace to a scarecrow if he carried it himself." Kolo dropped the backpack by the door. "How are you doing, Lalek?"

The taller woman shrugged. "What am I supposed to say at this point?" Her voice was still broken and barely audible. "Come on."

Lalek nudged them over to the spare room the farmer and his wife were letting them borrow. Once it had been their children's room, all six of them now either grown up or gone too soon. Lalek held the door open for them, but didn't follow them in.

"You joining us?" Kolo asked.

Lalek shook her head. "Ami wants to see me."

Kolo noticed the slight glistening of tears in Lalek's eyes, the slight tremble in what remained of her voice, and her chest tightened. "All right. See you later, then."

She nodded and retreated, closing the door quietly.

"Master Qila still isn't back?" Azvalath asked.

"She stopped by for a bit and then left again. I think she said she was going to visit Sothyrion," Channei piped up. "And Master Xigon's off with Dakko, so we should have a nice lecture-free afternoon." Then she looked at Kolo and lit up. "Kolo! Hi!"

Kolo darted over to the bunk where Channei sat and grabbed her up in a hug. "How's my favorite shapeshifter?"

"I'm the only shapeshifter." Channei half-groaned and half-giggled.

"Good thing you're my favorite, then." Kolo leaned her head on Channei's shoulder. "It'd be a shame if you weren't, hm?"

Rizval cleared their throat. "Really?"

"Hmm?" Ido looked up from his sketchbook. He lay on his stomach on the floor next to Rizval, scribbling what looked like nonsense patterns in charcoal. "Oh, hey, they're back."

"We sure are." Azvalath went to crouch next to Ido. "What are you drawing?"

As he and Ido chattered over the artwork, Kolo turned her attention back to Channei. "You're not still brooding, are you?"

Channei raised an eyebrow. "Me?"

"Yeah." Kolo reached up and ruffled Channei's hair. "Acting all gloomy. You know Lalek's not a good liar. It'd be more obvious if she were mad at you."

"I'm still worried, damn it." Channei grabbed the back of Kolo's hand. "She deserves this the least out of all of us."

Kolo looked up. "Hm?"

"Don't take it the wrong way." Channei fidgeted idly with Kolo's fingers. "It's just...Lalek's the least ruined out of us veterans."

"Hundred percent, fuzzball." Rizval stood up and stretched their arms. They were finally rid of the sling, but one arm was visibly stiffer than the other. "I'm bored. See you all later."

Channei's head followed Rizval as they disappeared from the room, and she gave a tiny smirk. "Guess we're not interesting enough."

"I feel like I can count the number of actual conversations I've ever had with Rizval on one hand," Kolo admitted.

"You and all the rest of us. Don't sweat it," Channei sighed. "They were never really the same after their old comrades all died."

Kolo looked down, regretting having spoken all of a sudden.

Channei gave her a pat on the back. "Did you and Aza make good progress?"

"Yeah." Kolo shrugged. "What've you been up to?"

"More stupid community service." Channei stuck her tongue out. "Like we don't have anything better to do than all these little errands. What are we, worker ants?"

"Imagine a person-sized ant," Ido interjected.

"No thanks." Channei shook her head. "That's just horrific."

"Says the girl who ate a dead rat like it was good bread," Azvalath sneered.

Her jaw fell open and she stared at Kolo with mock indignation. "Kolo, the boys are bullying me."

Kolo gave a tired chuckle. "Yeah, but did you really do that?"

"So what if I did?" Channei shrugged. Then she let out a heavy sigh. "Thank goodness. Feels like I'm actually talking to Kolo and Azvalath."

Kolo blinked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hm. I guess I'm just relieved that...well, you don't seem too damaged after all that mess." Channei leaned back and stretched her arms out.

Kolo bit her lip. Why did everyone seem to expect her to be damaged? It almost seemed like everyone was more concerned about her being fine than they would've been about her dying a gruesome death in front of them. It made her skin crawl. "Yeah, I guess." Her shoulders twitched. "I'm thirsty. Be right back."

She wasn't actually thirsty, nor did she intend to be right back, but it was enough of an excuse to detach herself from Channei and to leave the increasingly suffocating little bunkroom.

She made her way back to the house's main room and found Ami sitting at the table next to Lalek, poking at what looked like a jar of frothy off-white glop. Kolo stared at them for a moment, and when they failed to notice her, she cleared her throat as loudly as possible.

Ami looked up and waved. "Kolo! Good to see you. Ever gotten to know Lalek's sourdough starter?"

Lalek let out a hoarse chuckle, then looked up at Kolo and mouthed a plea for rescue.

"Hey, Ami." Kolo shifted her feet. "Can we talk?"

"We're talkin' right now, aren't we?" Ami rocked in her chair. "Oh, you mean just us. Go ahead and say so, then."

She got up, shoved the chair back in, then followed Kolo around the corner and out of earshot, into a dusty little room full of old fabrics. Ami fixated on a stack of moth-eaten sheets and shivered.

Kolo shook her head. "Don't tell me you're scared of old bedsheets."

"Oh, not at all." Ami turned her back to them. "Just...not a nice memory. What'd you need, Kolo?"

Kolo tried to ignore the blatant shuddering in Ami's knees and shoulders. "I know everyone is worried about me. You especially. And I'm confused."

Ami hummed. "What part's confusing?"

"Well..." Kolo glanced sideways and scratched the back of her neck. "Kind of hoped you could tell me. It was me taking Rager that had everyone in a panic, right?" Her fingers clenched. "Maybe you could explain it better. Why's it so unusual that I seem all right?"

"Ah." Ami's stance relaxed and her voice slipped back into a patronizing tone. "The way I designed it, Rager magnifies a Ferash Therall's own inherent power against them. Think of it like a second ascension gone wrong. Your fire blazes up and out of the pit and torches your whole woods down. And even if you put the flames out, you're left with scorched earth."

Kolo pursed her lips.

"A small dose was enough to put your master in torpor." Ami twiddled her thumbs. "And you, dear, took a dose bigger than I used on Haode way back then. Yet you look so well it's frankly scaring me."

The corners of her mouth twitched. "What should I look like, hm?"

"Most anyone else would be dead, and if they're lucky in some twisted sense they'd be suffering every second they still kicked." Ami stepped closer and made unsettling eye contact. "So be honest with me, Kolo. When you took that shot, how did it feel?"

"You really want to know?" Kolo took a step sideways, but held Ami's gaze. "Might not like my answer."

Ami's shoulders tensed. "Try me."

Kolo's lips curled. "I loved every second of it."

Ami's eyes widened. Her jaw fell open.

"I've never felt stronger," she continued. "It was the very peak of all my existence up to that point. So...thank you, Ami."

Ami looked vacant for a second. Then she rubbed her eyes and blinked, as if waking from a nightmare. "No, I oughta' be thanking you. You saved me and everyone else."

Kolo cocked her head.

"You've proven quite vital, dear." Ami gave Kolo a rough pat on the back. "So as much out of selfishness as worry, I'm warning you — don't warm yourself up in a wildfire."

Yet more contradicting advice from a hypocrite's mouth.

A sharp tingling gripped her upper spine like freezing-cold fingers. Kolo turned and glimpsed Xigon as he walked away.

Of course he knew. 

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 69 [Qila]

Their world's oldest tree had stood for countless lifetimes. Its thick gnarled roots had drunk the blood of so many hopeful warriors. Its colossal branches had spread like a gravebird's wings over their fragile little bodies as they tried to reach their god a second time.

    Qila remembered how she and Vraelen had sown its seed and then blessed its first tender needles as they forced up through soft and fertile soil.

    She leaned against the trunk and wondered if the tree ached as much as she did. She wondered if it remembered warmth.

    There was a muffled thud into the snow and needles, and the old woman looked toward the noise. Ami flopped over and rolled like a naughty cat before springing upon a pinecone as it dropped to the ground. She snatched it up in filthy fingers and then cradled it like the most precious treasure.

    "I planted this tree," Qila told her. "Me and Vraelen."

    "Yeah, I know." Ami sniffed the cone and then set it down gently. "Well, I don't know, but it tracks, 'cause the tree smells kinda like Sothyrion and it sure does pre-date the loss of the Iron God, though...how long ago was that, now? Hm?"

    Qila's shoulders lifted in a shrug before she even realized it.

    "Figured." Ami tapped her fingers on a knobby root. "Think I was born a little after that time, because I kinda' remember everything freezing up."

    The master raised a patchy eyebrow. "You do?"

    "Mm-hm." Ami played idly with a cluster of fallen needles. "And it's so odd that anything at all survived. But the plants, the mosses, the fungi and the little monsters you can't even see crawlin' in and out of everything, they didn't all die, some of 'em changed. When their machinery got all brittle in the cold and smashed to little bits, they built new machinery and they whispered to each other how to keep on growing..."

    Qila tuned out as Ami spiraled into one of her wild rambles. Ami had insisted upon seeing this tree, upon sniffing the ground where most second ascension blood fell. Now, Qila was quickly starting to regret honoring the request. When she couldn't take it anymore, she cleared her throat loud enough to make Ami stop.

    "Sorry." Ami's voice shrank down to a squeak. "It's just...remarkable, yeah? How even without Vraelen, it somehow doesn't all vanish in a blink."

    "No, of course it doesn't." Qila came over and sat down across from Ami. "He wanted life to last, so it does. Just as we tend to kick and scream long after we're injured beyond mending. We fight until we can't. It's how we were made."

    Ami sank down onto her side and traced one finger along a thick tendril of root. "From above and below, this tree's beyond tired and put out, but it still can't fall down no matter how bad it wants to." She tapped her knuckles on a bulge. "I think you're the same way."

    Qila scowled.

    "Meaning no offense, of course." The poisoner's lips curled in a subtle smirk. "I just think you've gotta have a better reason to live than to spite the dirt you're standing on."

    The old woman scoffed. "You think that's why I keep going, hm?"

    "Maybe, maybe not." Ami rolled onto her stomach and looked up to make eye contact. "How would anyone know? You hardly ever spend time with your litter unless it's to correct 'em."

    Qila's mouth hung slightly open at that remark.

    "You know that's why they tend to prefer Master Xigon, right?" Ami's tone was far too relaxed for such caustic words. "And I don't think that's changing anytime soon, so I think it'd be in your best interest to quit torturing him before your underlings find out."

    "Torturing him?" Qila rose to her feet and clenched her bony hands into tight fists. "Ami, you don't know what you're talking about."

    "We both know gods-damn well what I'm talking about." Ami sat up in a cross-legged position, still far too at ease. "That's why I figured I'd be courteous and have this little chat alone, keep it between us two." She gave a sweetly poisonous smile. "Maybe start with explaining why you cut his face?"

    "Whatever happens between him and me is none of your fucking business." The old woman's voice carried a slight tremor.

    "Well, if you're not careful, it could end up being everyone's fucking business." Ami mocked her tone. "So I'm making you an offer right now. You keep your hands and your weapons off him, and in exchange, your little ones won't hear about any of it from me. How's that sound?"

Seething, Qila crouched back down to Ami's level.     "Ami, I hope you understand the danger you're putting yourself in." Unbidden, she remembered his fingers crushing her windpipe back then, the day they'd finally broken each other. It made her eyes sting.

Ami hummed. "I'm well aware." Her head tilted like a curious dog. "Now, before you boil over, I've got a recommendation. Well, two of 'em, actually."

The old woman squinted.

"A mind's as vital a structure as a heart or a stomach, so don't let it stay sick." Ami tapped her temple. "And on that note, all your subjects are doing piss-poorly, so you should really get them out for fresh air."

In spite of her stress, Qila chuckled. "You're right. Let's get them out for some change of pace." She ran a hand through her gray hair. "It'll be good for all of us, I'm sure."

[lshark-cs]

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[lshark-cs]

first base is ripping each other's throats out second base is fucking and then pretending it didn't happen after it's over. third base is falling unconscious from blood loss in the other's arms

[lshark-cs]

Weirdly Healing Things to Do When You’re Feeling Creatively Burned Out...

Write a fake 5-star Goodreads review of your WIP—as if you didn’t write it. Go ahead. Pretend you're a giddy reader who just discovered this masterpiece. Bonus: add emojis, chaotic metaphors, and all-caps screaming. It’s self-indulgent. It’s delusional. It’s delicious.

Give your main character a Pinterest board titled “Mentally Unstable but Aesthetic.” Include outfits, quotes, memes, cursed objects, and that one painting that haunts their dreams. This is not about logic. This is about ✨vibes.✨

Make a “deleted scenes” folder and write something that would never make it into the book. A crackfic. A “what if they were roommates” AU. The group chat from hell. This is your WIP’s blooper reel. Let it be silly, chaotic, or wildly off-brand.

Interview your villain like you’re Oprah. Ask the hard-hitting questions. “When did you know you were the drama?” “Do you regret the murder, or just the way you did it?” Bonus points if they lie to your face.

