mamiepeers

[mamiepeers]

Don’t Think of An Elephant Book Summary

Key quotes and thoughts from Don’t Think of An Elephant! Know Your Values and Frame the Debate by George Lakoff. 

Systemic issues are not easy to explain, but progressive’s ability to frame them in a way conservatives and progressives alike understand is critical if we are to achieve political change to lead to greater freedom and equality. 

Strict Father Morality vs. Nurturing Parent Conservatives believe in “strict father morality” whereas progressives believe in a “nurturing parent.” Think James Dobson and the concept of “spare the rod, spoil the child” who says we should be punished for our transgressions, that people are born evil and need straightening out by a strict father. Conservative women and men tend to see male authority as protective and supportive. Thus, the “war on women” doesn’t resonate with them. 

What binds us together Conservatives and progressives believe in freedom. Rather than using a phrase like the War on Women, better to focus on “Freedom, which allows women to decide for themselves, whatever their views on abortion, contraception, and sex education.” 

Private depends on the public. We need highways, airports to allow business to travel to and from our businesses, to bring in tourists. We need parks to play in and libraries for education. We need an educated workforce to work in companies. “It is the freedom that public resources afford that make them central to democracy.” 

How is freedom achieved? Through the following:

Health = Freedom. Without health, we cannot enjoy life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. GOP renamed “Affordable Care Act” to Obamacare to associate it with government takeovers and death panels. We should continue using Affordable Care Act and other names that appropriately label services that give us freedom.

Education = Freedom. “Education tells you about the world and the possibilities in life. If you don’t know what’s possible, you cannot even set goals.”  (p. 63). Education teaches you to think, act, be socially engaged, act rationally, get facts for yourself. It gives you access to art, the beauty in life, and the knowledge to be a productive citizen. It helps people be empathetic and understanding to each other. 

Public education is publicly accountable and thus, not allowed to narrow the information made available to students (for example, teaching creationism versus science). 

Wealth = Freedom. Poverty is a freedom issue. People who are poor send kids to school hungry, have less time to participate in politics, have less access to health and education. Rich people relocate easier, travel easier, eat better food, have more social connections, have access to better jobs. 

“Conservatives see being poor as a personal failure, a failure of individual responsibility. But the reality is that poverty curtails freedom. There is a reason people speak of being trapped in poverty. They are.”

Equality = Freedom. All people should be free to marry whoever they love and want to be committed to for life. Also, women are human beings and have the right to control their bodies. When that is denied, they are not free. Sex education is important for women to control their bodies. Women need to control when they produce or not. Forcing a woman to undergo humiliation (forced ultrasounds) in order to exert control over her body is a freedom issue. Hounding women on the way into an abortion clinic is a freedom issue. 

“You are not free when you are not treated like other human beings with respect to how you function in an institution.”

“Discrimination is a denial of freedom.”

Unions = Freedom. Workers are profit centers yet conservatives like to speak of “wealthy company owners and investors as ‘job creators,’ that they ‘give’ people jobs, as if they just create jobs as gifts for people who are out of work” (p. 68).

Say, “Workers are profit creators.” It is the truth. Versus conservative rhetoric where they say “job creators” which favors corporations.

A decline in unions is a decline in wealth. 

Unions grant freedom from corporate servitude and wage slavery.

The power of many “resources” (as opposed to “asset” workers) is greater than one in ensuring employers do not, for example, steal or misappropriate pensions.  Unions create the best deal for “resource” workers. 

America is a country of immigrants. It is comprised of refugees fleeing from persecution, poverty, discrimination, death. “The issue is empathy and respect for these refugees as human beings” (p. 73). 

Runaway wealth began to accelerate during the 1980s when Reagan cut taxes on the wealthy.  Wealthy people and corporations have lobbying power with public officials, own media outlets, sponsor shows, buy massive advertising. They gain control of state legislature and voting rights of poor. They control information. (read, in Nevada, Adelson owns the Las Vegas Review Journal and recently published a favorable spread about Dean Heller’s productivity along with his colleagues in a Republican congress in 2017 when the forced the tax scam on millions). 

Runaway wealth is out of control and the way to regain control is to change politics. In 1976 in the US, the top 1% had 19.9% of the wealth of the nation. In 2010, the top 1% had 34% of the wealth, top 5% had 63%, top 20% had 88.9% of the wealth. That leaves 80% of the population with only 11% of the world’s wealth. 

