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mamajotes-blog · 7 years ago

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Our Sleep Training Experience

DAY 1

First of all, I mentally prepared myself for the worst and I’m glad I did. I told myself she might cry for two hours and set the intention that we would not pick her up. I know this sounds cruel and I honestly was torn up inside, but I knew from experience that this shit works.

When we sleep trained krish, I did it almost robotically and wish I wrote it all down. So I’m writing it down this time, even though we are doing it a little differently.It

A lot of haters will tell you that letting your baby cry will result in all kinds of consequences of neglect etc. but this is literally like a week MAX for a short amount of time. It is not for her entire infancy and childhood. She is a very loved and cuddled baby.

Now that I got that out of the way. Here how we started….

I set up her room to be dark with a night light. She has a white noise machine and we have a video monitor set up as well.

I bathed her at 7 pm and gave her a coconut oil massage. Then I dressed her and fed her. Unfortunately, she fell asleep on the boob so I had to wake her a little bit to put her in her crib around 7:45 pm. It’s best if they are put in the crib drowsy, but awake so they learn how to self soothe. She went to sleep immediately, but I knew she’d wake up and then the training would really begin.

The process of sleep training, in my opinion, isn’t to get her to sleep through the night. It’s to get her to learn to self soothe so when she is disturbed at night, she knows how to go back to sleep. Kareena is a peanut so I don’t think she’ll be sleeping through the night for a couple of months, but who knows.

She woke up at 8:11 PM and began crying. We are using the Ferber method with the time table below.

I went to check in on her at 3 minutes and she gave me the sweetest smile (my heart broke cuz I knew I couldn’t pick her up) I told her “Hey baby. It’s nini (nini means sleep) time right now so go back to sleep. I love you and I’m here.”

I closed the door and walked out. After a minute, the crying ensued. We followed the time table and took turns going in to comfort her and let her know that we’re there. After about 30 minutes, I popped in my headphones so I wouldn’t cry as well. I also stayed in convo with my mom friends for support and encouragement.

At 9:20, she started quieting down and she wasn’t crying. Little whimpers here and there, but quiet enough that I was relieved. We almost gave in and got her about 4 times leading up to this. At about 9:40 pm she fell asleep.

The next time she woke up, she moved around and went back to sleep immediately! =) Then around midnight, I fed her and put her back down. No fight. She woke up around 2 AM and I knew she wasn’t hungry. She yelled/cried for about 8 minutes and fell back asleep. Next waking around 4 AM I fed her, but I also realized her room was cold so I brought her into bed with me (FAIL- but that’s ok)

For night 2, we’ll set up a little heater in her room so she won’t be cold and it’ll give us peace of mind. I’m hoping she’ll cry a little less initially because my heart can only handle so much.

DAY 2

I was nervous that Kareena would cry for an hour or something so once again, I prepared myself for the worst. I kept the positive vibes that it would work in the back of my mind and told myself that if it didn’t, she wasn’t ready and we’d try again in a couple weeks.

I put her down drowsy, but awake at 7:10 after her bedtime routine. This time I fed her a bottle first then changed and cuddled her.

Initially, she didn’t cry, but after about 3 minutes, she started to cry. She cried for about 20 minutes total and I only did 2 checks (both times she smiled at me). She laid in her crib for an additional 10 minutes and soothed herself by sucking on her hand until she fell asleep.

Her cry this time wasn’t as sad or piercing as night one. They were more like little yells so I knew she was just calling for our attention. I was relieved when it ended within 20 minutes! It gave me so much hope that night 3 would be even better.

She woke back up around 9:35 PM and yelled for an additional 4 minutes and fell back asleep. She woke up again at 11 PM so I nursed her and put her back down no problem! She had two more night wakings where she was able to fall back asleep within 5 minutes then nursed again at 5 AM.

She finally woke up at 8:20 AM and chilled in her crib until 8:40 AM! I think it’s so important for them to chill in their cribs awake and not expect you to get them right away. Krish also chills in his crib when he wakes up in the morning. I call it his self reflection time.

DAY 3

I was feeling really positive when I put her down. I expected like 10 minutes of crying, but guess what?! NO CRYING. I fed Kareena a bottle and nursed her so I knew she was extra full. I put her down at 7:20 PM and she was asleep by 7:30 PM without any yelling or crying! I seriously thought I’d cry from happiness.

As you know, my plan was never for her to sleep through the night and I will continue to feed her if she needs it, but KAREENA SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. She had one small night waking and she went back to sleep within a minute. I fed her 5 AM (and it was daylight savings so really like 6 AM) She slept 10.5 straight hours! Then, she went back to bed until about 8 AM

She woke up all smiles and happy! I can imagine that she felt really well rested!

OVERALL

My 3 month old who was comfort nursing several times at night and refused to sleep anywhere but next to mommy, slept 10.5 hours in a crib after she put herself to sleep.

That, my friends, is the magic of sleep training. Let’s hope it sticks and the 4 month sleep regression doesn’t hit us too hard, but I’m staying positive!

Sleep training is a small sacrifice for a big reward. It means saying no to going out, dinners and making other small social sacrifices for a short period of time so everyone can get good night’s rest. A family who sleeps well is a happy family in my opinion. We will be making sure to be home to get her in bed by 7 pm every night for the next couple months so she gets used to her routine and bedtime like Krish did. That’s our commitment. If we do our part, she’ll do her part. It’ll become second nature for her!

P.S. she also learned how to take a bottle this weekend so we had like a really good weekend!

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mamajotes-blog · 7 years ago

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I’m Only Human #momfail

I had a major mom fail moment last night. Krish woke up at 12 AM crying and we weren’t sure why, but he went back to sleep (he does this sometimes and just goes back to sleep). I sprung out of bed at 1 AM and realized that I never changed his diaper before I put him to bed. I was so focused on the end goal of having both kids in bed before 8 pm that I missed it entirely! I have several excuses like he was already in his PJs so maybe I thought Vijay changed it and I don’t usually do bedtime routine with Krish, but the reality of it is that I wasn’t being mindful during bedtime. I wasn’t present in the moment and was going through the motions. All I was thinking about was getting Krish to bed and cuddling on the couch with my hubby, a movie and glass of wine.

