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This is literally me if you even care. </3

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Ratting myself out.

How many bugs got ignored or introduced or marked as resolved/fixed on my watch? The answer is NONE because i’m not watching the bugs! I’m shitposting here on company time!!!

Eerie Mojang Office Party was peak official event content

Look what it gives you

Evoker who really wants uppies.

Encouragement of anti-capitalist violence

Enrichment (to try to prevent violence)

Vindicators are also apparently responsible for the bug-fixing department as well. Mojang IT guys.

WEEEEE!!!!

Gay people

Gayer People (a lot of them do this pose and im living for it)

Get tubed, idiot. BYE!

And this Vindicator who just read the special instructions I sent him on how to blow up the whole facility.

(Also. You save Steve and they cry. Very important.)

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I had to trap this evoker in the hell dimension because he disrespected women.

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I’d burn down a woodland mansion if the pagan poetry horse told me to do it <3

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The collection I rescued from my shed. [Archie probably got kidnapped by the giant rats tho :( ]

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Mojang you are playing with fire here-

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"you won (accepts defeat with honor)"

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Look at my Bird Ladies (gender neutral) lore boy (also gender neutral)

Want to work on my vex/allay designs so bad but art is not happening rn so y’all are just gonna have to visualize with me here okay?

My vex lore. My beloved vex lore.

Quick summary: The word “Vex” is derived from “Vexillifera” meaning “flag or standard-bearer.” And was originally used by Illager Warriors in reference to the Allays we see in Minecraft Legends. “Allay” is also of a similar origin- from “Ala” meaning “wing.”

Both words are fittingly very closely related to units on the battlefield from what I did see when looking into the etymology there, but additionally, since in Legends we see “build” and “gather” allays, this could associate them with words perhaps used by the players. Particularly “ally, and rally.” I’m playing off of the idea that war gives a lot of opportunities for languages to mix, be misheard, misinterpreted, etc.

Over time the word “vex” became synonymous with, well, vexing and “allay” became, well, allaying.

I’ll be going further in depth under the cut. Because there is a lot to go into here. (Because I’m so unhealthy about them.) It’ll have to be in multiple parts.

So as was mentioned prior the word vex came from vexillifera, pluralized as “vexilliferae” which over time was shortened to “vex” and occasionally “faerie.” Additionally allay eventually became a more commonly used term with increased interactions between players and other mobs.

The “flag-bearing” part was in reference to the literal flag-like extension on their wings. Think standard or pennant-winged nightjar. A little extra magic will help keep them airborne cause obviously these were not useful for flight.

image credit: X

That’s the big part. But of course I have to go further into tiny shit like why they have no legs- It’s because Mojang drives me insane with everything they do and I know that’s because they hate me in particular. Unfortunately for them there is a bird for everything- and by taking their legs they have only further enabled my crazy ass.

Apodimorphae: basically the big bunch of birds that contains swifts, treeswifts, hummingbirds, and conveniently also the fucking nightjars (see above.) They’re all right there. In the superorder that literally means “no feet.” I really hate it here.-

Especially since if you look at the way vexes and allays hold themselves, (and also spend an excessive amount of time looking at birds and not getting killed by said vexes) you’d get the idea that these little feathered freaks are pretty well-suited for a primarily airborne lifestyle. Particularly in that they hover, and are (especially with vexes) extremely agile and maneuverable.

The primarily upright posture is a big give away when I look at them, but as we often see with Allays, they are capable of adjusting that posture without issue, and it often correlates with speed. Also vexes have a “rolling” ability in dungeons. It’s actually them just doing little backflips and it’s probably more of an idle animation. Either way, thats another point for hovering-based flight as far as i’m concerned.

Back to the “no feet” part. I would be inclined to believe they have very short legs which they generally keep tucked out of sight. In modern base-game vex, what we see is their tail, used to aid in quick turns for combat. While with allays they keep their legs tucked below garments or longer feathers. Take your pick .

Additionally on the subject of feathers, they, and maybe a little magic as a treat :), can explain the color change in angered vexes. (Because I hate the idea of them being cracks so much I want to kill whoever thought that was a good idea with hammers. Sometimes I’ll use veins for certain aspects but I much prefer this.)

Iridescence. (Anna’s Hummingbird my beloved.) This video doesn’t show it too well but when they want to show their iridescence, because they can and do adjust their feathers to convey messages, they show it, and it gets really bright.

Have a really old photo I took of one. It does not do these guys justice.

Also a lot of species of hummingbirds are named after weapons. (Swords, daggers, sickles. Y’know, sharp things.)

