lucideemo

[lucideemo]

too cute

holding hands with them.

contents; cloying, tooth-rotting fluff. goes well with coffee to cleanse the palate. there might be one itty-bitty mention of marineford. 🎀 

ft. east blue 5

masterlist

⋆ ˚｡༄ luffy 

the boldest one out there. if he feels like taking you by the hand, he’ll go ahead and do it, no matter the time or place. like everything about him, luffy won’t be any subtle when holding your hand either, swinging it with the widest smile, whistling a merry tune as you head your way. his hands may feel a little sticky from whatever he’s eaten at the time, but there’s also a comforting warmth to them sending butterflies to your stomach. when he holds your hand, he does it tightly, assertively, like he has never ever doubted his decision to let you enter his life.  

sometimes the thought of having a special someone to explore new places with has him so excited that he just grabs you by the wrist, or cups his hand around yours. he will lightly squeeze your palm with his thumb each time he wants to grab your attention to something he knows will make you smile, laugh, or both. at least once he tried to see how far his hand could bend from yours (pretty far, it’s all rubber after all). 

in a dangerous situation, a fight especially, there will be times when he will unconsciously search for your hand, an unsaid promise that he won’t lose. he will also do it as a way to assure himself that you’re still there, and you’re safe, a habit that might have something to do with marineford but he hadn’t realised he picked up until meeting you. he can’t afford to lose you, and feeling your hand into his is the one certainty that he's grown stronger and capable of protecting his dearest ones.

⋆ ˚｡༄ zoro

even before it became clear to you that what you’re having breaks the norms of a friendship, it had been a habit to sunbathe together on the ship's deck. his lids would slowly fall close, tanned skin sliced in the light, hair ruffled by the breeze, and you would watch him fade into a distant universe as sleep took you over. 

you can’t tell if the first time it happened was more than the mere remembrance of a dream, but what’s certain is that soon enough you started to fall asleep to the peaceful sensation of his fingertips reaching yours, closer and closer each time, until one day you woke up to find your hand completely clasped in his. your mouth hitched into a small smile, wondering if this had ever happened before, or it was simply a moment you would forget before happening a second time. even now, you still find yourselves interlocking fingers in your sleep. he also likes to drape an arm over your shoulder, taking hold of your hand as he does, especially before falling asleep together. 

his hands are roughed up and battered from swordfighting; however they feel like velvet as they touch you, at first watchfully and only for a few fleeting seconds, and then with more certainty. he may still show some signs of hesitation when it comes to holding hands in plain sight, but he will gladly accept it if you’re the initiator. your hands will often find each other under tables, on his lap, around a bottle of booze if the two of you are out drinking. 

⋆ ˚｡༄ nami

from time to time she may come up with different excuses for holding your hand. at first, it was when she offered to help you carry your shopping bag, “i left my perfume in there, i can’t afford to lose it because you were careless with the loot.” your fingers touched, and she left them there for a second, the realisation that she could be affectionate with you without feeling vulnerable rushing to her head like a shot of rum.

soon after you would start to notice her fingertips linger on several occasions. passing the sugar, applying sunscreen, asking you to lay out some maps for her. her skin is smooth and laced with the smell of tangerines and coconut milk. extremely well-kept. if she knows you’re reaching a more perilous portion of the sea (which luffy will insist on crossing), nami will take you by the hand, and you will estimate how scared she is by the tightness of her grip. 

definitely a fan of the one-finger hold. whenever the crew is free to take a breather and wander about a new island, nami will cheerfully jump out of the ship and offer you her arm, the space between you remaining roped along the way by nothing more but your tangled pinkies. at the dinner table, your fingers will often stay linked in the same way, a casual, subtle gesture, but a reminder that you will always have each other’s backs. 

⋆ ˚｡༄ usopp

another one to hold your hand if the seas you’re going across are overfilled with monsters, but unlike nami, god usopp will do it to show off his bravery. he’s there to protect you, he goes on and on, and usually this will be accompanied by a story of his earliest travels on the sea. and yet, one questionable sound is all it takes for him to leap into your arms, later excused as his way to tell you that there once was this gruesome pirate lord who almost fell overboard in fear, but luckily he was there to catch them. captain usopp is nothing but a merciful soul.

extremely open and affectionate with his partner. when it comes to holding your hand, he won’t hesitate to do it in front of everyone so they all see he could pull someone as awesome as you. when he’s testing a new weapon, he loves it when you come from behind and place your hands on top of his, guiding each other towards your target. i feel that, with usopp, there will be plenty of moments where your hands will just top each other, during dinner or a party or simply while assisting him in the workshop. 

speaking of which. he works with his hands a lot, so they may catch a certain metallic scent, scarce traces of gunpowder under his nails and into his skin. but each time you end up cuddling under the stars and his hands tangle with yours, you begin to feel even more comforted since getting to notice these little things about him means you couldn’t be any closer. 

⋆ ˚｡༄ sanji

if it isn’t the ultimate sucker for hand-holding. believe it or not, to him this pretty much seals the status of your relationship, so at the very beginning when things were rather uncertain between you, his worst nightmare would have been to initiate such an intimate gesture and be rejected. that was also around the time you started to do grocery shopping together, two forms pushing past the lively crowds, taking the moment to enjoy each other’s company somewhere away from the crew. 

sanji jolted when he felt the back of your hands brushing against each other, and then your forefinger coiling around his own, an open invite that paused the world for him for a couple of seconds. loosening the knot of his tie, he took your hand in his, fingers eagerly interlacing into a most soothing grip. ever since your relationship became established, you’ve come to notice that he often attempts to hold your hand, and each time he finds it, it’s a promise that you will always have his full and irrevocable attention. 

his hands carry the smell of the cigarettes he smokes, combined with that of some herbs he’s used in the kitchen, and seafood at worst times. they are smooth like silk when wrapped around yours, and emanate warmth each time he gently starts to stroke the skin with his thumb. he’d hold hands with you pretty much anywhere, but the times he feels the most relaxed are at the railing of the ship, during a cigarette break, or while walking behind the rest, leaving the impression of a freshly married couple on their honeymoon. 

[lucideemo]

THIS !!

not even fanfics helping everything is smut nowadays like DAMN IM NOT IN THE DAMN MOOD

[lucideemo]

im scared

Warmth

Yandere Shanks x gn reader drabble | AO3

Warnings: Not much, typical yandere. SFW. He's forcing you to cuddle. Vague, short.

Trying to practice writing something small without turning it into a multi-chapter ordeal lol

How? just... How? You think, as an arm wraps around your waist, stubble ghosting against the ticklish crook of your neck.

You had failed to get away once before. Packed what little was yours and sneaked off after the others had piled out. And on your brief jaunt ashore, you caught the attention of some Marines. And discovered you had a bounty.

As one of the Red-Haired Pirates.

But how? Why? Did they seriously think you were a crewmate, proper? You remember the cold look the Marine had given you, remembered the desperate tears welling up as you tried to tell him "no, it's a mistake sir, I'm not a pirate, please-"

-And then an unseen force crushed the air from your lungs, forcing you down and dunking you into the realm of unconsciousness.

You woke up back in his bed.

This time, you thought it would be different. You'd be smarter. You were despondent but obedient for a week, putting up with the increased affection, and staying in the cabin when they docked without being told to do so. Tonight, they were docked and partying- which meant they'd be blackout drunk. The island had no marine presence. So painfully early in the morning, you gathered your things once again, tip-toeing around the drunk, sleeping horde littered across the deck. You spotted Shanks quickly- sprawled out and snoring loudly. Good. You turn, and scurry for the gangway. You weren't sure what you would do, but you'd figure something out...

At least you thought so, until suddenly an arm shot out to pull you against the looming presence of your captor. "And just what are you doing..?" He murmurs into your neck, the air suddenly pulsing with a harsh, unrelenting weight.

"I-I..." You stutter out, but no explanation makes it out of your mouth. You sniffle, and he sighs, spinning you around to look at your face. "Please, Shanks..." your voice is thick in your throat, and you don't meet his eyes, your own downcast as you fidget with your bag.

He's quiet for a moment before hoisting you up and over his shoulder like it's nothing. And to him, you're sure it is. You lay there limply, knowing from experience that struggling against him will get you nowhere. "You must be awfully tired to attempt something so silly, hmm?" he chides softly, pushing open the deckhouse doorway with a swift hip-check. Your fingers find themselves entangled in the thick fabric of his cloak. "Let's go lie down together, then."

"Sorry..." You whisper.

"Oh, I know, honey. I just wish it was for the right reasons- but I'll take what I can get." You stiffen, tears beading in your eyes as he makes his way to his quarters.

Our quarters, as he frequently corrects you, but you'll never say it.

Another doorway, and you're there- the dim cabin with only a thin strip of early morning light peaking through the shuddered windows. He pads across the floor, pulling his boots off with his feet- toe pressed against heel, then pull up. He doesn't bother changing out of anything else, just dropping you onto the plush bedding without ceremony. He pats a bare strip of sheet between the pillows and blankets, and you know the gesture- you wordlessly scoot toward the headboard and curl up so he can pull up the blankets and slip underneath. You've only just stretched out again when his arm snakes over and around you, pulling you firmly against his toned chest. "Comfortable?" He asks, voice still with that little groggy burr to it. His hand finds where you've curled your arms in front of you, gently taking a wrist and sliding upward to lace his fingers between yours.

"Yeah..." you mutter, and it's true. Heat quickly seeps into the little cavern beneath the down-stuffed comforters, and you can feel the constant rhythm of his heartbeat where his chest presses against your back. The mattress itself is firm but soft, the smooth sheets and pillowcases almost magically cool despite the soothing warmth of everything else.

Shanks presses a kiss to the back of your head. "Mmm. That's good," he croons into your hair. "Must've been neglecting you, if you're trying to sneak away again, hmm?" You stiffen again. Neglecting? If anything, the man damn near smothers you. It's so hard to get a damn couple of minutes alone, outside the bathroom. "You've been so good for so long," he continues, voice dripping with condescension. "What's going on, sweetheart..?"

You shudder, the comforting warmth suddenly suffocating. His thumb rubs circles on the back of your hand. "I just..." A sniffle. A deep, trembling breath. Shanks squeezes your hand, gently- but the latent strength in his fingers alone is horribly apparent, and does little to soothe you. "... I didn't want... to just g-give up. Had to prove that I hadn't," you force out. "All this pirate talk about the strength of one's will, I just-"

"-Wanted to prove yourself," He finishes for you, voice low and... thoughtful, almost. "Not to me, but for yourself. I can hardly fault you for that." You blink. His fingers detangle themselves from yours, hand moving upwards to brush away your tears. "As much as I love you, and as much as I want you to want this, it's... admirable, from someone like you." You curl in on yourself. Someone weak, you think. Acts of aggression or defiance among pirates are rarely left unmet by violence. You knew Shanks was one to believe in the importance of sending a message- you'd seen the aftermath before. Your resistance is novel, endearing even, you think- because even if persistent it will never, ever pose a true challenge to him. It's a talent how he can praise you and gut you with his words in the same effortless breath.

"Oh," is all you say, before going quiet, and trying to find peace in the warmth again.

[lucideemo]

me after saying i’d get tasks done but i’ve just been reading fanfiction for the past 3 hours:

[lucideemo]

#bsdbeast #dazai

BSD Theory: What is Dazai?

With the release of Storm Bringer, Asagiri has given us a lot more insight into the nature of abilities, their limits, how they interact with one another, and the creation of singularities. And although Dazai wasn’t the main focus of the story, it may have revealed a lot more about him than it would seem at first glance. More specifically: that the name of his ability, “No Longer Human”, may be a lot more literal than we previously thought.

Spoilers for Storm Bringer, 55 Minutes, and Dead Apple under the cut

Keep reading

[lucideemo]

The abyss stares back

[lucideemo]

[ Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun: Ch.94 ]

Please enjoy our translation of chapter 94, Dawn (Part 2)! It’s also available to read on Mangadex!

Keep reading

[lucideemo]

| Hush, my love

Character(s): Jun Wu

TW: Yandere and obsessive behaviour, Stockholm syndrome kind of except you’re aware that it’s happening (?), kidnapping/ forced isolation, conditioning, minor spoilers

Genre: Angst/yandere fic

Notes: Gender neutral reader || I wasn’t supposed to start my Jun Wu spam with one of my slightly fucked up pieces but I had so many fluff pieces that I forgot about all of the horrors and needed a reminder || For @edensrose without whom I would have kept gatekeeping these forever and ever

There’s no reason for you to look up at the sound of the wall sliding out of place; there’s only one person who even knew that it was hollow in the first place. The light that filtered in almost hurt. You must have been here for a while. It felt like it had been. Your muscles ached like it had been. When was the last time that you moved?

“Have you learnt your lesson now?” He’s so close. You could stand up and reach out to him, you could hold him, hug him; he was so, so close but you needed him to be closer, to please, please, be closer so that you could reach out to him without fear that he would escape your grasp. He did that sometimes, came close enough to touch and then deny you of him. It always hurt but he would hold you when you cried afterwards, sighing indulgently as though you didn’t deserve his comfort. Maybe you didn’t. Not when you acted before he let you. That was why you would get left here. Failing to think before you acted.

Your lip trembled as you nodded, head still down and eyes trained on the now slightly illuminated floor. You couldn’t trust that you wouldn’t start begging for him to stay the moment that you opened your mouth, looked up to see him, felt him close enough to you to touch.

How long had he left you in this room this time? Days, maybe? Weeks? It was dark and there weren’t any windows. The walls were thicker than one would think as well. You couldn’t see the sun to be able to tell what day it was nor hear the goings on outside to keep track of the time. You’d long since gotten used to the feeling of hunger and dehydration and your sleep patterns were irregular regardless so they weren’t reliable indications of how long it had been. None of them would kill you regardless, just hurt. You could vaguely recall the small shrine to you that Jun Wu would light incense to just before he would leave you here.

You looked more closely at the floor. It was still the pale white that it had been the last time Jun Wu had visited but it was slightly greyed with a layer of dust.

You clenched your fists, resolutely keeping them on your lap as the thought of brushing your finger across the floor to see how thick the dust had gotten briefly crossed your mind. You had to keep yourself still for now or he would leave. It didn’t matter that you could feel your nails digging into your skin - when did they get long enough to do that?

“Oh, my poor [Name].” His tone made a choked sob rip from your throat before you could catch yourself, eyes shutting quickly so that you could ground yourself. The sound scratches against your throat and it hurts. How long has your voice gone unused?

