midnightblue128

[midnightblue128]

Hey! I just wanted to ask. When writing about a fictional world, where magic exists and stuff.. when is probably the best time to say the types of magic and other razzle-dazzle and stuff? If you don't get it it's okay.. :3

Introducing Magic Lore

When it comes to magic, I am a huge proponent of no info-dumping just to explain magic.

I personally find that readers don’t actually need to know everything right off the bat because an in-depth explanation of magic tends to take away from the narrative and bore people — so the best time is not in the beginning. Don’t show all of your cards right away!

My favorite way to introduce magic lore and explanation is to bring it up as it becomes relevant. This way you’re sprinkling bits and pieces of information as they become important, and it doesn’t feel like you’re taking away from the story to force an explanation. Readers are smarter than people often think they are, and they don’t need their hand held!

 Here are some suggestions of how to do this!

Have a character that doesn’t know how magic works.

If there’s a character that has no idea how magic in this world works, your audience can learn about how magic works alongside this character!

When you want to explain something, you can have this clueless character bring up that thing, and have a more knowledgeable character explain it, or have them discover the answer on their own.

The difficult thing about this method is balancing how much the character doesn’t know, and how much they ask. It gets annoying if it happens too often, but you also have to remember that they might possibly not know the things that are considered common knowledge in that setting — I think one of the best ways to work with this is to just have them question as much as possible, and have beta readers tell you if you’re doing it too much.

Harry Potter is a good example of this: He’s the main character who had no idea magic existed and that he was a wizard. Throughout the entire series — but especially the first book — Harry is in awe of the magical world, and more knowledgeable characters (Hagrid, Ron, Hermione, etc) help explain the rules of magic, how it works, and how society functions as a result.

Tales of the Abyss also did a similar thing, with a main character who had literally never been outside of his estate. He didn’t have any idea how magic worked, or the politics of their conflicted world — so through the entire story he’s constantly learning about everything in the world.

Explain it the first time it comes up

So maybe you don’t have a character that’s completely clueless — that’s okay! 

For example, let’s say that there’s five types of magic in your story, and your main character uses type 1. In the beginning of the story, maybe you only talk about type 1 magic because your main character is using it.

Eventually, when you introduce a character who uses type 4 magic, it’ll be the first time your readers ever encounter type 4 magic — or even that there are multiple types of magic. This is your opportunity to elaborate on type 4 magic and explain it a bit, and mention the other types of magic. 

Explain an outlier

I don’t know how your magic works, but sometimes there are people who use magic differently than what is considered standard. If you have a character who uses magic in a different way, it is your opportunity to elaborate upon what is different, and make a comparison/explanation to the standard style of magic.

Maybe something unexpected happens — elaborate on what was supposed to happen, and speculate why it didn’t. This can provide really relevant and interesting information for your readers.

Create disagreement or discussion

You know how things work, but do your characters know how things work? Even in science there are a multitude of conflicting theories about how things on Earth work — you can do the same thing in your story! Maybe a couple of your characters don’t agree with each other on how something works, or the theory behind it and they get in an argument about it. This can reveal a lot about not only those characters like how they argue, what they’re passionate about, their opinions on magic, it can also help explain a lot of magic lore and what knowledge about it exists.

These are some of the techniques that I keep in mind when slowly revealing how magic works in my WIPs, hope this helped!

[midnightblue128]

good: “may i have this dance?”

EXCELLENT: “may i have this dance?” *draws sword*

[midnightblue128]

Writing Advice/Writing Lesson/Val Rants #WhoCares: Titles and Terms of Address

If fic writers could stop using ‘Heir’ like it’s a legitimate title, that would be great. ‘Heir’ is not a title; it’s not the junior form of ‘Lord’. It’s not a title in any form. Stop having your “aristocratic” characters address each other as ‘Heir This’ or ‘Heiress That’ or whatever else.

It’s not a title.

You want actual, real-world forms of address for your kiddie upper-class?

→ ‘Master’ is the actual title you would use for a young boy and/or unmarried young man of a family of the upper-class (It would become ‘Mister” when he comes of age).