And the bird aspect can explain a few more things. Firstly, the mouth. Mojang took the vexes teeth away because they’re so mean. I grieved for a long time but then realized maybe they just closed their mouth-

Example: Common Swift: Tiny mouth?

Image credit: X

no… twas a lie!: BIG MOUTH!

Image credit: X

A more human face covered by feathers or gear and you would never know theres teeth until it’s too late. But it’s always too late. Because vexes (and allays) also have a higher flicker fusion threshold than most mobs. They see the world in slow motion, and this has lead to their reputation as hair-pin triggers or even simply spontaneous attackers. More than likely, if a vex bit their Evoker’s hand seemingly out of nowhere, they had a reason. They can pick up on extremely subtle visual cues that no one else can, often giving the appearance of mind-readers. They also can see well into the ultra-violet spectrum. But I’ll get into that later.

A quick note: I do have a general idea as why summoned vexes disappear or “die.” Somewhere along the lines of “hummingbirds kinda suck and starve to death really fast translating to when summoned for certain purposes they may run out of energy depending on the spell.” Because base-game and guardian vexes (minecraft dungeons) dipping out after a set time but allays and dungeons vexes not doing that is pretty neat. I can and will think way too much about all of it.

I’m gonna do a part two for this with my old vex model, dungeons, seeking flame, and guardian vex stuffs, cause there’s things in there that I gotta unpack.

Anyways have a bonus picture of this Lazuline Sabrewing I found when looking for reference species. Vex being held by Evoker for her crimes. She will commit them again.

edit: it would appear the nightjars are still being argued over- please for the love of fuck can someone decide how close to keep them to apodiformes. I cannot find a consistent placement for them. It hurts me. Either way Apodi or not they are still right next to each-other so it’s whatever. My point still stands.

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Welp, Fun's Over Guys. Pack It Up.

Bedrock Edition is officially unplayable

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The prev post was inspired by Evokers reminding me of Rain World but not in any other sense besides the amount of absolutely priceless encounters I've had as a result of their ai.

I can't tell you how many times I have seen an Evoker launch themself off of a cliff or other elevated platform as a result of their insane speed modifiers combining with their flee from player goal.

It was bad in mansions and it's even worse during raids. I step ever so slightly too close and the next thing I know I'm looking down at a totem at the bottom of a canyon. Very Rain World.

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Minecraft Snapshot -128w10a

(come on Mojang you know you want to hire me)

Additions:

New Music Discs

"yeah"

just two hours of perfectly cut Minecraft screams.

A second new Music Disc titled "core" which is the exact same audio as "yeah" except it has "QKThr" playing over it.

-These discs are not dropped by creepers nor are they obtainable by any other previous means of generated loot.

-Instead they have a random chance to appear in any previously opened chest or used jukebox that has an open inventory slot.

-No externally noticeable indication will be given that the disc has been added to the block, and no block update output will be picked up by any form of detector.

-This can only once in any given chunk in per world.

Events

Tripping

Certain mobs that naturally flee from players within a certain range now have a chance to trip and fall. These mobs include:

-Evoker

Mobs

Miros Vulture

-miros vulture.

Commands

New command "dmm"

Stands for "Direct Message Mob"

Players in spectator and creative can now send direct messages to non-player mobiles.

-They can't respond but they will see it.

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Feedback is greatly appreciated. You can send it here -> 💥

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Well you see… ingredience.

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Minecraft fact! Illagers are actually motivated by sleep deprivation-induced rage because Mojang decided that they get all these big fucking beds but only three of them (the last two images) are usable because the rest of them aren’t touching a fucking wall. Not even the headboard which is all they needed to do.

Their society being built around who has the and takes the most power is actually about who can push the others out of the bed and not get pushed off in turn. Vindicators were big strong to push eachother and then Evokers just enlisted vex to do that job for them. Lack of meaningful sleep will turn anyone rancid I promise you.

Also Pillagers do not exist in mansions because they smell. They can operate slightly better outside without beds because they’re running on nothing but pure adrenaline and the two potatoes in the outpost chest.

Source -Illager told me. Trust.

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Positive affirmation! Your villager trading hall and raid farms are NOT violations of the geneva convention!

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Five years later and still the only video that has gotten these four right, ever.

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📣🩵🪽heh- Hey everyone! Guess what!? I know you want me to give you the secrets to eternal life-. But FUCK YOU! I’m keeping the secrets to eternal life. That’s right you ugly little man- (🐨) I HATE YOU!!! and your stupid nose! I’m taking everything from you!- GIVE ME YOUR TOTEM.

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Yeah the call to draw is loud but the Trello boards for my ocs and lore are louder.