ludwigschwarzbeilschmidt

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OH SHIT

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Lol omfg who did you send this to??? =))

I was texting someone and also tagging on the mass post editor and I was about to say I am scared for my thesis study when

I texted her THIS instead.

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“That’s good! Come, let’s ride my car.”

Ludwig smiled immediately as the other accepted his offer. It was Francis’ birthday, and he knew that the other had some.. Issues.. To settle. He wanted him to get a little bit of a timeout from all of that, and be able to actually enjoy his birthday.

After leading him to the car, he opened the door for him and helped him in, bearing in mind the place they were to go. ‘I hope he likes it’. Without sparing a moment, he drove quite safely to the best French hotel in town, where they made the best French food in town.

"Francis? Would you like to have dinner with me?"

He blinked and then shot him a bright smile, hiding a bit of a sadness in his face. Ludwig was asking him to dinner. How lovely. “…oh! Of course…! That sounds like a splendid idea! Merci!” ludwigschwarzbeilschmidt

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No it’s not that its just..

*hair flip*

Let’s celebrate together.

*turns head to him like a high mad man*

Come eat donuts with me, friend!

*extends hand to him*

So, I was wondering.. since gay marriage in your country is legal then.. *sugoi sparkles while looking at him* Will you eat some donuts with me?

…. What does eating donuts have to do with gay marriage? Are you drunk?

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16 months with meine liebe <3 Te amo Quitita >o<)9 <3 <3

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DIY Aluminium Calligraphy Pen

You’ll need tape, scissors, knife, disposable chopsticks, empty aluminium can, stapler and ink.

Calligraphy Pen for Gothic: cut the aluminium into two pieces like above and tape it on chopstick, then Staple the aluminium.

Medium Point Calligraphy Pen: Fold a piece of aluminim, and cut it like picture above. Then tape it on chopstick.

Fine Point Calligraphy Pen: Fold a piece of aluminim, and cut it like picture above. Then tape it on chopstick.

Now enjoy it :)

   ☞Turning straw into pen.

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i HaTe MySeLf on We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/170297834

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Them: What’s wrong?

My Brain: I used to do well in school but I don’t anymore

My Brain: The people I call friends aren’t actually my friends

My Brain: I haven’t been happy for awhile

My Brain: I’m constantly feeling alone

My Brain: I can’t focus on anything anymore

My Brain: I’m starting to question why I’m even here

My Brain: Nothing feels the same 

My Brain: I’m so sick of feeling so fat and ugly

My Brain: I feel like I’m a worthless waste of oxygen 

My Brain: I feel like I am going to fail at anything I try to do

My Brain: I feel like no one cares about me

My Brain: I just want to go to sleep and never wake up

Me: Oh nothing, I’m just tired. :)

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I know it probably isn’t going to matter since I don’t really have anyone I talk to in Tumblr but I just want to let things out. I have nowhere else to vent out my feelings. I’m so sad. I’m sad and depressed and for a while now I feel like I’m alone and that I’m not doing enough. I don’t feel like I have anyone with me, I don’t feel like what I do is enough to make people happy or satisfied. I’ve long tried not to let my self worth be dictated by anyone else but.. How can my existence be validated if I can’t do anything good with or for anyone?  No man’s an island. And I’ve tried to be an island.

I tried to be happy. I did my best to sacrifice my happiness for other people. Yet they never get satisfied with it. I tried to be selfish. But I end up losing the people I care about even more. I keep hurting myself and squeezing myself in order to feel the least bit accepted. I conform with people’s standards to feel one with them. To make myself feel “in”.

But who am I kidding?

I doubt that anyone would even look at me and say that I genuinely am worth a damn. That I’m good enough to be anyone’s anything.  That I make anyone feel loved or Im in. I doubt anyone would want. Me. And the more I think about it the more I realize that no one will ever want a broken glass like me. No one will truly want me.

I constantly dream. I make believe. I imagine in my mind what would it be like after my current failing relationship does come to an end. What I would feel. What I would think. How I would react when it does happen. Will other people even care? Will I be able to move on from it? Or be forever stuck in a time that will never come back. I dream about if I was ever left alone. If everyone I cared for left me, how awful or painful it must be. I imagine hugging myself in emptiness simply because no one, not even my family, could hold me tight and say that things will be better or alright. I imagine fictional characters telling me it will be alright but they too leave me in the end. I know I must be torturing myself with these ideas.. But maybe if I numb myself to it then I wont be so devastated when it happens. Maybe. Just maybe.

I feel so tired. I feel tired of living. I’m so tired of feeling bad for doing too much or too little. Too fast or too slow. I’m tired of feeling sorry for myself and feeling alone but it seems they were always constant companions of my life. Anxiety clings close to my heart. I doubt myself and everything around me because I know just how cruel and playful and sinful and horrid and painful the world would be. How even love is not enough to sustain relationships in all forms in this world.

I want to die. I want to kill the me that’s killing me and others around me. I want to kill the me who wants to be loved in order to cease taking and just keep on giving. I want to die to numb myself of self-interest. To keep me from looking for my own happiness in favor of giving myself to other people.

And I just want to be loved too. To be held. Like a babe in his mother’s arms. I want to be kissed like I mean the world. I want to feel secure. That even if my face is not pretty or my body’s not perfect or my sense of humor is not that funny, I will not be left behind. I want to feel loved. I just want to feel loved. I just want to be welcomed happily after a long day at work. To hear excitement that Ive come back. That Im home. That theyre happy Im home. I want to be able to work without worrying if I’m close to being replaced or not. That I dont feel like at one point, they will find someone else who’s better and play me for a sap. I want love. I just need love..

I dont know how long I can keep myself up. I dont know how long it will take before my sanity and my spirit and everything thats me collapses. I dont know how long I will last. How long I will want to keep living. Im so tired it hurts to even cry. 

I hope someday I could feel that warmth again. I wish someday I would be cared for. I wish....

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wow

*whispers* you seem versatile but i'll give you an australian kiss either way bby ;)

Oh babe you naughty little thing ;)

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Oh fuck you

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Wow stupid anon :))

oh look at me i react so coolly to anon hate wow idolize me hahaha you suck i bet you are 13 yr old white girl

On what fucking part am I white?

And I’m 20?????!? 

What?

I am from Southeast Asia??? ?? ?

What?

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Your girlfriend? 

francisnicholasbonnefoy

MY GIRLFRIEND IS PISSING HERSELF LAUGHING AT THOSE FUCKING POSTS OMFG IM SCREAMING

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I THOUGHT HE HAD KILLED IT AND WAS JUST BRINGING IT TO ME

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Reblog if you are in any of these fandoms.

Steven Universe

Adventure Time

Life is Strange

Hetalia

Percy Jackson

Divergent

Carmilla

Walking Dead (game) 

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Okay, so I’m back for the summer :)

Can anyone do a mermaid/ aquatic au with me? :))