As the nation’s wealth to the wealthy rises, the freedom that wealth buys to enjoy life, influence policy, declines for most Americans.

State control is cheaper than national control, which is why it’s critical we ensure control over state politics. As Republicans and the Trump Whitehouse stop federal funding for health care, education and women’s rights, they direct decisions to the states, where they depend on Republican seats to enforce conservative agendas.

Progressives must pay attention to local politics and midterm elections and ensure Democrats are voted in (mission accomplished in Nevada where we have early voting, voting from any poll station rather than only in your jurisdiction, etc!).

We are in a “government by corporation” society now. Corporations have achieved extreme wealth and, by way of Republicans, have been given the rights of human beings and citizens. Corporations govern our lives. Corporations have improved lives by providing pharmaceuticals, computer technology, telecommunications. Their innovations, however, have been made possible, through developments made possible through public resources: computer science, medical research, satellites.

The wealthier corporations get, the more power they have to avoid regulations and to pass the cost of doing business onto consumers. It’s called the “externalization of costs” - an example being waste clean up. Pollution dumped into water sources from fracking are cleaned up by the government; global warming caused by a chemical release from companies is paid for by consumers who pay higher insurance premiums in areas now frequently hit by disasters, for example. 

Will the government by corporation afford us the greatest life, liberty, happiness? 

A nurturant morality views ethical behavior centered on empathy and responsibility (for yourself and others needing your help). Many things follow from this: fairness, minimal violence (for example, justice without vengeance). Conservatives follow a policy of self-interest, using strict father morality as the guide, such as when Bush went ahead with the Gulf War, where a million civilians died of the affects of our war against them and the embargos - we destroyed water treatment plants, hospitals, etc. 

The second Bush led the war in Iraq, which was supposed to cost $40 billion dollars; it cost us $3 trillion so far and counting, if you consider the cost of veterans getting injured. This war was paid for through, at the time, our social security surplus.

Money spent on war drains public resources at home.

[mamiepeers]

Greatest pep talk ever

[Madlibs completed from “How to Live Your Happiest Year Yet” by Oprah.com]

CONFRONT YOUR FEARS

If I were truly brave, I would write a book. But I’ve been telling myself I can’t because I don’t write well, I work too much, I would rather spend time working out and cooking healthy food, no one would be interested in what I write, I don’t have a nice notepad, I can’t locate the best story I ever wrote about my Grandpa right before he died, and because my content is too controversial and too trivial and not interesting to anyone but me.  Really, though, the worst thing that could happen is no one reads it or people read it and think I’m stupid or basic.

CALL IN REINFORCEMENTS

My bravest friend, Stephanie, would tell me to go have a Starbucks and a spray tan. Which is the same thing as saying just do it. But I’m afraid other people, like Helga or Angela Cooper or Daryl Morris, will say that I’m stupid and not funny and self interested. If that happens, I’ll respond by saying I did it all to unburden myself of stories that I thought were great and prove once and for all that they are not so that then I can sleep at night.

Asking for help doesn’t make me look weak. When things get hard, I’ll call in Dave Peers because he is supportive and has good advice, my mom because she reads things like a child, and Stephanie because she will laugh at me and help me not take things too seriously. If I need an honest opinion, I’ll ask Liz  because she has an east coast point of view, Cassie because she has a reasonable point of view and reads lots of books, Lindsey because she has a great sense of humor and will likely support, Mark because he wouldn’t mind telling me what’s wrong with how I construct sentences or Corey because he would be the most honest of all.  Amy will tell me what I cannot say, which will also be very useful. Having people on my team will make me feel supported.

DARE YOURSELF TO GET STARTED

If I want to begin writing a book right this minute, I can start by thinking of my perspective and making a list of all the stories I could tell. Then, over the next few months, I can start writing those stories and determining my purpose, voice and point of view. I can finish two stories a month. By December of next year, I can have 24 stories. Even if, I lose track, or get busy, I won’t give up because I know these stories keep me up at night and that someone (maybe just even Bennie) could benefit from the lessons I learned as I’ve lived my life. Or at least I will sleep better knowing I have tried to do something that I thought I could do my whole life. 