So I rushed into his room at 1 AM, woke him up and changed his diaper! He had a diaper rash of course so I smothered him in Aquaphor. I took him into my bed, held him and told him I was sorry. I told him that mommys make mistakes too. Sometimes we are burnt out and just can’t wait to get that time to ourselves in the evening, but we need to remember to practice mindful parenting at all times and to live in the moment instead of rushing through the motions to get to the next step.

Luckily, kids are resilient and he loves me regardless this morning, but what’s more important is that I love myself and forgive myself. As much as I want to believe I’m supermom, I am only human!

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mamajotes-blog · 7 years ago

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I am more than a mom

I feel like I get easily labeled as “just a mom” (i cant even get into that little statement atm), but I am much more than a mother. I had a life before they existed that I continue to live today. Yes, most of my days revolve around mothering just as most of my husband’s days revolve around being a doctor etc but we all know he’s more than that right?

I want to encourage my mamas out there to share their stories. Tell me how you’re more than a mom because I know you are! Use the hashtag #morethanamom with your post!

Here are some facts about me you may not know!

-->I have a bachelors and masters in creative writing because writing is my true passion that I ignore on a daily basis (but I’m writing right now… duh!

-->I was a stand up comic for two years in LA and performed at the Hollywood Improv, The Comedy Store, Haha Cafe, Flappers and several other places. My longest set was 20 minutes when I opened for a popular local comedian.

-->I graduated high school in 3 years when I was 16 and college by the time I was 20.

-->I recently learned how to sew and it quickly became my favorite hobby, but I also knit and crochet.

-->I love to cook and be creative in the kitchen as well. Love experimenting.

-->I’m a wino, but also love me a good stout

-->I didn’t really get into skin care until a couple years ago when I started to age =P

-->I backpacked through Europe with my best friend summer of 2013 and made some amazing friends!

-->I’ve lived in LA, NY, Baltimore and Chicago

-->I was trained in the Indian classical dance, Kathak, which I really want to get back into soon! I also was on the drill team in elementary and junior high and color guard at the start of high school. Then on the bhangra team in college!!! I love dancing!

-->I played badminton in high school and was on the swim & water polo team

-->I'm from West Covina, California but also lived in Hollywood, Korea Town, Studio City, Sherman Oaks, Inglewood and Marina Del Rey.

-->I can pretty much fix anything, my husband calls me his handy man

-->I wrote a full length play and workshopped it at East West Players, where it was read in front of an audience by some pretty cool actors.

-->I worked at a vineyard in Baltimore, Maryland — best experience ever!

-->I nearly became a doctor. I almost went straight to the Caribbean after high school, but then went to UCR pre med. I was even part of the medical scholars program, but I knew it wasn’t meant for me.

-->I was an Uber driver for one day in Baltimore

--> I have my own in-home/online tutoring business (started in Beverly Hills when I was 21) that I took a little break from, but I’m back! I was actually the bread winner while my husband was in residency and fellowship <3

-->I was also a medical clinic manager, men’s warehouse sale’s associate, barista, bartender, sandwich maker and assistant to talent manager.

-->I love yoga and trying to incorporate it into my daily life whenever I can.

-->My brothers are my best friends (I have two of them and they are awesome)

-->I love country music and line dancing in the cowboy boots

-->I’m a self care advocate!

-->I love math and will literally take a math test for fun. I also really enjoy chemistry and science in general

-->Jeopardy is one of my fave shows to watch. Wheel of Fortune a close second.

-->I am a major book worm, but watch my fair share of movies too

-->I don’t do cardio

-->I practice Buddhism and mindfulness on a daily basis

-->I have a deal with Hubby that I don’t do snow! So I don’t clean it, shovel it or really play with it. #LA

-->I am a stay at home mom, but I still hustle and I’m damn proud of it.

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mamajotes-blog · 7 years ago

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Two Under Two

Being a mother has been the most rewarding, challenging, fun, thought provoking, nerve wrecking, stress inducing, heart melting experience I’ve ever endured. Raising one adorable baby boy who I could never even imagine being upset with at the time was in all honesty a breeze. He was “zen” baby and did everything I said until his little sister came along this past July and I was outnumbered. Kareena was NOT zen baby at first. She was colicky, which we learning was due to a milk protein allergy. After I quit dairy, the roles in the house quickly switched and my newborn became my “zen” baby and Krish became a full blown toddler.

COME BACK NANA AND NANI!

My parents were with me over the summer, so it didn’t seem so bad. The difficulty and challenges of two under two didn’t set in until the literal moment my parents left, which was about a month ago (Krish is legit high pitch screaming as a write this). All of a sudden, I was home alone 4 days a week with two babies who both needed me at the exact same time. Krish wants his milk when he sees me nursing because Kareena is having milk. Or they both need to be held at the same time or else one will be crying. I like to think Krish is a “big boy”, but in reality, he is still a baby.

Krish majorly regressed. He fought his sleep at night for a weekend and wouldn’t nap in his crib for weeks. I would have to drive somewhere at nap time so he’d sleep in the car, but it was never a good enough nap, leaving me with a very cranky toddler. By Thursday, I want to pull my hair out and scream because the house is a wreck, everyone is crying, including me at times, and mama just needs a break. Krish finally slept in his crib for nap time again yesterday, nearly a month after he stopped! It was amazing and I got my little break <3

In those moments of stress, I stop, I breathe and tell myself that I will do something for me at the end of the day. I approach my children mindfully. Do I get angry and lose my patience? Of course, I’m human! But the moments are rare and I catch myself quickly. I remind myself to be the adult that I want my children to be.

In all honesty, there’s no way I could take care of everyone else without taking care of myself first. Face masking is one of my go to self care activities. I also like to read, catch up on a show or eat a treat. Those hours (sometimes literally an hour) I get to myself before bed time are so vital for a healthy, happy mommy. I attempted to wake up before the children for several weeks and was successful for a while, but the darker the mornings are, the harder its been to get out of bed. I know that if I can just wake up and get some alone time in the AM, it’ll make my day so much better!

