memcirs

[memcirs]

🐝  *  ―  𝑺𝑷𝑰𝑹𝑰𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑨𝑾𝑨𝒀 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  we'll just have to make do.  ❜ ❛  come on, it'll be fun.  ❜ ❛  wait, where are we going?  ❜ ❛  you can't be here. go now!  ❜ ❛  it's just a dream, a stupid dream.  ❜ ❛  don't be afraid. i'm a friend.  ❜ ❛  i can't stand up. what should i do?  ❜ ❛  now listen, i'l tell you what to do. if you stay here, they'll find you. i'll distract them while you get away.  ❜ ❛  you have no choice if you want to survive here ... and save your parents, too.  ❜ ❛  why do i need a weakling like you?  ❜ ❛  trembling, aren't you? still, i'm impressed you made it this far.  ❜ ❛  what a pain. you're gonna pay for this.  ❜ ❛  keep your wits about you. if you need anything, ask me.  ❜ ❛  hey, are you okay? don't fall apart on me.  ❜ ❛  listen to me. i'll promise i'll save you.  ❜ ❛  what did you expect after all that rain?  ❜ ❛  i'm gonna get there someday. i'll get out of here for sure.  ❜ ❛  i was just coming to wake you up, look!  ❜ ❛  what should i do? he'll die!  ❜ ❛  what's so funny? wipe off that smile.  ❜ ❛  don't do anything stupid until i get down there.  ❜ ❛  you see, someone i really care about is badly hurt. i've got to go right now.  ❜ ❛  this is our little secret. if you tell anyone ... i'll do the same to you.  ❜ ❛  what are you going to do? he needs help.  ❜ ❛  becoming a sorcerer's apprentice is dangerous business.  ❜ ❛  well, getting there is one thing. getting back's the problem.  ❜ ❛  [name], i promise i'll be back. please don't die.  ❜ ❛  don't you understand? it's love.  ❜ ❛  what took you so long? this is a total disaster!  ❜ ❛  what do you want? you can tell me.  ❜ ❛  what, you're still alive?  ❜ ❛  you still don't see it? she's played a trick on you.  ❜ ❛  since when do you talk that way?  ❜ ❛  you held this, and nothing happened to you?  ❜ ❛  i'd like to help you, but there's nothing i can do. it's one of our rules here.  ❜ ❛  but can't you even give me a hint?  ❜ ❛  everything that happens stays inside you ... even if you can't remember it.  ❜ ❛  see? you have a talent for this.  ❜ ❛  [name], i no longer blame you for what you did. but be sure to protect this girl.  ❜ ❛  will we meet again somewhere?  ❜

[memcirs]

this is a PERMANENT STARTER CALL for eleanor van helsing, a book-based oc from bram stoker’s dracula - mutuals only. this allows me to write you starters, put things in your inbox, im you for plotting, etc. with a moody, nocturnal doctor. if you are interested, please feel free to like this post! thank you!

[memcirs]

@desanctii | from x.

( what he will see when he meets prussian blue gaze, TREMBLING beneath weight of cold tears, is the very determination he knows will condemn her. paired with it will be the shock of BETRAYAL &. honest mortal fear. how could she not have known? how could she not see what was before her very eyes? you stupid, blind FOOL! searching this entire time for a DEMON plaguing shadowed streets, pallid &. BESTIAL, doctor believing herself to be so clever. now the VEIL has been lifted &. she sees him - TRULY sees him - eleanor feels utterly witless, BOVINE, pinned within the endless depths of his gaze. )

( deception twists pounding heart, tightens in her lungs, drains the color from her features. wet lips QUIVER as maelstrom of emotions thunders within her breast. scholar stumbles backward, managing to tear eyes away from his UNNATURALLY still form. his words wash over her - hardly heard - until his last statement rings CLEAR in her ears. now it is her turn to be still, fresh ANGER burning anew in chest &. throat, slow rise of blue hues coupled with tear-streaked visage SNARLING with fear &. fury. doctor approaches with all the frenzy of a TEMPEST, hot flush reddening throat &. cheeks brilliant crimson. ) 

‘ I AM ALREADY DAMNED! don’t you see?! i - i - ! ‘

( she stops suddenly, WAIFISH figure swaying only a few feet away from strigoi. raw grimace contorts, HORROR pinching eyebrows together &. dropping jaw in increasing distress. hand presses to bodice - while usually corset beneath provided eleanor with structure, a sense of SUPPORT &.security she now feels it further constricting breath already unwilling to fill PINCHED lungs. everything suddenly feels tight, OVERWHELMING, hyperconscious of everything around her. stilting dutch accented tones whose BOOM still rang out around them now cracks, restrained, clammy hands pressing firmly to stiff fabrics as if to WILL air, speech out of her throat that refuses to come. it is clear from PALLOR to staggering silhouette eleanor is close to fainting. )

‘ i - can’t - breathe - ! ‘

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white blouse

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@volpur | x.

