memoryseasons

[memoryseasons]

For you, because of you, with you.

My heart beats for you. The excitement, the steadiness, the pounding— all beats for you; like a melody. A lovely melody, for you.

My heart beats beacuse of you.Heart that beats every time you praise, you tease, you heal, you care, you understand; you love.

My heart beats, with you, and the love is growing. Once, twice, three times, again and again. Love is growing, and I do love growing with you.

You, my heart, my Hayden.

[memoryseasons]

Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.

Tell me the mistakes you wish you could erase, the moments you’ve tried to bury, the parts of yourself you think no one could love.

I want to know it all—not because I need a reason to stay, but because I already know I will. I’m not afraid of your shadows or the cracks in your heart. They’re part of the story that brought you to me and I wouldn’t change a single word of it.

You don’t have to hide with me. You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. I’m not here for perfection—I’m here for you. For the way your heart still tries to love despite everything.

I’ll hold your hand through the storms of your past, and when the weight of it feels too much, I’ll remind you that you don’t have to carry it alone anymore.

ㅤ

ㅤ

[memoryseasons]

You, I put you in everything I wrote.

You, who opened suns in my heart

You, who are my chaos but also my peace

You, who give me tremendeous desire to love.

I cant think of anything but you.

My head is full of you

My heart is full of you.

You are the words in every poem that I will read all over, again and again.

ㅤㅤ

[memoryseasons]

"Everything is better with you, everything has been better since you."

I love you. Infinitely and inexpressibly. I have been woken up in the middle of the night and here I am writing this. My love, my happiness. The fairy in my own world — Our world. I love you. I fear that I may love you more than I will ever allowed to, but I love you. I love you with all my bruised heart. You were my chaos, but you are also my peace. I love you. I think I will never finish falling in love with you, my Jelly. I am the luckiest to have this kind of feeling especially its you. Fall never sound so easy before you, never sound so homey before you, never sound so bearable before you. I love you again. I love you i love you i love you.

[memoryseasons]

I Was, I Am, and I Will

I love you. I love you— and I will love you, layer by layers. Page by pages. I love to read, turning page after page to know, to understand, and to love you. I will hold all of you, keeping you safe in my arms.

Show me all the perfect, all the flaws, and I still love you. I still want to give my hand to you. The world can be scary and give you a scratch or wounds, but I promise you that my hand are made to keep you safe and not to hurt you. So take my hand, and I will always keep you close.

I want to grow with you. With all the love, all the care, all the sweet, all the things that could happen but I am with you. Together, growing with each other. I could fall, you could fall, we could fall, but I still want to fly together with you.

I want you to feel safe with me, here, in my arms. So I want you to know that despite everything, you don't have to be afraid with me. Tell me all the things about you, tell me all the things you've made, tell me all the thoughts in your head and let me let love you for who you are.

And if you want to live for me, then I will make that life is enough and warm for you. A little bit better, much better, or bearable. I'd wait in the day and night, all along with my smile and my beating heart just because I know you would come home to me. I'd come to you whenever you call my name, I'd run to you whenever you need me.

Happy 26, my love. Please don't be afraid to show your layers, your pages, because I promise that I will still love you. My Hayden, my forever love.

[memoryseasons]

And I will always choose you.

They said, "two souls don't find each other by simple accident." Benar dan salah bergantung pada persepsi dan keyakinan masing-masing. Tapi satu hal yang aku yakini, adalah aku yang memilih kakak dengan keyakinan penuh. Aku disini mencakup hati, jiwa, dan pikiran— seluruhnya aku.

Kalau aku dikasih kesempatan mengulang kembali waktu, aku akan tetap dan selalu memilih kakak; buat aku genggam dan dekap jiwanya. Terima kasih karena tanganku nggak terulur sendiri bersama angin, karena nyatanya ada tangan kakak yang menyambutnya.

Ada banyak pilihan dalam hidup, tapi aku mau tetep milih kakak apapun keadaannya. Di hari-hari yang akan datang, aku pun, mau selalu, memilih kakak.

Juni, Juli, Agustus, September. Aku selalu ngabisin waktu sama kakak di akhir atau pertengahan bulan ya? Tapi mulai bulan ini, di tanggal Satu September ini, aku udah bisa bareng sama kakak sejak awal.

