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mia-samaaa · 1 year ago

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Hi Detective, what did you think of Movie 26?

Movie 26 (Black Iron Submarine) Review

Raw feelings:

I'm completely speechless by this movie. It was way beyond any of my minimal expectations. It was extremely good!

I was baffled out of pure disbelief at how much main plot stuff they were revealing in this movie to the point that my brain fried. You could immediately feel that it was a movie you needed to rewatch multiple times in order to fully digest and appreciate its greatness. It was pure fanservice in the best way possible, not the botched M20 way, where fanservice scenes didn't feel earned, mystery being completely gone and main plot/cast characters getting sidelined. Everyone had their moment to shine.

After 15 years, I get a DC movie that finally topped M13 as my new all-time favorite DC movie. I was so thoroughly satisfied that I couldn't help but clap at the end.

Haibara (Sherry)

Haibara truly shined in this movie. Not only did she have proactive role in rescuing herself, Naomi and later Conan, but her personal romantic feelings, childhood past and current relationships with her dear friends were further fleshed out. I was floored by the degree that she got exposed, to the point of the OG antagonist Vodka standing right in front of her next to Pinga, ready to kidnap her, and then later interrogating her about her identity.

I truly adore how the movie also revealed what started the bullying she went through in America (protecting her fellow half-japanese) and how Naomi's story complimented Haibara's childhood. It was a beautiful touch having Haibara's childhood classmate Naomi realizing Haibara's true identity by the end of the movie.

I also love how the movie depicted how highly Haibara viewed Conan/Shinichi and his protective reassuring face. It was cute seeing her face light up with happiness when he showed up. I was shocked, but also very appreciative of how respectful she was trying to be of Shinichi's relationship with Ran (more than the fandom clearly) that she went to the degree of passing on her CPR kiss with Conan to Ran.

Mizunashi (Kir)

Kir was one of the big standouts in this movie. You could truly feel the shift in spotlight focus between her and Bourbon, seeing as Bourbon was truly put in the backburner for Kir to get more shine, and it was perfectly handled and a true overdue for her (since she has been neglected in the franchise overall). I couldn't stop grinning and appreciate her nonchalant stunts to aid in Haibara's escape by pretending to not know how to open the exit tube in the submarine so Vodka could thoroughly explain it as Haibara overhears everything through the transmitter.

I especially loved her less indirect and confrontational move towards Gin, when she directly interferred with his murder attempt of Haibara & Naomi, and how she calmly talked back at Gin when he aimed the gun at her. She was a true badass worthy of her NOC title, that I've longed to see in the series, only to get it in this wonderful movie.

Pinga

I really enjoyed Pinga's role in the movie as well, and especially appreciated how he wasn't written to be similar to Irish and Curacao (who had a more sympathetic antagonist development) but rather to be a more selfish greedy psychopath with more ambition than Gin, but less talented. It was interesting to learn how he was deep undercover as an engineer for interpol since 5 years back while disguised as a woman.

I especially enjoyed seeing his fights with Ran, and how she became a troublesome enemy for him (giving Ran good spotlight like in M13), as well as how Conan straight up shit-talked to him while giving Gin praise in comparison, to the point of riling Pinga up.

Vermouth

Vermouth was the true MVP in this movie. She had such a central role in saving Haibara from the organization's suspicion. It was extremely exciting to see Vermouth immediately sensing the potential of Naomi's All-age Recognition System (ARS) and how it could expose the boss identity and whereabouts, but more importantly to her, expose Shinichi's shrinking, that she'd rather keep hidden like a pandora's box. I was shocked and loved how she manipulated the Boss into giving her the order to destroy the ARS for his own sake, when she in reality wanted to not only conceal the current APTX shrinking effects from him, but also protect Shinichi. The way she used her disguising skills to invalidate the ARS' accuracy was just a genius move by her.

