mattamizer

[mattamizer]

reblog this to hug me

[mattamizer]

mom i can't go to school today, it's everytime we touch day

[mattamizer]

man the public defender discourse pisses me off so bad. yeah. yeah I do think that every single person deserves representation. yeah that includes people who *have* committed rape and murder and abuse. when I say every single person I mean every single person. if your idea of justice excludes one person it excludes everyone. next question

[mattamizer]

I will sew myself a shirt!

A shirt! How did the shirt go, @smiley-aea?

What is this blog? | Submit to get Killie another egg

[mattamizer]

Cat and kitten door knocker, Clun, England

This unusual door knocker from Clun, England, features a mother cat carrying her kitten — sculpted in cold, weathered bronze, yet full of tenderness.

Equal parts whimsical, eerie, and adorable, it feels like something out of a forgotten fairytale.

[mattamizer]

What you should and shouldn't do about censorship in 2025:

DO:

✅️ Spread the word on all platforms that you have an account on.

✅️ Sign as many petitions as you can.

✅️ Call, email, and fax your Senators and representatives about KOSA, the Screen Act, the BEARD bill, the HR 9495 bill, and COPPA 2.0.

✅️ Call Visa and MasterCard.

✅️ Cancel YouTube Premium if you have it.

✅️ Find alternatives for YouTube and refuse to use it at all on August 13th and for every day afterward until they remove their age verification policy.

✅️ Save everything that is important to you on USBs.

✅️ Protest.

DON'T:

🚫 Submit any form of ID to any social media platform or website.

🚫 Comply with censorship regulations of any kind.

🚫 Let anyone tell you that this is to "protect the children." If they wanted to protect kids, they would release the Epstein files and arrest everyone in them.

🚫 Give up.

[mattamizer]

I feel like a lot of people don’t quite get what a butler is. The role tends to get rounded off to ‘male servant’ pretty regularly in some media, whereas actually butlers are typically not just servants but chief servants. The butler was generally in charge of either all male servants or just all servants, period, in the household of an aristocrat or other very wealthy person. This meant that butlers have often been fairly powerful and influential people, and sometimes even had a manservant or two of their own.

(Also, fun fact: Mary Roberts Rinehart, the early 20th century mystery writer who is widely credited with popularizing the whole ‘the butler did it’ trope was nearly murdered by one of her own servants, a chef whom she had passed over for promotion to butler. He came at her with a pistol, but it jammed, allowing her chauffeur time to wrestle it away and restrain him.)

[mattamizer]

[mattamizer]

Guy on metro had a shitty little dog who spent 20 minutes untying his laces and waiting patiently with his nose 3 millimeters away for them to be re-tied before wreaking havoc again. Over and over. Owner did not care. Dogs name was Quentin.

[mattamizer]

source unknown

[mattamizer]

[mattamizer]

The core appeal of Willy Wonka is that he's a nigh-omnipotent maniac who uses his near limitless powers over reality to trick shitty people into killing themselves. You can't make him the protagonist of a whimsical coming of age tale - you have to treat him like Jason Voorhees, or Dracula, or any other horror icon. Give him some new victims and new interesting kills and set him loose, that's all audiences want.

[mattamizer]

Polyamory life hack

Hook up with your friend. Because she bottoms, she will not have eaten breakfast. She will be quite hungry afterward. To thank you for the good dick, she will take you to Korean Barbecue.

Take your girlfriend on a hike. It will be hot and you will get tired. You will both want protein and cold drinks. Your girlfriend will take you to Korean Barbecue.

Confess to your boyfriend that you ate spicy pork without him. He loves spicy pork. In order to get it, he will take you to Korean Barbecue.

With this simple technique, you can get Korean Barbecue three times!

[mattamizer]

Do I have too many books? No. It is my shelving methods that are inadequate

[mattamizer]

I think the solution to kids on the Internet is to have specific, kid friendly spaces on the Internet. Kids wouldn't come across "adult content" on YouTube if barbie dot com still had flash games and this is a hill I will die on.