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Monty: you know, Effie and I are having a baby.

Sirius: oh my god congratulations that’s-

Effie: *slams papers in front of him* it’s you. sign here.

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“james falls for people who are mean to him”

regulus falls for people who are so nice to him that he doesn’t know what to do with himself

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James: *trying to talk to Regulus* So uh Regulus what do you like to do?

Sirius: He likes Quidditch

James: *nodding* So Regulus uh what else do you like to do besides Quidditch?

Sirius: He reads

James: *to Sirius* Would you PLEASE STOP

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Sirius: What are we doing?

Peter: Wasting our lives

Sirius: I meant for lunch.

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Westruper Heide, Germany by clara.tardis

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*sometime in 1980*

James: So Moony, when were you going to tell us about you and Pads?

Remus: So Prongs, when were you going to tell us about you and R-

James: *tackles Remus to the ground and puts a hand over his mouth* don’t you dare, wolf-boy.

Remus: *gets away from James* Still a touchy subject I see…

James: Why are you bringing this up?It ended two years ago! I haven’t seen him since! Don’t go telling everyone now…especially in front of…our present company…

Lily: Oh I don’t care about your past relationships, James! You can tell me, I won’t get angry or anything. I’m sure whoever he happens to be was a very nice guy!

Remus: …

James: it wasn’t you we were worried about…

*everyone slowly looks towards Sirius*

Sirius: *stops eating his cupcake* …what?

Lily: *realises* …ah…

James and Remus: …yeah…

Sirius: *confused* …what? ………why would me finding out about who James has- OH! JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER YOU LITTLE-

Remus: James, now might be a good time to run…

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Sirius: is this... a mistletoe?

Remus: you are literally holding a piece of spinach over our heads.

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Auror: Turn around!

Sirius: every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never comin' round...

Auror: TURN AROUND!

James: every now and the-

Auror: *tases them*

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Lily: WHY DID YOU FILL THE FIRST AID KIT WITH BERTIE BOTT'S EVERY FLAVOUR BEANS!?

James *bleeding out*: [coughs] I thought it would be funny at the time!

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Remus: Lie still, you've lost a lot of blood!

Sirius: I didn't lose it, moony. I know exactly where it is!! *points at puddle of blood next to him*

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charlie “toddler wave” spring and nick “dad wave” nelson

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sirius: what's this?

remus: *under a pile of blanket, with his charms book and a hot chocolate*

sirius: okay i like it.

sirius: picasso

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Remus: You have more qualities than you thin, pads, *points to Sirius's chest* you have this.

Sirius: I do have great tits, yes thank you.

Remus:

Remus: ... I meant your heart.

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Remus & Padfoot

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Something about regulus in a gryffindor jumper will never fail to make me happy

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@wolfstarmicrofic Day Seventeen: pic 'n mix

Another long one, oops. Heh. And a day late. Eep.

Harry's squeals of delight draw plenty of looks: pointed, startled, amused. Remus can't bring himself to care, not today. Not when he's watching him ride Padfoot haphazardly through the stalls of the outdoor market in their little corner of East Sussex.

The past, well, several weeks have been a test of Remus's patience, confidence, and love for this child. Harry has been...contrary. He's four, and it's to be expected (or so Molly keeps reminding him whenever he Floo calls her, at his wit's end), but he fights anything Remus asks him to do.

Brush your teeth? No!

Put on your socks? No!

Would you like some ice cream? No! (That one seemed to have made him pause, at least).

Remus could live with it easier if Harry was just as stubborn with Sirius, but nooo, Sirius could do no wrong. Sirius, who can turn into a dog and be Harry's best friend and godfather at the same time. Sirius, who can ask Harry to help with the washing up and poof! It's done. Just like that. No lip. No sass. No, no!

Remus doesn't know what he's done. He's not the only disciplinarian. He and Sirius split the unfortunate task of setting Harry right pretty evenly. A small part of him wonders if it's because he's not actually bound to Harry by any tie, blood or magic, like Sirius is, but he tries not to think on that. They've gotten along before. Why not now?

Molly assures him that that is quite normal, too. Children go through favorites like they do juice boxes, and Remus just happens to be the prune juice box that Harry does not want.

It hurts. He won't lie. It outright sucks, and he's been driven to angry, embarrassed, and just sad tears in the privacy of their bedroom, wondering what on earth he's done wrong. Parenting is hard, and no one even thought to warn him, a queer werewolf, about it before they were needed to take care of Harry. Molly's advice is all well and good (really, it's worth every knut in Sirius's vault), but none of her children have gone through the same trauma as Harry has. Poor kid.

But Remus told himself it would all right itself in the end. At least Harry was listening to one of them! He still wanted to try, though, to get in his good graces. They've been cooped up for some foul late summer storms and this market is the perfect avenue to get some fresh air and just get out of the house.

"Moony!!!" Harry shrieks, steering an amused Padfoot his way by way of his ruff. "Please, please, please!"