Host a fake awards show for your characters. Categories like “Most Likely to Die for Vibes,” “Worst Emotional Regulation,” “Himbo Energy Supreme,” or “Best Use of a Dramatic Exit.” Write their acceptance speeches. Yes, this counts as writing.

Write a breakup letter… to your inner critic. Be petty. Be dramatic. “Dear Self-Doubt, this isn’t working for me anymore. You bring nothing to the table but anxiety and bad vibes.” Rip it up. Burn it. Tape it to your mirror. Your call.

Create a “writing comfort kit” like you’re a cozy witch. A candle that smells like your WIP. A tea that your characters would drink. A playlist labeled “for writing when I’m one rejection email away from giving up.” This is a ritual now.

Design a fake movie poster or book cover like your story is already famous. Add star ratings, critic quotes, and some pretentious tagline like “One soul. One destiny. No chill.”

Write a scene you’re not ready to write—but just a rough, messy outline version. Not the polished thing. Just the raw emotion. The shape of it. Like sketching the bones of a future punch to the gut. You don’t have to make it perfect. Just open the door.

Let your story be bad on purpose for a day. Like, aggressively bad. Give everyone ridiculous names. Add an evil talking cat. Write a fight scene with laser swords and emotional damage. Just remind yourself that stories are meant to be played with, not feared.

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 68 [Ami]

In the weeks following her second ascension, Ami drowned in life. It was no small thing to feel again after so many years sapped dry by Valielit. She still felt as if she hardly had time or energy to process any of it, not with nearly everyone needing her help.

She let herself into the girls’ room and found them just as unnaturally silent as they’d been since the attack. Kolo sat up on her bed, white hair unkempt and blanket hanging loosely around her shoulders. She acknowledged Ami with only a brief glance. Lalek was asleep, shivering despite her blanket and the rooms’ warmth.

After a moment, Channei turned the desk chair to face Ami. “Hey. I got Kolo to eat earlier but Lalek still won’t.”

Ami nodded. “And yourself?”

“I’m fine,” Channei insisted.

“Mm-hm.” Ami cast a long, deliberate look at the bowl of untouched stew on the desk. “Well, Azvalath and I worked hard on that, so eat up.”

That caught Kolo’s attention. “How is Aza?”

“A little outta’ sorts, but who isn’t right now?” Ami went over and sat at the end of Kolo’s bed. “How about you? How’re you feeling today?”

Kolo stretched her arms out. “I feel like there are a million stinging little bugs under my skin.”

Ami took out her notebook and scribbled that down. “Any new pain?”

She shook her head.

“And mentally?” Ami asked.

Kolo raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”

Ami leaned closer and softened her tone. “Are you sure you’re feeling all right?”

Kolo backed up. “Why do you keep asking me that?”

“Well, considering what happened…” Ami pursed her lips. “It would be a first.”

Kolo turned away from her, shoulders tensed. She’d insisted day after day that she didn’t feel much different from before, and indeed, there was no physical sign to indicate otherwise. But Ami couldn’t fully believe that, not with what she’d already seen time and time again.

Monitor closely. She underlined those two words and moved on to Lalek.

Lalek’s eyes cracked open as Ami approached. She was shivering and sweating through her blanket, and her skin was deathly pale.

“Hey.” Ami pulled the blanket back. “Heard you didn’t eat. Is it still hard to swallow?”

“Yeah.” Lalek’s voice came out a thin croak. Her hand drifted up to claw at her bandaged neck.

Ami grabbed her wrist. “Don’t mess with it, dear.”

Lalek wiped her mouth with her other hand. “Sorry.”

“Hey, I just don’t want you tearing your stitches.” Ami dropped her tote next to Lalek’s bed. “I’ll check ‘em while I change your bandages, all right?”

“Yeah.” Lalek’s voice was still weak and breathy. She winced as Ami started to unwrap the bandages, but made a clear effort to stay as still as she could.

The sound of Channei sobbing made them both pause.

Ami tried to focus only on the task at hand, but it soon became impossible, and she snapped. “Channei, that’s enough.”

“I’m still not mad at you,” Lalek added, with all the volume she could muster. “Please believe me.”

Ami shuddered as she exposed the wound. Channei’s jaws with some animal’s teeth had ripped Lalek’s throat open, only sparing her life by sheer dumb luck or maybe some tiny fragment of Channei’s mind that had resisted Valielit. The stitches still held, but the skin around them was so red and angry it still looked like an open wound.

“How bad is it?” Lalek choked out.

Ami pursed her lips. “Hard to know right now.” It was a lie, of course. Lalek would be lucky to survive with permanent damage. But she couldn’t say that out loud, not now.

“Lalek’s never going to get better and it’ll have been my fault, right?” Channei snarled from across the room. “Right, Ami?”

Ami ignored her and rebandaged the wound. Lalek once again tried her best to stay still, but her face bore a clear grimace. She could understand Channei’s upset, but it wouldn’t help anything. She’d have to ignore it.

“Channei, you know that isn’t true.” Kolo stood up. “It wasn’t you, not really.”

“But that monster, she used me!” Channei slammed her fist into the desk. “She made me do things I would never do. She made me helpless. It was…”

“It was the most intimate and personal violation you’ve ever known.” Ami made eye contact with Channei and stated bluntly what they both knew. “I get it.”

Everyone’s eyes were on her, then.

“I put up with it for all that time first because I thought I could help her.” Ami shook her head. “By the time I realized there wasn’t even a person under that cute facade, I still figured it was better if it were me getting whittled down instead of someone else.”

Kolo grumbled. “Fuck that.”

Ami jolted. “What?”

“Fuck that!” Kolo threw her blanket off. “Did it save anyone at the end of the day?”

“You’re all still alive.” Ami’s brow tensed in a scowl. “Which is a shock, but I’ll take it.” She gathered up the old bandages and sniffed them. The smells of blood, sweat, fear, and an unwelcome growth tangled together in her nostrils. “Hmm, have you ever considered what horrid havoc some living things can unleash without you even knowing their existence?”

The question seemed to catch Kolo by enough surprise that her tone softened. “Huh?”

“Kolo, if you want everyone to stay alive, you’ve gotta focus your nerves where it matters.” She gave Lalek’s arm a pat and leaned in to whisper. “You know what I think?”

Lalek cracked one eye back open.

Ami dropped her voice even quieter. “I think your roommates have even worse manners than me.”

That elicited a wheezing giggle.

“I’ll be back this evening. I’ve got three instructions for you ‘til then.” Ami spoke a little louder so everyone could hear. “First, let me know immediately if there’s a new problem.”

Lalek nodded. Channei gave a thumbs-up. Kolo rolled her eyes.

“Second, Lalek, I know it hurts to swallow, but I need you to try your best to eat and drink on your own.” She sighed. “I don’t want to have to force you.”

“Yeah,” Lalek choked out. Her eyelids fluttered.

“Last, and critically,” Ami stood up and addressed all of them. “If I come back to find this room on fire, I’m roasting you over it for supper.”

The girls’ tension snapped like a rope pulled too taut. All three of them burst out in wild laughter. Ami caught herself chuckling too, in a way that felt warmer than anything had in ages. With that, she gathered up her things and left.

Once outside the room, she took another whiff of Lalek’s discarded bandages. When the unwelcome growth whispered back, her heart beat faster. She gleaned its taste for decay and its dislike of sharing. Another sniff and she knew its urge to spread, to conquer, and its fear of mold.

The last bit took her by surprise to hear again. Since her second ascension, she’d learned it from many an imperceptibly tiny thing, that a simple food-spoiling mold was to them what Kaosaan was to the minds of Ferash Therall.

Ami carried on with a slight bounce in her step, and she couldn’t resist asking what this pest knew of Kaosaan.

When she didn’t get any satisfying answer, her eyebrows furrowed. When it returned the question, she withheld all she knew and willed herself to focus. Find the invader’s enemy and snatch up its weapons to save Lalek. That was all that mattered.

Her eyes watered again. Irritated, she wiped them dry.

“Since when were you the one in control?”

At first, she thought the voice was in her head. Maybe some lingering nightmare of her treasured, hated Magpie. But when the voice carried on, she stopped near Xigon’s closed door to eavesdrop.

“Don’t forget where we came from, child.” The old woman’s voice dripped with vitriol. “I’ve treated you as my equal, but I don’t need to keep doing that if you don’t keep our promises.”

Ami backed into the wall. She’d never heard such chilling cruelty in anyone’s words, much less Qila’s.

“Do you understand, Xigon?”

Silence.

“Good.”

Ami tiptoed back a ways and timed her steps carefully, to make it look like she was just arriving as Qila stepped out of Xigon’s study. She reflected the old woman’s warm smile back at her. “Master Qila, hello.”

“Hello, Ami.” Qila waved. “You’re looking well. I’m glad to see it.”

“Me too.” Ami chuckled. “Ah, don’t let me keep you. You must be busy.”

Much to Ami’s relief, Qila nodded and left.

Ami clutched her stomach as it lurched with dread.

She tried again to focus her thoughts only on what mattered, but she rapidly found more than one thing mattered. And before she could protest, she caught herself shoving her way into Xigon’s study.

He sat at his desk, still and quiet, only a slight stiffness in his shoulders betraying any sensation. His eyes darted toward her, then back down.

“I have an idea for how to proceed with Lalek’s treatment,” she told him. “Kolo appears largely unaffected still.”

There was a slight twitch in his fingers. “You’re certain of that?”

“As far as I’ve observed.” Ami let out a sigh. “Master, what just happened?”

He straightened and turned to face her. Then she saw the thin red cut splitting his right eyebrow.

Ami took a deep breath. “Did Qila do that?”

Xigon’s expression stayed flat.

“Well, anyway, I…” Ami scratched her cheek. “Sorry. I don’t understand how it doesn’t hurt you at all.”

He blinked. “It does hurt.”

That rare candid admission was such a sharp blow that Ami’s eyes watered again.

Xigon leaned his elbows into his knees. “Don’t cry for me, Ami.”

“I’ve been bound up long enough, Master.” Ami wiped her eyes, seething. “I’ll cry if I damn well feel like it.”

She drowned in the flood of feeling until he wrapped his arms around her. It was a shock, how different his embrace was from Magpie’s. Not controlling her thoughts, only giving her refuge.

After a moment, he released her. “Your report on Lalek, please.”

The flatness of his tone made her erupt laughing even faster than she’d been moved to tears before. The growing pains of an untethered mind, how odd. “I’m concerned that she still has so much trouble swallowing.”

Xigon’s hand drifted up toward his own neck and he grimaced slightly, as if he were imagining himself in Lalek’s place. “Let me know next time you’re going to see her. I’ll come with you.”

Ami nodded. “You know her better, anyway.” She looked at Xigon’s cluttered desk. “You’re still reading that same old scrap-stack?”

With a slight spark in his eyes, he pulled the book closer to him. “Not quite the same, no.” He opened it and turned to the text’s last pages. “Can you read this, Ami?”

Ami squinted down at the page. Though she recognized the markings on the parchment as writing, it wasn’t in any language or structure she recognized. “Nope, can’t read a word.”

“That’s quite interesting.” He underlined a passage with his finger. “Because until very recently, I couldn’t read it either.”

Ami cocked her head. “Well, you mind reading me the first page, at least?

His fingers trembled over the page just long enough for Ami to notice, then he spoke in a tremulous voice. “Beneath, I saw. Beyond, within, with all wisdom and without reason. What the ghost-pipe whispers to the greenery withering above — receive these blessings, small one, and Her way is yours.”

Xigon locked eyes with her, then, and his gaze chilled her every nerve. “The first Sacrament She bestows is of the Sight. The hunters need no longer stalk nor lure, for their Sight draws them now from the deepest recesses,” he recited, clearly from memory. “Dread and death imminent shall compel the blessed, to dream only of the coming feast.”

Ami’s jaw clenched.

“It’s an odd thing to call the likes of us, is it not?” Xigon leaned back. “Blessed.”

Blessed.

Like it was some kind of gift.

“This was what Kiiri spent her last days writing. But it wasn’t a story of something old or something she made up.” He turned to the very last page, to an image of Kaosaan’s ravenous maw.

“This must be how she imagined everything comes undone.”

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 67 [Xigon]

Frenzied with the draw of an imperiled soul – of prey, he now knew –  Xigon had no more concern for himself. Even as his hands shook and his heart raced, he kept his focus. His body’s panic was a mere reflex, nothing worth holding him back. 

Then Kolo wrested the Rager dart from his fingers and jabbed it into her own neck.

It was as if the ground fell out from under him. Xigon threw himself down to Kolo’s side and tried to grab the dart back, but the damage was already done. No. No. This couldn’t be happening. Cold sweat washed over him. This couldn’t be happening. 

It should have been him. Xigon was used to the worst. He could handle it, very well deserved it even. Kolo, however, there was no reason she should have —

No. Kolo was doing exactly what he would have done.

Nothing like a mirror to show something’s truly hideous, Qila used to say. 

