ludex-de-flammae-blog

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This Blog Has Been Reborn

As of September 16th, 2024, this blog is once again active and no longer associated with Isola. Askbox is open and accepting RP starters. Or, to put it in character... Richter awakens from a very strange dream. He's definitely going to need to grab some acetaminophen and a coffee but, hey, he's been in worse situations that whatever this is.

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dualblossomspinner‌:

knightofkindness

starlitscientist

Aster could sense an awkward air between Emil and Marta and oop seems the two of them knew Marta pretty well. “So what’s the story between you two and this girl…uh.. Marta’s your name right?” He smiled “I’m Aster Laker by the way~ Nice to meet you officially Marta.” 

“So Blue, Green, Pink and Red. So we make up the cooler people of the story~! And don’t worry Rich, You just gotta act cool and find your long lost dead who’s the leader of the Sinister Dark 5!” Aster teased but blinked when Richter recommended HIM in charge of the gun.

“W-Whoah, Richter you’re not missing a few brain cells are you. You remember my explosive experiments, right?” Though it was a good point. Aster’s stun gun was a gun. “Well..” He took the gun looking it over. Had a decent weight to it. “Yeah I think I can figure this thing out.. It doesn’t look very different to Magitech.. infact..” 

He started pointing to various sections on the gun. “This area has technology most resembling the blueprints to the Mana canon, this area reminds me of thee magitech I installed into my stun gun, And this area is very similiar to the ones that dated back roughly around the beginning to the start of the Kharlan war Magitech.– Tee El  Dee Ar. Yeah I can make this thing work.”

( @knightofkindness )

“We traveled together back in Aselia up until the Ginnungagap, but….after that we’re from different timelines.” He didn’t sound confident in his words, despite knowing that they were true. Though he couldn’t help but to look over in concern for Aster using the gun. Not because he didn’t think he could, but because Emil didn’t know how many shots they had. The explosive experiment mentioning didn’t make his anxiety go away any faster. 

Though as he listened to the blond scientist explain his hypothesis on the function of the gun, that previous feeling began to fade away. Even if the circumstances were a bit strange and a lot awkward and their team had a name reminiscent of a more innocent time, he had a feeling it could work. 

“Where do you think we should put the beacon though? Maybe two of us could walk a bit farther ahead to observe for a safe area to place it?”

@dualblossomspinner 

{❃} “Right- nice to meet you too!” Marta smiled to Aster, trying to purposefully avoid needing to give any more details about her timeline. It wasn’t important now- and part of her felt bad enough that she’d even let Emil know in the first place.

She wasn’t entirely sure if she liked the sound of Aster’s experiments, or if he should have the gun… but, at the same time, she’d never used a gun of any sort. Richter’s recommendation was probably for the best, then… and hopefully Aster wouldn’t end up blowing them all up, or something like that.

“Hmm.. does splitting up make much sense, though? Wasn’t that thing supposed to have a radar, or something like that?” She still wasn’t exactly that great with technology- whatever part it was, she kinda doubted she’d be able to figure out how to use it. “If we followed that, then we could stay together and look out for each other that way.”

@ludex-de-flammae​

“I agree that it would be best to stick together.” Richter nodded. “And considering this seems to be some sort of device intended to map the town or perhaps put out some sort of signal then ideally we ought to stick beacons in high places and on landmarks, wouldn’t you say? @starlitscientist​

The Symphonian 4

[ludex-de-flammae-blog]

dualblossomspinner:

knightofkindness

starlitscientist

Aster followed Richter out though he was surprised. Something was occurring so soon? After their explanation of what… appeared to be a machine elf looking girl, After she wrapped up he.. wasn’t sure about this event. It made him wary in a way.

“I guess it is.. and neither do I honestly. Once was enough.” He wondered how many people were paying attention to this announcement.. oh it was Emil!

It’d be best if they continued with four though, and it seemed they were expecting teams to be made fast. He’ll just apologize to Ratatosk later. He spotted a somber looking girl.. she looked familiar in away… Like.. he’s pretty sure he talked to her before. He took her hand and brought her over to the group

“She can join us too!” Aster chirped “We can be like the Symphonian 8 from the stories only We’ll be the Symphonian 4! I CALL BEING SYMPHONIAN BLUE!”

@knightofkindness​ (Your turn~)

All Emil did was walk out of the abandoned building when hearing the announcement and blinked his eyes in confusion. It hasn’t been that long since they were dropped her that such an odd event already began was it? It was a bit strange…Though what was even stranger was being called out and seeing Aster and wait was that Richter? 

Quickly walking over to the duo, the blond swordsman received a shock of surprise when Marta was brought over too. Almost instinctively he started rubbing the back of his neck- he hadn’t talked to her since the awkward realization of alternate timelines.

“I can join, sure…” 

“I guess that would make me Symphonia Green?” A part of him that was very likely Ratatosk influenced was screaming at him to say anything other than JUST that.

@dualblossomspinner 

{❃} “Wh-Wha–??” Marta blinked when she was dragged into a sudden conversation, taking a moment to freeze up when she realized who she was looking at. Richter, Aster, and Emil- there was an uncomfortable tightness in her chest, but she pushed it down. There was already enough going on, so for what’d happened before, well… she’d just ignore that.

“I call Symphonia Pink!” She put a smile on her face, deciding that acknowledging anything about the slight… discomfort to this situation was not the way to go. It was best to just be her usual self. “I always liked those stories- being a hero of justice, you know? And they were always so cool, too. Do you think it suits me?”

@ludex-de-flammae​ 

“Far as I remember, Pink should suit you well, Marta.I guess that makes me, uh, Symphonia Red? I uh... probably wasn’t into these stories as much as you guys were, I guess, but I think that’s the one most like me?” Richter simpered. “Oh, I think we need to call it out! Symphonian 4, Right?” Richter cleared his throat. “We’ll be the Symphonian 4!” He shouted, projecting his voice as best he could. “Acknowledged.”  Ofiuco, the robot, spoke, delivering their silver beacon gun, crashing to the ground between them. 

Richter picked it up. Seemed safe enough. He wasn’t much of a marksman and while he was sure he could become one with practice, there wasn’t time for that. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think Aster should have the gun. He’s used stun guns before, and as far as I know, Emil still masters the sword, and Marta the spinners, so out of the four of us, Aster’s the only one with any experience with any sort of gun.” He handed the beacon gun to Aster. “Assuming you can work it, that is.”

The Symphonian 4

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starlitscientist:

“You are pretty bad at it. You almost stormed off right off a cliff when I told you your tea making was horrendously nasty only to find out you were trying to make some kind of… weird water concoction with too many leaves found from the forest no less. And that other time, just before finding Aqua you were SO insulted when I disallowed you from making hot chocolate in fear of you burning chocolate to the bottom of our last good kettle– I mean Emotions how do.” Aster was now poking fun at him for the sake of it because, those moments were REALLY hilarious to him. He recalled laughing his ass off the whole time.

“See!! Exactly! Had you followed through without it, I would have laughed but physically you gave yourself away in what you actually meant! Plus this is you, saying you’d willingly use Ratatosk’s ass as a chew toy. I think for anyone that’d raise many eyebrows without context.” he shrugged. “That’s like if I said I didn’t like donuts.”

