melakas-finalproject

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As I am researching into my own intrigue for the manic pixie dream girl, it makes me think of why I liked a certain episode of the last season of SKins.

The episodes about Cassie was about her finding out she was the muse of a secret photographer who began taking beautiful photographs without her permission or knowledge.

Cassie could be described as a Manic Pixie dream girl as aesthetically and mentally she could fit into this box.

These are the photos that were taken without her permission by the secret photographer. This series spoke to the vanity side of my personality but I want to look into this initial interest further through the photographs that  I want to create that will be inspired by this episode.

I thought the chosen locations for this episode were remarkable. I am just attempting to understand why I am attracted to certain concepts and ideas.

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Budget Plan

As my goal is to create Lightboxes, I have put an estimated budget together.

My plan is to print at least 3 potentially 4 A2 prints and put them on a light box.

Supplies

The structure

1 Option (the cheaper one)

MDF Board - 1120 x 610 = £15 - £21

1 MDF board can make 3 A2s. 

2nd option (more expensive but ideal lightbox)

Perspex(clear plastic) - 1120 x 610 = £50 - £70 

1 Perspex could make 3 A2

Definite Supplies

Lights

Preferably LED lights

Will need 4 lights per box

Amazon - 2 lights each 34 cm x 340 for £13

others range to £13 - £20 

Each box for lights could equal to £28 - £40

3 Lightboxes strictly regarding lights = £84 - £120

4 light boxes strictly regarding lights = £112 - £160

Misc supplies

wood glue

White Paint

Filler to cover screws

Overall budget would be between £200 - £300 

for overall supplies for building the actual lightbox

not counting the prints as I was told I need to build the light boxes first before knowing the prints.

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BA (Hons) Photographic Arts Major Project 1 Research Report

This should be a summary of and a critical reflection on your research process so far. You should try to give the reader a sense of the process you have been through - your journey, your thoughts and decisions along the way and what has informed the choices you’ve made. Try to be as honest and as critically reflective as you can.

Please extend boxes as required (length 1000-2000 wds)

Name

Emily Kopaskie (Mela Kas)

Major Project Title

(Or working title - how and why did this title develop?)

They Are Me and I Am Them (working title)

No Costumes but All Mask (Working title)

Research Methods

(What methods have you used during this phase of the project and how have they helped you develop your ideas and inform your major project proposal?)

As my dissertation topic goes along with my initial project idea, that research has been apart of my thought process when photographing. Currently I’m writing about about the comparison of two female tropes (Femme Fatale and Manic Pixie dream girls) from completely different time periods but were both formed out of the males perspective and anxiety towards the changing times.  Femme Fatale and MPDG were both tropes that I would see in movies as a kid but never knew what to call them until recently. I have looked into why the men wrote these types of role, what iconography goes with it and how the fact that cinematic language can be more impactful than dialogue.  Part of this research will also include how these tropes had evolved by pop culture or the public redefining their roles and adding visual check lists to spot other examples of these tropes. This also set off a number of blogs and journal entries online by women who declare themselves the real life versions of these tropes, so I was interested in why so many people felt like they were a one dimensional character in real life.

With this in mind, I will be researching the pschyological impact of the cinema language of these tropes.  As Laura Mullvey discusses in her essay Visua Pleasures and Narrative Cinema, movies invite audiences to drop their ego and have it be replaced by the ones on the screen. As this is the process subconisouly I believe some of those images stay with us and persuade our own idea on how we should act and look. As for many years the film industry specifically hollywood was written from the males point of view, these tropes were written with a preconceived idea on how their leading ladies should act in the world.

This topic comes from a subjective place as I have realised I Identify with femme fatale and Manic Pixie dream girl greatly. As a kid I looked up to these characters for being different, independent, interesting and saw how desirable they were. I feel subconcisouly I have learned how to act and cultivated my own identity with them in mind.

