matthew621

[matthew621]

You are enough

The never ending thoughts of “will I be enough” visited me again tonight

The familiar feeling of seeking validation to whomever comes to mind

I keep wondering where my confidence went

It all drifted away like it never existed

As I look in the reflection of my own face on my monitor 

A smile slowly fades as I realize that I would never be the same 

The sweet, pure and innocent heart has turn into a jealous, malicious and overthinker heart

Or maybe I can still turn around and reset all that had stained me 

But no, there is no way I can be the same girl that they have loved

There is no way I can be the person I was when I am still full of light and smiles

I am now full of fears, doubts, and broken dreams 

Just a girl wondering where the map went

But in all the chaos running through my mind

A voice hushed me like a soft lullaby 

“Father is that you?” I asked in confusion 

I know in my heart it was Him who have called me

My mind like a busy street turn like a dead night

Slowly calming as I listened to His promises

Oh I figured, maybe it was not my own thoughts all along 

Maybe it was the enemy’s whisper bringing me back to my old dark past 

But all of those are gone, vanish and never to be visited again 

And so, what if I am in my late 20’s still trying to figure out life

What is the matter in completely depending on what my Father will provide?

What is the deal if I still long to start a fresh start at my age?

Why do I worry too much? What is it that makes me hate myself too much?

Is it the way I think, I talk or look, but I was created just the way I am 

Exactly what He planned. 

Life will disappoint, people will disappoint but He never said to look into those things

My Father simply wants me to focus on His plans, focus on His presence, and walk toward Him 

So if I don’t get the old me, who cares.

I am a new creation to Him

I am exactly who He wants me to be and that is what matters most 

So who cares if I get cheated on, or if I don’t get the things that I want? 

Who cares if I get betrayed by someone I truly love or if they think I am not enough

Who cares if the world thinks that the old me is better than the present me

Who cares, well, nobody even I don’t care

For the reality is, I know who I am, and in my Father’s eyes I am exactly what He wants

The never-ending thoughts of “Will I be enough” revisited me tonight

But it didn’t stay long, it vanished like it had never been there. 

I am my Father’s child and I am exactly who I am because He told me so. 

[matthew621]

The Truth Is.

The truth is I still get lonely At times when laughter filled the room A painful echo resonating the words "They are happy when you're not around" The voices that torture knowing none can hear it but me

The truth is I still get envious When the softness of his voice envelops the surroundings only it was not meant to calm me but for another the lingering thoughts that maybe I do not deserve his serene voice

The truth is I still get angry A feeling that I tend to invite when things don't go my way Blood rushing through my head, immobilizing my rational thoughts The feeling of rage that covers the love I have nurtured for quite a while

The truth is I still get impatient The thought of how things seem to favor everybody but me Doubt creeping in as I continue to ask the question when? When will it be my turn?

The truth is I still get insecure For every woman who has embraced the flaws and scars they have Insecurity is creeping in like a beast tearing every piece of acceptance I have within me I ran as I chased the reflection of the person I wished and longed to be

The truth is I still feel jealous When I feel like I am enough, the world drops its bomb on me Whisper and echo of voices telling me "There is someone better than you." The question of how long it will take before the man I love gets stolen by another woman

The truth is I still sin A hypocrisy I tend to embrace every inch of my being questioning the real reason why he chose me That his blood was shed for a person like me who still sin

The truth is I don't know why Why had he saved me from eternal separation and why He had to be the sin that I cannot resist and I don't know why but he still chose to save me

The truth is I am not perfect For even if I was created in the image of God Sin has stained my very being from the beginning and I know it will be a form of pride if I say I was blameless because I am not.

