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I don’t know who you are but I love you for this/p
wrong guy
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peak shit
giving up trying to decide on ranks for the branches and instead giving them special Only Personifications ranks.
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Space Force trying to establish satellites as Pokemon Go Stops
"Space, do we think this was proper use of military resources?"
Space Force kicked her feet a little bit, her toes barely touched the floor in this chair. She was avoiding Defense's gaze, she didn't think she was going to get in trouble for this. Air Force didn't care, she had even laughed when she found out. Army had given her a small lecture about being responsible, but even he wasn't upset.
Space looked up as there was a small scraping, a cellphone slid over the table with an app open. Pokemon go, specifically.
"no one plays Pokemon go anymore." she stated bluntly, it wasn't really a lie. The game had been mostly popular in 2016, three whole years before she was even born... or, created? established? something like that. Space only found out about it because Navy made fun of the lengths Air used to go to for it.
"apparently you do." just like that Defense reached for the remote clicking on the tv behind him, what popped up was a list of pokestops for the game. Among the list were a few... satellites, mostly belonging to the US Air & Space Force but also a few SpaceX and maybe a couple NASA. All which she had access to.
Space Force was good at a lot of things: complicated math in her head, memorizing the inner workings of ion thrusters, coming up with clever-ish ways to tease NASA (Nerds of Average Science Ability was one of her better ones). Space Force was also not good at a lot of things: opening salsa jars, running the mile and a half in less then sixteen min (it isn't her fault she has short legs), and most importantly in this scenario... lying.
"that wasn't me" she tried anyway, finally looking up at Defense but not really looking in his eyes.
There was a long moment of silence, then Defense cracked a smile for the first time since she had shown up at his office door; "don't let Gov find out"
"I'm sorry?"
Defense turned off the tv, "help me beat Air Force, don't let Gov find out, you can do whatever you'd like"
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Imma need a yorkjersey oneshot NEOW.
(please)
Ask and ye shall receive (eventually... /silly)
"Is It Really You Standing There...Or Am I Dreaming Once More...?"
Ship: YorkSey (New York x New Jersey)
Type: Hurt/Comfort
Trigger Warnings: blood, semi-graphic/graphic descriptions of injuries, removal of limbs(??? Ig??? Are wings technically limbs???)
Summary: New York is finally rescued, and New Jersey finally sees his now broken shell of a husband after 7 years. They reunite, there's tears, hugs, etc...
Connecticut and Rhode Island both struggled to hold New Jersey back from barging into the room where Massachusetts and Maryland were tending to New York, who had just been rescued from Great Britain's captivity.
"Jersey no! Ya can't just go barging in there!" Connecticut shouted through the struggle.
"And why the fuck can't I go see my partner after SEVEN FUCKING YEARS??" Jersey said, still desperately trying to get into the room. He needed to see his love right now.
Connecticut sighed for what had to be the 100th time, "Cuz Mass said so! Plus, are ya even mentally ready to see him?? I only caught a glimpse and he's...it's... it's not good, Jersey. Yer not ready."
Jersey paused in his struggles upon hearing the tone and sadness in Connie's voice. He too, softened his voice, "Please... just..just let me see him...I can take it..."
Rhode Island and Connecticut shared a look, and seemingly a non verbal conversation, before reluctantly letting go of New Jersey.
Rhode Island sighed, "Alright... go on. Just...be ready, I guess."
New Jersey finally walked into the room, and immediately, his heart sank.
New York was sitting upright in bed, leaning against Maryland for help. He looked... miserable, for lack of a better term. He had dark bags under his eyes, and his now waist long shaggy hair cascaded over his shoulders and face like some fucked up waterfall. Jersey noticed that the white patch that New York was born with in his hair, was now a dark red color. His entire torso was covered with bandages, some of which had already soaked through with blood. He was so, so, so, painfully skinny and emaciated. His visible skin was covered in a mix of blood and dirt and harsh scars, and his once vibrant teal eyes were now dull and lifeless. The back and head wings (eagle) that New York had always had put away were now matted down with blood, and it seemed that a lot of New York's back wings were...missing...and jagged harshly snapped bones and bloody feathers were all that remained.
Jersey stood there for a moment, struggling to collect his thoughts and process what the fuck had happened to his partner in those 7 years that the British had him. "York..."
New York seemed to perk up, and for the first time in a long time, his eyes lit up and were able to finally focus on something. In a soft, broken, raspy voice, one that was worn from crying and yelling in pain for 7 years straight, came the word...
"Jersey...?"