Specifically this aspect of my disseratatiing will influence my photographing process as I personally identify with her argument. The easiest way for myself to escape was to loose myself in movies and tv shows. When the fact i didn’t understand my emotions was too much I would try to forget myself by loosing myself into movies and tv shows.

This research helps me be more  thoughtful in examining of my impulse decisions i make while producing self portraits that are inspired by the cinema.

Pilot Project

(What have you achieved through the development of your pilot project/s? What have you learned from the process? Identify the main concepts that might direct or drive your major project.)

I have achieved a decent amount of photos to ether choose from or that are usable  as a inspiration board when continuing.  I have also achieved a bit more of a appreciation of my impulse issues as it helps me be more passionate about photography.

I have learned to pay more attention to my settings on the camera as its important for these photos to be crisp  as I plan on displaying them on a lightbox. I will continue to watch more films for my research and engage with my emotions when watching characters that inspire me.

Audience and Context

(Has a consideration of Context and Audience made you think about your project in a particular way? Have you been aware of the histories, conventions and audience expectations of particular contexts? Have you considered different contexts and how have you responded to them?)

I’m aware that my project is in the same realm as Cindy Sherman, Nadia Lee Cohen and Anja niemi. All of these artists who identify as female work in self portraiture that are inspired by ether common cinema narratives or classic vintage Hollywood fashion of dress. While some are an obvious critique on roles that are available for female and on hyper femininity, I would mention that my project isn’t about critique the misgony towards women in film. It is a clafiricay or a statement that I am them and have been greatly internally influenced by the females I have seen on film. This project is admitting that my authentic self is not as authentic as one would believe. These tropes were a medium that I felt the most comfortable with when picturing what was desirable to men  I have been striving to cultivate the ideal version of my self with the help of these tropes and other female narratives.

Production and Presentation

(Discuss the production methods you have been exploring through your pilot project. What effects do these different approaches/ visual strategies have on the work?  What choices have you made in the refinement of your visual approach and why? Is the approach you have chosen effective in communicating your ideas to the identified audience?)

As this project is about my natural impulses, I am choosing to shoot in digital as this is where I am the most comfortable since I’m shooting self portraits. I have also downloaded a canon capture app on my phone which connects to my camera so I have more freedom with framing and focusing on my own. As I primarily work alone this is very helpful.

The things I found difficult is that I rely on all natural lighting I choose not to plan and set up my shoots to bring outdoor lighting as I feel it goes against the spontaneity of the project. That being sad that means during the low lighting moments are not the best quality as I had to use a high ISO often.

Also there has been times when shooting on my own has gotten difficult as the connection from my phone to the camera didn’t not work within places with very little service. As I will be planning on shooting up north preferably in the moors I am thinking of bringing an assistant as I’m limited to a 10 second timer to get into the desired position.

The fact that I choose to take photos of myself acting out these different scenarios  in my own clothing that i wear to a day to day basis I believe does begin to clue in on the meaning of the project. Going forward I am considering on research the places I visit more clearly to better plan out the images and really think about using lower ISO’s to improve the quality of the photos.

Visual References / Bibliography

(List the key visual and critical references you have explored during the research process. Discuss how useful these references were for the project and what you learned from them).

Francessca Woodman

She is a self portraiture photographer who primarily works in black and white analogue film. She is the one who said that she shoots herself out of connivence and photographs how her body interacts with environments. The movements made are very expressive and often comes out blurred. The locations chosen are often abandoned old looking houses or gothic style nature.

While her work doesn’t use a kind of cinematic language that I am striving for, the quickness and spontaneity of her process speaks to me as well.

Wuther Heights, Jane Eyre, 2011 Movie

The cinematography of the landscape in proportion to the subject had always intrigued me. The lone subject

The moors, which describes the land and kind of terrain that was the backdrop to Bronte sisters novels. As these novels were often about isolation and loneliness in the movies, the moors symbolised these feelings. The shots of the lone subjects with the vast flat foggy moors and brown but yet cool coloured terrain was beautiful shown through feelings of melancholy.