Because I am not near to being righteous And if God's glory comes down to meet me right now I will vanish like I never existed For my very being does not deserve His presence

The truth is I am nothing without Him My life will lose its meaning the world would not make sense and I would have never felt the guilt for every action that does not equate to His kindness

The truth is I am still a work in progress A fire within me awakened that day that you hold me dear save me from the den and embrace me as I weep For I know I had run away home and you have waited for so long

The truth is no one can ever love me like you do The calmness in your voice stopped every storm in my head A love that does not get tired, You are sufficient You are the wind that rocks me as I slowly surrender life's baggage

The truth is I am a sinner clothed with his righteousness A savior crucified on the cross, spotless, blameless, guilty for the sins he didn't commit The lamb of God died and was resurrected He said in his words, "It is finished"

The truth is I would stumble and fall People will throw stones at me as they laugh, dare me to call on the God who changed me They will see me as a failure but He will remain He will remain spotless, pure and perfect He will remain as a shepherd, a carpenter, a perfect sacrifice

The truth is I will still feel this negative feeling Weep as I kneel and ask forgiveness for these things was not meant for me to keep Genuine forgiveness as he ran to pick me up Glued me piece by piece and call me His Friend

The truth is He is enough Enough to stop the madness in my heart, his hands reaching out to me saying "I am all that you need." His perfect timing, his perfect will, enough for darkness to flee in my thoughts Lights engulf my body as I now understand why I had to wait

Why I had to get lonely, for in my loneliness I sought the Lord and found love in His presence Why I had to be envious, for in my envy I had focused my eyes on his warmth, not on man, and followed a path that led to Him

Why I had to feel angry, for in my anger I appreciated what He had done in the cross For His wrath is greater than mine but salvation was his response Why I had to be impatient, for my impatience I understood the value of trust for my every step is built with trusting God

Why I had to feel insecure, for my uncertainty I had found the fullness of my being to the Lord His companionship took me to greater heights

Why I had to be jealous, for God is a jealous God He showed me the intensity of how we tend to disregard him and cling to other things I no longer detest his jealousy, I recognize that I am his possession.

Why I had to sin, for in my transgression I can come boldly to Him and humbly ask for his aid To change me, to mold me, to walk the path he intended me to be

The truth is I am unworthy The world has cursed me, I was born carrying an inheritance of sin But He died to overcome the world, The truth is He is the only way, the only truth, and the only life I can come to the Father because the truth is I have been saved by my Savior Jesus Christ.

[matthew621]

I’m losing my taste in this world

Mark 8:35 “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.”

Dreams, plans, and effort are just some words that we often hear in a motivational speech and though it sounds uplifting to our souls, to some people who have been experiencing the loss of taste in this world, these words are empty, and that it would always lead them back to Jesus.

 These words are just mere selfishness to them, and yes, you can call them extreme or too spiritual but not being in this state doesn’t give you the right to even judge them.

 It’s painful that some people easily judge them and would often say that these people don’t have a dream and that they don’t care about their loved ones as much as those who are working hard to be successful.

 And though you might see it that way, you are wrong. Giving up on your dreams of becoming rich doesn’t mean not caring at all instead it is the most painful sacrifice one could give.

 To them, they wanted to show their loved ones that they care by wanting and craving to also secure a place of eternal life for them, isn’t that the best form of love one can show you?

 The greatest form of love that someone can give you is salvation. Not the material things or some otherworldly things, I am not saying that these things wouldn’t make your loved ones happy but this stuff is just temporary, to be honest, I would rather see my loved ones in heaven than to give them all of the expensive things in this lifetime but forever watch them in damnation.

 I wanted to be able to have them feel, hear, and see what God has shown me in this life and if that means going deeper into my prayer and killing my worldly dreams I would, for the sake of being able to save them and be with them in eternity.

 Losing your taste is hard because people tend to see you as lazy or too dependent on the Lord but losing your taste is one of the most powerful experiences you could ever feel in this lifetime.

 At first, it will be challenging especially if your friends or the people around you don’t understand. It will be a lot of judgment; they will think that you are ungrateful to your parents or siblings or to those people who have tried their best to give you a better life.

