You're not alone. Your stories, your experiences are unique and so important. No one person has the exact stories as yours but somehow, mysteriously (I'd say miraculously) every experience you've ever had is shared across the globe with different people- some identical, some not. In all these, you know you are not alone. Sometimes the strength in numbers could be encouraging, even empowering. I hope as I share my stories, a few would resonate with you and you wouldn't feel as lonely. I hope you feel encouraged and lead a very happy life. x "Who knew living life to the fullest would bring so much joy and happiness?"
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Notes Per Post
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Celine Dion, Beyoncé, Taylor Swift. The absolute 'loves' of my life!
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Woke up to watch the end of 2021 Grammys. It was so inspiring. I hope to be on that stage, one day.
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Tumblr is my safest space. Honestly speaking. Mostly because I'm basically talking to myself.
15 March, 2021
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"I need a team bc I promise this singing thing gone take off for me." I promise.
Date: 15th of March, 2021
Signed: Lumi Spencer
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I just got the inspiration for a song I'll title 'Firewalls' in my dream. There's a funny story behind it I'll tell later.
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I spent the last few weeks working on my song, and this morning all of my hard work went down the drain. 😢🥺
I'm just exhausted.
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Who taught you to hate yourself?
Why do you hate yourself?
Who taught you to hate yourself?
Who taught you hate the sound of your laughter?
The shape of your body?
Who taught you to "calm down"?
Who told you you were doing the most?
Who made you shrink and hide your true self because they somehow convinced you that you weren't needed, that no one wanted you around?
And how did you find out that you didn't need anyone's permission to take up space, to be wherever you want?
Do you even realise this?
Do you realise that you do not need anyone's approval?
Of course you do but you just can't break free.
You try your hardest to break free but those damn voices that have lingered in your head for so long drown yours.
Everyone you know let you down.
Your parents couldn't protect you.
No one could protect you.
You feel all alone and cannot break free.
You struggle in a sea of acid, the shore in sight, you try to reach for it but the tides won't let you go.
You want to let go, sink to the bottom of it but you are afraid of the unknown, you don't know what's at the bottom.
So, you are in limbo, stuck in a bad place, aware of a good place that you cannot reach.
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I had a dream that I met Taylor Swift and it was amazing but I spent most of my time with her freaking out about making a mistake that could mess up our friendship.
It made me sad because this is how I live my life. I freak out about everything, worry about everything going wrong, or everything that's wrong and ruin every moment for myself. And when the moment passes, I regret it.
I mean, I got to spend time with Taylor Swift in my dream and it felt so real, I knew I was dreaming but it felt so real and I felt genuine happiness and love but these were overshadowed by my crippling anxiety that somehow manifested itself.
And now, the dream is over and the moment is over. I don't know if I'd have such again. And it makes me sad.
I think I'll write a song about it. I'll call it "When the Moment Passes" or something.
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What is healing?
Isn't it crazy, when you think you've healed from something but you've not really healed you've just forgotten?
So the day you remember, it's like going back to square one- feeling the hurt and pain all over again.
Maybe healing isn't a destination, maybe healing is a life-long journey and forgetfulness is the fuel to the vehicle.
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I stay out too late, got nothing in my brain; that's what people sayyyyyyyyyy... But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving. It's like I got this music in my mind, sayin' it's gonna be alright...
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"My boyfriend's back, and he's cooler than ever."
- Lana Del Rey
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What's the worst that could happen?
If I don't pursue my heart's true calling
If I cower and let my voice be silenced
I'll be dead while living
And I know this cos I'm dying
It's killing me.
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I've been thinking about Taylor Swift lately...
I love her. I keep thinking about the fact that she always has pure intentions about everything. She wants to do what's right, and what makes her happy. She's grown from being the girl who wanted to make everyone happy and cared about reactions.
I want to be like that too but it's such a scary thing.
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I'm so scared...
Scared that time will pass me by
That I will not forgive myself if that happens.
I'm holding back and I know it's not right
But I cannot bring myself to admit that
Perfection is a journey not a goal.
I'm so scared, scared that procrastination
Will be the death of me.
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