mirror-sua

[mirror-sua]

— Currently on Hiatus

❝ Zzz... ❞

[mirror-sua]

"You do?"

What could have been a mocking whisper is deadened by the lack of vitriol behind it. Listless blue eyes drift to the side, finding more interest in the dressing room behind than the figure in front.

She pauses when she spots a small navy bottle, but quickly loses interest when she sees that it's not hair dye.

"It isn't hard to guess when the only thing we care about right now is... her."

[Upon seeing Sua]

An indescribable feeling arose within her.

She couldn't tell if it was sadness... envy... despair, disgust, anger, empathy, hatred... love... pity... loss...

To the her who was also her, to the her who wasn't her, she didn't know what to say. But maybe... as a mere ghost, a shadowy image, a pale reflection, she had no right to say anything.

So "Sua" quietly watches her from the reflection in which she's trapped, unwilling to leave nor willing to speak.

. ˚　. Free for any Sua to interact // About

[mirror-sua]

"......Have you ever wanted her to lie? Have you... ever wanted to believe in a lie?"

Sua bites her lip. Regret floods her immediately but nothing could take back those words.

This is wrong.

She shouldn't have said anything. Hyun Woo isn't the one she truly wants to ask this question.

But what can she do?

It's an impulse given wings by the desperate aching she endures in the endless stream of time. An indulgence she released into the world in a moment of weakness.

There is a gaping hole in her chest now... and nothing seems to fill it up.

"Do I believe her...?" He never thought about that. He never questioned his mother simply because she wasn't there. "It depends."

Whether or whether not she lies. He can tell when she does since, she never tried to hide it. Though when she spoke of the collar and what the doctor had done, Phan spoke so firmly Hyun-Woo couldn't help but trust her words- just a little.

[mirror-sua]

The whir of the collar is an unpleasant background soundtrack to their conversation. A reminder that they're not truly alone.

A reminder that this version of Hyun Woo, the one who exists only now talking to her, can be reset at any moment.

"Do you believe her?" She asks peculiarly, unusually not trying to deliberately incite any turbulent feelings like she may intend in her less placid states. Mild distaste leaks into her expression as she stares at the collar's clunky form.

"Oh, this?" Hyun-Woo traces along the iron clasp, and it whirs with an incessant electric buzz. "It's my heart rate monitor. Mother says it's to keep me safe."

It did keep him safe, at least he thought it did. It kept his heart from shattering out of the thin skin lining his skin, merged with the metal that traced his skeleton, however it sent eerie shivers of sickness crawling up his spine.

[mirror-sua]

"I didn't laugh. Wasn't it just your imagination?"

Nonchalantly tossing over the obvious lie, Sua's eyes slides to the side like what'd just occurred had nothing to do with her. She hides a small smile behind her hand.

It was a strange feeling. Something different. Far from what she'd shared with... her — phantom pain rakes her mind with blunt nails as she wrests broken memories together to make sense of them, her expression unaffected as she's long gotten used to it — and not quite what she had with her unnie... or anyone else she's seen. She doesn't hate it per se.

To distract him, she asks, "What's that around your neck?"

"Eh?" Hyun-Woo blinked in confusion. "Why are you laughing?"

She was laughing like Hyuna did, ruffling his hair and laughing without any reason. He's unsure how exactly it's funny, is he that funny to look at?

[mirror-sua]

The drawn out silence coagulates around them like a thickening fog, a stiffling cold wrongness that neither have moved to break yet.

"Sua" takes her time studying the other her standing in front of the mirror, for they have all the time in the world, do they not?

The figure looking into the glass has delicate features that haven't aged, yet she wears fratigue on her shoulders, and a dimness in her eyes. She looks lost. All things that echoes within herself, all things she, too, can pull out of her chest and offer up for others to inspect. Perhaps walking the same path was inevitable for them, no matter the world.

For her, for "Sua," time has long since worn her down. All she seeks is the final solace.

But for her, for the other her... she wonders if this Sua still has some fight left yet within that pale husk.

[Upon seeing Sua]

An indescribable feeling arose within her.