→ ‘Miss’ is the girl equivalent.

→ They would be called Master/Miss [Family-name] if they are the eldest child of their gender, and Master/Miss [First-name+Family-name] if they are the younger siblings of their gender.  

→ If two or more children of a family are involved in a conversation with people not in their family, the eldest would be Master/Miss [Family-name] and the younger siblings would be addressed as Master/Miss [First-name] to distinguish between them.

For example: If a family — the Weasleys from Harry Potter — were upper-class, the oldest, Bill, would be called Master Weasley up until he turned 17 when he would become Mr Weasley. All his younger brothers would be called Master [First-name] Weasley, and their sister, Ginny, would be called Miss Weasley.

(As they are in canon though, father is called Mr Weasley, and all the Weasley boys would be Mr [First-name] Weasley until they move out to live on their own.)

However, at school, teachers WOULD NOT call students by formal titles — students would be addressed by their surnames and nothing else. Unless there were multiple students with the same surname (like the Weasleys), there would be no first names, no ‘Master/Mister’ nor ‘Miss.’

Even amongst themselves, upper-class/noble children would not use formal terms of address and instead call each other by their surnames or nicknames based on surnames or titles. If the Weasleys were ennobled, Bill might be called by his school friends (for example) Wesleton or something like Wes.

→ So how would your kiddie upper-class actually address each other? Unadorned surname.

But I see your disgruntled face now. You want that thrill of fancy titles! You want your upper-class to have the fancy conventions of the nobility!

Have you considered though that you haven’t actually made your characters nobility but instead gentry?

“But what’s gentry?” you might be wondering now.

→ Gentry* is a level of upper-class adjacent or a step below the nobility. Clergymen; estate owners; wealthy merchants; well-off political figures; ‘gentlefolk’. In general, if a person or family isn’t obligated to work to sustain themselves comfortably, they are gentry.

[*If this status has been achieved only in the latest generation, the person and/or family might be derided as parvenu, arriviste, or nouveau riche, especially if their rise in wealth, influence or celebrity is sketchy or they themselves are simply tacky and tasteless. (Lockhart AND Voldemort would fit into this bracket, though for different reasons, obviously.)]

So often in HP fics I see monikers like “Lord Black, Head of House Black and Lestrange,” and while that sounds grand, those are not noble titles. (If you are writing the general era of Merlin, go ahead and ignore this since that time period was before the establishment of this hierarchy.) ‘Lord’ certainly denotes nobility, but the second part can be applied to any sort of upper-class — and it’s not even an “official” status, ei. one you would be obliged to state went introducing people. It’s trivia! It would be like calling my mother ‘Dame Tanya, Head of House Kendall’ — not untrue, but unneeded and out of place.

Rarely do I see nobility in fanfiction properly titled and addressed like nobility. Most of the time it’s gentry pseudo-titles and made-up forms of address. If you don’t want to go through the trouble of actually creating a noble hierarchy, go with an un-ennobled gentry class. It’s easier to remember the rules and it’s less high-strung.

If you insist on the use of noble titles though, then you must accept that family names are NOT titles.

Let’s say Artemis Fowl is an earl. He wouldn’t be ‘Earl Fowl,’ he would be ‘Lord [Somewhere], The Earl of [Somewhere]’ if his title came with territory, or ‘Lord [Title-name], Earl [Title-name]’ if the position was a title only. He would NEVER be called ‘Earl [Family-name]’ unless the family name had already been adopted from the title. (ex. Black Butler, where the MC is Ciel Phantomhive, The Earl of Phantomhive.)

And he wouldn’t be really be addressed as ‘Earl [Whatever]’ outside of being announced at a ball or being introduced to someone for the first time  — in conversation with or without him, he would be referred to as ‘Lord [Title-name].’