He sounded so soft. He sounded like he cared, like he was sorry. Like leaving you in here alone hurt him as much as it did you. Maybe it did. Maybe that would make him less willing to leave you again.

You felt more than heard the brush of fabric as he moved, the dust shifting with each step - towards you, you’d noted - and you were holding on so well but then he crouched down next to you and his hand cradled your cheek so gently and you broke.

Hands trembling so badly that you could see it plain as day even in the dim lighting as they reached out to him in a desperate motion, you clung to him like he was the only thing keeping you alive, collapsing into his arms with what was practically the wail of an animal dying.

Jun Wu’s voice was the only thing that you registered amongst your incoherent sobbing, your pleading for him to forgive you, to know that you were sorry, so, so sorry, to please, please, please not leave because you were so lonely and scared here.

His gentle shushing only had you sobbing harder as his arms wrapped around you, pulling you onto his lap. He rocked you back and forth with him like a child, the hand on your cheek directing your face so that he could press a kiss against your forehead and then rest his lips there as he murmured reassurances to you.

“It’s alright, I have you now.”

Tears continued to stream down your face and your body shook with each sob as you felt your energy disappearing with his every touch as you gave in to his whispered words. He was lying, you knew he was lying and that every word that fell from his lips was nothing but a honeyed trap for you to get stuck within again and again and again, but how could you care when he sounded so sincere? What did it matter when he was holding you like you were more fragile than glass?

You knew what he was doing. You knew that he was just doing this to be able to take away your spiritual energy and reassure himself that he was stronger, to keep you down so that you wouldn’t act out again because he hated it, he hated the defiance he would see from you more than anything - but you couldn't bring yourself to care. You’d seen it happen before, he wouldn’t set aside his ambitions and fears even for those who he claimed to care about the most, for innocents, for children, for Xie Lian, for you.

And he was good at it. He was so horribly capable of ruining you and breaking you down so that you had nothing but him and you would always be left in the same state by the end of it.

You were so lonely, so, so scared of being left in this dark room all alone again and he was there offering you the human contact that you had been begging for. And you should have hated it. You should have pushed him away and left the room and never come back to the heavens. But you needed it so, so badly.

And he knew it. He knew you needed him like you needed air in these moments and there was nothing you could do to change that. And you didn’t want to. Not if it meant that he would keep holding you.

“You know I hate doing this.” His lips brushed against your cheeks, under your eyes - so reverently kissing your tears away that that it almost had you braking down all over again when your cries had only just quietened down to shaky breaths and hiccups.

A weak hum is all you can manage in response.

And then he so carefully gathers you into his arms and what are you supposed to do other than melt into his hold. His lack of a heartbeat doesn’t startle you the way that it did years ago and the cold of his hands doesn’t feel off putting anymore. All you know is the comfort of that all encompassing embrace.

And you give in to it. As you know that you will again, and again, and again.

Do not repost, edit or claim. Only reblog 🌸

[lucideemo]

— 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐒𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝙓𝙞𝙚 𝙇𝙞𝙖𝙣 & 𝙃𝙪𝙖 𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙣𝙜)

ᡴꪫ ﾟ. 𓂃𝙎𝙮𝙣𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙨 You like being with Xie Lian, and when San Lang joined you had no problems with him either. You love their natural affection…

B̴̰̼̤̄͋̽̆͝ų̷̤̫͙͉͈́̓ͅt̵̯̬͌̿̎̽̉ ̵͎͈̯̓͐̀͘͝s̷̡͖͚̘͓͙̹̰̖̈́o̸̪̞̹̞̼̥̮̮̊̃̈́̎́̾̕͘͜͝m̶͚̐̉͑́͗̕͜͠ͅé̴̫͓̥̈́͗̈́̒ͅt̷͚̟̲̻̜̙̾̚i̷̢̗̗͈̩͚͆̍m̴͙̼͉̻̗̻̬̿̓̀̆͘ͅe̴̡̧͉͔̲͔̫̻͑̋̀́̈̀̌̈́̚s̵̢̫̟̳̩̲̟͆̏̆̃̄̿͝ ̴̤̘͉̻̮͈̿̀̐̄͒̃͝į̴̫͔̫̠̌͐̚t̸̰̔̋̀̾͐’̴̢̦̥͓̯̺͖̈́̓̒ś̴̨͇̣̼͑̀̉͛̎̏͠ ̸̤̺̼̞̠̖̃̋͗̄̀͝š̸̙̼̐̉̎͗͘u̶͍̞͖͒̈̅̔̒̍͘͜f̵̨̝̳̻̪̫̫͈͎̑̏̎̍̈͒f̵̞͇̥͖̥̹̳̹͐͐̌̈́̽͝o̸̡̤̙̙̗̤̦͙̿́̀͐̾͠c̵̨̹̔͜ȃ̶̛̱̜̗͍̒̌̈́̿́t̸̛͎̘͕̤̜̟̎̐i̷̖͓͖͔̭̥̒̆͂́̚͘͘ͅn̵̛̯̬͎̭͐̊̋̏g̸͓͍͚̦̻̳͑.̵͙̖̰͊̉ ̶̲͉̘̆̋̀̆̓

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, codependency, possessive behavior, biting, blood tasting, sleep watching, amnesiac!reader, gn!reader, hybrid au, some animalistic behavior, maybe poor grammar.

𝘼/𝙉 This is a warmup I made when I needed to take a pause from my jjk projects! Also deciding to post this while I wait for my poll to end!౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

YOU’VE only met Xiè Lián a month ago, but he is a humble man, perhaps the most humble man you’ve ever met in your years of living.

And despite only knowing him for such a little amount of time, there’s this huge sense of familiarity whenever you’re together.

He’s so kind, too kind almost, and submissive, but not in a completely bad way. It just seems that he’s too willing to let others walk all over him sometimes.

But you don’t regret befriending him. He’s as sweet as can be and your wonderful savior, his only want when you asked how you can repay him is your e̶t̶e̶r̶n̶a̶l̶ friendship.

You two were lonely souls wondering the earth so it’s natural that you remained at each other’s sides, helping him collect scraps.

While staying with him, you’ve noticed the ferret’s need for physical touch and aggressive play, which you grant because how could you not? You owe him a lot and you’re touch starved yourself.

B̶u̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶i̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶p̶l̶a̶y̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶i̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶ ̶a̶g̶g̶r̶e̶s̶s̶i̶v̶e̶,̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶b̶i̶t̶e̶s̶ ̶d̶r̶a̶w̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶b̶l̶o̶o̶d̶,̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶X̶i̶è̶ ̶L̶i̶á̶n̶ ̶h̶a̶p̶p̶i̶l̶y̶ ̶l̶i̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶d̶o̶w̶n̶.̶

But it’s okay! That’s just his nature!

There was one time he had to disappear for a moment, stating that it’s just some business to help innocent people from a ghost problem and left you at an inn for the time being.

You missed him,b̶u̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶d̶e̶n̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶e̶n̶j̶o̶y̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶p̶a̶c̶e̶.̶ ̶

But he soon came back and you two now had a place to live at for once! It’s a shabby shrine, but both of you put your care and hard work to make it a home.

The bed is a simple straw mat on the hard floor but the comfort of each other’s arms and warmth make up for it!

B̶u̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶i̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶h̶u̶g̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶i̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶ ̶t̶i̶g̶h̶t̶,̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶ ̶p̶o̶s̶s̶e̶s̶s̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶m̶o̶s̶t̶.̶ ̶

Sleeping together is a joy though!

And things get more interesting when a lone fox joins the mix.

His name is Sān Láng, and Xiè Lián had brought him over one night and offered your collective space to him since he had no place to go.

He’s a charming young man with a mysterious aura, giving answers but becomes a bit elusive when it’s direct questions about him. He’s far more interested in getting to know you and Xiè Lián though, wanting the both of you to lay yourselves bare to him.

But he quickly becomes close to you both, and you become aware that he’s just as clingy as the ferret.

The bed situation is even more cramped, but as long as you were all touching all was fine!

S̶o̶m̶e̶t̶i̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶s̶w̶e̶a̶r̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶’̶r̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶w̶a̶t̶c̶h̶e̶d̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶’̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶e̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶f̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶l̶e̶e̶p̶s̶ ̶e̶m̶b̶r̶a̶c̶e̶,̶ ̶X̶i̶è̶ ̶L̶i̶á̶n̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶S̶ā̶n̶ ̶L̶á̶n̶g̶’̶s̶ ̶b̶r̶e̶a̶t̶h̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶s̶u̶f̶f̶o̶c̶a̶t̶i̶n̶g̶,̶ ̶i̶m̶p̶r̶i̶n̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶s̶k̶i̶n̶.̶

Sān Láng likes to watch you and Xiè Lián, especially when you’re playing, but he never gets in the mix until he’s invited, and you can see the pure delight in his eyes when asked.

But you almost always end up on your back, overpowered and vulnerable to them both.

L̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶p̶e̶r̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶y̶.̶

But unfortunately, things get weird when Nán Fēng, a dog, and Fú Yáo, a cat, show up at the door.

The way those two grow so pale when they look at you…

And how tight Xiè Lián holds your shoulders…

How Sān Láng’s voice gets unusually more sharper…

There’s more to what’s going on.

[lucideemo]

Trigger Warning! Yandere Behavior! Forced Marriage! Manipulation!

Kamisato Ayato | Unedited | 2.6k Words | Very Badly Written

Ayato is, what you would call, the perfect husband. He was the ideal, the type you dreamed of as a child when other men hadn't yet ruined your expectations. He was kind, gentle and was loved by all those around you. Whether it be your parents or your closest friends. Sometimes you wondered if you truly deserved him.

You trusted Ayato, often more than you did yourself. But at times, that trust you thought indisoluble wavered, even if just a bit. Despite telling yourself you were overthinking, you just couldn't shake the feeling of something… unsettling, for no better way to put it, happening behind your back.

"I'm home." Your husband announced, entering the living room where you were, putting his coat to the side as he rushed to give you a chaste kiss on the cheek, enveloping you with his arms. It was a routine at this point, since you agreed to leave your job it had become a common occurrence for him to shower you with affection the moment you were within a certain radius of him. Instead of being greeted by an empty home and a text telling him to not wait for you, he was met with his lovely wife. He just couldn't help but want to smother her in every last bit of love he had, or so he would say.

And while usually you'd revell in his affection, this time around you couldn't help but notice a faint brown stain on his collar, the white of the otherwise pristine cotton garment contrasting with the stain.

You'd convinced yourself it was just a normal stain. That you were just overreacting, nothing strange. And despite the fact that no matter how much you washed that shirt it never came off, you simply looked past it.

Case closed, right? How you wished that was the end of it. Isolated incidents like that one, far spaced enough to brush off as mere coincidences but enough to bring back thoughts you had long put away. Doubts that were so painstakingly buried resurfaced again, constantly playing at the back of your mind.

Small stains, as if he had brushed past his shirt with hands dipped in wet paint, thin cuts and at times, mild bruises.

You lived in a far more isolated area, surrounded by a thick forest and empty fields from all sides, the closest neighbor a good few miles away and it didn’t help seeing him slip away in the early hours of the morning, long before you were meant to be awake, to go on walks with only the premature rays of the sunrise as his guide.

Perhaps it was because of your paranoia that you started paying more attention to him, to the way he'd stare down at his plate when he had to eat a food he didn't quite fancy, the small habits he had, the way his lips curved to form a smile compared to the one he had when with people he disliked, everything, no matter how minor it seemed.

Whenever you gave yourself a feasible explanation for his actions he'd go and do something else. Nothing noticeable enough to have caused a ruckus, to have warranted your suspicion but enough for your keen eye to discern. At times you thought you were merely jumping to conclusions, that your thoughts were mere attempts to find fault in your husband.

So you tried to confide in your closest friends, those who had met Ayato, who had known him for almost as long as you.

“At times I feel like I’m overreacting—I know it’s strange, but things keep happening and I, I just don’t know anymore…”

They denounced you. Ayato couldn’t do such a thing, he’s far too kind, for his own wife to suspect him, poor man.

‘Ayato wouldn’t even hurt a fly’ and similar comments defending his innocence, some claiming you read too many strange novels and others digging out your old insecurities, reminding you of how good your husband is, far too good for someone like you.

You felt like the worst wife—no, the worst person alive. To have an inferiority complex, to your own husband, to the man that loved you through sickness and through health, so again, you tried to put those thoughts to the side, told yourself that it had all been naught but a product of your imagination.

“Ayato, isn’t it adorable?” You mused, fawning over the stray cat that latched itself to your side.

“Hmm…” Your husband said in a dismissing tone, as he stood behind you. Perhaps that’s when it was cemented in your mind, that something was truly amiss. When you turned to him and saw his face, if only for a fraction of a second, you were reminded of an all too familiar expression, one that haunted your thoughts at the start of your marriage. One that you convinced yourself, that just like all your recent fears, was something you were simply imagining as time took its course.

“[name]? Is something wrong?” He asked, looking at you in worry. Your complexion had turned pale as you simply remained there crouched with a blank expression on your face, his brows were knitted just slightly, no one would think he could make such terrifying faces with features as refined as his.

A few moments of awkward silence passed before you came out of your bewildered state.

“Ah… I’m sorry Ayato…I spaced out for a second.” You brushed off, trying not to alarm your husband any further, though, unfortunately for you, your absent mindedness didn’t go unnoticed. Ayato was quick to catch on, he had seen the way your eyes traveled to the new stain he cursed himself for leaving on his clothes, or the injuries he had hoped you wouldn’t notice for your own good. He could only pray you didn’t take any drastic actions that have him force his hand, the last thing the male would want is for you to look at him with contempt.

But unfortunately, it became evident that you were uncomfortable with him after that. Shuddering at the mere mention of being in close proximity to him, your eyes incapable of meeting his own without them being drowned in suspicion and doubt. You knew something was amiss, what it was you had yet to find out but you knew for sure that these events weren’t mere coincidences. That expression your husband had helped resurface much more than fear inside of you, it brought back memories you had convinced yourself weren’t there along with it. Emotions you had sworn to leave behind you.

Memories of when you first ‘met’.

/

Ayato has always been the antithesis to you. If he was perfect then you were flawed in every sense. He had it all, wealth, status, intelligence. He lacked nothing and yet still vied for more whilst you were left barely grappling what you had, unable to even graze the heights he so effortlessly stood at. This became increasingly evident as the year went on, every test result ended the same, with your name below only his, every time some ranking based event happened, every single time.

Your parents had always placed a great importance into education, something that since the male’s appearance had started to weigh down on you like a burden. As you heard more comments emphasizing his talent, more remarks about how much greater he is, how pitiful you were.