 Then they will quote you as a selfish person, they would see you as someone who easily turns their back and is just thinking of himself/herself.  Worst they would start talking about you, saying you are no fun and that you have changed.

But one thing I have learned is, that whatever happens, DO NOT GO BACK! Let the savory taste of the world depart your body. Let the world be tasteless to you and let God take over and give you a new palate. And you will be surprised that you’ll get a new taste of this world. You will want to feed more words and feed your souls. You will crave new food, the food you can never eat in this world.

 It’s weird and surreal at first but once you lost your taste do not be afraid. Do not listen to the world, they will try to make you eat and taste the world again. They will pull you back but if you have decided that you will stay, you will experience an extraordinary peace and comfort that He can only give.

 I would say, out of all the losses I have experienced this is the kind of loss I wanted. Losing the taste of the world is both a blessing and a challenge.

 Challenge as to how committed are you to fight your own taste and how ready are you to be dead in flesh.

A blessing because God is preparing you to be strong, wise, and firm for He is ready to send you out for your real purpose, your battle is just starting.

[matthew621]

“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” Proverb 14:12

I had this conversation with a good friend of mine. I don’t recall how it ended on that topic but her story made me think a lot of things.

This incident took place when she was applying for a job. There is this one applicant who called out other candidates, saying that he could help them pass.  So, my friend asks this guy kung ilang beses na ba siya nag apply and when he answered 4 times her automatic response was to get out of that circle. My friend passed and he saw that same guy in the orientation, so he passed too.

After that incident napaisip siya na baka nga  najudge niya yung taong yun agad-agad. The person might have been genuine in helping others to pass and the fact that he passed means his effort, the lessons he learned from his failures, and experience brought him there.

But think about this for a second, what if he failed and so are the others who listened to him? Who is to blame?

This is the sad reality na hindi lahat ng tao may discernment, gaya nalang ng kaibigan ko. Hindi lahat kayang madiscern kung may mali ba sa sinasabi ng isang tao or even if the intention was pure.  

When we face this type of situation, it’s easy to jump into thinking na “ilang beses ka na nga nag fail so that means you are doing something wrong so bakit kita gagayahin or susundin?” or “Napagdaanan niya na to kaya naman dapat sundan ko ang mga sinasabi niya para maging successful din ako.”

Sa dami daming mga motivational speaker ang hirap na maidentify if sino ba ang pwede nating gayahin or which practices should we follow.

Kaya naman we have to take everything with a little grain of salt. 

Maraming experienced people who fail multiple times often think that it gives them the right to correct other people kasi nga they have more experience than the others. Yung iba naman they would debate over what they think is right and would even belittle you kapag nalaman nila na you are new in the same industry as theirs.

Tayo naman na sumusubok palang, at konti palang ang knowledge would follow them or we would change our beliefs kasi we trust them since they had gone through the journey that we are about to take but that mindset is completely WRONG!

Hindi naman porket napagdaanan na nila ibigsabihin ay tama na sila. Hindi porket nakuha nila yung fame, honor or success ibigsabihin tama na ang ginagawa nila. We still need to weigh if the things they are doing is righteaous in the eyes of the Lord. 

I remember a story about two college students. Graduating silang pareho and both are struggling with their exams. Nung natapos na yung finals, yung isa nakagraduate then yung isa for summer extension pa. Nagkausap sila and he asks his friend what he did to pass because he wanted his parents to be proud of him too, just like how proud his friends’ parents are. Only to find out that his friend cheated on the exam, he told his friend that he could ask for another copy at least pag nag retake he’ll be able to graduate na din.

You see, the moral of the story is that there are things that seem right to us but are wrong. Oo, ginawa niya yun to make his parents proud and para makagraduate but his way was wrong.

Parang white lies, we lie for the sake of others because we feel like it’s our way of protecting them but in reality, it’s still a LIE. And marami pang ibang gaya nito.

