minervamoon66

[minervamoon66]

Chapters: 9/10 Fandom: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV), Victor Victoria (1982) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), King Marchand/Carole "Toddy" Todd Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), King Marchand, Norma Cassidy, Carole "Toddy" Todd Additional Tags: Romance, Historical Inaccuracy, Female-Presenting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Jealous Crowley (Good Omens), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Accidental Voyeurism, Suicidal Thoughts, Period-Typical Homophobia Summary:

All angels can sing, simple fact. A God-given gift as it were. A voice perfectly suited for celestial harmonies. But what came out of Aziraphale’s mouth was not a celestial harmony. It was pure sin-and-seduction jazz.

    Crowley was given the assignment to guard an up-and-coming gangster in Chicago. When that assignment takes him to Paris, he comes face-to-face with the angel he hasn't spoken to in over seventy years.

Aziraphale had an assignment that didn't go according to plan. Now she's in Paris as a fake female impersonator, which brings her back into the orbit of a certain demon.

The two are finally going to talk things out, or they would if a certain up-and-coming gangster wasn't getting in the way.

[minervamoon66]

I don't do a lot of political reblogging, and while I hope it's already obvious from my writing, I just wanted to make it crystal clear anyway: this is a trans-friendly blog, and terfs are not welcome here.

Trans rights are human rights.

[minervamoon66]

A long time ago I read a Bible, flipping though it looking for all mentions of wolves and dogs (I was working on a story about a religious werewolf at the time), and I remember coming across a story about a man meeting an angel. It said the man saw a young, handsome guy (the angel) and “followed the dog”.

I didn’t get it at the time. Why did they call the angel a dog?

Many years later I learned that “dog” is Biblical slang for a common male prostitute, so apparently the angel was posing as, well, a male prostitute for some reason.

I can for the life of me not remember in which book and I’ve tried searching for it but haven’t been able to find it. I definitely remember reading it though because it stuck out as being weird to me at the time.

Also, because I’m terrible I used Medieval angel art as inspiration for this.

EDIT: Angels being sexless is a later idea. In the Bible they are definitely men with dicks. That’s where nephilim come from.

[minervamoon66]

The Riddler hijacks the local TV airwaves and appears onscreen holding a comically long roll of paper. After dramatically clearing his throat, he proceeds to read from it.

“The following is a list of people who can suck it. Number One: The Joker. I don’t think I need to explain that one. Number Two: Cluemaster. Fuck you, you stole my bit, and I will be like a plague unto your house. Number Three: King Tut. You also stole my bit, but did it while killing people and got me arrested for murder. Also, I’m, like, 93% sure you’re a white guy and your costume is racist.

“Number Four: The Scarecrow. I know you ate my leftover Chinese, Jon, even though I wrote my name on it. I was saving that for lunch. I had to eat a goddamn peanut butter and jelly sandwich like a five-year-old. It was all you had in the hideout. For fuck’s sake, go shopping, not all of us can live like a bridge troll.

“Number Five: The Penguin. You- No, no, wait, wait… That one should be crossed out. He replaced that and apologized. Never mind, Oswald, you’re fine. Drinks at 7:00 tomorrow, right?

“Anyway, where was…? Ah, yes. Number Six: The Mad Hatter. You carded me and left me like that for six hours because I, and I quote, ‘would not stop talking about Mythbusters.’ Well, excuse me for trying to make intellectually stimulating conversation on a level you could understand. I suppose every time you prattle on about mome raths and borogoves it’s goddamn Shakespeare? Well… Well, it’s Carroll, but… Oh, you know what I mean!

“Number Seven: Catwoman. You left me hanging by one hand from a ledge five stories up and holding a twenty-pound bag of jewels and very pointy  objets d'art while you ‘distracted’ the Dark Knight. I know you were making out with him, Selina. You were gone for fifteen minutes. My shoulder almost dislocated. Very unprofessional.

“Number Eight: Kite Man.”

Here the Riddler pauses, lifting his narrowed gaze to glare at the camera, voice dropping to an ominous tone.