Background on 2015

I started this year with the singular goal of getting outside more. This began by going out on walks at Wetlands Park, an area of Vegas I discovered in January of 2015 after living here for 15 years. For shame! The walks evolved into aiming to get home earlier before the sun went down so I could see Bennie. Then it evolved further into me electing to voluntarily joining a “fitness cult” (I joked) called Real Results Fitness. I lost 15 pounds in 90 days and about 4 inches in my hips, 2 in each arm. Other than feeling the strain of overworked muscles and tendonitis, I feel great at 9/10 the size I used to be. At the same time, The Cosmopolitan was kind enough to help me move out of internal communications and into digital marketing. So in the next few weeks I’ll launch a website, create a new team, onboard an agency. It will be busy but amid all that I want to pursue things that matter to me in life. Bennie is almost 2 and i want to keep spending more time with him and Dave. At the tail end of 2015 I invested in house slippers from Walgreens and they changed my life almost as much as kale. 

[mamiepeers]

Talking it out

When I ran down Hollywood Boulevard this morning shortly after sunrise, I noticed Mamie Van Dooren’s star on the sidewalk. I took a photo even though I hate it when people take photos of streets by their name. It’s vain and cheesy. It’s easy to find most people's names and I wondered why they were always so surprised to see Stewart.

Kate Winslet, in an interview on set today said, “There is no acting. There is being. Don’t act. Be.” 

Many of my early days began like today, before the sun rose. Mom would take me to the shore of Makaha when the sky was grey, the sand still cool. The stage was set for her to workout with Auntie Rell. They would begin with a run through the sand, pitted with holes. Kicking the sand back. They would dig even bigger pits and climb in for hundreds of sit-ups.

They had rock hard abs, long dark hair, white smiles, laughing, dark eyes, a strong bond of single mother sisterhood. It was the eighties - before botox, clean eating and Soul Cycle. There was no liquid eyeliner or pomegranate face serums. Instead, there was salt water, wind and Olay.

The clouds were huge overhead and even now I can feel myself between those clouds, the cool sand, the ocean pulling me in. There was also this fresh new opportunity each morning to potentially find the very most complete and colorful and unique seashell imaginable. It required quiet walking, looking, nudging shells up from the sand with your big toe. A level of focus your body gives you at that time of day. Most of the time I collected small white broken pieces, but never lost hope, naive. When the sun started to rise, we’d walk back up the Valley to our apartment, barefoot.

Those mornings created a habit of looking for the perfect shell in each moment. This morning I took that habit for a run, found my name, and am not ashamed to admire it.

[mamiepeers]

Book titles

Makaha Sunrise Open your stride She’s right behind you When everywhere is home

[mamiepeers]

“The Joy of Signing”

When I moved to Kansas I spoke pigeon--a fun mix of Hawaiian colloquialisms and English. Where chicken skin means goose bumps. Where makapiapia is sleep in your eye. Not knowing the language of my classmates in an all white, private Lutheran school in Wichita, I chose to be quiet. I reverted into myself not knowing what to say our how to interact. I was probably talking but my most prevalent thought was, "Why is everyone staring at me?"

A few years later, in fourth grade, we moved to the Institute of Logopedics, a compound for the deaf, mentally challenged, and physically disabled. Special needs kids. We were there because the institute offered a discount to nursing students--somewhere around $200/month rent. It was nearby Wichita State University where my mom was a student and janitor. Anyhow, at the institute, picture twenty-five horseshoe pods of six brick duplexes with four homes in each. My hodgepodge neighbors and I suffered from all sorts of oddities--from an outsider's perspective--but we created a compelling community amongst ourselves.

My nearest neighbors who also benefited from the reduced rent had left Iran due to the turmoil of the 80s and the Shaw. They were doctors and nurses with strong families and stronger political beliefs. In fact, the two sets of neighbors didn't speak to one another but they spoke to me. With one family I would watch Saturday Night Live ("What's That? It's Pat!" is still a good reason to never go by my real name) and with the other I would eat traditional Muslim meals on a gorgeous rug in a room with all white walls and no television. We talked about the Muslim religion and I enjoyed hearing about it even at 10 years old. Looking back I am was blessed to sit in the living rooms of these families and see for myself that they could live side by side despite their appreciation or disdain for western values.

The institute also sat in the center of the black ghetto on 21st Street. It was an extremely marginalized and poor community, especially at that time. It's where I experienced our first attempted break ins. Our car was stolen twice. It was not a safe place at night. I stayed inside and my neighbors would watch as I walked from their door to mine, even though it was only three strides away. 

