magicalcorvid

[magicalcorvid]

the whole "lipstick on a pig" thing makes no sense because the second we gave a pig access to makeup she became god's cuntiest soldier

[magicalcorvid]

Do you think if Gortash got pregnant by Durge, he would get an a-bane-tion because having a Bhaalspawn child would be a (political) nightmare, or would he baby trap Durge to control him?

[magicalcorvid]

the greatest stories ever told ...

have a hero who must be bold — !

i dont think ill ever get over how my tumblr watermark looks like 'slut' esp beside paul 'definitely a virgin til his 30s' matthews 😭

close-ups under the cut !!

reblogs appreciated !!

[magicalcorvid]

I drew something very self-indulgent for my birthday - a young Gale :>

[magicalcorvid]

“You can’t make me forget you… i couldn’t forget you, even if i tried”

AAUWGRH THEY MAKE ME SO ILL I LOVE THEM WAY TOO MUCH IVE BEEN MEANING TO DRAW THEM FOR SO LONG

i was sobbing the first time i watched killer track, it instantly became my favourite nightmare time and will be forever AUGHHH

they make me so ill i miss them so much i need more content of them like yesterday

STARKIDDD, GIVE ME MORE HALLOWEANE CONTENT, AND MY LIFE, IS YOURS

[magicalcorvid]

Oh Tara, we’re really in it now….

[magicalcorvid]

I was just thinking—for fun—about how I picture Astarion’s radiant hopeful ending after the six-month celebration following the events of Baldur’s Gate 3. Sometimes you come across such absurd takes that you just go “meh,” honestly. Like, him living in the sewers, lol—why, exactly? Or him setting himself on fire the moment Tav/Durge passes away, because let’s face it, our character is apparently the only valid reason for this poor little vampy-boy’s existence (level 12 adventurer and hero who defeated the Netherbrain, sure).

Naturally, I’m focusing on the single ending—not because I don’t enjoy the romance, but because it sparks my imagination more.

I picture this vampire spawn with his small, well-kept apartment in Baldur’s Gate. A ground floor with a cozy sitting room, a hearth, and lovely wide windows letting in the light of lanterns and the chatter of the city’s nightlife. A staircase leads down to the bedroom and bath in the basement—safety first, of course, since sunlight isn’t ideal during naps. Two kinds of curtains hang from the top of the windows: a lighter, hand-embroidered one made by him, and a heavier, darker one to block out the sun.

Near the hearth is a little sewing corner and a mannequin proudly displaying his latest tailoring projects. At the foot of the small workspace sits a basket filled with spools of thread and fabric samples. On the table: patterns, needles, scissors, thimbles, and everything else he needs to work. There are always flowers on the mantel and the table—some brought straight from Shadowheart’s meadow. He wrinkles his nose, but keeps them anyway; he likes remembering how vibrant their colors are.

On the other side of the hearth is a small bookcase and an armchair full of pillows. There’s a brightly colored fuzzy throw he enjoys for the texture. That’s where he relaxes alone when he has time to read something interesting. Gale makes sure to bring him a new tome every month. There’s a stack of boring books on the floor—those come straight from Waterdeep and he can’t bring himself to throw them away. The good ones are neatly shelved, except for the one he’s currently reading, which rests on the armrest, waiting to be picked up again.

Nearby is a three-legged wooden stool, carved with floral patterns—useful for sitting by the fire or as a footrest. Halsin gifted it to him. The sideboard is well-stocked with plates, glasses, tablecloths, pots, cutlery, and all kinds of utensils. Not just any kind—he likes them refined, even if he doesn’t use them. Gotta impress the guests! And even though he doesn’t eat human food, there’s always bread and cheese on the kitchen counter. Sausages hang from the hooks. One drawer hides rigged cards and dice—only he knows how to make them work.

