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luvmywu · 5 years ago

Note

Can I have a headcanon where Tendou tell you his childhood and his bullying and his flahsback from his childhood coming back and start sobbing while telling you I know bby i’m a emotional bitch 🥺

[I couldn't really compress this into an hc for you because I felt that writing a scenario where my baby is this vulnerable, needed a lot of detail so im sorry & I hope this will suffice🥺🥺]

summary: tendō just being a vulnerable baby🥺

warnings: mentions of slight anxiety & bullying.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Something was wrong with Satori.

You could tell right away based on how his posture drooped ever so slightly as he sat around his desk when you walked in on him in his room. You had stopped by his dorm to pick up a textbook you had loaned him, but instead of him giving it to you directly, he had left it in the dorm foyer which Shirabu had said ‘ he had left it there for you to pick up’. When you asked why he hadn’t just given it to you himself, he just shrugged and said that Tendo had been in his room all evening since practice ended. They assumed he was just tired or studying for an upcoming test.

He was abnormally quiet, contrary to his usual ‘talking to himself outloud’ approach of studying. Or maybe he was just captivated by one of his newest “Jump” volumes. But as you walked up to him, you found him with his hand on his jaw staring at the wall. His expression didn't display his usual bright, chirpy attitude—but rather his eyes had somewhat of a....solemn look to them.

“Tendō,”

He didn’t answer.

“Tendooo,” you sang

Still no reply.

“Tendō!!”

You could tell that he hadn’t even noticed that you entered the room from the way he jumped a bit and turned to you quickly taking his hand off of his jaw smiling abruptly.

“Y/n!” He chimed. “What are you doing here?”

This was the first signal that told you something was wrong. Firstly, you knew the difference between a genuine smile and a forced smile—and that smile he had flashed you was definitely forced. Not to mention the way he had called your name...it lacked his usual excitement.

“What do you mean what am I doing here, I came to pick up the textbook, remember?” You flashed him the heavy reader in your hand. “I just quickly came to say hi before you went to bed,” you gave him a peck on the cheek.

“What are you up to?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing, nothing,” He reached for a book that was sitting on his desk unopened “I was just...studying....” He trailed off starting to flip through it aimlessly.

“Right...” You said softly studying his face.

He definitely was not studying.

Nevertheless, he picked up a pen and hastily began writing things down, completely turning his focus towards the book that laid before him. Biology.

He doesn’t have biology this semester.

But he didn’t realize how easily you could see through his façade as he continued to mumble things to himself, scribbling things down in his math notebook—though he was ‘reading’ a biology book—refusing to look at you. You were staring at him. He knew you were staring at him. And you knew that he knew that you were staring at him. He was trying so hard to avert his gaze while his refusal to open up was subtle.

He was shutting you out.

You took his hand and stared at him harder.

“Tendō,”

“Hmm?”

“Baby, come here,”

“I’m studying y/n,” He said kindly as not to seem as if he were pushing you away—which he really was.

“Baby, come here,” You repeated rubbing his taped fingers with your thumb. He forgot to take off his tape after practice. He always removed his tape after playing, no matter how tired he was because you knew that once he was no longer feeling the high he felt while blocking—they felt tight and restricting. He had told you that himself.

He slowly placed down his pencil and sighed, climbed out of his chair, and wrapped you up in a hug without word. It wasn’t a manner in which he was hugging you because you wanted attention....no. He was hugging you because he needed the attention. He was sad, and you could feel it in the way his body was tense and how he had encased you in his arms.

But he still wouldn’t look you in the eyes.

He set you on his lap, sitting on his bed edge just hugging you. Quietly. He was aware now that you knew something was wrong. Moments passed as you two sat there in silence before you spoke.

“Satori,”

He didn’t answer.

He had his face pressed up against the back of your neck, and you tried to turn to face him but he wouldn’t allow you.

“Satori, what’s wrong.”

He suddenly rolled onto his side with you still in his grasp. You squealed in surprise as he started to peck you playfully on the cheek.

“Nothing baby,” He kissed you again “Nothings wrong,”

Finally he faced you with his cheery smile. “Nothing at all,”

“But—” He cut you off, kissing you deeply on the lips for a moment. But it lacked...something.

“I admit,” He sighed dramatically looking up “I didn’t bathe after training...so I'm going to go shower now, okay?” He said quickly pulling off his sweater over his head, so some of his words came out mumbled, grabbed a towel and headed for the bathroom on the other side of the room.

“I’ll be back,” He chimed smiling at you poking his head out from behind the bathroom door before disappearing. He hadn’t left a moment for you to speak and revisit the topic of his odd behaviour.

What was he trying so hard to hide from you? What was it?