I am slowly coming out of the fog and getting the hang of it. Krish is still majorly attached to mommy, but he is slowly starting to get used to his baby sister. He smacks her sometimes, but he also gives her a lot of kisses and love. I know having two kids 16 months apart now is hard, but it will be worth it in a couple years.

Raising two little ones is just about the hardest job I’ve ever had, but there are those moments when they remind you why you love it. When Kareena smiles up at me from her play mat, grinning from ear to ear. When Krish says Mama in the sweetest way. When he smiles at his sister proudly and says “baby sissy”. They truly are so sweet and make my heart melt on the daily. These kids are my world and worth all the sacrifices.

#momlife #motherhoodunplugged #motherhood #lifeofamom #mommyblogger #twoundertwo #mommyandme

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mamajotes-blog · 7 years ago

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MamaJotes Instant Pot “Chatta”

Chatta is how we say chicken in Burmese. When I cooked this dish, I had no intention of it tasting Burmese, but it truly does! In Burma, we eat Chatta Paratha and this was perfect for the Paratha I had in my freezer.

Ingredients

2 lbs boneless, skinless chicken legs and thighs

1 tbsp black pepper

1 tbsp salt

1 tbsp cumin powder

1 tbsp coriander seed powder

1tbsp turmeric powder

1 tsp garlic powder (optional)

1 tsp ginger powder (optional)

1 tbsp coconut oil

1 red onion, sliced

6 slices of ginger root

5-6 dates

7 whole garlic cloves, peeled

1 tsp cinnamon

1 cup chicken broth

1 tbsp tomato paste

5 curry leaves

1tbsp lemon juice

2 tbsp besan (graham flour)

Directions

Mix together salt, pepper, turmeric, coriander, ginger powder, garlic powder and cumin. Coat chicken with spice mixture.

Turn Instant Pot on SAUTE .mode. Add coconut oil and brown chicken for 3-5 minutes.

Add remaining ingredients EXCEPT BESAN, mix together and cook on MANUAL HIGH PRESSURE for 30 minutes.

QUICK RELEASE. Remove chicken from pot and put aside (chicken will be very soft and fall apart so its ok if little shreds of chicken are left in the broth.

Turn IP on SAUTE mode and bring broth to a boil. Add besan and a couple tbsps of hot broth to a small bowl and mix together. Add mixture to broth while stirring gently so it doesn’t clump. Allow it to boil for ten minutes to thicken.

Turn off IP and add chicken back to pot to combine. Serve with rice or layered paratha (I use the frozen kind from the Indian store and this is the more tasty option in my opinion)

Recipe inspired by Instant Pot Eats Leg Of Lamb Stew With Dates & Cinnamon

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mamajotes-blog · 7 years ago

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Parmasean Crusted Tilapia

I’m all about quick and easy meals for my husband and I, but I am spoiled so they must be delicious. Don’t get me wrong, I eat basic some days, but most days I like to fine dine =P.

This recipe is one my go tos for a quick, easy, healthy meal. Because if the crispy coating, it feels like I’m indulging when I’m still eating healthy!!!

This will serve two people-- increase as needed.

Ingredients -- *the measurements for the parmesan coating are total ball park and add more or less as you need*

Tilapia Filet (any white fish will do) -- I get my tilapia from Costco

1/4 cup Fresh Grated Parmesan

1 tsp Garlic Powder (I use penzeys)

1 tsp Paprika

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp pepper

olive oil spray (any oil will work)

balsamic glaze (got mine at Trader Joes)

Mix Parmesan. garlic powder, paprika, salt and pepper together in a plate or wide bowl. Spray each filet with olive oil on both sides. Coat the filets in parmesan mixture (I just stick in right into the bowl). There should be enough for a second coat so I do a light spray of olive oil again and then coat again.

Place filets in Air Fryer at 400 degrees for 10-15 minutes. No need to flip. I usually check it at 10 and if it flakes easily then its ready. I had a really thick fish once that needed closer to 15 minutes.

You can also use an oven if you don’t have an air fryer--- Bake at 425 degrees uncovered for 10-15 minutes (or until it flakes easily)

Drizzle Balsamic glaze on top of the filets when finished and VOILA --enjoy!

I really enjoy this meal and I either have it with a side or brown rice and roasted veggies or on top of a zesty arugula salad <3 It tastes great either way, but I’ll include the arugula salad recipe here as well.

Fresh arugula or wild rocket

lemon zest

fresh parmesan

olive oil

lemon juice

salt and pepper to taste

Mix all the ingredients together and enjoy!!!! <3

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mamajotes-blog · 7 years ago

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Postpartum: The Happy Experience

Let me start by saying that people don't talk about the postpartum experience enough. We hear a lot about the birthing experience, but what about those hours and days afterwards? What goes on then? I’ve heard a lot of stories about sleepless nights, blistered nipples and broken marriages, but there has to be good stuff afterwards too, right? I mean... You just made a freaking human!

During my first pregnancy, I didn't think much about what happened after... I just knew I'd have this really adorable baby to hang out with. I thought it'd be all about the baby. I didn't know how much of the postpartum experience was about myself.

After my son was born, my husband and I were high off the happy hormones. We didn't feel tired until weeks afterwards when the sleepless nights finally caught up to us, but even then we were unusually chipper for new parents. Peers and strangers even commented "How are you so happy right now?" as if we were supposed to be downright exhausted and pissed that our new baby just turned our lives upside down. That wasn't the case and many people were surprised; some inspired, some envious, some just annoyed. Then I got pregnant again and was struck with prenatal anxiety. The doctor warned us that it will get worse before it gets better meaning my chances of having postpartum depression were a lot higher. I was so hormonal and so emotional to the point of no control that I even scared myself sometimes. I felt alone, scared, nervous and overwhelmed, but when my baby girl entered the world, all that disappeared. My doctor was fortunately incorrect and my prenatal anxiety was just that. I was once again in a happy state of mind, felt peace and confidence in my abilities to mother my babies.

During my walk the other day, I started to think about how lucky I was to have two great postpartum experiences and then realized that there were some similarities in my actions after the birth of my babies that played a large part in making my experience so pleasant. The truth is, it doesn't have to be the way we see on tv or hear about in the horror stories from other parents*. Here is my personal (not professional) guidelines to a happy, healthy postpartum experience.