( breath hitches, stifled in a throat constricting with FEAR. the search for her brother’s killer had led eleanor &. her father here, MEMORY vivid even after nearly two decades had passed. the senior van helsing was, alas, too INFIRM to travel with her but trusted she was CAPABLE enough to face what dwelled within castle dracula. ever her father’s daughter, she too was now a medical doctor with interest in UNUSUAL cases, pouring over dusty TOMES in the dead of night. by the time she snuck onto unhallowed grounds even she believed her father’s CONFIDENCE in her - until, clumsily, her path crosses with feasting VAMPYR. )

( strigoi in her books were illustrated as HIDEOUS, gaunt creatures, inhuman BLOODLUST the only emotion blazing behind witless gaze. the woman across from eleanor, in all her MAGNIFICENCE, therefore struck the doctor dumb with both shock &. dawning HORROR. the dead man, droplets of ICHOR she wipes so casually from her lips, unrestrained MONSTROSITY of it all! it is too much for her, broken GROAN escaping parted lips before ink-smeared digits press to her mouth as she stumbles backward. WAIFISH scholar catches offhand comment … the count! no no no, this creature would cut the cord &. allow the sword of damocles to fall! )

‘ n - no! th - the c - count … does not know i’m h - here. i should like to k - keep it that way. please - ! ‘

( stuttering lilt is heavily laden with dutch accent, halting in cadence out of suffocating PANIC. hands now rise in SUPPLICATION, silent plea for mercy. as she does silver crucifix - previously hidden by heavy cloak - glimmers FAINTLY in moonlight, rays of silver light momentarily reflected within eyeglass lenses &. briefly BLINDING good doctor. wincing, boots automatically take further step backward only for heels to thud against COLD stone walls behind her. with some effort she trains her gaze on VAMPYR again, clenching her jaw in attempt to stop shaking. )

‘ st - stay back! ‘

[memcirs]

MONSTER​.

𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐄𝐗𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃, he had learned to not sleep on an EMPTY stomach, in fear that he would wake up without the appetite to eat a all in the matter of a few days. Starving himself to the point of insanity. It will be then that most humans who were around him would be hoping they weren’t. It was LUCKY for than that he knew feeding time was the moment he woke up as the dawn approached. The vampire leans against the front of the counter top with his elbow, hand on his cheek while he pretends to enjoy the alcohol giving to him. ( In a way, such a beverage does affect the mind, but only in major quantities. The taste was bitter & likely more of the taste of sparkling water. Though as MOST vampires do; they add a little drips of blood from hidden vials & you got yourself a happy normal blood drinker. )

It was quiet tonight, the time was lingering a little for him, going by a little too slowly. As one of the girls began to close up & clock out for the evening, Lestat stood up from the stool & followed the human out of the establishment. Eyes pierced through the shadows, glaring among the near by reflected lights like that of an animal. Glancing up, a blanket of stars that stretched to infinity was breath taking to say the least; always ENJOYED a soft quiet night to feed. The occasional barking of faraway dogs broke the silence, but it left no imagination to now a days adolescents just how dangerous the night could be. As a creature of the night sneaks up on the other who was walking hastily to the only possible escape the stranger had to leave. With thirst rising within his throat, there was a soft hum. Stumbling through the doors while leaning against the near pillars to keep self propped up right. Assuming no one was watching from in side, this would be rather sad in retrospect— EMBARASSING.

