messymotherfcker

[messymotherfcker]

[messymotherfcker]

You are absolutely allowed to grieve for the childhood you should have had but didn't. You are allowed to grieve for the things you missed out on. You are allowed to be angry, hurt or any number of things.

I hope that you are able to give yourself some of those experiences now, even if they seem 'silly', but that doesn't erase that you should have had them when you were a child. You should have received so much comfort, love and care. You deserved better.

[messymotherfcker]

Please tell me what to do to become human again.

[messymotherfcker]

hey if you’re chronically ill or if you don’t have a disability but you’re struggling with your health lately (be it mental or physical) please consider that the thing making you so tired is your illness, so if someone says you’re being lazy, just remember they do not live with your body and they don’t get to tell you how much rest or medical help you need. listen to your body and take some time to take care of yourself. resting is recovering, it’s not laziness. being sick is exhausting. it’s fatigue, it’s not laziness. and someone else saying that it is doesn’t change your reality, so please don’t second guess yourself because you’re feeling guilty for having to take time off to rest. you deserve to rest as much as you can and to feel a little better.

[messymotherfcker]

I think that if you actually loved me, you wouldn't have done the things that you did

[messymotherfcker]

the urge to never eat again and the urge to eat the whole kitchen and the urge to overdose on pills all on a wrestling match inside my brain after each minor inconvenience

[messymotherfcker]

[messymotherfcker]

The Reckonings: Essays | Lacy M. Johnson

[messymotherfcker]

[messymotherfcker]

Can we please start romanticizing knowing and accommodating your limits instead of romanticizing pushing yourself to the point of burnout and illness? Like being able to stay within the frames of what your brain and body can actually handle isn't laziness, it's a vital skill that more people should practice even as this society makes it hard.

[messymotherfcker]

[messymotherfcker]

i want to get blackout drunk so it’s easier to kill myself

[messymotherfcker]

i feel like i‘ve lost my spark and trying to get it back is fucking exhausting

[messymotherfcker]

learning that addiction is a progressive narrowing of the range of things that make one happy was kinda life changing for me. i apply it to everything not even just addiction i am always checking to ask if i am narrowing my range of happiness or widening it

[messymotherfcker]

I've survived but at what cost

[messymotherfcker]

I tell everybody im good cause wtf they going to do if I’m not

[messymotherfcker]

switching from fine to depressed and/or near suicidal like a traffic light 😭