MINDFULLNESS

I cannot preach this enough: Approach parenthood mindfully**. Be aware of your actions and reactions and adjust them accordingly. The energy you (and your environment) emit directly affects the baby’s energy. If you’re stressed and upset, chances are your baby is stressed and upset. Even when it seems impossible, remind yourself that how you react directly affects the baby.

For example: You really have to poop so you put your little sleeping newborn baby in her crib and go do your business. Then, your baby is crying and wailing uncontrollably. She’s probably hungry or annoyed that you put her in her crib or she pooped, but you won’t know until you get out of the bathroom. There are many ways to react to this situation…. Some of which may require a mess to clean up afterwards hehe…. But I’d remind myself that I have no control of this situation from the throne and until I’m done and clean, I can’t tend to my baby and that’s ok. I wouldn’t let her cry for 30 minutes while I browse my phone, but once I feel done enough (let’s be real—moms only take half poops unless its Sunday), I can wash my hands and go tend to my baby. Instead of stressing out in a situation I don’t have much control over, I find a solution that will work for us both.

You are solely in control of your thoughts, actions and reactions so make a wise choice. Take the time to decide how you want to approach a dilemma. Take the time to shoo away those negative thoughts and remind yourself what a strong woman you are (cuz we all are honestly). Choose to react calmly to the witching hour (this is when a baby cries for no reason at all the same hour every day) as hard as it is.

Being mindful isn’t easy and 100%. There are times where it’s almost impossible, but with practice, it’s achievable 99% of the time.

SUPPORT

Take all the help you can get. You do not have to be a hero and do this solo IF you have the option to have help. I know not everybody has this option, but I urge you to find a support system while you are pregnant. Whether it is family, friends, neighbors or hired help. I’m lucky enough to have a massive support system (hands on husband, retired parents and in laws that live near by) that made this 2under2 experience a positive one. Without the support of my parents, I am positive my experience would not be going as smoothly as it is. My toddler wakes up at the break of dawn and so does my dad. The extra hour of sleep I get in the morning has made the world of difference in my mood, behavior and attitude.

Not many people have parents who can just come and stay with them, so I urge you to accept help from wherever you can get it. A meal train is always a great option. Ask a close friend to gather a group of people to take turns making meals for a couple weeks until things are in balance. If this is your second or third child, ask a neighborhood sitter to play with your kids a couple of hours a day so you can get a nap in with the baby or a shower or just sit on your phone watching Instagram stories. It’s affordable and your kids have fun! If you choose to have visitors and they ask what they can help with, ask them to do the dishes that have piled up. seriously... if anyone offer, take the help! Any amount of support helps… it really does take a village y’all!

BE GOOD TO YOURSELF

YOU COME FIRST! If mom isn’t taken care of, no one is. Be good to yourselves ladies, especially those days after birth. Ask for what you need and don’t feel the need to do it all. You do not have to be superwoman (even though we are because we made a humans… duh) You have to heal and recover. Your hospital stay is the best time to use your resources to take care of you first. Call the nurses, don’t feel like you can’t. They are there to help you. Use the nursery when you feel like you just need a little nap because you’re exhausted from laboring or surgery and this new little human’s demands to eat constantly.

My husband and I were nervous at first with our son to use the nursery at the hospital, but it was the best thing we could have done. We needed the help because we were first time parents and we were exhausted. Babies make a lot of noise when they sleep and as first time parents, any noise he made that first week or so, we ran to him. We held him constantly, taking turns staying awake. We didn’t know we could sleep when he was asleep (no joke). So those first couple of nights we used the nursery helped us build up some energy with some sound sleep (in 2 hour increments). We used it again for our daughter as well!

Also, don’t beat yourself up. If you can’t get that baby to latch or your milk isn’t there and your momma instincts (these are real) are telling you to give the baby the bottle of formula, then do it! Maybe your milk is coming in later or you have to pump etc. If you feel like baby needs the milk, give her the formula. Don’t beat yourself up, don’t feel guilty, don’t put yourself down… FED IS BEST. I can’t stress it enough. Too many mommas beat themselves up over this, but in all honesty, formula or breast… all our kids are just as weird on the playground.

There is no such thing as a perfect mom, y’all. We tend to forget that what we see on social media isn’t the whole picture.

PRIORITIZE

The laundry can stay on the floor, the dishes can pile up… IT’S OKAY! Prioritize the time you have (which isn’t much—newborns are quite demanding) You’re going to be tired so all the household chores can wait. You should probably still feed yourself and your toddler, but don’t worry about the clutter on the counter or the mail that’s piled up over the week because guess what?! IT’S NOT IMPORTANT! What’s important that first week is you and your babies.

It’s hard to let go, I understand, but try it! It’s liberating

DO YOUR RESEARCH

Your doctor and hospital matter more than you can imagine and impact the postpartum experience. Do your research before settling on a hospital. Do the hospital tour and ask as many questions as you’d like. Make sure it’s a secure floor and they take the measures to make you and your baby feel safe. We are true mama bears and don’t want anything happening to our babies. See what other moms say about the nurses and staff. Ask about the nurse to patient ratio while you are touring. Ask about the food as well. Each time I delivered, I had a full menu to order from and the food was delicious! I loved that it felt like room service. My nurses have been extremely helpful and the lactation resources at the hospital were key. My doctors (different one for each delivery because we were in different states) were caring, well knowledgable and had amazing bed side manner. I did my research— I asked around and got the 411 on the different hospitals because I wanted a good hospital experience and I didn’t want to eat crappy food for four days (I obviously care about food)

Use your resources, ask questions and know what to expect from your doctor and facility ahead of time.

CALM ENVIRONMENT

I talk about this a little bit earlier, but I can’t stress it enough. From the moment that baby is born, her environment matters. If she is surrounded by stress and anxiety, she will portray stress and anxiety. My husband and I made sure to keep our environments as calm as possible in the hospital as well as when both babies came home. This meant limiting visitors as well, which I talk about in the next section. Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself sane and calm so that baby doesn’t get stressed out.

