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This might kill me bye

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tim time

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We report: noon light above the growing crops, the sun is pressing down on our face, hot and sharp. There is not a lick of a breeze to displace the mass of heat on the ground, yet we see the soil breathe when we watch with intent. And we watch. And the horizon line oscillates.

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𝓜𝕚𝕔ʰᵃêl 𝓢𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕e̾𝓎

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infodumping at awkward lunch dates with your boss

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compelling contender for one of the worst lines in the series

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Dany advisor tier list?

Just for you I made you a rubric. I did not include “could reasonably be called a good advisor” because I think many of them would disqualify. Poor kid.

Here is my ranking based on said points.

12. Viserys- 3. Despite my best efforts to rig this shit, Viserys ends up last. I remembered the reason why Dany is attached to Jorah at all isnt because he is reliable or a good advisor but because he is only slightly more reliable and less of an active threat than Viserys at the time.

11. Warlocks of the House of the Undying- 3.5 if you count prophetic dreams as good advice.

10. Jorah- 4. Fun fact when I was reading dance for the first time and he showed back up again and was reintroduced hiring a sex worker who looks just like Dany I had to put the book down and go for an hourlong calm down walk up a mountain before I continued because I got too mad.

9. Hizdahr- 4. He understands how Mereen works and is pretty honest about it to Daenerys at the cost of. you know. trying to use her as a pawn the whole time and not caring if she lives or dies. Also maybe tried to poison her.

8. Green Grace- 5-6, depending on if she is the harpy or not. Even if she isn’t she has a clear vendetta against her and is actively trying to manipulate her.

7. Mirri Maaz Dur- 5. She did teach Dany some lessons worth remembering but made sure that those lessons would be traumatic enough that Daenerys would do the exact opposite of it forever and maybe engineer her own downfall as a result, which I guess does accomplish Mirri’s goal. Highest ranking of the people who have actively tried to kill her.

6. Irri and Jhiqui- 6. Why are they still interchangeable after 5 books. Can they get some character arcs. Please. Rank lower because they don’t give her much advice.

5. Rahkaro and the Bloodriders- 6. They don’t seem to give her much advice, but they don’t seem to get much screen time anyway. Again can the dothraki characters not have any depth is that not allowed.

6. The Shavepate- 6.5. may have tried to poison her, jury is still out. If he was in anyone else’s arc, you would be like wow he’s a terrible advisor, but this is a competitive category for Daenerys, so middle of the pack.

5. Daario- 6.5. Daenerys has questionable taste in men because she is fifteen and been through a lot so she thinks this is all her choice and very exciting. But someday when she is older, she is going to look back on this and realize that someone should’ve intervened.

4. Quaithe-7 pending more data on who she is and what she wants. What is your deal girl.

3. Barristan- 7. Half points for “not being a pedophile” and “understands westerosi geopolitics” those are dubious. He is knightpilled and societybrained to the point of near-delusion and the fact that he ranks so high speaks less to his qualifications and more to the fact that this poor girl has had some really terrible advisors.

2. Missandei- 8. but again she is eleven.

1. Grey Worm- 9. Thanks mister worm. Unfortunately Jacob Anderson was still wasted on your role in the show.

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Do you wanna play mermaids? Yay. Okay so my tail is light blue and I have ice powers. And I live in the Arctic sea and watch British sailors die horrible deaths while trying to find the Northwest Passage.

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grrm has a real knack for writing men who cower in the corner due to the overwhelming shame of their mere existence while simultaneously saying to themselves “i am the hottest girl in this grocery store” twice per page. jaime, theon, jon etc etc

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SO looking forward to seeing Jaime’s live reaction of seeing Stoneheart for the first time

the mortal terror of seeing the reanimated corpse of the woman who he views as holding his honor in his hands but he kiiiiinda fucked all that up and then the life shattering realization that brienne of all people maybe the only one to really understand him and also a terrible liar successfully tricked and betrayed him are going to cancel each other out and then he’s gonna make a stupid joke about how Catelyn Stark is back from the dead for more Jaime because she just couldn’t stay away. and then they’re gonna kill him.

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every time i cant beat a level in a video game i think about the fucking does that seem fair to you tweet

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X

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In this light she could almost be a beauty, he thought. In this light she could almost be a knight.

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if one person online says “you’re so real for this” it’s worth it. it’s enough

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FInally. Jacobi in a dress

btw the full page is up on p >:33

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varys the spiders less subtle than he used to be