He hunched forward, feeling heavy all of a sudden. The draw of prey tightened, Kaosaan’s breaths as hot and frantic as his own. He tensed every muscle and refused to move, refused to look away from Kolo as she finished what he had started.

Kolo’s fingers glowed fiercely white as she wrapped them around what remained of Valielit’s jaw, tipping the monster’s head up to meet her eyes. The girl’s expression wasn’t one of rage or passion, but of stone-cold focus. 

The creature tried to squirm away, but she held it firm and stared straight into its remaining eye. White flames and black ink curled around its mangled limbs. And it screamed.

In all his battles, had he ever heard a scream like that? 

The worst part was, when the abomination ceased to exist, the cry didn’t fall silent. It became Kolo’s. 

The blaze and the dark tendrils vanished with all traces of Valielit. Eternity burned up in barely a blink, without even a split second’s quiet.

Kolo crumpled to the floor, weeping bloody tears as she clawed at her own fiery eyes. She took a huge gasping breath and hazarded a look at Xigon.

“I want to go home!” Her voice came out warped, sounding half like her own and half like Vraelen’s. “Please, please…”

Xigon blinked away tears of his own. “You are home.” 

Empty words. He knew these halls could never feel safe again for anyone. Just as Qila’s embrace could never soothe him again. 

“I don’t want to die.” Kolo backed away from him. “Please, I can’t…I can’t…!”

Her words shocked him, a cruel echo. They shared this curse now. He kept his eyes on her even though it felt like staring at the sun. He felt he had no right to look away. 

Her pupils dilated and her whole body shuddered as he retrieved his crutches. Straining, he stood up. She flinched back and threw her fists up. “Stop!”

“Kolo.” He looked down at her small, trembling form. “Why?”

“Why what?” Her voice distorted more as she snarled at him. 

“I was going to take it!” He snapped, startled at his own emotion. “If you’d let me, I would have—”

“ —not stopped with Valielit.” Kolo cut him off. She took a huge strangled breath and half-laughed, half-sobbed. “And you’re gonna lose me now too, aren’t you? How does that feel?” 

As she spoke, his pulse quickened with the draw of looming death. Xigon swallowed hard, nausea dredging a pit in his stomach. “Kolo, the Rager.” He scorned the tremor in his own voice. “You have to destroy it.”

“Why should I?” Kolo backed into a corner and sat down. Her heat was still white-hot, but flickering now. “Maybe I want to disappear.”

Xigon came to her side and crouched down to her level. “If that’s true, why are you afraid?” 

“You should know.” Her head snapped toward him, and for a moment he felt he wasn’t being judged by Kolo alone. “Because you’re here.”

“Kolo, listen to me.” He softened his tone back into the illusion of calm. “I won’t tell you you’re wrong to feel whatever you do, but I’ll urge you not to repeat my failures.”

Her eyes glazed a little. He caught the back of her head as it lolled back, jarring her back toward consciousness. She gasped.

“And I’ll urge you not to let me remain the one in control,” he pressed. 

Kolo’s chin sank toward her chest, each breath she took a clear struggle. “What?”

There. He’d found the key. 

“There may come a day when I can’t block Kaosaan’s wisdom out any longer.” Xigon leaned down to whisper. “And I’ll need you to do what the Iron God can’t. Remember?”

She gave a barely discernible nod and choked out that she would try. Then she fell silent and crumpled against him. He caught her and pulled her into a tight embrace. Her eyes flashed purple, almost white, then squeezed shut as she fought an impossible battle.

Holding her, it ached how small she was.

His body screamed with pain as he lifted her up. Each step toward the kitchen door threatened to be his last. For her sake, he tried to endure it. He didn’t have much of a choice.

Xigon only made it as far as the hallway before folding to his knees. He sat there with her, offering what meager pain relief he could through his touch. He wished he could do more. She’d done so much for them. It wasn’t fair.

He waited for what felt like hours, but might have only been a few minutes, until someone else found them.

He looked up and Ami stood there, her soul now fully and impossibly bright. Xigon choked back a sob. Had that glow always been there, and so radiant under all that rot?

Ami adjusted her lichen-crusted hat and knelt down to Kolo’s side. “Thank you, Kolo. I’ll never know how to repay you.” She stroked the girl’s white hair. “Just come back to us when you’re done, all right? Come right back and we’ll be waiting.”

Ami’s eyes watered as she turned her gaze to Xigon. “Master.”

Xigon bowed his head. “Ami.”

“I’m sorry.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “For all of it.”

Xigon didn’t respond.

“I’ll take care of Kolo from here,” she choked. “I’ll make sure she lives. It’s the least I can do.”

He let Ami pull Kolo from his arms and watched them leave.

When he realized he could no longer feel the draw of anyone at the edge of death, his relief and exhaustion were so profound he fell asleep right there on the cold floor.

(I can’t, I can’t…)

That cruel echo carried into the dark with him, and for maybe the first time in his life, Xigon was aware of dreaming.

He sat at the edge of an ink-dark sea and dug his hands into eerily luminous sand. It flowed through his fingers, cold as ice.

By his side, the husk of the soul he’d taken stirred slightly. A skeletal hand clawed at his wrist.

“We placed it all on her shoulders, even though she’s so small.” Xigon locked their fingers together. “No wonder this happens. It’s what we deserve.”

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 66 [Kolo]

CW: gore, body horror

 It was as if Ido’s shock had ripped her straight from her body.

Kolo listened, detached and apathetic, to the cacophony of her own screams. That pathetic girl couldn’t really be her. The electric rage couldn’t really be Ido’s. All this was, all it could be, was Valielit’s depraved fantasy.

Oh, Vali…why?

Ido’s grip released and she arched backwards, taking a huge gasp of air. Her limbs convulsed in fiery spasms. She writhed like a beetle on its back. Ido and another body tumbled over her. She heard the boy shriek in a voice that wasn’t his own, only for his new assailant to slam his head against the floor hard enough to silence him.

Kolo sat up and fought to catch her breath. Her vision swam; she couldn’t discern who was in front of her. Not that she might have believed her eyes in any case.

The voice was one that made her heart leap. “Kolo, are you all right?”

“Channei!” Kolo slumped with relief. “She didn’t get you, did she?”

Channei shook her head and glared tearfully at the still-stunned Ido. “That beast!” She stamped her boot into the wall. “I always thought Magpie was strange, but…what the actual fuck? How could she do this to him?” Her voice rose to a shriek. “When is enough enough?!”

Channei’s tears dripped onto the floor beside Kolo.

“She didn’t start with him.” Kolo swallowed the lump in her throat. “And she won’t end with him either. It’s me she’s after, I’ll bet.”

Channei crouched down to her level. “I don’t know what you’re planning, Kolo, but…” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Fuck, I can’t lose you.”

“I’m sorry you got caught up in this.” Kolo gave her a sad smile. “But Valielit won’t be the end of us. I won’t let her.”

“Then I’m coming with you.” Channei’s hands clenched into fists. “And you can’t stop me, you hear me? I’m not laying you out for the gravebirds. Besides, that bitch had the guts to mess with Ido on my watch.”

The look in Channei’s eyes, that conviction to burn to ashes right along with her – it wasn’t something Kolo could bear to refuse. Her smile widened, though still grim. “I expected nothing less.”

“Wait, you’re letting me?” Channei’s voice quieted.

Kolo nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

Straining, she pulled herself up and leaned against the wall. Valielit wouldn’t make this easy, of course. She’d never been one to play fair.

A sliver of some lost time poked through, where she and Vali had played hide-and-seek in the forest around their village, back when nothing meant anything bigger. She winced.

“Hey, what’s this?” Channei ran several strides ahead and pointed down at a dark splatter on the floor.

Kolo came to look. It was fresh blood, still slick and creeping across the stone. Hand and footprints of a similar hue led onward from the spot. It was a gruesome sight, but Kolo couldn’t shake the thought that it was purposeful. Like Valielit was marking a trail for her.

Her eyes followed the stains as they crept up and along the wall. She stopped where a bloody handprint snatched the image of her eagle.

A handprint that looked different from the rest.

Kolo’s stomach turned. She looked at Channei and grew rigid. “Whose blood is this?”

“I think it’s Magpie’s?” Channei didn’t sound entirely certain. “I mean, I haven’t seen—”

“Makes sense she wouldn’t want to show herself, then.” Kolo looked at the handprints on the floor. “They’re all right handprints except for…”

A left handprint blotted over her eagle.

Her heart froze.

When she turned, Channei’s left hand snatched her by the throat.

“Hi, Kolo.” Channei’s lips pulled back in an unnatural grin. “Sorry. I just couldn’t resist.”

With one look at that smug, horrid smile, Kolo exploded. She grabbed her assailant in every ghost hand she could muster. Tears scalded her blurring vision. She threw the mockery of Channei against the opposite wall with a sickening crack. “Vali, why?!”

Bloody spit ran down Channei’s chin as her voice cackled.

“Vali, whatever I did to you…” Kolo choked. “Whatever I did, whatever I failed to do, whatever I forgot, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “I’m sorry anyone ever favored me over you. That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”

Channei’s left hand flailed in the air as if it had a mind of its own. Valielit kept laughing through her puppeted body.

“Vali, please.” Kolo fell to her knees. “Just because our grandmother thought you were an abomination doesn’t mean you have to prove her right.”

“You think I still give a damn about any of that?” Valielit’s voice came loud and clear, but not from Channei. It seemed to echo from every direction at once. “You’re overthinking this. I’m hungry; that’s all there is to it.”

Kolo couldn’t tell what was true. Her grip on Channei slipped. Channei’s body lurched toward her. Another voice yelled.

A muscular arm came between them and knocked Channei back.

Lalek locked eyes with Kolo. “I’ll keep them off you. You’ve got to find her before it’s too late.”

Channei’s hands scrambled for Lalek’s throat, but Lalek lifted her head out of reach and pushed Channei to the floor, pinning her down under one foot.

“Kolo, did you hear me?” Lalek’s tone was frantic.

“Are you insane?” Kolo gasped.

“I’m the only one of us still unmarked.” Lalek stared down at the writhing form of Channei. “I’ll make sure they see the other side of this, but only if I can outlast Magpie. And to do that I need someone who knows her best. Got it?”

Lightning flashed down the hall.

Lalek threw an arm out to shove Kolo along. “Hurry!”

Kolo could hardly breathe. She charged blindly. Threw a ghost hand out to trip Ido and buy Lalek some more time. He fell like a doll from a torn pocket. She tried not to look at him.

She still glimpsed his face contorted in a hideous cry. Still saw his hands rush to shield his ears.

Then she heard it. This must have been what Aza and Qila had heard to make them bleed. On some primal level, she recognized the voice of Kaosaan and it made every fiber of her being writhe in horror.

Except it was calling her cousin and goddess.

Forgetting briefly where she was, Kolo fumbled and found a door handle. With hardly a thought she retreated into the room and slammed the door, silencing everything for a blissful instant.

Once her eyes adjusted, she found herself in familiar surroundings again. The kitchen cabinets she could never keep straight almost felt like old friends, as did the counters Qila always fussed about nobody keeping clean enough, even as she herself splatter-painted them with whatever…

Kolo looked over her shoulder. The door was still closed, everything was still quiet, but her gut squirmed.

Hardly daring to move a muscle, she extended a ghost limb to feel around.

Wood. Tile. Something sticky.

Footsteps ran past her out in the hall. Her heart jumped into her throat. She kept feeling around.

A scratched-up cookpot. Old frayed burlap.

Kolo squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to breathe too loud.

A rusty nail sticking out. That one rattly drawer handle. Cups stacked too high. Something wet.

 Breath. Warmth.

…Valielit, drenched in blood.

“There you are.” Kolo’s voice cracked.

Wet, skeletal, claw-like fingers emerged from the cabinet and grasped Kolo’s ghost limb in a macabre greeting. “Hello.”

The floor seemed to wobble beneath her. Kolo sank to her knees, took a huge shuddering breath, and choked out one word. “Why?”

“Why what?” Vali’s grip released, and she emerged fully from the cabinet. The full sight of her made Kolo double over in a heaving wreck.

Valielit’s left arm was completely gone, and her right arm was disintegrated to the point her finger bones jutted out like claws. Her face was fixed in a permanent skeletal grin, skinless jaw panting and salivating like a bloodthirsty hound. Her abdomen was a huge open cavity, spine and lower ribs exposed and glowing purplish. Her legs were mangled beyond recognition.

“Isn’t it beautiful, goddess?” There was a horrible scraping as exposed bone dragged along the tile. “Even when he rends my flesh from existence, my soul is only ever yours.”

Kolo remembered her own body and turned toward the door.

“I wouldn’t try to run away if I were you.” Valielit inched closer, streaking a trail of dark blood. “In fact, I would block that door.”

“Yeah?” Kolo’s jaw clenched. “Why’s that?”