Perhaps that’s why you stepped down on your own volition from the student council president candidate position, you couldn’t compete with Ayato, you wouldn’t stand a chance. Once again stuck as someone inferior to him, Vice President, while not bad by any means, continued being lesser to Ayato.

But despite the frustration you felt at the constant comparison, you never directed your hatred towards Ayato, after all, it wasn’t his fault. You never hated him, not until you were forced to work under him, that is. At first, he was kind to you, just as he was to all others around you. Never leaving his work for others to do and always respectful.

Ayato had a perfect college life perfectly planned and carefully crafted to fit his ideal and all that was left to mark the final check off his list was a girlfriend, an innocent love story to gush over. And who could be a better candidate than his lovely Vice President? So diligent and cute. You were popular in your own right as well, you’d be the perfect person, he just has to time it right.

And so he did, by the time he stood in front of you, you had already been reduced to a fraction of your old self. Your eyes no longer shine brightly with hope as they used to, nor did you simply brush off every loss—vowing to work harder the next time as you used to, you weren’t bursting with overconfidence any more.

“You….what?” He couldn’t help but admit how cute you looked all confused at his words.

“I like you, [name].” Ayato simply repeated as a smile graced his features. Everything was perfect, from the cherry blossoms gently carried by the wind, the onslaught of onlookers that wouldn’t relent until you said yes, nothing could go wrong.

You could vividly remember the feeling of your heart sinking to your stomach. A shiver ran through your back as you imagined what would happen if you rejected him. As if he had not caused you enough problems already. As if your own friends hadn’t already turned against you in a heart in his defense the moment you voiced your thoughts. Everything from your first meeting in front of the results board to now had built up to this point, each event adding another shackle to you who was once a free spirit.

That’s when you first saw it, what now you knew was his true face, not the facade he so painstakingly crafted. The way his eyes looked down at you, daring you to utter anything beyond a single yes. You didn’t dare look him in the eye again.

“Come now, don’t leave me hanging. Will you go out with me, hmm [name]?” He called your name so gently, as if he hadn't looked at you as if you were the most pathetic existence in the world, as if he didn’t know what he was doing, and wasn't aware of every leering eye surrounding you two. And even if he wasn’t, you most certainly were aware of how everyone in that vicinity was solely focused on you two, waiting to hear your answer, already having decided on the topic for their next gatherings.

“Y-yes…” you muttered under your breath and while some would expect you to be more enthusiastic, it was enough to bring a smile to Ayato’s face as he was quick to pull you into an embrace. You were never able to fully process everything that happened afterwards. Not when things were moving so fast and Ayato seemed to adamant on having everything his way. No one seemed to mind it though, no one but you it seems. You parents were quick to accept him, you commended him for that as at times, it felt like he was more their child than you. Every theme you two fought or argued, it was never for debate who was at fault but you knew deep down that your parents were convinced it was always your fault, Ayato could never. It would always end with them taking you back to him.

Eventually he convinced them to let him marry you, not that it took much convincing on his end. It seemed like the entire world was in his favour and you were the only one in the wrong. Expressing your distaste only made those close to you vilify you without a second thought. It’s as if he took everything from you and now he would take you as well. You never thought your footsteps would feel so heavy as you walked down the aisle, desperate to delay the inevitable even if just for a bit. Every time you inched closer to the altar, it felt as if another shackle tied itself to you, cementing your fate as his.

Your mind wandered off again as he recited his vows. You hadn’t noticed until now how handsome he looked in his suit, how eye catching he looked. In comparison, you seemed quite dull, not nearly as good as him at least. Maybe if the man standing next to you was more normal, more plain looking, fitting of you, maybe then you could shine on such a day as well. But here you seemed as little more than a side piece to make his side look a little less empty, a little less lonely.

“Do you, [name], take this man as your lawfully wedded husband?”

You almost felt compelled to say no, like you should’ve all that time ago when he first asked you out. Maybe you would’ve had the grip he had on his hands not been akin to a vice, threatening to break your hand if any more pressure was applied, had the look in his eyes not looked so similar to the one you saw that day, the one that vividly replayed in the back of your mind whenever you were with him. Had he not looked so ready to put you through hell perhaps you would’ve said no.

\

Now that you looked back on everything, maybe you were right to be suspicious of him. At least that’s what you told yourself as you rummaged through his desk. He always kept the drawers under it locked but it wasn’t all that hard to break through them with a hair pin and some minutes spent on the verge of screaming from frustration. However you found nothing out of the ordinary beside a picture, it looked to have been taken discreetly as the angle was strange and resolution blurry at most but the face was still clearly visible. It was a man, he looked much older than both you and your husband and you didn’t ever recall seeing him in Ayato’s inner circle.

Despite your efforts, you found nothing incriminating, not enough to explain your husband's strange quirks so you put everything back in its place, locked all drawers and made sure no trace was left of what you had done that day. It was hard to continue living with him, to look him in the eye despite everything that was going on in your head and you’d have to do just that. You’d have to continue waking up to him sprawled next to you and spend your day in a house that had nothing but traces of him and go to sleep next to him every night and act like nothing was wrong.

It was during one of these instances that you two were sharing a meal, listening to Ayato talk about his day and all the new projects he’d be working on when all your suspicions were confirmed. You were uninterested in both your husbands talking and the news playing in the background, zoned out as you looked at the food on your plate when the news announced a murder. Nothing new, not until you saw the face of the man that was found dead, the cutlery in your hands dropping to the floor as you could only look at your husband in blatant fear. You weren’t crazy, no, it was him all along.

In hindsight maybe it would’ve been smarter to conceal your shock but there was no going back now as he stared into your soul with a smile you knew meant anything but well.

Masterlist

[lucideemo]

Waking Up A Lying Dragon (Yandere!Morax/Reader)

A/n: I do not condone any "yandere" actions in real life, this is just a twisted version of the character for entertainment. This will also just be a loose interpretation/version of the myth "Bakunawa". I'm not very knowledgeable on the topic. I'm very sorry if the details were so off. ((I swear I'm not obsessed with the master/servant troupe this fic is just in my drafts way before yandere ayato lmao))

Unreliable synopsis: A widow/er gets exiled to Teyvat, only to realize it is worse than prison.

Cw: Canon Divergence. Yandere themes. Power imbalance. Mostly gn!reader (the reader likes women.)

------------

There is a saying you've heard in Qingce Village long ago. Your memory is weak now, but it went along the lines of "it is hard to wake up someone who is pretending to be asleep." The verbatim phrase had slowly eroded over time, as you can only pick up synonyms on what you hope the original passage was, but the meaning stands true.

You know well how much harder it is to convince those who chose to be ignorant more than those who are uneducated. Your world had always been a sea of ignoramuses and greed, the present is no different. You need only look at the man beside you for that frustration to resurface.

On a sunny day like this, you wished you can bask in the morning sun alone. "Zhongli", as he calls himself these days, sits with such eloquence and calm beside you that one would easily mistake him to be a righteous man. You scoffed. He is not.

Noticing your gaze, Zhongli straightened up. He adjusted his collar as a faint blush powdered his cheeks. There is a subtle smile on his face as he takes a small sip from his cup. You felt your stomach churn. Just what did he take your glare for? Although he is debatably more salacious in this new form he had taken, your gripe with him won't ever bubble to lust. You refuse to allow it.

You turned away. Hate him or not, you just can't win against him.

"For this lovely afternoon, we gather around here today to recall the tale of Rex Lapis's feat of sealing the terrifying sea dragon, Bakunawa! They are an absolutely perilous dragon that resides on Liyue's seas and our nation's greatest traitor! It is a story told often and one all of our children have heard, yet there had been recent developments found by the wonderful scholars of Sumeru, so keep your ears open!"

Iron Tongue Tian spoke in his usual velvety voice. Most passersby in the streets perked up upon hearing his implications of ancient discoveries.

You shook your head.

Bakunawa was a remarkable traitor in Liyue's Legends. With the archon's passing, it would be low for the storyteller to spread false news, right? Well. You have a fair share of encounters with corrupt and misinformed individuals so you're not placing bets on any of these.

You and Zhongli simultaneously placed your teacups down and eyed Iron Tongue Tian.

"So listen, let me tell you how it is... The tale begins centuries before the archon war, as a well-renowned xiezhi approaches Rex Lapis in candor..."

-----

"Salutations, Sovereign Lord Rex Lapis! This humble servant calls to bring forth news, should thee wish to hear it."

An illuminated immortal beast called out to him and bowed. Morax did not expect a xiezhi to approach him at this hour, but with how strangely uneven its breathing was it must be urgent. It's an even more curious thing for the intelligent ox-like beast not to label the news in either a positive or negative light. Especially when Rex Lapis himself bestowed these adepti the ability of hypersensitive tell spotting for the sake of maintaining law and order.

There are rarely any visitors allowed to enter Morax's domain. Considering how this was Yanfei's father, a friend of his, who was sent to deliver the message, it must be urgent.

Morax, in his human form, clothed himself with a lengthy hanfu with earthly tones. He may only be equipped with a fan and a pipe, but his presence alone is enough to make anyone tremble. The xiezhi learned of Rex Lapis' philosophies of Gold, and this is just one of many ways he displays placid intimidation. Who would even dare make a misstep when the Lord of Geo stood before them?

"Speak."

The pink-haired xiezhi lifted his head.

"There is a water dragon who trespassed Mount Hulao," he said. "They appear to be an outlander outside Teyvat. They're not particularly hostile, but they do not allow humans to interact with their nest either."

His gaze sharpened. "The dragon already nested in the mountains?"

"Yes, my Lord. They have already formed a domain for themselves by the lake, but Mountain Shaper's adamant on allowing them respite, if only for a moment..."

Morax hummed, uprooting the Vortex Vanquisher from the cracked earth. The xiezhi took a reluctant step back. The earth rattled in Morax's footsteps, and the way his golden light flickered through the cracks was amiss in his usual walks. Something tells the xiezhi that this was planned, yet he has yet to lay a finger on what caused his mood to churn into unusual distress.

"Then, shall you collect a few things for me?"

The xiezhi appeared visibly confused. His Lord would rarely ask for his assistance, as he preferred lower adepti to do his biddings. Perhaps this was a sign that this is more confidential than he thought. 

He nodded. "What is it that you wish for, my Lord?"

Morax pulled out a list from thin air. The parchment is pink and laced with a hint of gold. The xiezhi could slightly see through the paper and noticed how the handwriting is akin to Lord Guizhong. He bowed his head to avoid accidentally being on the receiving end of Morax's wrath.

"Hold your head up high, dear friend," Morax spoke as he handed him the scroll. The Adeptus nervously grabbed the list "it is your job to find the ingredients listed here."

Rex Lapis did not lie, the paper is filled with ingredients. However, the xiezhi expected it to be an instruction for smithing a powerful weapon, yet this was a guide on making "good tea". The poor lawyer cannot tell whether this was better than mining cor lapises or not, as one of the requirements entails a need to harvest violetgrass. Still, he would suck it up. Especially if he wants to be married to his mortal fiancé before winter comes.

The xiezhi gulped "T-tea recipes, my Lord?"

"Yes," Morax nodded, yet oddly enough there is a smile behind his stoic eyes. 

"It would be rude not to entertain guests, is that not right?"

---------

Morax entered the domain with ease. His guess was right that the rumored water dragon wouldn't endanger any of their visitors, as there was not a single hint of a trap or weapon. If anything, the realm was picturesque, with limitless orange striped skies, unfamiliar trees, and tropical pearls. The scenery was a stark contrast to the ones observed in Guili Plains. He can hear water flowing in a small stream. 

Was this meant to replicate their old home? Perhaps that is why the dragon chose Liyue. The north cannot accommodate those with warm tastes.

Morax instinctively reached for his weapon as he noticed something walking toward him.

"Greetings to the one who governs the Plains of Returning and Departing. I am Bakunawa, a Sea Dragon from outside Teyvat, and I'm humbled to be acquainted with Your Grace."

His alert demeanor stilled and his breath hitched.

It was you. 

You stood before him as an ethereal mortal cloaked with a cherry headdress and long pure silk that barely covered your form. The skin of your neck was bare yet laced with beads and golden tattoos. Had your eyes not glowed with vertical slits, he would've dubbed you as the most beautiful and handsome mortal he had ever seen. 

But it was not your form that he was enamored with. 

No, it was your presence.

Call it draconic instinct, call it fate. Not one label nor descriptor fits what Morax had felt when he first met you, and he was eager to spend centuries to figure it out.

"I must admit, I did not expect a personal visit," You chuckled softly "I fully expected for you to send your armed subordinates instead. Do I appear passable at best? I have heard from Mountain Shaper that you prefer conversations in this form."

"Y...Yes."

Morax caught himself. Did he, the Prime of the Adepti, stutter over something as minuscule as appearance?

He cleared his throat. Morax recalled from Guizhong's teachings that grueling conversations often start with tea and small talk. Well, if he must...

"You do not offend. You have a talent for upholstery. I bought jasmine tea. What is your motive for staying in here?"

"…"

"…"

"… Pfft-- Hahaha!"

You laughed while holding your sides. Even though you looked away, he could tell that your eyes were beginning to water. For a moment, Morax's knees felt wobbly as he watched your eyes brighten and crease over his comments.

Enchanting.

"You are as blunt and, err, interesting as they say!" You snapped your fingers in amusement. Your cheeks were rosy and your grin was wide. "Believe it or not my liege, I come here only to rest."

"It is your job to make me believe those words." Morax deadpanned.

"A fair point," you said. "However, I am not sure how to persuade you. Shall I recount the events that led me to your abode?"

"I will judge if the story alone will suffice," Morax spoke, "but proceed."

"Well then, let's pour ourselves some tea!"

-------

"There are seven moons where I'm from" You pointed to the fake sky above. "In my prime, I possessed quite a large stature. The mortals in my continent feared that I would swallow the moons out of ignorance, and would make strange noises with their damn pots and pans to rile me up– I know that look on your face. I've seen the same thing on Mountain Shaper's– Trust me, this will be relevant and it gets better."

You winked at the end of your ramblings.

Morax laughed curtly and crossed his arms. If you were sharper you would've noticed the faint pink blush on his cheeks. "I'll take your word for it. That does sound quite troublesome."

You clicked your tongue "It is. There is nothing more useless and vile quite like a human mortal."

Morax flinched.

"Are you not being too harsh with your judgement?" He took a sip of his drink. Morax hoped your opinion was not a threat. He had met adepti and yakshas alike who gaze at mortals with disdain, yet they were all charmed by their appeal in the end. "You may find that they aren't as bad as you say."