Bakit ko to naisip well, kasi it’s very timely and we see and hear a lot of motivational speakers who give us flowering advise, fiery words and awesome ideas and at first kapag pinakinggan mo sila it’s very pleasing to our ears, yung iba nabubuhayan ng loob, yung iba nag sastrive lalo but the question is, TAMA BA?

2 Corinthians 11:13-15 “even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So, it is not strange if his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness”

Kaya naman bago natin gawin yung isang bagay na narinig natin, iconsult muna natin kay Lord, kasi kahit gaano pa kasarap pakinggan ang mga salitang yun kung hindi naman galing kay Lord para padin tayong nainom ng lason.

Lason na eventually papatay sa relationship natin sakanya. And as Chrsitian, we should know better, we should not let other people change who we are, instead let’s pull them closer to God hindi yung tayo yung mahihila papalayo.

We have to keep in mind that we are different from one another so the same experiences and practices might not apply to everyone.

Pwedeng sakanya nagwork pero sayo hindi. Pwedeng nahirapan siya sa business pero ikaw hindi. Pwedeng siya nagging successful sa ganung pamamaraan pero ikaw hindi.

We have different stories. Kaya nga kahit gaano pa kaganda ng libro kapag inincorporate mo yung isang page sa ibang libro, it would not make sense or worst it could ruin the story.. 

Ganun din sa buhay natin kapag sinubukan nating gayahin or lakaran yung same na kwento ng iba, your story might not end well.

Imagine, ang ganda ganda ng plans sayo ni Lord tapos dahil sa isang advise na feeling mo makakabuti sayo or would make you successful ginawa mo din or ginaya mo din siya not knowing that you had lost the straight path God has stored for you.

I believe hindi nagbabago ang pangako ni Lord sa atin, nag iiba nga lang yung path na nalalakaran natin.

God gave us a straight path to follow but because of our stubbornness, we tend to get lost and made the journey harder for ourselves. I think there’s only one-person na kaya nating gayahin or lakaran ang same path na nilakaran niya and that is Jesus Christ.

Following Him would not make us go astray. He’s the only person who I can confidently say that his intention was pure. His love and his heart are pure.  Wala na sigurong may kayang lagpasan yung pagmamahal ni Lord sa atin.

Kaya naman if we are losing hope or need a reason to feel alive again or even be motivated, the best motivational speaker to listen to is God.

Let’s run to him not run to temporary things. Siya muna dapat ang kausapin natin bago tayo pumunta kung kani-kanino. We should pray for discernment too para alam natin kung tama ba or mali yung sinasabi ng ibang tao satin. Or if that person is genuine and true to his words.

We have to be watchful and mindful. Hindi lahat ng maganda o masaya ay kalugod lugod kay Lord. Though God promises us a fruitful life that should be the least of our priorities. Listen to God’s voice for there you would find the greatest advice no one in this world can give.

Job 36:22 “Behold, God exalteth by his power: who teacheth like him?”

[matthew621]

No to the world, Yes to God

I pray that soon I will have the courage to say NO to the world

To say NO to pleasing people and YES to sharing the gospel

To say NO to checking self-worth and YES to sharing love with everyone who needs it

To say NO to doing things that will not make me look like a killjoy and YES to bringing joy everywhere I go.

To say NO to doing whatever I can to achieve my goals and YES to surrendering it to the Lord

 I pray that soon I will have the courage to say NO for God’s sake

To say NO to worrying about my future and YES to enjoying today’s blessing

To say NO to being mad when things go wrong and YES to looking at the brighter side.

To say NO to fighting my battle alone and YES to giving it to Lord and fighting my battle with Him.

To say NO to fear about what others might think and YES to being bold in sharing God with everyone. 

 Romans 12:21 says, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

 This world is just temporary don't let it take control of your life.

People will disappoint you same as the world. 

One thing that I am confident about is that God never fails.