Looking back, we must of been a motley crew. Wheelchairs, hijabs, flip flops. 

Across 21st Street, opposite the Institute, there was a public library where I stole a book that I still have today. The library would only issue a card with a parent's signature, but my mom worked at the time the library was open. When I was home, mom was gone and vice versa. Anyhow--I was never able to get a card to check out a book. To this day I think it's criminal to deny people access to information which is why I'm so grateful for the Internet and public media. I will always financially support free, public media.

Anyhow, I stole a book from that library, The Joy of Signing. It was the first thing I stole and if I stuffed it in a bag or walked out bold. No clue.

The reason I stole the book was because I wanted to speak to the deaf kids in my quad. It was quiet, too quiet there. It would be cold and sad in winter and nearly dormant in summer. It was on its last few years before shutting down for good.

Learning sign language through a book, from sketches on paper, is extremely inefficient and inaccurate. I was never--and, I mean, never--successful at communicating on account of that book. 

Had I known of Marshall McLuhan at that point, I would have known that the medium of the message had a lot to do with my ability to learn from it. YouTube was 20 years into the future.

About 6 years a vivacious high school teacher who had a deaf son and who decided to teach sign language. What a great woman--she taught us about the culture and even took us to the school for the deaf to stay for a weekend so that we could bunk up next to the deaf. Her influence went well beyond language and shrunk the divide between known and unknown, removing the ignorance where prejudice and judgement grow. Her class was also after lunch so we spent extra time with her in detention. 

My best friend, Steph, took the class with me. The language proved useful in supporting devious teenage behavior. When I was on the basketball court cheering, Steph would be in the stands signing what time a party started and who was picking up beer and who would give me a ride from the game because she was bailing early. We would tell each other when it was time to go from a lame party or what dude was getting on our nerves.

The ability to communicate is essential to making connections in life--to feeling part of something. From a young age I've sought to become an expert in anything that removes barriers to self expression and community.

I love hearing others and I love it when they hear me.

It's serendipitous that I was born during the time when we transitioned from card catalogs to search engines, from books to websites, from welcome wagons to community managers.

Sometimes I wonder if what I’m doing is what I should be doing but then I think about the life that led me here. There is no better person. 

[mamiepeers]

Kind of what days are like these days

On the way home tonight there was a beautiful sunset. The clouds were lit up in gold--they were full and vibrant, right above my head. It was hard to concentrate on them, though, because there was an equally compelling episode of Fresh Air where Terry Gross was interviewing Ira Glass. Even though I wanted to cherish these beautiful moments, I was still rushing home and dodging my way through traffic out of habit. It was a fun, pleasant ride home.

The drive was after a long but interesting day at work with fun challenges to overcome in a short amount of time. One especially fun part of the day was a conversation with a social media company who was encouraging us to launch an external system. Won't get into details but my colleague's idea astounded me as much as his willingness to trust and share. There were moments where I grumbled over this and that but only because I'm overly dramatic especially when I have more than 2 cups of coffee.

Now I'm up late just waiting on a technical resolution to a big problem which is kind of like waiting for water to boil. Instead of reading the book I started last night (Lit), I stare at my computer and refresh my online help ticket. Refresh, refresh, refresh. Kind of wish they would just consider calling me with questions or updates so I could lay down and read my book instead of finding ways to entertain myself online while obsessively refreshing a page. It's my choice to refresh, but still.

I also stare at Facebook with another tab open to a NY Times article, "Deluded Individualism" that I read earlier tonight. It was shared by my cousin via Facebook.

All this is more desirable than sleep.

Hard to believe that I started out this day waking up to the TV in my bathroom where the candidate for the Missouri senate was saying ridiculous things about rape, abortion, women, reproduction. How can someone had get so far in life with so little understanding of it?

At work my boss busted me siphoning coffee from the fancy executive machine, which was funny. She was kidding. We had a light conversation after that which was an unexpected, delightful way to start my day on the job.

Once I got home I threw two steaks on the grill--carrying them by hand from the kitchen island to the grill which is absurd now that I think about it. Did blood drip on the ground as I carried the steaks through the house to the backyard? 