Next to the sideboard is a small rack for vintage bottles. Only the finest wines (many stolen) in House Ancunin! Guests are few and carefully selected from his inner circle. He values privacy and discretion, especially with those he doesn’t fully trust. He has standards! Lol. That’s why he’s rigged some traps at the entrance. Trust is good, but caution is better—especially when he’s away or asleep downstairs.

The bedroom features a luxurious canopy bed—probably the most expensive item in the house—draped with rich fabric all the way to the floor. Pillows everywhere, in every color and shape. He usually sleeps naked, in black silk sheets. The wardrobe is filled with outfits for every occasion. Many he made himself, some were custom-made by Figaro when he wanted to treat himself, and some he just flat-out stole from rich bastards. Astarion Ancunin is a fashion icon, after all.

Naturally, there are also simpler, comfortable clothes suited to his work. At the foot of the bed is a magically trapped and locked chest (crafted by Gale just for him), where he keeps gold and rare or magical items looted from evil rich folk—who didn’t deserve them anyway. He’ll put them to good use… more or less. One day, that chest will also contain the amulet or cloak that lets him walk in the sun again—he and his old adventuring party are still working on it.

In one corner of the room is a tall mirror with a refined frame. He likes it as a decorative piece—but hey, with the right company in bed, it can always come in handy! Lol. In the other corner is a battered dartboard with at least two daggers stuck in it. Mounted on the wall is a rack of weapons. A pair of curved daggers were gifts from Avernus, courtesy of Karlach and Wyll. A dagger with a Spartan hilt came from another plane, sent by Lae’zel. He doesn’t like it, but he trusts her taste when it comes to efficiency and effectiveness.

The bathroom is, of course, well-equipped: a full tub (not connected to plumbing), with a stack of soft, fragrant towels beside it, and a rug he enjoys stepping on when entering or exiting the bath. There’s a carved floral stool there too—another gift from Halsin. A couple of shelves display his beloved collection of oils and soaps. Also proudly displayed: a set of brushes for every need, because we know how meticulous he is about his hair.

His work as a vigilante (or paid assassin) is slowly paying off, thanks to word of mouth. His clientele includes people from all social classes. Rarely, but when he feels personally involved, he’s accepted jobs in exchange for goods (that he doesn’t eat). Once, a woman abused by her so-called rich lover gave him a chicken as payment. He cursed every god, then accepted, warning her not to tell anyone. He then gave the chicken to the orphan kids who plague his soul begging him to mentor them—just because he once gave them tips on how to properly pickpocket rich fools. Especially foreign merchants with heavy coin purses.

Since then, the brats look up to him and beg for adventurous stories, dreaming of becoming like him. He treats them with disdain, but he secretly loves seeing those little misfits seek his attention and try to apply what he teaches (with hilariously poor results). Not before being begged with: “Pleeeease, Mister Astarion!”

In the colder seasons, when the sun sets early, business picks up—he has more time to be active. He also has more time for the Elfsong when he’s in the mood for fun. Everyone knows him there—he’s the life of the party. Cards, dice, gossip (while gathering intel), flirting just for fun, and sometimes... upstairs shenanigans. All on his terms, of course.

Few people know the real him, and for now, that’s fine. Not everyone can be among the privileged few with access to his home, his life, his intimacy. Alfira, who often performs there, knows and accepts this. Same for his friend Lakrissa.

Once, he saved Chef Roover from a drunk, ill-intentioned outsider by draining him dry. Roover raised an eyebrow and ordered him to help mop up the piss (the guy had wet himself in fear). After that and a few explanations, Alan Alyth tried to hire Astarion as a bouncer. He agreed to “make troublemakers disappear”—nothing more—in exchange for unrestricted access to the tavern’s lower floors for his business.

Now Astarion has taken over the old Emperor’s chambers, giving them a new purpose. Still under renovation, but clients can drop by the bartender, say the code word, and be sent downstairs... Astarion has big plans for himself and his enterprise. Maybe someday he’ll add a small hedonistic lounge to share with friends who enjoy the same bloody pleasures. In moderation, of course. After all, it’s nice to inspire hope in people, not just fear, right?