She couldn't tell if it was sadness... envy... despair, disgust, anger, empathy, hatred... love... pity... loss...

To the her who was also her, to the her who wasn't her, she didn't know what to say. But maybe... as a mere ghost, a shadowy image, a pale reflection, she had no right to say anything.

So "Sua" quietly watches her from the reflection in which she's trapped, unwilling to leave nor willing to speak.

. ˚　. Free for any Sua to interact // About

[mirror-sua]

❝ I am... what you could be. ❞

❝ Are you afraid? ❞

[Upon seeing Sua]

An indescribable feeling arose within her.

She couldn't tell if it was sadness... envy... despair, disgust, anger, empathy, hatred... love... pity... loss...

To the her who was also her, to the her who wasn't her, she didn't know what to say. But maybe... as a mere ghost, a shadowy image, a pale reflection, she had no right to say anything.

So "Sua" quietly watches her from the reflection in which she's trapped, unwilling to leave nor willing to speak.

. ˚　. Free for any Sua to interact // About

[mirror-sua]

She feels the ghost of a touch with those words — a memory pulled from a shattered past. She could feel her somehow; the ghost with small hands holding endless indulgence for her sulky moods, and her beautiful green eyes that always sought her out with earnest concern.

As if compelled, Sua looks up, in search for her.

It's Hyun Woo who looks back.

Large hands.

Blue eyes.

But... someone who also looks at her with sincerity.

Sua purses her lips and says, "Lean over."

Without even waiting for him to react, she stands up and pulls his head down herself, proceeding to furiously and petulantly ruffle his hair. But her sickly arms hasn't even the strength to lift a thick book, so her touch only felt ticklish.

She steps away and looks at her work with satisfaction. The silliness of his messy appearance now startles a surprised laugh from her.

Is she crying? Talking to her, she never gave the image of vulnerability, yet here she is like a doll on the verge of breaking.

His eyebrows shoot up and he quickly rushes to comfort his new friend, "Uh, are you okay?"

[mirror-sua]

She jerks back, mouth pinched tightly shut. Unlike the lack of hesitance she showed before in broaching this topic, this time Sua's entire body tenses, holding herself stiff in an attempt to keep something contained, to keep something from pouring out uncontrollably. Her eyes quiver, eyelashes trembling.

She looks like she's about to cry.

As if uttering that person's name will break her apart.

"I would."

But that was never a choice of his, was it? No, that was a choice only she could make, and she didn't even know he was in here, waiting and counting every moment until the days the white walls are burned, and he is held in her arms once again.

"My turn." He pauses for a moment, "Do you miss someone, Sua?"

Does she miss someone like he misses her?

[mirror-sua]

❝ ...Cold. ❞

✨Angel Sua✨

[mirror-sua]

"Leave?"

Slowly, she rocks back and forth, in time to a unsung lullaby.

"I leave... sometimes," Sua manages, words coming out fragmented and stuttered, like puzzle pieces that don't fit together. It's an attempt to explain the inexplicable, put to words that which has no words — none that she would know. "When I want to. But is it really leaving? I never left. But I do. I can't. I'm not here. But I am."

She pauses. "I... I go looking for her. When it's too cold in here. I go looking for her."

She purses her lips, the inability to explain feeding into frustration.

Her eyes lower, a flicker of loss.

"I dream," she says, her final answer.

"Would you leave this place, if you had the choice?"

Was it a question with no meaning? Yes. Neither of them have that choice, even if for different reasons.

But is it a question that should be asked? Perhaps.

Perhaps perhaps.

There's a thought, a feeling, right at the tip of her tongue. She has a feeling that if she's able to grasp it, it would mean something. But that flash of something disappears just as quickly as it came.

"Sweet, definitely." Hyun-Woo nods contently at the thought. "I haven't had sweet food for a while... everything here is so plain, bland, boring."

Sterile, white tiles of nothing, an endless hallway he always walks, waiting for nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing—

"My turn. Have you ever left this place?" Hyun-Woo has, at least that's what he's led to believe. Sometimes, he remembers dark alleyways of grime, the streetlights of the city looming down over him, his hands stained with black ink. His eye twitches a little at the thought, "Do you think they'll ever let us out of this place?"