Cindy Sherman Unitled Film Stills

She was the first fine art photographer that was I was introduced who really spoke to me. Beforehand I felt lost as none of the photographers talked about in my lecture inspired me. She has influenced me greatly and allowed me to admit to myself how much I do not know myself but rather the image of who I want to be.

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Cali  Part 2

Landers, Cali

The Desert / Joshua Tree

I very much enjoyed the desert compared to Los Angeles I felt the most home there. 

I was inspired by the style of dress from the show Godless which was about a town in the eighteen hundreds that was mostly made up of females as most of the males died in a mining accident. In the end, there was a battle where all the females in the town learned how to shoot a gun to defend themselves winning the war against a group of bandits. I also very much enjoyed watching Westworld which shows female characters fighting back against the evilness of the west and humanity in general. I sometimes imagine and wish I could have the courage like these characters have when being sexually harassed in the past. 

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California  Part 1

Burnt malibu

The reason why i was able to afford tickets to california (usinally the prices from ny to LA are quite cheap) were because wat the time I bought them raging fires were engulfing parts of Los Angelas. 

While driving around during sunset I found this space that was damaged by the fires. The bright pink and blue sky was very surreal against the burnt barren ground. 

Here I was channeling my ultimate pink femme fatale housewife character enjoying a smoke around her aftermath.

Earlier in the day, I enjoyed being on the beach in Malibu. A place I have always heard old Hollywood stars use to escape too. 

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Portugal Trip

My time in the Azore Islands

For a week and a half, I traveled to a few different islands off the coast of Portugal.

I shot these on the island of Ponte delgado and the Saol Jorges.

The Saol Jorges island was where I spent most of my time. 

We stayed in a very small fishing town where very little people spoke English or Spanish. As it was during the offseason for tourists, buildings and houses were boarded up. It seemed to me that as it was one of the smallest islands even then they didn't get that much tourism and i wondered if the residents of this town felt isolated. For the youth, there didn't seem that much to do and the only job prospects were farming or fishing. All during the day men stood around the cafes smoking and drinking beer making me wondering how they made a living to be able to do that all day.

So during this time, I envisioned the feeling of waiting and wondering what to do next. As I was on an island it also made me think of the mothers and wives who would wait for their loved ones away at sea. 

There was a rock at the ledge down the street from my Airbnb.

The actions that came to mind when envision was helping someone up from the ledge to join the island, or to save them from falling. 

or to pretend you were catching flight to leave for good.

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Ideas

One Idea I am considering is taking the character out of it usual setting and put it in a completely different setting.

- Thinking of putting Jane Austen/Bronte inspired character in the desert?

- each photo is a mixture of all three female tropes Manic Pixie/isolated lead/ femme fatale?

- Just put the one character of me in that dress with the hat in completely different environments?

- Adopt my one character and shoot her/me everywhere I go to see how this character interacts with the different environments? *Islands of Portugal as an example and California?

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Manic Pixie/Femme Fatale/Bronte

So for this week of shooting due to rain, I decided to shoot primarily in my space instead of traveling back to Hampstead Heath.

As I have been researching for my dissertation which is about female character tropes that are based and simultaneously perpetuating negative views on female mental illness.  

In movies, the two character tropes I am researching is Femme Fatale and Manic Pixie Dreamgirl. While I both looked up to these stock characters from an adolescent I am now realizing the danger of doing so. I know am realising how much of my identity has been constructed by the films and books I read with the character traits that come from borderline personality disorder (a disorder I only found out about 2 months ago)

(Manic Pixie Dream Girl traits - quirky, erratic, fun, emotional, funky style, colored hair )

That being said here is what I was able to come up with in my impulsive shoot.

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Jane Austin Longing Part 2

Decided to skate to Hampstead Heath, one of my favorite parks.

This has been a park that I run too when trying to comfort my loneliness and feelings of isolation.

During times like these, going to beautiful old parts of London that makes me feel like I am transported to another time reminds me why I chose London to move too. 