He almost wanted to fumble a rash apology after seeing your shoulders drop. You appeared akin to an orphaned child of a burned village, yet his point stands firm like a lone salvaged chapel.

You muttered, "They killed my sister."

Morax's eyes widened. He nearly spat his tea.

You gazed up and looked directly into his amber eyes.

"That was not the only thing they took from me," You grumbled. "They burned my mate's house and left her entire family to succumb to famine while I was away." 

"I pride myself on being a patient being, despite my undesirable circumstances, yet I had let my anger fester deep enough. I had decided to swallow a moon they loved so dearly in return."

You were certainly more loquacious when berating mortals, something Morax silently made note of. Despite your distaste for humanity, you still wore their skin to accommodate his preferences. The notion made the dragon's heart skip a beat a little.

"And did you succeed?" Morax gazed down at his cup while you chuckled sardonically. 

"What do you think?"

You opened your palm. Morax had to squint to see the little speckles resting on your hands. His eyes widened. There is no mistake. It is a culmination of both extracted stardust and starglitters. His breathing paced slowly. To think there would be a being who would dare defy the heavenly principles, even if such Teyvat's laws do not apply to them.

But that wasn't truly what caught his eye.

It was the gold ring on your finger.

"I succeeded, but failed to steel myself." You said. "In the end, these humans frightened me with their strange noises and led me back to sea. As pathetic as that sounds."

"The world I hailed from retained but a single moon," you spoke. "And I'd take a leap in the dark that this world used to have two more that accompanied that lone moon in the sky. I wonder if there's a crack behind that wall..."

Morax went silent. Those slew of words weighed a thousand threats, yet spoke of none. 

"You had done all of that for a mere woman?"

"Are you not fuc– Did you not listen?" It's a good thing you caught yourself. "Humanity took my sister. They killed her because they mistakenly believed her weight was sinking the island. Humans are rash. Cruel. And they do not deserve my pity. There were multiple atrocities they have committed, and... And I suppose that was when they crossed the line."

Morax felt perturbed. Your reasonings were far from enlightened, at least in his viewpoint at the time. "Taking their moons is not a fair act of justice."

'No shit.' You took a long deep breath. 

You heard this all before. The same lecture was spoken before you were shunned from your realm, and they all came from holier-than-thou dragons patting each other on the back over their skewed sense of morality when other creatures do not operate similarly. They are godlings with endless crimes yet these same faces would dare act empathetic over the lives you've taken after you've been driven out. 

If they were not driven by political motives, they were emotionally detached. They cannot and WILL NOT comprehend how one can be enchanted to meet a woman like your lover. It appears that Morax fits the latter description.

He doesn't know. He didn't know.

The silence was beginning to become a nuisance for the both of you. You coughed behind your hand. "I… admit. After her death, I am no longer a patient benevolent being. Sorry, let us both put that aside for now. What matters right now is the issue that I am stranded in a foreign land."

"And what is it that you hope to achieve?" He muttered, causing you to tilt your head.

"Allow me to phrase that properly, Bakunawa. I am, for a lack of a better term, 'a blockhead'. I have but a smattering of knowledge when it comes to these dealings and quite frankly I am reliant on Guizhong." Morax said, slightly massaging his temple after imagining Barbatos's grating voice. "What is it that you are trying to tell me?"

"My new friend, Rex Lapis," You inched closer beside him.

"May I tempt you and Lord Guizhong with a service contract?" You said. Maintaining his breath turned difficult as your fingers intertwined with his. 

"I assure you, I may have a questionable background but someone with my repertoire is hard to come by." 

-----------

You raised an eyebrow at Zhongli.

"I did not seduce you in any shape or form." You grumbled, giving him a dirty look "Seriously, Morax, what lies are you feeding your people?"

"OUR people have quite an imagination, my dearest spouse," Zhongli chuckled as his thumbs gently caressed your thigh. You cringed.

You divert your attention back to the storyteller, ignoring the way his filthy hands seem to crawl upwards.

You can tolerate this. You can tolerate this. You had to quietly chant that, lest you might just accidentally pray to the "deceased" Rex Lapis for your safety.

"The water Dragon went on to serve Sovereign Lord Rex Lapis and the late Lord Guizhong as their most loyal retainer for over hundreds of years. But alas! As you all may know, the latter turned to dust, and what comes after had crumbled Rex Lapis' foundation of trust...."

------------

The Dust had settled.

You were afar when it happened, fending off the great waves as you slash through the perilous winds. The dim skies accentuate the glow of your spear. You could no longer tell if the salt you taste is off your sweat or the ocean and the same goes for your blood and theirs. Guizhong purposely stationed you to fight silent enemies because she knew of your phobia. You appreciate her consideration. 

Some nights, you wished you were able to save her with just your appreciation.

Only when you emerged victorious against Osial's lackeys did you hear a shrill cry from Cloud Retainer. You snapped your head and reached your hand out in fear that the engineer needed assistance, slightly annoyed at her interference. When you leaped your way up, she was in pristine condition. Her feathers were barely covered in dirt just like her claws.

You sighed in relief. 

You never liked loud and sharp noises. 

It had always been your greatest bane.

"What the hell are you yelling for?! There is no time to coddle your eccentricities, Retainer!"

Her wing pointed to her north, trembling. You expected her to open her mouth with her predictable "One must" opening, but she didn't. You followed her gaze and occupied her telescope.

The shores of Yaoguang Shoal were far and truthfully the sight was left to your imagination. There were however, two silhouettes you were familiar with and the view was not pretty. Above the sands, you make out the form of your Lords and friends, Morax and Guizhong.

Your head lowered as you cursed under your breath. You just know that he is beside himself holding back silvery tears.

To have a loved one be stripped away...

He knows. Now he knows.

------------

"My Lord," You moved to pass the curtains. The beaded threads slide over and reveal the form of Morax's drained form. He still insisted on remaining human as he buried his nose in writing paperwork after paperwork. Out of respect, you entered his abode as one as well. It is no secret that you worry over his health. As his most trusted retainer, you had voluntarily stationed yourself outside his room for most of your free time. "I bought you some food and water from Mount Aocang."

There was no response.

You sighed. You should've guessed as much. You were in a similar state, might've been worse, a day after you knelt beside your wife's ashes. It was just unpredictable how the man you saw screamed and summon meteors from the sky grieving so uncannily silent.

"Why are you offering me fish?"

"Oh, I..." You scratched behind your ear. "I supposed it was an unconscious decision. I often gave my wife seafood when she was under the weather... My wife is an avid fan of seafood– was, an avid fan..."

You looked back at the memory of your old life so fondly, back when you waited for nothing more than eating with her by the banana leaves. Morax's face sharpened in a mocking pointed look. Your heart ached for a moment, fearing that the sentiment is not appropriate for those in grief to hear.

"Shut it."

Your sympathy slightly cracked. Perhaps it was not appropriate for you to mention your deceased loved one when he is in this state but to be so uncouth about it? A bit unacceptable. You pulled the plate closer to your chest defensively. 

"But you must eat–"

"I find seafood distasteful." He bit back. "The mere sight irritates me. Dispose of it. Now."

"Mo–"

"BAKUNAWA!!!"

You trembled.

His eyes looked directly into your soul and you felt it dissecting your being. Judging. Hateful. Words cannot fully describe how unpleasant it becomes being near Morax's presence when he was menacing. 

But Morax faltered when he saw you flinch.

He had almost forgotten your fear of loud noises.

"Do not mention your DEAD wife ever again." He spat and glowered. Morax picked up a pen again and hastily pulled out a parchment from his study table. You assumed it was yours as he began to inspect it closely. 

"I should revise your contract."

"You didn't hate seafood last time we dined with Pervases." You mumbled mostly to yourself, not wanting to uncover your grief over the young yaksha's passing either. It certainly will be the last time you ate with him. You didn't want to use Pervases as a dirty trick to distract Morax from condemning your wife's memory, but you knew that with him, you must grasp at any straws for an immovable force to budge.

"I do not like it now. Bakunawa. Throw it away. A mere mortal's preference will never influence my own." 

You scoffed.

A mere mortal? Had he become this petty? Using your deceased wife's favorite things as a weapon against you? Just so you would leave?

You want to be just as petty. You want to hurl insult after insult, but you have matured. He reminded you of yourself in the ocean many moons ago. You should know how grief comes in waves, clinging onto shore once in a while. This is a dragon stripped away from his closest confidant, much like how the love of your wife was taken from you.

If this is how he grieves, then you respect it.

He is a sleeping dragon, but it is not time for him to wake up. 

"I see. I shall leave you alone for tonight." You smiled faintly. 

"Get some rest, Morax."

After you left, Morax reached out his hand but you were already gone. He placed his pen down and rubbed his forehead. That was not how he wanted that conversation to go. He did not mean to be passive-aggressive, but he can't help but be irritated when you speak of the dead mortal.

You mention her name every moment you two were alone together, and he's starting to suspect that you do so on purpose. Her name is a constant reminder that while you penned your name in his contract, you will never belong to him. The gold on your ring finger solidified it. 

Morax sighed.

He wished you stayed with him until he felt better, and not the opposite.

------------

You turned back to your original form. Your human heart was uneased and erratic the entire time you were alone with Morax. It's strange because you always felt secure around him, but being around a grieving person is likely a complicated ordeal. The uncomfortable sensations seem to stem from your human vessel, and the tingles have yet to subside despite reverting to your old scales. 

You sat at a rock in Guili Plains. The field remains tilled with blood and residues of fallen divine beings. Ashes are scattered along with blood-stained mud. Traces of the battle left not one house standing. Morax was forced to move the survivors to the harbor. Had Guizhong survived, she would've calculated the damages and costs to repair the civilization. She would've been alongside you and Morax, pinching the bridge of her nose as she writes off what needs to be done. You could see it clear as day. Guizhong would've patted Morax's head and reassured him with hopes for the future. It left a bitter taste in your mouth just imagining it.

Because she reminds you of your wife. And now she had passed on as well.  

You wondered if the two finally met up there. Lord Guizhong had expressed interest in meeting your wife someday. You wondered if they were fast friends.

But you also wondered if she's happy in the afterlife.

Being a sea serpent dragon, your eyesight is not as great as a crane's which leads you to have doubts. 

Is it possible that Morax himself was the one who put Guizhong out of her misery?

"You may have won, but you shouldn't let your guard down, Bakunawa."

In one swift motion, your claws pressed against Beisht's neck. Her back was pressed firmly against the cracked concretes. A dangerous laugh echoed throughout the barren land. She, with her overflowing confidence, grabbed your hand and dug the blade deeper down her neck.

"Do you really think I'd come after you with my true form?"

Ragged as she may be, Biesht had been such an eye-candy. Her eyes were inviting and her lips were just as tempting. She's personally not your type, but you can see the appeal. Her sharp eyelashes and long painted nails are to die for. It's no wonder Osial tied her down as his mistress. 

But this isn't Beisht herself.

"A water mimic." You grumbled distastefully. Your claws retract and morphed back into human nails. With apparent distaste, you won't let her rile you up in your divine form. 

"Ten points to Bakunawa." She said sardonically.

"What are you doing here, Beisht? Your strength wanes-- you can barely maintain your mimic's shape. What could you possibly achieve by such a reckless ambush? Do you realize how idiotic your plan was? Do you have a death wish?"

"Tut-tut! Won't even allow me to speak? Such hostility!" Beisht snickered. "What's with your self-righteous attitude? There are no tales of chivalry and glory born from a wasteland. Don't suffocate yourself with such fake ideals, my fellow monster."

This serpent is the exact opposite of your wife.

"I…" You sighed. You were both equally jaded, the only difference between you two is that one is willing to hide it. "Why aren't you with your husband."

It was not a question yet she humored you anyways. "Trapped down there, but don't worry I'll join him eventually."

As she should.

"I wasn't fucking worried."

"To answer your previous question: I figured I should greet my new neighbor." She laughed. "After all, we're bound to be cellmates."

You clicked your tongue. Her smirk widened. Despite being at the bottom of this struggle, she seemed to be under the impression she had it under control. Your grip on the mimic's wrists tightened.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You're a serpent dragon like me, not a pathetic mortal. I'm sure you know what I meant, don't you darling? It's very similar to how Osial won't let me meet other beings."

You refused to meet her gaze.

You know. Everyone knows the look Morax gives you when he thought no one was staring. You know how both his human and draconic hands hover above your own when they shouldn't. They practically mirrored yours one fateful summer on the seaside. They were a striking similarity of who you once were to your wife.

A dragon's love can be suffocating. You admit that you are not free from criticism when you were just as hopeless. You once tried to court your wife by leaving human and animal hearts on her doorstep among other gruesome courtship methods. It was only through her mercy did you learn how love must be kept in moderation. She forgave you of your sins. It was only through her guidance did you learn that love does not translate to possession, nor should it be stifled by rigid rules.

He does not think the same.

Morax is desperately in love with you, but your heart belongs to another. That is a violation of your shared contract that neither of you had to acknowledge, and with how the winds changed and blew the cold away, so too will his disposition.

At that moment, you started to think that gentle reminders of your marriage won't be enough to keep the dragon at bay.

"He wants to lock me up to quench his obsession." You breathed shallowly. "He just hasn't discovered a sociably acceptable reason to do so."

"Smart dragon." She cooed and smoothed out your ruffled human hair. You quietly groaned. "I'm sure we'd be good friends under the sea. You'd be my favorite neighbor."

"I will be your only neighbor."

 "Oh? Do you want points for that as well?"

You gritted your teeth. "I don't need your approval."

"Hmm, but you need others, don't you? Poor poor Bakunawa," she mocked. 

"Finally got a taste of what it feels like to be accepted by society, only to sink back to the abyss. What a tragic tale." 

Beisht looked behind you. "I'll be heading off now, his servant approaches. Do visit my chambers sometimes, won't you, love? I just know we'd make great accomplices."

She kissed your cheek.

"Beis–"

Her water mimic fizzled out.

"Bakunawa, Rex Lapis calls for you." 

You snapped out of it.

The last Yaksha met your gaze. His arms were folded and he himself was just as indifferent. This command spells trouble for you, but you cannot bring yourself to complain. Xiao's eyes were tired and you do not wish to add more to his troubles. If he did saw Beisht and did nothing, it was likely due to the karmic binds.

You nodded. 

"I'll be there at once, thank you, Xiao."