He never understood his mother, why she needed him, what use could she still have after all these years. He never understood Them either. They'd always have him close his eyes and slumber as they opened his chest, checking for something.

There's a buzzing in his eyes and in his ears.

[mirror-sua]

"Ah, regrets..." The dark-haired girl says knowingly, her words soft as a feather. A pale imitation of sympathy veils her voice. "It's a sin we're all familiar with. We're only human after all."

"But have you ever asked youself..."

The phantom in the mirror locks eyes with the woman, hallow stare refusing to let her look away. She sinks the claws of her inquiry deep.

"...If you would do it all the same again, given the chance?"

"Ah, of course. How ignorant of me. You aren't her, are you?" Luka says, a soft, and sorrow filled smile forming on her face.

She stares off to the side, eyes going unfocused, as if she was reliving something in her mind.

"You remind me of someone. Someone who has a loved one they care for deeply. I harmed their loved one, to save myself..." A frown envelopes her face, wiping off the previous smile.

"...I don't think I'd ever forgive myself, so I thought maybe I could ask you for forgiveness, since you're just so much like her, and yet... not..." Her voice trails off as she continues staring at the wall, avoiding the face in the mirror.

Finally, she sighs slowly, exhaling, and turns to face the mirror. "How stupid of me, is it not?"

[mirror-sua]

It's a strange and disconcerting scene that plays out in front of the girl seated on the floor. Among all of the sights she's seen, this isn't the most out of place, particularly so in this facility.

Yet.

She takes him in in all of his pitiful glory, drawing basic conclusions from what little she's seen.

The Hyun Woo who sits there seems to be a toy with no future. They've set the railways and should he topple over or leave those tracks, they simply pick him up and set him right back where he was. With a single collar, they've managed to deny him both a past he's not allowed to recall, and the future he's not allowed to retain. He's allowed only the quagmire of the present to struggle against....

In more ways than one, Hyun Woo has even less freedom than she does.

Sua looks away. She closes her ominous eyes and lays her head upon her knees again. A stray strand of hair brushes carelessly against her cheek.

She responds without looking, "I asked, sweet or plain?"

"Are you awake right now?" Hyun-Woo tilts his head at the sudden question, pausing for a moment to think. "If you aren't awake, then I'm not either, haha!"

(Ÿ̷͖́O̵͚͐Ù̴͇'̷͖̀R̸̗̀E̶̻͐ ̶̞̆A̶͚͝W̵̦̾Ä̵̫́K̵̹̓É̶̮ ̴̲̆R̶̛͍I̷͚̿G̴̻̿H̸̞̅Ṭ̶̏ ̶̛͓Ň̶̫Ő̶̲W̵̨̿.̵̝̒)

He flinches and looks around, "Did you hear that?"

(Y̴̢͝Ô̸̞U̷͍͆'̸̲̓R̷̠͗E̶̪͝ ̷̙͊A̵̺͒W̸̘̃A̸͍̍K̴͍͝E̸̫͠!̷̬́)

The collar around his neck whirs at the acceleration of his heart, a high ringing echoing through his ears before a brief pain shot through his neck.

(Ĉ̶̲O̶̟͝G̸̯͋N̷̳̏I̸̦͆T̶̟͑I̷̠͝V̷̝̕Ë̶̳ ̵̢̉A̵̰̍W̶̩̎Ǎ̶̦R̸̝̀Ȇ̵̦Ǹ̴͉E̴̺̊Š̴̗S̵̬̆.̶̦̈́.̴̥͑.̴̘̂ ̷̜͗S̴̖̏H̵̖͌U̵̜̓T̷̥̋T̷̻̐Ï̵̻Ǹ̶̘G̵̳̓ ̵̤́D̸̡̚Ö̸̦W̴̬̋Ņ̸̓ ̶͇̊Ṇ̶̒E̸͚͊U̴̬͐R̶̝̊A̶̲͋L̶̲̔ ̴̢́F̵̦̆U̴͔͒Ņ̸̑Ć̸̲T̸̗̂Ï̶̦Ǒ̵̳Ñ̸̙!̸̱̽)

"Ah..." His eyes rolled back into his head, and in a convulsing mess he slumped over.