And then there’s Jaheira, who drops by nearly every day under the pretense of helping with renovations, delivering materials, or suggesting more “reasonable” interior design. Really, she just wants to play mama wolf and make sure he stays out of trouble, while slipping him extra gigs on behalf of the Harpers or the Flaming Fists. At least she doesn’t nag at his house—and tries to keep Minsc out of it—but Astarion knows it’s just a matter of time before the ranger shows up in his kitchen out of nowhere, bloody, half-dressed, and with a dumb story about how he got there.

And of course, there are the Gur, who frequently seek his advice about vampire spawn kids or local monsters. If they can offload more work onto him, all the better! At least they’ve stopped hunting him, and sometimes they even help lighten the weight of vampirism. He’d never admit it, but a lot of them are actually fun—and nearly as good at cheating at dice as he is. Once, they held a kind of tournament where he almost lost. Damn cutthroat vagabonds!

So yeah, just a little headcanon about poor, helpless, useless Spawn Astarion, who supposedly can’t survive a day without Tav/Durge. xP

[magicalcorvid]

JUST A REMINDER THAT PLATONIC LOVE IS REALLY IMPORTANT AND I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE FRIENDS THAT YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH PLATONICALLY CAUSE THOSE FRIENDSHIPS ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND HONEST OK THANK YOU

[magicalcorvid]

Local goat discovers joy of painting

[magicalcorvid]

I’ve seen several posts recently floating the idea of Wyll having all the right qualities to be a knight, and while I don’t necessarily disagree on principle, I also don’t think that’s the most accurate translation of his character to a knight au, because if you put him in a dynamic between a regent and their knight, he would be the regent.

Wyll would be the perfect noble character to a brave and devoted knight because he would return that loyalty and ardency in kind, and he would be the most brilliant shining example of a worthy charge for a knight to aspire to protect. I don’t doubt that Wyll would carry out the duties of knighthood with nothing short of unwavering passion, but his themes and background, if reimagined in another setting, would place him in the role of the prince, not the knight.

If you asked Wyll to serve another hero, he would do it with honor and fervor. He would be an impeccable knight. But Wyll deserves to be the hero himself. And I rather like the idea of a devoted knight serving him. Because also, c’mon, you know he’d fall in love with that knight right back.

[magicalcorvid]

You can always tell that people who call Wyll boring never take him out of camp because yes, Wyll’s camp dialogue tends to be more formal (fitting a young noble man who has spent years playing the role of a community hero), but when you take him out and about he actually seems (in my game at least) to be one of the more reactive companions and is always quick with the funny quips and commentary. And he is really funny!

He calls Dror Ragzlin the “gobbo in charge”

He asks you not to open THAT barn door because he doesn’t want to be invited to that wedding….

Referring to Auntie Ethel as an old biddy and warning you to run if she pulls out a pot of oil

These are just some instances I noticed pretty early into Act One, but yeah I really do think he’s an underrated character

[magicalcorvid]

My part for Halsin week 2025! Day 5: Protection. Unwise to poke a bear and mess with his grove!

[magicalcorvid]

My BG3 headcanon: Astarion truly cares about his Tav | Durge, doesn't matter if they are friends or lovers, so when his dearest had a date night, he secretly followed, just in case.

Bonus below:

[magicalcorvid]

[durgestarion] kissing the murder puppy 🐶

[magicalcorvid]

"Minthara doesn't even feel bad about the grove raid and killing all the tieflings."

Do you feel bad about killing all the goblins? No? Then you can shut the fuck up about how Minthara feels about the grove raid.

[magicalcorvid]

ted spankoffski fans are like “i love him so much i need to put him into a meat grinder and fry him up into a meatball” but bill woodward fans are like “i love him so much i am going to tuck him into bed with a nice snack and then perform him a musical”

[magicalcorvid]

THE LORDS IN BLACK 6 hours left for the Kickstarter! Art by @shnikkles