mbtisecrets

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I need a man like this

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How has nobody settled for me yet I’m a solid 3

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Sleep is overrated anyway

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I have no clue why I thought this had to exist, but now I’m glad it does.

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when you’re an INTP or ISTP and your friend comes to you with their emotions, wanting to be consoled

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MBTI types as weeb stuff

ENFJ: Having a waifu

ENFP: Eating Pocky

ENTJ: Attempting to move to Japan

ENTP: Playing anime openings at parties

ESFJ: Cosplay

ESFP: Anime cons

ESTJ: Getting absurdly angry at people who call anime "Chinese cartoons"

ESTP: Inserting random Japanese words into conversation

INFJ: Cat/rabbit ears

INFP: Anime body pillows

INTJ: Covering their room in anime posters

INTP: Collecting figurines

ISFJ: Using Japanese honorifics

ISFP: Being an idiot in general

ISTJ: Pencil cases/bags/binders imported from Japan

ISTP: Hentai

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Person: There are 2 types of people..

Me: THERE'S ACTUALLY 16

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Fit all intuitives with GPS trackers 2k18

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When you’ve been happily married for 40 years but a 15 year old on tumblr claims your Myers Briggs types are incompatible

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Mbti Types as Millennials You’ll Meet

Disclaimer: this post is purely for amusement & LOLs ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ 

ISTJ: TRADITIONALIST  - has a fetish for Mon-Fri 9 to 5 jobs + benefits  - traditional AF  - this species is v endangered, please donate  - has had the same goals and dreams since they were a fetus  - productive member of society™ 

 ESTJ: YUPPIE - working 27/9 on multiple projects, multiple jobs & multiple underlings to command - getting more stuff done than you’ll ever do in your lifetime - somehow has a neater desk than you but knows how to party it up when they’re finally off hours - fav type of party is a networking party - actually has time and money to Netflix 

 INTJ: COLLECTORS - is on all the social medias but almost never posts - knows all the tings but never really says it - v secretive  - will low-key become a billionaire overnight for starting a very important company that no one has heard of 

 ENTJ: YOUR BOSS - is the only person who actually knows what they’re doing - started taking on leadership roles since birth (re: shoved the doctor out of the way to cut their own umbilical cord) - shows love via loud criticism – is only trying to help you help yourself - so DONEEE with incompetence 

 ISFJ: MILLENNIAL MOM - shares so many Facebook posts that fb definitely knows who they voted for/where they shop at/intimate details even they don’t know - actually writes Amazon reviews (thank you) - replies to all messages from fam within 30 seconds - attends annual mom convention just to maintain their status (Level 10 Mom Friend™) 

 ESFJ: FOODIES - has multiple social platforms to display their culinary skills (STATUS: black belt) - charming AF but WILL throw shade if provoked - hair is goals - listed on Huffington Post as top 21 Pinterest users to follow 

 INTP: THE FUTURE™ - obsessed with the possibilities of the future - topics all INTPs are pre-programmed to get excited about: AI, start-ups, technology, STEM jokes - may combust when stupid arguments are portrayed as facts - procrastination level: over 9000 

 ENTP: BROGRAMMERS - speaks a foreign language invented by them - beer parties & philosophical debates are always lit - pretty WOKE actually - Nerd™ 

 INFJ: MODERN HIPSTER - had first quarter life crisis at 15 - your official therapist - writes self-love/compassion/know-yourself/nostalgia posts for a website - stares through a window from time to time looking contemplative 

 ENFJ: GRASSROOTS CHAMPION - actually has their life together despite repeat quarter life crises - persuasive AF - “I do what I want, I don’t need your validation … but also I consider how it affects everyone around me and how I’ll be perceived” - won Volunteer of the Year award every year for the last 5 years; got promoted to presenting the Volunteer of the Year award instead 

 ENFP: EXUBERANTS - lives off of the Likes of friends and random Internet strangers - needs social validation through an IV drip - will most likely die of FOMO - life motto: pics or it didn’t happen - golden retriever but looks like a person (cute either way) 

 INFP: UNDEREMPLOYED - Feelings™ - overqualified for all the jobs but doesn’t know what jobs they actually care enough to apply for - posts are always either WOKE AF or self-deprecating - hopes and dreams are on life support 

 ESTP: WANDERLUST™ - bucket-list longer than Santa’s list - only has semi-naked pics on Tinder - knows the most important words in every language (i.e. “what’s your phone number”) - no honey, don’t call them; yes, they’re definitely seeing other people 

 ISTP: SHUT OUTs - self-employed - will low-key land a steady 6 figure job for being in the right place at the right time  - moonlights as a hand model - credit card ebills show 20% of income spent on Redbull/coffee 

 ESFP: YOUTUBE VLOGGER - EXTRA AF™ - somehow amassed a HUGE following from weekly 10 minute videos about their day - will fake their death if no one is paying attention to them - actually really savage - sparkly 

 ISFP: PROFESSIONAL SELFIES TAKER - living embodiment of the word “aesthetic” - hair/style/make-up/art is goals - snapchat game is on point - etsy is only their side hussle - flower crowns filters 

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Types as People I'm Staring at in the Airport

INFJ- The guy with both headphones in, staring vacantly out the window and leaning on his suitcase like a wistful farm boy dreaming of a better life.

ESFJ- The harassed, apologetic airline agent who keeps scurrying around like a chagrined shih-tzu, grimacing and expressing his regrets that everyone’s flights are canceled.

ESTP- The couple who still look happy, probably because they’re at the front of the line. They won’t stop smiling, laughing, and hugging awkwardly.

INTP- The confused couple who just want to check in to their flight but keep getting back in line because they’re confused. They’re gesturing to signs and muttering, totally unaware.

ESFP- The one little kid who keeps running in circles and touching things like the world is still a fascinating place, no matter how long he has to wait to get on a plane.

ISFP- The pissed off looking college student with her arms folded, glowering at the back of the guy in front of her with narrowed, bloodshot eyes.

ENFJ- The guy hauling three huge bags behind him who looks like he’s carrying the luggage for his entire family, plus a few neighbors and their kids.

ENFP- That one woman who seems utterly unfazed by it all, gesturing wildly to her traveling companion (or maybe it’s a new friend she met in line), hair bouncing and always smiling.

INTJ- The other poor college student, chewing his lip nervously and constantly twitching, clearly with somewhere to be. I don’t think he’ll make it on time.

ISTP- The desperate nihilist, head buried in his hands, neck withdrawn into his checkered shirt, rocking back and forth in what might be fervent prayers, fervent sobs, or a fervent techno beat.

ENTJ- The woman who’s on top of shit and calling her airline to arrange another flight, while she’s in line. She’s traveling light and unfazed by havoc.

ESTJ- The cool, collected woman writing neatly in a journal in elegant, looping handwriting, studiously avoiding eye contact with her fellow passengers.

ENTP- The optimistic child with unwonted enthusiasm who keeps chanting “Go United!” like he’s at a soccer game and jumping up and down like a football cheerleader.

ISFJ- The two strangers who have met each other in line and seem to be exchanging life stories, she animatedly and eagerly and he with weary trepidation.

INFP- The twin babies, one of whom is wailing in alternate pleasure and terror, the other of whom is staring around with wide, shocked eyes, previously unaware of humanity’s vast variety.

ISTJ- My mom, who has her head buried in her hands and a tight frown on her lips, resting just on the verge of hysteria and held back only by taking deep, calming breaths.

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When you take the Myers-Briggs test and find out you’re an NT

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idk why I made this

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roses are red

rainclouds are gray

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How to get an INTP to hate you

Patronize them.