Nobility in order of precedence:

Duke/Duchess 

The Duke/Duchess of [Somewhere]

styled as ‘His/Her Grace’ 

referred to in 3rd person as “His/Her Grace’

orally addressed as ‘Your Grace’ (or ‘Duke/Duchess’ by social equals)

The eldest son/heir apparent is styled as ‘The Most Honourable’

The eldest son/heir apparent may be referred to as ‘Marquess/Marchioness [Subsidiary-title]’ (NO ‘THE’)

The eldest son/heir apparent is addressed as ‘My Lord/Lady’ OR ‘Lord/Lady [Subsidiary-title]’

younger children are not styled

younger children are referred to and addressed as ‘The Lord/Lady [First-name+Family-name]’

Marquess/Marchioness 

The Marquess/Marchioness of [Somewhere]

styled as ‘The Most Honourable’

referred to in 3rd person as ‘His/Her Lordship/Ladyship’

orally addressed as ‘Lord/Lady [Somewhere].’

The eldest son/heir apparent is styled as ‘The Right Honourable’

The eldest son/heir apparent may be addressed as ‘Earl/Countess [Subsidiary-title]’ (NO ‘THE’)

The eldest son/heir apparent is addressed as ‘My Lord/Lady’ OR ‘Lord/Lady [Subsidiary-title]’

younger children are not styled

younger children are referred to and addressed as ‘Lord/Lady [First-name+Family-name]’

Earl/Countess 

The Earl/Countess of [Somewhere] OR [Title-name]

styled as ‘The Right Honourable’

referred to in 3rd person as ‘His/Her Lordship/Ladyship’ 

orally addressed as ‘Lord/Lady [Somewhere] OR ‘Lord/Lady [Title-name].’

The eldest son/heir apparent is styled as ‘The Right Honourable’

The eldest son/heir apparent may be addressed as ‘Viscount/Viscountess [Subsidiary-title]’ 

eldest son/heir apparent is addressed as ‘My Lord/Lady’ OR ‘Lord/Lady [Subsidiary-title]’

younger children are not styled

younger children are referred to and addressed as ‘Mr/Miss [First-name+Family-name]’

Viscount/Viscountess 

The Viscount/Viscountess [Title-name]

styled as ‘The Right Honourable’ 

referred to in 3rd person as ‘His/Her Lordship/Ladyship’

orally addressed as ‘Lord/Lady [Title-name].’

The eldest son/heir apparent is styled as ‘The Honourable’

The eldest son/heir apparent is addressed as ‘Mr/Miss [Family-name]’

younger children are not styled

younger children are referred to and addressed as ‘Mr/Miss [First-name+Family-name]’

Baron/Lady*

The Lord/Lady [Title-name]

styled as ‘The Right Honourable’ (’Much Honoured’ if Scottish)

referred to in 3rd person as ‘His/Her Lordship/Ladyship’

orally addressed as ‘Lord/Lady [Title-name].’ 

The eldest son/heir apparent is styled as ‘The Honourable’

The eldest son/heir apparent may be addressed as ‘Mr/Miss [Family-name]’

younger children are not styled 

younger children are addressed as ‘Mr/Miss [First-name+Family-name]’

[*Only a woman who is a baroness in her own right may use the title of Baroness.]

Baronet*

Baronet [Title-name]

is not styled

referred to and orally addressed as ‘Sir [First-name]’

wife is referred to addressed as ‘Lady [Family-name]’

The eldest children are not styled

The eldest children are addressed as ‘Mr/Miss [Family-name]’

younger children are not styled

younger children are addressed as ‘Mr/Miss [First-name+Family-name]’

[*Baronets are not actually nobility, but the title is hereditary.

**The titles of duke and marquess are almost always territorial, hence the inclusion of ‘of’. The title of earl can be titular only though, so if they don’t preside over an area the ‘of’ is dropped in favour of the title alone when being addressed. Viscounts and barons are almost always title-only, so they never use ‘of’.]

The addressing system can be very confusing, so to make sure there’s no confusion  — imagine there is a marquess. He is The Marquess of Clearwater.

He is never ‘Lord Henry Clearwater.’

NEVER.

He may be called ‘Lord Clearwater’; ‘Henry, Lord Clearwater’; his immediate family and close friends would call him, ‘Clearwater’; and people of lower standing would call him ‘my lord’ OR ‘your lordship.’ This goes for earls, viscounts, and barons as well.

