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Understanding and Supporting Friends with Mental Health Challenges

When you see a storm brewing, you usually want to take cover and avoid being caught in it. Watching someone struggle with depression and anxiety, or other mental health issues, is like watching the storm brewing.  When someone you care about is struggling with their mental health, it’s natural to want to help. But many people feel unsure about what to say or how to act. The truth is, you don’t need to have all the answers—you need to show up with compassion, patience, and an open mind. Here are some ways you can support a friend, partner, family member, or colleague who’s going through a tough time mentally.

1. Listen Without Trying to “Fix” It

It’s easy to fall into a pattern of trying to fix the issues of others, but one of the most powerful things you can do is simply listen. I am a perfect example of a fixer.  It’s sad because I learned years ago as a therapist that I couldn’t fix anyone who sat in front of me, but it’s harder when it’s family or friends. 

The first helpful action is to let them talk without jumping in with solutions or advice. Mental health challenges often aren’t problems that can be fixed overnight, and trying to offer a quick fix can unintentionally make someone feel misunderstood or dismissed. They need time to identify the problems and issues, decide on options to manage them, and develop a plan moving forward.

It’s easy to tell them what you think they should do. Instead, try saying:

“I’m here for you.”

“That sounds really hard—do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t have all the answers, but I care and I’m listening.”

These simple phrases can go a long way in helping someone feel heard and supported. They may need to process information to understand how to help themselves.  Giving them the space to just say things out loud can help them find a better path. With help and support, people can find what works for them.

2. Be Patient

Mental health journeys aren’t the same for everyone. Depending on the issue, journeys can take months or years to find the best options for treatment.  There are good days and bad days, and sometimes it stretches to months and years.  There will be ups and downs, and definitely times when you will want to give up. Your loved one might cancel plans, be less responsive, or seem distant. Try not to take it personally. They are struggling, and no matter what they say, they need your support, even from a distance. Being patient means accepting where they are, without pressure or judgment. Celebrate small victories, and gently remind them that you’re there, even when they’re quiet.

3. Educate Yourself

If you’re not familiar with what they’re experiencing—whether it’s anxiety, depression, PTSD, bipolar disorder, or something else—take the time to learn. There are countless reputable resources online that can help you understand symptoms, treatment options, and what daily life might feel like for them. This not only helps you understand more deeply but also shows that you care enough to learn.

If you need support, there are local and online groups that will put you in touch with others going through similar events. Don’t underestimate the stress that you will be under when you are trying to help, so make sure you get help and support if you need it. 

4. Encourage Professional Help—Gently

Even if you are trying and doing your best to help, you can’t replace the role of a mental health professional.  Sometimes your loved one may need more support than you can give, and that is not a reflection on you. It’s just reality. If they’re open to it, gently encourage them to talk to a therapist, counselor, or doctor. Make the argument that if they had the flu or high blood pressure, they would go to the doctor.

Avoid making it sound like they’re broken or need to be “fixed.” Instead, you might say:

“Have you ever thought about talking to someone? I’d be happy to help you find someone if you want.”

If they’re not ready, don’t push. Just keep the door open for future conversations.

5. Support Them in Practical Ways

Mental health struggles can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Offering practical support can be incredibly meaningful. You might:

Offer to go with them to a doctor’s appointment.

Bring over a meal or help with groceries.

Check in regularly with a text or call.

Invite them out for a walk or coffee—even if they decline, the offer matters.

Small gestures can remind them that they’re not alone. Just be careful.  The idea is to be supportive, not to make them dependent on you.  It can be a fine line.

6. Take Care of Yourself, Too

Supporting someone with mental health struggles can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to set boundaries and protect your own well-being. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Make sure you’re also getting support if you need it—whether from friends, a therapist, or support groups for loved ones of people with mental illness. Make good financial and emotional decisions, and set good boundaries.  They need support, but don’t sacrifice your happiness to try to help them. It won’t help them, or you.

Final Thoughts

You don’t need to be perfect or have all the right words to make a difference. Just showing up consistently, listening with kindness, and offering support in thoughtful ways can mean the world to someone who’s struggling. Mental health challenges can feel incredibly lonely, but knowing someone cares, and isn’t going anywhere, can be a lifeline. You can help someone find happiness, but don’t lose your happiness in the process.  It can be part of being happy, for life.

Source: Understanding and Supporting Friends with Mental Health Challenges

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I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, “I’m sorry, but you don’t have enough money to buy this doll.” Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ”Granny, are you sure I don’t have enough money?” The old lady replied: ”You know that you don’t have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.” Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. “It’s the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.” I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. “No, Santa Claus can’t bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.” His eyes were so sad while saying this. “My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.” My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: “I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.” Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me “I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won’t forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn’t have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.” Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. “Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?” “OK,” he said, “I hope I do have enough.” I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: “Thank you God for giving me enough money!” Then he looked at me and added, “I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!” “I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn’t dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.” “My mommy loves white roses.” A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn’t get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn’t stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Reblog this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Not that agree with chainmail, but wow