Selamat tanggal satu, buat nomor satuku. 💗 Aku seneng karena aku bisa mulai bulan baru ini sama kakak— dan bakalan sama kakak terus! 🥹

Aku mau ngejalanin September ini sama kakak, ngisi baaanyak kenangan indah sama kakak. Mau ya? Nggak cuman bulan September aja sih, tapi save it for later aja soalnya ini edisi September! Aku berharap, September bisa bawa banyak hal yang baik buat aku, buat kakak, dan buat kita berdua.

Aku tau bulan ini kakak bakalan sibuk, mungkin kakak bakalan banyak begadang, dan mungkin kakak bakalan capek karena siapa yang nggak capek kalau harus kerja terus?

Tapi kakak, sebagaimana aku nemuin nyaman, tenang, dan tempat pulangku di kakak dari setiap baik buruknya hari: aku berharap kakak juga bisa nemu hal-hal tersebut di aku ya? Aku selalu disini, ada terus buat kakak. Kalau kakak butuh aku temenin, aku bakalan temenin kakak. Kalau kakak butuh tempat cerita, aku bakalan dengerin kakak. Kalau kakak butuh rehat sejenak sambil nonton yang mau kakak tonton, aku mau kok ikut kakak nonton.

Apapun, apapun yang kakak mau aku bakal berusaha buat wujudinnya ya? Jadi walau September S-nya Sibuk dan Sulit, kakak tetep bisa ngerasa seneng dan nemuin hal yang indah di dalamnya ya? We are on this together, jadi aku nggak bakalan ninggalin kakak sendirian. I love you, kakak.

Selamat mengukir September bersamaku, kakak sayang.

Yang akan selalu memilih kakak,

Sayangnya kakak. <3

[memoryseasons]

I am not dream of you, I pray about you; chapter 3.

I am not dream of you, karena aku bukan Haohao buat Hanbinnya di The Sun Prince. Bukan juga karena aku nggak sayang kakak, karena kakak juga pasti tau kalau aku sayang banget sama kakak.

Tapi karena aku Jelly buat Kak Haidannya. Aku Jelly, yang mau lantunin banyak harap buat kakaknya, Haidannya. Aku Jelly, yang bisikin banyak doa dalam hatinya buat kakaknya, Haidannya. I pray about you, and I will pray for you.

Karena aku sayang kakak. Karena aku mau sayangku abadi selalu buat kakak. Karena aku berdoa supaya bisa terus ngeliat kakak, sama kakak, dan semua baik-baiknya dunia buat kakak.

I want to be your seasons. Yang mekar dan menghangatkan layaknya musim semi. Yang mencerahkan selayaknya musim panas.

And I want to be with you in every season. Yang bisa buatin kakak cokelat panas di musim dingin. Yang bisa pegang tangan kakak di musim gugur. Dan yang bisa temenin kakak ngelewatin musim bahagia dan sedih yang silih berganti— di musim yang terang juga gelap seperti pergantian hari— di musim senang maupun sulit karena hidup nggak selamanya mudah— di musim apapun, sama kakak, di samping kakak.

𓇼ˎˊ˗‧₊˚.⸝⸝❀˖°⋆｡⭒. ⋆ .⭒𖦹⋆˚｡⋆ 𐦍 .ೃ࿔*:･𓇼ˎˊ˗‧₊❀˖°⋆｡⭒. 𖦹

Aku punya banyak cinta, yang mungkin sulit buat diterima banyak orang, tapi selalu kakak terima dengan lembutnya. Aku punya banyak cinta, tapi aku juga bisa dapet banyak cinta dari kakak. I love you. I love you. I love you. I will keep it close, in my heart, my mind, and my soul.

I will tell the wind about you; kalau kakak adalah hal paling menyejukkan yang pernah ada.

I will tell the stars about you; kalau kakak adalah yang paling bersinar di mataku.

I will tell the ocean about you; kalau kakak sama menenangkannya kayak laut.

I will tell the sky about you; kalau setiap aku ngeliat langit, aku cuman mau ngerasa ada di bawah langit yang sama kayak kakak.

I will tell the world about you; kalau kakak adalah yang terbaik yang pernah aku punya.

I always find peace in you. Oh thank god I found you; my peace, my treasure, my soulmate. And Taylor Swift was right; no one's ever had me, not like you. Life, laugh, love Haidan Sebastien.

Yours always,

Jelly Sebastien. <3