I continued to channel my feelings of isolation and loneliness into an Austin/Bronte sisters aesthetic like narrative as that is one of the themes of these novels I was always drawn too.

 As a kid before I was old enough to read these novels, I found great beauty in seeing the moors and desolate terrain landscape that was set as the backdrop of these dramas in the movies. (shown in the move specifically the Brontes Jane Arye, Wuthering Heights etc. )

The environment and surroundings were a big part of these novels and were one of the many things that made me pay attention to cinematography.  

This was only shot in one part of the Heath, I continue to explore the rest of the heath to find more desolate places.

Then eventually plan on traveling up to Yorkshire to shoot at the actual places the Bronte sisters grew up and wrote there novels about.

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Jane Austin Longing part 1

Afterthoughts on impulses

- growing up loving the Edwardian/Victorian period piece movies usually based romance/gothic/ novels such as Sense and Sensibility, Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights

- always loved the environment, aesthetics and dark narratives they had

-  part of the reason why I moved to England 

- out of my environment, I see how I can imagine them at different times

- gives enjoy weird when I put myself in their place like the movies

- 

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Journal

This project is just as much about figuring out my own identity as it is about women and mental illness in cinema I am now realizing. 

Another observation is it makes sense while my favorite female characters in movies I was always drawn too were often shown in particular ways. Wondering how much the outside influence of these movies I grew up falling in love with has affected the formation of my identity. 

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Video Idea

Notes

while shooting, also do the same position and then set up the same way and film the same. See how you can potentially incorporate the merging of the two in post editing.

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October 14th - First week of Shooting

Thoughts after Shooting/ analyze decisions I made while acting out on impulse

- was beating myself up about my own old patterns with romance

- remembered when I was young and felt rejected would deal with it by taking self-portraits alone in my room or outside

- went back to my more comfortable way of shooting basing it off of self-expression

- when reflecting on my process helps me shift some issues out

- passion/impulse

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Movies/Shows I am looking at

Movies - with a female character that shows symptoms of borderline personality disorder

Fatal Attraction

Girl Interrupted

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Silver Linings Playbook

Prozac Nation

Thirteen

Shows - with a female character that shows symptoms of borderline personality disorder/depression/sex and love addiction, and alcohol abuse. 

My Crazy ex-girlfriend - Rebecca

Love - Mickey

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Photographer who I am currently looking at

Francesca Woodman

Things I relate to/ like about her work

- the fact she decides to do self-portraits out of convenience

- works with the body and how it can interact with the environment

- includes nudity, and the female form in the subject layers

- includes a bit of a performance in her work

- the ambiguity of her work

- edwardian/victorian style asethetic 

While she was alive and working, she was not famous. Only her work became well known after her suicide when she was 22 in 1981. Her work stands on its own without this added factor to her storyline, but knowing/finding out about her outcome has me coming back to the pictures and reflecting on them. The people who knew her while she was making them wanted to point out that people shouldn’t think about the fact she killed her self so much when digesting her photos which I think is very fair. That being said though with all the added elements of female identity, the human form with its environment and performative quality is a big inspiration but also her own struggles with mental illness and the fact she only usees her self-makes my project all the more connected to her work. 

I am excited to see what my own personal experience and interests that are relatable to her subjects take me visually.

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Final Project - Initial Thoughts

Things I am thinking about for my final project

- finding oneself

- identity

- how films and books may shape a self

- finding identity through film ( society reflection)

- female identity/mental illness

- mental illness and stigmas

- mental illness on screen

-mental illness on screen and gender

- how gender comes into play with the representation of different mental illness (in media, and film)

- female tropes

-female narrative tropes throughout the history, *Edwardian women female character tropes, to fem fatale, or submissive female love interest, to more modern the manic pixie dream girls

- how all these tropes have similar symptoms to the mental illness

- back and forth between what's real self and what the illness or what part of self is being influenced by the film and media.