menacingbananut

[menacingbananut]

Damn, I be collecting these porn bot accounts like they're pokemon. Hope I capture a NuHoeslian next.

[menacingbananut]

Hold on, Tumblr has sex bots? I thought this place was to niche to have sex bots...

Well, since you're following me lemme tell you how to make a bomb!

[menacingbananut]

Y'know, out of all the things to sexualize on a human body I'm genuinely surprised nobody got horny over hands.

[menacingbananut]

You know you're living in 2022 when the President of Japan got fucking murked in broad daylight by a man who made a Electric 9 barrel shotgun & Nobody batted an eye.

[menacingbananut]

Writing Prompt: You awaken in an ambulance speeding towards a hospital. You have no idea what happened but the throbbing pain in your head won't stop. As you try to get up, a deep bellowing voice inside your head says, "Don't move, friend. You shot yourself in the head & almost died. Just give me a moment to heal your wound."

[menacingbananut]

Y'know if I ever go full Morphin & become a transgender, I'm gonna go with my old name cuz NOT ONLY would I have the ability to call people out & say "Stop Dead naming me! My name's not (Insert Name), it's (Insert Same Name) !"

It's also the name my mama called me & I love my mama.

[menacingbananut]

The main reason why I ask questions to random strangers & not google it isn't because I wanna see who's the smartest person in the room in case a zombie apocalypse starts & I need to recruit you to go on a dangerous death-defying journey to conjure the cure. It's because I wanna talk to someone.

[menacingbananut]

I was walking down the block, enjoying the weather, & I see this. Looks like he sees the sins of humanity & wish to not exist.

[menacingbananut]

& I shit you not, Arthur, it'll be called "Scooby Doo: Scare Scam" & it will ROCK the box office. People will love it~!

a ghost and a house-flipping exorcist run a real estate scam wherein they temporarily decrease local property values through mischievous hauntings

[menacingbananut]

Just to be clear, I wasn't high or anything. I think I was generally possessed by Shakespeare for a moment when I saw this forg.

"What is life, but a worthless adventure? What is existence if not a constant symphony of suffering & death? Does the universe end, or does it continue like a wheel, endlessly rotating?I search for answers & end up empty handed... Why were we created in a flawed world?

For God, who abandoned us & leave us at his holy divine gates to fend against the hungry wolves?

For Glory, so that our names could be etched into the stars?

No, I believe in neither...Neither God nor Glory will ever save us from the oncoming storm. So, I beseech thee, don't let the siren's taunting wails drape you into a slumber & pull you into the endless void of despair. Instead, smile like it would be your last. Smile with your brethren, with your family, with strangers, with anyone. Keep that flame burning bright, for when the eternal wheel stops & the nights grow long & cold...keep the light safe from the icy grips of darkness."

[menacingbananut]

I think Sex Ed peeked when "Nintendo Power: Safe Sex is the Best" and it just went downhill from there. It's stomps on the gas & doesn't stop till it ends & Ifucking love how Mario's voice actor tries so hard to be Italian and Luigi's just:

"HELLO MARIO. HI, MY NAMES LUIGI & TODAY WE'RE GOING TO BE LEARNING ABOUT PUBERTY & ITS MANY EFFECTS."

[menacingbananut]

21 years. Before, I heard only the tweets of birds & smelled the freshness of the flowers. Now, all I can hear is the maddening ticking of sand, ever so slowly draining from Death's hourglass. All these years, of pain & pleasure, of sorrow & happiness, I only have one question:

WHY TF ARE VIDEO GAMES STILL 60 FUCKING DOLLARS?!

[menacingbananut]

I will never get the fucking Danganronpa fandom at all & I was a hormonal teenager at that time. It's basically a Discount Japanese Clue Game but everyone in it was drawn straight out of a Surrealism Art Piece. It's so out of this world stupid...but I can't stop myself from looking it up. It's like explosives : Sure, it's a big ball of fire, chaos & death & I really shouldn't use it all the time & people who are obsessed with it are at the edge of psychopathy, but it's so mesmerizing when it DOES go off.

[menacingbananut]

I love how there's so many different fandoms Tumblr has here. Like, there's the SuperWholock Fandom, the D&D Fandom, the...uh...im gonna guess, Lovecraftian Horrors Fandom. I bet you that i could summon anyone from any fandom with just a few words! Watch:

"To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day"

[menacingbananut]

Yo, why does eleven & twelve sound unique while the rest (thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, ect.) are just the number with the word "-teen" or "-tey" at the end?

[menacingbananut]

Anyone remember "Escape" by Robert Holmes?

"If you like penis coladas

And gettin' caught in the rain

If you're not into yoga

If you have half a brain

If you like makin' love at midnight

In the dunes on the cape

Then I'm the love that you've looked for

Write to me and escape"

[menacingbananut]

I just realized that the joke "Why 6 come after 7? Because, 7 8 9!" is a play-on-words for "7 ate 9"

Life's crazy, man!