It is not bad to have plans but don’t let that plans and goals pull you away from the plans that God has prepared for you. 

 The enemy’s ultimate plan is to obliterate you but Jesus says, “… I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

 Fight for your faith! God is not done yet with your life. 

[matthew621]

Had enough!

Had to let this out!

I honestly feel uncomfortable seeing some post about this couple breaking up and people putting captions saying “This break up just proves that even if Jesus is the center of your relationship, kapag gusto manloko, manloloko.” I don’t know them personally but as someone who follows Christ, it pains me to see people dragging Jesus’ name on this issue. I want to address some comments, I’ve seen so far;

One, when you say God is the center of your relationship you don’t expect it to be perfect, it doesn’t mean that you are an exemption to temptation or trials kasi we are humans and whatever we do we will not be as holy as God or even close to Jesus, so saying things like, “kahit si God pa ang center ng relationship niyo mag fafail padin yan pag ginusto ng partner mo,” it doesn’t make sense at all.  I wouldn’t say this argument is all wrong because at some point totoo naman na at the end of the day kayong mag partner padin ang mag wowork out ng relationship niyo, that’s how FREEWILL works BUT the reason why it is encouraged na maging center si God sa kahit anong type ng relationship is because we need guidance from Him. Mas better actually na may personal relationship kayo with Him kasi He is the only one who can guide you on the right path. The bible says; “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Second, I know marami ang tataas ang kilay kapag sinabi ko na they should have talked it over or they should have tried working things out, kasi sa ngayong panahon ang dali dali nalang isiping maghiwalay or to end your marriage if things get messy. Before ending things, I think you have to remember the vow you made, not just to each other but to God. You made a VOW! A SACRED VOW in front of Him and now it is so easy for you to just end things?

Kaya marriage is something you really have to think about, hindi yan yung security mo na hindi ka lolokohin ng asawa mo, hindi din yan ticket para tratuhin mo yung asawa mo ng kung anong gusto mo.  

In marriage, you two need to be mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually close.  I know people will say, “wala ka kasi sa sitwasyon niya.” But if God is truly the center of your relationship, then you should have prayed for that person.

Imbis matakot ka na magaya ka sa relationship nila or bago ka magsabi na “kahit pala may relationship kay God, pwede pading manloko.” Start praying for the right person na ibibigay sayo ni Lord, imbis mag worry ka na magloko sayo ang partner mo, start praying for Him and for your relationship, let God protect and give you peace of mind, wag yung jump agad tayo na lahat manloloko and kung ano anu pa. Ask yourself too, am I praying for this relationship, am I letting God manage my relationship, or are you doing things your way?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that the woman did not pray for her husband she surely did but I am just saying that when you say God is the center of your relationship, then you must know that you didn’t just marry the guy, you married the guy, all his flaws and all of the mistakes he has done and will do and also that means fully surrendering to God’s plan even if it breaks you. You don’t just throw away relationship lalo na kapag nangako ka kay Lord, you don’t just end things dahil that person did some bad things kasi sa totoo lang walang perpektong tao, walang banal na tao dahil lahat tayo makasalanan. So, blaming only one person is hypocrisy, oo nag cheat yung guy, or naging unfaithful siya sa wife niya, pero tanong ko lang can the wife fully say that she loved him purely and that she didn’t do anything wrong in the span of their relationship? I doubt that! She might have done something too, nagkataon lang na malala ung ginawa nung guy. I am not invalidating her pain and her decision. Kung yun ang gusto niya and if that’s what will make her forgive him then let it be. I’m not siding on anybody, I’m fighting for Christ, na hindi na dapat idrag ang pangalan niya, stop putting captions like “Nakakatakot na magmahal kasi eto nga hiniling pa kay Lord naghiwalay pa.” kasi that doesn’t make you sound cool or faithful. Or even generalizing all of us who openly show our faith on social media, saying red flags and stuff, hindi niyo kinabait ang pagsasabi niyan dahil just like the bible said in Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard.” Hindi po kami banal, we don't claim that we are clean we know that we are sinners and cheating is not justifiable at this point. I wanted to end this with the word “STOP” as in just STOP dragging someone's faith just to justify/highlight the mistakes other people made. You have no right to question someone’s relationship with God ng dahil lang may isang tao na nagkamali, you have no right to say that all relationship is bound to fail kahit pa si Lord ang center nila. YOU DON’T KNOW THAT! Not all stories are the same. If you genuinely want to help the person move on, start praying for her, for their relationship, kasi getting mad and bashing the guy wouldn’t make the pain go away. Praying for her would. God bless everyone!