(Note: A duke never ‘Lord [Anything]’ — he is always ‘Duke [Whatever].’)

A nobleman’s surname is always his title. He’s ‘Devonshire’ and not ‘Cavendish’, the family name. The children use the family name, he uses the title. His signature is his titles as well: Wellington, Jersey, Rutland, Norwich, et al. He generally wouldn’t introduce himself as ‘John Johnson, Earl of Marsh’ either, but as ‘Marsh.’ 

His wife would use his title as a surname also, and sign as ‘E. Marsh’, or ‘Elizabeth Marsh’. Lady Marsh might even send her letters with just ‘Marsh’ as her husband does, though it’s most common for the lady to sign with her first name or initial and the title.

And do not mix peerage and courtesy titles. (The former being the nobleman, the latter being his heir.) If a man is a nobleman he is never ‘Lord [First-name] [Anything].’

And then were have the gentry, my preferred method of upper-class since it can be used in any country, any genre, and a character can achieve the status  without needing the “correct” parentage.

Gentry in order of vague precedence:

Ambassador 

Ambassador [Family-name]

styled as ‘His/Her Excellency’

orally addressed as ‘Your Excellency’ OR ‘Sir/Madam.’

Supreme Court Justice 

Justice [Family-name]

styled as ‘The Right Honourable’ + whatever title they may have OR ‘His/Her Honour’

orally addressed as ‘Your Honour,’ OR ‘My Lord/Lady,’ OR ‘Your Lordship/Ladyship,’ OR ‘Sir/Madam.’

Secretary of State

Minister [Family-name]

styled as ‘The Right Honourable’ + whatever title they may have. 

orally addressed as ‘Your Honour,’ OR ‘Sir/Madam.’

[*Same precedence as a baron.]

Religious figure 

These are extremely varied and numerous, and the address varies from religion to religion.

in general, the heads of an order/sect can be styled as ‘His/Her Eminence’

orally addressed as ‘Your Eminence’

[*Depending on the position, a religious figure can have precedence over even a duke. Most are pretty mid-range though.]

Judge 

Judge [Family-name]

styled as ‘The Right Honourable’ + whatever title they have

orally addressed as ‘Your Honour’ OR ‘Sir/Madam,’ OR ‘Judge [Family-name]’

Magistrate  

Magistrate [Family-name]

styled as ‘The Honourable’ + whatever title they have 

orally addressed ‘Your Honour’  OR ‘Sir/Madam.’

Knight/Dame 

styled as ‘Sir/Dame [First-name+Family-name]’

orally addressed as  ‘Sir/Dame [First-name]’ OR ‘Sir/Madam’

A wife would be ‘Lady [Surname]’; a husband would be ‘Mr [Surname]’

Esquire*

styled as ‘[First-name+Family-name], Esq.’ upon introduction and on paper

styled as ‘[First-name+Family-name]’ on a day-to-day basis

orally addressed as ‘Sir.’

a wife (if she had no title of her own) would be Madam/Mrs [First-name+Family-name]

[* Not to be confused with squires, esquires are the younger sons of the lower nobility; the head of an old but untitled family; any large estate owner; medical professionals; barristers at law.]

Gentleman 

styled as [Military title]/Doctor/Professor/Mister [First-name+Family-name]

orally addressed as ‘Sir.’

a wife (if she had no title of her own) would be Madam/Mrs [First-name+Family-name]

[*The Latin prefix ‘de’ (meaning ‘of’) was occasionally applied to surnames. Though it doesn’t actually denote nobility nor gentry, it has been known for the nouveau riche to add it to their names (incorrectly) to make it sound fancier, e.g. “de Trafford.” Correctly used, it should denote a foreign place-name, e.g. “de Grey” or “D’Urbervilles.”]

The gentry is upper-class, but unlike nobility, their titles are not hereditary. I think using it actually makes any social hierarchy you may want to write into your fic more credible and less jarring; where there’s a governing body and rich people, there is a gentry  — acknowledged or otherwise.