The biggest surprise to me was how she was revealed to be the old woman from the start in disguise, who was given the sale ticket for a Fusae brand brooch by Haibara out of selfless kindness, and how Vermouth was basically revealed to also be repaying that kindness back to Haibara by protecting her from the BO, further deepening her motivations and multi-faceted nature in such a beautiful way as she gazes at the confused Silver Bullet (Conan) who is questioning them after getting Bourbon's intel.

Rum & Karasuma Renya

The Biggest shocker in this whole movie was without a doubt the big reveal that Rum, the no.2 of the Black Organization, is unaware of the Boss' whereabouts in recent times and that, apart from having Pinga request Naomi to sell the ARS to them so they can modify it and also use it to erase the BO's activities in security cameras (according the boss' orders), had intended to use the ARS to locate Karasuma Renya (the Boss).

This was a huge bombshell reveal, yet to be revealed in the manga, that further clarified the current ongoings within the organization. It basically as good as confirmed that the Boss is hiding a de-aged form from his subordinates (including his very close associate, Rum) and that no one other than Vermouth is aware of his hidden whereabouts. This revelation is further supporting my "Child of seven (Nanatsu no ko)" theory (the Boss being a shrunken 7-year-old who is only contacting his subordinates through phone to hide his child appearance and maintain authority). This also further established a distrustful relationship between Karasuma Renya and Rum, seeing as the Boss has kept Rum out of the loop, and how Rum has persisted to locate the Boss against his wishes, creating a very small divide within the organization's power structure. This is extremely exciting for the future of the series and has gotten me very hyped for what's left of Rum's development in the Rum climax.

Conclusion

This movie was overall a 10/10 product, that gave all the fans outstanding fanservice. Conan's devotion to save Haibara, Ran's supportive contribution to the point of almost getting shot, Agasa's deeply moving heartfelt tears after Haibara's kidnapping, Kuroda's helpful backing of Conan, Bourbon's informational support and Akai's loyal aid in taking down the submarine were all just the tip of the iceberg. All the beautiful callbacks to canon events were also among the best of the fanservice. I especially loved Haibara's callback to how a child (Ayumi) had once changed her life through their actions (File 437), Pisco kidnapping her despite wearing glasses (File 240), Ran reminding Haibara of Akemi (like in File 434), Kir's callback to her father sacrificing himself for her in response to Naomi's cry (File 604) and all the moments Haibara recalled when Conan comforted and moved her (Bus hijack, Haibara intro, Reunion, etc).

Gosho's involvement in the story was clearly noticeable, just by the sheer quality of the movie, and all of his many drawn keyframes were beautiful.

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mia-samaaa · 2 years ago

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It Has Always Been You, Chapter 6

Shinichi took part in the class reunion, which hadn't gone as he had thought of: His mother and Sonoko had claimed that he still loved Ran was the most ridiculous thing, and even if that's not enough, his old classmates had taken him to the nightclub and finally Ran had taken him to the dancefloor. Though he had had fun and finally remembered every detail that he had loved in Ran…

A/N: Happy New Year to everyone ❤ Without any other words, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Chapter 6: Acceptance

Those blue eyes…

They were still so beautiful, so captivating. Ran could have stared at them the whole day without getting tired of them. They were something that Ran wanted just to drown in. She had forgotten how soft and yet firm his hands were around her, she had forgotten how safe she still felt in his arms, how comfy it was to feel him close to her…

And she felt him coming closer to her. That same, familiar warmth that she had always felt while being near to him, calling her closer, asking her attention. She felt his breath mixing with hers and those same butterflies started to fly around her stomach the same way as when they kissed for the first time. She couldn’t wait to feel his lips, after…

And it all disappeared so fast, leaving Ran in the cold. Confused she opened her eyes, meeting Shinichi’s terrified face. She frowned. What was…

And only then she realised what she had done. And she stepped away from him.

“I… I’m… I…” She tried to say something, but somehow any word didn’t come out. She looked away, trying to avoid those blue eyes that were looking at her. She just couldn’t meet his eyes and… and…

What were you thinking?! Trying to kiss a man who was in a relationship with someone else, who is going to be married one day? From all the people she, who had always been loyal and thought that she would never seduce anyone who would be in a relationship or be a part of someone’s cheating, was here, trying to kiss him! He who she knew was also loyal, kind-hearted, someone who would never cheat.