“You know what you did…”

His demeanor shifts quickly, and he’s back to reading from his list almost cheerfully.

“Number Nine! Th-”

He’s interrupted by a crashing noise in the background and looks over his shoulder just an instant before a deep voice angrily growls, “Riddler!”

“Oh, for the love of-” He turns to glare at the camera, speaking quickly. “Number Nine: Batman! Interrupting me while I’m on television making very important- Hm-mmph!”

He’s reduced to muffled curses as a black gloved hand covers his mouth and pulls him out of frame. The camera tilts, a cracking noise is heard, and the broadcast turns to static.

[minervamoon66]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), Haunting, POV Outsider, Established Relationship Summary:

Thanks again to chewb for beta'ing this for me.

For @zadusk

[minervamoon66]

pssst, mike pence is beelzebub lord of the flies pass it on

Beelzebub is so much hotter. And smarter. And more trustworthy. 

[minervamoon66]

Louder for the people in the back!

Why is it always ‘queer people are projecting their identities onto characters’ and never ‘straight people are presuming that their identity is the default’?

[minervamoon66]

"cannibalism aside" life goals

Okay Cannibalism aside

snooty, pampered man who wears designer clothes and attends the opera and hosts five-course dinners with those in the academic community who respect and envy him while he quotes Archaic Latin at them

falling for

outdoorsy, cabin-living fly fisherman who hasn’t combed his hair in probably five years, wears nothing but comfy sweaters and adopts stray dogs constantly until he has a pack of them following him at all times

is like the greatest dynamic

[minervamoon66]

Absolutely!  Everyone welcome here!

please reblog this if your blog is safe for asexuals

(an ace safe space)

[minervamoon66]

Snektember Day One: Sunbathing. 

@puppy-bums @writingelizabeth

[minervamoon66]

If none of them married, how desperate would the Bennett girls actually have been?

Well the only dowry they have is £50 apiece from their mother’s small inheritance, per year; so that’s a total of £250 generated by Mrs. Bennet’s inherited investments per annum.

The Dashwoods (four women) are living on £500 a year when they are forced to live in Barton Cottage (with good-will making the rent presumably ridiculously low thanks to Sir John Middleton’s good nature, to say nothing of all the dinners and outings he invites the ladies to, which will help them economize on housekeeping costs for heavier meals.)

So there would be six Bennet women left to live on half as much as the Dashwoods are barely scraping by on. £250 is roughly considered enough to keep ONE gentleman at a barely-genteel level of leisure (presuming he does not keep a horse or estate or have any major expenses beyond securing his own lodgings/clothes/meals at a level becoming of a gentleman.)

None of the Bennet girls have been educated well enough for them to be governesses to support themselves, so…yes, their situation would heavily rely on mega-charity from others to just help them survive, much less maintain them in the lifestyle they’ve been accustomed to. The Dashwood women have NO social life beyond the outings provided by Sir John and the offer of Mrs. Jennings to host the older girls in London–otherwise they’d be stuck in their cottage, meeting absolutely no eligible men, creating a cycle of being poor and unmarried and too poor to meet anyone with money they could marry.

If the Bennet girls don’t at least have ONE of them marry well enough to help the rest before their father dies, they are really, truly, deeply fucked.

They may joke about beautiful Jane being the saviour of the family, but…it’s true. Mr. Bennet failed his daughters several times over in A) presuming he’d have a son, B) not saving money independently from his income to support his family after his death when it became clear he wasn’t going to have a son, C) not educating them well enough to enable them to support themselves in even in the disagreeable way of being a governess, D) not making any effort to escort his daughters to London or even local assemblies to help their matrimonial chances because he just doesn’t feel like it, E) throwing up his hands and shrugging when faced with the crises of Mr. Collins and Wickham.

Much as we are relieved on a romantic level that Mr. Bennet’s support of Elizabeth saves her from parental pressure to accept Mr. Collins, Mrs. Bennet is NOT A DICK for pushing for the match, because on a material level it very much means they get to KEEP THEIR HOUSE and gain a connection to the powerful patron Lady Catherine de Bourgh, which could be VERY advantageous for the other unmarried girls.