This concludes Val’s rant/lesson/advice! If you have questions or suggestions for my next topic, hit me up in an ask! 

[midnightblue128]

HEY, Romance Writers!

A few followers have asked for tips on writing romance into their stories or as the basis of their stories. Here’s a masterlist of sources (below cut) that may help.

General Romance:

What Defines Romantic Love?

How to Build a Romance Thread in Your Story

How to Plot a Romance Novel

Slowburn Romance

When Friends Fall for Each Other (ask)

Tips for Writing a Character Who Has a Crush

Tips on Writing Unrequited Love 

Writing Healthy Couples in Fiction

An Antidote to “Love at First Sight”

How Attractive Should Your Characters Be?

3 Great Ways to Show That Your Character Is In Love

6 Ways to Get Your Readers Shipping Like Crazy

Six Steps to Stronger Character Arcs in Romances

Seven Great Sources of Conflict for Romances

9 Romance Writing Mistakes to Avoid

20 Tips for Writing Lovable Romance Novel Heroes 

How to Write a Kissing Scene in a Romance Novel

Types of Kisses and Kissing + This Post Is All About Kisses

List of Ideas to Keep Romantic Tension High

100 Questions for Character Couples

How Do I Make the Relationship Development Realistic?

How Do I Know If Two People Are Compatible?

Healthy Relationships Can Include Teasing

YA Romance:

How to Write a YA Romance Without Cliché  

20 Mistakes To Avoid When Writing Young Adult Fiction/Romance

Intercultural Romance:

How do I write an interracial couple accurately? (ask)

15 Common Stereotypes About Intercultural Relationships

Cross Cultural Relationships

[Ideas for] Your [Fictional] Cross-Cultural Relationship

Things to Avoid When Writing Interracial Romance

writingwithcolor: Interracial Relationships (w/ links)

Bad Romance:

Removing the Creeps From Romance

Why The Surprise Kiss Must Go

Possessiveness 101

10 Signs You May Be in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Edward & Bella Are In An Abusive Relationship

Red Flags, Verbal Abuse, Stalking… | Script Shrink

5 Huge Mistakes Ruining the Romantic Relationships in Your Book

How do you write a [bad] relationship without romanticising it? (ask)

General Tips for Writing Characters Love Interests:

How to Write from a Guy’s POV

Writing Awesome Male Characters: What You’re Doing Wrong

7 Point-of-View Basics Every Writer Should Know

How Do You Describe a Character?

4 Ways to Make Readers Instantly Loathe Your Character Descriptions

3 Signs Your Story’s Characters Are Too Perfect

Is a Quirk Just What Your Character Needs?

Six Types of Character Flaws

Is Your Character Optimistic Or Pessimistic?

5 Ways to Keep Characters Consistent

9 Simple and Powerful Ways to Write Body Language

10 Body Language Tricks for Deeper Characterization

Describing People Part Three: Gestures, Expressions, and Mannerisms

33 Ways To Write Stronger Characters

Conveying Character Emotion

Distinguishing Characters in Dialogue

How to Make Readers Love an Unlikable Character…  

Characters: Likability Is Overrated

Relationships in General:

How to Create Powerful Character Combos

8 Secrets To Writing Strong Character Relationships

Character Relationships: 6 Tips for Crafting Real Connections

Writing Relationships: Hate to Love

Stereotypes, Archetypes, & Tropes:

Five Signs Your Story Is Sexist: Part 1, Part 2

Five Signs Your Story Is Sexist – Against Men

Always Female vs Always Male

Born Sexy Yesterday & Manic Pixie Dream Girl

7 (Overused) Female Love Interests

Other Resource Lists

Resources For Romance Writers

Pinterest Board “Writing: Romance Arcs and Plots”  

thewritershelpers FAQ (romance, kissing, sexuality, etc)

+ Follow HEY, Writers! on Ko-Fi // Wattpad // AO3 // Goodreads // Pinterest

[midnightblue128]

Text: You had to pass an intensive human test to take out a loan from the bank. It was so thorough, even real humans sometimes failed. 