What in the world was she doing?!

“I… Just… I need to go to the bathroom”, she said fast and turned around, walking fast to the closest toilets. She just needed to get away, away from him, away from those blue eyes. She needed time, needed to be alone, and… and…

She just opened the first door and went inside, locking the door behind her. Yet, she avoided the mirror, looking only at the sink until she got closer and opened the tap. She just couldn’t face herself.

She was so ashamed.

She lowered and washed her face with cold water. She knew she was ruining her makeup, but she needed it, she really needed it. She needed to shape up, get hold of herself, and… and…

And yet it made her feel only worse, and it was because somehow all those per milles that she had had, felt like they were washed away too. It made her only more aware of what she had done.

You stupid, what were you thinking? She couldn’t answer for it. She really couldn’t. She didn’t have any idea what she had thought or how in the world she had dared to try to kiss him.

God, who was she trying to kid? All the thoughts that had been in her head in that moment had probably been how handsome he had looked. Again, she had fallen into those beautiful blue eyes, into that irresistible smile, let herself lull in his soft voice, wrapped herself in those strong and safe arms. She had let herself fall again under his charm and somehow forgot that he was engaged to someone else. She had let her guard down and lost that control that she had had.

Or had she had any? She started to doubt it. When it came to him, maybe she had never had any kind of control. And even a thought of that made her desperate. Why she hadn’t realised it? Why she had thought that she could still spend some time with him like in high school? How she had thought that it wouldn’t affect her in any way, even when she had known that she still had feelings for him? If she had been so shocked about hearing him having a fiancee, how she had thought that she could still be with him as a friend?

Maybe that idea had only been there because she had been so sad about the truth that tomorrow he would be gone again. She had been so sad about the truth that she had met probably the most important person in her life again, after five years, and her heart would have a big hole just because he would be gone again. All she had thought had probably been that she would want to spend as much time with him as she could before losing him again.

It seemed to be a mistake. And now she had destroyed that little what they have had. She wouldn’t be surprised if… if…

And when she raised her face, looking at herself from the mirror, she saw tears flooding on her cheeks.

This whole class reunion has been a mistake.

Shinichi just stood there, staring at the empty place in front of him. For a moment ago, Ran had been there, but now she was gone and he wasn’t even sure where.

And all his feelings were mixed up together, and he wasn’t even sure where to start or what to think.

What to think? Well, that was a good question. Because what in the hell was he thinking? For a moment he had just danced with Ran, having fun, laughing with her, but in another second he had caught himself trying to kiss her. Why? Why?! He would never cheat on his love with anyone, not for any reason, because that wasn’t right! Because that was something that he wouldn’t want to be done to him either. When there had been problems or doubts or something, he had always talked about them with another one. Because he believed that talking before doing anything unforgivable was the better option.

And yet, here he was. He had forgotten his fiancée and almost kissed someone else. And what was the most unbearable thought was the truth that he hadn’t thought about Julia, not even for a moment. Not until he had almost touched Ran’s lips.

Why he hadn’t realised it sooner? Why hadn’t he stopped earlier? Where had he even got the urge to kiss her so suddenly?

“You still love her.”

No, I don’t…

“I don’t think you really let go of Ran-chan.”

Shinichi closed his eyes and shook his head trying to get those words out from his head. He did let go of Ran, right? He really did! The reason why he left was to give him more time to move on and leave her behind, and… and…

Why did he still feel like a loser? Like he was just lying to himself?

Shinichi opened his eyes and raised his left hand enough to look at the engagement ring. He loved Julia. He really did. He had meant it when he had asked her to marry him. But…

But.

Shinichi let out a heavy sigh and turned to leave. He glanced at tables where all his high school classmates were, having fun, and for a moment he hoped that he could be there with them. He kind of wished that he would have stayed with them, being as carefree as they were right now. Laughing with them sounded a much better option than fighting with his feelings and thoughts.