BE SELFISH

You sacrificed so much to make this baby and will continue to sacrifice so DO WHAT YOU WANT AT YOUR OWN PACE! For us, this meant not allowing any visitors for two months. We had plenty of reasons, including limiting how many people handle her. For my son, it was smack in the epitome of flu season so we definitely didn’t want anyone near him. If a baby gets a fever over 100.4 in the first 2-3 months of life, they have to be hospitalized for 48 hours. We’ve all heard the horror stories about the baby who got mono or the HSV1 and we all believe it won’t happen to us, but the only way to be really sure is to limit how many people hold your baby. We enjoyed having our son all to ourselves and not having any visitors to tend to so even though our daughter was born in the summer, we kept the same rule. No visitors until she’s vaccinated at 2 months including immediate family (other than our parents and siblings— with our firstborn we had no visitors, including our parents, for the first two weeks—we wanted a chance to do it alone and it was the best decision we ever made).

Let’s be real… after you have a baby, vaginal or cesarian, you are vulnerable and your body is changing dramatically and quickly in the first week (especially during those days at the hospital). Let me list it out:

You’re in mesh panties and a diaper because you’re bleeding so heavily

if you chose to breastfeed, you’re learning how to do that, and your nipples might blister or bleed. Breastfeeding can also be painful because your uterus is contracting while you feed. You’re feeding your baby on demand, trying to get that milk in, so you’re in “free the nipple” mode most of the time.

trust me—you haven’t slept

if you had a cesarian, you can’t move your legs for the first 24 hours and you have a catheter in so a nurse is changing your pad, wiping you and emptying your bag of pee every 4-6 hours. And once that catheter is out, she joins you while your body tries to pee again (it took me 7 full minutes of listening to the water running to pee again)

You’re definitely in pain

did I mention that you’re exhausted

So now imagine being in this position and having a bunch of other people coming in and out of your room to meet your baby…. Does that sound pleasant? For me, it didn’t, so the first time around, I wanted absolutely no one there. The second time, I allowed my parents and in laws to visit one time. I made them wait 36 hours after she was born because I wanted to make sure I was mobile first. I mostly allowed it because I wanted to see my son in all honesty <3 If you’re a private person and don’t feel like having people in and out of your room, then don’t.

So be as selfish as you want. Will people call you an asshole? Probably… but who cares. You don’t get these precious months of newborn life back and you can never be too careful with these little ones. Everyone will meet her in time— when you’re well and ready.

OH AND COFFEE

drink all the coffee…. Trust me. =D

Motherhood is hard and those early days after having a baby are the hardest, but it doesn’t have to be a horrible, stressful experience and I hope that my experience can help yours. <3

*Please note: I understand that postpartum depression and baby blues are real and many women are affected by this, which will result in a difficult postpartum experience. I was lucky enough to not be affected by either of these and therefore, the tools described above helped my experience be a good one. It may not be possible for everyone, especially those mamas suffering from ppd.

Please seek help if you have any of the following symptoms of ppd:

Mood: anger, anxiety, guilt, hopelessness, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, mood swings, or panic attack

Behavioral: crying, irritability, or restlessness

Psychological: depression, fear, or repeatedly going over thoughts

Whole body: fatigue or loss of appetite

Cognitive: lack of concentration or unwanted thoughts

Weight: weight gain or weight loss

Also common: insomnia

** I have a whole post on mindful parenting here—> https://mamajotes.tumblr.com/post/172409867478/be-here-now

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mamajotes-blog · 7 years ago

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Starting a new venture @ 9 months pregnant

I am a woman of many talents. I am also a woman who cannot decide which talent to focus and hone in on because I love them all so much. I enjoy writing (which is what I have my degrees in), henna art, teaching math and science, knitting & crocheting and now sewing.

Sewing came easy to me. It was like I had been doing it my whole life so I’ve determined that I am born to sew. I obviously have so much to learn still and I literally learn something new with every project, but I truly enjoy the craft.

There is something incredibly therapeutic about sitting at my sewing machine or serger and letting the fabric run past my fingers and under the foot.

It can also be very frustrating when you're mid project and cannot for the life of you figure out how to make a knit neckline. (seriously my struggle right now)

BUT I am really good at making baby stuff. Especially blankets and bandana bibs at the moment. I am currently also perfecting my baby/toddler pants pattern and designing a baby romper outfit.

So my husband and I were sitting one night a couple weeks ago and he said, “You should really start an etsy shop.” And even though I’ve heard this before from several people, hearing it from him was different because he’s my best friend and biggest supporter.

So the next day I went to Joann’s Fabrics and bought up a bunch of cotton flannel in fun prints and started to design my snuggle blanket and bibs. Then within the week, I launched my new Etsy shop, Bunny Babies Boutique.

AND the entire time, I was literally nearing 9 months pregnant. I know that opening an etsy shop right before having a baby is maybe not the smartest idea since I will be going MIA for at least a couple weeks and unable to produce product, but I couldn’t help myself. I love the sense of purpose and value it gives me. I am making quality products that customers love and I am doing something I love <3 plus my little ones get spoiled with all the best hand made stuff from the shop ... perks of being my kid I guess.

So wish me luck on this venture and let’s hope it lasts, grows, expands and is successful!

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mamajotes-blog · 7 years ago

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Toddler Sippy Straw Cup Review

OMFG--- I am so happy to finally be writing this post because it means drumroll please............

WE FOUND A STRAW CUP THAT WORKS!!!!!!!!!

But before I get into that-- here are the cups we tried. There were things I liked about them, even loved, but in the end, they couldn’t keep the fluids inside. (That’s what she said?! do people still say that?!)

I will start with my least fave and then reveal the perfect straw cup!

What was I looking for --- Something durable, easy to clean and leak proof!

if you want to just know--- scroll down! (c’mon though--- who doesn’t like a little mastery in their life?)

1. Munchkin Click Lock Weighted Flexi-Straw Cup

When I first decided to try a straw cup with Krish (he was around 10 months at the time), I went onto one of my many mommy groups and asked which one to buy. Several moms raved about this cup so I ordered one right away.

PROS

Handles for easy holding

lightweight

durable

the weighted bottom -- pretty cool because they can get milk at any angle.

affordable

lightweight

CONS

Difficult to drink out of --- I tried to drink out of this cup and I literally couldn’t get anything out. Krish didn’t figure out how to drink out of this cup until after learning from his Tomee Tipee straw cup.