"Please what?" Remus asks, feigning ignorance. He spotted the pic 'n mix candy stall the minute they entered the market and knew it was only a matter of time before Harry zoned in on it. But he's been trying to get Harry to ask for things properly.

Harry pulls on his bottom lip and puts on a look he must have learned from Sirius, the little sneak, because his green eyes go big and sad and when he releases his lip, by god it wobbles "Pretty please?"

Remus's heart twists and he just wants to give this precious child anything, everything, no holds barred, but he stays strong. Willpower is his strong suit. "Very good, but what is it you want?"

"Oh!" Just like that, the pleading look disappears and the beginnings of crocodile tears practically get sucked back in. Oh, he's good. They're doomed. "This! The um, the candy! Padfoot said I can!"

Padfoot, silver eyes wide, quickly looks away, his ears flicking back. Remus tries not to laugh. "Oh did he now?"

"Yes!" Harry exclaims, matter-of-fact.

"I didn't know you spoke dog, Haz."

Harry snorts and gives Remus a look like he can't possibly be serious. "I don't. I speak Padfoot."

Well, that's him told then, isn't it? "Alright, grab one sack and fill it up. But remember, dogs can't eat chocolate or candy or it'll make them sick," Remus advises to the dark glare from Padfoot who was, in fact, just about to eat a piece of chocolate from Harry's hand. Serves him right.

Harry meets Remus's eyes, nods with all of the solemnity that being four years old affords, but immediately snaps back into his fervor and strikes up a lively conversation about ducks with the shopkeeper. Remus watches on, proud, but his observation is interrupted by Padfoot stepping his full weight onto his foot.

"Arse," he mutters down at his husband, who, naturally, ignores him.

After several minutes of Harry bobbing around the stand and harrying the poor woman weighing out his selections (far more than one bag) Remus knows they need to call it. "Haz, it's time to go."

Harry looks at him so sharply, Remus gets a wave of nostalgia for the amount of times Lily's levied one of those his way. "No!" he announces, and Remus sighs inwardly. He'd thought they were past that...

Remus looks down at Padfoot, who rolls his eyes and plods forward to tug gently at Harry's shirt with his teeth. "No!" Harry tells him, and Remus blinks. "No!" They're drawing the attention of several people, people who don't know them, and Remus cringes. He looks nothing like Harry. At best, he could pass as an uncle, maybe, but definitely not his parent with his fair hair and tan-not-brown skin.

"Harry, it's time to go," Remus repeats lowly. Harry shoots him a teary look, his head hanging low. It's the tone of voice Remus almost never uses, and he feels a little guilty for employing it now. He sidles up to the shopkeep, apologizes for the theatrics, and pays (a rather outrageous amount) for the bags and bags of candy.

The walk home is tense. Harry doesn't want to ride Padfoot, and Padfoot walks sullenly next to Remus, casting him baleful, meaningful looks his way, expressing his own confusion. Man, they were really bad at this parenting shit. Maybe they were messing Harry up. Would he have been better with Petunia?

No. Remus has met Petunia on several occasions, each more unpleasant than the last. She didn't come to Lily and James's funeral. She did not deserve their son.

As soon as they're inside, Sirius shifts back into a man and tries to take some of the bags from him. "No!"

Sirius frowns. "...Harry, why can't I take these?"

"Because they're not yours."

Sirius crouches low to get on his level, and Remus is always impressed with how easy this looks for him. Fatherhood suits Sirius. "Whose are they?"

Harry looks at Remus. "Moony's." When Sirius and Remus don't immediately speak, Harry holds the bags up as high as he can and shoves his face into Sirius's neck. "Look!"

The bags in his hands hold what are, quite frankly, Remus's favorite sweets: honey sticks, cinnamon hard candies, chocolate pigs. Harry, coincidentally...does not like these things. "They're for me?"

Harry nods, but Remus can tell he's on the verge of tears. After months of tantrums, he's become an expert in reading the warning signs. So Remus takes the bags and kneels down next to Harry. "Thank you, Harry. That is very kind of you, I-" God, he's getting a little choked up and Harry doesn't know—he can't know—that his father did something similar on regular occasion when Remus was feeling poorly, or just because. James always had a snack, and Remus was often the recipient of a stray piece of candy. "Thank you."

Harry surges away from Sirius and launches himself at Remus, knocking him off-balance and sending him flat on his back. "M'sorry I made you sad."

Oh god. "Haz, no, that's not... You make me very happy. I love you. Padfoot loves you," Remus is quick to reassure him, folding him in his arms and holding him close. His little body is so very warm, precious and tiny against his, and Remus wishes he could undo all the pain between them.

"It's my nap time."

This kid constantly surprises him with how much he knows. "Too right, squid. Want me to tuck you in?" Sirius asks.

"No."

"Oh."

"Can Moony do it?"

Remus smiles and kisses the side of his face firmly. "Yes." And that was the end of No!...for about ten years, anyway.

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you can’t blame regulus for falling in love with his brother’s best friend. i mean, it’s james potter, the literal sun.