mangodestroyer

[mangodestroyer]

[mangodestroyer]

And soon, he'll be removed from my bookshelf! Sorry, I'm slow about decluttering.

i'm so glad neil gaiman is getting removed from good omens. first the finale, then the graphic novel and now the upcoming store.

[mangodestroyer]

"I sort fics by kudos and only kudos on stories with high kudos counts, why aren't there more stories with high kudos, I ran out of things to read." You're part of the problem.

"Authors artificially inflate comment counts by thanking people, I can't find anything with a real comment count to read." No they fucking are not, they're grateful for engagement.

"I can't read anything under 100k." That's the majority of fics you're ignoring, most novels aren't even that long.

"I don't have time to look for the incredibly rare diamond in the rough, so I won't read anything below a certain amount of kudos, comments, and hits." Those fics are popular because people gave them a chance and then snobs like you found them.

"I won't read anthing with a single typos." You made typos in that sentence, get off your high horse.

"One singular author didn't thank me for commenting, I'm never commenting on any fic again so I don't get burned." You're punishing people because someone didn't give you engagement they don't owe you that they might not have seen.

"This fic is three months old, it's so old, it doesn't matter if I comment or kudos, it's old." Fics do not have expiration dates, comment and kudos.

You're killing your fandoms with your snobbish behaviors.

[mangodestroyer]

I've been eating healthy for two days. It's hard! My body isn't used to it! I'm craving grilled cheese so bad right now!

In some ways, though, I already feel pretty good! I think my body appreciates that I didn't eat fast food recently.

But fruits and vegetables do this thing to me where they make me feel like I'm starving. Seriously! It doesn't seem to take too much fiber or vitamins for my body to decide it's "satisfied" and go nuts! High energy, extreme hunger, rapid weight loss, etc. Makes it kind of hard NOT to overeat!

[mangodestroyer]

It seems like this applies to other areas of life too!

I'm authentic and hardworking. I've started doing more to work on myself. I'm direct (say what I mean), but not rude or malicious in my communication. I'm just vibing and genuinely trying to connect with others. Sometimes, I go out of my way to help others! Okay, I also happen to be autistic. But come on! A little bit of awkwardness isn't the end of the world, is it?

Yeah, my social life is a sad, tragic joke. I've been rejected in traumatic and cruel ways. Meanwhile, I'll see people who are SO OBVIOUSLY horrible people get flocked with supporters! Later on, shit ends up hitting the fan, and everyone in these groups starts fighting. Then the supporters wonder why things didn't work out while flocking to another OBVIOUSLY horrible person! Or maybe just forgiving the previous one!

That's just human nature, I guess. Maybe people find evil individuals tumultuous and thrilling. Like, they're somehow smart themselves for befriending someone who is "secretly" behaving in taboo ways. They admire that person for being "so bold", when really, they're just impulsive and haven't worked through their issues. They think that befriending people like this will lead to status and fortune for themselves. Which, yes, I suppose sometimes it does. But, nah! Sometimes they get fucked over pretty bad!

Worst of all, I assumed that, since horrible people who like horrible people tend to ostracize me, there's a good chance I'll end up with another authentic weirdo like myself! Nah! I just ended up dating a shithead who PRETENDED to have a lot in common with me! But the relationship was secretly a conquest to get me to change myself and become a useful maid and follower who paid "half the bills." I have other people who pursue me these days. They don't ask me on dates or anything. The most persistent ones just expect me to automatically be crazy about them because... duh! They're so awesome and I'm such a loser! I even have a guy right now who borderline stalks me and is trying to bully me into dating him. He gets mad if I socialize with anyone else. But we're not even friends! The entitlement is unreal! But of course! He has friends and now people are encouraging him! The same people who encourage him also tend to ostracize me! Guess I'm just not a human being in their minds?