“Hmmm” He thought about it. “Well, The rest were solidly the one trait. You with your stick up your ass but never laughed or was caught off guard by a single one of my pranks. The other a kill joy but  like.. because they were always depressed about who knows what. Like Richter is this nice contradictory bubble that’s fun to poke. Yells at you to sleep but will work himself to death. Tells you to relax but has the stiffest stick up his ass. A kill joy that says they want you to have fun…. Yep, you’re the most Richter.  You’re brining that up? It’s perfectly safe! Found it and actually tested it since a certain kill joy wasn’t around to stop me. And yeeah I got into LOADS of trouble but worth it. I think everyone was glad actually I created a disaster that’s how much they missed me.”

“To my knowledge he currently can’t preform that Arte… Or at the very least he chooses to not preform it around me, which if that’s the case I’m thankful. I’m a walking bag of many phobias slowly trying to overcome them, and sparking lights still isn’t crossed off yet.” he shrugged

“No they don’t, c’mon sciencer number 2, Let’s go” he laughed. “and some weirdo with golden armor. Freaks me out a little. The other two are fairly normal. One’s a humanoid grey cat I think. And the other just a regular boy from what I can tell.”

“Look, if I had remembered there was a cliff there I would have stormed the other way!” Richter laughed, remembering that yes, all that had indeed happened. “And I just-- I wanted to do something nice and make you a hot chocolate since you lost your pendant and were missing it, I swore to myself I wasn’t going to burn it okay! I mean, you were right to stop me but I was just... trying to be nice and you just wouldn’t let me you big meany!” He teased. “A little burnt chocolate seemed a risk worth taking.” Richter grinned. “Note to self, never blush at your own joke. And it’s very true, you had no way of knowing that my feelings for Ratatosk were a little more... amicable than you’re used to seeing from me. Surprised you didn’t check for a fever because by Martel if you ever said you hated donuts I would be calling ambulances left and right because clearly you’d be having a stroke.” “Ah, so I’m a bubble that’s fun to poke, hm? And that makes you a cat that’s easily entertained? Also yes, I’m bringing that up because that had a 75% chance of going very badly! How dare you test it behind my back?! Still, I applaud your success but... how dare you?!” Though the words may be harsh, the tone is quite firmly playful. After all, Aster survived it, so it was water under the bridge, though he wished the other would refrain from such antics.  “Oh gosh, wow. You must be very wary of yuletide now, huh? An unfortunate trigger. Plenty of people love twinkling lights, so they aren’t the easiest hing to avoid. Still, you’ll find a comfortable way of navigating the world eventually. In the meantime I’ll try to remember that and help you avoid it.  “Sciencer number 2? I thought I was Sciencer B!” Richter chuckled, following Aster out of the shop. “I’ve got a lady pirate, a literal train engine, and some cute girl who gives off a creepy vibe? I guess we’ve all got one weird room mate. And if we don’t? We’re the weird room mate.” Richter chuckled. “But if the armored dude is there, you can just chill and I’ll sort him.”

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The Symphonian 4

Richter heard some commotion outside. He didn’t know much about Spirale, but he knew just enough to know something was amiss. People were gathering around that big bottomless pit at the center of the city. “Aster. Let’s investigate, carefully.” He pulled the other to follow him outside, taking caution. He only had wooden weapons after all. Hopefully that Danger Dorito, Bill Cipher, that Aster had mentioned wasn’t stirring up trouble already. He couldn’t hear much during the commotion at first. Until some strange floating robot spoke. He couldn’t hear quite all of it. Just the important bits. Split into teams and place beacons around the city or die. Once a team volunteered it became apparent that there were also prizes to be won for participating. “Carrot and stick, huh? Interesting. Well, I have no interest in experiencing death. Might as well participate. Do you just want to go as a duo or..” Suddenly he caught a glimpse of another blond head in the crowd. The way he carried himself was unmistakable “Oi! Emil! Wanna be a team?!”

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starlitscientist:

“It’s not that I doubt your ability to feel your own emotions just- C’mon Ric, I’m not that different. I’m a researcher at heart. I see a trend and I’m going to point it out as a plausible thing.” He sighed. “It’s not that you can’t tell me anything, you just need to tell me in order. Had I known all of this, I would have laughed it off instead of nearly choking. I mean.. Richter, picture this. You’re dating someone and your friend who you’re pretty sure is just a friend, comes along and goes “Both of your asses look like a chew toy for me.” If you knew your friend had a crush on you, it’s normal but.. I didn’t know. I didn’t want to peg you the same as the other Richter’s who also had crushes on me… I mean, I’ve met Three ish Richters’ before you and I can do up a diagram how you all are different. One was touchy feely, another was bossy, the other had a stick up his ass, and you’re…. well, you’re more like how I remember you. So.. I’ve been trying to keep the different versions of you separate in my head so that you have a shot. Of course I’m going to be scared, going to worry- Worry about the people who haven’t changed many times over because I got to know them so well. You’d do the same right? If I came along bothering Emil and Ratatosk, You’d tell me to back up and reassess what I’m doing, right?”

Maybe because they knew each other too well it was always easy to hurt each other. He stood up from the table, took Richter’s hand. “C’mon, we should go to somewhere more private so we aren’t bugging the people here. At the very least get you cleaned up. Okay buddy? I’m sorry for making you feel upset. I didn’t mean to. I understand that you goofed. I shouldn’t be critical of it. Just.. yeah. c’mon. My house is big, and knowing my room mates, they shouldn’t care.. aside for one, but I’m pretty sure he isn’t there at the minute.”

Richter laughed a bit through a gentle stream of tears. “Yeah. I’m terrible at this whole feeling-sharing thing, huh? Never really had to do it before. You know me. I’d rather experience the emotion rather than talk about it. Too afraid of Kairosclerosis. You know? Where you realize you’re happy and then you start thinking about why, and the more you dwell on it, the less you’re able to hold onto it and it just disappears like a puff of cotton candy in a bowl of water? I always hated that.” He rubbed the tears away, trying to smile. “Can’t fault you for your deductions, either. Your sharp mind is one of your biggest assets. I suppose if it wasn’t me under the lens I would be ashamed if you didn’t point out such a trend. But I agree, I didn’t set up that joke with nearly enough information for you to have taken that the right way and absolutely went about explaining myself like a dog chasing its tail. Like I said, I’ve never really had to talk about my feelings on the spot like that before. I guess I need practice.” He does laugh a bit as he participates in Aster’s thought experiment, imagining if someone came up to him and said that both he and Aster or Emil or Ratatosk, or hell, all four of them, had delightful asses. “Fair, that’s very fair. I’d like to think I’d know it was a joke, but if it came out the way I said it? With a blush and a quick ‘nevermind’ I’d probably be a little unnerved.” Richter was touched to be considered the most familiar Richter of the ones Aster had met. “Am I still the fun-time killer you used to claim I was whenever I told you to turn out the lights and sleep at night for once? Or perhaps the workaholic you constantly had to drag away from the labs just so I wouldn’t die of stress? Also... since when do I not have a stick up my ass? Didn’t you use that to tease me when I told you that maybe that, ahem, particular experiment, might be a little too combustible to be survivable?” Richter teased with a pinch of self-deprecating humor. “And yes I would absolutely yank you out of the way if you started pestering Ratatosk if I didn’t have prior knowledge that you were dating. Hell, I’d be tempted to dive in front of you trying to perform Eternal Recurrence if I could. Come to think of it, an arte that actually dispells the arte rather than reflecting it would be nice, since, you know, hurting Ratatosk is no longer a priority. Bleh, anyway. Put a pin in that,” Richter forces himself to not dive down that rabbit hole, knowing full well his mind would be stuck on it for hours. Richter grinned a bit at Aster’s suggestion to leave. “What, do you mean that people in tea and coffee shops don’t generally enjoy the spectacle of a twenty-something man bawling his eyes out while gushing over three different people and absolutely butchering half his sentences?” He chuckled. “I’d love to freshen up, yeah. My eyes feel like there are 10 pound weights under each of them. My face is probably so puffy and red that it’s melding with my hair.” He takes a napkin from the table and blows his nose, resolved to be done crying for a bit. “I don’t blame you. I upset you too. We’re just relearning each other’s buttons, that’s all. Gotta push them all to make sure we remember which are which, I guess.” He gets up from his seat, smiling. “Is your missing roommate the scary Dorito? Who do you live with, anyway. Because one of my roommates is a train.”

