matinbrackets

[matinbrackets]

INDUCING 💥💥💥‼️‼️🦅🦅💥🐺

[matinbrackets]

cw: smoking, alcohol

someone who Does Not smoke (except for when they do, at the occasional party) because 1) it’s bad for you and 2) it makes them sneeze like a motherf*cker. A few times a year, they step out to indulge in a drunk cig, attempting to be chill but facing immediate laughter and teasing from their friends who know exactly what is about to happen. They bring a few tissues outside with them, but they sneeze straight through them by the time the cigarette is gone. They stay out on the porch to ride out the sneezing fit for long minutes, wiping their nose on the back of their forearm, pinching it and closing their eyes, trying just about anything to end this ... humiliation? inconvenience? borderline pornographic display? depends on how you look at it … Eventually they slink back inside, riding their pleasant little buzz that is nearly, but not quite, overshadowed by the drippy, tickly nose they’ve just acquired

[matinbrackets]

Thinking about a man with a pollen allergy in a wedding party. He’s all dressed up, matching all his friends as they stand around and share memories about the groom before the ceremony. The abundance of flowers in the venue are starting to get to him, but he took an allergy pill, he prepared for this. He sniffles and wipes his nose on the back of his hand. It’s getting itchy, but it’s nothing he can’t handle. He starts telling a story about the groom in college but has to pause mid sentence, turn his back to the group, and stifle a double into his palm. hih’gntx—chiEW.

The little flowers in his jacket pocket are not helping. He considered asking to wear a pocket square instead, but then he would have been the only one, and he really didn’t want to make a big deal about this. But now that he’s here, walking up to the front of the room where he’s expected to stand silently and watch an entire wedding ceremony, it seems like he could have made a slightly bigger deal about it.

His sinuses are on fire. The ceremony doesn’t seem close to done — wow these vows are long — and he’s not sure he’s going to make it. He’s been on the verge of a sneeze the whole time, taking slow, shallow breaths and twitching his nose up and down like goddamn kegels. It's started to run a little, and he dabs the drop as discretely as he can with his index finger.

Finally, the bride and groom kiss, the room bursts into a cheer, and he lets out three harsh sneezes into his sleeve. huh-tXIEW! ish-IEW! hehh-tchIEU! Wiping his nose with his other hand, he holds the soiled sleeve behind his back, careful not to let it graze his jacket or anyone else as they exit the venue. Those pocket flowers are going straight in the trash.

[matinbrackets]

Pressing the tip of a feather against someone's septum until the shaft curves to lay flat along it, both nostrils blocked oh so gently by the feather's width, and just. Held there. Not allowed to move.

How every breath through the nose would cause the feather to flutter juuuust slightly to caress the sides of the nostril. How every second the feather remained, the nose would grow slowly, slowly, but steadily ticklier as microscopic dust and feather particles were drawn deep into their moistening darkness. How it starts, with a tiny sniff, and how minutes, hours later, it ends, with the endlessly teased nose in question bright red and flared so wide it nearly overtakes the feather's span once again.

No one moved the feather, not the inducer nor the sneezer, but a nose was brought over the edge nonetheless through the unstoppable, inevitable build of a gentle allergen

[matinbrackets]

Gently flicking a feather down to your fav's nostrils, hearing soft "uh" "ah" "eh!" while seeing their nose turn pink from the irritation

[matinbrackets]

We've heard about sneezing in a crowded elevator, how about sneezing in a crowded storm cellar? You definitely can't go outside, and the others can't demand that you do no matter how drippy and contagious you are (well I mean I guess they can, but I think most of us no matter how germaphobic wouldn't want someone to get killed by a tornado because we are anxious about catching their cold).

Works with both colds and allergies too; imagine one is horribly allergic to the perfume someone else is wearing, or they have a dog in there with them, or whatever, and they're stuck close together in this tiny space until the danger is over.

I almost wrote something on that when I was on a C/riminal M/inds-kick, with B/lake getting stuck in a storm cellar during a tornado along with farmers wearing clothes full of hay and horse hair (which for some reason I headcanon her as allergic to lol). I guess most storm cellars are private and only the family that lives on the property use them, but I was thinking about that, if they have a guest or someone delivering something or a crime investigator or salesperson or I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, a stranger that has nothing to do with them (so they don't know their allergies or if they're coming down with a cold) but has a legit reason to be there at that moment, and they can't exactly send them on their merry way with a fucking twister bearing down on them.

[matinbrackets]

Or.la for Anon

[matinbrackets]

I keep thinking about how this "incorporating nature into cities"-thing will make allergy sufferers encounter pollen hell in the most unexpected places. ^^

I like this one in particular, just imagine pollen dripping off those flowers and onto the people waiting for the bus...!

Picture someone who just moved to the area and is dealing with allergies for the first time in their life... they're always woefully unprepared because they've never had to consider it, it's their first day at work, or they have an important meeting or job interview or date, and by the time the bus arrives they're a drippy, sneezy mess. 👀😈

[matinbrackets]

"guh. my nose is so big, i think the sneezes sometimes get lost up in there, find their way out. maybe i need to coax them out. could you help me, please? my nose is so itchy, i really need to sneeze, but they keep getting stuck. would you mind wiggling a feather under my big flaring nostrils? or maybe twisting a tissue around up there? or how about spraying some of that perfume you used to wear that makes me sneeze? i just really want to get these sneezes out of my big itchy nose. the i'm is driving me crazy and making my nose run and run. see? it's a runny snotty mess. i'm sniffling so much. guh. i need some relief. can you help me sneeze, please? i need to sneeze so bad, this tickly itch is starting to become unbearable. please help me sneeze, please, i'm begging you."

[matinbrackets]

can vanillas stop saying shit like this

[matinbrackets]

nsfw ~

Someone on top during sex having a sneezing fit, but doing a good job stifling it … until their partner grips their hips and gives them a firm tug, pulling them deeper inside, and the veneer of control just completely melts away.

[matinbrackets]

Guys, vanillas did it again

from The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson

[matinbrackets]

Y'all....look at what I saw at Good/will....

[matinbrackets]

Just assume all of my characters have boned at some point.

(18+ fem domme and monsterfuckery under cut) 懲

Keep reading

[matinbrackets]

Natural sneezes feel so much better than induced sneezes 🤧

[matinbrackets]

Saw these at Five Below and immediately had thoughts.

Someone staying at a friend/lover's place for the first time, settling down to go to sleep. Suddenly their nose starts to itch terribly, and at first they can't figure out why but they just. Keep. Sneezing. They can't find any candles or air fresheners in the room. Finally they realize the culprit. Scented pillow cases? Who thought that was a good idea??

[matinbrackets]

Well, I opened my closet to grab my duster and noticed a very strange storage decision.

I was probably high when I did that.

Anyway, I put them back.