Just forgot how - again - he had just messed up his life.

It was his time to leave before anything else would become more complicated. And part of him wanted to say goodbyes to them, because after tomorrow, he wasn’t sure when he would meet or hear about those people again, but he was also pretty sure that they would try to make him stay longer. And right now, he wasn’t really in the mood to fight with them. So he avoided their tables as much as possible and left without saying anything. It was a little chill outside, but he still decided to walk: the hotel wasn’t that far, and he needed a little time to think about what he was going to do.

Because that was sure that he needed to talk with Julia. But then what?

He felt lost. As lost as he felt after the breakup with Ran.

Well, maybe the first step was to finally admit the truth. And even though he didn’t like it - and even less because it seemed that his mother and Sonoko had realised it sooner than him - it was the truth. After what had happened, he just couldn’t lie to himself anymore.

He still loved Ran. He loved her more than anything. More than Julia.

But what would happen next? What he would do with that truth?

As long as he was in love with Ran, he knew that he wouldn’t be worth Julia. It wouldn’t be fair for her that he would dream about someone else. He wasn’t even sure if he could live with Julia in the same way as he had done at this point. He couldn’t give all his love to her, as much as he would like to. Because a big part of it belonged still to Ran, and as long as he was still clinging to Ran, he couldn’t be there for Julia.

But could he get over Ran? He wasn’t sure anymore. Even for a few days ago, he was sure that he was over her. God, it could have been thought that after five years he would have gotten over her and lost his romantic feelings for her, but joke on him, there he was, proving himself wrong! And if he hadn’t gotten over her over five years while trying to work on it, how he could do it now? How many five years he would need more?

Because even though his mother applied something else, he was still pretty sure that he had done everything to get over Ran. Even though it had hurt, he had finally opened up and talked about his feelings and their breakup with other people, including Julia. And every time it had made him feel better, but it seemed that any of that hadn’t really taken away his feelings or changed them. The only reason - probably - why he hadn’t felt like this, was because he hadn’t seen or heard about Ran in a long time. He had kind of moved her aside, “forgot” her, lived in his little bubble, and pretended to be happy and in love with someone else. And now that bubble had been pierced.

So he wasn’t sure if going back to America and trying to be with Julia was a very good option. Not if he couldn’t get over Ran. Which kind of left him with one other option.

He would break up with Julia.

He would do the same that Ran did to him over five years ago.

Well, he should talk with Julia before making any harsh decision, and to be honest, he didn’t feel good about this, but deep down he already knew his decision. He even hated that one, but he also knew that it would be the better - both of them. He was madly in love with someone else and Julia deserved better. He couldn’t promise to get over Ran if he wasn’t even sure he could do that.

But if he broke up with Julia, what would he do then?

Shinichi stopped in front of the hotel where they were staying and looked at its front. Even though he knew that the first thing was to talk with Julia, he still felt so lost. Even though he knew deep down that breaking up with Julia was probably the most reasonable solution, he still didn’t like it. He still remembered how it had hurt when Ran had told him about her decision, and to be honest, he didn’t like to hurt anyone ever again.

But if he didn’t get over Ran, he would hurt Julia anyway. He would always hurt her.

Shinichi let out a sigh. Well, he was probably thinking this too much. It was almost midnight and Julia was probably sleeping already. His chance to talk to her would be in the morning. And that made him feel uneasy because part of him would have liked to get over this as soon as possible, but at the same time, maybe this would give him more time to prepare.

Though he wasn’t sure how he could prepare for it. Could anyone be ready for a talk like that? And he was pretty sure that these thoughts and feelings wouldn’t let him sleep.

The hotel’s doors opened and he stepped inside. Somehow his feet felt heavier and his walk just slowed before he stopped middle of the lounge. He felt like he wasn’t ready to go to their room, not at all. He lowered his head, looking at the floor.