-------------

In hindsight, you should've been warier at the fact that Morax summoned you close to the shore where Osial was imprisoned in. Yet you still needed to clean up the remains of this war. It is your sworn duty to help Morax's people. Even if it meant going door to door to exterminate foul sea miscreations.

A bit ironic, considering Morax's whole spiel about eating seafood earlier.

"You have called for me, my lord?"

"Bakunawa…" He said. You do not like how he looked at you. "There are things I would like to confess."

You do not like where this is going.

"Go... Go on..."

"Bakunawa, I..." 

He blushed as he took your hands. Morax's eyes were directly staring into your soul. You wanted to immediately pull away, but the thought of offending him with that more than your rejection started to creep in. You both stared at each other with uncertainty. From an outside perspective, it would look adorable. From your perspective, this was an absolute nightmare.

"I love you."

"Morax I–" You immediately stammered as he leaned forward.

His lips felt soft when pressed against your palm.

Morax pulled back. 

He squinted.

"So... You still chose her."

You looked at your hand. Your wedding ring glowed. 

With newfound resolve, you nodded.

"Always."

"I see..." Morax scowled. 

"You must hope that you will not regret your choice."

The ground shook below you.

You didn't realize what was happening until you screamed your lungs out from the fall.

"What the– What's this..."

Morax looked down at you, distraught.

"BAKUNAWA, YOU ARE CONDEMNED TO A LIFE OF ETERNAL IMPRISONMENT FOR VIOLATING CLAUSE I OF SECTION A." A mechanical voice echoed around you.

"... What?"

"YOU WILL NOW UNDERGO PUNISHMENT BEFITTING OF TRAITORS. GLORY TO THE PRIME OF THE ADEPTI."

CLINK! CLANK!

You winced. Not due to physical pain, but due to the noises around you. You tried to turn back into a dragon but to no avail. Any effort you had in making the noises stop was futile until you regressed to a shaken mess.

Your eyes started to water as you gazed up at Morax through the glass. He stared back with discontent.

"M-Morax..."

You were wrong-- You were lied to.

Your assumptions and good intentions led you right into the dragon's trap. 

You weren't looking at Morax when he was grieving. You were looking at yourself through Morax.

The cold-blooded dragon did not inch closer to you when it rested. It did not take solace in the warmth and kindness you offered. The reason it drew near, the reason it wrapped itself around you, was so it could snare you-- trap you to become his.

It is hard to wake up someone who is pretending to be asleep. And Morax had one eye open this entire time.

With how you ignored his affections for you, perhaps you were pretending as well.

Humans, dragons--- they're no different. All are filled with greed and unadulterated obsession. You never would've thought that a day would come that being shunned by humanity would be more enticing than receiving affection from a fellow dragon. There is no doubt that refusal will end with a terrible fate.

Because divine beings don't truly kill their enemies, they break them.

And you can't turn back to your original form.

You felt like vomiting.

The noise. It's getting louder 

They kept clinking. 

Clanging.

Clanking.

You could no longer hear your own thoughts.

"Make it stop."

 You gritted your teeth as tears start to blur your vision. 

You kneeled. 

Your nails are dug through the shell of your ears. 

You feel blood on your cuticles.

"MORAX MAKE IT STOP DAMNIT!!!"

You were sobbing. You were trembling.

He only looked down on you.

You can't tell what the scowl on his face meant from all the noise.

He left and robbed you of your only view of the outside world.

"MORAX!!! MORAX COME BACK!!!!"

He left you there for two hundred years. Trapped in the shell of the mortals you hated and the sounds they created.

------------

"And so, the terrifying Bakunawa was sealed away for trying to seal our moon! Legends spoke that they had fallen asleep and never reawakened when Osial recently reemerged, but a recent theory emerges from the sea…"

His hooked listeners leaned forward with anticipation, including Zhongli.  

"Theorists believe…

That Bakunawa had escaped, and roams Teyvat to this day!"

You laughed.

Your laughter was as misplaced as a joke told at a funeral, but you cannot help it. It was so surreal. The proclamation had you shaking in your seat, holding back tears. You could just die laughing from these hysterics. Your face felt numb. The audience looked at Zhongli's once elegant and composed lover reduced to nothing more than a mere maniacal madman. 

It was loud. It was jarring. It was eerie.

Zhongli held your hand to "fix you" and you stilled, but not without a final cackle.

Escaped? What an optimistic assumption! Morax took pity after watching you shrivel up in fear for two centuries. There was no means of escape from a domain created by Lord Guizhong. They all label you a traitor and now they think of you as a miracle worker. Can't they pick a side?

"(Y/n)." Behave yourself. That was a command.

You gave him a taunting look. Your face urged him to 'Go on. Call me by my real name' and he grunted.

"Pfft… Ah, my apologies, my husband," You waved your hand dismissively. Your hands were still jittery, and a few laughs managed to escape your lips. "Clause III, isn't it? I forget that I had come dangerously close to losing it. Do forgive me, everyone."

His grip tightened. Ah, right. You shouldn't mention your "freedom" contract in public.

"Clause III?" The boy behind you shared hushed whispers with his mother.

"… Do you not believe such stories, Mx. (Y/n)?" The storyteller spoke in low tones. "What do you find so joyful about such an alarming tale?"

Ahh, what a lark. You grinned briefly. Such manner of speech does not faze you.

"Oh no, quite the contrary sir I find it to be quite believable!" No man would ever believe such a reply. "Do tell-- What happens next?"

"W-Well," Iron Tongue Tian fixed his collar. One could argue that it was due to the summer heat, but you know better than that. "The tale ends here for today, if there is any more progress, I shall indulge everyone with the next chapter!"

"Oh no! We can't have that now can't we?" You looked around with a faux troubled expression. They stared back at you with varying degrees of discomfort.

Zhongli glared. "(Y/n)."

You sauntered to the stage and patted the storyteller's shoulder.

"Don't worry folks. I, (Y/n), shall continue this tale."

"(Y/N)!"

Zhongli called out to you, louder than before.

The earth trembled and clouds began to gather. Liyue Harbor slowly turned dim as the shades filtered sepia tones. The boy in the crowd held back tears, causing his mother to give you a dirty look. It wasn't just her, everyone looked at you the same way the mortals back home gazed at you.

With fear and hatred.

It was not (Y/n) they were meant to hate, but the true villain who sat with them. Your chest and eyelids felt heavy. But you were easier to hate as you tried to enlighten them with the truth.

Once again, Morax reduced you into nothing more than a blubbering, foolish villain.

The saying remains true. It is hard to wake up someone who is pretending to be asleep.

Finally, you turned to Zhongli with thin lips. He's already in front of you with a hand reached out. Perhaps the only reason why no one dared criticize you in public was because you were this respectable man's spouse. You bit your lip. Deep down, you had never been this upset in over five hundred years. You want to go home.  

They were quiet.

There were no pots nor pans nor screaming to be heard, but the silence was just as loud.

"Let's come home, darling." He whispered threateningly.

Home is where your wife was.

"How…" You took his hand and whispered to his ear. Your voice cracked and your grip tightened.

"How can I go home?"

Zhongli did not answer. Instead, he dragged you away from the crowd. Neither of you spoke until you reached your shared house.

"Get some rest."

For once, you complied without question, something Zhongli greatly appreciated. You had enough for today.

You simply nodded and entered your bedroom.

Without warning, Zhongli's arms wrapped around your waist from behind. You stared at it. Those hands. They never once failed to reach out to you, but you lacked the will to grasp them. You shut your eyes close. Maybe it's time that you hold them as Morax insisted.

Your hands lingered above his.

Perhaps it's time you pretend to fall asleep as well.

[lucideemo]

The first time Zhongli came to you, he presented himself as a beggar.

A wanderer, a vagabond, a man with little more than the clothes on his back and a false name. He'd been bleeding, bruised, barely dragging himself along, and he caught you at sunset, tending to your garden while you still had the light to do so. It might've been raining, or it might've just stopped, or it might've been starting to. Such minor details escape him, now.

"Do you have a place for an unlucky traveler to rest his weary head?" He asked. "I'm afraid I have nothing to offer you, in return."

"I run a household, not an inn," You said, already ushering him inside. "Tend to my hearth, and you may stay as long as you desire."

And he had. He kept a healthy fire burning through the night, allowed you to tend to his wounds with burning powders and cooling ointments, and as the moon rose and the stars began to shine, he told you stories of adepti, of beasts the flew through the air and burrowed beneath the ground, of monsters he had known and foughten and befriended. He recited legends, myths, long-forgotten recipes for wine that you attempted to recreate with varying success, and you responded with mortal tales, of heroes and lovers and reasons such a young soul would chose to live in the barren outskirts of their homeland. He kissed the back of your hand, and you allowed him to. He asked for nothing more.

By sunrise, the hearth burned low, and he was gone.

~

The second time he came to you, he presented himself as a wealthy merchant.

No less disheveled, but his rags had been traded for ruined silk, his rusted dagger for a proper polearm, his name for one you might've recognized if you'd been one to frequent the markets of Liyue Harbor. He allowed himself to linger, to wait on your doorstep, and when you returned, your sleeves damp and an empty pail balanced at your hip, he allowed himself to speak fondly, too, to act as if he had the right to such familiarity.

"Do you have a bed to spare?" He asked. "I'm terribly lost, and I'm able to walk no further, today. I can repay your hospitality handsomely, in return."

"I have no need for mora," You said. "Fetch me another bucket of water, and you may stay as long as you desire."

And he had. He returned within the hour, and helped you to harvest and wash the crops that had only begun to sprout, when he first stumbled across you. He told you of the world as the two of you worked, of Mondstadt and its endless summer, of Inazuma and its strange beauty, of other archons and other nations, and in exchange, you offered stories of your hometown, of your sister, of dead gods who required more than just devotion from their followers. You showed him how to dice vegetables, how to cook over an open fire without getting burnt, and he paid for his lessons with exotic seasonings, with dried fruit and sweetened honey imported from the other side of Teyvat. He kissed your cheek, and you allowed him to. He asked for nothing more.

By sunrise, your pitchers had run dry, and he was gone.

~

The third and final time he came to you, he showed you only himself.

Not his true form, for he had no desire to carve such a terribly divine visage into your fragile mortal mind, but a version of himself that was closer to the truth, a version of himself with great horns that curved back over his skull, with eyes that shined gold when they caught the light of the setting sun, with a stature so great and so refined, he could not possibly be mistaken for anything human. You did not welcome him, when you dared to step out of your humble home, nor did you invite him inside. He allowed himself to believe you were simply too shocked to think to.

"Come with me." It was not a question. "You will be the consort of an archon, and know nothing but bliss from now until the end of time."

"I can't." It was not an explanation. "This is my home. I have no desire to leave it."

And yet, you had. You sobbed and shook and clawed at his chest, but you did not try to run, or resist, and you weren't capable of struggling in any way that might harm a god. He told you of the life that you would have with him, of the many faces he's worn, of the hardships you would no longer have to endure and the cruelties that would never touch you, and you failed to respond. He kissed you, truly kissed you, and you had no choice but to allow him to.

By sunrise, he had you in his arms, and he couldn't imagine ever letting go again.

[lucideemo]

✤ — Universe: Sister! ✤ — Concept: The twin travelers Aether and Lumine lament over the loss of their older sibling following their argument and the destruction of their homeland. Little did they know who awaits their presence in the realm of the Abyss. ✤ — Characters: Aether & Lumine (platonic), Paimon, Diluc, Kaeya, Dainsleif A/N: Look at what's finally out of the prison called my drafts lmao- Dishing out some delicious plate of sibling angst. Behold, (Sister)AbyssLeader!MC. Ah yes, Aether & Lumine need hugs, they're terribly sad. Now, let's explore a common misunderstanding between siblings :))

“Please just reconcile already.”

It's quiet—a poignant sound that demands to be heard through the dissonance. And it's heard.

“... Pardon?”

The clash of fiery bellows and icy roars meets again only to melt and vaporize in the wind. Silence is all that ensues until eyes start turning.

In the dead of the night, in a tavern now holding a few people in its belligerent-turned atmosphere, something breaks; patience.

There is a small, tentative voice. Shaken with understanding.

“Lumine-”

“Make up already! You shouldn't-” the blonde in question blinks as if she's trying to keep something at bay, “Siblings shouldn't fight. You'll regret it so please,”

The air is cold.

“Before it's too late... you need to get along.”

No one says a thing. They allow the gravity—the truth in her words to sink in.

But the female Traveler can no longer stand the idea of being in the same room with another pair of siblings who refuse to meet eye to eye.

It's far too similar, far too much in essence that she's the one that's hurting for their sake. So she leaves in a hurry, a sight to behold for a Traveler that's known to be composed.

Her twin brother follows without any ounce of hesitance.

The door shuts, leaving two men to ponder over their blazing glares and frigid tones that have now dissipated in an uneasy silence.

No one is awake on the eve of midnight to witness the Honorary Knights depart with faces contorted into emotions deemed impossible for them to even feature.

Their steps are heavy as they carried themselves past the gates of Mondstadt; a jolly city that isn't so jolly to them anymore.

What hangs in the air—a tension of their own—isn't addressed until their feet have crossed the threshold bridging Mondstat to the crossroads.

“I know what you're going to say, Aether, don't. I just can't help it, okay?”

They shy away from the blue moon and its light, heading towards the canopy of shades provided by the great tree in Windrise. The moon is too stark of a reminder that pains them still.

“Master Diluc... and Captain Kaeya,” two siblings whose bond fell out in their passing years, the same pair they've seen fighting just a while ago, “In the end, all they'll have is each other. If they keep fighting, then... a time will come..”

“You are my younger siblings, it's my responsibility to look after you.” “Don't be hasty, you two.”

“When they will regret it.”

“Were you two world-hopping again? How many times do I have to say that you should at least tell me? It's just the three of us.” “I can't bear to imagine a world without you two.”

Lumine allows herself to fall by the roots of the tree, the swaying of the tall grass reminiscent of the loving caress on her person.

Her throat starts to burn, “And- and..”

“It'd be too late.” Aether completes in his twin's stead, voice profuse with dolor.

Too late.

Two simple words with a meaning so irreversible, a weight too heavy to bear that it will capsize the mightiest of ships and collapse the strongest of towers.

This eventide is the famed and glorified Travelers' own descent into their void of great travail.

What's witnessed to be as firm as a primordial rock, as composed as the still waters, breaks with a small crevice on their form. At long last.

“She was crying, Aether. [Name] never cries, but-” her hands are trembling, unsure what to do with them until she settles for clasping them, “But our homeworld fissured before she can get to us.”