I've spent most of my life as a recluse. I don't think there's a whole lot out there for people like me. I thought my social issues before were caused by me not being confident enough or whatever. I now genuinely believe that I am not valued or wanted. This is made even more obvious to me because... there have been times where this rejection has caused me to show obvious signs of mental health struggles, and no one cared! They just further tormented me for it! But I always see other people getting doted on and such. So, yeah. It's best for my own mental health if I block out most of the world and live in my head.

god I could be so wealthy if I had no ethics. that's so fucking frustrating. I'm living paycheck to paycheck because I'm not grifting vulnerable idiots on TikTok. I feel like I have the ability to very easily scam people. I could make a killing with AI. but god. I have morals and ethics and so I get to be poor as shit. I hate this fucking world

[mangodestroyer]

Terry Pratchett was a big David Tennant fan particularly loved his run and take on the Doctor

I'm okay

[mangodestroyer]

"Fire warm. Me happy!"

Probably a literal snake thought. Simple noodles! Very easy to please!

crowley core

[mangodestroyer]

I hope it just explores previous dark themes that were hinted at in previous seasons. Like, would we be surprised that Crowley and Aziraphale have been mistreated? No! Would we be surprised if one of them died? Yes!

"What was the scene that broke you the most?" question to Rob

Of course he answers the kiss scene-

But he also alluded that scenes in S3 broke him! Is this good or bad news for our fragile hearts?

[mangodestroyer]

Idk why, but I've seen a sharp increase in the amount of guys who express interest in me the past few years. All sorts of guys. Sometimes, it's attractive guys smiling at me and helping me with stuff. Sometimes, it's the good kind of nerdy guy timidly asking me what I'm doing this weekend. Sometimes, it's a total creep!

I feel broken. I just don't enjoy the attention that much. I like the idea of being attractive, but... idk. I feel like people are expecting me to get into a relationship with a guy. A guy! Like, immediately! Even when I don't know them well or see red flag behaviors.

It's not that easy for me to get feelings for someone. I'm also so used to being an autistic recluse that the idea of dating a GUY I hardly know makes me kind of depressed.

Oh, yeah. I guess I'm also not all that attracted to gender conforming cis men. I never even imagined myself spending my life with one! Now that the option is in my face, I feel gross! Like, idk, maybe it'd be a lot more exciting if a non binary person or a woman was this into me?

[mangodestroyer]

Yeah, there's this weird thing with my generation where people are allergic to being too invested in or passionate about things. I'm extremely autistic, so this apathy culture is further isolating me from my peers because I NEED to have intense interests in order to have purpose in life (and I'm seen as a freak for, say, being genuinely interested in my college major).

I think it's modern day social media platforms doing this. Forums, gatherings, and magazines encouraged community engagement and required longer attention spans in order for you to actually get an experience from these things. Now, you can just watch tik toks or shorts for fandom content and call that engagement. On top of that, people don't read as much as they used to.

I wouldn't be surprised if other hobbies, such as drawing, have also seen a decrease in participation (it's not just social media causing this, life has also become more demanding). Lastly, is it just me, or are people a lot more afraid of taking creative risks with their fanfiction, art, headcanons, etc?

Needless to say, fandom culture isn't as fun as it used to be.

People need to get over this phase of abandoning fandoms so fast. There are 70 year old women still into Spirk and you people can’t hold onto a man for a month. Shape up and stop abandoning your gently used blorbos in wet cardboard boxes on the side of the highway after a week

[mangodestroyer]

Sweet girlies Cookie, Taffy, and Pudding!

[mangodestroyer]

I forgot to add to my last reblog, have I ever mentioned ambiguous grief around you? I've looked into this and I try to remind myself of it. I think I tend to idolize scenarios before they happen and have too high expectations for others. I'm dealing with this when it comes to in person university. I expected whimsy, young adult shenanigans and adventures, and lots of intellectual and philosophical discussions from my peers. Instead, it just feels like a worse version of high school. And the other top students can be so stuck up and catty. It's actually the worst social experience of my life. I actually started to wonder if I wasn't human solely because the people in my major shun me and act like I'm invisible. It seems they hardly even gave me a chance. Ouch! And I switched from math to geophysics partly because I thought that would lead to more authentic interactions with peers. I thought geology and environmental science students would be higher in openness. Would like going on hikes and such. I was so wrong! Turns out, lots of people pick these majors because they assume they're easy and they just want to rush through for a degree. Weirdly enough, they're also arrogant and tend to assume I don't know shit and just wandered into the classroom by mistake. I'm actually performing better than all of them! I work a nice job while going to school as well!