“Can’t you feel it?” Her breath was hot on Kolo’s back. “Your master’s standing on the other side. All I had to give him was Kaosaan’s voice. If you open the door, he’ll do the same thing to you that he did to this flesh I’ve held onto.”

Kolo shook her head. It had to be a bluff. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to try and flee. She’d fled long enough. Instead, she looked straight into the disintegrated smile and asked. “And once your body’s all gone, what then?”

“I take after my sire, that’s what.” Valielit sank into a sitting position, bracing with what remained of her right arm. “Didn’t Grandmother ever tell you that story? I heard it a whole lot.”

Kolo pursed her lips. “No.”

“You know our mamas were sisters. Well, your mama was going to have a baby, and that baby was going to be a little goddess. My mama wanted a special baby too, but all her babies up to that point were born corpses.” Valielit chuckled. “Grandma said my mama got so jealous when her sister was pregnant that she let the Grinner infect a man and then impregnate her to bring me into existence.”

Nausea writhed in Kolo’s gut.

“The Grinner is a scrap of Vraelen’s pure disembodied will. Something about how he tore out his will with his heart, so he couldn’t become like Kaosaan or be destroyed entirely. But just like his heart…” Valielit jabbed a bone-claw into Kolo’s chest. “His will came alive. His will multiplied, his will devoured. It shouldn’t have, but here I am.” She jabbed again, harder. “Ripping Ami apart and sucking her dry was fun, yes, but she’s long since outlived her usefulness. Once my body is gone, I’ll reach the peak of all existence…with you.”

Kolo balled her hands into fists and raised them in a defensive stance.

“Yes, come on.” Valielit leaned closer. “Break me out right now, and I’ll be with you forever.”

Kolo glowered. “Like you were with Ami?”

Valielit’s head jerked to an unnatural angle. “Forever.”

As she hissed that word, one of her eyes rolled in a circle before coming undone. Blood gushed from the now-empty socket, streaking what remained of her cheek in thick dark red.

Kolo took a sharp breath. If she didn’t do anything, Valielit’s body would be completely destroyed soon enough, leaving that will she’d spoken of bare and hazardous. If Kolo tried to fight, it would only exacerbate that outcome.

Fuck. This was impossible.

Kolo curled into herself, pressing her head into her knees, lest Vali see her tears. This thing had crawled its way into what was supposed to be a sanctuary. Channei and Ido were probably ripping Lalek to shreds against their own wills. Azvalath wasn’t dying on the hunt but in the place where he should have been safest. Their masters who’d seemed so immense back then were both helpless now.

Her chest shuddered and she bit her tongue, still trying to stifle her sobs.

It all made her feel so painfully small. Like nothing she’d ever said or done really meant anything.

Would it be so bad to simply let her cousin win? If she could even call this thing her cousin anymore.

What remained of Valielit’s left hand dug into her upper arm, then crept up toward her neck. Crumbling splinters of bone brushed against her skin, scorching to the touch. She flinched.

In another world, she’d made Xigon flinch as he sat falling apart. She’d thrown out some grandiose talk about doing what their god couldn’t.

Wait, why was she thinking about that day now?

Perhaps it was the prickling sensation of his gaze landing on her back as the kitchen door opened. The thuds of his boots and crutches came to a halt right behind her.

When Kolo dared to look up, he let his crutches fall and lifted one hand to cover his eyes. With the other, he reached into his pocket and produced the talisman Kolo had given up.

Kolo’s hand inched ever so slightly toward it. Valielit must have pieced it together already, because her jaw gaped open and let out a howl in a voice far too much like Kaosaan’s.

Kolo fell onto her back, hitting her head as her hands flew to clutch her ears. Xigon moved above her. Her talisman fell to the floor beside her. Valielit cried long and loud like a holf. Xigon’s hand fell away from his eyes for the briefest second. The glimpse she caught was like looking straight at the sun. He covered them again just as quickly before grabbing something else out of his pocket.

“What are you doing?” she yelped.

In his hand was a cartridge of inky liquid.

“Rager, really? Don’t bother with that.” Valielit leaned over Kolo and laughed up at Xigon. “She’s mine no matter what you do.”

Rager?!

Kolo’s eyes blew wide.

She watched Xigon uncover his eyes again, now baring them entirely. They flared a violet-white that chilled her to her core. Far too much power amassed, ready to explode with or without that poison. As he detached the needle from the reservoir, he looked like he’d destroy the whole world right here and now if he could.

In some brighter time, she’d told him that because she’d never asked to be born, she didn’t need anyone’s permission to keep on living. The thing was, Kolo didn’t need it now either.

As Valielit sealed them together, Kolo flung a ghost hand up and snatched the Rager dart from Xigon. And before Valielit could stop her, Kolo stabbed it through her own neck.

She was vaguely aware of motion, of screaming and begging and how could you or something else pointless.

She ignored it all and destroyed without pity. Every last piece, body and soul, she annihilated.

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 65 [Xigon]

The eyes of the king-snake follow the Sight, and to the mother-beast hearkens the fragile god.

_______________________________

The spell of Kaosaan's mimicked voice shattered with the excruciating reality of Azvalath crying for his master. As if waking from a dream, Xigon fell back down to his student's side. As painful as it was to see someone he loved in this state, it was also a relief to know he still had enough of a soul to feel anguish.

There was shouting and a crack of lightning somewhere in the distance, but it scarcely registered. The only thing he could see in the dark was Azvalath. Not all of him, though. Only the heat of his clinging life force.

Azvalath reached for him. "Master, please..."

Xigon saw his own hands glowing fiercely white as he closed the gap between them. When he held Azvalath, there was another compulsion. One he'd certainly experienced before, but never with so much clarity.

[swallow our pain, thankless, and grow cold]

With his entire being he could shield the helpless from Kaosaan's jaws, if only he accepted this blessing. He could hold Azvalath in peace forever, until there was nothing left of his soul to break.

The moment he recognized the idea for what it was, however, he let go of his student and turned away with a snarl of self-loathing.

He tried to stand up and walk away, only to find that he couldn't. The faltering life forces of his student – and of Ami on the other side of the door he'd commanded Rizval not to let him through – tethered him stronger than gravity.

Xigon thudded his fist against Rizval's door. "Rizval, any update?"

They thudded back. "All secure."

"Azvalath is down." Xigon leaned his head near the keyhole to try and listen through. "Status on Ami, please."

"Live." Ami's voice was a dull croak. "Rizval, in my right inside pocket there's a vial labeled B64. It's a greenish color. Give it to Xigon right now."

He heard a shuffle, then the door's middle slot opened and a vial dropped to the floor somewhere in front of him. Xigon reached out and felt around the floor until he found and grabbed it. "What is this?"

"Coagulant." He heard her drag herself a little closer. "Put it in his ears and anywhere else he's bleeding. Promise you, it'll help."

Xigon turned the vial in his hands until he found the top and popped it off. The solution was thick and burned slightly on his fingers. He didn't have to fumble in the dark long to find Azvalath's ears, thankfully, but the way he winced and whined made Xigon feel a strange phantom pain.

As promised, the bleeding stopped in a few seconds.

"Now Rizval, in my left inside pocket you'll find a cartridge marked Ld-R, containing what looks like ink and a razor-dart for administration." Her voice weakened as if she were crying. "Xigon, please don't use this unless you absolutely must."

The container dropped in front of him. It sounded heavier than the first. "What is it?"

Ami took a huge shaky breath. "Rager."

His hand halted over the poison. "Why would you give me this?" He clenched his fingers into a shaking fist. "What could possibly warrant using this?"

"When I first made Rager, I was hoping to use it on myself," she rasped. "I wanted to die in a blaze and take Magpie down with me. She never let me, though, 'cause she knew what I wanted."

Xigon's head and chest burned with a phantom agony as he placed his hand over the cartridge. Around it he could feel a string. Confused, he moved his fingers until they found something smooth and pointed.

Even without seeing, he recognized Kolo's talisman.

"Master?" Azvalath's voice cut through the dark. "Why doesn't Kolo have that?"

He shook his head. "I don't know why she'd let go of it." He pushed it toward Azvalath. "Can you get it back to her? I can't move from here."

"Why not?" Azvalath grabbed his hand. "I can't go alone."

Xigon shook his head. The so-called Sight Ami had described, the first scrap of wisdom Kaosaan had fed him – so long ago he'd mistaken it for his own power – it chained him where he sat, between Azvalath and Ami in their mortal perils.

He could carry Azvalath with him if need be. But Ami...Ami had to stay where she was.

"Ami." He pulled himself to his feet and found the slot in the door. "You came to me for a reason. Come now and I'll give it to you."

"Master, what are you about to do?" Rizval's voice cracked.

He wasn't entirely certain himself. When he drew Respite from the sheath on his belt, he heard Azvalath gasp, and he knew exactly what it looked like. What it would all too likely turn out to be.

He couldn't deceive himself. Ami could very well die here, but on the off chance she didn't, she would finally attain what she'd been striving for. Either way, they wouldn't stay trapped right here.

He slipped his ungloved fingers through the slot. "Ami, come."

He heard a shuffle and a small pained cry as she hauled herself up, perhaps aided by Rizval. Then her fingers locked around his.

He bowed his head. "Hear me, Iron God. Should this child stray, bear her gently to the darkest shore. Your mercy is not lost to us."

"Pious bastard." Ami growled at him. "You know our god can't help us now."

He pursed his lips. Yes, he knew, but the motions still gave comfort.

"Thank you, Master." She gave his fingers a squeeze. "For giving me a second chance."

"Likewise." He breathed a heavy sigh. "Push your back to the door and hold still."

He heard unsteady footsteps, then Rizval said something he couldn't discern. He searched for Ami's heat under the dark writhing tendrils, and when he found it, he thrust the dagger through the slot.

Scalding blood gushed over his hand. He heard Ami gasp and saw her heat flare out like a shattered lantern.

Xigon could only pray it was Vraelen that caught her as she fell. He brought his bloodied fist to his chest and felt his own heart pounding, then a sensation like falling. Bright flares tormented what remained of his vision. White-hot, scorching...then blue.

A great blue eye, one that had long evaded him, now beheld him as it had soon after he'd first met Qila.

Xigon. I thought I had lost you.

Tears burned in his mutilated eyes. "It was you who abandoned us, Vraelen."

Why would you believe such a thing?

"Because Qila still cries for you." He took a deep shuddering breath. "And for me, Kaosaan fills your silence. Don't you know, all the curses she forces me to swallow?"

Xigon, I've tried. The eye glistened. I have tried to reach you for so long. But even when I can reach you, there is little I can do. Kaosaan is far beyond me.

Xigon swallowed hard. A vague sensation of warmth coiled around him, almost like a gigantic hand.

If you were so desperate for me, you would follow the lead of Qila and Sothyrion, and you would do all in your power to restore me.

"It's not you I want." Xigon practically spat. "I tell my order they will do your work in your stead. And I have far more faith in the least of their abilities than I ever had in yours."

He thought he saw the Iron God flinch, and it gave him a strange satisfaction.

"And with Kolo, that dream may be feasible for the very first time." Xigon lifted his chin. "We have more of a chance than ever before."

Tell me, Xigon. A chill spiked through the air. Has that ever been your true intent?

Of course the blue eye would see straight through him.

"They can't know otherwise, not until they absolutely must." His head sank. "It would break them."

You expect them to stand and fight you if or when you succumb entirely to Kaosaan's will. Vraelen laid Xigon's vilest hope bare. Shame on you.

Something warm pressed over his eyelids.

I've got Ami. Take care of Qila for me.

Xigon opened his eyes.

He could see again. He was back where he'd stood before. All was quiet. The tug from Ami was gone.

With one chain broken, he turned to his other. "Azvalath, come." He extended his arm.

Azvalath latched on for dear life. The younger man's trust was somehow more painful than anything Qila had ever done.

['round and 'round the king-snake chased himself, 'round and 'round for centuries]

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 64 [Kolo]

In stark contrast to the instantaneous nature of jumping through blueholes, Sothyrion seemed to carry her down for eternity.

At least, Kolo could only assume they were sinking down rather than floating up, given the near complete darkness that enveloped their bodies. She felt no need for air, but with each breath she didn’t take, the seeming emptiness burrowed deeper into her mind.

Sothyrion would occasionally lay his massive head against her, perhaps checking to see if she were still alive. His claws would tighten and loosen with what Kolo imagined might be dread.

On any other day, she might have found that amusing. Something so huge shouldn’t feel dread. Now, all she could think was how unjust it was, that no matter how strong or resolute anyone seemed, no one was ever free from the fear of things that weren’t even happening yet.

Xigon had asked her once how a god could die and leave them here. Because we were born, she’d answered back then. And it seemed he’d found new faith in her. Kolo couldn’t help but wonder what she would leave behind if she didn’t survive.

She didn’t want to think her cousin would do that, but she also hadn’t ever wanted to think anything was wrong with Valielit at all. When they were children it had been easy enough to brush off as Grandmother being cruel and projecting. Maybe that had been true once, at least part of it, but now? It was impossible to be certain.