[midnightblue128]

a large part of good prose is just learning to say the same thing in thousands of different ways, and then learning when to describe what in which way and why. practice by taking something simple and describing it, again and again, in as many different ways as you can. describe the floor. describe it by its texture. describe it by its color. describe it by its purpose. describe it by the light and shadows that fall upon it. then ask yourself in what context each description would be the most useful. same floor, thousands of different ways of introducing it. but why would you describe it this way?

[midnightblue128]

Prompt #6258

“Predators aren’t the most vicious creatures in the wilderness. They are the ones who have lost the most by humans.”

[midnightblue128]

Could you do a little snippit of a runaway and the person who constantly catchers her to bring her home

“You could not bring me back this time.” The girl’s hand tightened on the strap of her rucksack as she eyed the guard. 

The corner of the guard’s mouth twitched in a smile. “You’d be disappointed if no one noticed you were gone.” 

“I think it would be liberating.” It felt suffocating to be watched wherever she went, never managing to quite steal a moment of privacy for herself except in these moments when she fled. Then, for a few hours at least, she could at least snatch at the promise of freedom. 

The guard sauntered over to her, taking a seat next to her on the grass. They stretched out lazily, all lean sun-kissed muscle and dangerous grace. 

She quickly looked way, heat on her cheeks. 

The other guards had all gone straight past her hiding place, but this one - this one. 

“How do you always find me?” she asked. 

“You did quite well this time. You’re getting better at covering up your tracks, you don’t make the obvious mistakes anymore.”

“Don’t try and distract me with flattery.” 

“Simply facts, my lady.” 

“I’m not your lady.” 

“Well,” the guard replied, “then I am under no compulsion to answer your questions.” There was a lilt of amusement in their voice and the girl shot them a look. 

“You don’t follow my orders anyway,” she said. “Otherwise you wouldn’t keep dragging me back like a good jailer.” 

The amusement faded away as the guard studied her, head cocked to one side. They said nothing immediately, though. 

The girl buried her face in her hands and debated fighting. She wouldn’t win, of course, but it was the principle of the matter. She dropped her hands instead, scanning the trees spreading lush in every direction. Sunlight dappled into the cool shade beneath the canopy.  She could get to her feet and sprint, too, but she wouldn’t make it more than a few metres before the guard slung her over one shoulder and started walking the other way back to the city. 

“I could stop you before you ever left the citadel, my lady,” the guard said quietly. 

She looked over, her insides jolting. The guard wasn’t looking at her. They were studying the forest too, calmly breathing in the scent of the undergrowth and the evening air. 

“I know every way in and out of this place,” the guard continued, “and I sure know about running away too.”

She opened her mouth to ask but the laziness was gone now, as the guard pushed themselves up onto their feet and offered the girl a hand to help her up. Her jaw tightened but she accepted the hand, hauled up easily. 

She had ask, she barely knew what she wanted to ask first. Because if the guard knew about running, why drag her back? Because if the guard could stop her, why let her slip her leash even this far? Unless they knew just how much the girl needed these moments alone. Or maybe it was cruelty, like a cat pretending to let a mouse skitter away before the paw clamped down all the same. 

She didn’t think it was cruelty. The guard’s eyes were too sad, too guarded. 

“You could run with me,” she said instead, pleading. “Next time. I’m sure I could use your expertise. We could both just go.” 

The guard merely gestured back towards the citadel. 

“After you, my lady.”

And she was reeled back in again. 

NOT A PR0MPT

[midnightblue128]

Hi, I'm rereading some of my work and I notice that most of the sentences start with a subject and it tends to get really annoying after a while. Any tips on other ways I could start my sentences?

How to Diversify Your Sentence Structure

This is a really common problem that I think a lot of writers have! Having a repetitive sentence structure without variation can make your prose really choppy, boring and difficult to read, while overall weakening your voice.

Here are some techniques to help you change things up a bit!

Switch around your subject

Very basic grammar: Every sentence has a subject and a predicate. I think when we think of subject in a sentence, we often think of person. This might be especially true in creative writing because we deal with characters.

