Years ago, a male friend jokingly dubbed me "The Man-Hating Hellcat" and, after reemerging into the single life after several years, I am discovering that the name can, on occasion, still feel apt. For the record, I do not hate men, but I'm not shy about calling them out.
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Haiku - More Gentlemanlike Manner
Miss Elizabeth
Bennet would not have ever
put up with this shit.
#datinghaiku#dating haiku#haiku#jane austen#pride and prejudice#lizzie bennet#elizabeth bennet#dating#why i'm single
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Haiku - Courtship
Him to me, as girl
between us gropes at his crotch:
"So, what's your dream date?"
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Haiku - Smooth Move
Proud of smiling at
a cute guy without looking
so constipated.
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Haiku - First Impressions
In my fantasies
the meet-cute never starts with
"What is your cup size?"
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LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES #2
When on a first date with a guy and he asks to borrow your pen, then needs something to scribble on to get it working, take an extra moment to ensure that the piece of paper you dig out of your purse to hand him is not your entry slip for your last gynecologist visit. On the plus, this is a good way to start that whole "when were you last tested?" conversation.
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Haiku - Turn Off’s*
Wrong apostrophes
Turn my vagina into
a small Sahara
*title mangled ironically, just so we’re clear
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Learn from my Mistakes #1
If a guy has a name like the villain from an after-school special, you should probably not have sex with him.
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I read this very well-written piece and thought it was worth sharing. Brava, Iwantedwings.
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Haiku - Hard Work
Practicing my skills
Fellating a banana
A brand new low point.
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Quote
You don’t have to be anti-man to be pro-woman.
Jane Galvin Lewis (via introspectivepoet)
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This exact thought.
Amen
Sometimes I wonder why I’m single and think maybe it’s because everyone hates me and then I check my messages on OKC and I’m like no wait it’s because I hate everyone
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Haiku - No Game
I pick up on guys
By discussing Game of Thrones.
Never learned to flirt.
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Haiku - Can't Unsee
Flirty IM chat...
Oh my God! Giant dick pic!
Must go wash my brain.
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Haiku - Frak This
Online dating sucks
When your profile reads like mine:
Many nerd triggers.
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Haiku - He Likes Me
Likes my Facebook post.
We're totally hooking up!
Or he just likes cats.
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