That's just a recent example. Now that I think about it, I realize my expectations were ridiculous. Straight from a fictional story. I assumed because I was so excited about the major and enjoy almost everything about it so much, everyone else would have that comical, PBS TV show energy about the sciences! I mean, isn't college for nerds?

Turns out I'm just a weirdo, but hey. It seems I've been welcomed amongst the professionals. They love my energy and dedication. They're excited for me because I read the books, do all of the assignments, and get the top scores. I also express lots of interest in research and work.

Now I failed for the longest time to understand other students' perspectives. They either might not be as academically inclined or they just don't care. Most people going to college feel like they have to and don't get very much in financial support. Most students cover all costs with private loans. That fucking sucks! I personally wasn't even sure if I'd go unless I had financial help. I got lucky and got scholarships and aid. I grew up broke and fit many vulnerable demographics while also being a top student. I should actually be quite grateful, and yes! I am grateful that life offered me the opportunity to educate myself on my special interests! But I will still graduate with debt. And, you know, college is quite a commitment. Just for the fact that it costs so much and requires so much work, you'd think people would try to enjoy it more. But then, some people's parents just force them to go and don't give them much helpful advice on fincancing their degree. Others have been convinced that there's no chance in hell that they can get a good job without a BS. And right now, STEM is grossly oversaturated because people think these are the only valid fields. This is quite flawed! So many other opportunities are getting overlooked! Life is far more complicated than that and a degree in computer science is actually not a golden ticket for a six figure job. I mean, while going to college, I do admin work I have no prior background for. That's the kind of work you can find anywhere! Lots of opportunities to climb up the ranks and get paid! It's a great way to escape retail hell if you've been stuck there for a while because your customer service skills will be highly valued and most of these jobs at the entry level don't often require credentials. Certificates and such are cheap and easy to earn. That's just one career idea that won't require college straight out of high school.

Actually, I'd say my peers suffer from ambiguous grief too. They are all trapped in the life script and think they failed if things didn't turn out being perfect. They all seem to want kids, a six figure job, a house, a spouse, a dog, and a white picket fence by 25. And yeah, I've had males get mad at me for not wanting to be their wifey who helps make it happen. I'm already 25 at this point. Probably a bit young to be realizing that shit just doesn't work like that. Many others are around my age and aren't doing well mentally because life didn't happen fast enough. I'm sometimes wishing things had been easier but I don't feel like I failed. I feel like I'm finally figuring it out. It just happened in a different way than I expected.

After watching a bunch of other media, I'm reminded of just how GOOD the romance in GO is!

I used to hate romance in TV shows and movies! HATE IT!!!

As an adult, I think I understand why.

I'm queer. Lots of media is very heteronormative. Lots of media enforces heavy gender roles and stereotypes. Lots of media is centered around cis men.

There is a lot of media out there where the male protagonist is portrayed as complicated and flawed. And the woman he knows nothing about, but who he's automatically in love with, feels a bit like a prop. The female love interest is treated like some weird creature the man needs to decode. Other men give him advice. It's sometimes portrayed like the women are irrational and unreasonable to want these things, but whatever! It's what you do to get a girl!

Or the woman only exists because she just really wants a relationship with this guy in particular! She was born for this! It's her whole life purpose! What's life without that man to support and his children to bare? /s

Or the woman is just portrayed as superficial. Again, the guy doesn't even know her well, but still wants to win her over. Even if she's already taken! My, God! You know its only because she's attractive! Dude, just let it go! She's just not into you! And she's supposed to be one dimensional and shallow, according to the narrative, so why would you even want her?