                         ( she stills, then BRISTLES as he rises - seemingly unaware of her presence, BURNING in this dark corner of the bar. doctor had watched his feigned interest in the drink before him &. the sharp contrast to GLINTING, reflective glare that had settled on his chosen prey. disgusted FURY makes blood sing in her ears, churning with ever-present morbid CURIOSITY he can drink more than just blood? is it a façade or can he enjoy food &. drink as she can? scholar’s need for truth, for KNOWLEDGE guiding her gaze, never leaving his receding figure. with a start - drink slowing her thoughts - she realizes he is not only leaving, he is HUNTING &. she must do something, anything! RIGHT NOW! last of amber liquid is swallowed with a wince, leaving what she is sure is too much money on worn countertop as she REELS with anger, with fright. ) 

                         ( how to distract vampyr from intended prey? what to do once his ATTENTION is on her? thoughts come in pieces, swimming similarly to vision behind gold-framed lenses. DRUNK, you fool, you are drunk! deep blues manage to focus on mirrored wall behind bar, catching her reflection; heavy-lidded gaze, deep FLUSH coloring cheeks, full lips shining, parted as she tries to breathe beyond building panic &. INTOXICATION. quickly - a little clumsily - eleanor unpins braided bun atop her head, thick auburn plait sitting low on her back. shaking some UNRULY curls out, pinching already REDDENED cheeks, unbuttoning first few buttons of crisp oxford - she must be more enticing, she MUST lure the beast away from innocent with no thought of what will happen if she succeeds. ) 

                         ( good doctor BURSTS from exit soon after monster &. intended victim, forcing smile on DELICATE features as she leans against brick &. mortar, stumbling over her own loafers as she ignores them, as if completely unaware in her own drunken stupor. be fragrant, loud, ALLURING - anything to draw his attention! anything to save poor girl &. sate her own curiosity ... fiery coils loosen from braid in cooling breeze, scent of anger &. CARELESSNESS warming air. with some effort she produces cigarette, lighter, purposely &. audibly flicking wheel. distract, distract! )

@desiredprince | x.

( doctor has been watching him since he arrived. she has watched, has KNOWN night upon night upon night. his OBJECTIVE beauty had thrown her off at first, always assuming vampyr to be as HIDEOUS as her crumbling tomes, yellowing pages would have her believe. it disgusts her, ENRAGES her, his irresistible lure drawing poor souls in this too-loud bar to him like moths to FLAME. his advantage must make the hunt so easy, so EFFORTLESS; in her dingy bartop corner eleanor CHOKES down yet another glass of liquid courage even as her head SWIMS, throbs, drink BURNING down her throat. )

( she will not approach - not yet, not for a long while yet. she wants to - no, NEEDS to - catch him in the act first, academic within floundering under all her DRINK &. still convinced nothing resembling a HUMAN so closely could truly be what she had sought for so long. so doctor waits, WATCHING not-so-subtly for him to pick his victim to confirm what she already KNOWS. her position at the very corner of the bar ensured SAFE vantage point but she has now DRUNK her fill - deep blue gaze VENOMOUS, cheeks so flushed as to match the vibrant AUBURN of curls gathered about grave expression. her entire being is WARM with quiet rage, scent of it almost palpable. forcing herself to order another drink she bides her time - she is looking for a FIGHT. )

[memcirs]

"--I BURN'D &. ACHED FOR WINGS."

independent, highly selective eleanor van helsing, an oc from bram stoker's dracula. based on my own headcanons with inspiration mainly drawn from the novel. side blog to wcstenra, also running another dracula blog: the bride.

a scholar consumed by the need to discover, to dissect, to exterminate. a woman driven by blind faith, legacy, revenge. a blog dedicated to the daughter of the doctor, icarus burning &. falling towards the void. the sun was not meant for you, my love. penned by anne.

interest tracker. | playlist. | starter call.

[memcirs]

@desiredprince | x.

( doctor has been watching him since he arrived. she has watched, has KNOWN night upon night upon night. his OBJECTIVE beauty had thrown her off at first, always assuming vampyr to be as HIDEOUS as her crumbling tomes, yellowing pages would have her believe. it disgusts her, ENRAGES her, his irresistible lure drawing poor souls in this too-loud bar to him like moths to FLAME. his advantage must make the hunt so easy, so EFFORTLESS; in her dingy bartop corner eleanor CHOKES down yet another glass of liquid courage even as her head SWIMS, throbs, drink BURNING down her throat. )

( she will not approach - not yet, not for a long while yet. she wants to - no, NEEDS to - catch him in the act first, academic within floundering under all her DRINK &. still convinced nothing resembling a HUMAN so closely could truly be what she had sought for so long. so doctor waits, WATCHING not-so-subtly for him to pick his victim to confirm what she already KNOWS. her position at the very corner of the bar ensured SAFE vantage point but she has now DRUNK her fill - deep blue gaze VENOMOUS, cheeks so flushed as to match the vibrant AUBURN of curls gathered about grave expression. her entire being is WARM with quiet rage, scent of it almost palpable. forcing herself to order another drink she bides her time - she is looking for a FIGHT. )

[memcirs]

tentative — discord now available upon request!