[matthew621]

It’s always the “IKAW KASI” but never the “AKO KASI”

Often when we found ourselves in a difficult situation, we tend to blame others or di naman kaya kapag nagkakaroon tayo ng misunderstanding with someone we often highlight what they did to you and when confrontation came, the first response we always say is “Ikaw Kasi” 

 Don’t get me wrong I am not saying that I am not like this in fact I am guilty. I have said these words oftentimes. I have said those words to my parents, “Ikaw kasi ma eh, lagi mo nalang akong pinepressure.” Towards my sisters, “Ikaw kasi ate, di niyo man lang sinabi sakin.” Even to my peers, “Ikaw kasi eh, you would always make me feel left out” and most specially kay Lord, “Ikaw kasi Lord eh, hinayaan mo lang akong gawin yun.” Those are the common complaints I would utter and I bet some of us say this too. 

 There’s nothing wrong with voicing out what you feel at that time and I think it’s not a bad thing to tell someone how you feel about them, but can you remember the last time you have ever said “Ako kasi” during an argument? Have you ever highlighted the mistakes you did toward that person?

 For example, when you and your parents would fight over your grades have you had the time when you said, “Ako kasi ma, medyo naging kampante ako na kaya ko and may mga times na tinatamad ako mag aral kaya bumaba grades ko.” O di naman kaya kapag nag aaway kayo ng mga kapatid mo, “Ako kasi ate/kuya, may kasalanan din kasi nag init ulo ko, nainis ako kaya sinagot kita kaya tayo nag away.” Or an instance where you genuinely feel that you have done wrong and you feel responsible in telling that person that you also did something that might have resulted the fight and admit your faults, “Ako kasi yung mali.” Have you ever had that time in your life? 

 You see, it’s always been that way and when I started being a Christian, I didn’t see anything wrong with that, I actually felt like it’s the way to a healthy relationship, na okay lang sabihin yung mali nung tao para matuto siya but as time goes by, I have come into a realization na ang gaan din pala sa feeling na nakikita mo unti unti yung mga pag kukulang mo not just as a daughter or a son, not just a sister or brother, or a friend but a person overall. Siguro nga tama yung sinasabi nila na mas matapang ang taong nakikita ang sarili niyang kamalian or wekness ‘cause not everyone can do that. 

 2 Corinthians 12:10 “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

 So to my fellow Christian and everyone, I think it’s time for us to check ourselves, every time we came into a fight before even uttering the words, “ikaw kasi” and so on. Stop and check what has caused the arguments and when you know that you have contributed something to that fight then learn how to say “Ako kasi.” It’s going to be hard at first but it will be surprising for the other party. Magugulat ka nalang the other person will also start opening up his faults and instead of hate towards each other you’ll find peace. Maiisip mo how powerful those words are and that no one is an exemption from making mistakes. 

 Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

 By practicing this you’ll come into a stage in your life na hindi nalang ikaw yung laging tama, you’ll come into a realization na minsan we are too blinded with anger na nakakalimutan natin how good that person is. Kaya naman let’s stop pointing fingers and be mature enough to admit that at some point you did something too that has escalated things. 

 Proverbs 28:13 “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.”