Or there's the assumption that everyone is constantly thinking about being attracted to other people of the opposite sex. Constantly! Like we're all secretly just like that! Am I just broken? Because I don't relate! I'm almost never attracted to anyone!

And worst of all, I feel like the people in my life watch this media and think that's how it should be! Totally not venting or anything. I'm just tired of random guys getting limerence for me because I exist in the same room as them sometimes and we're within the same age range. The flirting is awkward. Sometimes creepy and unpleasant. Like, legit, some people are upset because I don't magically want to partner up with a guy and have his babies. I mean, I was born female, he's a guy, and we're both in STEM! We must be soulmates /s

Seriously, it feels like there's no interest or attempt to actually know me as a person. They just expect that them being nice will mean that I love them. Because I must be crazy about finally finding a partner and having a family! You see, I'm just taking STEM classes for the sake of dating nerds! Not because I'm actually interested in this as a career or anything /s

Now I'm just beating a dead horse.

Point is, Crowley and Aziraphale are way more interesting! And for whatever reason, being genderfluid in media, or queer in general, is still unusual. It doesn't at all feel like these characters are following expected tropes or norms for romance. They literally just act like themselves and go on adventures and it just works! Alright, I get it, Aziraphale isn't fluent in the language of love. He still comes through! He's still very lovable and Crowley has good taste!

Two lovable goofballs who are literally against the world because they actually question things and can think outside of the box. So, obviously, they picked each other for some pretty good reasons. Ethics and values matter so much in a relationship! But, yeah. I sometimes wonder if I'm expecting too much from the world for wanting what they have!

But seriously. Good Omens was like a huge enlightenment event for me when it came to relationships! It projected onto the TV screen what I've secretly always craved. But thought I was so strange for wanting. Literally, I'm not looking for a partner to tick off life goals from a list. I just want another goofball who sees the world in a similar way as me (compatibility) and just wants to get through this together! Have fun together and try not to take this fleeting existence too seriously. But seriously enough! A nice mix between fun and responsible. Like, we just kick ass getting through the day and the life bull shit, and we go home and get up to shenanigans. I see relationships like this in real life. Sometimes. They do seem pretty healthy and sustainable. It beats the ones where people treat the whole thing like some life duty they MUST fulfill!

[mangodestroyer]

Darn! Ten years? That's rough! I'm grateful mine was at least short lived and that we never moved in together (two years). I learned a lot in those two years and probably saved myself a lot of time in the future.

However, after living on my own for a while, I've come to face a hard truth: I have a lot of growing to do myself. I'm just not adulting very well. I was never really taught how. I've started rethinking many things I do lifestylewise. I'm finally seeing value in budget sheets and planners. I now understand why people like having white board calenders. I'm starting to rethink what I keep around and what food I buy. It was difficult to learn this in the environment I grew up in. Also, when someone seems to scrutinize everything about you (while being far from perfect themselves), you don't listen when they nitpick actual flaws very harshly too. Now it's just my own commentary and I'm starting to see so much value in organization and planning! It was daunting at first because it seemed like so much extra work. Now, I realize it saves you time and headaches in the long run.

That's just one example. There are other things I'd like to work on. It's nice finally being able to do it at my own pace too. And not having it demanded of me RIGHT NOW. Growth and self-exploration take time.

Although it also sucks sometimes. You know, society tells you to spend time alone when you're struggling or broken. Alright, sounds harsh, but I'll do it! Whelp, turns out that's apparently not okay either. I've started finding peace on my own and now I've got men who get mad at me when I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship. Women too! What!? I thought because I'm autistic and traumatized, I'm just supposed to isolate myself and stop bothering others because as I was nicely told, "It makes me a toxic loser and I'm weird and creepy for wanting companionship." So, I just don't get it. Now I'm being treated like I'm toxic and lame for bowing out and working on myself? Just keeping to myself and doing my thing? Whelp, I don't hear this commentary when it's just me! Seriously, though. I can't seem to catch a break from shitty male behaviors and catty women. I must still be going to the wrong places or putting my energy into the wrong people. I've noticed this has become more of an issue as I've continued working on myself and putting myself out there more. Man... I just want to be strange and nerdy.