[memcirs]

VAMPYR.

~~ Vampire in it’s rawest form, a gaping hole for a mouth like a black pit where countless lives had been sucked through. A jaw that was unlatched enough for him to tear apart anything between the jagged teeth that appeared at will. An ancient being whose very existence thrived on a mountain of dead beneath his feet, and a cruel creature whom sought nothing else but his own fulfillment through the spilling of valuable blood. Evil incarnate. Sins combined into one form that stood not far from where she was, finishing another meal out of potential thousands. Even hundreds of thousands. Nobody knew just how many have died by this specific monsters hands, the monster himself hardly remembering or even bothering to keep track of the exact digit. His ears listened, gurgling in the throat of the creature ceasing to the dead silence in the night, freezing to a stop. A quick rushing patter of a sound in the distance. Pumping blood, the heart.  || G L  A S S   S H A T T E R S || Jerry snapped his head to the direction of the noise, indeed confirming his theory that he sensed a beating drum nearby. Canines slightly stained in old blood bared, a ravenous hiss that sounded nigh worthy enough to be a roar echoed behind her.  With his speed, he made sure to not make a direct beeline behind this stranger, INTRUDER. No, he wanted to savor the fear, the kill. Now that she was stuck in a dead end, Jerry wanted to be the center of her vision. Hand resting on a wall, talons clicking on the surface in the night. Barely illuminated by how dark outside it really was. His breath ragged with a light hiss underneath.  A voice emerged from the beast, distorted and far too deep for a normal being. Like the vampire was trying to mimic human speech but mixed it with its own demonic twist. “Hey little lady.” A sharp grunt came from the ?man? with a snapping, popping, breaking crackle. Jaw clicking back into his sockets to form a more conventional, attractive face. Continuing his words with a smooth baritone. “What have we got here?”  ~~

                         ‘ no no no no no no no no - shit! ‘

                         ( panting silhouette slams into UNYIELDING, impenetrable wall before her. palms slap cold brick, QUIVERING fingertips dancing over uneven surface as if scholar would find purchase on something, ANYTHING. maybe a crack to begin an ascent up? an opening she does not immediately spy running blindly ahead? but nothing, nothing - clay structure stands emotionless to her PLIGHT even as hands clench into fists, BEATING rough surface in panicked frustration. heart throbs in her ears, CONSTRICTING her throat with palpable thuds. HYSTERIC sob is forcibly swallowed, lump lodged at back of throat; good doctor could not, would not let the vampyr see her cry. )

                         ( &. yet the tears come, blurring vision behind glasses. a roar, GAIT far too quick for that of a normal man - the confident, INEVITABLE stride of a predator. twisting around, almost STUMBLING, stomach lurches upon realizing she will have to face RAW horrors. how clumsy doctor seems, almost BOVINE in comparison to perfected stride of the beast. beads of brilliant RUBY surface on cheekbone, superficial SCRAPE from when she collided with brick now digging into her spine. hands fumble for jacket pocket, reassuringly tracing outline of journal in jacket pocket - within, among other things, is WRITTEN testimony &. sketches, will it be enough to present to police? )

                        ( he is something to BEHOLD - shadows mercifully conceal full extent of his being, but NAUSEATING sounds of clicking nails, popping bone still emanate from his cloak of SHADOW. eleanor groans in disgust, shaking digits CLAMPING over mouth … yet dark blue hues betray emotion beyond fresh horror.  ever the student, STARVING for glimpses of truth, there is revolted FASCINATION shining deep within repulsed glare. a strange, churning mix of clinical captivation &. unrestrained TERROR making stomach leaden with fear &. confusion. unhinging jaw was a rare quality hardly recorded according to her STUDIES, but it would explain why bite marks had been difficult to identify in FORENSIC analysis … )

