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Conversation that Tumblr is not ready for:
A Vampire's fangs are also it's reproductive organs
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Tim Curry must turn all the scenery he chews into pussy. It's the only way he can serve that much cunt.
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not the newsies reunion i expected but the newsies reunion we needed
please watch it all vvv
youtube
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"average cat owner spends 3 years in prison" factoid actualy just statistical error. average owner spends 0 years in prison. Miette's mother, who kicked her body like the football and went to jail for One Thousand Years is an outlier adn should not have been counted
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why do stanford pines and castiel look so much alike???


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No, you misunderstood. When I said I can’t feel romantic or sexual attraction I wasn’t complaining, I was bragging.
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The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.
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Just because I'm AroAce doesn't mean I don't want a relationship. I want one, only instead of it being like Marshall and Lily from "How I Met Your Mother", I want one like Penelope and Derek from "Criminal Minds". Full of name-calling and innuendo, that shocks people and makes them feel scandalized and completely platonic.
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I FUCKING LOVE NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE

I’mma sing you a sacred psalm
On your knees, pray along…
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We did a Hatchetfield marathon recently and my decade-long on-again off-again Starkid obsession came ROARING back!! Grace Chasity was designed to appeal to everything I love to paint, so naturally here I am ✨
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Dude even had the audacity to say “you’re slipping” when will only cut one of the three stings holding horace’s hands together
Why have I not seen LITERALLY ANYONE talk about how in Erak’s Ransom, when Will saves the group, Horace yells “Will!!” And holds up his tied hands AND WILL SHOOTS IT AND FREES HIM??? LIKE THAT WAS SO COOL WHY DO WE NEVER TALK ABOUT THAT????? The fact that, number one, Horace knew Will was skilled enough to do it, number two, Horace TRUSTED Will not to shoot his hand, number three, Will understood what Horace wanted him to do, and finally, the fact that WILL WAS ABLE TO DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?? Now obviously rangers are very trained and blah blah blah but THATS STILL BADASS????
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“Jason should have ducked”
Jason gave Bruce a gun to shoot him with.
Jason gave him three options but there are only two results. Either Joker dies and Jason is left alive or Joker lives and Jason is too dead to care. That’s not an accident you have to understand.
It’s the most miserable “win if I win, win if I lose” I’ve ever seen set up and it worked. The neck slice moment isn’t just written for shock value it’s a demonstration of the truth of Jason’s point. Sometimes refusing to choose one over the other is just a choice for the other.
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always and forever thinking about bruce and jason and the ways their Big Grief influences their respective philosophies as vigilantes
like I love jason todd with all my heart. I get the fanon desire to make him less prickly for the sake of writing a simpler family dynamic (removing jasons autonomy as a murderer, for example, and putting his actions wholly on the lazarus pit instead)
I also think that, boiled down, it’s very hard to imagine a world where he doesn’t see murder as justifiable. where agreeing to a no-kill isn’t totally against his values as a character, as someone who was a victim of child murder and came back outraged that he wasn’t avenged
Bruce sees every killer as his parents’ killer. he wants them brought to justice
Jason sees every death as his death. he wants the victims acknowledged
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While we're on the topic of De-aging AU's I wanna talk about Jason and Damian if Jason was 14 again real quick.
Do you guys think that Damian looks at this version of Jason, so different from the version he knows, nothing like the person he was told Jason was, and feels uncomfortably seen?
Damian was always told that Jason died because he was reckless, because he disobeyed orders, he was fired as Robin and he got himself killed. A cautionary tale, not a threat to his position. He dismisses Jason because Bruce does, because Dick does, because sometimes even Babs and Alfred do.
That's not the kid that he's looking at now. This Jason is happy, and smart, and full of love that has not yet soured into grief. He hangs on Bruce's every word, trains until his hands bleed and his body gives out to perfect the moves Bruce teaches him. He looks at Bruce with stars in his eyes and he calls him dad.
And Damian can't help but think, that this is the perfect Robin. The perfect son. And if Jason - sweet, loving, strong, Jason - can be fired, can die and have his room locked away and his pictures torn down, can have his last memory as Robin be as A Good Soldier, how could the rest of them ever compete? What could Damian do to stand a chance?
Jason will never grow out of the shadow of Robin, like the rest of them did. As long as Bruce, and Dick, and Babs, and Alfred look at him and see a dead kid who came back wrong, he will never get to be anything else. He will not get to be looked at through who he is now without the shadow of a dead boy looming over him.
And the worst part? Jason is exactly the same person he was back then. Bitter, sure, angry, justifiably, but he is still the boy with too much love in his heart and righteous fury festering in his gut. He is exactly the same boy who threw himself in front of an explosion to save his mother.
(The lines between the mother that betrayed him and the father that disgraced him are so very blurred. Fire or blade or crowbars or fists it does not matter. It ends the same way it always does because Jason Todd always dies, in every universe, in every timeline, Jason dies and crawls out only to be killed again and again and again.)
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when two musicians sing into the same microphone and lean in very close to each other… like omg are you guys gonna kiss now to relieve the homoerotic tension?😳
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