LEAKS! -- like it’s just sitting there with the straw exposed and milk comes out of the straw!!!!

Cap consistently comes off

difficult to clean -- a lot of parts to wash after every use. (it comes with a little cleaning straw that I lost almost immediately

2. Tommee Tippee Insulated Straw Cups- 2 for $5 at Marshalls

I couldn’t pass these up when I saw them at Marshalls. Krish used Tommee Tippee bottles and sippy cups so I was excited to try these out. They were actually fantastic for a very short amount of time. These bottles don’t claim to be leak proof so I can’t blame them for leaking everywhere!

PROS

Very affordable

Insulated

durable

CONS

Too many parts and pieces to clean

leaks like no other

had to youtube how to take it apart and put it back together again

3. Thinkbaby toddler straw cup

I don't hate this cup, but I’m not in love with it. I love that it is so lightweight and easy for Krish to hold, but I don’t like how easily the straw tore.

PROS

lightweight and thin for easy holding --- has an hourglass shape

doesn’t leak for the most part --- only leaks out milk when there is milk left int he straw and you close it and reopen it.

comes with removable handles for easy transition

easy cap to hide straw

CONS

not durable -- had to order replacement straws because the top straw got a large hole pretty easily and started leaking.

one too many parts to clean-- small ring inside plus top straw and button straw.

Expensive ($10/cup)

AND THE WINNER IS........

4. Oxotot Straw Cup <3 <3 <3

PROS

Doesn’t leak EVER

Great cap

Strong straw but still flexible

three parts to clean and that’s it

easy to assemble

sturdy

CONS

Expensive ($10/cup.... but so worth it)

slightly heavier

transition cup with handles is a different cup so if you want handles, you have to buy another cup.

Spend the $10/cup on amazon and get the Oxo Tot--- you won’t regret it.

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mamajotes-blog · 7 years ago

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Maskin’ & Multitaskin’

Lately, I’ve heard a lot of people say that they don't have time to mask and wish that they did. There’s just so much to do!

Maskin’ does not ALWAYS mean applying a mask and kicking your feet up like you’re at the spa. Sometimes you gotta mask and multitask =P

Here’s a list of things you can do (if you must be productive) while beautifying your skin and taking care of you!!

Wash the dishes —- but ew who wants to do this?

Change a diaper — yuck

Fold laundry -- who actually folds laundry? In all honesty, it usually remains in a pile on our closet floor. #momlife #priorities

Vacuum

Mop

Tidy up

Get the mail -- I enjoy passing by neighbors and seeing their reactions

Pay some bills

Check your emails

Water the lawn/plants

Shower the baby - the other day, Krish and I took a bath together while I had a mask on. It was so much fun <3

Here’s a list of things I prefer to do when I am masking

Kick my feet up - obvious choice if time permits!

Poop - hehe

Sit in the shower and zone out - the steam is good for your face too and helps the mask penetrate deeper

Catch up on my shows - I need my dramas-- I am my mother

Read

Sit on the porch - once again, just to get a rise out of the neighbors MUWAHAHAHAHA

Drink coffee - Sometimes I drink a little bit of my mask too

Sew something - I get so into it that I forget I have my mask on sometimes

Sex?! --He might be into it...

Cook

Play fetch with my dog

Chase Krish around the house while roaring — he finds this hilarious --this is my favorite thing to do with a mask on because baby giggles are the best thing in the world.

Putting on a mask to better your skin doesn’t have to be time consuming— you can get sh!t done at the same time.

So no excuses ladies—— get masking and tasking <3

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mamajotes-blog · 7 years ago

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Zen Baby gone WILD

A toddler, pregnant woman and doctor went on a road trip.

No... this is not the start of some dad joke. It is very real.

So we planned this road trip from Chicago to Pittsburgh for my cousin’s wedding. Then from Pittsburgh to West Virginia to Tennessee and back to Chicago. I know... we are nuts! But we weren’t even nervous because we have zen baby. He sleeps thru the night, loves car rides, eats anything and is the absolute best SO WHAT COULD GO WRONG? Well... what happens when Mr. well rested decides he doesn’t want to sleep?! ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE.

My angel child is SO SLEEP TRAINED that he couldn’t sleep in a hotel room pack n play. We’ll learn midway thru our trip exactly why... stay tuned.

DAY 1 -- we left the house bright and early at 5 30 AM to get on the road to Pittsburgh. We had an 8 hour drive ahead of us and an event to be at by 6:30PM. Krish had half a banana and some milk and fell right back asleep in his car seat until 8. We stopped at a cute diner and all was still good. Krish entertained himself and fell back asleep again for 3 hours (he loves sleeping in the car). We arrived in Pittsburgh in good spirits! I wasn’t super sore and Krish was excited to see his grandparents. As we were getting ready, Krish was yawning! He was already tired, but we kept him up. He got a second wind or two at the event and enjoyed himself. We headed back to the hotel around 10 ish (way past his bedtime). He fell asleep in the car instantly so my plan was to take him up, change him, give him some milk and put him down just as I would do if we went to an event near the house. We put on his sleep music, turned down the lights and put him in the pack n play with his lovey. Same routine, but Krish stood up in his pack n play and cried. He cried in a way I’ve never seen before. High pitch screams.

The wedding guests were all on the same floor and most people were still at the party so I suggested we let him cry it out for 10 minutes and as you can assume, 10 minutes later, he was still crying. I picked him up and walked him around, but he wouldn’t stop crying! Hubby tried and yet this kid was still screaming. He was exhausted! The thing is... neither of us have ever had to physically put this guy to sleep or soothe him to this extent. Like I say---zen baby.

I walked across the hall and barged into my parents’ room. My dad took Krish, calmed in and he fell asleep! I took him back to my room and put him in the pack n play. It was midnight and we were exhausted so we all went to bed UNTIL we were rudely awaken with more screaming/crying at 3 AM (as were the rest of the wedding guests in our hall) I picked him up and tried to mimic what my dad had done earlier, but was unsuccessful. So I barged into my dad’s room again and woke up him, my mom and my brother. My dad couldn’t get him to stop so we took him down the the hotel lobby together with some puffs and he finally settled down. He played for nearly an hour then I took him to my room, rocked him to sleep (my back was shot at this point) and I slept holding him on the couch chair. I moved him into the bed a couple hours and later and he slept with hubby and I in the bed until 7 AM.

