mistywavesofvanilla

[mistywavesofvanilla]

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

[mistywavesofvanilla]

Anaïs Nin, from a diary entry featured in Trapeze: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anais Nin, 1947-1955

[mistywavesofvanilla]

Charlotte Brontë, from “Jane Eyre”

[mistywavesofvanilla]

[mistywavesofvanilla]

I understand that the most cruel thing I can do is deprive someone of my presence but cruelty has its use like the fire that scorchs the ground to make it more fertile & I am not scared of weaponzing my heat. My absence is the most powerful thing that can speak to my objections, my boundaries, and my respect for myself & because I am a continually shifting multiverse of possibilities in the shape of a human, I do not fear the process of being alone especially when juxtaposed with the horror of being expected to kill off parts of myself to fit in the pages of other people’s small worlds.

[mistywavesofvanilla]

I often dig up myself among the foggy perplexities of one's day, aloof and in a trance — as though the mind has dispersed and vanished into mayhem. Hence, lost I remain and find myself, again in the middle of disarray, in the middle of grounds, in the middle of lands and states of hearts — and somehow, I could seldom collide with the two sides of one coin, the midpoint is always magnetic for someone who never knows where to go. Neutral is the home, and what a bore it is to rarely touch yonder than the centre.

The Middle East is where I was born, and to the Middle Land, I once had travelled. I'm never a master, never a beginner, not too drained to flee, yet not too happy to remain. The bars have grown taller. I'm loved but never adored, and I do not distaste myself enough to die. I'm average on most days. Not pretty enough to be marked, not kind enough to be the best among souls. For the most part, I can blend in with the hues of people and the days. Perhaps I am of peculiarity, though less of an exclusive kind. And no matter from which direction I cut along, I'll always find myself somewhere in the middle.

[mistywavesofvanilla]

lowkey some of you guys would thrive in a world that was better and kinder.

[mistywavesofvanilla]

Maria Shriver, from her book titled "I Am Maria: My Reflections, and Poems on Heartbreak, Healing and Finding your Way Home,"

[mistywavesofvanilla]

Power lines crucifix, Sabtieh, Beirut, Lebanon, 2015 - by Fadi BouKaram, Lebanese/Irish

[mistywavesofvanilla]

most beautiful lady in all the land. will you listen to simon and garfunkel with me

[mistywavesofvanilla]

head not empty, head filled with lovestruck chaos of how tf do i make this look like destiny when i'm the one writing the script?

[mistywavesofvanilla]

When you think you want out — and you've got a sweet tooth for pipe dreams, dandelions, ivory aeroplanes, an eastern railroad to Memphis, and short-lived trips to a cosmic place.

When you get a paper cut from Japanese paper folds, or wake up on a Wednesday with hair the colour of stardust, when the white landscapes are becoming hoary and you can't break the windshield because you've been effortfully breathing, when the load of the world feels like a hand down your throat, when your stomach is magnetic to candy but your molars ache too much, when you wish you mother could vacuum your furies along the dust on the floor — would you please recall. There is no win without a slump and no larger depth than your wires.

And to clear up your heart, you need to sweep the dirt off the floor. Would you mind that there is often an end to a downward slope and that the upshots of life are distinct precepts of a rise over run?

[mistywavesofvanilla]

I will never understand the hate for grey hairs. Your hair has sliver in it now. You have the color of stars on your hair. You have proof you survived and grew up. You have proof you are living. How is any of this bad?

[mistywavesofvanilla]

[mistywavesofvanilla]

Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.

[mistywavesofvanilla]

Antonio Turok, Mujeres de Magdalenas, 1989

[mistywavesofvanilla]

not to make this about me but i really need you to have an awesome summer with me