(A̷̢͝U̶̲͗T̸̗̊O̵̰̓M̸̬͂A̶̯̋T̸̼͐E̷͕͐D̵̩͌ ̶͐͜R̸̼͒E̴̙̅S̸̭̄E̸͙̚T̴̡̏ ̶͓̓Ḯ̵̯N̵̯͘ ̶̪͊P̸̮̃R̸͚̐O̴̠̓C̶̗̊E̵̟͝S̷̼͋Ś̵̹.̸͙̐.̸͎̈́.̷̠̅)

(C̸̥̑O̴̬̽G̷͔̓N̵͔͝I̴̤͘T̵̳̉I̵̯͘V̸̠͗E̷̙̅ ̸̘̃R̷̖̆Ẻ̷̬S̴̜̚E̴̯̐T̴̜̓ ̵̨͆C̶̒ͅȎ̶̡M̵̳͝P̸̤͒L̷͓̈́E̸̠͘T̸̜̈́E̴̻̾!̸͔̓)

They left him in a white room with a door and a girl. He doesn't know why they're allowing this. His mother seemed perfectly fine keeping him away from any other human beings for years on end however things have changed it seems.

No. He shakes his head as he props himself up by his elbows. He's been here the entire time. This is new.

He blinks, once twice at the girl in front of him as he sits up. "Huh. What... what did you ask me earlier?"

[mirror-sua]

Her lip trembles at the sound of "my Mizi" but says nothing. She clutches the dark, miserable feeling close and swallows it whole.

What does jealousy matter?

What does pride matter?

What does the brittle heart of a long broken doll matter?

Only the alive and the free could help Mizi... And there is nothing more she could do now. Her road ended that night on the floor of that stage, amidst a pool of blood. Or it should have.

The sensation of phantom syringes and ghastly scapels ghosts across her skin.

"Is it enough right now?" "Sua" asks, no louder than a whisper. But her next words are backed with mounting emotion — desperation seeking a confirmation, a promise.

She faces Hyuna as two people, among many, who have seen more than they ever should have, and her voice quivers.

"Can she survive?"

From the floor, the older woman seems to shift again, hands resting themselves at her waist comfortably as she leans her back against the thick, clear box. Her expression remains blank, but she finds it easy to fake an excitable tone to her voice. Her specialty had always been mimicry.

"Yeah, she's gotten real sassy since I took her in," Hyuna began, sighing to herself as she shut her eyes. "She fits in pretty well and helps out with just about anything. Good ideas, good jokes, she's a fun drinking buddy."

She's also struggling severely, however. Mizi may be headstrong, but she's ass at telling people what's bothering her.

A lot like somebody I once knew.

Hyuna thinks back to a time her and Mizi had been practically at one anothers throats verbally, when words that were never meant were spat out, angry tears that left the eyes burning for hours were shed, leaving cheeks feeling tight yet sticky, disgusting. Mizi had stormed off after spitting curses that rang in Hyuna's ears for hours.

They've long since made their peace by now, of course.

"... Yeah," Hyuna muttered at that last note, turning to look at the crushed, lifeless Sua, the same girl she once practically raised.

"I'm taking good care of her... she's not going down without a good fight, I know my Mizi."

[mirror-sua]

"Here?" The girl tilts her head, gaze blank as she searches the distant past.

"Maybe the same," she says. "Time was the first thing they took from me."

Adrift between realities, she's spent a long, long time anchored only by the scattered moments spent strapped down to a lab table. Instruments of torment glinted from where they hung above her, cold metallic surface hard against her back below. When she was lucky, she passed out and entered the embrace of nothingness. And the next time she opened her eyes, it all started again.

"How long had I slept? How could I tell if I was awake? Pain... pain used to be the only way to know, but now pain follows me even in my dreams."