                        ( fingertips grasp at her throat, pulling so FIERCELY at chain hung there necklace snaps, sudden friction scraping metal against her nape. uneven CRIMSON scratches sting in open air, dismissed as bauble is held out before her - a silver CRUCIFIX, moonlight glinting off its reflection. free hand reaches in her pocket, producing temporary identification police department had given her for this case - as if it would mean ANYTHING to the creature. accented tones tremble so VIOLENTLY it is a wonder eleanor can complete a sentence, yet still pure VENOM is spit from full lips. )

                         ‘ i … i know what you are … &. i know what you’ve … what you’ve done! i work with the police - this is an arre … arrest. please … hands where i can see them, n - now! ‘

[memcirs]

"Untitled" by Fiona, posted to Tumblr on May 21. 2014

[memcirs]

@svcgry​: ❝ talking and regretting won’t get you anywhere. ❞

witcher. | accepting

                         ‘ would you rather i act instead? ‘

                         ( good doctor does not know how long she has been TRAPPED inside his estate - days &. nights passed with no boundary, still weak from her brush with OBLIVION. though in all physical senses her body has healed, her mind is PLAGUED with nightmares every time she shuts her eyes. they have begun to SEEP into her waking moments, blood &. guilt occupying every second, every thought. eleanor has not slept in two days. now she paces in front of her captor, jail warden, VAMPYR in all of his imposing, MENACING glory. eyes are bloodshot, dark crescents bruising beneath STRAINED gaze. his remark makes her stop, turning on her heel, LIPS pressed in thin line. even all these days later ANGER burns fiercely in deep blue hues, only DIMINISHED with weariness. )

                         ( she had not previously DARED to approach him, disgust &. fright forcing her to AVOID any contact at all upon first waking within the ACCURSED walls of the estate. lack of rest has worn away any APPREHENSION she may have previously maintained - CONFRONTATION was the only option. boots advance towards MONSTROUS apparition, breath short &. hot. speech is HISSED in much the same way - quiet venom dripping from tongue. )

                         ‘ all i can see is my death - the horror fills my waking moments! i would be hunting the monster who did this to me, to the others if i were not … here. so what would you have me do, hmm?! ‘

[memcirs]