[matthew621]

Let your “buti pa siya” be “buti nalang andyan si Lord”

Let your “buti pa siya” be “buti nalang andyan si Lord”

We have a lot of buti pa siya moment,

“Buti pa siya, At their age, they had everything figured out”

“Buti pa siya, contented na with their life.”

“Buti pa siya graduate na” and so on.

Pero teka lang, naisip mo na ba sa sarili mo na kahit minsan meron din nagsasabi sayo na “buti pa siya, ganyan?”

Because of this type of mindset, we are starting to invalidate the small victories that we have won in our life.

We are forgetting the tough road that we have to cross just to be where we are right now. The nights we cried and kneel, praying to God.

At dahil lang sa kakatingin natin sa mga achievements ng iba, you are taking things for granted and now you see yourself as less important than those people. But it should not be the case!

Bakit hind mo subukang ayusin ang mga mata mo and look at the bigger picture, why won’t you look at yourself in the mirror and try to remember the sacrifices and hardships you are doing just to achieve those dreams. Kaya naman instead of looking into others' triumphs take your time to appreciate what you have right now and by then you’ll be surprised that you are not as unfortunate as you think you are, that a lot of people would want to have the life you have right now.  

Why don’t we take our time and appreciate the little things that we have recently achieved in our lives?

Being financially stable is an achievement and so thus having a stable job, having a big house gives a wonderful feeling, same as having a small house and a healthy family. Being able to travel is a fulfillment, and so is being able to treat yourself with coffee. The real definition of success depends on how people view it, to some, it is their possession, while others define success as raising a well-mannered child. While some define success as being able to live a peaceful life. If only we are able to see our lives from a stranger's perspective we will be surprised as to how blessed we are.

Kaya naman instead of sulking into things you don't have and saying “Buti pa siya” let’s be grateful for what God has given us and spare a minute to look up and say “Buti nalang andyan ka Lord” and you’ll come into a realization that whatever you have right now whether big or small is something to be grateful for.

Every success in your life is worth celebrating.

Remember that at the right time, God will provide for your need. God’s timing isn’t our timing. He knows when is the perfect time for you and He definitely knows his plans for you. He is the greatest architect and I believe He knows the perfect time when to build those dreams.  

Kaya naman chill ka lang, tigil muna sa pag hahanap ng mga bagay na wala sayo, instead be thankful in what you have and what was given to you. Let God mold us into a better version of ourselves and peeking and envying others wouldn’t make you the person you want to be. Tama na ang kaka "SANA ALL."

Let’s start appreciating every drop of rain that comes in our way and if somehow it turns into a storm and tests our faith and strength, let’s sail with God and trust in Him, in the end, when the time is right we will eventually see the rainbow in the sky.  

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." - Philippians 4:6

[matthew621]

“I still see myself less”

Picture a perfect moment in your head, you are peacefully doing what you love as the cold breeze freely caresses you. You are sitting comfortably on your bed while sipping on your coffee. You are successful and life has been easy on you. You couldn’t ask for more and you got the dream you always wanted. A life most of us wanted.

At the age of 26, I thought I will be having this type of life, living in my dream house driving an expensive car, having a perfect job, and having a happy family. But just like any adult woman out there, I’m as confused as you are.  Maybe, if my 18 years old self could only see me, she would question a lot of things or would cry seeing what I become today. Most of us might have thought the same and would have asked the same question as I have, which is “where did I go wrong?” or “In which part of my life did I make a mistake?”

If only I could see this coming, I might have chosen a different path but there’s no such thing as a time machine, and even if there is, we don’t have any guarantee that changing our past would make our future any better.

It’s funny how I end up in this situation, on writing again and trying to be honest with what I feel and letting other people know what’s going on in my mind. I was browsing through my social media when I came across an interesting blog. It was professionally written and the words used were delicate. Then I decided to open my Tumblr and read my old blog and started to realize that I used to be creative.