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starlitscientist replied to your post: actualaster started following you

(BAE HAS SUPERSENSE)

(Homing Bae-con.)

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actualaster started following you

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Team Symphonian 4 Assemble!

Team members;

✤ Richter Abend: @ludex-de-flammae

✤ Aster Laker: @starlitscientist

✤ Marta Lualdi: @dualblossomspinner

✤ Emil Castagnier: @knightofkindness

[ludex-de-flammae-blog]

starlitscientist:

Granted, Aster just felt like it would be something he would do in his shoes. Then again, He wouldn’t have tried to jeopardize the world in the way Richter did. It wasn’t a testament to how little Richter meant to him, simply that it wouldn’t have solved anything for Aster to do that. Most likely he would have either died too or walked away having failed and the destruction of man kindd would have occurred thanks to them. So it was better that he died and Richter didn’t. Even if it meant coming back meant great deals of pain. Aster wrung hiss hands slightly. “Just.. seems logical to do.. something to pass the time at the very least for an analytical mind.” Was all he replied with. Really, because he didn’t feel smart in that way. After all, he wouldn’t have ever fallen into such an issue requiring such a question to be posed for himself. Even if he did have an answer.

Internally that was… a lot. Almost too much. “I think that’s unfair to Emil and Ratatosk.” His mouth was dry saying those words. While he often teased Ratatosk for being a buff version of himself and the fact he was attracted to Ratatosk. Looks played a very little role for him. “They look like me but carry themselves extremely different than I. It’s only very few things we’re a able to mimic. Ratatosk has a specific set of facial expression I’ve never carried on myself before, and the patterns in which he’ll use them are very different.. Emil’s the same way. Yet attraction to my body… and then who they are as a person… Had Emil been possibly my twin, it would be a lot worse… it probably is just as bad considering we’re not twins. Emil deserves to be treated more than just my reflection who so happens to reflect a moment similar to you.” He sighed.

“I mean, if you’re simply attracted to anyone who shares just an ounce of kindness to you.. then are you sure you’re not just feeling devotion or loyalty to the people who give you kindness? Instead of actual love? Because Love’s a bit more complex than feeling admired, kindness and attention given. You pick up their nuances, their quirks and… well essentially what makes them tick. You stated Emil being like the worst version of you , and I’m sure you mean the fact he’s quite timid, stutters a lot, and was abused like you.. but how does that make him the worst version of you? Wouldn’t have setting ablaze to Palmacosta, regardless if it wasn’t your attention, outlined that being timid and easily pushed around is the least worst thing that someone could do? I’m not saying Emil didn’t have the aptitude to follow down similar path but it’s like demonizing very minor traits and blowing it up to be pretty vastly bad. I’ve heard about Emil’s want for Revenge for witnessing what he thought were his parents death.. and while you could say that’s like you willing to get revenge against a summon spirit… I don’t think Emil would have ever ended up completely throwing the world into chaos like you did… After all, he wasn’t rushing to go against a summon spirit. And it seemed he even disagreed with what the Vanguard was about. He still carried those traits of kindness largely so with him despite his feelings and emotions. Plus.. You showed him kindness first. Didn’t you recognize that Emil’s actions could have been similar to what you were giving me for showing you kindness and helping you? Because I’m sure you admired me unconditionally despite how many times I’ve almost caused chaos in the labs.”

Aster scratched his head not sure where to go from there. “I guess what I’m saying is.. I think you should go over what you really feel for the three of us. Especially since we’re similar in appearance. Though.. you probably shouldn’t date until you are over me or something like that. Because.. yeah it’s pretty disingenuous. It hurts to know that’s the first thing you would say when I talk about my boyfriend in a joking matter like that… It’d be harrowing for someone else if you were with them and slipped and.. I don’t know uttered my name instead of theirs. Not saying you would but.. If you’re still that hung up on me, who’s to say you wouldn’t. Just.. Richter, your a good friend to me.. but you never once made aware of your feelings for me. So excuse me for being taken aback by all this. It’s the first I’m actually hearing of it from.. well… you. I know the others who were here were keen on getting very close to me in wanting a relationship… but.. well.. I’ve already told you how those all usually divulged. Reality is too good to be true so I must be a concoction of the imagination regardless of my scar and intellect of things only I would know.” Which was still on his chest. It was nice to have that moment feeling like this Richter really was the Richter he knew that learned but.. it was with the added fact of feelings Aster couldn’t digest in a single day. Did his eyes burn slightly. Yeah.. mostly because it was hard to be let down yet again.

Richter tried his best to take to heart what he was told, but it’s hard to hear, and only makes feel that the darkest voices in his head are right. I really am that unlovable, huh? But he does his best to bear it all anyway. Aster was often right, and he’d be a poor friend if he didn’t try to take the advice he was given. “I know you’re not all the same. Believe me I do. And I know it’s not fair to any of you to try to compare you all. And I don’t mean to. I don’t mean for it to come off like I think you’re all different flavors of the same beverage or something. I didn’t mean it like that. I would never want to treat them like replacements for you, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re just some archetype I swooned over and tried to find the next most similar thing to try to replicate being with you when I couldn’t have ‘The Original.’” Richter felt his face getting red, not with embarrassment this time but with frustration as tears began to sting in his eyes. Why does what he intends never seem to come out right? “I didn’t say it was necessarily the case that I’ll fall for anyone that shows me kindness. After all, Aqua showered me with adoration and I never fell for her. I’m not sure what that says about me though. I don’t know if I’m just doomed to fall for men who show me kindness but if that were true then it’s obscene it it’s own right that it’s only happened to the three people in my life that happen to look the same.” Richter wipes his eyes as tears start falling. “I’d like to think I’d know the difference between love and simple loyalty, but I’ve never really had a good example to compare to.. all the same, even if you’re right and it isn’t love, it’s a shame you think so little of my ability to identify my own emotions.” He let out a small laugh. He can’t decide if he wants Aster to be right or not. If Aster is right and he’s misidentifying his feelings, then that probably makes him less of a sick bastard. But at the same time, it makes him a complete idiot so deprived of any warm feelings in his life that he’ll take whatever he can get and call it love. “I hear you. I know it’s about more than the superficial things an I know I didn’t explain very well. I wish you could spend just a few moments in my body and mind. Just to see what I feel. Just to tell me if it’s real or not or what it is. Because I look at each of you and I’m filled with such... such warmth and peace and a sense of security. And that sure feels like love to me.” He chokes back more tears. “I look at you and my insides twist into knots. Not because you’re alive or because I know I’ve caused you pain or any of that. That’s guilt. And the knots feel so different. The knotted feeling I get looking at you is fear. Fear that I’m not good enough, that I’ll never be good enough. I look at you and feel a fluttering in my chest. Because I don’t think anything in my life will make me as happy as your smile does, or the way you talk about science. I look at you and my eyes ache for tears, not of sadness, but of joy, because you have been more good to me than I deserve and every moment of my life has meaning if I can make you laugh, even once.” He was starting to ugly cry a bit so he took a few moments to breathe and calm down. Once collected himself, he began again. “I know I described Emil as reminding me of the “worst” part of myself. That cowardly side. Granted that’s not the worst of myself now, but it’s a part of myself I still loathe and am ashamed of. But you misunderstand. That was only my first impression. He helped me quite a lot in my toils, even though my goals directly contradicted his. And I’d like to think I got to know him in that time. At least enough to justify my shameful crush. You want to know what I love about Emil? Or what I think I love about him? He can use sarcasm like nobody’s business. It absolutely kills me. And when he’s brave, I’m just left in awe. He tries the hardest that I’ve ever seen anyone try. And he’s flexible. He’ll change to fit what a situation calls for and I’d always thought that was weak, and you know how unwilling I am to bend even if it benefits me, but Emil will bend over backwards like it’s second nature, even when it doesn’t benefit him because he cares about other people so fucking much. I cannot bring myself to give a damn about a stranger half the time, even if it would benefit me. But Emil cares about people he hardly knows. And that’s admirable. Even things I thought were annoying like the apologizing or what I initially deemed a weak will. God, it drove me insane at first, but now... Now it’s just... just another part I’ve grown to love. Even if I could change it I wouldn’t want to. He’s wonderful as he is. Even if he’s timid, and quiet, and bends so much more than I ever could to please others. It’s him. And I would never want to change that.” His tears are easing up a bit, talking about Emil. “It’s the same for Ratatosk. As I’m sure you’ve seen first hand, he’s not at all the egomaniac, heartless, violent person I made him out to be. He’s gentle with his monsters, with other animals, even with me when the occasion calls for it. He’s not overly concerned with what people think, and it seems like an effortless confidence. I respect and admire that. He has a genuine love for nature. He’s honest, innovative, disciplined, and honorably carries out the duties he promised he would. Admittedly I know the least about him compared to you and Emil, but I’d love to learn more, especially after what you’ve told me.”