Warmth swarms them—and it's far from being the comforting kind. It is evocative of a time of old, of a time when a world burns.

The siblings hate how centuries—maybe even a millennium now—have already elapsed and still, the sweltering heat of the flames can be felt.

“We were consumed by the flames but we were still able to flee. [Name] didn't know that-”

“You don't know if that's true.”

“She didn't know that we survived! She saw us plummet and she was trying to get to us but we were already transported before she could!” her rising voice astounds her brother, “She probably thought we're still there.. probably stayed behind so she can look for us- she could've perished and-!”

A hand lands upon her shoulder, without a doubt to try and stabilize whatever rationality, sense, and composure is left.

“Lumine, calm down."

Yet even Aether is far from being composed if his shaky hand is anything to go by. Still, his gesture is appreciated, and his sibling mellows out her hysterics to tiny stammers.

It's a painful sight to see; Lumine caving in on herself, trying not to let the tremors seize full control as it did with her brother. Someone needs to- someone needs to have a clear head between them.

Though that's easier said than done.

“It's just that- I- we-”

And the high from emotions suppressed due to the sudden thrust into a different world, the fresh wound of an argument that can't be taken back, they have already made itself known.

The cracks are there and it's too late to hinder it. Now they're breaking.

And they're breaking apart.

“All she ever wanted was to protect us. Do you really think that [Name] would leave after not seeing us flee first?”

“Just tell me if you're leaving, is that so hard to do? I'm not belittling either of you.”

The same old misunderstanding, how many times have they gone over this?

Aether released a sharp, clipped exhale. He then lifts his eyes to stare upon the slightly larger form of his older sibling, her enormous wings, grander and mightier... and the powerful nimbus exuding off of her.

“Then why do you have to be there in each of our battles? If you could just let us finish, you would see how perfectly capable we are on our own.” it isn't a lie, after all, they were her 'students', too.

[Name] only blinks, face passive, seemingly indifferent. “I worry.”

Worry? The twins try not to think much of their sister's blank visage.

Try not to think that her concern is superficial and exists only for show—that in fact, she does not feel anything. Because they know that [Name] has always been a feeling kind of individual.

Underneath that front of blankness lies a person who feels too much- loves too much for them. Baring those emotions for everyone to see just never has been, well, '[Name]'.

“That's the thing! You worry too much!” Aether bursts, failing to ensure his sangfroid.

There is a gentle tug on his cape, succeeded with a whisper of his name and a 'calm yourself', and he sighs. That second, there is an attempt to assuage his thinning patience before the argument turns uglier than necessary.

But that's almost impossible.

“You're my little siblings. I want to keep you safe, cooperate with me, why don't you?” it's a gentle thing to say, delivered just as gently.

But the aggro that's been accumulating for plenty of years distorts how they perceive such benignity.

Gone is the loving sister they're so fond of, and in her stead is a being with the same face carrying a semblance of care. Such is how their psyche, suffused with spite, warps a supposedly pleasant image into a mockery.

The twins share a look before nodding, their wings lifting them off the ground with the intention to venture past their world once more.

[Name] tenses, blank face displaying a small crevice that leaks alarm as she asks where they're going.

“Far from home for now... just to, to compose ourselves.”

“I don't think you should leave,” her voice is evident with dread, “Lately something's amiss with-”

Lumine sighs, “See, [Name], this is why we don't tell you... you refuse to let us leave.”

A beat of silence.

Did it really come off like that? [Name] swallows with a blink of her golden eyes. I had no intention to... I only ever wanted to know where they're going, it's...

Not knowing where her siblings are is what shakes her to the core.

She lowers her head, the epiphany dawning like the sun, “I... My apologies. I'm sorry.”

“We'll come back,” Aether assures her, though his voice does little to conceal his desire to satiate his wanderlust.

“Don't leave... Aether, Lumine.”

There is a fissure in [Name]'s visage, showing concern and fear upon hearing those words. But her siblings are no longer there to see it.

The twins traveled far and beyond as they dreamt of, only flying to their homeworld after a set time to fulfill their promise of return.

But the world they come back into is no longer the world they left from.

Crimson paints the sky, bleeding with rain that fails to quell the raging inferno. Voices ring in a babel—a chorus singing a requiem in the crumbling, burning earth.

They have no time to wonder why everything's falling apart. There is only one objective. Where, where is—

“Lumine! Aether! Where are you?!”

It's a voice so uncharacteristically profuse with panic that has them veering their eyes from left to right. But the smog hinders their sights, the most they can do is to try and swerve away from equally distressed people who are in the middle of fleeing.

Aether flies through the haze with his twin following behind, hissing at the heat of the enormous flames.

There's another call of his name, nearer than before, and he turns to change course—but someone collides against him. Immediately, his balance is tipped and he's falling in the banquet of flames.

Lumine reaches for him with a yell, their bodies cloaking with a golden light as they descend further into the scorching element.

It's meant to be blazing hot, and they really would've burned if not for the sheltering gold that takes care in preparing to transport them to a faraway world. To safety.

But then [Name] appears just above the flickering tips of the conflagration, features contorted in horror as she continues her cries of their names.

Lumine gasps, reaching out her hand, “[Name]!”

But by the time their older sibling turns down, golden eyes dilating, the flames ravage the twins whole and they're nowhere to be seen.

“I miss her so much, Aether, it hurts.”

Rivers spill from both eyes and neither has any intent to stop them.

“We couldn't even- we couldn't even apologize.”

Although they are here side by side, together, they are incomplete; they're meant to be a family of three.

“She might be gone now and I hate to think that our last memory together was us fighting.”

Not two.

Lumine fidgets with her hands, unsure what to do with their tremors. She wonders if she should just hide her face in them, or clench them in a semblance of fortitude.

Doing neither, she opts to just clasp and wring her fingers together in an otiose assay to mimic her sister's firm yet gentle hold on it.

She swallows, voice tight, “We don't even have anything in her memory.”

Aether's chest squeezes in remorse as his remaining sibling takes to leaning on his shoulder. He deems it strange to suddenly be the pillar of comfort, a role that's once suited for his older sister.

“I miss [Name], too,” his voice is barely audible on purpose, afraid that it'll waver if it gets any louder, “I'm just as guilty as you are. But she won't like it if we're to keep this up... we need to be strong.”

That indeed is true.

“I'm sure that... she would like us to be that way.”

An older sibling wishes for nothing but the strength of their younger kin; strength to overcome hurdles, to keep their chins up, and to keep on living.

But when adversity comes that threatens one's mettle... when a situation is tailored to enervate you, strength and weakness come to play.

When at its face, which will reign supreme? Vigor or frailty?

Will you fortify—

The Abyss Herald falters under the might of the golden suns, its cursed life a mere second away from snapping into nothingness.

But before it can proceed, there's a swift blur of [c].

—Or will you crumble?

An arching sweep glimmering with stars cuts through the fracas of navy and marigold, deflecting the onslaught of attacks in an easy strike.

The twins skid far back in the violet-tinted site raging with abyssal energy, ears picking up on their recently acquired companion—Dainsleif—and his sharp demand of 'wait'. Followed by a name.

A familiar name that has them stilling.

Dainsleif vanishes into the portal—without care for the Herald—before the Travelers can see who he's chasing, and the portal closes behind him.

They reach an answer implying that his chase is all for naught, though, because whoever he's chasing has no intentions to be caught. And whoever that is is coming back.

No openings are visible until a second later, when a fissure breaks through reality and out saunters a figure whose direction is towards the inverted statue.

“King...” murmurs the abyssal creature.

The title, though perfectly heard, is not paid any attention. No, the siblings focus on the lone figure upon the demolished steps leading towards the forgotten statue.

Aureate eyes widen and settle upon the distant figure of a woman. The same person being lamented over since the twins' arrival in Teyvat.

Despite being sequined in violet and gold, despite being cloaked in the stars... there is no mistaking those [c] tresses. Nor the aura she carries with each step.

Can it be?

“[N]-” Lumine starts, her voice tiny, “[Name]... ? Is that really you?”

A question breathed in a whisper so hushed, yet, it is not unheard.

[Name] looks just as surprised as they are, though her reaction is much more mellow and composed—as if she's considered the thought of them being alive and has clung to that chance.

“Aether... Lumine,” her voice is uncharacteristically soft, opposing the rigidity of her features. “You're alive.”

But underneath that firm layer of coldness, the younger siblings know—they feel the relief. The mutual happiness.

Such can be seen in the glossing of [Name]'s golden eyes, the only similar feature she has with the two.

Hearing their respective names be called out for so long—after long, long centuries spent in unconscious grief—all but beckons the twins' eyes to water.

Sister... !

“We- we are!” Lumine, the first to snap out of her trance, steps forward with a trembling smile.

She cannot believe this- this miracle.

“We're safe. And- and we're complete!” she grabs Aether's hand in hers to add emphasis on the fact that they're all in one place.

Together. Like they used to.

As a family of three.

The blond reaches her hand out in invitation, “Come, let's—”

But maybe that's just wishful thinking.

The unexplained aversion of eyes and the slight change of direction to face the abyssal portal makes Lumine pause her words and drop her hand.

Something does not bode well.

Fraught with dread—and the desire not to ascertain the answer but alas must be done—the air grows colder.

Aether is the next one to step forward, having caught the appearance of a frosty expression on his older sister's face. It's so foreign, so unlike her, so different from the warm fondness on her otherwise blank visage.

What's wrong?

“[Name]?” he does not notice how afraid he sounded.

His approach has not heeded any mind, though, because [Name] is not batting an eye towards him—at them—at all. Instead, she is strolling to the open portal being looked over by the Herald.

She's not looking at them. She's not doing anything- she's-

Leaving?

Their other traveling companion—a sad thing to note that they've forgotten Paimon's presence—shrieks in fluster when Aether bounces to a sprint, hand outreached.

“[Name]-!”

The woman in question slinks to the side, eyes glazed over with a shadow that presages a warning.

Spears of glittering gold rain from above like judgements of the divine, falling around the twins in a circle. A cage.

They've seen it a hundred times, having known their sister's mode of fighting throughout their life. But something is amiss with these spears, they aren't as... gentle as usual.

For even if [Name] seeks to encase someone, she assures that nothing can harm them. Despite having a prisoner, she does not spill their blood in their cages, not until necessary.

But when Lumine seizes hold of the spears, she cries out at the deep, cutting sensation upon her palms. She starts to tremble in her endeavors of searching for the reason why, but [Name]'s eyes remain blank and cold.

It is then apparent that the woman has no plan to let her siblings go after her. Much like what she'd done to Dainsleif.

Which sets a fine line—a division, a rift between them. When supposedly, there should be nothing.

There have always been no such partitions between them, regardless of the mires and disputes. In the end, the three of them never fail to look past it.

“Why are you doing this?” Lumine whispers, voice strained, tinged with disbelief. Why are you turning us away?

Her hands remain motionless at her side, unsure what to do with them now that she can't grasp onto the spears lest she's wounded further.

[Name] blinks once, then turns away. Her eyes still encompass that faraway look, too distant as if she's locked in a time so long ago.

Then with a monotonous voice, she answers, “... To save.”

The twins go still. Save?

“The both of you are in no condition to be with me. Only after you have completed your journey will you understand.”

This particular statement flies by their heads, far too wrapped around the answer 'to save'. To save who? What?

Is it because they turned away from her wishes to keep them safe, that she decided to go astray and fixate on saving someone else?

“Wait- where are you going?!” Aether fusses with wide eyes, seeing the older one of the three beginning to enter the portal.

“Don't leave us-!”

“Where are you going?”

Is it because they couldn't apologize? Because they took her warning for granted?

Lumine makes a quick observation of her cage of golden spears, trying to find a way out, but no such thing is present. She's resigned to striking them with her sword, but it does nothing.

There's no time to think. No time to do anything.

[Name] is leaving and they don't know when they'll see her again, or if they ever will and it's terrifying to imagine.

Is this what she felt?

Lumine is almost powerless, what with her shaking knees. She's afraid, she's too afraid.

In their time in Teyvat, they come to know that it isn't any light-hearted world they know. Teyvat is a dark, dark world shrouded with false, feathery happiness.

[Name] being far too deep in verboten matters of this world entails risks, risks that may cost her life and they can't bear to imagine-

Strewn pride aside, Lumine shouts, “Take us with you! Sister!”

“Don't leave... Aether, Lumine.”

Chagrined, [Name] shakes her head. The distress in her siblings' voices fails to sway her resolve. Not to say that it would in the first place.

The fact is castrating to the twins, who grow cold at this epiphany.

Their hopes of seeing [Name] crumble into resignation dissipates when they realize that she only looks exasperated.

“Until the time to reunite comes, this is our farewell.” she says, only gracing them with one last look before resuming her amble towards the portal.

No. The thought rings through both of the twins' minds.

Reduced to mere whispers, Aether clenches the fabric of his pants, knuckles white as his hurting throat sounds out pleas.

“We're sorry... please, we just saw each other again, don't do this.”

Five hundred years apart, clasping on nothing but the memory of an argument that tore them asunder, their desperation is understandable.

But even their sorries do not touch [Name]'s heart.

When this is again realized, the fear in their chests intensifies.

“Wait.” Lumine murmurs, heart racing. “Don't...”

The Herald bows as its leader passes by, chin held high, unbothered, indifferent—uncaring.

Seeing it ripples the twins with such dread and desperation. They can't believe- they can't believe this.

It's so hypocritical to feel this fear when they too, often left their sister behind bearing the same insouciance. But they feel the fear, feel the horror, and the hysteria—because people only ever feel these when they are the ones playing the tragic role.

Vision befogged with mist, eyes stinging with water, Aether grits his teeth and grabs ahold of the spears.

Pain blossoms in his palms and blood begin to trickle, but that pain is little compared to seeing someone leave.

Turn around. He pleads, but no god hears his pleas.

“We can handle ourselves just fine, [Name]. Don't worry so much.”

“No... no, wait.. ! Sister! Sister!” he exclaims, eyesight blurry as tears start to spill.

He doesn't even know why—is it because lacerations have sliced his hands? Or because [Name] refused the idea of becoming a family again?

In his cloud of reflection, he fails to realize that the cage has disintegrated and his twin is racing with a speed he hasn't seen.

“[Name]!!” Lumine calls, fingertips brushing against the back of her older sister, but she merely passes through the cloak of blue and black—and the portal closes.

Defeated, she sinks to the ground, eyes wide, “Ah... no.”

Paimon does not know how to use her voice as the pair grieves on the stone floor, next to the portal that took their sibling away.