DAY 2

He was the happiest baby in the morning. Hubby was sooooooo DONE! I wrote it off as -- it was the first night, he was nervous, it’ll be better tonight. We handed him off to my brother so we could sleep a little longer before the festivities began. Krish was his normal, jolly self at the wedding and we apologized to several people for the crying. Krish took a 3 hour nap in the bed and was zen baby again! He stayed up until 9 (his normal bedtime is 8 CST so 9 EST was bedtime!) at the reception and then we took him to the room. He was so tired, he was falling asleep eating his naan. He fell asleep on my shoulder on the way up to the room and I changed him while he was still asleep. Did a swift, successful transfer to the pack n play and hubby and I sighed in relief. Our baby was back.

UNTIL-- he started wailing at midnight! WTF zen baby was all I could think. Hubby was ready to throw him in the car and drive home, but I wasn’t ready to give up my much needed vacation. I told hubby to sleep cuz he had to drive us the next morning and took krish back to the lobby. My dad joined me after the wedding and we played with krish until he was tired. I took him to the room, rocked him to sleep and we were back in the couch chair. I’d taken a Tylenol at this point because my back was ACHING LIKE CRAZY!

We moved into bed an hour later and slept until 9 AM. Sleep was on and off for hubby and I because we are not used to co sleeping and I was very aware that there was a little baby next to me.

DAY 3:

Krish slept the entire was to West Virginia (4 hours) and so did I! Hubby was hero and drove the entire way. That night, I prepared myself. We had two beds and I decided Krish would sleep with me. I rocked him to sleep and he slept next to me all night! I woke up several times with either a foot or butt in my face. and yes--- he farted.

DAY 4:

THE SOLUTION!! We finally got to our cabin in Tennessee and Krish had his own room. We set up his pack n play-- feeling hopeful because we were in the middle of nowhere and we could actually let him cry it out. MUWAHAHAHA. We put him down for a nap and after 5 minutes of crying, he was asleep. So that night-- Krish went to bed at his normal bed time and slept 11 hours straight.

ALL HE NEEDED WAS HIS OWN ROOM.

What we learned was that our son is sleep trained to the point where he NEEDS his own environment. No one can be the room with him. We thought it was the hotel or the pack n play or just not being home, but it was specifically having his own room.

WHICH MEANS--- we are now only getting suites =) and mommy is okay with that.

I also secretly LOVED co sleeping with Krish, especially on night 3 when it was just me and him and he was snuggled into me. I really did cherish it that night. It was worth every ounce of exhaustion. <3

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mamajotes-blog · 7 years ago

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Be. Here. Now.

Krish is what I would call a really good kid. He eats when I want him to, goes down for his naps without a fight 99% of the time and sleeps from 8 pm to 7 am. His obedience allows me to be the best mom I can be because I get my beauty rest and it leaves me room for some me time. But then there are those days and nights where he refuses his naps, doesn’t want to eat anything I offer him and chooses to eat cheerios instead.

Yesterday was one of those days. Krish woke up at 3 AM and we put him back to bed. 10 minutes later, he was up again so I soothed him and let him cuddle on me. I found myself upset that he wasn’t letting me get my much needed sleep, thinking about how tired I would be that day. I thought about all the things I needed to do and wondered how I would get it done, but then I stopped those thoughts and realized, those things don’t matter. All that matters right now is Krish. Something is bothering him so much that he can’t sleep and he needs me right now.

So I held him close, kissed his head and let him drift off on my chest. He had a couple more crying episodes early that morning and continued his fussiness throughout the day and even though I was exhausted, I kept a positive, loving, happy energy. I could’ve easily been a grump and let my hormones and lack of sleep get the best of me, but one thing I’ve learned this last year is the energy I emit directly effects my son’s energy and mood. He was already a hot mess express, why add fuel to the fire. I was still able to get a couple things done, but didn’t put pressure on myself and Krish ended up going to bed pretty happy. What could’ve been a shitty day ended up being a not so bad day.

He did it again last night and was awake exactly at 3 AM, crying intermittently. (it wasn’t as dramatic as the night before) I don’t know what is bringing on this regression ( I'm assuming it’s a tooth), but I know that this too shall pass and too quickly at that.

These precious moments where he seriously needs me will come to an end sooner than I want and then I will miss the nights where he woke in the middle of the night to be held and kissed. So instead of missing it later and wishing I appreciated it more, I’ll appreciate it now. I’ll revel in the middle of the night cuddles as he holds onto me so tightly. I know I’m his world right now and I want to make sure he knows that he is mine.

We have to be selfless as mothers and sometimes I need to remind myself that. It’s not about MY sleep, it’s about HIS discomfort and lack of sleep.

All of this is just another part of mindful parenting. Being mindful of our thoughts, actions and attitudes towards our kids can effect their mood, attitude and our relationship overall. What we say, do, think and feel all matters!

So next time you’re having a difficult parenting moment---

Take a breath

remind yourself you are good enough

And... JUST BE.

Be present with your kids. Don’t worry about what needs to be done. Let the laundry sit on the floor and the dishes remain in the sink. Just hold them when they need you.

Take the moments, good and bad, as they come. Find the good in those challenging times. (I know its hard to find the good in a blowout, but they can bring out some laughs, right?)

This small, mindful shift in attitude can make the world of difference to our kids.

#mom #momlife #mindfulparenting #mommyblogger #momblogger #momofone #pregnantmom

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mamajotes-blog · 7 years ago

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DIY Fabric Baby Gate

I’m 6 months pregnant and was so tired of chasing my toddler up the stairs every five minutes. I had a farmhouse baby gate I made, but it just looked bulky and I really didn’t want something blocking my stairs all the time so I did a google search and found a bunch of links and pics to fabric baby gates. They run pretty pricey on ETSY -- one seller selling them for $190 (really makes me want to sell them lol) So I decided-- I’LL JUST MAKE ONE. (I made two actually-- one for my MIL’s house)

I waited a couple weeks before writing this post because I wanted to make sure my 1 year old didn’t figure out a way to open it or go under etc. It is keeping him off the stairs--SO FAR!