Sothyrion pulled her in toward his chest. His heartbeat was like thunder through her skull, and his voice cut straight through the dark. “I give you my blessing, sister. For a time it may keep you safer.”

Warmth radiated through her body.

Then sharp cold ripped through every inch of her skin as Sothyrion pushed her up through a now-familiar bluehole. Kolo gasped and crumpled onto the floor. Behind her, the ice locked itself back together. Sothryion was gone. Icy water dripped from Kolo’s white hair, but curiously, only her head was wet. Still more than usual after a bluehole jump.

Teeth chattering, she pulled her hood up and looked around. The entry room seemed larger than she remembered. No one else was coming or going, no one was there to greet her, and she couldn’t even hear anyone in the halls.

She stretched her arm out and snapped her fingers to see if she could hear that. It was clear as day, for once. Sothyrion’s blessing must have restored her hearing, even if only for a time. Kolo smiled. Then she heard something else and froze.

Near the top of the staircase to the roof, Master Qila sat curled in a fetal position. Her wrinkled hands clamped over her ears and she was sobbing uncontrollably.

“Qila?” Kolo rushed to the base of the stairs and called up. “Master Qila!”

Qila didn’t look at her.

Kolo ran partway up and reached out with an unseen hand to the old woman.

Qila took a shuddering breath and lifted her hands away from her ears. Her palms were slick and the gray hair around her ears was matted with blood.

Kolo’s knees felt wobbly all of a sudden.

“Kolo, I’m glad to see you.” Qila spoke in a hoarse, cracked voice. “I’m sorry, but I can’t move.”

“Why not?” Kolo tried to tug at Qila’s arm.

“I can’t let anyone out,” she managed.

Kolo pulled her unseen hand back. Not sure of how to respond, she simply stared.

Qila added after a moment. “I don’t know where Valielit is, but she must have her hooks everywhere now.”

Kolo nodded. “Maybe I can find her.”

She made her way back down the stairs and tried to swallow the uneasy feeling in her gut. Vali couldn’t possibly want to hurt her, right? Not her favorite cousin, not her only rock in those early years.

The rock she’d selfishly forgotten about…

Kolo’s jaw clenched. There wasn’t any time or space for guilt yet. She pushed it down. It made her nauseous.

She poked her head into the closet where she’d last seen Vali, but it was empty except for a few brownish-stained blankets.

Everything was still too quiet.

She let her eyes illuminate and looked around the hallway. There were similar brownish stains on the floor and walls, along with scratch marks. A fight?

Kolo looked up. The ceiling was high enough that Xigon wouldn’t have to duck while standing, but it too somehow bore marks. At first she thought they were mere scratches, but after a moment she realized it was jagged carved writing.

Hi Kolo.I put the lights out.Where are you?

Now thoroughly confused, Kolo poked her head back into the closet just to make sure no one was there. Sure enough, it was empty. Still, she felt a need to slam the door shut hard enough to make herself flinch.

Next she came to Azvalath’s room and knocked on his door. “Aza!”

It opened a second later. Azvalath gripped a blanket around his shoulders. He looked down with bleary eyes, seeming only half-awake. “Kolo?”

“Where’s Magpie?” she asked.

“Weren’t you just talking to her?” He leaned out into the hallway to look left and right.

“Huh? No.” Kolo looked over her shoulder. “I mean, I was, but then she started acting strange and Ami was a mess, and I had to–”

Azvalath stared down at her as if she were making animal noises.

“I’m not making any sense, am I?” She rubbed her forehead. “Magpie was upset, and then Xigon came out of nowhere looking insane, and he pulled Ami out of the sheets and she was all bloody, like Magpie had torn her to shreds.”

Azvalath pursed his bluish lips. “Is Xigon all right?”

Kolo looked up and down, then raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Master Xigon,” he pressed. “Where is he?”

She shrugged. “I’d assume he has Ami somewhere taking care of her, if she’s still alive.” Then she looked at Aza’s face again and took a huge step back.

A vein in his forehead bulged and his eyebrows contorted with something intense. Rage, fear, pain, or something even worse. His eyes looked dazed and empty like a rabid dog’s. It was such an unnatural expression, even for Azvalath, that it formed a pit in her stomach. Then he said something that clashed entirely with his expression.

“Glad you’re here, Kolo.”

As he stumbled closer she noticed a ring of bruising around his throat. She backed into the hallway’s wall as he careened toward her and fell to his knees in apparent agony. His skin was frightfully pale, practically glowing in the dark.

“I’m sorry,” he managed. “That was too close.”

“Was it Magpie?” Kolo’s voice cracked. “What did she do to you?”

“She woke me up and grabbed me like this.” He raised a shaky hand to his neck. “And then she—”

He fell abruptly quiet.

“Hey.” Kolo crouched down to his level. “That can’t be all she did.”

Azvalath blinked and made unsteady eye contact before dropping the blanket from his shoulders. His shirt was stained dark around his shoulders.

She reached out with an invisible hand and pulled the hair back from Azvalath’s ears. They were bleeding even more profusely than Qila’s. Kolo swallowed hard. Given his pallor and weakness, he’d lost a significant amount of blood. Her mind wove nightmarish images of what might have happened. What felt worst was that Valielit had simply left him as he was, not even caring to cover it up, much less finish whatever she’d started.

Kolo moved the unseen arm to grab Aza’s hand. “Come on.”

He didn’t say anything as she stood up and pulled him with her. All he did was follow her, trusting her for whatever goddamned reason.

“This must be why you wanted Master Xigon,” she said, if for no other reason than to get a word out of him.

All he did was whimper and nod.

She couldn’t stop looking over her shoulders, fearful that someone else would be there, even though she wanted someone else to come. The contradictory desires rubbed her the wrong way, made her bristle and sweat as she tried to get Azvalath to safety. Wherever that was. The halls she’d come to call home felt foreign all over again.

Finding Xigon wasn’t the relief she’d hoped for.

He sat in front of Rizval’s door, head resting on his knees, breathing in a slow but steady rhythm. Kolo realized quickly that he was asleep, but why now and why here, she struggled to grasp.

Azvalath crouched in front of Xigon. “Master? ”

No response.

“I don’t think he’s awake.” Kolo pressed her fingernail into her teeth. “Let’s go to his study. Maybe he has something we could use.”

Azvalath didn’t seem to be listening. He reached with unsteady fingers toward Xigon’s still form. Xigon remained motionless. That was, until Aza touched him.

Then the master’s hands shot up and seized him like holf jaws.

Azvalath let out a startled cry and tried to scramble away. Kolo jumped back with a shrill yelp and nearly fell.

Xigon pressed his long spidery hands over Azvalath’s bleeding ears and brought him down so their foreheads nearly touched. “Shhhh.”

Aza’s arms fell slack by his sides, motionless, as if all his own will had been extinguished.

Kolo shuddered. It felt grotesque, how he could bend them all like dolls. She clenched her jaw and watched Xigon lift his head slightly toward her.

His eyes were squeezed shut and weeping blood, which made his next words bewildering. “I see you, Kolo.”

Kolo pursed her lips. It sounded too much like something Valielit might say.

His head turned more toward her. “Come here.”

She inched back from him. “Who are you?”

He said something that barely registered as language in a voice as dulcet and horrid as holf song. At the sound of it, Kolo recoiled and covered her ears before she could even think about why. Azvalath contorted backwards with a shriek like he was being flayed alive.

“Shhh.” The master pressed his finger to Azvalath’s lips. “I thought so. Magpie can fabricate the voice of Kaosaan. In that case, Kolo, there’s something you should know.”

Dread coiled in her chest.

“I suspect Magpie’s fabricated voices have entirely the same effects as the real ones.” He pulled a bloodied hand away from Azvalath’s left ear and showed it to her. “Including the Destroyer. That must be how she did this to Azvalath. And if I hear it, then I–”

From somewhere up the hall, an entrancing voice sang back whatever Xigon had said a moment ago to make Aza scream.

The master’s head snapped up. His hands released Azvalath, who crumpled to the floor unconscious.

Kolo rushed to his side. “Aza!” She grabbed his shoulders and shook him. “Aza, wake up!”

Xigon stood up to his full terrifying height. He didn’t acknowledge either of them. The singsong voice continued. Kolo fought and rapidly succumbed to the urge to turn toward the call.

She couldn’t see anyone, but she realized with a chill she could understand every word.

“Hello, my goddess. At last, mine. Welcome home.” A pause. “You recognize this voice, blind fool?”

Xigon’s mangled eyes snapped open. “Kolo, no matter what I tell you or do from this point forward, don’t let me or anyone else into Rizval’s room. That’s an order.”

“Why?” she asked in a small voice.

“That’s an order.” Xigon seethed. “Ami’s in there.”

“TAKE HER TOO!”

Kolo darted out from under Xigon when he tried to grab her. The sweet voice grew dissonant and echoed down the hall like a whole chorus of whispers. She ran straight to its source, expecting Valielit to jump out and grab her as well. But no, it wasn’t Valielit. Not entirely.

Ido was the one to seize her mid-stride. His hands jerked out like a puppet’s and shocked her into convulsions. Her head hit the floor so hard she saw stars amidst all the sparks.

“You think you can run away and find your heaven somewhere else?” Ido leaned down into her face, spitting rage with each word. “You did this. All of this.”

Kolo saw lightning and heard herself scream in agony, as if she were watching some macabre performance from afar. She couldn’t feel it, but she also couldn’t deny it. 

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 63 [Dakko]

Before he knew the danger they were all in, Dakko had almost felt well. What was supposed to be a brief visit with Rizval about his new boots giving him blisters turned into half a night as they both either lost track of time or stopped caring about sleep.

Rizval bent over a workbench, focused intently on what they’d insisted wasn’t just a pile of sand. Dakko watched them scrutinize individual grains of not-sand and tested their patience. “When do you get your arm out of the sling?”

Rizval hissed. “Shh. I’m busy.”

“You’re always busy.” Dakko straightened and bent his fingers a few times; they were freezing up for no reason.

No response.

“But you make such amazing things,” the boy added.

Rizval’s mood brightened in an instant. They smiled with their oddly pointed teeth. “Thank you.”

Dakko chuckled. “Why are your teeth pointy?”

“Rearranged the fifteenth and twentieth elements’ crystallites a bit.” Rizval looked up. When they saw confusion on Dakko’s face, they sulked a little. “I mean I made them grow like that.”

“Huh. Interesting.” Dakko rubbed his left hand and felt ice cracking under his skin. “So what exactly is your power?”

“I don’t actually create matter.” Rizval dug their nails into the not-sand. “But if crystals are like clay, I can sculpt them.” The dark grains became something like glass under their palm. “And more importantly, I like doing it.”

“I like it too.” Dakko fed another compliment and got another immediate smile. “Thanks to you, I can walk so much easier now.”

“Of course, kid.” Rizval looked down at Dakko’s feet. “I hate that you’re missing toes, but I liked that I could fill in the gaps.” Then they stared up at his face in sudden self-awareness. “I’m sorry, that sounded really strange.”

“You like that you could solve a problem?” Dakko suggested.

“Yes! That’s it.” Rizval smacked the workbench. “It feels great to be helpful, y’know?”

“Which you are.” The boy moved to stand next to Rizval. “Doesn’t matter how strong or smart you are if you’re not helping, right?”

“Heh, yeah.” Rizval shrugged. “Y’know, I like that. I used to feel bad that I couldn’t keep up with the pack. If I push myself too hard I drop like a rock. Something about my heart not working well under pressure, Master Xigon said.” They ran a jittery hand over their chest. “But you know what? I could never leave my room and still be the most helpful person here.”

“I’m with you there.” Dakko winced as he rubbed an especially sore spot on his hand.

Rizval noticed the motion. “Your hand all right?”

“It’s hurting.” The boy pulled it back toward his pocket.

“Hey, may I see?” Rizval beckoned. “I have an idea.”

Dakko extended his arm, trembling, to rest his hand on Rizval’s workbench. Rizval unfastened the wrist brace, revealing angry lesions bristling with frost. Dakko flinched and turned his head away. It hurt more when he looked at it. His teeth clenched and chattered.

Rizval hummed. “Yeah, that’s bad. Here’s what we’re gonna do.” They snapped their fingers. “Look here for a second.”

The boy seethed. “Do I have to?”

“Just thought you might be interested.” Rizval picked his hand up as delicately as possible. “I’ve been working on a material that can warm your joints as well as stabilize them. Wanna try it out?”

Dakko nodded. He couldn’t form a coherent sentence in his mind or his mouth. It was so confusing to be tended to like this. He kept wondering where the catch was, what his end of the deal was supposed to be. That there was no exchange to begin with…he couldn’t wrap his head around it. But here was Rizval, someone with nothing to gain from him, seeing his need and meeting it.

Rizval’s fingertip brushed along a scar on his wrist.