For example:

Amelia opened her front door and walked outside. She felt a cold breeze blow through her. She realized that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the weather. Amelia turned around and went back inside to grab a jacket.

In this example, Amelia is the subject of every single sentence, and a verb is followed immediately afterward. Because every sentence begins with ‘Amelia’ or ‘she’, there’s no variety and it’s a little bit boring to read. 

Here’s what it could look like if I switched the subject around somewhere.

She felt a cold breeze blow through her.

A cold breeze blew through her.

The difference is subtle, but now the subject of the sentence is the breeze, not Amelia. The sentence structure is still the same: The subject is followed by a verb. However, because the subject is different from Amelia, it still brings variety to how your sentences read. 

Here’s what it looks like now:

Amelia opened her front door and walked outside. A cold breeze blew through her. She realized that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the weather. Amelia turned around and went back inside to grab a jacket.

Now that every sentence doesn’t begin with “Amelia” or “she” it seems a little bit more interesting.

Put dependent clause before subject 

So we changed one subject in a sentence, but we still have multiple sentences that have Amelia as the subject. It still doesn’t have too much variety in sentence structure, and as a result, it can be stilted.

So let’s try bringing a dependent clause before the subject.

She realized that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the weather. Amelia turned around and went back inside to grab a jacket.

Realizing that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the weather, Amelia turned around and went back inside to grab a jacket.

By bringing ‘realizing’ before the subject, I created a dependent clause and succeeded making the first word something other than the subject. 

However, because it’s a dependent clause, ‘realizing that she wasn’t dressed appropriately’ is a sentence fragment — it’s an incomplete thought. So I combined it with the last sentence to make it complete.

So after those two techniques, let’s compare the original with the rewrite.

Original

Amelia opened her front door and walked outside. She felt a cold breeze blow through her. She realized that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the weather. Amelia turned around and went back inside to grab a jacket. 

Rewrite

Amelia opened her front door and walked outside. A cold breeze blew through her. Realizing that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the weather, Amelia turned around and went back inside to grab a jacket.

Now because there’s a variety in sentence structure and subject, the paragraph  is not only more interesting to read, it also flows better and more smoothly. It also has the added bonus of diverse sentence lengths which was lacking before, and it helps make the writing more engaging.

I just wanted to note: there is nothing bad about having your subject as the first word in a sentence. I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to change every single sentence they ever wrote. Like in my example, the first sentence starts with Amelia. That’s fine.

The problem is that when every single sentence starts that way, it becomes repetitive. You can still have some sentences that start with your character, just make sure to throw in some other sentence structures, and your writing will be more engaging!

Outside of this specific example, you can also try playing around with dependent clauses in your existing sentences as well.

Jamie walked into the haunted house, despite her reluctance.

Despite her reluctance, Jamie walked into the haunted house.

The sentence is the exact same, but I just switched around where the dependent clause ‘despite her reluctance’ is placed. Even though it has the same meaning, it can provide a different feel or at the very least, switch up having your subject as the first word of every sentence.

I also talk about this in my guide about how to make your writing flow better. Sentence structure has a lot to do with making your writing sound cohesive and eloquent, so I would definitely recommend checking that out as well!

Thanks so much for asking Anon, I definitely struggled with this too when I was just starting out. I remember seeing how every single paragraph started with a name, and that was really annoying me, but I had trouble figuring out how to fix it. I hope this helped!

[midnightblue128]

Writing Prompt #20

It was a completely normal day, which was precisely what made it abnormal.”

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Prompt #6082

Villain: “If you ever want to make some real money…”

Hero: “An odd choice of words, coming from a counterfeiter.”

[midnightblue128]

Prompt #1553

“What do you think you’re doing in my base?”

The thief winced. “Uh…I thought this was my evil lair?”

“Get out.”