witcher: the last wish starters

❝ oh, what’s the point of explaining? you wouldn’t understand anyway. ❞ ❝ don’t grin like an idiot. there’s nothing funny about it. ❞ ❝ you’re losing your reflexes. ❞ ❝ they say the wisdom of ages is to be found in fairy tales. ❞ ❝ this sword can always be drawn again, faster than you can imagine. ❞ ❝ if i’m to choose between one evil and another, then i prefer not to choose at all. ❞ ❝ i don’t have anywhere else to run. i don’t know where i could hide. ❞ ❝ i’ll fill your evenings with tales of ever more astounding events from the past few years. ❞ ❝ i killed to avoid being killed myself. ❞ ❝ the world is changing. something’s coming to an end. ❞ ❝ are you really not frightened of me? ❞ ❝ talking and regretting won’t get you anywhere. ❞ ❝ don’t come back. never come back. ❞ ❝ how much of the rumours about you are true? ❞ ❝ people like to invent monsters and monstrosities. then they seem less monstrous themselves. ❞ ❝ it’s got nothing to do with you and that’s that. ❞ ❝ you need more than words to frighten me. ❞ ❝ what’s going on here? can’t i leave you alone for a minute? ❞ ❝ there’s something not quite right with you. i can sense that. ❞ ❝ am i supposed to give you advice and teach you how to live? am i your mother or something? ❞ ❝ evil is evil. lesser, greater, middling, it’s all the same. ❞ ❝ i’m not surrounded by any vortex or fate. ❞ ❝ i was beginning to worry. you didn’t regain consciousness for so long. ❞ ❝ the forest isn’t the safest of places at night. ugly things are heard and seen. ❞ ❝ there’s a grain of truth in every fairy tale. ❞ ❝ yes, i deceived you. i’ll deceive anyone if i have to, why should you be special? ❞ ❝ you’ve made your choice. are you sure it’s the right one? ❞ ❝ for some time now i’ve had hideous dreams. ❞ ❝ virtue is rarer today than a rock dragon. ❞ ❝ i haven’t got anything sharp on me. have a look for yourself. ❞ ❝ the day will come when people will learn, and get the better of you. ❞ ❝ it would be great if the cruelty of rulers could be explained away by mutations or curses. ❞ ❝ and to think that there are people who don’t believe in destiny. ❞ ❝ if you think i feel sorry for them, then you’re wrong. ❞ ❝ you’re talking nonsense while making wise and meaningful faces. ❞ ❝ i’ll confide in you, if you like. ❞ ❝ look at you — ethics, codes of practice, morality. who are you to talk? ❞ ❝ now, that, should really be of damn little concern to you. ❞ ❝ you look as if you are already a corpse. ❞ ❝ there’s no shame in fear. ❞ ❝ what do you desire? immortality? riches? fame? power? ❞ ❝ you underestimate my strength. ❞ ❝ do you want to burden your conscience with blood and death? ❞ ❝ now it’s as quiet as a grave. ❞ ❝ i know that, deep down, you like me. ❞ ❝ don’t leave yet. stay. a few more days. ❞ ❝ don’t do unto others what you would not have them do to you. ❞ ❝ i know my fate whirls about me like water. it’s hard on my heels, following my tracks. ❞ ❝ i’d prefer you not to make any sudden movements. ❞ ❝ help me up, please. ❞ ❝ i’ve never run away from anyone and i’m not about to change my ways. ❞ ❝ it’s my problem. my life and my punishment. ❞ ❝ the fact that you’ve arrived here exactly at this time can’t be a coincidence. it’s fate. ❞ ❝ slaughter and bloodshed can be avoided. ❞ ❝ you’ve got the devil in your eyes too. ❞ ❝ nobody’s ever called me that. say it again. ❞ ❝ humanity. that’s what you want. that’s what you dream of. ❞ ❝ what’s it to you what happens to me? ❞ ❝ you do realise that a sword alone will not defeat destiny? ❞ ❝ no, nothing’s wrong. i’m fine. quite fine. ❞ ❝ stories, well, i’ve heard them too. half are either made up or exaggerated. ❞ ❝ i could go where you’re going. i could keep you company. ❞ ❝ mistakes? of course i’ve made them. ❞ ❝ enough of this, we should go. it’s already dusk. ❞ ❝ maybe it’s customary, wherever you come from, to threaten people with swords? ❞ ❝ if it goes badly, i will defend my life. ❞ ❝ go on, thrust the sword into me. ❞ ❝ has loneliness got the better of you after all? ❞ ❝ everything can be dealt with. it’s only a question of price. ❞ ❝ you know my principle: duty then pleasure. ❞ ��� i’ve never killed people for money, regardless whether it’s for a good or bad cause. and i never will. ❞ ❝ love and blood. they both possess a mighty power. ❞ ❝ i’ve got some medicine. we both need it. ❞ ❝ you’re embittered, hungry for revenge and conscious of your own powerlessness. ❞ ❝ what’s happening to you? i don’t recognise you. ❞ ❝ do you take me for a fool? ❞ ❝ i always get what i want. ❞ ❝ i manage because i have to. because i’ve no other way out. ❞ ❝ you can’t stand in the way of my happiness. ❞ ❝ to hell with destiny, oaths and irony. ❞ ❝ they hunted me like a wild animal as long as they could. until i became the hunter. ❞ ❝ i understand your hesitation, but i need an answer now. ❞ ❝ there are offers you can’t refuse, that the consequences are so terrible, and this is one of them. ❞ ❝ true evil is something you can barely imagine, even if you believe nothing can still surprise you. ❞ ❝ i’ve seen too much to laugh at things like that. ❞ ❝ maybe i’ve not had enough to drink. ❞ ❝ you may kiss my hand. ❞ ❝ don’t pull that face. it doesn’t suit either your good looks or your complexion. ❞ ❝ if i want something, i don’t dream of it. i act. ❞ ❝ are you in pain? what’s the matter? ❞ ❝ i prefer to look after others. it turns out better in the long run. ❞ ❝ you haven’t got enough strength left. ❞ ❝ bravery isn’t going to be of much use to you. ❞ ❝ it doesn’t rhyme. all decent predictions rhyme. ❞ ❝ listen. you’re starting to get on my nerves. ❞ ❝ don’t do this. i want to help you. ❞ ❝ you’re a very interesting dinner companion. ❞ ❝ i’ll avoid that place like the plague. i’ll never go back there. ❞ ❝ you’ll soon see what i’m capable of. ❞ ❝ i do like you, although i don’t know why myself. ❞ ❝ it’s got nothing to do with me. i’m just asking out of curiosity. ❞ ❝ have you never heard of a sense of responsibility and plain honesty? ❞ ❝ you’re going there because you have to, aren’t you? ❞ ❝ we are what we are, you and i. ❞ ❝ did you see…did you see that? ❞

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[memcirs]

AUTHOR. 