Dakko looked back. Rizval’s eyes were wide and their mouth hung slightly open. “Hey, when did you kill someone?”

The boy blinked.

“Dakko.” Rizval’s tone grew deathly serious. “What happened?”

He opened his mouth and then shut it again. How was he supposed to respond? Should he not have done what he did, back in the clutches of a woman who thought she was saving him when he was the real monster?

So he took the least responsible route and deflected. “What happened to your shoulder?”

Rizval seethed. “Accident.”

Dakko shook his head. “I think one of those kids shot at you on purpose.”

“No!” Rizval smacked the workbench. “That is not what happened. Spreading a rumor like that could get those kids slaughtered for something an adult they trusted made them do. Do you understand?”

Dakko flinched. Then he took a deep breath and bit his lip. “Even if that adult…happened to freeze to death a little while ago?”

Rizval raised an eyebrow. “...the fuck?”

Dakko squeezed his eyes shut.

Something clicked under Rizval’s fingernails. Then they handed his wrist brace back. “Try this out.”

He put it back on without a word. It fit perfectly and soothed the cold ache. He tried to muster any word of gratitude, but managed only a shaky smile. Hopefully that was enough.

“I’m not mad at you,” Rizval clarified. “Just don’t wanna see you get eaten up like the rest of us. You come right back if you need anything at all, you hear me?”

The boy gave a tearful nod. “Yeah.”

As he was about to leave, Dakko paused, fingers trembling over the doorknob. He heard people yelling down the hall. Loud footsteps. Something like a wild animal shrieking. Sharp cracks almost like lightning.

Warily, he turned back to Rizval. “What’s going on out there?”

Rizval squinted, then came over to listen. Their eyebrows knitted into a confused scowl. “What in the…?”

They nudged Dakko aside and cracked the door ever so slightly open. The yelling grew clearer, and what they heard was nothing short of shocking. Dakko made uneasy eye contact. “Is that Xigon?”

“Holy shit.” Rizval grew pale and shut the door hard. Then they bolted it and scrambled to drag a chair in front of it. “Dakko, this is really bad.”

“Wait, why?” Dakko glanced around. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” Rizval admitted. “But if Master Xigon ever raises his voice, that’s beyond serious. And –”

An even louder crack made them both jump.

“That,” Rizval took a shaky breath, “is…um, the sound of him destroying matter. In plain terms, we are absolutely fucked.”

Dakko’s eyes grew wide.

“We’re not next. No. He’s trying to protect us. From what, though?” Rizval leaned their head on the door. “Can you hear anything else?”

Dakko cupped his still-stiff hand behind his ear. The two of them listened for several minutes that dragged on forever. It was silent except for their shaky breaths, but neither of them dared move.

Not until someone slammed their fist on the door and yelled for them to open it.

Dakko took an unsteady step backwards. Rizval scrambled like a mouse from under a boot.

Whoever it was heard their movement and ordered them again, fiercely. “Rizval, let me in now.”

Dakko realized with a start it was Xigon. It panicked him to hear the master anything but dead calm. Sheepishly, he turned to Rizval. “Are you going to?”

Rizval shoved the chair away and opened the door just long enough for Xigon to throw himself through. Then they rushed to lock it again. “Master, what’s happening? Why do you have –” Their face went pale and they clamped a hand over their mouth. “Ami?”

Xigon had crumpled to his knees. Held loosely in his lap was the monstrous poisoner, but not so monstrous-looking now. Ami’s shirt was stained a shade darker and clung wet to her skin, save for the ragged gashes ripped through it. It looked like she’d been mauled by a starving wild animal. But that didn’t horrify Dakko nearly as much as her face – her skin drained ghastly pale and tearful eyes fighting to stay open for fear of never seeing again.

He’d seen that face before. It wasn’t any easier now.

Dakko stumbled. His head seemed to fill with ice water. He sank to his hands and knees. The floor blurred in and out. It was all he could bring himself to stare at. The floor that might have just as easily been the ceiling…

In the fog he inhaled his own spit and coughed, jarring himself back to clarity.

“Valielit has launched her assault. I suspect Qila has already been compromised,” he heard Xigon say. “Rizval, I need you to secure this room for the safety of anyone injured.”

“Where’s Ido?” Dakko whimpered.

Xigon turned to the sound of his voice. Then Dakko noticed his eyes for the first time and it made his stomach lurch. The master’s eyes were mutilated into blood-weeping pits. The occasional pulse of violet flared through like light from a broken lantern, but the sight seemed gone.

His words were far from reassuring. “Valielit must believe I can interfere with her nature in some way. Otherwise she wouldn’t have gone for my eyes first.”

“Fuck.” Rizval stormed across the room and kicked a stool over. “We’re dead!”

“I’ve made new eyes before. I’ll do it again.” Xigon held his hand up. “Right now, I need you to listen.”

Dakko couldn’t bring himself to pay any attention to whatever orders came next. It wasn’t as if he could fulfill them anyway, small and feeble as he was. So he simply covered his ears and stared, as if torn from his body, at the face he’d seen in his worst nightmares.

Ami stared back. Then she glanced up at Xigon, then back at him. Her hand slid toward his knee.

Dakko looked down. Was she seeking reassurance from him of all people? Or was she, of all people, trying to reassure him?

Warily, he uncovered one ear and pressed his icy hand over hers. Her fingers twitched like an insect’s legs. He shivered and leveled her a glare. Yes, he’d seen this before – but it had all started with her. His grief, his pity, and his rage all tangled together like worms under rotten wood. It was hard to say where one ended and another began.

Ami seemed to see straight through him. The tiniest, bitterest smirk played across her blue-tinged lips. She mouthed something only he could hear. “You’re still stuck, aren’t you?”

He half-wondered if he’d imagined her voice.

“In any case, Rizval, you’re not just keeping Valielit out. You’re keeping me out.” Xigon sounded far away even though he was right in front of Dakko. “Be strong, you three. Don’t go out.”

He laid Ami on the floor and stood to leave. Her other hand jerked almost reflexively after him. Rizval followed him to the door and said something else. Dakko didn’t pay any attention. Not until Rizval came back to his side and gave him a pat on the back. “Deep breath, kid. Want a blanket?”

Dakko nodded.

Ami lifted her head slightly. “How’s your shoulder, Rizval?”

“It’s—” Rizval reached for their shoulder and then squinted. “Such a strange thing to ask right now.” Then they went to grab a blanket and tossed it in Dakko’s direction.

Dakko snatched it out of the air and cocooned himself in it.

“You know what else is strange?” Ami locked eyes with Dakko. “I can actually tell the whole truth now.”

The boy cocked his head.

“Magpie was never my friend. She was draining me to strengthen herself, all that time.” She laid her head back down and stared up at the ceiling. “And she made it so I couldn’t say or feel anything too loud, anything at all that’d point to her as the source.”

Dakko sat in silence for a moment.

“Didn’t kill me, of course. Don’t think she ever wanted to.” Ami sighed. “But the one thing I could never, ever stand was being helpless. And that’s what she made me.”

Dakko rested his head on his knees. “All her fault? I don’t believe that.”

“Of course not.” Ami looked back at him. “What happened to your old man, Dakko? That was all me.” She pulled her hand away from him. “At the end of the day, everything you went through was because of me.”

The boy looked away. “I don’t believe that either.”

“Well, then…think you could ever learn to live with me?” Ami gave him a faint smile.

Dakko closed his eyes. “First, let’s survive.”

[lshark-cs]

Hello stranger.

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 62 [Kolo]

While Kolo struggled to grasp her predicament, the holf lay quiet by her side, newly deep red eyes eerily staring.

Once she'd caught her breath, she turned to stare back. The beast watched her, still unblinking. His huge, tufted ears shifted slightly to follow her movement. The wind dusted his cryptic fur with snow and spruce needles.

Kolo walked to his other side. Slaaek's eyes and ears followed her.

She reached out with a ghost hand to touch him. He was dreadfully warm.

Slaaek pushed back against the contact, lips parting ever so slightly.

"Death is the ideal outcome for the likes of us, you say?" Kolo took a deep breath. "I don't know where you got such a rotten idea."

One tufted ear twitched. You're so loud.

"Well, you tell me." She extended another ghost hand and grabbed his ear, making him jolt. "Where did you get such a rotten idea?"

Slaaek got to his feet. A low growl rumbled deep in his chest, one Kolo didn't hear so much as feel in her bones. She fought every fiber of her being to stay put, not to run or even flinch.

Maybe she flinched anyway, because the holf's horrid eyes seemed gloat. It's not my idea, i'iba. He leered down, breathing hot and fast down her back. Sothyrion told me so as he guided me toward you. He actually didn't want me to pass it on to you.

Kolo tipped her chin up and straightened her posture. "Why's that, huh?"

Everyone needs you. Slaaek's head twisted at an odd angle as he read her expressions. Isn't that right?

"I keep hearing that." Kolo started walking at a slow but steady pace back toward the bluehole. "And no one's ever really straight with me about why."

And what answer would satisfy you? Slaaek hung his head over her and took shaking steps on legs that clearly didn't see much use. What would someone have to say or do for you to change your mind about anything?

Kolo ignored the beast and pressed on.

Where are you going? The holf's heavy paws crunched over ice and rock. Sothyrion sealed all the blueholes. I already said so. Are you deaf?

"If I am, it's only because I had to survive you." Kolo scratched at her right ear, which all of a sudden hurt so bad it filled her with fiery rage.

How very clever you were, i'iba. Slaaek's nose nudged at her back and took a deep sniff. You smell like our god. His breath was hot on her neck. Nice smelling.

"Back off me." Kolo tried to speed her pace, but the increasingly rocky terrain as they drew nearer to the shore practically guaranteed a broken ankle if she ran. She managed to climb up onto a higher rock, giving her a clearer view of the now completely frozen lake.

Nice smelling. Slaaek pushed the idea again. I want our god. We all wish!

She squinted. The glare from the ice sheet was like looking straight at the sun. Or maybe like a god's eye. "You told me your song was a lullaby of wishes for the heart before it stops."

The holf let out a long, low drone.

"I'll bet Sothyrion wishes for our god all the same." She closed her eyes and wiped moisture from them. "Let's see if he hears you."

Slaaek came to sit beside her, panting heavily. The fact that a short walk had left him so winded made him seem so much less frightening. They looked at each other and made eye contact, perhaps both recognizing the absurdity of their situation.

The holf's lips drew back in what looked almost like a smirk. Cover your ears.

His heavy head turned to face the frozen lake, and his jaw opened frightfully wide. Kolo pressed her hands over her ears, but kept her eyes firmly on the beast. "Do it now."

Slaaek closed his eyes and folded his own ears shut. His nostrils flared, drawing in a deep breath, then he sang.

Even with her ears covered, it was extremely loud, but Kolo heard it for what it really was. One simple idea repeated over and over in dulcet tones. I will show you what you seek. I will show you what you seek.

It was simultaneously the most horrifying and beautiful sound she'd ever heard.

Slaaek screamed out his lure until he nearly passed out breathless. When his voice trailed off, the silence it left was earsplitting. But it didn't last long.

A jagged crack split the ice with a sound like thunder, and an immense serpentine head burst up through the frozen water with a howl.

Ice fell from Sothyrion's horns and jagged teeth. His yellow eyes squeezed shut and he coughed, showering the ice with metallic dark fluid. Then he turned and saw who'd really called him, and he gave a deep growl.

Kolo froze in instinctive panic.

His head disappeared below the surface. Cold wind swept off the bluehole. So cold it hurt to breathe. She shivered and cursed herself for feeling fear now of all times. I'm not afraid.

You should be, she imagined Azvalath saying. And she cursed the voice of reason for sounding like him.

Sothyrion burst through the ice right at the water's edge.

Kolo jumped and tumbled backwards off her foothold. A chunk of ice hit Slaaek straight in the face, knocking him back with a yelp. And the water spirit glared down at both of them, practically boiling with fury.

"You would dare to invoke my father, now of all times?" Sothyrion hissed. Blood and tears dripped with the ice water from his face. "You know not where you tread, Kolo."

Kolo shielded her eyes as he breathed down on her. "No, I don't," she admitted. "And I'm sorry I don't understand. Will you help me?"

Sothyrion's head lowered down toward her chest and he took a deep breath. "Help you?" His expression hardened. "What could you ever need from me?"

"Let me through the bluehole. I need to get back to Styzia." She moved her arm and tried to sit up, but found herself too shaky. "They're my only chance, and I'm theirs."

"My mother had me seal the passages," he told her, unswayed.

Kolo swallowed hard and grasped where her necklace used to be. "Mothers don't always know best."

Slaaek crawled toward Kolo, stones clattering under his weight.

"I see how it is." Sothyrion glowered between the holf and the white-haired girl. "My mother, wiser than us all – tells me to hold my walls strong, because she fears something or someone for once in millennia, and you expect me to take the word of naive little insects over hers?" Wisps of mist curled from his breath. "Please, little ones, give me some reason why I shouldn't crush you."