It was honestly so simple ( and only took me 45 minutes) and you can do it too for WAY cheaper than what’s advertised online. I bought elastic and used an old curtain I had at home. If you don’t have an old curtain lying around, use duck cloth or canvas. (Go search for some discarded curtains at Goodwill or any other local thrift store vs buying it from your local fabric store).

MATERIAL you’ll need:

-> Canvas or Duck Cloth (double the amount of your measurement plus some because it’s always nice to have extra

-> Elastic

-> measuring tape

-> sewing machine or thread & needle

-> 4 command hooks

-> sewing pins

First MEASURE -- Do not skip this step and “eye” it--- Measure the width and height of the opening you would like to cover.

Lay out your “curtain” on a flat surface (I used my bedroom floor). Measure out your width plus 3 inches and mark (with chalk or pencil) where you need to cut. Then measure your height plus 3 inches. (the extra 3 inches is your seam allowance for when you sew both pieces together.

Cut out the ‘front’ then use the piece to trace and cut the ‘back’.

Now you should have two pieces that are the same size. Place both pieces together with the “right” sides facing each other as shown below and pin together along the edges.

Now it’s time to sew! I used a sewing machine, but you can also do this with needle and thread (it’ll just take longer).

Sew a straight stitch along the edge, leaving about 1.5 inches of seam allowance but DO NOT SEW THE CORNERS. I started about 3 inches down each side and ended my stitch approx 3 inches before the edge of the fabric, leaving my corners open (that’s where we’ll put the elastic fasteners)

When you get to the last side, sew only about 2/3 of the way so you can have enough of opening to flip the fabric right side out. Below is how much space I left.

Now.. before we flip the fabric inside out... LET’S CUT SOME CORNERS! Cut off all four corners like so...

Now flip the fabric inside out so you can see the design on both the back and front and sew together the remaining 1/3 of the last side, folding in the uneven edges to get a clean look.

Cut four pieces of elastic -- I made mine about 7 inches long.

fold the elastic in half and place inside the corner like this...

Sew the corners closed, with the elastic. Do a double stitch over the elastic so it is extra sturdy. I did a zig zag stitch over the elastic to make sure it is secure. It should look something like this ...

After you sew elastic on all four corners, your baby gate is done! Now you just have to put it on and see if it works.

I used small command hooks because I felt that the elastic would stay on better and it has so far and placed them on four corners of the wall surrounding my staircase, with enough distance so the fabric was stretched out tightly. You don’t want it to sag or be oversized because then it will be very easy for baby to get under it.

TADAH! fabric baby gate and installation complete!

ALSO--- Should I be selling these bad boys on etsy?! LOL -- BUT WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?!

DISCLAIMER--> This is functional for the BOTTOM of the stairs or a hallway etc. Do not use this at the top of your stairs-- it is not safe.

#mommyblog #momlife #stayathomemom #mommyblogger #diy #diymom #coolmom #baby #babygate #diybabygate

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mamajotes-blog · 7 years ago

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The Story of Us <3

Here’s the quick version of how we met before I get into the juicy stuff---

Hubby and I have technically known of each other our entire lives (No-- we were not arranged in any way LOL). Our parents knew each other back in Burma and I met him maybe 2-4 times in my childhood. Then we met in 2011 at his brother’s wedding and became facebook friends. One day in 2013 when I was in Italy and couldn’t sleep, we started to facebook chat and that was all it took <3 many Skype calls later, I went to NY to visit him and within 6 months I moved in (stage 5 clinger?) We were married the next year and we have been together 5 years this July and married for 3 today! He is my best friend and I am seriously the luckiest girl in the world.

BUT it took serious work to get to this point -- for both of us! We had to grow as individuals and with each other at the same time. We were still a new relationship when we got married and we both agree that we were definitely not besties three years ago today. We loved each other, knew we were good for each other, believed that it would work, but had yet to fall deeply, madly into each other’s worlds. That first year of marriage was the year that broke us and the year that made us <3 Very shortly after our wedding, we found out I was medically infertile. We weren't planning on having kids right away, but after hearing that then was the most opportune time with me being only 27, we went straight into fertility treatments. It was his first year of fellowship and he was swamped. I was engulfed in fertility and trying to get pregnant. He was in his world and I was in mine. You can only imagine the distance that was created between us. As I continued with failed cycle after cycle, I got more and more frustrated, hating the toll the hormones took on my body and mind. He was as supportive as he could be at the time, always saying the right thing, but I could see he was disappointed too. We lost ourselves and the love we were growing with the dream of having a family slipping thru our fingers.

One day, 8 months after my diagnosis, we both looked at each other and exhaled. We said-- no more. We have each other and that was enough -- if we kept going, we’d lose that too. So we gave up hope of children, settled with “we’ll just have dogs”. I did some acupuncture because I read it helps and then just LET IT GO focused on me and us. We went on an epic trip, reconnected in ways I didn’t know I was missing, and ever since then, we have been inseparable in so many ways I can’t explain.

Then, miraculously, 4 months later, I was pregnant!

It’s as if it was supposed to happen when it did because those 4 months after fertility gave us the chance to become US -- we confided in each other more, loved each other more--literally became besties. We grew together <3

I am so grateful for the challenges we were presented with that first year of marriage because for one--it brought us closer than ever before nearly tearing us apart and two--I appreciate that little human we made with all my heart because we almost didn’t have him.

The journey of pregnancy and parenthood has only made me love my husband so much more because he took on the role of “dad” so effortlessly. I love how his eyes light up when he looks at our son and they light up even more when he sees me and our son together.

I never have to question if I am his world, because he shows in some way every, single day.

Three years ago, I married a guy because it felt right. Because I knew he was good for me. I knew there was something special there even if I couldn’t put my finger on it--I knew I had to dive in and go on this adventure with the most amazing man in the world <3

Thanks for keeping me on my pedestal, my love <3

p.s. if ANY of you are struggling alone with infertility--- please reach out to me...I’m always happy to listen and give my thoughts when warranted. It’s not your fault and there is hope <3

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