New York immediately tried to get out of bed to rush to his partner. His Jersey...but he failed, and his legs gave out beneath him. He would've fallen, had he not been caught by distantly familiar arms. New Jersey's arms... New York buries his face in what he hoped was the real Jersey's chest, not dream or hallucinated New Jersey... "Jersey...is it r-r-really you standing h-here...or am I dreaming once m-more...?"
New Jersey allowed the tears to fall from his eyes at last as he held his wounded and tortured partner like he was the most precious thing in the world. Well. To Jersey, he was.
"It's me, it's my love...my dear York..."
York cried into Jersey's chest...he wanted to believe it, he needed to believe it...he could almost hear the cruel laugh and words of Great Britain that the older would use whenever York was having dreams or hallucinations of his loved ones being there in the prison with him.
"P-P-Promise...?"
New Jersey tilted New York's head up ever so gently. Immediately York noticed that his head was being tilted up, though not in the harsh way that Great Britain would do it, the way that would sometimes leave bruising on his jaw and chin. But this...this was so, so gentle, it didn't hurt, and no harsh words followed.
"I promise, Yorkie. Yer okay now...no one will hurt you, Britain isn't here, nor will ever be ever again. Yer safe, I promise..." New Jersey whispered to New York.
And, for the first time in almost his entire life, New York believed the words being said. He was safe...He's with Jersey... He's with the other colonies...no more hurt... New York let out a shaky sigh, and relaxed in Jersey's hold...
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Florida shipping states will never not be my favorite thing
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July 18, 1936:
“Oklahoma saw the way Arkansas’s nose scrunched up at California’s pristine suit. He silently begged him not to say anything. It put a bad taste in his mouth, but he didn’t want them to get off on the wrong foot with their new employer before they were even inside his mansion.
“Do ya always wear white clothes?” Arkansas asked. It didn’t sound like an insult immediately, so Oklahoma allowed himself to be relieved.
California smiled brightly, “Only when I’m trying to impress!” He said it like a joke, but the humor was lost on the two of them. Oklahoma let out a small laugh and elbowed Arkansas to clue him in. California smiled even wider at them.”
@wttt-week day 3! From @the-phoenix-heart’s upcoming Dust Bowl-themed fic. ;)
Close-up/details under the cut:


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Fun fact! Once a week Oklahoma goes to The Center of the Universe Circle and screams. And screams. And screams.
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two steps ahead
I am ALWAYS
two steps ahead.
okay but what if I made Coast a woman and she and Air were lesbians. what then.
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MY PEAK SHIT IS ON
Feed me more Military oneshots or rambles or wtv the fuck MY SILLIES
oh i can def give you rambles bc they are always on the mind:
Air Force and Space Force are weird siblings and Army is their way too normal for their antics uncle. like he loves them both so much and is doing his best to mentor them or whatever but if he gets up at night one more time to find the two of them laying on the kitchen floor in the dark, like little fucking tripping hazards, he's going to put them in a cardboard box and leave them on the side of the road.
since Nat'l Guard, Army, Air Force, and Space Force all wear the same uniform (OCPs) sometimes their laundry will get mixed up and you just see Air walking down the hall in a jacket that's way too big because she thinks its funny to knock on Army's door, act super normal and make HIM acknowledge that she's wearing it. or like, a true and real interaction between Nat'l and Space is
"why do you have my pants?" "Why are your clothes doll sized. we all have questions, Space."
The branches last names are as follows:
National Guard - Schuttmann, German origin, literally means Guardsman, the most on the nose of all of them but I like it for him.
Army - Durand, French origin, 'enduring'. The only one I picked based off vibes lol
Coast Guard - Rantala, Finnish, from ranta 'shore/beach'. enough explaining.
Navy - Douglas, Scottish origin meaning 'black stream'. Both water related and John Paul Jones the founder of the US Navy was Scottish. The most fitting one of all of them tbh.
Marines - Marius, Latin origin, comes from Mars the Roman god of war + probably the latin word for manly. Usually a first name I think but I could not help myself u know his ass would pick something like this.
Air Force - Vogel, German origin, means bird. everyone who followed me for hetalia shut up I know this is Liechtenstein's last name and i don't care I love it and I want to give it to Airy. let me have this.
Space Force - Estrella, Spanish origin, means star. okay so this one is also on the nose but let me have it.
None of them picked first names because 'it doesn't make sense we all just go by last anyway'. Nat'l has a first name but its literally just John. this does however lead to the states calling the branches by random first names joking one day they'll hear one they like enough to keep. florida being extra annoying following them around with a baby names book just reading them all off.
they tried to group project teaching Space Force how to drive a car and it went Badly. Everyone be sympathetic to Army about his now totaled truck. he just got the seat in the perfect spot. Space Force still cannot drive.