"People your mother loves are going to die if you don't let me through." Kolo sat up, finally. "Hell, Qila herself might die. Let me through and I won't let that happen."

Sothyrion's eyes narrowed. "My mother will survive." His golden irises darkened as if soaked in violet ink. "And it's not as if she can do what's right and kill the ones she's gotten attached to."

"Oh, so it was your rotten idea all along, huh?" Kolo stood up, fear giving way to rage. "We deserve to live!"

"No, Kolo." Sothyrion's teeth bared. "My father's semi-mortal descendants are a necessary sacrifice. Your presence here holds him back. He cannot be replaced." A huge, webbed hand reached toward Kolo, sharp claws pulsing white. "The ones who come back, the Ferash Therall, should have one focus only. Clear his way back to us."

"Then why haven't you done it yet?" Kolo's voice rose to a scream. She wrapped her arms around herself, desperate to contain the growing terror that ripped through her and remain steady. "Why won't you kill me, if that's really the ideal outcome?"

Slaaek stirred somewhere behind her.

"Because I don't want this to be the truth." Sothyrion's eyes glistened with tears. "But it's the way things are."

The way things are. Kolo used to hear that a lot, when she was smaller and still so angry at the unfairness of the world. Always meant to instill some helpless feeling that anger wasn't worth it. Accept the way things were, and never aspire. What were ideals if not a vice?

But that anger all culminated now. And as Sothyrion's hand swung to strike her, she met it with all her unseen ones.

He froze up. Clearly, he hadn't expected resistance, and clearly it rattled him.

"Let me through!" Kolo yelled at him again. "The way things are isn't how they have to stay. Even the Iron God said as much!" She pushed forward, pleading now. "Don't you believe him?"

"Why?" Sothyrion growled. "Why would he put you before me?"

"I don't know." Kolo pinned his claws to the ground. "He's abandoned far too many of us. But I won't, you hear me?"

I hear you.

Slaaek's mouth opened frightfully wide. His eyes fixated on the small human.

Kolo shivered.

We all need you. His nostrils flared. You are all we need.

His song spilled forth again, but the tune had changed. Now it told of a different yearning.

Only you. Only you. Only you. Awaken.

Kolo glared up at Sothyrion. Her heart pounded with terror and determination alike. And he looked back at her with tears.

She'd seen those same tears in so many eyes. Grandmother praising her like some idol. Valielit crying for her goddess. Xigon asking her how a god could die and leave them here. Channei's aching admiration. Azvalath's impossible hope.

The Iron God himself entrusting her with an infinity of prayers meant for him.

"I'll do what he could never do." She pressed a shaking fist to her chest, to the heartbeat that wasn't solely her own. "I won't abandon us."

Then she strode out onto the ice. The water spirit and the holf watched her as if she were larger than both of them. Impossible strength carried her.

She ran until she slipped and slammed her knees into the ice. The impact made her bite her tongue. Kolo spat out blood and gasped. Her reflection spat and gasped right back. Tiny, weak little thing. No fitting image for a last hope.

She gathered all her force, every unseen hand she could muster, and punched through that fragile image.

The ice shattered like thin glass and plunged her into the deep cold.

An eerie light followed her down. She heard a deep voice whimper. "Mother mine, forgive me."

And Sothyrion cradled her close, bearing her through. After all the anguish he'd cried out, his trust was the heaviest weight to carry. 

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 61 [Qila]

In the quiet before Magpie’s attack, it had almost been a peaceful evening, where the strangest thing Master Qila had to deal with was Xigon not only letting himself into her study, but seeming eager to see her.

The door creaked open and she looked up from her rocking chair to see him scooting his wheelchair to join her at her small table. She cocked her head, surprised but not at all bothered. “Good evening.”

“Good evening indeed.” He slammed a stack of notes on the table. “I’ve got it, Qila. Finally.”

“Hmm?” Qila slid the papers over to examine them. “Xigon, I can barely read your handwriting. What is this?”

“The fullest picture I could form.” His long fingers grasped the edge of the table. “You know, the very first time I met Ami, she wasn’t festering like she is now.”

“Mm-hm.” Qila squinted. “I vaguely remember. Back when you and Azvalath took on the fanatic who used to be a common cause of death for our students? And it was his first mission?”

“Well…” Xigon winced. “Yes. Said fanatic was actually a relative of Kolo and Valielit. Came to find that out recently, and there’s a connection you might find interesting.”

Qila looked through the notes and found a rough diagram.

Ami refuses to join us for the time being → repatriates Khohet’s remains → WHAT HAPPENED? → Ami has changed and now disturbs me.

“I don’t quite follow.” The old woman looked up. “What do you think changed?”

“According to Ido, Magpie was with Ami when he and his brother encountered her.” He scratched his wrist. “I’ve since wondered if Ami’s more alarming changes started when she returned Khohet’s body to his family’s village, given that Valielit lived there too. She had to have picked Valielit up around that time.”

Qila swallowed hard. “Ami came into my study with a hellish fever a while back.”

Xigon cocked his head.

“She couldn’t tell me straight what was wrong no matter how hard she tried. It was like her words were twisting between her mind and her mouth.” She shuddered at the memory. “She finally just screamed, help me. Then Magpie came out of seemingly nowhere to give Ami a hug, and she instantly quieted down, like…” Qila hated the very thought. “Like she was controlling Ami’s mind.”

“I’ve seen it too.” Xigon’s eyes widened under his goggles. “I see…”

His hands clenched and he looked her straight in the eyes, power radiating so intensely it felt like standing an inch from a fire. His breathing grew rapid and heavy.

She knew that look. It was the same look he’d have as he walked onto a battlefield. The look he’d had as he’d wandered from Kolo’s second ascension before returning with bloody hands. Not quite bloodlust, but something more deeply twisted.

Chills needled their way through her.

“Qila?”

She jolted at his voice. “What?”

“This sensation. It’s coming from the small room where Ami and Magpie have been living.” He stood up from his wheelchair and leaned over the table. “I’m going to investigate. It will most likely come to bloodshed. There’s something I’ll need to entrust to you.”

Qila got up and came to his side. “What would you have me do?”

He took a deep breath, then looked down at her with conviction. “Don’t let Valielit escape.”

She nodded.

He bowed slightly. “Thank you, i’iba.”

There was an address she hadn’t heard for ages. It hurt like being struck. “Don’t call me that.”

His eyes narrowed.

“I am not before you, Xigon,” she pressed. “Though…I understand. All this time, you’ve been doing exactly as I taught, so promise me, Xigon.” Qila looked up to meet his fierce eyes. “Promise me that what you’re about to do is of your own will.”

“You’re no longer in control.” His jaw clenched. “A pity. You were a more just tyrant.”

He took his crutches from the back of his chair and left her with those painful words alone.

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 60 [Valielit]

CW: graphic violence, gore

My goddess. My treasure. My prey. Mine. MINE!

She watched Kolo shove something into Ami's half-alive hand and heard her spew out some frantic plea to Xigon. Then she fled, and something deep inside both Magpie and Ami released its stranglehold.

"Valielit is eating me alive."

Strings undone. Valielit's head snapped up, waking with ecstatic fury from a two-hundred-year dream. A happy dream, it had been. But this new feeling, this long-suppressed vitality surging back, was the peak of all experience.

Xigon's voice interrupted her mind's rush. "Valielit is...?"

Oh, he knew far too much.

She threw herself at the tall man, and before he could fully grasp what was happening she dug her fingers under his goggles and into his eyes. That was where almost all his power was. Magpie knew that much.

His spidery hands seized her elbows as she shoved him backwards. They tumbled over Ami and into the wall.

"Magpie, stop!" Ami tried to grab her ankle. "He's going to kill you if you–"

"You'd love that, wouldn't you?" Magpie jeered. "It's what you wanted from him all this time. We both know that."

Xigon's grip tightened and his hands pulsated with thin threads of white light.

Before he could do anything, Valielit slammed his head between the wall and the floor. "No one should have said anything," she spat. "And no one is going to do anything."

Ami shrieked, but Xigon made no sound at all as Vali scored his eyes with her sharp nails, not even as blood dripped down his face like tears, leaving vivid red splotches on the floor — no, he remained as silent and unflinching as a dead thing. His silence irritated her. She knew he could feel it. Why wouldn't he yield?

A dull throb of violet lit his eyes as they filled with blood beneath her fingertips.

"You can't!" She hissed at him. "You can't do anything at all!"

Xigon's jaw clenched. His teeth bared slightly.

"You know why?" Valielit leaned in closer, breathing heavily. "Because you might fancy yourself the Iron God's hand, but I? I am his will."

"And...this." One of his still-glowing hands drifted to clamp down on top of hers. "This is my will."

There was a sound like the world exploding. A searing shear of light and black overtook her vision, but only for an instant. Next thing she knew, she watched herself fall backwards. She watched her left hand come detached from her body and burn up without leaving any ashes. Her left arm disintegrated up to the elbow in a mere fraction of a second.

Valielit's sensation returned in a blaze of unfathomable pain. The pain of part of herself coming completely undone. She lay there shrieking and laughing all at once as she realized what had happened.

Ami stirred next to her.

Xigon crawled to loom over them both, weeping blood without tears. "My will is always done."

Vali scrambled away from him. "Not today!"

His head snapped toward the sound of her movement. Even if he couldn't see, it didn't seem to hinder him as much as she'd hoped it would.

"Hey, what's going on?"

Another voice called from down the hall, followed by a sharp gasp and running footsteps.

Ami shot Valielit a knowing, pleading look. "Magpie, please. Have a heart, will you?"

She ignored her old worn-out host and turned to see who'd come to join them. She caught sight of Ido fleeing the scene.

"Ido, help me!" Magpie begged.

He stopped in his tracks.

Ami grabbed her by the ankle and pleaded again. Magpie gave her a hard kick in the face before crying out a second time. "Ido, please. They're hurting me."

Ido turned warily to glare over his shoulder. When he saw she was missing an arm, his eyes blew wide.

"They hurt you too. I know they did." She intoned her voice in exactly the way a holf might as she approached him. She dodged Xigon's hands as she passed him. "Can we run away?"

Ido turned fully toward her. "What?"

"Ido, don't listen to her." Xigon stumbled in the direction of their voices, barely able to hold his crutches. "She did all this. Get away from her!"

"Ido, don't listen to him." Valielit clutched the stump where her left arm had been and ran a few steps toward the boy. "He took my arm just like he took your old man!"

Xigon lunged like an animal from behind her, then dropped one crutch and swung an arm out to snatch her. Then he slammed her into the wall, knocking the wind out of her. "You dare bring him into this?" His voice rose to a genuine yell, one that made all of them jolt. "Really, nothing is sacred to you! No one could ever suffer enough to satisfy your sick yearnings!"

"Take my soul too, then." Valielit smiled wide, even knowing he wouldn't see it. "If you can. And hey, if you still let him feel anything, I'll tell Haode we said hello, how about that?"

Xigon's bleeding eyes flared violet. His hands trembled with more of the strange light that preceded his destruction. Valielit's heart jumped into her throat. No, she wasn't done yet!

So she gave him Kolo's voice. "Master, don't hurt my cousin!"

The confusion only lasted a split second, but it was enough. His grip slackened and Valielit threw herself down to avoid Ido's crack of lightning.

Xigon crumpled like a dropped puppet. Ami stirred and reached for him. Vali watched in confusion.

"Magpie." Ido's voice cracked. "What's happening?"

"Thank you." Valielit came up to him and smiled tearfully. "I knew I could rely on you."

He took one step back. Vali took a step forward and reached around to press her fingers into the back of his neck. Ido's eyes shot wide open to stare petrified into hers.

She gazed back with all the warmth he needed. "Hey there, Ido."

"H...hey?" Ido's lips trembled. Then his eyes darted erratically. "Hey, what are you?...agh!"

It only took a few seconds to snare his soul, small and needy as it was.

Before they moved, she tested the binding. "Why did Xigon tell you to get away from me?"

"Huh?" Ido blinked, then stared as if she'd spoken another language. "When did he say that?"

"Good." Vali smirked. Then she doubled over with a shriek as more pain shot through what remained of her left arm and a little more of it disintegrated.

Ido rushed to help her back up.

She accepted his aid and smiled weakly at him. Still the smile of a little girl tearing the legs off a silently screaming insect. No real joy behind it, only some unrelenting desire for dominion.

But above all else, she wanted her goddess.

With Ido in tow, she practically flew down to Styzia's bluehole. Wherever she'd charged off to, Kolo was waiting for her. She'd been waiting a long time, hadn't she?

But instead of crystalline water, there was solid, impenetrable ice.

"Just where are you trying to go, Magpie?" A harsh old woman's voice called down from the top of the stairs to the roof.

She played innocent for a moment. "Where's my cousin?"

"Beyond your reach," Qila snarled. "You'll never have her."

"All well and good." Valielit cocked her head. "So long as I can have all the rest of your babies."