I'll admit though, being single becomes challenging when it seems you aren't getting on well with people in general. Then you kind of just wish you had a safe person. But I also know the reality of relationships and that these feelings are a common trap for how and why people settle or even end up getting abused.

It's rough. And when you start basing your standards off of media like Good Omens... you're just not going to find too many options in the dating pool. I've found that lots of people just don't share my values and desires in life. I'm just going to point out the elephant in the room too: misogyny is rampant and it kills romance. Because let's be for real, a lot of men and women don't see women as people. Just appliances. And we're just supposed to convince ourselves that this is fulfilling. I'm glad I studied ableism and feminism. I also sometimes hate that I did.

After watching a bunch of other media, I'm reminded of just how GOOD the romance in GO is!

I used to hate romance in TV shows and movies! HATE IT!!!

As an adult, I think I understand why.

I'm queer. Lots of media is very heteronormative. Lots of media enforces heavy gender roles and stereotypes. Lots of media is centered around cis men.

There is a lot of media out there where the male protagonist is portrayed as complicated and flawed. And the woman he knows nothing about, but who he's automatically in love with, feels a bit like a prop. The female love interest is treated like some weird creature the man needs to decode. Other men give him advice. It's sometimes portrayed like the women are irrational and unreasonable to want these things, but whatever! It's what you do to get a girl!

Or the woman only exists because she just really wants a relationship with this guy in particular! She was born for this! It's her whole life purpose! What's life without that man to support and his children to bare? /s

Or the woman is just portrayed as superficial. Again, the guy doesn't even know her well, but still wants to win her over. Even if she's already taken! My, God! You know its only because she's attractive! Dude, just let it go! She's just not into you! And she's supposed to be one dimensional and shallow, according to the narrative, so why would you even want her?

Or there's the assumption that everyone is constantly thinking about being attracted to other people of the opposite sex. Constantly! Like we're all secretly just like that! Am I just broken? Because I don't relate! I'm almost never attracted to anyone!

And worst of all, I feel like the people in my life watch this media and think that's how it should be! Totally not venting or anything. I'm just tired of random guys getting limerence for me because I exist in the same room as them sometimes and we're within the same age range. The flirting is awkward. Sometimes creepy and unpleasant. Like, legit, some people are upset because I don't magically want to partner up with a guy and have his babies. I mean, I was born female, he's a guy, and we're both in STEM! We must be soulmates /s

Seriously, it feels like there's no interest or attempt to actually know me as a person. They just expect that them being nice will mean that I love them. Because I must be crazy about finally finding a partner and having a family! You see, I'm just taking STEM classes for the sake of dating nerds! Not because I'm actually interested in this as a career or anything /s

Now I'm just beating a dead horse.

Point is, Crowley and Aziraphale are way more interesting! And for whatever reason, being genderfluid in media, or queer in general, is still unusual. It doesn't at all feel like these characters are following expected tropes or norms for romance. They literally just act like themselves and go on adventures and it just works! Alright, I get it, Aziraphale isn't fluent in the language of love. He still comes through! He's still very lovable and Crowley has good taste!

Two lovable goofballs who are literally against the world because they actually question things and can think outside of the box. So, obviously, they picked each other for some pretty good reasons. Ethics and values matter so much in a relationship! But, yeah. I sometimes wonder if I'm expecting too much from the world for wanting what they have!

But seriously. Good Omens was like a huge enlightenment event for me when it came to relationships! It projected onto the TV screen what I've secretly always craved. But thought I was so strange for wanting. Literally, I'm not looking for a partner to tick off life goals from a list. I just want another goofball who sees the world in a similar way as me (compatibility) and just wants to get through this together! Have fun together and try not to take this fleeting existence too seriously. But seriously enough! A nice mix between fun and responsible. Like, we just kick ass getting through the day and the life bull shit, and we go home and get up to shenanigans. I see relationships like this in real life. Sometimes. They do seem pretty healthy and sustainable. It beats the ones where people treat the whole thing like some life duty they MUST fulfill!