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I’m trying to figure out how to classify mines but here I go
Yes the improper term for them would be Countryhumans, but the term Personifications is used as the official way to refer to them.
Their scientific name as a whole would be Homo patruis anthropomorphus (shoutout to chat gpt for helping me with that)
I’m still working on how they were turned into personifications bc they were born human, They used to have human parents an siblings, some of them even had families of they’re own before they were turned.
But the highest contender is black magic being used to create superhumans and this ritual had been passed down for centuries and yet there is no way to turn them back.
There is also a hierarchy system
Countries -> Organizations-> Governments -> States = Provinces -> Capitals -> Cities.
Organizations would be the highest but they are artificially made (AI robots) by the countries. Their biology is also different. They’re made up of this rock like material which makes it harder for them to get hurt and when they do instead of cuts it’s cracks and they bleed this highly acidic oil substance they refer to as “ichor”
They lack feet, I took inspiration from murder drones 😋. They also lack irises and pupils but their vision is like 10x better than the regular human. They also have heightened senses too, such being able to taste better (even tho they don’t require nutrients) Being able to hear ungodly well, being able to smell way better, etc.
I don’t know if I exactly answered your question but I just really wanted to yap about my Countryhumans AU
all people who personify human collectivities (except mutuals i’ve already seen yours) tell me how your personifs work (or tell me where i can read about how they work) NOW. i’m trying to come up with More Terms to categorize these systems and i want to find commonalities in those systems and i need more reference data
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rhodejersey oneshot perchance🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹(i would give a prompt but im all out of ideas it’s like 2am🐺)
Here ya go! Sorry it took a little while lol, it’s also kinda short.
Rainy Cuddles - a RhodeJersey Oneshot
Rhode Island turned off the stove and grabbed a ladle and two bowls (one for him, one for Jersey). It was a cool, rainy evening, and seemed like chicken soup weather to Rhode. After pouring soup into each bowl, he walked into the dining room/living room (they were connected) and set the food on a table. Rhode walked down the hall to his and Jersey’s shared room, and was a little surprised when he didn’t see him there.
Rhode walked back out into the rest of the house, and on his way back to the living area, there he saw it.
New Jersey was sprawled out on the floor of the living room with a blanket wrapped around himself and pillows surrounding him. His beanie had been discarded, allowing his shaggy, brown hair to flow every which-way. His facial expression was one of peace and contentment, a stark contrast to his usual smirk or scowl. Rhode Island felt his heart skip a beat at this adorable sight.
After a moment of staring and considering whether or not he should wake Jersey up, Rhode knelt down and began gently shaking Jersey’s shoulder. "Ay. Jers. Wake up, there’s food."
No response.
"Jers."
A stir.
"Jersey."
Another stir and groan, and Jersey hid his face in the blankets.
"C’mon, Honeybee. Can’t pick ya up, yer too tall and heavy for me to do so."
Rhode Island promptly felt New Jersey’s devil tail (cuz Jersey Devil) wrap around his waist and pull him down into the blankets with him.
"C’mon Jersey the foods gonna get co-" Rhode’s breath hitched when he felt Jersey coil around him like a snake and snuggle into his neck. "…fine…I guess a nap wouldn’t be too bad…stubborn little shit…"
"Mmm….‘little’, says the one who’s 4’10..." mumbled Jersey.
"Oh hush you…that’s basically 5 feet!"
"Mhm…"
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do ppl still know about this meme. idk. i thought it was funny
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Overworked. [ROTTMNT]
HII this is my first post ^^
I wrote this awhile ago so it's not the best, but its good enough to where I feel comfortable posting it
uh anyways TW for self harm, its nothing crazy or graphic but Donnie has a distressful arm scratching stim.
oh and TCEST DNI!!!!!!!!!!
"USELESS, USELESS, USELESS!!"Donnies rage was heard from just outside his lab. Clearly, he wasn't the most peachy at the moment. He spun in his chair with a pen to his mouth, trying to think. He was attempting to rebuild some of his tech after the shredder attack, a good chunk of his materials were lost to the destruction of the lair, so he needed to salvage as much as possible. But it wasn't exactly working out.
The purple masked turtle scratched at his arm in distress, needing to regulate himself. He knew he probably just needed a break, but he couldn't let himself do that. Not right now. His main objective was to rebuild S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N, but that was taking longer than expected, so he occupied himself with other tech projects. Soon enough, there was a knocking at Donatellos lab door.
