m1k-019
m1k-019
M1K
225 posts
“We were lovers lost from the very beginning.”
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m1k-019 · 29 days ago
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family jewels - moral orel animatic ⛪✝️
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m1k-019 · 1 month ago
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my personal HC
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m1k-019 · 1 month ago
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maybe in another universe
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m1k-019 · 1 month ago
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"Bloberta made Clay drink so-"
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OKAY, BUT DO YOU KNOW WHY?
Let me explain
'Help'.
A very important word when describing Bloberta.
First, it is integral to understand that Bloberta feels torturously alone and unwanted. Her friends are all getting married while she has no one.
She isn't clever enough to help Censordoll.
Her own family leaves her out of the family choir. 
And the only crumb of validation she is offered is from her mother.
“Why don't you help me out and… Clean your room?” Note even the slight pause her mother has, as if she doesn't even know what to do with Bloberta.
Next, we see her trudge to her room. And what does she hide under the covers of her bed?
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A flask.
She turns to alcohol when she is confronted with how unwanted she is. But where did that draw to alcohol come from?
We know she comes from a home where she is ultimately ignored and seen as valueless by everyone except one person.
Her Father.
I have a lot of thoughts about Bloberta and Raymond's relationship (the one scene where they interact just UGH LIVES IN MY HEAD) but the main thing to get away from it is that she associates the act of drinking with her Father.
A man who, without alcohol, is unable to speak his mind at all. He drinks to better tolerate his situation and his wife, who clearly doesn't value his words or opinions.
But Bloberta is very receptive to her Father, she greatly values his company and his thoughts and she finds comfort in being around him. She feels like someone cares about her and values her even if she knows he can't change anything.
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Notice that despite her desperation to speak with her father, to form that connection that would validate her, she can't even touch him because she knows doing so would break the frail connection they have currently. Her Father is so reserved that at this point, any unexpected emotional reach would immediately cause him to shut down and retreat. Demonstrated just by him closing up immediately after she told him she loved him.
So how does this affect Blobertas perception of alcohol?
Well she says it herself.
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"I think it helps us to be better people".
This rationality was reinforced by the small acts of kindness her father would show her.
And we don't have any reason to believe she is lying about this because up until the night of the reception, she's experienced nothing that contradicts this belief.
Bloberta's reliance on alcohol can be seen as her reaching for a solution to her need to feel wanted. She knows she's left out, both by friends and family. But if she believes drinking can make you become a better person? Then of course she would drink, because maybe then someone will want her.
What does she say directly after that?
"My Father drinks.”
Further insinuating her belief that he is good and he is the main reason she sees alcohol as a positive force.
She thought it would genuinely help Clay.
There's that word again.
Importantly, notice her clear anxiety and tenseness in her beginning interactions with Clay. From her first question, their conversation began falling apart.
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So what happened?
Just after the wedding, she was almost suave in the way she invited Clay to the reception.
Why was she so nervous now?
Well, in her eyes, this was her chance.
After an undisclosed time of having no luck she finally convinces a handsome single man to have some semblance of a date with her.
She NEEDS this to go well.
So she's obviously anxious and stressed, and that's showing, but she figures that some drinks will make it easier for both of them. She's full panicking because she feels it's just so normal to drink, especially socially, and she can't understand why he wouldn't drink. She has no frame of reference for that mindset.
Things are already awkward between them once they settle in, and its not getting better. So of course she is going to fall back on what makes things easier for her.
And initially things are looking up.
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Suddenly Clay's more talkative, and more receptive to what she's saying.
He's complimenting her.
He says she helped him.
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The one thing she wants more than anything is to feel useful, she wants to be able to fit into that role that everyone expects her to so that she can be of worth to someone.
She isn't worth it to her peers,
she isn't worth it to her family,
but she could be worth it to him.
This only reinforces her resolve. 
This is it.
She is going to finally find her place to fit in, and everyone will welcome her with open arms as she finally finds her place in the role society has chosen for her.
But it's not that simple.
Things go south quickly, Clay doesn't want these things that Bloberta has to have. 
But she needs them.
To Bloberta, those things are proof of your value. The value society, friends, and family place on you.
Who would she be if she couldn't attain that value?
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We again recognize that Bloberta has a fixation on being helpful. Helpfulness is the clearest indication of one's value, after all.
After being turned away by Clay, she immediately returns to a default ‘helpful’ act, cleaning. Just like her mother would tell her to do. But this was still her only chance, and Clay had already told her she had helped him. If she could only help him again, then maybe she had a chance at the real value she craved.
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Once her anger passes and Clay sobers up, she returns to him and paints herself as ‘helpful’ as possible. She's desperate for that validation again, and if he would agree to her help then everything would certainly be fine.
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She is practically begging him, help becomes a plea for him to save her from the pain of her day to day.
She hopes more than anything he will accept her and make all her pain go away.
He does accept, but in exchange, her previous world view is shattered.
Drinks don't help you become a better person.
They just help your true nature come out.
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m1k-019 · 2 months ago
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m1k-019 · 2 months ago
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mother of the year
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m1k-019 · 3 months ago
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good pride to everyone and william
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m1k-019 · 7 months ago
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New threats, new holder, new era
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m1k-019 · 7 months ago
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space buddies
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m1k-019 · 8 months ago
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ORT Xibalba
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1x:
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m1k-019 · 8 months ago
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My FGO hot takes are that Camazotz, ORT, and Tametomo are the sexiest characters.
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cuties.
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m1k-019 · 9 months ago
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with the end of this batch, we can all agree that Morena is one of the best things ever happened to HxH.
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m1k-019 · 9 months ago
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— Even if it's a fake, stay by my side
➵ Hikaru Ga Shinda Natsu PV 01
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m1k-019 · 9 months ago
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Several notion Edeia I've made in recent months!
Edeia Site | Edeia Discord | Personal Website
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m1k-019 · 9 months ago
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all i have to say about tales of arcadia is steve x skrael sloppy yaoi
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m1k-019 · 9 months ago
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m1k-019 · 9 months ago
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Weeell
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2022 - 2024
The result of powerful hyperfixation ✌🏻😗
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