mail-time1369

[mail-time1369]

In death,

We aren’t likely to see

A beautiful flower

Buried underneath.

The rubble of pain and grief

Masks a subtle duality.

The fragility of a life

Perceptibly inhales.

The cruelty of a death

Dismissively exhales.

Maileta /// to die is to live

[mail-time1369]

“But then.. I met you, and I didn't expect anything. I just... I was curious, and I just wanted to practice being respectful, because, I mean, you didn't deserve my disrespect anyway. Not that I had any to give, but...”

“I just wanted to be kind to someone.”

Maileta /// a green sprout from a cracked egg

[mail-time1369]

Today, I found myself

Looking for something..

A sound.

Your sound.

Through thousands of voices

Piercing my ears

I searched desperately

Relentless to find

The perfect pitch

The precise calm

To soothe

A crying babe.

Maileta /// journal entry #2: starved senses

[mail-time1369]

You say you’ll tell me what’s new.

But I’d rather you show me what’s different.

Maileta /// new wine in old wineskin

[mail-time1369]

If I needed you, would you even be there?

Or would you just..

Stand me up

Over

And over..

Maileta /// again?

[mail-time1369]

Nothing is going to change..

What am I waiting for?

Maileta /// fall back

[mail-time1369]

Grief has spoken to me today.

A sip from our favorite soup

Arrests my heart and mind.

My throat tightens

As I think of how you suffered

And fought

And gasped.

I choke

As I can no longer enjoy these things

Without your smile.

Not for a while, anyway.

Not while grief has a place to stay.

Maileta /// journal entry #1: welcome, grief

[mail-time1369]

“Why do we crave what isn’t good for us?”

Maileta /// forbidden fruit

[mail-time1369]

“I’m not really in the business of chasing..

Tell me what you want.”

Maileta /// be direct

[mail-time1369]

Too many hurtful things have been said.

Despite it all, I still wish you the best..

Maileta /// all the best

[mail-time1369]

I love you, but..

I’m not the one for you...

Maileta /// soulmates to strangers

[mail-time1369]

And that’s a wrap, folks

Because we’re all out of straws to give..

Maileta /// souled out

[mail-time1369]

Don’t choose me anymore..

Maileta /// selectively permeable

[mail-time1369]

I just wanted him to say

“But that’s still your mom..”

But he never did.

And now, she’s gone..

Maileta /// Nov. 5 2024 🕊️

[mail-time1369]

The pretty blue songbird

Doesn’t sing anymore..

Maileta /// she’s lost her voice

[mail-time1369]

I can see

Everything I’ve tried to build

Crumbling

Right before my eyes

I feel..

Numb

The same sensation

I felt..

When I almost

Died.

Maileta /// falling away

[mail-time1369]

Desperately reaching

As though I’m being

Strangled to death.

Maileta /// untitled