"Yeah, come in." Donnie called reluctantly, wiping off stress sweat from his forehead.In stepped Leonardo, who looked both concerned and slightly amused. He had a banana in his hand that he gestured with as if it was a phone. "Sorry, nerd city called, they want you to renew your citizenship." Leo joked with a grin.
His purple brother looked unamused and sighed. "What do you want?" He asked as he continued tinkering with tech on his desk. Leonardo peeled the banana and handed it over to Donatello. "Here, you need some kinda sustenance. You've practically locked yourself in here all day and you haven't eaten anything yet." He offered with a genuine smile this time.
Donnie took the banana and took a bite with skepticism, then put it to the side. "Right. Thanks. Is that all? I have work to do." Usually when Leo was genuinely nice to him, he wanted something. So Don was quick to get his brother out of his sight. Leonardo raised a non-existent eyebrow. "Sorta," He pulled up a second chair and sat next to Donnie. "But I wanted to ask if you were.. doin' good?""I have a headache, if that answers your question." Donnie stated blandly.
"And that's from lack of water." Leo critisized with crossed arms, "I mean mentally. You've been in here all day, and I've noticed that S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N isn't... around. Though, lets be honest, he wasnt around much anyway since the 13th update, heh." He threw in a sad excuse for a joke at the end, just to lighten the mood. Donnies eyebrows furrowed as he stared at his desk. "Yeah." His voice broke as he gave his one word answer.
The two brothers sat in the quiet for a bit after that. Leo relaxed in his chair and watched Donnie work on some sorta tech thing he didn't quite understand. "Watcha working on?" He asked attempting to break the awkward silence. "Fixing the circuitry on some of my motherboards. A lot of them got jacked up during the attack." Replied Donatello, his tone shakey, but trying to keep steady. Leos eyes ended up at Donnies arms, where he noticed the unnatural red hue on the topside of them. He knew his brother well enough to put together the pieces.
Leonardo tilted his head with concern. "You need a hug, Dee?" Leo got straight to the point. Donnie wasn't the type to ask for things, especially things he truly wanted or needed. He also didn't enjoy talking about his issues, atleast not often. Most of the time he just needs the comfort, then he moves on. Donnie paused his work for a moment, then slowly nodded with quivering lips. Leonardo moved his chair closer and reached out, letting his brother initiate first. Donnie leaned into the embrace and the brothers wrapped arms around eachother.
They hugged in silence for awhile, Donnies audible sniffles from silent tears being the only sound heard. Poor thing was exhausted from keeping up with the standards he put up for himself. "Overworked?" Leo asked in a gentle voice very unlike his usual cocky and jokey tone. Donnie nodded. Leo frowned, "Y'know, everyone else is taking a breather. You should too." He advised, "You don't need to be working on your nerdy tech stuff every two miliseconds."
"Right." Donnies voice cracked.
"You wanna talk about it?" Leo questioned, although he expected a 'no', he asked anyway. Donnie shook his head. Exactly like how Leo guessed. More silence followed.
"......Why couldn't the sailor learn the alphabet?" Leonardo started without context.
"...?"
"Because he always got lost at 'C'."
Donnie pulled back slightly to meet Leos face, who had his classic shit eating grin. Donnie looked unimpressed. "Well, now you've ruined the moment." As annoyed as he sounded, he was trying to hold back a smile. "Oh, how dare I try to cheer up my distressed brother." Leo said sarcastically. Donatello let out an annoyed grumble, but then giggled a bit. "You're so dumb." He flicked Leos forehead and pulled away completely now. Atleast the emotional talk was over. Donnie hated emotional talk. "Anyways, I have things I need to do, get out of my lab before this gets more sappy than it already has." Donnie jokingly shooed away Leo, still sniffling a bit from crying earlier. The crying in question really brought out Donnies eyebags from his recent sleepless nights.
"Not if I have anything to do with it, hermano." Leo grinned and took out his phone, seemingly texting somebody. Donnie raised an eyebrow. "Huh? Wait, what are you planning now?" Donatello questioned. He attempted to look over at Leos phone screen to see what he was doing. Leo chuckled, "Just texting Raph, I'm telling him to get the blanket." He said slyly. Donnies eyes widened. "Wait... Wait we can talk about this-"
"Too late."
IAnd before Donnie knew it, he was wrapped up in a blanket like a turtle burrito against his will, placed on the couch, and was forced to watch whatever his brothers were doing on the TV. As much as he complained about it, he fell asleep within two minutes, finally getting that rest he needed and deserved.
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feed me…feed me more please
Army: what do you have there?
Air Force: Ice cream sir.
Army: Good, enjoy it.
Space Force: We got sprinkles sir :)!
Army: jesus.
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