Part of him wanted to turn to his parents and talk about this whole mess. He knew that they probably couldn’t help him, but maybe he just wanted to talk about this with someone, get it out of his chest, and maybe they could give him some kind of advice or something. But he didn’t feel very proud of himself right now, and even though he knew his parents would be kind and wouldn’t judge him - and it probably wouldn’t surprise them that he still loved Ran -, he still felt like they would be ashamed of him. He knew that he was wrong, but he couldn’t help it.

But if he would stay alone, he would just feel guilty about the whole mess he had made. And he wasn’t sure if he could just go to their room and lie down beside Julia like nothing had happened. That would probably only make him feel more guilty.

Maybe he just should turn to his parents. They would understand, right? And even the idea, of spending the whole night alone with these thoughts…

“Shinichi!”

And even if he wanted to say that voice was the best thing he knew, hearing it made him feel sick. He hadn’t waited to hear that voice this soon. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hoping that he wouldn’t vomit right there.

He wasn’t ready for this.

Yet he opened his eyes and raised his head to see, how Julia ran to him, looking surprised, but happy. Her hair was in a bun and she had a nice dress and high heels, and Shinichi was pretty sure that she had been in the hotel’s restaurant with his parents.

And even though he had a moment ago wondered if he should speak with his parents, now he started to hope that they wouldn’t come out to witness that exact moment when their only son was going to mess up everything he had.

And it was enough that Julia was there, smiling happily and those bright eyes looking at him. It just made everything harder. Even though he knew that it would be best just to tell her everything, he hated to be the one who would swipe that happiness away from her.

But whatever he would do, he would make her life just miserable.

“Hey, darling”, she greeted him in English, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. Shinichi hugged her back even though that little gesture felt also so wrong. “I thought you would be back later”, she continued before kissing him on the cheek and moving a little away to meet his face. “How…” Yet, that question died there while that happiness changed into a worried look. “Is… everything okay?”

And Shinichi let his hands drop, making her take a step away from him. Yet, he observed those light blue eyes and thought about this one last time. She was nice and kind, energetic, he liked her. Not strong-willed but loving. He genuinely loved her, he really did…

But not as much as he loved Ran. She was strong-willed, had her own mind, and dared to say what she was thinking, didn’t turn around because he said so. Her touch was soft, her orchid-colored eyes special, and her smile the most beautiful. With her, everything was easy, comforting… She made his head pound, she made him stare at her, wanting to memorize all details of her, every shape of her, observe her every movement, learn her every mood, every expression, every…

She was still the mystery that attracted him. The mystery he wanted to investigate, learn…

And Julia could never be that close.

And even though he would go back to America with her, trying to forget Ran again… It wouldn’t be fair to her.

Julia deserved better. Better than this.

Better than him.

“Shinichi?”

“I… I almost kissed her.”

“Wh… what?”

Shinichi closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, before meeting her eyes again. They were mixed in confusion, but at the same time, he could see a hint of sadness and hurt.

“Ran”, he said finally. “I… I almost kissed her.”

And seeing how that confusion changed into sadness and hurt, he knew she had understood where he was going with this. He wanted to say something, but he had no words. He didn’t feel good just to tell her that it was over, but at the same time, he didn’t want to say out loud that he still loved Ran.

“So… You still love her?”

Well, she said it. And looking at those eyes made Shinichi feel pretty bad. Over five years ago, he had looked at different colored eyes that looked exactly the same, and back then, even though the situation had been a little different, he had hoped that he wouldn’t be the reason for those hurt and sad eyes, but it seemed that he couldn’t do anything else than bring misery.

He dropped his eyes because he just couldn’t look at her any longer. “I do”, he admitted. “More than anything”, he added before he could stop himself.

“Why?”

The question made Shinichi raise his head to look at her. She looked angry. “Why?” she repeated. “Why do you still love her that much? After all this time? God, she was the one who threw you away, she was the one who broke your heart! She was the one who left you and moved on, and still, you care about her enough to leave everything else behind you?”

“She had her reason”, Shinichi said. “I lied to her…”

“Just to keep her safe”, Julia shouted. “And if she would have loved you as much as you love her, she would have understood it!”