Christ. The knocking.

His headache jackknives white behind his eyes. Daniel’s arm jerks from over his brow, swinging out to crack the last finger of Hirsch to the floor with a clatter. He curses, rubbing his wrist, and Daniel stumbles from the tangle of covers, stepping out of the rumpled bedsheet and barely avoiding the caltrop of shattered amber glass and aged bourbon, leaking into the textured tencel. 

Whatever, he hated the fucking carpet anyway.

His eyes dart by instinct to the cracked blinds, filtering the wall in striations of sunlight. Day. Still day. Better not be another fucking Witness cluttering the jam of his door with pamphlets for salvation, he thinks. Only one knock, though? It wasn’t persistent, he’ll give it that, but he’s already upright but down one bottle, so stubbornness and momentum alone carry him downstairs, still in yesterday’s clothes. He’d kicked off his shoes somewhere along the way last night (this morning, really), and he can’t be bothered to hunt them down again.

“Hold on–” He shouts from halfway down the staircase, pausing to wrestle his belt back into place with clumsy fingers, still stiff with numbness. “Hold it! Just a sec,” 

Daniel runs a hand through his hair to tease out the worst of the bedhead, but he can’t do anything about the sour of old booze. Shit, should’ve swished his mouth with some fucking listerine, at least. But that wouldn’t have fooled anyone with half an eye, he figures again. No point disguising the fire with a splash of propane.

Daniel takes a heavy stride to the door, swings it open without a thought, and winces against the light, hissing a breath sucked behind his teeth. What time is it? Nine? Noon? It all looks the same to him, now: too fucking bright.

He’d left his glasses on the nightstand, probably, and prays retroactively he won’t find them another casualty on the floor, along with the bottle of bourbon. He squints against the sun, still bleary even if he’d had his glasses, but he still makes out the woman just fine. Well, not a Witness, then, but he’s not interested in saving the whales or the children or voting for McCloskey. That’s when he notices the binding of the book under the stack of papers in her arms. His book. Daniel’s mouth slackens for a moment, chest tightening, and feels a flash of irritation.

“Listen, lady, I know how this shit goes, but I’m not interested in talking to the press and I don’t do signings or–” 

But he knows reporters. He knows journalists and publishers and groupies. He knows she doesn’t strike him as any of them. And he wishes, not for the first time, for his goddamn glasses. What the hell are those papers?

Daniel opens the door a little wider, stepping to fill the door, his arm against the post, and reconsiders the woman with a new keenness. 

“What do you want?”

What a fucking way to sober up.

                         ( good doctor hadn’t thought this far - what to do if this ILLUSIVE author answers their door? what to say? how to explain why she SEEKS his knowledge, the account penned in his OWN words? eleanor GAPES at him, brows risen, deep blue hues wide with SHOCK. perhaps she is simply STARTLED he exists at all, any leads doctor followed usually DEAD ends. full lips open, close, open before collecting herself, clearing THROAT &. shaking auburn head. how stupid she must seem! ink-stained fingertips FIDGET with trinket about pale throat - a crucifix, simple silver, force of HABIT whenever scholar grew nervous. but she must say something - anything! )

                         ‘ i - ah … hmm. i must confess, i did not expect to actually meet you. ‘

                         ( she wants to smack herself - must she only spout pure NONSENSE &. little else?! biting bottom lip, she adjusts the documents in her grip. hers is a SCHOLARLY lean, almost stereotypically so clothed in beige linen, SCARLET curls hastily braided, golden glasses perched PRECARIOUSLY on thin, straight nose. these frames are pushed HASTILY back up features before, finally, one of her hands is free. it extends to DISHEVELED author, not without some shaky trepidation. halting, AWKWARD tones are notably accented with blunt dutch cadence. )

                         ‘ i’m dr. van helsing. i - well, i read your book … &. i know it’s not fiction. i was hoping for an exchange of information - i have a scholarly interest in such … subjects. ‘

                         ( glances are cast down either side of empty sidewalk. CLICHE, doctor knows, but not without reason. she cannot guess the extent of his ACQUAINTANCE with these creatures of the night, if written account was not EMBELLISHED. she, after all, seeks scientific PROOF for eradication study.  prussian blues NARROW back on the male to take him in fully for the first time; though the horizon begins to burn a deep UMBER at the edges its clear he has just risen. coincidence? gaze HARDENS with newfound wariness, spoken notes carrying CAUTIOUS edge. )

                         ‘ i believe it would be, ah, safer to speak inside. ‘

[memcirs]

VAMPYR. 