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Useful Tips and Tricks to Write Around Writer’s Block

Camp NaNoWriMo is in full swing! Now that we’re in the second week, you may find yourself struggling to figure out what to write next. Today, NaNoWriMo YWP participant Rylee Kazort shares some writing advice and tips for breaking through writer’s block: 

As a writer myself, I will be the last to tell you writing is as simple as picking up a pen and just going for it. Everyone has their own style and vision. A lot goes into writing a good story, and not all the rules are clear cut.

But what if I get stuck? Writer’s block is something we have or will experience at one time or another. Here are a few things to help get over or avoid that situation.

1. Make every scene important.

Whenever you’re between action sequences in the story and nothing is really happening that will hold interest, give the reader important information about the story. Add information when you can’t show action.

Keep reading

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Let’s talk about Confidence

This is a message I just sent to my beta. And I want all my fellow writers out there to know why this isn’t selfish – it’s essential. 

A lot of writblr culture revolves around self-deprecation. I myself have made a lot of posts about drafts, and how the early drafts are “bad,” and the excruciating process of stepping back, seeing all its flaws, and tackling it again and again with another round of edits. 

And that is a very important and necessary part of the process.  BUT.

I can tell you, that as I was writing each of those horrible early drafts, I was in love with them. I felt good when I finished them, I felt they were doing the work they needed to move the story forward. It was only a few days later, or in some cases, months, or in terms of full drafts, years later when I reread scenes and realized they didn’t work anymore. 

Here’s the thing: You can get floods of memes and fanarts and kudos and comments and reviews and messages and asks, but nobody should love the story as much as you do. Because YOU are the one writing it, it’s YOUR fingers on the keys – not a single one of your readers can make your story take a single step forward. That’s on you. 

So I don’t care if you write fluffy oneshots or epic multichapter fics, don’t you for one second berate your own writing or get bogged down comparing it to others’ because it’s “not good enough.” My shitty first drafts of scenes weren’t good enough. But I fucking loved them, I loved the story they were going to tell, and I loved writing them. 

LOVE YOUR WRITING. Brag about it, obsess over it, reread the stuff you wrote and congratulate yourself on the amazing work you’ve accomplished. Because at the end of the day, THAT is what will keep you creating and perfecting your art. 

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look, I’m a simple woman, i just want villains and heroes in love with each other and pissed off about it

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“What’s in your mouth.”

The werewolf makes a guilty face and chews faster.

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What to do when you can’t write:

All writers have those days when the words just Don’t. Flow. Where, no matter how hard we try, our pens scratch scribbles on our paper instead of letters. It’s not a fun place to be. The one thing you can’t do is let those days turn themselves into weeks and months. 

I’ve been there often enough myself to develop a number of ways to shake myself out of a writing funk and I’d like to offer them to you. Try one. Try them all. Find out what works for you and get to writing again. 

Start with a small goal and let it grow. Tell yourself you just want to write one sentence. Then one paragraph. You put the frog in lukewarm water, and then turn the burner on. 

Try using a progress tracking chart, like this one by ArtsyAndreaM on Deviant Art.

Similarly, buy a pack of stickers and place one on your calendar/planner/diary for every 500 words you write that day.

Tell a friend your writing goal and have them hold you accountable to it. If they’re interested in what you’re writing you can even send them your work at the end of each day/week. 

 Listen to inspiring speeches by authors you like, like one of these by Neil Gaiman. 

Give yourself permission to write something terrible. Something terrible is something, at least.

Print out some inspiring essays and quotes and post them on the wall above your desk. NaNoWriMo pep talks can be especially great. 

Write a scene in your head. It doesn’t count if it’s in your head, so you don’t have to worry about it being terrible. If it isn’t terrible, put it on paper. 

Go to a coffee shop or library full of other people working. It just might be enough to guilt you into working too. 

Give yourself 10 minutes on Write or Die, where there are consequences for stopping even for a few seconds. 

Use Writer’s Block and block yourself from everything on your computer except a blank page for a number of minutes or words.  

Write in a journal. Write a letter. Anything to get any words out of your head. 

Reread one of your favorite books. Remind yourself why you want to write in the first place. 

Be honest about when you’re procrastinating, like when you’re writing blog posts or tidying up your desk, and when you’re actually doing something that will help you write.