mellowmoonballoon

[mellowmoonballoon]

[mellowmoonballoon]

Holding a little piece of everyone I love as I journey through life.

[mellowmoonballoon]

Ok, I stopped barking long enough to write down some stuff. Let’s talk about the Ramil/Paytai nc scene. I’m seeing some discourse along the lines of “Ramil realized that he was being abusive with Paytai”, “he realized he was perpetuating the violence that Paytai suffered at the hands of his father” etc. and as someone who is a dom IRL (not as a job but for personal fun time), I wanted to share some thoughts and maybe provide some insights.

First, I can’t stress this enough: bdsm play is not abuse. Dom/sub dynamics (properly negotiated) are not abuse.

Ramil is absolutely not abusive in his intimate life with Paytai. He literally doesn’t move a muscle unless Paytai tells him to. I’m not saying he’s never toxic - he’s obviously very jealous and possessive. Tbh though, I think he’s actually not that controlling outside the figurative bedroom. Many times we see him actually defer to Paytai instead of deciding something by himself and imposing it, which is (ahem) more than can be said about Khanin with Charan.

But engaging in bdsm play is not abuse. Pain/impact play is not abuse, it’s not violence. Violence is about inflicting harm/damage - Ramil never wants to harm Paytai, the show makes that abundantly clear.

I also don’t think flogging (and whatever other pain play they engage in) was introduced by Ramil, based on who he is shown to be and the fact that he never moves a finger until Paytai tells him to. I believe that Paytai is the one who initially asked Ramil to use a flogger on him, because he’s the, let’s say, main sub in the relationship and bdsm play (usually) centers around the sub’s desires. Paytai choosing to integrate flogging into his sex life, when and how he chooses, with a partner he loves and trusts, can be a way to reclaim something that harmed him in a different context and find empowerment in it. It is not the same thing as perpetuating violence. Paytai is not a victim in his sex life.

When we see the brief flashback of the night before the bike ride, Paytai is wearing a collar tied to a chain, which Ramil holds as he fucks him. This is also bdsm, and it’s very clear in the scene that they are both having a great fucking time. No one is being taken advantage of.

Now the end of the lace scene: Ramil not wanting to use the flogger (whip) on Paytai doesn’t mean that he suddenly doesn’t vibe with their dom/sub dynamic or bdsm play. I personally think for Ramil, the pain play was never his thing, really; he did it for Paytai. His thing was always the ownership - the reassurance that Paytai is his and his alone, that he’s not going anywhere. He can realize that he’s not comfortable using a flogger anymore, or maybe in that specific moment, because of the trauma they’ve both experienced but still enjoy tying up Paytai, being tied up by him, having Paytai tell him he belongs to him, etc. It can also be that in that moment, what he (Ramil) needed the most was softness. It doesn’t make any of the other stuff bad.

[mellowmoonballoon]

i think what really sets me off is that poetry, literature, and calligraphy were not only masculine pastimes to have (+ the scholar class was male-only, famously), nie huaisang focusing so much on them is reminiscent of chinese dynastic succession struggles. in the past, unambitious siblings would throw themselves into the arts, poetry, music, etc, while eschewing politics and power plays so their siblings who DID have ambitions for the throne wouldnt kill them. having martial and military power made you a threat, and with how the cultivation world at the time looked geopolitically, it was crucial for him not to attract too much attention (esp with what type of cultivation qinghe nie is known for). it's such a small detail but makes perfect sense, especially taking into account how he is meant to be a frivolous second young master and not the heir like his brother (where such a sentiment would be much more frowned upon). there is sm nuance to his character but western fans see his fans and how he has no idea how to pick up a sword and go "ok hes the effeminate limp wristed artist lol"

[mellowmoonballoon]

they’re eating tteokbokki

떡볶이 념념

[mellowmoonballoon]

[mellowmoonballoon]

As , the United States, potentially heads into another forever war I can only think of this quote.

[mellowmoonballoon]

if you want me to consume a new media you MUST catch me at the exact moment when the stars are aligned and the air pressure is equal to the current degree of the sun’s peak against the horizon and all the cosmic energies are perfectly unified (aka my old interest is fading out) or i will nod and say “im adding that to my list!” Knowing theres no chance i will check it out

[mellowmoonballoon]

hmmm

[mellowmoonballoon]

my cat has not been enjoying the heatwave

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Why is this heat so hot 😩

[mellowmoonballoon]

Is this QL couple into that kink?

[mellowmoonballoon]

parents were amazed how well the dogs walked on leash so in case this trick is more uncommon than I thought here’s my training technique

If a dog pulls on the leash just stop and stand there

that’s it that’s the trick you become a seat belt it works real fast. Start walking again if they stop pulling & even better if you wait until they look at you first (sometimes u might have to call them back to stop pulling if they are a bit dumb)

[mellowmoonballoon]

Is this QL couple into that kink?

[mellowmoonballoon]

happy pride month to the fuck tree I guess