A question pops in my head, what happened? And it went on and on and on.

 I know I am like any other person; I have my regrets and frustration. I have done things in the past that I wish I didn’t do, choices that keep on haunting me wondering if the outcome would end differently if I choose the other option. Despite all those, why’s, what’s, and how in my head, I kept going. I kept believing that there is a finish line and that God had something stored for me.

“'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. '” says, Jeremiah 29:11

 I remember a time when an old friend of mine told me “Uy nagbago ka na” (You have changed), that she thinks being a Christian has transformed me, I smiled and started sharing what God has done in my life this past couple of years and I was happy that I was able to inspire them to seek God. I sleep peacefully that day without any worries in my head, I was delighted and I was contented. A couple of days passed and sudden guilt comes to my mind, and my head was full of the words “HYPOCRITE”

I asked myself could I proudly say that I am a 100%, changed person? NO.

 The truth is if only they know how many times I have cried asking God why He has brought me into this phase in my life, if only they knew how many times I have questioned his love for me, if only they knew how many times I have cried in my room and ask Him why life has been so tough to me, If only they knew how many times have I gone mad to Him and if only they knew that despite my relationship with Him, there are still times that I would regret my decision and blame Him for what happened to my life. Whenever I come to my senses, God would always rebuke me and in my devotion, I would often end up to Matthew 8:26, “But He said to them, “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.”

The truth is I have a lot of sentiments in life, I have a lot of questions, and regrets and I would still say “Sana all” or would dream about having a big house or a perfect life here on earth, and those thoughts of anger, doubt and fear still linger in me. That I would still cry over little things and that I am not near being righteous. And up until now, I am still figuring out what to do with my life and how to fully submit to God’s will. In all honesty, if someone would ask me a question, “what if God would allow things to be taken away from you right now, what will you do?” I might stay silent or maybe that question would keep me up all night for a few weeks because the reality is I am not in that phase yet, I am not near that phase of being someone who can see a bigger picture. I still overthink and I know that I am still a work in progress.

 That being a Christian didn’t give me power, that being Christian doesn’t mean I am perfect or that I don’t get mad, it doesn’t mean I am always at peace because if you could only get into my head, I bet, you’ll get lost too. That being a Christian didn’t give me special talents, but being a Christian for sure is a privilege. A privilege because God has called you and He has given you a chance to answer the call, a privilege to know him more and to cry in His presence.  I would not romanticize my Christian life or being a Christian overall. It doesn’t mean having a closer relationship with God exempts you from all of the trials and tribulations, it doesn’t mean that you are not vulnerable and it doesn’t mean having a perfect life either. Being Christian doesn’t always mean having an easy life maybe having God in our life just gave us reasons to continue and to find new ways to look at our problems differently.

 But the greatest realization I have right now is that, I will always have those thoughts and that my life will never be as easy as I imagine it, I would still feel left out and would still say “Bahala Na.”

That whatever I do despite my effort if I don’t ask God to fight beside me or without God’s grace, I would end up crying in my room and would say “Palpak Na Naman!”

Kaya naman, what I can do right now is accept the fact that without God I cannot attain peace on my own. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me”

 “May mas gaganda sayo, may mas yayaman sayo, may mas sesexy sayo, may mas tatalino sayo.” I shared that in a group of teens on the last youth fellowship I attended in our church and this was supposed to be an eye-opener to them not to be envious or jealous of what they see on social media and yet I think I was saying that to myself all along, that God meant it for me. It’s a reminder that whatever greatness you do in this world there is going to be better than you and that it is a never-ending cycle.

  I know that in the end, I would still stumble and fail, I know that I would still have shortcomings and that I would still have a time in my life wherein I would see my life as a failure. I would still regret the things I could have done but even with those thoughts at least I know where and whom to run to.

I am not perfect, never will be, I will still see myself less yet I have a God that loves me unconditionally.

 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”-Isaiah 43:2