He acknowledges Aster’s advice. “I know this probably needs a lot of reflection and I’ll definitely take that advice of yours. Believe me, it was not my intent to jump into the dating pool right off the bat. I’m still getting used to this place, and now I have all this to mull over. I promise, it was never my intent to say something that would hurt you. I would take it back if I could. I honestly thought it would get a laugh. Though I doubt I’d ever slip like that if it was with someone else. I’m always a bit on edge with other people. I barely ever joke like that with strangers. It’s just...  I always felt like I could tell you anything. I guess this is proof that it's best that I don't.” Richter felt a few tears forming again. “I know this revelation is coming out of left field for you. And I’m sorry if you’re disgusted by me. I didn’t want to tell you. Because I know you’re with Ratatosk now and it’s an awful thing to spring on someone. ‘Hi! I know we’re just meeting again after many years and you’re dating someone now but I’ve always been in love with you!” And also the person you’re dating a little and someone else I met while you were dead! Haha! Funny old world, isn’t it? Man, Richter felt like garbage. “I understand even more if you’re especially repulsed because of how other versions of me treated you. Believe me, I wouldn’t blame you if those experiences tainted your view of me. Look. I’ll state it plainly. If you can’t see a future with me as more than a friend? I’ll understand. Your friendship is already more of a gift than you can imagine and I will be fine with that. And if you can’t see a future with me at all, after what I said, after what I’ve done, after how I made you feel, then just say the word and I’m gone, forever. I promise. What’s most important to me is that you’re safe and happy. Because I care about you so fucking much, Aster Laker. And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay your kindness. So anything I can do for you that makes you happy, that makes your life easier, I will do it gladly.” A part of Richter feels like he’d be grateful to forget all this if he returned to Aselia. He doesn’t want to remember hurting Aster more after finally having a chance to make things right. He just wants to lie down and die, honestly. The thought that he could upset Aster this much with a botched confession of love makes him feel worthless and hollow.

[ludex-de-flammae-blog]

starlitscientist:

“Get a hair cut and I’m sure your problems would be easily fixed.” was this tea salty? No? Must be him then. Though it was true that long hair suited the other very well, Aster has dealt with the problem long enough to know that no matter how he tries to fix it, it wasn’t going to work period. Richter on the other hand, had it quite easy. Simple hair cut and et voila he’d probably never get mistaken ever again. 

Though he nearly choked at the ‘Gladly use both as a chew toy’. What. Was.. Was his ears still working??? He didn’t hallucinate hearing that, right? He stared at the other with this obvious ‘What’ written all over his face. Who could blame him, sure at the end of it all, things are better between him and Ratatosk, but better enough for that comment? He… doubted that. Which made him then question if Richter had only ever been attracted to Aster physically and well.. not emotionally.  That felt like a dark line of thought, but well worth it in his books. After all, Why even mention it? The other quickly brushes it off with a Never mind and a blush but Aster didn’t want to leave it at a ‘Never mind.’

“What… do you mean by that?” exactly what he means by it. However, Aster wanted clarification. It’d be one thing if they were actually together, but it’s another that they aren’t and he didn’t mean just his, he meant both his and Ratatosk’s ass.

“Y-Yeah..” He brushed his arm slightly. A bit awkward thanks to Richter’s comment. Definitely just a ‘Missed the boundaries by a long shot’ type awkward but Aster was trying for it to not be awkward desperately. 

“Well.. maybe you could write letters with those on the outside? The centurions could mail it. I mean. You remember how to lay out blue prints still right? Laying out house designs is probably the same. You could make the blue prints to the buildings they rebuild.” he shook what was left of his tea, which wasn’t much. “Same plannings and ideas. There are other ways to be involved while being stuck in one place. Sure you can’t meet the other people in person and apologies but.. small things like that would go a long way in conveying the message ‘I’m sorry.’ Something to do while you wait around too.” Aster thought it could help and hell it might.

“So your free time is lessons with Ratatosk and your new hobby can be blueprinting~”

“Fair, but I like my hair this length, and I’m used to it. It’s become a bit of an amusement now that I don’t take it personally.”