~~ Jerry Dandridge had disguised his brutal murders exceptionally well. Although, not always disposing of the bodies on purpose. Leaving them behind as a warning from an anonymous source that announced destruction and death on it’s way. Sure, the easiest way to not get caught was to reveal nothing at all. But, he liked observing the reactions to his finished dinners. A habit of moving from town to town, city to city, country to country. A wanderlust combined with the insatiable, mouth watering desire for blood being his huge motivator that drove him forward. Everywhere he went carved a path of corpses on his way, murdered wives and husbands–innocents strewn behind him that piled up over the centuries of his existence. Taking the guise of numerous positions and occasionally changing the name he used. He liked to stick to his true name of course. Something as small as that didn’t matter now. Not noticing the young doctor, he feasted on a young woman in the alleyway. Chest cavities rumbling quietly in an animalistic delight, mouth latched and twisting on the throat of the dead–or dying—mortal. Draining drop after drop into his mouth and allowing the red river to flow down into his patient esophagus. A horrific beast that wore the mask of a handsome man day-to-day. Now a visible vampire that inhaled essence like his last dinner.

Clatter.

His head snapped to the noise, releasing the corpse with a shuddering crack. A gurgling hiss slipping from his tongue. Inky orbs for eyes shining near lifelessly in the night. ~~

                         ( she presses herself further into brick, still warm though the sun has long since SUNK over horizon. fingertips stained with black ink still clasped over flared nostrils &. pressed lips, TEARS streaming over trembling hand. good doctor had read countless stories, read accounts both ANCIENT &. modern, but nothing compared to the absolute HORROR of the truth. some small part of her had desperately hoped her pursuit of FACT was for naught, that she had inherited the obsessive LUNACY that plagued her mother, so to see a monster so PAINFULLY human feasting on innocent flesh sent a wave of goosebumps across clammy skin. NAUSEA turns her stomach, her mouth dry as his could it be called a he? black gaze searches for her. thin form FLINCHES as corpse is dropped unceremoniously to the ground, still unable to remove quivering vision from visage dribbling CRIMSON. )

                         ( this was not the elegant, SEDUCTIVE creature portrayed in fiction - at least not here, not now. here was the BARED form of vampyr; the mask relinquished, danse macabre ceasing in this MORBID embrace. but is this not what she wanted? has she not searched for EVIDENCE just like this across the globe, to prove once &. for all these monsters walked among the LIVING, if only to ERADICATE them? irony is not entirely lost on eleanor - it is her curiosity that keeps her ROOTED in place, &. curiosity will kill the cat. )

                        ( worn boots take single slow, SILENT step towards an exit, heartbeat pounding in her ears. journal is hastily pocketed, instead wooden STAKE gripped in her hand. it quakes VIOLENTLY in her grip - deep down doctor knows she would not be able to use it, but her ANGER over this crime &. countless others she has witnessed AFTERMATH of fog any rational thought with quiet rage. another step, then another, DEEPER into shadows &. away from him, but she isn’t looking down … until glass SHATTERS underfoot. )

                         ( hunter freezes, terror SINGING in her veins, blood rushing to her head, stomach LEADEN with primal dread. all complex thought is ERADICATED, only two choices presented when reduced to the role of PREY - fight or flight. doctor chooses with CRUNCH of glass beneath boot heel. )

                         ‘ fuck it … ! ‘

                         ( utterance is barely audible, all breath SUCKED out of her being, not realizing she is moving until summer wind already WHIPS through plaited copper mane. eleanor RUNS, running knowing absolutely her life, SOUL depends on her escape. body HURTLES forward almost too quickly for feet to catch up, stumbling as terrified SOBS are swallowed down to prevent more noise, tears BLINDING vision. she does not realize she, of course, CAREENS frantically towards a dead end … )