You suddenly felt a rush of anxiety. Was it something you did? You started to frantically search your thoughts for what you could have possibly done the past few days that could have upset him. You knew Tendō hated voicing the way he felt at times because he always perceived it to be ‘whining’.

You gasped to yourself.

What if he was falling out of love with you and just didn't know how to tell you? Was he just putting up with you for the time being until he built up the courage to tell you?

No. This wasn't about you. You could just tell...

You could see it in the way he had sat around his desk. The way he had hugged you. The way he had kissed you. You could see it in his eyes.

You looked to the bathroom door. The shower was still running and it was quiet. He wasn’t singing like he usually did.

It was 7:15. He left for a bath about 30 minutes ago.

Should I go in to check up on him? You thought eagerly fidgeting with your shirt sleeve. Should I really just leave the topic alone?

I don’t want to impose.

Wait a minute. He was your boyfriend! How many times has he walked in on you in the shower to simply make out. So what made it different now?

Immediately you got up and made your way to the bathroom, pressing your head on the door. You could only hear the shower running.

“Satori?” You knocked softly standing there for a while squirming on your feet still a bit hesitant whether you should go in or not.

Whatever. You thought letting out a sigh before turning the knob. Who knows? Maybe he was just horny or something.

It was steamy and you could barely make out anything, but when you finally found him in the steam, his back was turned to you. Upon a closer look you could see his shoulders trembling...ever so slightly.

“Tendō,”

Instantly he turned to you and your heart sunk to your stomach.

His face was so flushed...and he looked so tired. At first you couldn’t tell if it was just the water from the shower but his eyes were red, and immediately you could tell he was crying.

“Y/n,” he spoke hoarsely “What are you—”

Immediately you stepped in the shower with him ignoring his protests of how your clothes would get soaked and cupped his face.

“Tendo.” You looked up at him, staring at his distressed eyes deeply. “What’s wrong” you stood under the faucet adamantly. You made it clear you were not going to move until you got an honest answer.

He stared at you, returning the deep gaze and after a couple of seconds tears started to pour from his eyes. His face was expressionless as droplets traced his cheeks, trickling in-between your fingers that cupped his face.

A pain grew in your chest and you immediately stepped out and grabbed the towel he brought in with him, wrapped him up and guided him out the shower where he collapsed into your arms onto the bathroom floor, crying. He barely made any sound. It was so soft so you couldn’t even call it a sob. You had to strain your ears to hear his little snivels—but he was crying. Because you could feel the tears falling onto your shoulders.

Oh the pain, the pain you were feeling in your heart was awful as you felt Tendō’s body against yours trembling. You rubbed his back, caressed his hair, kissed his head. Neither of you spoke but you let your actions assure him that you were there. He didn’t have to hide anymore.

He didn’t get up from off your shoulder but you heard his voice from behind your neck throaty and weak.

“Y/n, do you think I’m a monster?”

Your heart sunk deeper. Now you were on the verge of tears.

“Tendō.” You began, but your voice trembled.

You cleared your throat.

“Tendō Satori, look at me.”

You felt the weight of his body gradually lighten as he straightened up to look at you.

“You are not a monster. Your—” You caressed his face, wiping the tears away with your thumb. “Your far from it.”

He looked away as more tears started to fall.

“Look at me.” You said again. “Tendō, look at me.”

Hesitantly his ruby eyes met yours again.

“Why would you think that?” you whispered, pain laced in your voice.

So he told you. He told you everything. How from a child he had adopted the name monster given to him by everyone he came across in his younger years. How for so long he couldn’t face himself in the mirror because he had eventually began to believe the lies. The fact that although he had developed a sardonic behaviour that helped him cope with these insults, and eventually felt at home with the team—he couldn’t shake the feeling that deep down, deep, deep down in the back of everyone’s minds his eccentric personality that set him apart from the rest had not only made him a monster on the court, but who he was; An actual monster.

Its true that he now had a lax nature after years and years of development, and for the most part—his sociable and easy-going personality wasn’t faked. But at the end of the day he couldn’t help questioning himself. He thought highly of his teammates. What did his teammates think of him? Did they truly appreciate his assistance? Or did they only putting up with him because he benefitted the team?

“A-and I cant help it y/n,” he croaked. He was speaking so softly, it broke your heart. “But it crosses my mind, every single day...I’m embarrassed that it affects me so much deep down, so much so I lay awake at night thinking about it.”

You listened closely, periodically wiping the tears from his face, brushing his hair out of his eyes. Not taking your eyes off him for a second, studying every expression he made that reflected the severity of the pain he felt inside when he expressed his thoughts.

“Does that make me a fraud? God, I’m so unsure of myself it’s pathetic.” He rested his head now on the wall of the bathroom behind you where you sat with him between your legs completely slouched.