He brushes past the awkwardness for a moment, “Look, let me get the trivial out of the way, because there’s a lot to unpack with that.” His blush deepened a bit. “A-anyway, that does seem manageable. I’ve never designed a house before, but it’s something I can do, at least. Better than just sitting around feeling sorry for myself. If I have any memory of this conversation if and when I return to Aselia, I’ll try to take that advice.” He sighs. “You never stop being smart, like that, do you?” He looks away a moment. “A-anyway, back to what I said. It slipped out and I’m so sorry for that. I’m just... so used to being able to tease and, well, flirt, I guess, that for a moment I forgot you were with someone else and I just got much too comfortable with you too quickly. We have years of damage to our relationship, however you’d like to classify it. But I definitely owe you an explanation for that. Look, I’ve liked you, a lot, for the longest time. Even from our early days at Sybak. And not all those feelings were platonic. Which made it especially difficult for me to lose you the way I did. And even more painful learning you’re with someone else here. What I’m getting at is I guess I’m a bit jealous, but that’s not really why that inappropriate comment came out.” He’s really not articulating well, and he’s yammering. He rarely ever trips on words, but Aster always knows how to set him off balance. “Look, I... When you were gone, Emil came into existence, as I’m sure you know. And for the longest time, I struggled with my feelings toward him. Not only because he looked like you, but because he behaved a bit like I used to. Part of me hated him, for looking so much like you and for acting so much like one of the worst versions of me. But I was also very drawn to that. I fell in love with him, even though I promised myself I wouldn’t. I couldn’t have any distractions from my goal and I couldn’t bear the thought of falling for a ‘replacement.’ But it happened anyway. I guess I’ll just fall for basically anyone that’s kind to me. Goddess, he believed in me so much, for a while I could do no wrong in his eyes and as much as that pissed me off because we should have been enemies the moment he allied himself with Ratatosk, it really touched me. To be admired unconditionally. I hadn’t felt that since you’d left. You teased me all the time about how amazing I was and I know I acted like I hated it but it meant so much to me.” Richter removes his glasses and rubs his eyes. “Ugh, sorry. This is becoming all about me and I’m meandering down tangent lane when I should be getting to the point.” He puts his glasses back on and tries to look Aster in the eye. “Look. You were the first person I ever considered a life with. You made me laugh. Always looked out for my best interest. You were smart and kind. You treated me far better than I deserved, which was also leaps and bounds above how anyone else treated me. And I loved that. And when I fell in love with you, I fell in love with all of you. Your smile, your voice, your body, your eyes, your thoughts, your jokes, your dreams. And ever since I lost you I’ve been trying to recapture that feeling with other people because I was so starved of it in your absence. And until I learned who Emil really was, I loved him. And I’m ashamed to say but... in the years of knowing Ratatosk from his lessons and company in the Ginnungagap... I’ve begun to fall in love with that too. And it certainly doesn’t help that you described him as “you but buff and hot and dorky.” because... Like... I’m already crushing an unhealthy amount on both you and Emil and now Ratatosk, as gruff as he can still be back home,  and it just makes me want to know him more if he’s going to be a buff and dorky guy because that sounds incredibly cute and, like, you all have similar bodies and I hate myself.” He pants a bit, having spit out that last wandering sentence pretty quickly. He was bright red in the face and despite his best attempts to look Aster in the eyes it was painfully obvious he was looking elsewhere most of the time. “Ugh... It’s disingenuous to love more than one person at a time, isn’t it? Especially when they all have similar forms. I must sound like a freak. I must sound shallow and awful. I overstepped a boundary, talking about you and Ratatosk like you’re pieces of meat when you’re both dating each other, and that’s unacceptable. My brain honestly thought ‘Haha, funny joke because they’re both hot! And Aster agrees! Say joke! It is funny!’ but it wasn’t at all. It was stupid and lewd and I can’t apologize enough. You mean so much more to me than that and I just jeopardized everything for a laugh and I’m so fucking sorry.” He buried his head in his hands. “I’ll leave if you want me to.” He mumbled.

[ludex-de-flammae-blog]

starlitscientist:

“Well, I wouldn’t mind a dress or a suit. Either or is suitable for me. Besides, I’m sure a lot of them confuse me for a girl anyway. Not sure how Emil is able to fair serving alcohol either with my form.” He smiled “And it’s my ass but better! C’mon, mys ass is NOT at all toned like his. I’m the soft smarts and he’s the buff  uh … He’s buff.” Wow Aster. “Buff dork.” There ya go.

“Yeah, it’s about..” he outlines a circle on his chest, which was pretty much 12 inches in diameter “That big, but radiates as if I was also electrocuted. Any major physical activity hurts, bumping it is like death, and sometimes if I can’t breath it hurts as well causing me to pass out.“ he shrugged “I’m used to it now though. I’ve tried healing it, half elves tried healing it. It won’t go away unfortunately. It doesn’t look nearly as bad as when I woke up after being revived. Before I had to wear bandages all the time because it was still open. Now it’s covered, but still really painful. I think it’s healing on it’s own?” 

“Well.. Dying in hive is virtually impossible. It might be the same here..? I guess we’ll have to wait andd see who’s the first to die because of some shenanigans. I would think of it this way though, Rich.. You’re keeping a really lonely summon spirit some company. How many humans or Half elves spend the majority of their lives keeping a summon spirit company?” especially a spirit locked up in the ginnungagap. Sure the centurions were there but… one could get envious of them for continuing to experience the world while one is… for lack of a better word, trapped.

“So that’s why you couldn’t learn how to cook. You needed a Summon spirit to tell you how to do it!” He teased, obviously knowing that literally anyone willing to give enough patients could perhaps iron out most of his bad habits. 

“Laugh now, you won’t be laughing when you meet him. You’ll turn tail and run the other way. “ He laughed as well

“Fair. You both have really soft features, gentle eyes, and you’re not overly muscular so getting mistaken for a girl probably happens on the regular. Heck, even with my build, my long hair gets me a few too many ‘ma’am’ addresses.” He smirked at Aster’s assertions about Ratatosk’s butt. “Aster’s Ass 2.0, Ratatosk Edition. To be fair, I would gladly use both as a chew toy. I mean--” Way to go, lover breath. Flirting that hard that fast is gonna get your heart broken. “N-Nevermind.” He blushes. He’s more sober as Aster talks about the scar. It upsets him knowing there’s nothing he can do to help and that it causes Aster frequent pain. But he pushes the thought away. There’s nothing I can do. Best not worry and dwell on it. “Well, hopefully it heals enough where it can stop being a frequent, painful annoyance.” “Yeah. Guess we’ll have to see what happens here. And fair, Ratatosk probably enjoys having the company. But it still feels like I’m just sitting around and doing the minimum, y’know? It would be nice if I could travel around while Ratatosk fixes things. Then he and I could see the world getting better, help people we’ve hurt, and still keep each other company. Still, what can you do?” “To be fair, any sort of teacher would have done it, I just happened to get a strict but patient one with ample knowledge on the subject.” Richter smirked. “And fair. I’ve never met this Bill triangle-man, but if he’s as scary as you say, I probably won’t be laughing long.”

[ludex-de-flammae-blog]

Richter just broke down into peals of laughter again. Aster always knew how to tickle his funny bone. “Fair. I didn’t dicker with the technicalities when I decided Ratatosk was a demon lord. I shouldn’t get so stuck on the gender of a noun. It just amuses me how you so vividly etched an image of you, serving liquor to drooling patrons in a little mini skirt just by saying you were a waitress. That’s all.” Richter grinned at Aster’s compliment of Ratatosk’s ass. “Does he still take your form? You think your own ass is that hot? You’re not wrong, but, I mean, you own a mirror, don’t you?” He teased.

“Yeah, that huge scar on my back won’t cooperate with some of the maneuvers for sure. I could do the legwork tho-- h-hang on. Your scar?” It took him a moment before a sinking feeling hit. “Oh... from... yeah. On your chest right? That’s got to make a lot of activity involving your arms pretty hard.” He tries to forget he heard that. He can’t even imagine what such a thing would look like. He’s seen people with burn scars before. With hard, taught skin looking like melted wax. He shudders at the thought. 