[mangodestroyer]

Well, Aziraphale is a principality. It's in the name. That's what this type of angel is supposed to do. Aziraphale might not be one for fighting, but that's because his priorities are in the right place. He chooses to protect Crowley and humanity. Why wouldn't he? Both are victims of a highly oppressive system. Crowley's situation just hits closer to home. I personally see Crowley's fall as the embodiment of rejection for doing right in the "wrong" way. It's a highly tragic character arc in my opinion. I'm autistic and can't mask. I do try to help. But my "help" often involves harshly criticizing norms and those who uphold them to oppress others. My studies are also controversial, but needed more than ever. Crowley's fall feels like rsd.

Aziraphale, an angel, is someone who exists as a more "acceptable" being. The fact that he sees Crowley for who he truly is, despite being more privileged, is awesome! Aziraphale has been nothing but adoring, supportive, and protective of Crowley. Why would that change now?

i like the headcanon that aziraphale was trying to protect crowley and i will die by it

[mangodestroyer]

I believe it! Maybe not as much the dyscalculia though? Idk, some professionals think I have autism and ADHD. And I do have something like mild dyslexia. But I've also found ways to become an amazing reader and have more patience for long math problems. In fact, I'd say math gets better for divergent minds at a higher level because it isn't as much about mindless calculation. You actually get more of a story behind it. Or you can get into things like linear algebra, which is what nonlinear thinkers like me wish we were taught sooner because damn! It's so easy and efficient! But no, apparently, other people don't agree with me there. They hate these creative systems and they hate math even more when it has a story.

But Crowley? That guy is hacking computers and came up with scientific concepts from day one. Sure, I suppose based on my own experience, some reading and calculating can get tricky and he sometimes has to take his time (especially when in a sleepy snek mood). But it doesn't seem to be enough to subdue his logical mind. He definitely finds a way! In fact, as a STEM nerd myself, I really wish people would explore this side of Crowley more. He's the original neurodivergent brilliance! And knowing Aziraphale, being the bookie he is, it's probably a huge part of why he's attracted to Crowley. It's not just because he's a handsome demon who secretly has a heart. No, he's so in love with Crowley when he sees him squeeing about the stars and the universe he'd just created. It just happened to later translate into Crowley being a cunning demon with a heart of gold.

crowley from good omens is autistic and has adhd and dyscalculia (headcanon)

submitted by @pinetreesreblogs

[mangodestroyer]

No.

We've been trending for no apparent reason, as usual.

8.8.25 - day 5

[mangodestroyer]

Damn, this is a good one!

Ended up picking Game of Thrones though. Even though I'm more personally attached to Good Omens. Like, I get it. July of 2024 was a catastrophe! I don't think we've recovered yet. But that was also a can of worms that needed to be opened. He needed to be held accountable! Better now than never! Plus, there are so many other people who care a ton about the source material and the other og author was a great person (at least, I hope). We'll survive.

The shit that happened to Game of Thrones was chaotic stupid. LOTS of people were invested in that series. Probably a lot more money went into producing it than Good Omens. I can't come up with a valid reason for how it ended that way! I know they say laziness, but... idk. I just don't know how anyone can produce an ending like that on accident.

Still, Good Omens doesn't feel the same. Not even a year later! How such a horrible man ever became so strongly associated with something so wholesome is beyond demented! It sucks because I use AziCrow as an example of what I think love and romance SHOULD be! I praise Good Omens for having such a revolutionary take on love and companionship! I mean... so much other media just enforces toxic tropes and shows nothing more than a superficial fantasy! At this point, I forget he was ever a part of it at times because his real life actions don't match with the art.

Semifinals

Battle of the Burned Fandoms