Qila reached into her pocket.

"Mm-hm. And Xigon can't see right now," she added.

She pulled a grotesque-looking puppet out of her cloak.

"Nice. I remember your shadow monster thing." Vali waved to it mockingly. "But you can't fight me either. You know how I can mimic voices?"

"What about it?" Qila seethed.

"I'm not always just copying things I've heard." She tapped her foot excitedly. "I can make things up too. Ami never could've told you that, though. She never could've told you any of this because I wouldn't let her."

Qila threw her shadowy skeletal apparition to tower over Valielit. Its voice was a hideous layered roar. "You wouldn't dare–"

She gave the old master her beloved one's voice. "You have no power over me."

The puppet dropped from Qila's hand and rolled down a few steps. She stared dumbstruck, shuddering.

"Tell Sothyrion to open the blueholes before I have to hurt anyone else." Valielit shrugged. "Won't you?"

"Never." Qila's voice cracked.

"Well, I guess it's fine. You're all here with me." She clenched her remaining hand and sighed. "Let me know when you change your mind."

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 59 [Kolo]

Kolo bolted faster than she could think. She didn’t dare slow or look back. If she looked back, she’d have time to regret this. She didn’t have the luxury of thinking it through, not now.

If her hunch was true, Valielit could be after her any second now. That was good, right? She knew her cousin. She knew how to handle this. Right?

Damn it! Stop thinking and RUN!

Kolo plunged herself into Styzia’s bluehole.

She crashed ashore somewhere else entirely. A gray stony shore shrouded in mist.

Her thoughts jumped back to her comrades. Would Magpie hurt them? She hoped not. But hope wasn’t a strategy. She stared at the crystal-clear water and waited for her cousin. Surely she’d follow, right? Surely Kolo could get at least half a clue of what was going on.

Something stirred out on the water’s surface. Kolo’s eyes darted toward the motion. Two puffs like steam rose up with two long, toothy snouts.

The blind crocodile-looking dolphins she’d just read about. What timing. Even if they didn’t have eyes, she couldn’t help but feel watched. With a heavy shudder she turned and kept running.

Kolo made it as far as the tree line before an overwhelming sense of deja vu hit her. This place felt familiar. Too familiar for peace of mind, even if no one lived here anymore.

She sat down on a half-rotted log and rubbed sweat off her forehead. She tried to tell herself it could’ve been coincidental that this stretch of forest looked just like one she and Vali used to play in. How could she be certain she even remembered the old days right?

Kolo took a deep breath. The haze from the lake was creeping up into the woods now. Droplets condensed and then froze on the trees’ needles. She couldn’t resist reaching up and flicking a low-hanging branch just to watch the little beads of ice fly off. A small laugh tickled her nerves.

Valielit used to sit on a log like this and laugh at seemingly nothing. Sometimes for several minutes at a time before snapping back disoriented. Vali’s smile and laugh were infectious, but also empty and joyless, Kolo had long since realized. Like a bird obsessively preening itself naked.

Vali cried too – with just as little feeling and just as much contagion. That day – their last day together as children – she’d cried long and loud. Kolo pictured it vividly, as if she were right back in that moment.

Ami’s arrival in Howl Hollow had caused quite a ruckus immediately, given the usual lack of visitors.

“Is that our big cousin?” Kolo clutched Vali’s hand and looked up at their grandmother, more confused than sad. She hadn’t really known him, so there wasn’t much to mourn. Still, the body in Ami’s cart looked like an older male version of herself, visibly and viciously wounded by what her little mind could only imagine to be storybook monsters.

“What happened?” Grandmother growled at Ami. “How did our Khohet die? How could he?”

“He fought and he lost,” Ami answered. “And though he’d been after me for a long time, I took no vengeance when I found him wounded. I swear it. I treated him like any other patient. The least I can do now is return him to his family.”

Vali cried long and loud. Then she laughed, then cried some more. It sounded like something was twisting in her head, scrambling to break out. Kolo squeezed her cousin’s hand.

“Who defeated him?” Grandmother demanded. “And how do we avenge him?”

“That information will cost you,” said Ami.

“Cost us what?” The old woman practically spat with each word.

“Khohet had one last request.” Ami rested her hand on the dead man’s chest. “That I look out for his baby cousin full of our god’s power. The one all our fates depend on. The one so precious to you.”

Me?

Kolo’s hands clenched.

“She’s yours.” Grandmother yanked Valielit away from Kolo.

Both girls shrieked and tried to cling to each other. Kolo screamed her throat raw.

“Khohet’s defeat came at the hands of Master Xigon of Styzia and his newest pupil – a man by the name of Azvalath.”

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee

A child’s shriek and a shrill whistle like a steaming kettle.

Kolo snapped back to where she was and fell to her hands and knees on the ground. Nausea twisted her gut. She thought for sure she’d escaped. How could she run away from something and still come right back to it?

Her fingers dug through the snow and into the sickeningly warm fur beneath.

The creature slid out from under her and sent her tumbling into the brush as it stood and shook the forest floor off itself. And the baleful jaws of Slaaek slavered over her again.

She lay there still as stone, not daring to make a sound.

The nostrils huffed and drew her scent in. Then he flattened himself, pressing his monstrous face into the ground, as if bowing.

Did you not want to see that, i’iba?

Kolo tried to remember how to breathe.

You showed me the blue eye, Kolo. The great holf stood back up, but kept his head low and tufted ears flat. I never thought it would come from a tiny human hand.

Kolo tried to comprehend it all. When it sank in, her eyes widened. “You ascended?”

Slaaek’s eyes opened. Deep red and luminous. The eyes of a new Ferash Therall. A long droning sound rumbled from his bony chest.

“How are you here?” Kolo sat up. “And how are you talking to me?”

What comes from my mouth is a lullaby of wishes and lies. Slaaek’s mouth opened wide, revealing teeth as long as her arms. Our god has blessed me now to speak from my soul. I can speak the truth from there. One ear twitched. So from my soul I asked Sothyrion, please bring us together, my i’iba – one before me – and me. I want to know and love and curse her. But her blood, I swore not to taste.

His ear flattened again. He let out a long sigh that smelled of rotten flesh. Kolo gagged as she stood up. She tried to make herself look big – more for herself than for the beast in front of her. “Why show me that day?”

Know and love and curse you. Slaaek’s head twisted to look at her sideways. A lullaby of wishes for your heart before it stops. That is my prayer. Take from it not as you want, but as you need.

Kolo folded her arms. “Do you even know what you’re showing me?”

No, i’iba. Slaaek’s lips drew back. It’s never been for me to know. All I know is that I sing and the human dances to the tune.

Kolo locked eyes with the beast, with her reflection in his newly red gaze. “Then sing.”

[before Vali left, she told me]

“It’s all right.” Valielit hugged Kolo tight. “If I go with Ami, she won’t take you away.”

“It’s not all right!” Kolo clung to Vali. “Grandmother lied to Ami because she wants to get rid of you, that’s all.”

“Going with Ami will be so much fun.” Vali pulled back and grabbed Kolo’s hands. “She’ll love me no matter how much I mess her up.”

She smiled wide. Kolo saw her teeth were stained with blood. With a gasp, she looked down at her cousin’s fingers. Also bloody. There was blood all over her.

“Don’t worry, Kolo.” Vali put her fingers in her mouth and licked them. “It’s not mine.”

Kolo learned later where all that blood came from, when Grandmother found their big cousin’s body riddled with additional massive wounds, as if he’d been mauled by a mad dog. His lips had been torn back into a hideous grin.

No one ever did find his fingers.

Counted to zero. Hideous grin. One last taunt. And now, Kolo realized – a clue.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee

“Quiet.”

Slaaek closed his mouth.

“Smile.”

The holf tilted his head sideways again.

“Smile.” Kolo repeated the command louder. She pulled her lips back and up with her fingers. “Like this.”

Slaaek’s lips drew back in a snarl, then up. His face was doglike enough that the familiarity hit her cold.

“No wonder…she always seemed like such a puppy until she wasn’t.” She reached for her talisman, only to remember with a start that she’d given it up on a reckless bargain. Cold sweat ran down her neck. “That’s why she wanted me to take it off, isn’t it?”

Slaaek stayed still, straining to hold the unnatural grin.

“One more thing.” Kolo glared at the holf. “Why did you kill Dras?”

Who is Dras? The grin relaxed into a more curious expression.

“He was our kin under the Iron God.” Kolo clenched her hands. “Why kill your own kind?”

Unknowing, I did you a favor. Slaaek yawned, exposing his immense teeth once more. Though I only now understand it, i’iba. The deaths of our own are not a failure, but the ideal outcome.

“That’s nonsense!” Kolo raised her voice. “What kind of god would consider that an ideal outcome?”

Yours and mine. Slaaek lifted his head up toward the sky. Ours.

Wind swept his cryptic-colored fur as something distant caught his attention. A deep crackling sound carried on the wind, loud enough that Kolo felt it in her bones.

That sound. The great quaking of ice. Sothyrion is frightened. He tipped his muzzle down to stare wide-eyed at Kolo. He just sealed all of the blueholes.

Kolo shrieked. “What?”

We dwellers of the wild know the deep soul’s ways well. Either Sothyrion is frightened, Slaaek’s words sent a deep chill through her core. Or his mother commanded it. He can only hold the ice for so long, but for now, no one can pass through.

Kolo clutched her temples and shuddered. The abject horror of it left her speechless. She was stuck out here. And Valielit was stuck at Styzia.

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 58 [Ami]

Be nice.

Whatever did that mean, anyway?

Don’t think bad thoughts or you’ll do bad things.

Ami heard her own voice say those words and many more. But it wasn’t her, not really. But it was. Magpie –

Magpie was arguing with herself again. In both their voices, rattling angry words out like birdsong. Ami couldn’t move. She couldn’t make any sound. And she certainly couldn’t scream anything horrid again. All she could do was listen and wait for someone else to notice.

The blankets tied tight around her stifled what little breath she could force in. Her body was cold and shaky, her throat parched as the sheets soaked through with sickening warmth. She smelled blood. Her own blood. Magpie. Her own blood. What was the difference? Her most precious–

A new scent wafted in. Before Ami could fully register it, her shadow’s hand fell gently over her mouth. No force, but a clear message nonetheless.

And Ami could only choke on silent screams as Kolo and Magpie spoke like she wasn’t even there. And Kolo had no idea. How could she? It wasn’t as if Ami and Magpie would give her the truth. One of them couldn’t and one of them wouldn’t.

Her head felt full of cold sand. The voices in her ears softened. It was cold. It was heavy. It hurt. It hurt so much.

Magpie started shrieking. Ami could barely hear it. She could barely feel her noncompliant body being torn from its restraints. Her consciousness slipped further with each shallow frantic breath. But before she passed out fully, she grasped one thing with stark clarity.

Him.

Master?

.....

May the fate you feared above all elsebe kinder to youthan one more day.

After far too much hesitation, Ami had finally gone out and scratched that meager prayer into Haode’s stone.

Then she’d felt many things she’d long forgotten how to feel. And she’d felt them hideously.

Magpie hadn’t liked that.

…..

Ami’s eyes opened halfway and there he was.

Xigon’s gaze permeated her like light through glass. Stared straight through the rot he once wouldn’t even glance toward. His bare hands held tight to her mangled body, his power instilling profound calm in what should have been a violent moment.

Ami wondered, detached from all relevant sensation, whether he was about to take her soul. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. Perhaps he could be a gentler Destroyer than Kaosaan…

What am I even thinking?

Instinctive fear ripped through her already racing heart. Her mauled chest spasmed with a cough that made her taste iron. Now she didn’t even dare blink. Pathetic. Pathetic! To be just like her helpless patients at the end of the day? She couldn’t bear it.

Xigon’s thumb brushed across her cheek. Wiping away a tear she didn’t even know she’d shed. So much power in even his tiniest motions. How could it not be enough?

Had she really been searching in all the wrong places?

Another hand grabbed her numb fingers. A much smaller hand. Kolo’s voice barely broke through the haze. Ami heard something about learning the truth. Something about being unreasonable. Magpie. Valielit. A family heirloom. Grinner. Trust me. Trust me.

What?

How much time had even passed? Had she moved at all?

Kolo withdrew, leaving string tangled in Ami’s numb fingers. Ami managed to turn her head slightly, and she saw Kolo charging away like her life depended on it.

Magpie shrieked long and loud.

Ami’s hand clenched. Kolo’s talisman burned in her palm. A precious gift and a horrific gamble.

Kolo, what a wonder. What a fool.

With a sudden blaze of clarity, Ami lifted her head and spoke. Quietly, but still louder than she ever thought she could speak the words she had so desperately wanted to scream through the gags Magpie had strung through her so tight.

“Valielit is eating me alive.”

Ami watched Xigon’s eyes widen. She saw the question leave his mouth. Then she watched, feeling detached from it all, as her precious shadow lunged at the master of Styzia, sharp little nails going straight for his eyes.