Richter listened, nodding, as Aster explained how he felt about returning home. “Makes sense, being able to talk with you here, I already have so much more to enjoy about this place than back in Aselia. And if it is my destiny to forget you and our time together upon my return, I can’t say I’d want that, either. All that awaits me is one thousand years of virtual solitude in the Ginnungagap. The centurions are nice enough, and when Emil sleeps Ratatosk can take some time off from working on the seal to help me cook and talk about things, but most of my time is spent alone. Basically anyone that can visit me has a life of their own. And as much as I want to atone for what I did, it’s a miserable existence. Especially since all I can do is sit there as a host for the core. I can’t go to Palmacosta and help people rebuild their lives. I can’t make it up to the families of those who were lost because of the Vanguard. I just have to sit and fulfill one duty. A duty I may never get to fully enjoy the fruits of. After all, I’ll only live to be 1000 if I’m lucky. I’ll be a shriveled old man by the time I’ve paid my dues. It’s better than dying there, I guess, but it’s not the same as being able to help people face to face. But who am I to ask for such a luxury anyway.” He sighed. “It’s enough, I guess, to have this time with you. Even if I’ll forget it all someday.” He cheered up a bit as Aster teased him about his cooking though. “Ah, I remember that spaghetti. Thought if I just turned the heat WAY up it would take less time to cook. Not the case, as I now know.” Richter grinned. “I’ll have to make you a nice meal sometime soon, with donuts for dessert. Learning was not easy, but five years of doing it every day with someone like Ratatosk as a teacher will drill some skill into you. He’s made me cut way down on the herbs, sadly, but I can overflavor my personal dishes all I like.”

The story about sewage made him cringe. “Sounds nasty. Glad Ratatosk was there to help. That would not have been a fun experience.” He wheezed laughing at the last statement though. “You... you know a triangle who likes to cause problems? Takes all sorts I guess but I would have a hard time taking a triangle seriously.”

ludex-de-flammae:

“So you were just a waitress in title then? Not a waiter?” Richter mused. “You’d knock dozens of customers dead in a dress. Earn lots of tips like that.” He meant it half teasingly and half as a genuine compliment. “As for pole dancing, I doubt I’d have the upper body strength for it but it would be fun to give it a whirl. I’d probably not be the most entertaining sort. Resting bitch-face and all that.” He chuckled. “But if Ratatosk got you both hot and bothered I might have to see a performance or two. Maybe try to compete with him.”

He sipped his tea, listening to Aster talk about Ratatosk’s cats. “Well, I came directly from Aselia so I don’t know how much people like you are able to keep, getting brought in from Hive City, but I imagine not if the cats originally belonged to someone else. Seems a shame though. Get attached to cute little animals and then have to leave them behind. Hopefully he gets to keep them or at least get some new ones while he’s here.” Richter still had a shaky relationship with Ratatosk, but it was amicable enough that he genuinely wished the other well, even if he didn’t enjoy his company the same way he enjoyed Emil’s or Aster’s. Richter grinned at Aster’s suggestion that he get help making the donuts from Emil. “You’ll be happy to know that my food is no longer toxic for human consumption. Wouldn’t have survived in the Ginnungagap without developing that skill. Owe it to Ratatosk’s tutelage. Still have a lot to learn but after a few tries, I think I could make you a decent donut.” Richter took another draught of his tea, trying to finish it off before it got too cold. “As for Emil, glad to know he stood up for himself finally. I agree it is a shame that his first experience in the world was seeing what he believed were his parents die and then moving in with an uncle who treated him like garbage. It’s amazing he became as sweet as he did in spite of all that terrible stuff he had to go through. And I’m glad you were treated well and that Alba or whatever his name was seems to be turning over a new leaf.”

Richter finished off his tea, fully refreshed. “Mmmm, nice that they make a good brew here. But you said something about it being dangerous in this world? How so?” Richter had never been to one of these cities that gathered people from various dimensions and worlds, so he wasn’t really sure what to expect.  

“Don’t get technical with the verbiage. They are synonyms even if I’m using the wrong one. A sciencer knows best!” Did Richter want to learn that Aster was high in his meme skills? probably not. Aster couldn’t wait for his phone to give internet access. WHAT MEMES WAS HE MISSING OUT ON!? “I’m sure I would. many seemed to enjoy my Magical dress. I loved Ratatosk’s better though. Had his ass out on full display in a thong!” don’t judge, He’s allowed to admire his own ass!! 

“I think you’d struggle. Having old injuries and all doesn’t make for playing on a pole too fun. Winded myself instantly when I whacked my scar against it. And sure! He used to hold them ever friday. If he holds them every friday again, I’ll let you know.” he was happy to relay. Though it was absent minded info that Richter didn’t know Aster had a scar from after the event on dying. 

“I think i won’t be pulled to hive again. From what I understand from others, something Major occurred and the city pretty much collapsed in on it’self. Many of us were instantly transported to here before they were injured in the event. I wasn’t in Hive when it occurred. Strangely though, my memories of hive were restored. See, when you left Hive, you left without the memories of Hive. I was back at Aselia not even aware of hive until I was dragged here. It’s a trippy feeling to go from remembering to not remembering back to not- but it’s partially why I hate going home. At home, it’s not the same Ratatosk, At home, everything is how I left it exactly. You stuck in the Ginnungagap with Ratatosk the world slowly moving on and healing.. And while it’s warming to see what I wanted and aimed for come to fruition.. It doesn’t need me there to continue on it’s path. So I’m much happier living my life in these cities with the people I know and care about.” It was a lengthy explanation, but he believes this is the first time besides to Ratatosk that he’s ever spelled out why he was grateful to be away from Aselia. Sure it wasn’t THAT many years, but it was enough years that Aster was an outsider to everything. He didn’t really feel he fitted in anymore. Aselia no longer felt like home but a familiar place he lived at.

“Oh you can, can you? You’ll have to prove it to me because the last thing you ever gave me was burnt spaghetti and meatballs~! I remember it like it was yesterday.” and it was true, it was completely black somehow. What magic did Ratatosk perform to make Richter’s horrendous ability actually do better? magic? Rewrote Richter? He snickered in thought

Aster was still attacking is Bubble tea, eating on the balls because yum~ “Well, think of it this way. Anyone good or bad is brought here. Some get restless, bored, and with enough skill and power, they can create some massive havoc. Last dangerous event  I recall from hive was someone busting the sewage in the area I lived causing toxic gasses to seep from the ground. Everyone had to evacuate from the area or risk death from the fumes. Memories a little foggy but I believe it was Ratatosk who helped cart my ass out of the sector. I had made it half way to the train to leaving the sector before being too light headed to continue. But it can be worse. I know this Triangle man named Bill LOVES to cause havoc.”

[ludex-de-flammae-blog]

starlitscientist:

“Well not in a dress, but that would have been fun! If Emil creates a new bar, I’ll totally request to have a dress this time!” Aster snickered while sipping his bubble tea. “He really enjoys it! He’s payed pretty well for it too. Not even sure how he’s managed to build the muscle to performing all that he does, but it’s awesome to watch!”  He took a seat on one of the cushioned chairs in the facility. “I know for sure I did! You should see Emil’s face light up like a cherry whenever Ratatosk starts, and Even Ratatosk gets embarrassed sometimes when I go to watch.”

Really he has lots of fun with the other. “I wonder if Ratatosk was able to keep his cats? Probably not.. I’d have to ask him later.” It was a side thought but those mutant cats were lot’s of fun to play with. Then again, if Aster recalled, the Cats didn’t technically belong to Ratatosk. Ratatosk was just caring for them because their owner put them in his care while they went missing. So it was possible that Ratatosk wasn’t that bothered… Nah, he was sure Ratatosk most likely would miss the cats, regardless if they were his or not. 

“You can get me a donut next time~ Take some lessons from Emil and Home make it and it’ll be fantastic~” He was teasing. He wasn’t sure if Richter still couldn’t cook or bake to save a life, but he was willing to bet that Richter most likely ate out more often than not while traveling. 

