madeofcloudss

[madeofcloudss]

I've really been trying to heal and recover, yet here I am every couple of months. I don't feel I will ever be able to recover because I loved the way I felt when I was at my lowest weight. And now that I am gaining "healthy" weight back on, I hate it, I hate my life and I just feel like a vile creature. I want to feel sick and be tiny. And I hate myself for it.

[madeofcloudss]

C4$

A2%

[madeofcloudss]

Me after every meal ever

[madeofcloudss]

Me coming back to this community after a major inconvenient thinking I was healed.

[madeofcloudss]

Me: starting to recuperate from horrible emotional trauma that made me lose appetite and lose a bunch of weight.

My ed brain: "let's do that again!"

Me: "what are you talking about??"

My ed brain: "you know... let's go through all that pain and agony again so you can finally be skinny ofc!! 🤗"

Me:

[madeofcloudss]

When I thought I was doing fine finally, my brain literally said "nah fuck that"

So here I am... back on my bs 😗✌

[madeofcloudss]

I'm at this stage where I hate myself so deeply that I don't even want to starve myself to look cute anymore or skinny. I want to starve myself for being such a worthless piece of garbage.

[madeofcloudss]

I hate everything

[madeofcloudss]

Starving myself tomorrow with only 200 cals because I'm a fat fuck that can't control herself 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

[madeofcloudss]

Haven't eaten anything the entire day today. And somehow my body decides to get bloated for no fucking reason like.. bitch you've had air today, tf are you getting bloated at?..

[madeofcloudss]

Starting new year right 🎊

Yesterday nothing I put on looked remotely normal and I ended up eating like a fucking pig... 🤗

[madeofcloudss]

Man, can't wait enough for the day when I can use crop tops without looking absolutely vile...

[madeofcloudss]

Ngl pretty proud seeing how my appetite is diminishing. Past couple of days I've been so cranky and irritated. But today I'm barely hungry even going over my fasting goal and I'm feeling fine. I wish my weight would go down too 😒

[madeofcloudss]

Reblog if you’re

- 21+

- post ED related stuff/have an ed (NOT pro Ana)

- are active in dec 2020

I need more mutuals

[madeofcloudss]

Imagine wearing skin tight clothes without looking like a sausage link.

Can't relate

[madeofcloudss]

[madeofcloudss]

Aight, I know that these holidays are tough for a lot of us so... I'm gonna give out a tip eventhough I'm not pro.

So instead of using laxatives which can be harmful in the long run try buying aloe vera juice. Drink about a tea cup of it and you will be going to the bathroom in about an hour or 2. Plus aloe vera is really good for you.

In my personal experience it has worked even better and faster than some laxatives, but everyone's different so..