She left no traces, not even a glimmer of flaxen dust from the spears she conjured. Nothing.

Just another memory of her presence—of her departure.

Now, both Aether and Lumine are the ones to soothe the anguish in their hearts.

“... Come back.”

Now, they are the ones to whisper the same words they heard but paid no attention to.

a/n: yes, MC is referred to as a 'King' despite being a woman, this is because the title of 'King' is the highest (and thus most powerful person) in a reigning dynasty. And MC is stronger than the twins (granted we don't know how exactly strong they are but just envision-). So, er, Saber moment? 😆

@cherryflushz @e7t3 @scarlet-halos @lordbugs @nebulaera @annoying-and-upset @hanniejji @applepi1415 @tjjjrsj @azirajane @hey-comrade-hold-stil @limelightsuperhero @chloeloe @loptido @windyventi @nejibot @ganyuqrt @justrinnn @yasunamilk @uwu-dreams @yvechu @alana5021

[lucideemo]

𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭

— conductor. softcosmixs!!! — ticket. chat knows that they have an significant other. if only they weren't so avoidant on the topic of romantic relationships. 「hc//streamer au」 — destination. albedo, childe, itto, kazuha, wanderer, xiao, zhongli — contains. romance, fluff, light swearing, smugbedo, kazuflirt

albedo: kreideprinz

— Albedo is well known in the general gaming community as that one streamer with fabulous fanart and intricate cosplays. Which, may I add, are all self made (tailorbedo when).

— Most of his social media posts are either Aelbdo’s art and cosplay showcases, with the exception of promotional event posts. Interestingly, the model for every character cosplayed whether male, female or non-binary, is the same person. The model tagged is linked to a private account, with the only information available stating that the owner of the account is a model.

— Naturally, chat got curious and began investigating. In any cosplay post that depicts a ship, it’s always the mysterious model and Albedo posing. The camera is angled in such a position that the model’s facial features are indistinguishable or hidden.

— susbedo 100% when asked about the model.

“Oh? I suppose you’ll find out sooner or later.”

tartaglia: childe

— That streamer who manages to talk animatedly while playing an intense section of a game. He’ll be focused on winning a battle royale while still interacting with his viewers. King of multitasking??

— Of course, Childe has many things to talk about: A dog he saw at the park; the flavour of ice cream he ate today; what his s/o made for breakfast today. The topic of Childe’s s/o seems to be an intensely recurring topic.

— If Childe doesn’t talk about his s/o at least once per stream, then you know that this isn’t the real Childe: it’s an imposter who’s holding Childe hostage offscreen.

“Did I tell you about the time my s/o bought me this adorable narwhale keychain?”

itto: hanamizaka heroics

— Himbo streamer who also has very wholesome energy. Seems like he boasts a lot but they’re all truths.

— Itto can’t stay still for long periods at a time, so every once in a while he leaves his desk to walk around the room. While he’s stretching, there’s a pair of hands that seem to spawn from nowhere that keeps the stream entertained. When big man’s ready to continue whatever he’s doing, he places his chin on a waiting upturned palm which promptly squeezes Itto’s cheeks.

— Sometimes Itto holds the hand when he’s doing something that only involves his dominant hand.

“Hey! Whaddya mean they’re too good for me? You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

kaedehara kazuha: scarlet leaves pursue wild waves

— Calm streamer with an even calmer voice that can make you fall asleep within five minutes - even if he’s reading a horror story.

— Every approximate two hours, someone knocks on the door and enters with a drink, food or both. When this happens, Kazuha never fails to pause whatever he’s doing at the moment to have (as dubbed by chat) “Kazuha’s wholesome break”.

— During the time period of twenty minutes, Kazuha spends the time interacting with the stream and the person who makes and delivers his meals. He also shows off the meals since they look like they’re straight out of an aesthetic cafe.

— What makes chat so sure that this mysterious person is Kazuha’s s/o? Why, it's the very fact that he kisses their knuckles just before they leave and has a smile that outshines the light of the sun.

"Chat, aren't these pancakes adorable? It looks like a bear..."

wanderer: eons adrift

— A streamer that only plays single player games and games where you have direct control over who can join your world.

— Scara only plays in multiplayer (probably in genshin as it’s free) with one person: his s/o. When he’s not screaming to blind people in quests or cursing when he’s pushed off a cliff during exploration by Paimon, Scaramouche is inhabiting the world of his s/o.

— Either farming materials, speedrunning commissions or visiting the heart island, Scaramouche carries his s/o (even though they’re both the same adventure rank).

— Since he turns on his camera, chat can occasionally see soft Scaramouche asking someone offscreen if they’re doing okay.

“I deny everything! Stop calling me a damn simp! Hey, what do you mean, 'L rizz,' huh? I know your IP address.”

xiao: vigilant yaksha

— The streamer that has played every game in existence and is probably an expert in every single one of them.

— He streams in his bedroom with his face camera on. There’s almost always someone sitting behind Xiao on his bed, but chat can’t tell who it is since Xiao has a blurred background filter and the other person is too far away for the microphone to pick up their voice.

— Chat often hears conversations between Xiao and the person in the background, though they can only hear Xiao’s side. From what they can tell, Xiao’s dating this person.

— Xiao denies all existence of his s/o, but he makes no move to hide the banter taking place. Also Xiao’s s/o falls off the bed often, which leads to the stream being ended abruptly.

“I don’t have an s/o. [pause] Yes, our date is still on this Sunday.”

zhongli: vago mundo

— Clueless streamer. His stream doesn’t know what’s going on most of the time, but they stay around anyway because of his voice.

— Whenever something happens that Zhongli can’t make a head or tails out of, such as a chinese lottery ad opening and he doesn’t know how to close it, he calls a person offscreen to help him. He doesn’t actually say any names, opting to use pet names such as "dear" or "my love." It’s really infuriating, but he’s probably not doing it on purpose. Probably.

— Whenever someone asks zhongli who this mysterious person is, he’ll give a vague answer such as "Hm? Someone I live with" or "Oh, just someone I know" and then tactfully changes the subject. This could mean that this person is just a family member, but we all know you don’t just call your sibling or parent pet names reserved for a significant other.

— Speaking of which, if you strain your ears a moment after Zhongli utters a pet name, you can hear a laugh in the background.

[lucideemo]

A Love You Deserve

Notes: Kind of an odd selection of characters but oh well. I’m also annotating/re-reading The Song of Achilles, so I’m extra hurt today.

Summary: You deserve better than them, and they know it.

Warning/s: Cursing and some violence on Scaramouche’s part as well as implied toxic relationship and stalking. Lore spoilers?

Theme/s: Angst no comfort, breakup no comfort, finding self worth.

Character/s: Diluc, Kaeya, Thoma, Scaramouche

Diluc

You weren’t the impatient type, nor the confrontational type of lover. In fact, you were the opposite and it seemed as though you were the perfect match for Diluc. Diluc, stand-offish and mostly closed off, found peace in your reserved nature- never once asking him about his past and why he acted so distant from time to time. You had your own concerns for him, the usual worry one has for someone they love, and you never dared to ask him anything too personal. He gave you a look sometimes that made you watch if you’re overstepping boundaries. You thought that since you had an intimate relationship with Diluc, you had special treatment when it comes to getting close to him emotionally. But time and time again, he always found a way to divert conversations and make it difficult for you to try and connect with him emotionally. You knew that the Young Master was distant, just not to this extent when he would keep his own lover away from him. Emotionally at least. You tried your best to be understanding and even made it so that you would be transparent with Diluc to encourage him to connect with you, but even in that he cannot do. Whenever you would voice out some small complaints about your day or ask him to listen to you vent for a while, he would often tell you of his own troubles and refuse to talk about it when you would ask- giving you no space to talk or even listen. It almost seemed to you that Diluc’s goal was to bleed out every drop of mental energy you had until you two would be completely exhausted. And you were. Today was a particularly bad day for you and you needed to get things off your chest as you asked Diluc for some comfort and reassurance while you two ate. Instead, what you got was:

“I’m sorry, Y/N. '' Diluc says as he turns his head away from you. “I don’t have the energy to talk about this right now.” He finishes his food and prepares to go out into the night as the Darknight Hero. You stay silent. You don’t know what to say to him anymore- every comfort, every reassurance, now feels stale and meaningless with the amount of times you tried again and again to give Diluc the comfort he craved. He couldn’t do the same for you- though that even he would be forgiving enough to spare you some knowledge about himself. You didn’t know what to do anymore. You were tired.

“I see…” Was all you said, shoulders slumping down as Diluc notices and tries to reach for you from across the table.

“I wish I could be better for you,” he says with a sigh. “You deserve more.” You’ve heard this a thousand times before. It felt like an impulse to him now that you’re hearing it again. You felt your teeth grit and pulled your fist away from Diluc’s reaching hands. He looks at you surprised, even more so when he sees your expression. You brows furrowed and jaw tight, knuckles paling as your hands gripped itself tightly.

“Why aren’t you?” You snapped. “You told me this countless of times before. Why hasn’t anything happened yet?” Diluc was dumbfounded by this. You were serious, most of all fuming with how your chest rose and fell with your breaths. Tears stung your eyes, not from sadness, you were way past that point of disappointment, but from anger. Your patience for him has run dry and you need to at least once voice your own concerns.

“I… I’m sorry?” Diluc asks incredulously, his torso leaning forward as if trying to make sure he heard you right. You lean back and bite back the urge of wanting to scream.

“Why aren’t you better then, huh? You always, always promise me things even you know you can never keep. I’m so, so tired of this, Diluc. I understood you at first but now it feels like you can’t even have the sympathy to try and understand me. It’s so frustrating whatever this is.” It was the first time Diluc has seen you so assertive, so angry, at him of all people. Sure, he’s seen you annoyed at little things and impatient with some, but this new sight to behold both scared and intrigued him. “I’m done, Diluc. We’re done.” You stood when Diluc couldn’t give you an answer, his mouth hanging in shock still. You began to walk away when Diluc followed to stop you. He was panicking, afraid, not sure of what to do.

“Y/N, please, let’s talk about this.” He says, his voice silent and unsteady, tugging you back to sit with him on the table. It almost made you want to sit down. Only almost. Before, it had always been you asking him for a sit down and a serious conversation, asking for apologies, asking for what’s wrong. It always ended the same with him leaving to dismiss you and making it up with gifts instead of his time. You were drained of your energy of constantly having to adjust with his mood swings and lack of emotional understanding for you. You wanted him to be better, but it seemed to you that he never wanted that for himself.

“We have nothing to talk about, you had your chance before.” you say, grabbing a coat and throwing your coat over your shoulders as you see Diluc frozen in the middle of the room. “I do deserve better.” With a gentle shut to the door of Dawn Winery, Diluc was once again left alone in the dark, hopeless and helpless against the void of his loneliness. He looks around his surroundings confused, as if he’s been in a place he’s never been in before. Diluc let reality subdue him as he sits back down on the table and exhales in exhaustion. His head hurt and shoulders trembled as he wept silently.

It seems that he always finds a way to ruin things for him. He couldn’t blame you. Maybe he was just meant to be alone.

Kaeya

Kaeya watched you from afar, mingling with others, smiling wider than he had ever seen, and laughing louder than he had ever heard. When he was with you at least, he never thought he’d see you so happy. Now, your arms were around someone else, the source of your joy coming from someone that isn’t him. Kaeya left you a while ago- chalking it up to how he needed to focus on his work, himself, and the typical ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ reason. He said all of this grinning- nervous of your answer, anticipating that you would take him back. He was more astonished when you only nodded, said something to him, and left. In truth, you felt as though you were only there to be Kaeya’s comfort, a therapist. He would tell you of his troubles and in a snap, he would be back to his suave self, a switch so fast that you didn’t know which side of Kaeya you would believe in. Whenever you attempted to talk to him seriously about it, he would brush you off and say you’re being delusional. When Kaeya noticed how concerned you were about him, he went into a panic and immediately tried to stay away from you in the only way he knew how- breaking off your relationship before it had barely started. It was only when you agreed that you noticed how tired you were of his push and pull, his cycle of wanting you and denial of the fact that he does.

The last words you had ever said to him were, “Kaeya, I want you to get better, I do. I just don’t think we're the right people for each other right now.” When you said it, it seemed as though the rest of the world blurred- your face distorted and fading that Kaeya finally realized he was crying. He knew you always wanted the best for him, even now you do, but he can’t even seem to follow it. As much as he loves you, and as much as he wants to be better for you, he doesn’t have the strength if you weren’t there to be it. “Take care of yourself.”

You never looked at him with disdain. Kaeya wished you did- to replace that look of pity on your face each time you saw him drink his problems away. He wasn’t your problem anymore, but why do you seem to care for him still? When you two were together, it was all you did for him, and now, you still do. Maybe Kaeya was holding onto the hope that you atleast carried some form of care you did when he had you by his side. He seeked for it, seeked for you, in those hours he cannot lift his head from the alcohol, craving your soothing words warbled in his drunken state. You’re so sympathetic, always trying to understand what troubled Kaeya and tried to help him without actually being there one to fix it. You always told him that you’re supportive, but he needed to be the one to take action. He needed you now more than ever. But you weren’t there to be with him right now. You were at home, mind free of any worries as you slept with your lover. He needed to accept the fact that you were no longer with him, and Archons did it hit him hard.

Some nights he would lie awake, expecting you to appear beside him, arms around his torso while his are around your waist. On times when his drinking was particularly bad, Rosaria and Diluc could hear the faintest whisper of your name from his lips, like an enchantment, a plea, a call. On days when he would be cooped up in his quarters would he feel your phantom hold- a gentle caress of his cheek or the tender kiss of your lips- on his skin when his mind is overloaded with work. But you weren’t there. You shared all of these things with someone new, and Kaeya seethed at the thought as well as the sight of it.

Kaeya caught you two one time, in the middle of the streets of Mondstadt. You and your lover slow dancing to tunes that were muffled through the walls of Angel’s Share, your figures silhouetted by the gentle glow of the street lamps. It was an action even he was too afraid of doing behind the walls of your home. From a distance, Kaeya could see how happy you were, how carefree. You had never looked that joyful when you were with him. It was clear you were in love- and loved by someone you deserved- to a person far better than he could have been. Kaeya felt himself growing hot with anger and envy as he watched your new lover hold you so close where he had kept you at a distance. When your lover would laugh with you, share these memories with you, he had wasted his chances with his hangovers and vent sessions that ended nowhere. He balled his fists when he saw how you two stared at each other so lovingly where he had averted his gaze when you tried to look past his walls. He shouldn't be feeling jealousy, he wasn’t the type to be that way, but seeing you look so… happy and in love of all things while his heart still shattered at the thought of you made him want to drink till the day's end. To march over to where you two were and break it off, sending you home and feeling triumphant of himself. You would hate him maybe, or he’d make you mad, and the thought of you feeling anything but sympathy towards him made Kaeya’s stomach turn. When one of his knights asked what they should do, Kaeya could only force himself to look away so as to not bring any more heartache to his chest.

