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THE EFFECT OF PARENTING STYLES ON THE OVERALL DEVELOPMENT OF THE CHILD

By Meghna Gupta

It has long been debated whether it is the nature or nurture that shapes us into the people we are, that shapes our personalities, attitudes and behaviours. Recent studies reveal that we may attribute equal influence to the two in the making of the individuals we are today and hence, it is very important to understand our biology and genetics but it is equally important to understand the environment a person is raised in and is a part of.

The experiences we go through in our early childhood, middle childhood and adolescence shape us into the individuals we are as adults and parents are a very strong environmental influence on children. Earlier, it was presumed that parenting comes to parents naturally but the notion has changed over time. Today, the parents understand that they don’t always know how to best raise their children; they don’t always know all the answers and that they need to change their styles of parenting in relation to the changing times, the changing society and culture.

Parenting Styles may be conceptualised as the standard strategies used by parents in raising their child. It is basically a psychological construct and represents the way parents make demands on and respond to their child or children. Baumrind is credited with the vast work on parenting styles and she conceptualised it as variations that are ‘normal’ in the attempts of parents to socialize and control their wards. Two important things are indicated here: these styles don’t include parenting that is deviant such as that observed in neglectful and abusive households and that this parenting which is considered to be normal revolves around control issues. Based on the dimensions of responsiveness (how a parent respond to his or her child’s needs) and control (how a parent exerts demands on his or her child), four types of parenting styles are widely known:

Authoritarian Parenting- It is characterised by low responsiveness or acceptance and high control. The parents that follow this approach of parenting believe that the rules should be followed by children without question and no exception should be made. They don’t allow their children to indulge in problem-solving or in making decisions. They often use punishment for discipline. Children growing up with parents who are authoritarian and strict are obedient but at a high risk of developing esteem issues, they may show hostility, aggressiveness and to avoid punishment, they may grow up to be good liars.

Authoritative Parenting- This is considered to be the best style of parenting characterised by moderate control and acceptance. Psychological autonomy, open communication, acceptance and trust are encouraged. Children brought up in this style tend to have high levels of success and happiness. They grow up to be good at making decisions and evaluation of risks.

Permissive Parenting- The parents who adopt this style are non-demanding and show high levels of acceptance. They are very lenient and are more like friends to their children but they lack control and do not often try hard to discourage bad behaviour or poor choices their children make. As a result, children often grow up to be impulsive, rebellious and self-centred.

Uninvolved Parenting- This style of parenting is considered to be the worst and is very detrimental to the child. These parents neither exert control nor are responsive. They fail to interact with the child and guide or supervise him or her. Children are expected to raise themselves on their own. Children brought up by uninvolved parents often perform poorly in academics, are unhappy and may grow up to be antisocial.

Hence, parenting styles significantly affect the overall development of the child. They may also have lasting effects in the sense that the experiences they have as children may integrate into and affect their personalities as adults. To date, authoritative style of parenting is believed to be the best for the child. It is believed to have many positive effects on the child in terms of his or her self-esteem, success (academic or otherwise) and happiness. But the human behaviour is complex and it is very possible that a style which works the best for one child may not work at all for another or may even result in negative consequences. This is due to the reason that the cultural and ethnic differences among different families and societies play a crucial role in determining a parenting style and its effectiveness. For instance, a few studies have revealed that the authoritative style of parenting does not always result in the best academic achievement for children from various socioeconomic and diverse ethnic groups. Another important factor is the child’s temperament. For example, in case of dealing with ‘difficult’ children, parents may have to change their style of parenting to authoritarian.

Also, it is not the case that a parent fits completely into one parenting style and mothers and fathers may differ in their styles of parenting as well. Parents often employ an array of different parental practices depending on the circumstances the child and the parent are in. One important thing to remember is that the parents should be careful in choosing which style to deploy with the thought that it should result in a secure attachment and a positive relationship between the two.

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