Shinichi felt how something cracked in his heart. “Julia…”

“What in the world makes her so special that you still can love her?”

Shinichi lowered his eyes. Everything, he wanted to answer. You have met her, you can tell, he wanted to say. Like he could name anything or even tell. This was ridiculous, because Shinichi had always had some explanation for everything, something reasonable to explain himself, but this time, he just couldn’t. It was a feeling that he had. When he was near Ran, everything felt somehow different: relaxed and comforting, and yet a little bit exciting. Every time Ran was away, he missed her, thought of her, wondering what she was doing, if she was okay. And every time he thought about her, he just wanted to see her. He just wanted to be close to her, be with her…

He didn’t wait for Ran to take him back. Even less now that he had tried to kiss her. Hah, who even would want to man who was ready to kiss another woman behind his fiancée? But even though he knew that his chances with Ran were long gone, he just couldn’t make himself hate her or stop feeling like he did. Because he understood that she had her reasons and they were understandable. He didn’t blame her.

“She just… is”, he said finally and let out a weak laugh, because his answer was so childish, so stupid. Yet, he couldn’t give any better. “Everything just feels so much different with her”, he continued and met Julia’s eyes finally. “I don’t say I didn’t feel good being with you, but somehow, with Ran, everything I feel with her goes even further. Like… far beyond.” He shrugged. “I can’t explain it, really, but… for me, she is special.”

“So special that after everything, you would go back to her if she would give you a chance?”

Shinichi smiled shortly. “I would”, he answered. He wasn’t proud of that answer, but he knew deep down that it was the truth. Ran could throw him away as many times as she would like to, but he would be fool enough to still love her and go back if she would just ask him to. But then he let out a sigh. “But she won’t want me back”, he said, feeling another sting in his heart, but tried to ignore it. “She had said it herself.”

“Good”, Julia said much harsher than Shinichi waited for. “Because I think she doesn’t deserve you.”

“No”, Shinichi corrected. “I think I don’t deserve anyone.”

“You’re wrong, Shinichi”, Julia said and her expression softened. Shinichi observed how she came closer, lowering her hand to his chest… “You deserve only the best”, she said with a smile.

I don’t, he wanted to argue.

Julia lowered her head for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “If you need more time to get over her, we can take a break”, she suggested, smiling at him. He could still see tears in her eyes. “You can take as much time as you need. I will wait. As long as you need me to.”

Shinichi lowered his eyes and smiled.

“I asked someone once to wait for me”, he said silently. “And she waited. As long as I needed her to. And for what?” He raised his head and smiled at her sadly. “I’m not worth waiting. Don’t waste your time for me.”

“Shinichi…”

“Really”, he stopped her. “Because… As much as I want to say I can get over her, somewhere deep down I know that I can’t. And… It’s not fair to you. It’s not fair to waste your time if I can’t get over her.” He kept a little pause. “If I can’t give you back as much as you deserve.”

Julia still kept looking at him, tears in her eyes, like pleading, hoping for a difference. And Shinichi looked back, determined. He felt bad. He really did. But it was for her best. She wouldn’t wait for him, she didn’t need to go through the same as Ran once did. Instead, she would have all the time to get over this and… and find someone who would deserve her and could make her happy.

But even though Shinichi felt a little bit better, he had no idea what he would do next. Probably like Julia, he had thought of going back to America, marrying Julia, and maybe starting a family with her, but now that has changed. All he seemed to know to do was to break his own and others' hearts, and it seemed that again he was the one who would carry that sadness on his shoulders. He felt like he was at the same point as he was five years ago. He was lost again.

“I can’t turn you around, can I?”, Julia said finally.

“You can’t”, he said. “It’s better this way.”

She let out a broken sigh, yet, even though there were tears in her eyes, she smiled.

“If I can be honest, I… I was a little afraid this would happen”, she continued and looked a little down. It made his heart crack. “That day, I… I saw how you looked at her, and…” She let out a broken laugh. “Well, I realised that you may still like her.”