“Baby....why did you try keeping this from me?” You said softly as you felt the ridges of his spine under the skin of his naked back. He let out a weak sigh in response. He was tired. He was vulnerable, and showed you a side of him nobody knew existed.

“Tendō, I love you.” You said with everything in you. “We all love you.”

“God, where on earth would we be without you? Your unique personality doesn’t make you a monster. It makes you....you. And that’s who everyone became friends with, you. You don’t even realize the significance you have on everyone you’ve come across—how much impact you have on the team. Wakatoshi, Semi, not to mention Goshiki—who depends on you, more than Wakatoshi at times—even your nit-picking with Kawanishi and his blocks. It’s like Washijō doesn't even need to say anything.”

You leaned your head on the back of his shoulder. “And these thoughts—Tendō, do you know how separated the team would be without you?”

“How lost I would be without you?” You caressed his head again, his wet hair falling between the gaps of your fingers.

“Tendō Satori, I love you.” You said again “I don’t know how else to express how deeply I can say my love is for you. And if my love and the teams love for you isn’t enough to keep those thoughts at bay, then I'll just love you more and keep applying pressure until you believe me.”

He didn’t say anything....but by the way his body slowly and progressively loosened throughout your conversation, you could tell he wasn’t as sad as he was before.

“Come,” You motioned for him to get up. It was a slow and steady process, but you took care of him. Dried yourselves off, changed your clothes—you put on one of his sweaters and shorts, peppering him with kisses repeatedly until finally you had him in between your legs again, his head resting on your belly.

Neither of you spoke for the remainder of the evening, instead basking in each others presence. Until finally Tendo spoke wearily drifting off into sleep;

“y/n?” his voice was a bit muffled in your stomach.

“Hmm?”

“I’m going to marry you,”

And that finally put your heart at ease.

𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

tags: @tsumtsumsemi @mokke-chan

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luvmywu · 5 years ago

Text

ATEEZ as (Christmas) Boyfriends

Hiya, @jingle-sans! Guess who? 😉 I hope you love this, and I hope you’re having an amazing Christmas!

Hongjoong 🎄

probably started working on your Christmas present in July

it’s all handmade, of course

Hongjoong painted a jacket for you with one of his trademark artsy designs

and wrote you a song

super nervous about giving you your gifts even though he knows you’ll love them

waits until the very last minute before he finally psychs himself up to do it

you unwrap the jacket first while he babbles adorably about his ~vision~ for the design

wants you to try it on so he can take a picture and put it on his Instagram

then he tells you your other present is something he recorded

he gets out his laptop and holds your hand tight while he presses play on the track he wrote

it’s not going to be your typical love song

instead, it’s something completely you and it knocks you off your feet

you might even cry a little, which worries him

just make sure you let him know how much you love it

and him

that’s all he really wants for Christmas

(but he loves everything you got him too)

Seonghwa 🎄

a Classy Guy

plans a whole evening as close to Christmas as you two can get with your busy schedules

you go out to dinner at your favorite “only once a year” restaurant and he insists you order whatever you want

he even tries to point you towards the priciest thing on the menu

also insists you share a dessert

your first gift comes wrapped around the rim of your champagne glass

(you don’t really like champagne, and neither does he, but he insisted, because Christmas)

it’s a beautiful bracelet that’s just your style, and he helps you put it on with sparkling eyes

after dinner, you go out dancing and he holds you close for every song, singing in your ear softly

it’s kinda swoon-worthy, to be honest

you head home after an hour or two, both a little giggly and giddy from the amazing night you just had

but it’s not over yet

never underestimate Park Seonghwa

he’s got one more present to give you

listen, we’re keeping it PG like we’re supposed to

but it’s him

the present is him, iykwim

so enjoy ;)

Yunho 🎄

THIS BOY

this boy LOVES Christmas

almost as much as he loves you

the thing is, he’s not that great at gift giving

he honestly has no idea where to start

he’s been trying to get you to drop hints about what you might like for months

it’s just not really working out the way he hoped it would

he tried asking the other members for advice

that backfired

(Yunho should have learned by now never to ask Mingi anything unless he doesn’t mind a completely ridiculous answer)

finally, it’s down to the wire on Christmas Eve and he’s still empty-handed

so he sits down, and just starts to write

he writes down all the things he loves about Christmas

and how getting to spend it with you makes him love it even more

he makes sure you know how lucky he feels to have you, and hopes the gesture is enough to make you happy

he gets his answer later that night as he watches you read his messy scrawl with tears in your eyes

(and if he tears up a bit too, nobody else has to know)

