meadoww-xx

[meadoww-xx]

you think you’re faking this? ok. prove it.

delete tumblr. delete myfitnesspal. delete any and all calorie tracking apps. go into your kitchen. right now. get up and walk into your kitchen. now make a pot of pasta or spaghetti. or make a salad with chicken or a smoothie. or make a few eggs with some potatoes. or heat up the leftovers in the fridge. don’t count it. don’t measure it. don’t look up the calories. then sit down and eat the whole thing. don’t cut it up small, don’t wait until a certain time, don’t stare at it for forever before you eat it. cook it, put it on a plate, and eat it. maybe scroll through instagram or watch a tv show while you eat. like a post on your explore page about loving pizza without thinking of the calories or feeling fat. when you’re done eating, don’t go to the mirror, don’t go to the scale, don’t go to the toilet to throw up. then go on with your life without thinking about what you just ate or when you’ll eat next. now do that every time you first feel hungry every single day for the rest of your life.

if you can do that, fine. i’ll believe you. you’re “faking it”.

but if even one step of that sounds like your own personal hell, shut up because you’re absolutely not fake and your problems are beyond valid and you deserve to recover right now right where you are.

[meadoww-xx]

[meadoww-xx]

I’d like to do a PSA about laxatives: do not abuse them, I am being so fucking serious. When I was 21 and barely eating and abusing laxatives I ended up 1) having a stroke, yes, a literal stroke 2) my digestive system stopped working completely 3) I didn’t 💩 FOR THREE ENTIRE MONTHS. Yes. 3 fucking months

I almost needed emergency surgery and my bowels and stomach have never worked the same since. I’m in constant agony with stomach cramps and distress and I can only eat certain things (this on top of the fuckin stomach disease I already had)

DO NOT ABUSE LAXATIVES! You will regret it later when your digestive tract stalls and you live a medical nightmare for the rest of your life

Eat in a calorie deficit and exercise, please be so wary of laxatives. I’m so serious guys, I never want anyone to end up like I did it was terrifying and so so so painful

I love you guys please be so safe❤️

[meadoww-xx]

She has got me in a chokehold

[meadoww-xx]

how to never be hungry again no borax no glue

[meadoww-xx]

oh to have such skinny legs.

[meadoww-xx]

Put out the energy that you want, your thoughts control your reality.

[meadoww-xx]

legs/tights th!n$po

[meadoww-xx]

No I dont have an ed, yes i bodycheck all the time, yes i restrict, yes i fast, yes i hate the feeling of food in my stomach, yes i feel the fat, yes i check the bmi of my gws even tho i already know it, yes i check the calories of stuff that arent even food, yes i think that if i smell or touch food the cals will seep into my body, yes I used laxatives, yes i made myself throw up, yes i sometimes do 20k-30k steps a day on purpose, yes I am afraid yet impatient of weighing myself next day, yes my body disgust me and i blame hating myself on being fat, yes I think all my problems will be solved when ill lose the weight, yes I isolate to focus on wl, yes I cried bc I had to eat, yet I also ate the whole fucking house in one sitting, yes I fake dirty plate or throw food to make it seem like I ate, yes I am mad when my parents tell me i need to eat cus i didnt eat today, yes I despise the "what did u eat today" question, yes I say no to any snacks my friends offer me, yes I omad, yes I have had these behavior for a couple of years, yes my parents tell me "You're gonna get obese if you don't pay attention to your weight" or makes comments on my body, yes im on edtwt, yes im on edblr BUT I DONT HAVE AN ED because I must fake it cus idk it just doesnt feel like I have one

[meadoww-xx]

Uma das coisas q eu acho mais sexy em mulheres, são aqueles ossos marcados do pescoço sabe? Eu acho aquilo o auge da delicadeza, e ainda mostra o quão magra vc é

[meadoww-xx]

it’s a small mercy, truly, that anorexia strips you of your consciousness. the romanticized brainfog sets in and you can’t think about much of anything. without it the walk to death would be scary. now it’s like a long car ride with you in the backseat, waiting to be lifted out at your destination and tucked into bed. you don’t have to do anything. just wait.

[meadoww-xx]

what helps me to avoid eating:

- brushing teeth

- smoking a joint (not recommended, you can get addicted - in the beginning it will increase hunger)

- painting my nails

- doing the dishes

- cleaning my apartment

- watching youtube or shows and movies related to eating disorders (if u want to, i can make a list <3)

- sleep! especially when night cravings are hitting, you'll feel so proud the next day

- writing

- browsing through edblr or edtwt

- paint a picture with acryls (even if they're not good, it's fun)

- showering

- taking pictures of my body

- lipgloss

- drink water till i'm full

- do yoga (i hate sport, i'm more of a sit and ⭐️ve kinda girl)

- go online shopping withot actually buying stuff

i can't think of any more at the moment, tell me if you want a pt.2 <3

[meadoww-xx]

Why is it that mukbangs seem to work universally for people with eds to stop them from having cravings, but they have the complete OPPOSITE effects on normal people??? What is is about our brain chemistry that does this???

[meadoww-xx]

some of my fav tr!ggering things to watch <3

[meadoww-xx]

[meadoww-xx]

"Flavour won't last forever, but something else will"

[meadoww-xx]

Oh, to be sk1nny as nana characters