God, had it really shown from him? But if Julia had seen it and suspected something, why hadn’t she said anything?

“I’m so sorry, Julia”, he said finally and lowered his head. “I should have realised it sooner. I should have realised that I’m not over her and…” He let out a weak laugh. “I still think I like you, pretty much, but… but…”

“I’m not her.”

“You’re not”, Shinichi admitted. “She is just… She is just something… special.”

“Well, you can tell it to her”, Julia said finally. Shinichi frowned but observed how Julia took the engagement ring from her finger and grabbed Shinichi’s hand, putting it on his palm. Then she met his eyes again. “Because of what I have seen and heard, I think she loves you too.”

Shinichi frowned at the same time when Julia let go of her ring and took a step away from him. “Ran?” he asked confused. Then he let out a dry laugh and shook his head. “I have told you, she doesn’t like me like that anymore…”

“Really?” she asked unamused and looked somewhere behind him. “Then why she is here, then?”

Slowly, Shinichi turned around to look at the outdoors. And to his surprise, Ran stood there, looking at them, like she wasn’t sure if she should come closer or leave.

How much she had seen?

“I take my things and take another room”, he heard Julia say. He turned to look at her, and she had already turned her back to him.

“Julia…”

“We are fine”, she said without turning to look at him. “But if you excuse me, I feel like I need to go to cry my heartbreak out, so… I need a little bit of time to myself.”

He knew he had done enough already, but he wished he could do something to make her feel better or take that pain away. But he couldn’t do anything else than say: “I’m sorry, Julia… I really am.”

She looked at him over her shoulder, trying to smile. “You and me both, Shinichi”, she said before turning and walking away.

“Shinichi?”

Nice. He had just broken up with his fiancée, and now he needed to face his ex, whom he still loved deeply.

What a mess he had arranged again. But maybe he deserved this.

“Ran”, he said and turned to look at his childhood friend who had come closer to him, looking worried and like she had… cried. And he also realised that she had lost her make-up. To be honest, he wasn’t sure if she had even worn one, but something about her face was different, so it made him believe that she had had one. “What are you doing here? I thought you had fun with others.”

She frowned and looked even more frustrated. “Well, I… I…” It seemed that she didn’t get out any words, and instead, her eyes wandered to the elevator. It took a moment before she asked: “Was she angry with you?”

Shinichi turned a little bit to look at the elevator door which behind Julia had disappeared a moment ago. “Yeah”, he answered simply, and as a habit, he put his hands on his trousers’ pockets.

“I… I can explain everything to her.”

Shinichi frowned. “Explain what?” he asked and turned to look at Ran. He didn’t follow what she was talking about. “There is nothing to explain anymore.”

“We- well…” Ran seemed to be nervous. “She was angry because… because of me. Right?”

Shinichi shook his head. “No”, he said. “She isn’t angry because of you.”

“But I tried to kiss you.”

Shinichi knew it was late already and he was pretty sure that he had drunk only that one beer that Ran had offered him, but somehow he felt like he was so lost. To be honest, he wasn’t even sure what had happened during that “almost kiss”: He just remembered looking at Ran’s eyes and got some urge to kiss her, and when he had realised what he was doing, he had stopped himself, and then Ran had been gone. So it had been his fault, right? He had tried to kiss her.

Maybe Ran was just trying to take the blame to save him.

“No. I tried to kiss you”, he corrected. “And she isn’t angry because of that, but because we broke up.”

“You… you broke up?” Ran asked, looking even more sad. “But… why?”

Shinichi looked away. “What does it matter?” he asked and turned to walk to the couches. He sat down on one of them before raising his hands and rubbing his face. What a day he has had: An argument with his mother, the class reunion, Sonoko claiming that he and Ran were still in love with each other, then Ran taking him to the dancefloor, he had almost cheated on his fiancée and finally broke up with her.

But there was still one mystery: “But why are you here?” he asked finally and dropped his hands to look at Ran, who had followed him with slower steps like she was hesitating to follow him. She stopped in front of that couch, yet she didn’t sit. She met his eyes before lowering her gaze to the floor.

