mattwank

[mattwank]

shit overheard in my art class aka loser comedy club today:

"I spread the gospel, the truth. it's the word of god."

"I didn't go to catholic school for nothing!"

*wiggles around paintbrush* "I'LL PUT SOMETHING ON YOU! I'll throw it with accuracy so it hits you right in the [inaudible]"

"why you obsessed with him?" "just don't like him"

"just turn me into something else! I've changed directions" "to what?" "you'll find out."

"I'm gonna dash" "from the ocean?"

(about a dolphin) "why is it red?" "CAUSE IT IS! IT'S GLOBAL WARMING!"

"you should be a squatter" erm

"you love me, right?" "yeah" "okay I just needed the reassurance"

"STOP FARTING!!!"

*someone slurps 7 times and burps*

"I think this is art?"

"that's animal cruelty!" "it's actually, uh" "ANIMAL CRUELTY!" "those are your words not mine. its activism."

"shut up" "im sorry" "I've had enough" "okay"

"DON'T touch my juice!"

"do you floss?"

"you've ruined it..." "I've improved it."

"how's the ocean going?" "*huge fucking sigh*"

"is it a fish?" "it's a dolphin" "is it dead?"

"use your brain for one second"

*sounds of an easel being aggressively shaken*

[mattwank]

I think being a shapeshifter would fix me

[mattwank]

you just removed a council axe, from a council van. put it back. no, don't, wait! go back to the van, that's my van! give me the axe! wait, no! NO! you, stop! you just took a council axe, from a council van, and now you're digging up a council road! IM REPORTING YOU TO THE COUNCIL!

[mattwank]

Are people deadass not depressed like what does that even feel like

[mattwank]

how it be

Russ Berrie Pixie Town Flocked Frog Riding A Yellow Scooter

[mattwank]

business casual jorts

[mattwank]

I just crushed my balls