And the scandal of Wickham very nearly scuppers the chances of ANY of the other girls, and Wickham is a further DRAIN on the family finances, not a man who is going to substantially be able to support them. It is SUCH a disaster, and of course there’s not much Mr. Bennet can do until they are found, but he’s away in London and doing…what, exactly? Mr. Gardiner takes over and manages everything and Mr. Bennet seems happy to just let him.

Mr. Bennet does the ABSOLUTE LEAST, and actively damages his children’s futures by his inaction AND by his one action to support Lizzie’s individual needs being prioritized over the collective gain, which…I mean, Lizzie is going to be JUST as homeless and destitute as her sisters when he dies, so much good being Dad’s Favourite is going to do her. :/

[minervamoon66]

Chapters: 7/9 Fandom: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV), Victor Victoria (1982) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), King Marchand/Carole "Toddy" Todd Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), King Marchand, Norma Cassidy, Carole "Toddy" Todd Additional Tags: Romance, Historical Inaccuracy, Female-Presenting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Jealous Crowley (Good Omens), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Accidental Voyeurism, Suicidal Thoughts Summary:

All angels can sing, simple fact. A God-given gift as it were. A voice perfectly suited for celestial harmonies. But what came out of Aziraphale’s mouth was not a celestial harmony. It was pure sin-and-seduction jazz.

   Crowley was given the assignment to guard an up-and-coming gangster in Chicago. When that assignment takes him to Paris, he comes face-to-face with the angel he hasn't spoken to in over seventy years.

Aziraphale had an assignment that didn't go according to plan. Now she's in Paris as a fake female impersonator, which brings her back into the orbit of a certain demon.

The two are finally going to talk things out, or they would if a certain up-and-coming gangster wasn't getting in the way.

[minervamoon66]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Disposable Demon/Hoverboard Angel Characters: Disposable Demon (Good Omens), Hoverboard Angel Additional Tags: Fluff, Meet-Cute, First Crush Summary:

“So? I held up my end of the bargain,” said the demon, stepping closer. His voice pitched lower as he added, “Your turn.”

Written for the Go-Events NTA Round 7:Rare Pairs

And now I ship them.

[minervamoon66]

aziraphale: crushes are the worst

crowley: yeah, whenever i'm near someone i have a crush on, i start acting stupid

aziraphale: you're always acting stupid, crowley

crowley: yup, don't think about that too hard

[minervamoon66]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Wingfic, Wings, Wing Grooming, Established Relationship, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens) Summary:

Crowley watched Aziraphale close the last of the drapes, standing there in only his shirt and trousers, then pad across the carpet on his bare feet. He felt a swell of contented joy at the sight, at the all of it. They were here. It might have taken the whole of their Earthly existence and a near-Apocalypse, but they’d made it. They were here. They were safe. And, most importantly, they were together.

“You first, Angel,” said Crowley, patting the chair beside the wine.

“Are you sure?” asked Aziraphale as he always did. “I don’t mind grooming you first.”

  Unapologetic domestic fluff with a side of emotion.

[minervamoon66]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Warlock Dowling & Adam Young Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Warlock Dowling, Adam Young (Good Omens), Hastur (Good Omens), Ligur (Good Omens), Gabriel (Good Omens), Anathema Device, Newton Pulsifer, Madame Tracy (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Human, ISU Grand Prix of Figure Skating, There's A Tag For That, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary:

Funny how life can change your plans.

Twenty years ago Anthony Crowley and Aziraphale Eastley were two rising stars in the Figure Skating word. Now Aziraphale is coaching Adam Young for Britain and Crowley finds himself agreeing to coach Warlock Dowling for the U.S.

As their skaters confront each other on the ice, these two will confront old emotions, and possibly rekindle a few.

[minervamoon66]

“There’s a snake in my flute!”

NO YOU CANT DO THAT