“Well, I… I was worried”, she said finally and glanced at him fast. “You disappeared so suddenly and I… I thought you left, and… and…” She stopped. Then she finally looked around and turned to sit down on that same couch, just leaving a little space between them. Then she just stared at her hands which she kept on her lap, looking somehow bothered.

“I’m so sorry”, she said finally.

“Ran…” Shinichi sighed.

“Because if I hadn’t tried to kiss you, you wouldn’t have to tell Julia and she wouldn’t be mad…”

“Ran, stop!”

Ran shut her mouth. Shinichi took a deep breath before opening his mouth again. “Listen. It didn’t happen because of you okay?” he said. “It happened because of me. Because I broke up with her. Because I didn’t want to hurt her more than I have hurt you. Because… Because I…” He lowered his eyes, looking at the floor. Well, there goes nothing. “Because I still love you”, he said finally. And before he could stop himself, he continued: “More than anything else.”

“Shinichi…”

“So I did what was right”, he said, hoping to stop Ran from saying anything else. He didn’t need her pity, he didn’t want it. Yet, he opened his hand and looked at the engagement ring. He remembered how he had bought it for her, how he had carried it in his pocket wherever he had gone with her, only waiting for the right moment. And how he had finally kneeled in front of her…

“I really loved her though”, he said finally, closing his hand. “I won’t lie: when I went to America, I just wanted to take some distance from you.” He collected all his courage to meet Ran. “I was so jealous of you when I saw you with someone else and I was so heartbroken from the truth that you looked so happy and free without me. So, I thought that some time with my parents would give me enough space so that when I came back, I wouldn’t feel so bad. In the end, for me, the most important thing is that you are feeling fine and safe. And if it is without me, then so be it.” He kept a little pause, looking at his hands again. “But I got my chance to study there, and I met her… And of course, some other people. But I told them about you and our relationship and I really worked hard with it. I wanted to get over you and my feelings because it was the only right thing to do. And I did and then I fell in love with Julia, I genuinely did. But… But then I came back to Japan, met you again, and…” He let out a laugh because he felt really, really stupid. He straightened himself only to lean on the couch back and look at the ceiling. “All this time I had lied to myself, thought I could love someone and give my heart to them, let them be something special for me. But… It has always been you.” Then he turned to look at Ran. “And probably will always be.”

And he could see how tears glimmered in her eyes. “I’m… I’m so sorry, Shinichi.”

And even though he had known it all this time, it felt like she had broken his heart again. His mother, Sonoko, and even Julia had been wrong. She didn’t feel the same. And even though he hadn’t had time to build any new plans on that, maybe, deep down, he had hoped that maybe, maybe there would be even a little chance to him, that maybe they could try at least one more time…

“I just threw you away five years ago because I was always doubting you and all your words. I didn’t talk about it even though now I realised that I should have said about it. Tell you about it. And only after you disappeared, I realised that I was just looking for someone like you in my life”, Ran continued with a cry, making Shinichi out of his miserable thoughts. “And when you finally came back, I was so happy to see you and all, but when you introduced your fiancée, I was… I was so heartbroken”, she said, and even though she was wiping her tears, she smiled. “Because I had been so selfish and hoped that one day, I would meet you again and I would get one more chance, because… because I still love you.”

Ran…

“I met Julia-san just because it seemed to be important to you, but… but all I wanted to do was cry”, Ran admitted. “Because even though I thought you deserved only the best and all the happiness, I… I was so heartbroken because I just… just… wanted you back. I also knew that the class reunion would be a mistake, but I still wanted to spend even a little more time with you before… before you would leave again.” Then she started to cry and covered her face with her hands. “I’m… I’m so sorry Shinichi. About… everything.”

Shinichi looked at her crying before straightening himself and gently, wrapped his arms around her, making her lean on him. “It’s okay, Ran”, he said while pressing his head against hers, closing his eyes and listening to that familiar cry. “I’m so sorry too.”

Epilogue comes out when it is ready :D

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