“I still nap as I please and stay on top of things~” he giggled slightly “Though it’s not as frequent. A bit dangerous in places like this for frequent napping. I’d be surprised if someone isn’t trying to level this already barely functioning place by the end of the week.”

Though what Richter said felt partially true. “I think Emil did stand up to him. At the very least probably before going to stop you. While the uncle bothered me in attitude he seemed ashamed of himself. The aunt was overall very accepting and treated me like apart of the family even though I clarified that my last name is Laker, not Castagnier. Emil was probably still at the Ginnungagap. Even so she was happy to have me despite it. Though knowing Emil’s perhaps first real memories are of abuse is quite saddening to know. He never talked about it before. Then again the subject was never brought up.” he shook the ice and bubbles in his tea slightly in thought.

“So you were just a waitress in title then? Not a waiter?” Richter mused. “You’d knock dozens of customers dead in a dress. Earn lots of tips like that.” He meant it half teasingly and half as a genuine compliment. “As for pole dancing, I doubt I’d have the upper body strength for it but it would be fun to give it a whirl. I’d probably not be the most entertaining sort. Resting bitch-face and all that.” He chuckled. “But if Ratatosk got you both hot and bothered I might have to see a performance or two. Maybe try to compete with him.”

He sipped his tea, listening to Aster talk about Ratatosk’s cats. “Well, I came directly from Aselia so I don’t know how much people like you are able to keep, getting brought in from Hive City, but I imagine not if the cats originally belonged to someone else. Seems a shame though. Get attached to cute little animals and then have to leave them behind. Hopefully he gets to keep them or at least get some new ones while he’s here.” Richter still had a shaky relationship with Ratatosk, but it was amicable enough that he genuinely wished the other well, even if he didn’t enjoy his company the same way he enjoyed Emil’s or Aster’s. Richter grinned at Aster’s suggestion that he get help making the donuts from Emil. “You’ll be happy to know that my food is no longer toxic for human consumption. Wouldn’t have survived in the Ginnungagap without developing that skill. Owe it to Ratatosk’s tutelage. Still have a lot to learn but after a few tries, I think I could make you a decent donut.” Richter took another draught of his tea, trying to finish it off before it got too cold. “As for Emil, glad to know he stood up for himself finally. I agree it is a shame that his first experience in the world was seeing what he believed were his parents die and then moving in with an uncle who treated him like garbage. It’s amazing he became as sweet as he did in spite of all that terrible stuff he had to go through. And I’m glad you were treated well and that Alba or whatever his name was seems to be turning over a new leaf.”

Richter finished off his tea, fully refreshed. “Mmmm, nice that they make a good brew here. But you said something about it being dangerous in this world? How so?” Richter had never been to one of these cities that gathered people from various dimensions and worlds, so he wasn’t really sure what to expect.  

[ludex-de-flammae-blog]

starlitscientist:

Aster took the handshake and shook before casually dragging him along “Come on, this way.”he did let go of Richters hand after awhile, happily showing the way “There’s so much I have to tell you about- Also I learned how to work in a bar! I was just a waitress but it was fun” Even if a bit rowdy at times. “Ratatosk did pole dancing for a bit too, wonder if he’ll pick that up again. Emil’s Really good at mixing drinks” he chirped some 

“Probably almost died a few dozen times- few times Was a different Richter’s fault. Irony being Ratatosk saved me a few times. Oh- Another thing is i’m dating Ratatosk. Took awhile for me to be comfortable around him but well worth it. He’s a nice guy.” 

They reached the tea place. “So happy that Ratatosk is here too, he’s an absolute dork. Caylon tea and Chocolate bubble tea!” He ordered for Richter too, paying for them both before giving it to Richter with a grin. “Before I was scooped up, I was researching Summon spirits still, even though everyone at Sybak just wanted me to rest. So it was technically a vacation in hopes that i’ll drown in books, but so much had changed when i was gone and no one wanted to tell me what occurred that I went off to see the world and research summon spirits. Two birds with one stone. The most I learned was there were still some Vanguard factions existing but it was being pretty stomped out thanks to the aid of this girl named Marta. Learned of the fact that Ratatosk traveled in my form but with Emil experiencing most of the stuff after going to Luin and bumping into the people who took care of him. They legitimately thought I was Emil. The Aunt seemed sweet. The Uncle kinda bugs me though.”

“You were a waitress at a bar? Like in a dress?” Richter grins at the idea. Then again, the boy did say another version of Richter joined in on magical girl antics, so that probably would have been even more hilarious to see. Then Aster mentions Ratatosk poledancing and breaks down laughing. “Oh gosh, if you told that to me 5 years ago, not only would I not have believed you, I would have puked at the thought. But now that I know him a bit better, not only do I buy it, I bet he enjoyed himself. There’s a power to it that I bet he loves. How many onlookers dropped dead of his suaveness, hm?” The next bit made him almost choke. “Oh shit. I’m sorry about that. Past versions of me sucked, huh?” The bit about dating Ratatosk stings more than he can say, but it has been a long time, and the way other versions of himself treated poor Aster, he doesn’t blame the blond. Especially seeing as Ratatosk was his savior in several respects. He tries not to get too jealous. After all, it isn’t Aster’s fault who he falls in love with. It’s not Aster’s problem that Richter feels more strongly toward him than he does toward Richter right now. He decides that he’ll just have to remind Aster what an amazing guy he can be and if that leads to romance, he’ll be set. Though he is a bit apprehensive of butting in between Ratatosk and Aster if the two managed to care for each other enough to put their differences aside. And if it doesn’t lead to more than just a rekindled friendship? Richter will accept it. After all, if the bond he forged with Ratatosk was stronger than the one he himself could create, then the relationship with Ratatosk was going to be inevitable anyway. Richter chose to not even remark on this relationship status, not trusting himself to put it delicately how he wishes Aster was still single.

He does smile at how lovingly Aster talks about Ratatosk being a dork, though. That’s love alright. And even if he’s jealous, he’s happy that Aster’s happy. He snickers a bit at Aster paying for him. “And her I said I would treat you to a donut and you’re taking that gift out of my hands. Oh well.” He listens to Aster’s tale of what he did between being revived and being brought to Hive City, then to here. “Still driven as ever, even though I distinctly remember you napping whenever it suited you. Still, even with the frequent napping, you always were on top of things.” He stirs some sugar into his tea. He simpers at the mention of Emil’s family. “I never really met the aunt but the uncle is definitely something. A cowardly man who takes his fear out on his defenseless nephew. Always barking abuse like a dog. I hate men like that. I wish Emil would have stood up to him.”

[ludex-de-flammae-blog]

starlitscientist:

“Richter..” how to word this.. “Let me put it this way. You lived in the basement of a research facility for years. Torn away from family and the life style you probably would of had, had it not been for the prejudice against half elves.. When were you supposed to learn proper coping mechanisms? It’s not an excuse, I know. Any statistic I could conduct will most likely have people wanting to demonize your action with the added knowledge that you had no real coping mechanism more than those who could find sympathy within the actions. I know first hand you aren’t a bad person but your unwillingness to let go became a horrendous cycle that even if I was there, It wouldn’t have solved anything. And while your process was damaging on everything… It solved the core issue that we went to the Ginnungagap for… inadvertently but .. Ratatosk became a better person after the events. Emil Found courage for himself to stand up to himself. None of that would have occurred had you not forced them into the world to see how it has changed. The timeline I’m from, Ratatosk saw me trapped into the Ginnungagap and revived me. I’m alive now thanks to the journey even if it was painful, the wrong approach, and garnered different results than intended.” he rubbed his arm and sighed

“I don’t hate you.. Sure.. you’re really scary during that portion of your life, but you’re not here from that moment. I mean, just the fact you’re Actually listening to me attests to that… Though.. shoot I will admit, you totally missed when you had dog ears and dog tail- and when you were in magical girl booty shorts– I mean there were some fun times but overall it was all about revenge. You, currently, aren’t about that right? So how can i hate you if I know the result at the end is you change, you grow, and you learn? You’re Half elf, If I mathematically did up your age to human years you’re like.. 2 years old..”