It had stopped at some point, and all that greets her is this room. But sometimes she still couldn't tell.

"Hyun Woo." The shape of the name felt unfamiliar to her mouth. It doesn't bother her. Sua looks at him, a hint of the lost child within her surfacing. "Am I awake right now?"

"Sua." He smiles. "You remind me of someone I used to know!"

He knows the name of who he wants to mention, Luka. However there's a look in the girl's eyes that makes him keep quiet and change topic.

"How long have you been here?" He'd never gotten to interact with any human but the robots and the occasional seygein. Mother always told him that there were no humans in this facility, but maybe the existence of others slipped her mind. She never stayed long and never asked the staff about the place after all. "I've been here for a while. Fifteen— no, was it twenty years? Agh! I don't remember anymore, haha!"

[mirror-sua]

Her body leans forward unconsciously, drinking in every word like precious rainwater amidst a ceaseless drought. No light can be held within those hallow eyes, but this... these sparse specks of her star are enough to sustain her.

The picture Hyuna paints of the girl she knew comes together in patient strokes. It tells the story of a Mizi who's lost her long tresses. A girl who'll encounter danger time and time again, yet one able to continue walking down the thorny path of survival. Time and experience has made her a little older, more mature, and brought her to a point where she's able to again build a family with the people around her.

A Mizi who can no longer be held within her arms and sheltered from the abysmal world they inhabit.

"There was a time," she says faintly, "when 'I' would have accepted a reunion in ď̶̨͔̖͕̪͖̫̈́͗̓̂̏̿͘͘ͅe̵̞̹͋̆͌̈̈́̊̓̈́͌͝a̴͖͒͐̅̉̍̊͌̊͜t̵̳̜̟͙̯͔̠̆̆h̴̼̜̺̦͂̈ ... To grasp her hand again in a world free of pain..."

How could she not? This hope, a dark, deformed flower it may have been, was still the most beautiful thing to be nurtured from the polluted soil of their cage.

"But—... If she was able to escape our fate," a miracle, one called Hyuna, "then I want her to... I need her to live."

A tanned hand raised itself, fingers clapsing around the arm of a pair of sunglasses that were pushed up and into thick, brown bangs, exposing a pair of ice grey eyes. She knew it was far too late, that didn't need to be brought up any further. No amount of pitiful explanation would change the way she couldn't have saved the girl before her.

"How is she?" Cue the echo of soft clicks as the small heels of combat boots tapped the floor, the rebellion leader making her way to the glass confining the small girl.

Yes, girl. This was Sua to her. This was one of the many children that had looked up to her years prior, back when everybody was full of life, back when the younger girl had a yearning for knowledge, and a knack for arts and crafts.

She sighed softly, crouching down and seating herself by the casing.

"... Mizi's doing great," She lied through her teeth, slapping a smile on with a soft laugh. "Everyone treats her like a sister, they love her to bits," It was a fond tone that left her, "She cut her hair on accident during an altercation, and she's pretty fit now... She's really grown up."

[mirror-sua]

Take us both....

"Sua" closes her eyes and immerses herself in that daydream for a moment, one of a world far away where such a thing came to be. A moment later, though how long it's been within her inner world unintelligible, she opens them again.

"But... it's too late now." For me, goes unspoken.

She runs a finger along her arm, thin and sickly and changed in a way that... deems her no longer human. No matter what she may have been, too much has happened for her to remain the same. (If what was there was even human in the first plac—)

She doesn't linger on bygones long passed, for there were more important things to find in this moment. Something she yearns for far more than an old, tattered daydream.

"How is she...?" "Sua" asks, grasping at what pink stardust to be found in this transient encounter.

[Upon seeing Hyuna]

"Sua" doesn't say anything for a long moment, before finally, she opens her mouth.

"Thank you for being there for her when she needed you."

Her voice is quiet, but sincere and true.

"For being there for her..." — she bites down on her lip, eyes smoldering with sorrow, unwillingness, jealousy — "...when I couldn't."

. ˚　. Free for any Hyuna to interact // About