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Perhaps unrelated, but spending time with a homeless person won't make you homeless. Spending time with disabled people won't make you disabled. And yet people tend to shy away from those on the margins, hoping that it might fend off the 🙄*horrible terrible fate* 🙄 that usually comes down to either privilege or chance.

So like, it's obvious to me reading the comments on my post that anti-porn people are largely like, afraid of porn. Like the concept of a sex video is really spooky to them. They're not making thoughtful critiques of the porn industry, which is genuinely a really fucked up industry, they're mostly just spooked by the concept of a sex video and what it could Do To You If You See It.

I said this in another post, but it's like, the difference between "a ton of coffee is produced using slave labor" (valid, important criticism of the coffee industry) and "coffee turns people into raving coffee addicts who forget how to interact with anyone because they're so obsessed with their coffee" (objectively not true, insane viewpoint).

It's literally just sex videos. They really cannot hurt you.

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[person 500 years ago knitting a sock] O Sister Margaret, regale me again with the tale of Vicar Wesley's scandalous elopement with the baker's daughter!

[me today knitting a sock] O Youtuber Hbomberguy, regale me again with the tale of SHERLOCK IS GARBAGE, AND HERE'S WHY

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hey look you don’t have to be unanxious but you do have to live your life. do it anxious

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Source

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ANHEDONIA REMEDIES!

GET YOUR ANHEDONIA REMEDIES HERE!

if you are lost in the rut, i am begging you to read this essay by Sasha Chapin suggesting what, essentially, my take, are potential jump-starts back into living life in real time. like actually experiencing experiences

do it now! don’t lose months, years, or decades! there is a life beyond doomscrolling, and it’s finite (sorry. sorry. i know okay)

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My new dude coworker is exactly fine. Significant improvement over the last two dudes we added to the team who were both godawful. I first met him a decade ago and had marked him down points for saying he didn’t believe there was a pay gap between men and women. But since then he’s gotten married and has definitely done some growing.

However. One day he comes in and starts telling me and our other coworker about how someone called him racist on Facebook. “I don’t hate black people!” he said in outrage.

I looked at our actually black coworker who was sitting there ignoring him, staring fixedly at her phone watching a movie. I sighed. He clearly wanted to be reassured by our coworker that he was in the clear.

“Look,” I said, “What that person meant is you have unexamined privelege. White people can be racist without being malicious because they don’t understand what people of color experience. You might have been racist in that moment without meaning to be.”

He did not like this sentiment. He wanted to be told he was a good white boy and forget about it. I desperately did not want to discuss color privelege like a couple of clowns with our black coworker sitting right there ignoring us but he wouldn’t be dropping it any time soon.

So I pivoted to personal experience, “I’m gay, right?” He nodded. “And as a queer person I’ve had people be homophobic without being malicious.”

“How does that even work? If someone’s homophobic they’re a dick.” This from a man who implied all anal sex was a queer act.

“No, see. This one morning at the jewelry store we were setting up for the day and putting jewelry on display and I was listening to my coworker talk about something shitty that had happened to her. Then another dude goes, ‘Oh that’s gay.’ And he didn’t mean it in a shitty way, but it was still blatantly homophobic to equate something being bad with the word gay, right?

“So I made eye contact and just stared at him. He realized he had a gay coworker right there and that his words were hurtful and immediately apologized.

“But he wasn’t trying to shit on me. He was homophobic in that one instance, but he wasn’t trying to be. Being white is the same way sometimes. You’re a dick on accident and you apologize and it was a racist moment that you grow past because it doesn’t define you.”

He turned this over a bit and conceded that it might be true but he didn’t like being called a racist which is bad and I just kinda checked out after that.

When he’d gone away I turned to my Jamaican coworker and said, “You really put up with a lot.”

She snorted and nodded emphatically, adding, “I’m just watching my movie, you can take care of him.”

As penance I entertained him for the rest of shift to let her watch her movie in peace.

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Let all cats old enough to lose their parents health insurance gather in the breakroom for a 30 minute unpaid lunch

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No transphobes allowed, only transborbs.

Check out my stuff!

✧Read Namesake✧ ✧Read Crow Time✧ ✧Store✧ ✧Patreon✧

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Turns out, Optimism is critical for societal wellbeing.

Ok, loves, so we've all got the message that joking about suicide is bad for your mental health. Now we need to get on "joking that the planet/all of humanity has no future is bad for societal health/encouraging resistance to bad shit."

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some alternative eras of lady normalgirl and her eunuch <3

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Emotional Walls Your Character Has Built (And What Might Finally Break Them)

(How your character defends their soft core and what could shatter it) Because protection becomes prison real fast.

✶ Sarcasm as armor. (Break it with someone who laughs gently, not mockingly.) ✶ Hyper-independence. (Break it with someone who shows up even when they’re told not to.) ✶ Stoicism. (Break it with a safe space to fall apart.) ✶ Flirting to avoid intimacy. (Break it with real vulnerability they didn’t see coming.) ✶ Ghosting everyone. (Break it with someone who won’t take silence as an answer.) ✶ Lying for convenience. (Break it with someone who sees through them but stays anyway.) ✶ Avoiding touch. (Break it with accidental, gentle contact that feels like home.) ✶ Oversharing meaningless things to hide real depth. (Break it with someone who asks the second question.) ✶ Overworking. (Break it with forced stillness and the terrifying sound of their own thoughts.) ✶ Pretending not to care. (Break it with a loss they can’t fake their way through.) ✶ Avoiding mirrors. (Break it with a quiet compliment that hits too hard.) ✶ Turning every conversation into a joke. (Break it with someone who doesn’t laugh.) ✶ Being everyone’s helper. (Break it when someone asks what they need, and waits for an answer.) ✶ Constantly saying “I’m fine.” (Break it when they finally scream that they’re not.) ✶ Running. Always running. (Break it with someone who doesn’t chase, but doesn’t leave, either.) ✶ Intellectualizing every feeling. (Break it with raw, messy emotion they can’t logic away.) ✶ Trying to be the strong one. (Break it when someone sees the weight they’re carrying, and offers to help.) ✶ Hiding behind success. (Break it when they succeed and still feel empty.) ✶ Avoiding conflict at all costs. (Break it when silence causes more pain than the truth.) ✶ Focusing on everyone else’s healing but their own. (Break it when they hit emotional burnout.)

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People who don’t want to read The Martian in case the science is too complicated should be informed that it contains the lines “The best way to store the ingredients of water is to make them be water”, “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft”, and “If I cut a hole in the wall of the hab, the air won’t stay inside any more”.

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— Nikita Gill

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“what radicalised you?” basic empathy

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