After that I researched personal finance with my husband, trying to decide what to do with a home that we can afford but that is worth half as much as it was when we bought it in Las Vegas back in 2005. I was mesmerized by the amazing budget services available on our credit card and banking sites. There are pie charts that show how much we've spent on travel, gas, insurance, medical. I was pleasantly surprised that massage was automatically categorized as "medical." My husband wanted to quit early but decided to entertain me by using his incredible estimation skills to aggregate pretty simple numbers found in multiple systems in his head so I didn't have to add. He almost bailed several times but I kept asking, "C'mon, what else do you have that's more important to do?" His math skills dazzle me and sped up the process. It would have taken me forever, despite the fancy new tools we discovered.

They restarted the system but that didn't work.

While sitting here I also realized through Facebook that my friends from Hawaii are all online, which of course makes me miss that place. Still, I like it right here, right now.

When I called the folks at work who are waiting for the fix, I ended up talking to one of them for about 30 minutes. This guy wanted some advice on a position he is applying for, which I hope he gets. I want everyone to get the jobs they want but it doesn't usually happen that way. The guy said he didn't really want to get off the phone because I'm so fun to talk to. We could assume that he's desperate because it's the middle of the night and we're both waiting around for future events but I smiled at the compliment anyway, which gets back to the point being made in the NY Times article up above.

This day is so full of life and I don't want it to end. Either I don't want it to end or the four cups of coffee I had earlier today won't let it. It's probably a combo of the two.

[mamiepeers]

Gloria Steinem's Interview

Steinem responds to the idea that women are too independent these days--making it tough for them to find men who are smarter, more accomplished. She says a woman who thinks that way, "Still believes that men need to have more money, have more education, be more successful, and weigh more than you. By the time you're finished with all of these things, it's a wonder that you even like each other. I mean, you may very well fall in love with  somebody who makes less money, who's younger than you, who weighs less than you."

She says Swedish prime minister, Olf Palme wrote that gender roles are the deepest cause of violence on earth--they normalize subject and object, dominant and passive, and group judgments in general.

"Men are deprived of their human qualities that are wrongly called feminine, and women are deprived of their human qualities that are wrongly called masculine." And of the woman who is stuck on finding a man who is more accomplished than her, "She can only go out with or marry a man who is superior to her. The problem there is that she is wanting to be defeated, as opposed to finding a partner. She thinks she's supposed to be defeated, like the Maid Marian Complex with Robin Hood."

Steinem says, "I think our moments of happiness really come from a feeling of unity." And she explains what this means by discussing her occasional fear of a plane crash, where she says, "Well, if I'm holding the hand of the person sitting next to me, then I'm holding everyone's hand."

She developed a habit of focusing on the future because of her childhood. She didn't like it--so she was always thinking about ways to get out of it. It became a habit. She wasted a lot of time she said. She developed a need to feel useful because she was neglected as a child. So she always said, "I can do that for you." Rather than working on new things, things that had not been done, that she couldn't do at the time.

Interview Magazine, August 2011, pp. 100-111.

[mamiepeers]

nevver:

Dadu Shin

[mamiepeers]

tenrewnna:

The Elected at Schubas last night. Now convinced that all musicians should play steel drums or other shiny instruments, as it reflects the light in a really great way. 

[mamiepeers]

Try some good food

Sorullitos de Maiz Corn Fritters

Ropa Vieja with Arepas 

Corn Ice cream

[mamiepeers]

Tina Fey. Love her.

thedailywhat:

Controversial Remarks of the Day: Yesterday it came to light that PBS had edited out remarks made by Tina Fey about Sarah Palin “and women like her” during her Mark Twain Prize acceptance speech.

This is what she said:

And, you know, politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women - except, of course —those who will end up, you know, like, paying for their own rape ‘kit ‘n’ stuff, But for everybody else, it’s a win-win. Unless you’re a gay woman who wants to marry your partner of 20 years - whatever. But for most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us. Unless you believe in evolution. You know - actually, I take it back. The whole thing’s a disaster.

PBS claims the remarks were cut because the show ran long. “We took a lot out,” says executive producer Peter Kaminsky. “[I]t was not a political decision. We had zero problems with anything she said.”

You can watch the unedited speech at PBS.org.

[thr.]

[mamiepeers]

Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content.

Louis L’Amour  (via kari-shma)

[mamiepeers]

nevver:

Printeresting

[mamiepeers]

The night I returned from Chicago, I felt fortunate to read this advice from a cookie.

[mamiepeers]

WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?

Mom forcing me to walk up the stairs. I didn't want to walk. I rather be carried.