matter-of-when

[matter-of-when]

blinks and raises from my coffin. hello. it’s me.

/ooc

[matter-of-when]

i don’t mind..

..

can I talk to you about it, actually..

all my calls for help are being ignored .

what’s the point.

[matter-of-when]

no, not really.

..

everything is too much.

all my calls for help are being ignored .

what’s the point.

[matter-of-when]

all my calls for help are being ignored .

what’s the point.

[matter-of-when]

thinking i might just sleep my problems off, to be honest.

it’s all far too much.

[matter-of-when]

[he hugged back, nodding.]

mkay.. won’t tell anyone. i swear.

thanks, slick.

i regret what i said about replacing you ,, im sorry . im trying to be a better brother , a better person ..

- @matter-of-when

ㅤ⠀

yeah , well. ( .. stars this is embarrassing to talk about. ) how would you feel if some new truck who’s supposed t’ be family came in and immediately started insultin’ ya basically.

( . . . ) i guess we weren’t all that nicer either. so , it’s fine. or whatever. good on you for wanting to be better.

sorry too , i guess.

ㅤ⠀

[matter-of-when]

alright, alright. im .. still sorry .

sorry for saying what i said.. about replacing you n’ all. i got too excited. im trying to be a better person ,, a better brother.

- @matter-of-when

honestly don’t remember you sayin this so dw about it! I forgive you

[matter-of-when]

i got far too cocky ,, and i realise that now . i was just excited, id only ever seen testing facilities and had .. little to no social interaction until then .

sorry , again . youre a great sister . i don’t want you three to hate me anymore .

[he was a bit shaky. he felt so bad about .. everything.]

i regret what i said about replacing you ,, im sorry . im trying to be a better brother , a better person ..

- @matter-of-when

ㅤ⠀

yeah , well. ( .. stars this is embarrassing to talk about. ) how would you feel if some new truck who’s supposed t’ be family came in and immediately started insultin’ ya basically.

( . . . ) i guess we weren’t all that nicer either. so , it’s fine. or whatever. good on you for wanting to be better.

sorry too , i guess.

ㅤ⠀

[matter-of-when]

been dead again. very sorry. keep forgetting tumblr exists

/ ooc

[matter-of-when]

sorry about being DEAD ivr been meaning to come back I just. Kept forgetting. And stuffs been happening

/ooc post

[matter-of-when]

Mhm. I guess it could help.. I’m sorry for dumping everything on you, though. You’ve got problems yourself, surely..

[A quiet sob comes from Hydra.]

I just.. I don’t tend to talk to people about things. I feel stupid reaching out for help. I’m supposed to be this self confident, happy guy who doesn’t give a shit about what others think, but I can’t be that.

I made dinner, d'ya want some?

- @thatsmy-role

yeah. sounds good, thanks P.

sorry for my inactivity. depression hit hard /ooc

[matter-of-when]

NO ITS SO OKAY IM IN SCHOOL TOO //

I’m just tired, Porter. I’m tired of trying to act like I have faith in myself, like I have the belief that I’m the future, that I’m actually going to do shit about the fucking problems on this planet.

Because I won’t. There’s no point in even trying anymore, everything about me is awful. My personality, the fact I’m a danger to be around-

I just can’t do this shit anymore.

OH AND I REBLOGGED THAT ON THE WRONG ACCOUNT SOBS

I made dinner, d'ya want some?

- @thatsmy-role

yeah. sounds good, thanks P.

sorry for my inactivity. depression hit hard /ooc

[matter-of-when]

I’m not trying to be rude or anything. My words come out all wrong, or I use the wrong tone and it upsets people. My brain just does that, and I don’t know why.

.. I hate myself for it. I’ve stopped trying now; because I’m likely just a major fuck-up of a project that’ll probably see the scrapyard before the rest of you. Nobody wants a threat around.

I’m sorry for.. everything, Porter.

[he seems to have started to cry. his voice was shaky, and cracking persistently.]

oughhhh I love makinf my favs cry.. //

I made dinner, d'ya want some?

- @thatsmy-role

yeah. sounds good, thanks P.

sorry for my inactivity. depression hit hard /ooc

[matter-of-when]

I suppose not..

It just sucks here. Nobody seems to give a singular shade of a shit about how I feel. I can remember about four times in the last week I’ve choked up or started crying over something someone’s said to me. Whether that’s something about my personality, the fuel I carry, or the fact that “oh you were made a girl but changed your mind at the last second, that’s weird, you’re weird”. I’ve genuinely started to give up on trying to defend myself. They’ll always win in the end.

They think I’m a threat.. I’m not a threat! I’m a good person, please, see that I’m trying to be a good person-!

I think I deserve this, I think everyone hates me and I deserve it. I’m a major, big-time, asshole.

[he was crying now. he’d not been able to talk about this. to anyone, ever. and now it’s all spewing out and he can’t stop it.]

hi Electra. I think you’re pretty cool. okay that’s it, bye ..

- @ask-hydra

Why, thank you!

You’re Hydra right? The newest freight? Always nice to meet someone else with some care for the environment!

[matter-of-when]

..

I guess so. I.. you weren’t an ass. It was justified. I was being annoying. You had every right to snap back at me.

Hydra sadness arc.. /ooc

I made dinner, d'ya want some?

- @thatsmy-role

yeah. sounds good, thanks P.

sorry for my inactivity. depression hit hard /ooc

[matter-of-when]

it sucks. I hated it. but I also hate it here sometimes, because everyone’s unfamiliar with me, nobody here seems to like me much, and I feel like only three people have faith in me on a GOOD day-

..

My apologies.. I need to calm down. You didn’t ask for me to just.. rant about everything. I’m sorry.

.. they all think I’m a dangerous person, a threat..! I’m not a threat.. I’m a good person, please see that, I’m a good person-!

hi Electra. I think you’re pretty cool. okay that’s it, bye ..

- @ask-hydra

Why, thank you!

You’re Hydra right? The newest freight? Always nice to meet someone else with some care for the environment!

[matter-of-when]

mhm. I’m sorry for being an asshole. It isn’t my intention,, I was a bit excited about it. I just.. I get scared that everyone sees me as this ticking time-bomb that’ll explode if they come near me. That’s not who I am-

I made dinner, d'ya want some?

- @thatsmy-role

yeah. sounds good, thanks P.

sorry for my inactivity. depression hit hard /ooc