Aster took Richter’s glasses off gently and used the edge of his sleeve to dab away the tears of his friend. “Besides! I’m alive currently! We have a lot of catching up to do.. I have a lot of relearning to do.. And I can’t wait to meet you all over again. So.” He handed the glasses back to Richter after cleaning them off and with a grin. 

“Hi, My name is Aster Laker. I’m a bit battered and bruised and died once but, Courage is the Magic that Turns Dreams into Reality. What tea are you in the mood for?”

Aster’s heartfelt words made Richter want to sob even harder, but he dared not do so, not after the blond had dried his tears. “I’ve definitely moved beyond revenge. I’ve had plenty of time to meditate on it.” Richter sighed. “I’m overjoyed that you’re still so understanding. Thanks for comparing me to a two year old.” He laughed, as he so rarely does. That snarky sense of humor always got him. “Though to be fair, you are right. Even if I behaved like a 2 year old, I had 18 to 20 years of experience at life and I still managed to be awful. But knowing that even though I wrecked everything, even though I did everything probably the worst way possible, some good came out of it... it makes the memory a little less painful. And I got my wish after all. Even though I hardly deserve it.”

Richter straightened up, smoothing his clothes. “I’m not going to complain though. I wanted this more than anything, and I’m going to savor your company the way you deserve. It’ll be nice getting to know you again too.” He extends his right hand offering a handshake. “So, hello, Aster Laker. I’m Richter Abend. I almost destroyed the world but somehow managed to make things a little better. I’m learning to develop all those coping skills that I desperately need, and I would love some Ceylon tea.”

[ludex-de-flammae-blog]

starlitscientist:

He’s from after it all.. After all those things. Not during. FINALLY a not during Richter. Just.. Relief swelled inside of him. So this Richter won’t kill Ratatosk right? He’s learned from his mistakes? This Richter is the one that would be stuck in the Ginnungagap. 

“Oh Thank Martel- I don’t know what I’d do if you were yet another Richter from during the journey. So many of them keep trying to make it seem like I’m an illusion here to torment them, that I’m a gimmick not real, attacking Ratatosk for simply fucking breathing the same air, Poor Emil having to deal with all of that, and just. Finally! Not- to make what you went through not matter but.. I mean..” he scratched his cheek. “Thankyou for accepting their ass beating? You’re a great friend Richter, but really.. Never ever ever ever do anything like that in my name okay? I half recall screaming myself hoarse at you anytime you entered the Ginnungagap to talk to the demons. I was just a trapped spirit but-”

he took a breath, he needed to breath more or the scar would hurt. but he was just so fucking relieved he was dumping. “I accept your apology and I’m glad I meant that much to you but really. Thankyou for not being after learning Emil is Ratatosk and going to head hunt him.” did he make sense? probably not

“Want some iced tea? I know a place.”

Aster’s words cut like a knife. But he resolved to bear them all. He had indeed learned. And he knew he was a terrible man. But it still ached to know that Aster has experienced other versions of him that had hurt him so much. At first he didn’t want to believe it, but as he took a moment to gather his thoughts for a reply, he realized that in those times Aster mentioned, forming the Vanguard and mid-journey, looking for the cores, he probably would have felt that way. Even now it was shocking to be talking to Aster, who he had finally accepted was dead forever. If he had been caught in that phase of denial over those two years he spent trying to bring Aster back, or the first year of his life in the Ginnungagap even, he might have felt differently. He doesn’t even want to think about how cruel his 19 or 20 year old self might have been to Aster. Just the few moments of recognition, knowing Aster experienced him in his darkest moments wrenches more tears from him. And the thought that he had attacked Emil. Oh sure, he had done it in his lifetime too. Resolved to kill him, even. But the thought made him sick to his stomach. He tried to steady his breathing, tried to be as calm as possible for his reply. “I wouldn’t blame you for hating me. Seems you saw me at my worst. And I hate myself for it. I want to think that if you had met me back then, I wouldn’t have done any of that. But I can’t lie to myself. Or to you. You know first hand that if I had been brought to you in that stage of my life that I would have been terrible. And I’m sorry you had to live through that. I would go back in time to knock the living daylights out of that version of me. It was awful of me to do what I did, to attach your name to it. A... a part of me felt you screaming at me. I remember those trips to the gates. I knew you would have been furious with me. But I had resigned myself to an eternity of burning for my penance so I smothered the part of me who wanted to stop. Because I had gone so far, I thought that if I stopped, not only would I lose any chance of giving you back the life you deserved, I also thought that there would be no way to make up for what I had done. Especially with Emil and Marta. They were innocent. Hell, if I had even explained to Marta or her father or just somebody from the beginning, things would have been alright. But I was scared to pull anyone into that. Especially after Palmacosta. I didn’t want to drag anyone to hell with me. And that only made things so much worse because without other people, I couldn’t see how insane it had all become. Emil and Marta. If they knew what I was doing, why I was doing it... they would have helped. In a constructive way. And I’m... I’m glad they finally stopped me.” Richter has long given up on trying to hold the tears back. He hasn’t cried since the day Aster died and it’s long overdue. “I didn’t listen to anyone’s advice, not even the people who truly cared about me. Not Emil, not Marta, not Aqua, not my memories of you, not even the best parts of myself. I... I became what Ratatosk became. Bitter and hateful because the world had taken away something I held dear. And it was only after my defeat that I had time alone to just think. And I realized that it was the same for Ratatosk. That all this hatred in the name of love was still hatred and I couldn’t carry that with me any longer. Not if I ever wanted to make up for what I did. Not if I ever wanted to be sane again. And certainly not if I ever wanted to make you proud of me. And I’m.. I’m so happy that you can forgive me, even after all that.Even after seeing the worst of me. I’m glad I’m not that man anymore. I’m glad that I can appreciate you being here and not feel punished or haunted by you. I’m glad that can look at you and not feel an ounce of hatred for Emil or Ratatosk anymore. I wish I had been this man on the day you died. I always said I had no intention of changing who I was. But I’m glad I did. I’m glad I changed. And despite it all...  I guess I’m glad I survived losing you. Because god knows if I was that fragile before losing you that I became such a monster when it happened, then I didn’t deserve you as a f-friend.” He hesitates a bit on the last word. He thinks of Aster as more than that. But he’s lost that privilege after so many years. They have plenty of catching up after all, and he honestly wouldn’t be surprised if romance was off the table forever thanks to what he’d done to Aster in the past.  “But, yes. Sorry. This shouldn’t be about me. I’m just... very glad you’re okay now, and that I can appreciate the reunion. I’d love to grab some tea. I’ll treat you to a donut too.” He smiled for the first time in years. Even if this turns out one day to be some hallucination, I’m glad all the same.