“Let’s leave them be.” He says, dismissing the Knight as he too begins to walk away. Kaeya wanted to distance himself from you, to finally be free of you. It was clear you were from him. You were happy without him, it seems. The least he could do was to not ruin you any more than he has; at least you were finally happy.

Thoma

You loved Thoma deeply and he returned it as much as he could. Sometimes however, it was hard to not feel loved by him. He tried his best, he really did, to give you his time as best as he could, and you admired how hardworking and reliable he was, but something about his loyalty swayed differently. Thoma was undoubtedly loyal to you, but it seemed that you were just less important than the people he worked for. You were understanding at first, seeing how important his job was to keep the Kamisato Estate in upkeep as well as do several ‘errands’ around Inazuma and for the Yashiro Commission. It was a respectable job that earned Thoma the same amount of respect from the Inazuman citizens and you. You always listened to how important his job was, how much he respected the Yashiro Commission and the Kamisato Siblings for giving him the opportunity to have such an important job. You listened with admiration, proud of your lover for being so diligent, helpful and kind.

It was true that Thoma was head-over-heels in love with you, but it was sometimes difficult to see it that way. As much as Thoma tried to promise you things, it always ended with “I’ll make it up to you.” or “Maybe next time, Y/N.” as he hurried off to do his daily rounds around the city. Each time, you only nodded and wished him a good day, to do his best while you were left alone for hours and hours until the next day where the same would happen again. Dates sometimes involve you being dragged in to help him with something or Thoma just talking about his work. You listened always, never once voicing anything out until it bubbled and bubbled and bubbled. You felt jealous of the couples that walked around Inazuma sometimes- hand in hand, talking about regular things about their day or planning upcoming dates- while you sat alone when Thoma rushed off to fulfill some other task.

Truthfully, Thoma felt bad leaving you by yourself all the time. He tried to fit you and him in his always changing routine, but he can’t help it. His schedule was too busy and there were too many important things to do right now… and you slowly thought that maybe you weren’t as important as those things.

“I’ll be back soon, okay Y/N?” Thoma says as he plants a soft kiss on your forehead before he goes back into the Kamisato Estate, one of your many dates cut short again. You only hang your head low and nod. Thoma notices and hesitantly walks back to you. “Hey? You okay?”

“No…” You mumble, finally feeling the frustration you kept in after all this time. “We need to talk about our relationship.” You felt guilty. You knew that Thoma tried his absolute best to make up for the things he missed, dates ended too early, and time spent away- but now it felt as though he only made up the little things because he knew it was the best way to make you stay. Thoma’s expression fell as he looked behind him and back at you.

“Is it okay if we talk about this later?” He says. “I promise I’ll make it up-” You cut him off when you look up at him and Thoma stops, eyes wide and fearful.

“My god, Thoma. Will it always be like this? You're saying you’ll make it up and I just have to put up with it until you don’t? The least you could do is to stay right now and listen.” You felt helpless, but hopeful, pleading, begging that he will try again, that you can try again with him. But small sounds only came from Thoma’s mouth as you nodded and looked away. His answer was clear. “So I guess this is it.” Only then did Thoma snap back into reality.

“It’s okay, I can fix this Y/N, I can fix us, just let me…” Thoma stumbled over his words, hands flailing about as his eyes looked everywhere but at you. It was more of a comfort to himself than you, a denial that this moment right now was happening. “Let’s… let’s start over, yeah? We can, I can, do better. Please, please-“ you cut him off. It was too hard to see him so desperate to try and fix something he knows he cannot. He stares at you now, wide eyes, pleading for a second chance- hoping you’ll change your mind. It breaks your heart to watch him look so hopeless.

“Thoma… there was nothing to fix about us, it’s just not working.” You said, adamant as Thoma could only shake his head in protest. “Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be. We have different priorities, it looks like, and I can understand if that isn’t me right now.” When you walk away, Thoma, in a final attempt to rebuild what you two never had, grabs your hand and presses his lips onto your knuckles. You feel his warm tears on your skin and his mouth moving rhythmically saying, please, please, please. Your heart clenches as your hand tightens around Thoma’s. It was the first time you’ve ever seen him so distraught, and the hurt only intensified when you knew that it was because of you. You were so compelled to turn around, to make up and try again, but you were tired. Tired of having to keep up with him and his rigorous schedule, his loyalty bound to another, and the many excuses that by now became something so common. So you pull your hand away, never looking back as Thoma could do nothing but cry and watch you leave through a blur of tears.

For the first time in a while, a sort of weight has been lifted off your chest and you could breathe. As horrible as it sounded, as terrible as it was to have Thoma heartbroken over you, It felt liberating- but Thoma had never felt more heartache in his life.

“Y/N, I don’t want it to be over.”

Scaramouche (kindoff a bittersweet end)

You unwillingly had to stay by Scaramouche’s side. You entertained him and he decided to keep you in his posse, and you had no choice but to follow. It felt okay at first to be by the side of the Balladeer- he kept you safe, had his subordinates watch over you in his place, and appreciated your company. But you knew better- Scaramouche was a master manipulator and you were one of many subject to his deceit. You weren’t spared to his berating and sharp words, though yours were less harsh, but Scaramouche did everything in his power to have you depend on him. He’d instill fear into you, make sure you’re coddled by him, always watching to have him know what you’re doing, where you are, if you’re planning on escaping.

This isn’t healthy, you’d think as Scaramouche would shower you with some affections from time to time to make sure you didn’t totally fear him. You were wise to not fall for this as the fatui could only watch in pity as you stared at them helplessly while Scaramouche went on his many verbal tirades throughout the day. I need to leave, you’d think as you spent your days and nights by his side, sometimes not allowed to go out or just in the corner when Scaramouche is in a particularly bad mood. You were at your wits end each day, counting down the seconds to when the next time Scaramouche would blow up. You walked on eggshells, knowing how capable he was of killing you whenever he wanted. You weren’t on his bad side, but you weren’t on his good side either. I need to leave, I need to leave, I need to leave.

One day, you entered Scaramouche’s tent as you and his crew landed in some part of Teyvat for an assignment. You wanted to explore the world, see new places and hope that Scaramouche could let you go. Knowing him, you know that it would be a challenge. Even the suggestion that you would leave his side made Scaramouche irritated.

“Who gave you the idea that you could leave me?”

“I’m leaving you, Scara.” You say forcefully, but hearing your little pet name for him in this way only made Scaramouche feel insulted. He doesn’t answer, only staring down at his desk while you feel the tense atmosphere begin to surround you both. “Did you hear me?”

“Oh, I heard you.” He says, eyes filled with malice as he sauntered over to where you stand. You’re afraid, terribly afraid, knowing well he could easily hurt you or kill you if he wanted. But a part of you wished for it; at least then, you had a reason to be free of him.

“Then it’s settled. Goodbye.” You begin to walk away until Scaramouche grabs your wrist and forcefully pulls you back to face him. His pale cheeks were red, teeth barred like a rabid dog and eyes shining with fury. You begin to tremble, but you do not show your fear. You know well how Scaramouche plays into people’s weaknesses.

“You don’t fucking do this to me!” He yells, pointing a finger at you. Scaramouche will not be disrespected in this way but you stand your ground and never waver. Even in his anger, in his terrifying storms of emotional outbursts, both of you know that you are always right.

“Who do you think you are? You won’t survive out there without me.” He seethes. Internally, he’s furious; a rampant rage coupled with the hurt of betrayal from you. But Scaramouche knows more than anyone that you deserve better than he. You were kind to him, even when he knows you were afraid. You were patient, best of all compliant. He never expected you to have the strength to leave him. He always thought to himself that if you leave, a crushing wave of loneliness and deceit will torment him for the future to come. So he kept you by his side to the best of his ability, even if it meant you had to fear him. It was the only way he knew how. You were his comfort, his release, and if you leave, Scaramouche would return to his self-conflicts of hatred. Even you knew that well.

“Tell me, who the fuck do you think you are to be doing this to me?” He asks. Notice a moment of vulnerability slip up in his voice. Your gaze softens as you step forward, freeing your wrist away from his wringing grip, tight enough to leave a bruise. You were tired, exhausted even, of having to deal with this. Even if you knew he’s acting out of irrational thoughts, you had to preserve your worth. You needed to leave.

“I’m Y/N,” you said simply, like an introduction to the first day you had met, a reminder to him of who you are. “And I’m leaving you.” You didn’t give Scaramouche the time to answer as you turned and fled away from him. You didn’t know where you’re going or where you’re running to, but in that moment, as your feet hit the soft earth away from the makeshift tent of those Fatui, you felt dauntless. You ran for hours that day, laughing and crying as you watched the sunset beyond the horizon, almost forgetting how beautiful the world could be. You thought that this would be the only day that you could truly be free- Scaramouche may send Fatui to hunt you, claim you again, and make you pay for humiliating him. But after a few years passed, you’ve never once had a run in with the fatui nor did any of them ever try to get near you. But you put your guard up, never once trusting the fact that Scaramouche would favor you with peace. Little did you know that Scaramouche had already found you long ago, but he never tried to take you back nor command anyone to do so. He only watched from afar, in pain and satisfaction, to know that even if you are aware you are free, you could never truly be free of him.

[lucideemo]

The Love That Died With You

Warnings: Angst

Xiao x Reader; Scaramouche x Reader

XIAO

Alatus always lets his hair flow, running wild while he kills monsters around Liyue. You always volunteer to braid it, even putting flowers as decoration whenever he's not looking. You'll giggle at his reaction when the other Yakshas and Morax himself took notice of the Glaze Lillies adorning his hair.

You love running your fingers through his beautiful locks while he blushes each time your fingers brush his nape. He'll take your hands in his and kiss them when he's feeling a little brave sometimes. This will make you both a blushing mess, and you swear you can hear snickers from the boulder behind you and Alatus.

Xiao closes his eyes tightly as another memory of you invades his mind; he hasn't seen you in thousands of years. A thousand years since you're alive and beside him. He remembers every detail and memory he had with you to this day. Xiao clutches his hair, which has grown longer. It's also been years since he's cut them, and he can't bring himself to touch or tie them because you usually do that for him. The pain of your death shaped him into the wreck he is now, and he thinks that you must be disappointed in him. 

So he began cutting them, and the only sound inside the room is the sound of scissors cutting, as well as his hair slowly dropping to the ground. Xiao glances in the mirror, at the person staring back at him; it's the one who failed to protect you when you needed him the most. He doesn't deserve your love, therefore he'll sever the only remaining trace of your love for him.

"You can braid my hair again Love, I promise I will never get angry again even if you put all the flowers in Teyvat in my hair just please...come back to me"

SCARAMOUCHE

You always chase after Kunikuzushi when he goes outside, scolding him for his loose hair and improperly fastened garments. He's still learning how to behave like a human, so you keep your nagging to a minimum. He'll normally sit between your legs as you tie his long locks. He enjoys the act and will occasionally fall asleep when you braid his hair. Kunikuzushi will be eternally thankful to you for being his guardian and lover after his creator abandoned him like the useless puppet he is. Of course he'll keep that to himself since he prides himself being above all human emotions but he'll cuddle you as thanks from time to time.

It wasn't long before he joined the Fatui, promising you that he'd quickly rise through the ranks so he could return to you and give you the life you deserve. You only tried to persuade him to change his mind by telling him that you're happy with your lives together, but you know he yearns for more, so you let him go. Before kissing him goodbye, you tie his hair one last time, and he tries to prolong the moment by holding your hand for another minute before the Fatui calls for him.

He's about to turn around and tell you that he loves you but he decided that he'll do that when he comes back. So he stands at the boat, watching your figure get smaller and smaller.

Kunikuzushi is now known as Scaramouche, and despite his reputation as a cold-hearted killer, his heart still warms for you alone. He's finally free to return to you; exchanging letters is no longer sufficient for him. He needs to see you, touch you, and be with you, so he walks faster towards your house. Anxiety and excitement surge through him, and he soon finds himself running through the path that leads to you.

You said you'd wait for his return at the door, so why is that very door now a pile of ashes? Where is the house that you both share? Scaramouche is greeted only by ashes and lingering smoke. His knees become so weak that he can't help but fall, face pale in comparison to the rising darkness inside him. He's soon drawn to the only thing that shines through the black ash that surrounds him. It's the necklace he gave you for your birthday, it no longer has the shine it once did. He grabbed your necklace quickly, clutching it as if it were his lifeline. Scaramouche yells for you, running around the place until his voice scratches, but he doesn't stop. Until he suddenly stands still, staring at the stone near the tree you used to paint on, his eyes unable to believe what he's reading. Your name was beautifully etched on your tombstone, and he traces his finger across each letter, not fully comprehending that you're no longer alive. The foxes and birds can still hear the balladeer's screams and sobs coming from the Sakura tree, as he mourns for his lover.

Scaramouche grew colder over time, so he returned to the Fatui, where he unraveled even more. He is always yelling at you and punching the ground of your grave. He accuses you of abandoning him and not loving him enough to stay, but he knows it's all a lie. Even if years pass, he can't come to terms with your death. Scaramouche draws his sword and swiftly cuts through his hair; all of the memories of you tying his hair make him so angry and sad that he always grabs his hair so tightly that strands of it gets caught between his fingers. As soon as he finishes the last sweep of his sword, he throws it away. Face horrified at what he's done, the last thing that you touched and fixed and he just cut it. He tries to put his hair back even as trying to tape it but he's only a puppet and puppets can't grow back what they have lost like how real humans do.

"No! I didn't mean to, no...no please! bring it back, bring it back, bring her back!"

//////

This is luring in my drafts for a long time now might as well post it and deliver another angst. Thanks for reading as always!

[lucideemo]

The first time Xiao tells you he loves you, you don’t hear him

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Xiao x reader

Wordcount: 500+

My requests and askbox are open, so pretty please don’t be shy.

I wrote something that’s kinda a sequel for this:  You are in his arms 

Masterpost

*~*~*

Xiao is panicking, was this it? Did he finally succeed in driving you away? Stubborn, overly optimistic you who clung to him like a particularly persistent wolfhook?

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