miscreantbread

[miscreantbread]

ever since i was a child ive had a headache

[miscreantbread]

[miscreantbread]

Took 3 expired gift cards out of my wallet and now i can leap over tall buildings in a single bounce

[miscreantbread]

they teach you the golden rule, treat others how you want to be treated, but in a pinch you can apply the silver rule (be kinda selfish because you’ve earned it) or even the bronze rule (manipulate others purely for your benefit).

[miscreantbread]

[miscreantbread]

It’s been a hard day bro can you pet me

[miscreantbread]

do you like my repetitive and outdated music taste

[miscreantbread]

me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home

me when I get home:

[miscreantbread]

well yeah i have a pet hydra and it only has one head. i'm not going to cut its head off just to make it look cooler, you asshole. that's seriously unethical. and i'm not letting you cut its head off either. if you really want a hydra with multiple heads, you should go for a rescue- but if you want your pet to look cooler at the cost of its physical health, maybe you shouldn't get any kind of pet at all. no, the hydra's not for guarding my evil tower, it's my pet. have you ever heard of a pet? like a puppy or a kitty? you think i can't defend my evil tower by my self?

[miscreantbread]

[miscreantbread]

baby i could treat you so good you just have to get past my strange and off-putting demeanor and my kubrick stare and my inability to behave like a human and the 40 layers of icy fortress walls i have up and answer my riddles three

[miscreantbread]

not dead!!!!

[miscreantbread]

[miscreantbread]

lately ive been bedridden with a terrible case of i dont wanna

[miscreantbread]

no one appreciates that i could be a million times worse

[miscreantbread]

please be nice to me unless you’re being mean in a hot way

[miscreantbread]

Can I curl up on your chest like a kitty cat or do you hate me