Yeosang 🎄

he’s not really the most romantic guy out there

but this year, Yeosang’s determined to make up for that on Christmas

he knows you love sweets and cookies, so he decides to try baking for the first time ever

it goes about as well as expected

y i k e s

after the smoke (metaphorical and otherwise) clears from the kitchen, he tries to salvage as many of the candy cane shaped cookies as he can

he ends up with about four decent ones, and the two of you end up on the couch

with a mountain of takeout and your four good cookies and a stack of Christmas movies to watch

you can tell he’s disappointed in himself for not doing a perfect job

so you make sure to let him know that those few cookies are the best ones you’ve ever eaten, honestly

you make a big show of mmmm-ing and complimenting, and he thinks you’re being absolutely silly

but he loves it anyway, because he knows it’s to cheer him up

by the time you’re a few movies in, with his head on your lap and your fingers running through his hair

he’s decided this just might be his favorite Christmas so far

he’s also decided that his New Year’s resolution should be to actually learn how to bake cookies before next Christmas

just so he can make up for the atrocities he committed against double chocolate chip

(his words, not yours)

San 🎄

nothing gets San more excited than holidays

any holiday, really

but especially ones where he gets to shower his loved ones with presents and affection

he goes out of his way to make each gift for you as sentimental and memorable as possible

he’s been working on this since December 26th of last year, after all

all those things you saw in shop windows when you were out together and mentioned once, then forgot about?

he didn’t

they’re yours now

(the ones he didn’t give you already for your birthday, that is)

he literally does not care if he even GETS any presents in return

he does, of course, but that’s not the point

the point is the way he’s practically beaming with happiness and love watching how you react to every carefully wrapped package

he can’t help stealing kisses every time you blush or smile

they only make you blush and smile more, so, vicious cycle

that he perpetuates to the highest degree

anyway, every gift is tied to a memory the two of you made together

everything means so much to both of you

and he wouldn’t have it any other way

Mingi 🎄

oh, were you not planning on getting spoiled this Christmas?

too bad

it’s happening

Mingi loves showering you with gifts and presents

he loves it so much that the gifts probably start popping up about a week in advance

he tried to wait, honestly, but he was just so excited about seeing you in the new outfit he knows you’ll love

that’s the thing about Mingi - he’s real, real good at figuring out what you’ll love, without you ever saying a word

he just knows you in and out

and there’s no better time to put that knowledge to use than on Christmas

(it helps that he tends to buy things that he’ll also enjoy on some level)

whether it’s matching couples’ necklaces so everyone knows how proud he is that you’re his

or something simple, like a video game you can play together

everything is designed to bring you closer together

maybe even physically

hello, giant fuzzy blanket big enough for you both to snuggle under

you might want to chide him for going a bit overboard, both in volume and price of gifts

but seeing him so happy and in love and pleased with himself is kind of priceless

Wooyoung 🎄

home for the holidays?

Wooyoung’s never heard of her

instead, get ready for an entire Christmas adventure

there’s definitely a road trip involved

not that he bothered to bring a map

you just pile into the car the morning of Christmas Eve and go

he may be a little crazy sometimes, but if there’s one thing you can trust in about Wooyoung

it’s his ability to find his way to the perfect spot for the two of you

sure enough, you happen upon a gorgeous lake a few hours into your trip

it’s only after you park that you realize he’s brought a tent, a small heater, loads of blankets and pillows, and enough food to get you through until the morning

you never thought you were the camping type

or even the outdoorsy type

but ever since you met, he’s been showing you sides of yourself you didn’t know existed

later that evening, when the whole world is still and dark and you’re laying on your backs staring at the stars together, he hands you your Christmas present

it’s nothing more than a piece of paper, but the words at the top say “Star Registry”

shyly, he says that he bought you a star and gave it your name

and as your lips meet, you think to yourself that no star in the whole sky could shine as brightly as the two of you do together

Jongho 🎄

your Christmas together starts bright and early

he shows up first thing in the morning with breakfast

(it’s honestly just some muffins and juice he picked up at the bakery on the walk over, but it’s delicious)

after you eat, Jongho helps you finish wrapping all the gifts you’ve gathered for family and friends

then the two of you head out to celebrate with your family

you try not to think about meeting his parents for the first time the next day

he keeps telling you it’s going to be just fine

your family loves Jongho

they put him to work in the kitchen right away when you arrive

and seeing him fit right in with the people you love most makes you smile

it’s a long day of games, movies and gifts before the two of you make it back to your place

you’ve just started tidying up a bit when he walks up to you, a nervous smile on his face

he hands you a small box with an even smaller bow on it

and inside you find a simple heart shaped locket that he’s put a picture of you together in

you ask him to help you put it on

trying not to shiver as his warm fingers graze your neck gently

but you can’t quite stop the goosebumps that wander up your arms when he turns you around

and tells you he loves you for the very first time

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