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#<3#been a minute#2 super secret digicam pictures for the dash board .#i cant believe its been 1 month on hormones already (yesterday)#it feels like ive been seeing in color for the first time#i have been feeling so deeply it is almost overwhelming#both of these i made recently circles less rec ently but i recorded everything and .#made a full song in cakewalk but then recorded the full song to cassette once it was done and then recorded that back to cakewalk#second one is a beat i made quick today thats just impeach the president by the honey drippers chopped up thats the only audio#made it in like an hour and a half but it was as electrifying as when i made possession over the summer#i love smampling :)#ive had so much trouble doing anything recently winter break was so hard but ive been feeling so much more free now#it felt good to get back at it ive really missed writing#ive been liking these small session that yield just like 30 seconds to 1 minute of song i feel like its been much better to practice ideas#ith that#anyways ill be seeing you#end communication#communitygardens
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started taking pictures on a digicam and this blog is absolutely not ready for it
#ive been trying to stay Off Line recently and have been having hobbies just for myself#wonderful really#i liked this little online diarytho#maybe ill come back to it or maybe ill make a neocities or actually use my flickr#idk#lots has happened#hopefully more will happen#im starting hormones. unfuckingreal#<3#^_^#maybe ill post a wee bit but ill keep my favorites to myself >:3 theyre of my hubby anyway ( we arenot married imlying)
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he liked the plushie ^_^ yahoo wahoo
#he said it was 'sick as hell'#i was worried over nothing ! and now i have learned my lesson !#he named them Pawl
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beast is slain after a long and difficult battle
1/10/24
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beast in my home 1/10/24
#crochet#communitygardens#made this for a friend for his birthday#i started it a week before his birthday and now its almost 2 months overdue !!#i messed up putting the paws on.#and the shape isnt what i had hoped.#i hope he likes it i made a bear because he used to send me a lot of bear edits on instagram#like sped up footage of bears the animal#i feel like weve kind of fallen out of touch a bit and im worried this is too much for how distant we are now#i need to end this on a happy note!this is the biggest thing ive ever crocheted and i finished it!i made a piece of art!wow!^_^#i just finished it today!
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1/9/24
#snow#i need to reach out to my friends. ive retreated into myself#its disheartening how when i was typing that the popular autocompletes were about losing weight!#you need to gain more weight! everyone should be fat amen .#i think im too vain#ive been like inspecting myself everytime i pass a mirror.#i feel more coherent . like i feel notably farther into my transition. i never thought i could have hair this long#.#but at the same time its hard understanding that i occupy any physical space. i feel like im going to wake up at any moment#much to unpack .
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1/9/24 , 12/17/23
#i hsould exercise more and go outside .#i need to become more comfortable at taking pictures as well i only ever take pictures of things in my own yard i mever go anywhere#i m want to get an early digital camera maybe. well see how that pans out#i listened to coaltar of the deepers for the first time today ^_^ theyve been on my radar for a little bit and#it was just about as inspiring as when i heard for the whole world to see for the first time#which is high praise coming from me . it s creatively reinvigorating . electrifying. hearing bands like that
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1/9/24
#ginger :)#i wish instagram would let you post a song longer than 15 swconds on ur story#i posted the first picture with look away by deerhoof like why cant you just post all 11 minutes ?#i instruct anyone who sees this to look at the pictures and lisyten to look away by deerhoof .ok#it snowed yesterday and i made minestrone from (nearly) scratch (save for tomato paste theres no way im making tomato paste.)#it turned out so well ^_^ its always a joy to make something for other peopele . i feel like my Humanity is Restored whenever i make som4th#ing like that. like a hearty meal#hope i found the Geeks and Gamers in the Crowd with that one <-has never played dark souls#i got some pictures of the snow and in the snow that ill pst tnite too ^_^ ive never spelled tonight that way but yuo have to try new thing#s
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11/21/22
#hi its been a while#i want to get back on here and have a bit of maybe a diary one might say maybe .#i feel like sisyphus pushing that damn rock up that damn hill but if he was a hot woman or something .#i recently watched david lynch talkign abou iphone and i got whats david working on today recommended#and it was so compelling that i watched that whole playlist in one sitting and i think it changed me permanently#i finally cleaned my closet and i found an old minecraft poster that hung in my room when my brother and i shared a room#and when i was still his brother#i feel like im wearing someone else' s skin#i dont know who bea is#im trying to figure out. maybe this will help#i thik i need therapy .#this song is from quite a while ago. im really proud of the bass in it and it was one of the first songs that i#ifinished where i used my grandmother's synth#she was so present in my life but i hardly remember anything about her.#end communication
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#more of the stuff i alluded to in my last post#this is what i originally wrote with the sample i isolated the drum tracks because i dont like the point that the rest is at right now#challenging myself to write more in 7 and 5 and in ways that im not used to#i get comfortable in certain ideas and i stick to them whenever i write in certain time signatures and it really holds me back#this is a fun exercise#its nice to feel creative again#maybe its because i just had the strongest coffee i have ever made in my life#but i couldl do this al day !#had to choose a scary picture for this one so i chose the scariest most ghoulish image i have on my ghastly pc#can u tell ive been listening to a lot of 3l3d3p lately
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Smooth Knob-tailed Gecko (Nephrurus levis), family Carphodactylidae, Francois Peron National Park, Western Australia
photograph by Mick Fullerton Wildlife
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#trying 2 learn how to chop up drums#the sample is impeach the president bby the honey drippers#this was practice but i like how it turned out. i styaed up the entire night writing a bunch of drum patterns with this sample#also plume moth picture soooo cutes#my friend sent me some of the songs hes working on and it inspired me to try some new things im happuy with this
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9/22/2022
#demo from late last year#i love how bad it sounds and i was initially going to put it on an ep that im working on#but i dont want people to have the option to give me money for it#so it goes her#e#it has audio of my old acoustic guitar so with that in mind im kind of scared to rerecord any parts#songs with my old guitar are so sacred to me i dont want to touch anything about them#most of them are from a period around the time when i got my microphone#which was a time where i felt most creative in my life. i havent been able to capture that again. i spend a lot of time#just listening to old cakewalk projects#.#the plume moth picture is from august 8th of this year#cool bug i love plume moth <3 ^_^ (makes a heart with my hands)#i dont know why i called this morning but i tend to name cakewalk projects with temporary names and then they just stick#like ill name things dirt or hands or cat face or severe thunderstorm warning or she moving on my castle til i howl#(stole that last one from someone on here)#anywasy you can hear me turn off my amp at the end of the song i didnt notice that until i listened to it jsut now#that s fun isnt that fun#goodbye#communitygardens
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Dog
#this is a redraw of a picture i drew in my notes when i hadnt slept for i think like a day and a half??#might use this as the ep cover. im am quite fond of it#going to scan it maybe ill post the scan. maybe i wont post the scan. i dont owe you anything#might post more art if i feel like posting more art. this is the only thing ive drawn recently that i like. its from todaylike an hour ago#listened to the rotten opera and places we choose not to look they were both great !#i love the puzzle and enjoy albums from this year. the shears twins have a hold on me again
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