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Why is it on Tumblr Mobile™ you can close the app and open it 3 days later and still be on the same spot of your dash, but then other times you switch out of the app to respond to a text, and when you immediately come back, it’s gone, your family is gone, your house is gone, your dignity is gone.

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Mechanical pencil discourse:

These are the good ones

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watchmojo: That moment when you meet the Watchmojo lady 😱

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broken tornado siren

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Power move of the century.

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Every once in a while I think “why do I have all these mental disorders, surely my childhood wasn’t that bad” and then I have an interaction with my mother and I understand.

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At your military wife’s house washing my hair with your sons calming bedtime baby shampoo

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the two images that caused the apocalypse

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Just overheard two teenaged boys at the front door of their friend’s house. One was on the phone and gently said, “Oh, did you just wake up?” And the other one yelled “OPEN UP, FUCKNUGGET!” while slamming his hand on the door. I gotta say I love the friendship dynamic

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phineas and ferb quarantine episode where candace is convinced that this time her mom will see what the boys are doing because nobody can even leave the house but somehow linda is always in the wrong room

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Another thing I love in fiction is when dialogue immediately echoes the same phrasing used in the narration. It can be startling and funny.

Ex.:

As they made their way back to the car, Farad felt the prickle of eyes upon him. He looked around and spotted the culprits—perched on the roof of a van, a gaggle of dour-faced teenagers was watching them judgmentally.

“Don’t look now,” he whispered to his companion, “But a gaggle of dour-faced teenagers is watching us judgementally.”

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A representation of my thought process at all times

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what the fuck is among us just play danganronpa like a normal person

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