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God it's so fucked that Burrich tells him to never use the Wit, to never connect with animals like he was doing with Nosy, because that way a man loses his connection to his humanity. He becomes like the hound. That he kills without thinking why. And it is a horrible fate.

And then fucking. What does it matter. Symbolicly. Fitz is already a beast collared and caged. There's so many times the king or one of the princes call him a weapon, a tool, something dangerous that can be wielded against the crown. He's asked to be a loyal dog to the crown already. He is already part way to being what Burrich feared, except there is some veneer of choice laid over this. It's just sooooo. Fucked. Fitz my darling boy...

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imagine having your own personal hater who's been assigned to you by fate and he is a tiny little clown who won't stop following you around and yammering about your imminent demise and worst of all you love him dearly

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nobody is faking POTS, fibromyalgia or ME/CFS for attention because nobody gives a fuck if you have POTS, fibromyalgia or ME/CFS. these are three conditions people are always accused of faking online (largely because they’re common chronic illnesses and young women are disproportionately effected by them 😃) and it’s like…..look around bitch. when was the last time you saw a fund for a cure CFS walkathon? you ever see a Google banner for fibromyalgia? these are illnesses that suck to have and that you are often treated like absolute dogshit by the medical community and pop culture at large if you do have them. you don’t get positive attention, or any attention at all, if you’re at home laying down 85% of your life.

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gotta say, huge respect to all the tge writers/artists who ship csevet/maia to not push side or otherwise get rid of csethiro/maia. I'm so used to fandoms ignoring/bashing the canon m/f ship (and, by extension, often the woman in the canon m/f ship) in favor of the gay one and it's really refreshing to see majority of the works i've seen in fandom concretely agree that maia has two hands and why should all the people who love him not love him.

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rereading the goblin emperor and sth sth the relationship between csevet and maia. they rise and fall together. they humanise each other. they serve as constant reminders to the other that they're people, deserving of the care and consideration others denied them solely because they felt entitled to them. its how they both protect each other with a ferocity that rivals the bond between maia and his nohechareis. its how no matter the tenets of station, no matter what csevet says, he is constantly going above and beyond to make sure things work for maia specifically. except for certain rules of propriety, he never, ever advises out of what an emperor should or shouldn’t be, he is moved but what will help maia the most, what will keep him happiest and safest. maia is ready to do the same for his secretary, maia does the same for his secretary. his trust in csevet is so absolute that he never even imagines he is involved in any conspiracy plot against him. to mistrust him is unthinkable. while, for their own complex reasons, his nohechareis decline maia's friendship and csevet would never be so bold as to presume it like maia was an object or a bargaining chip, we only ever see him becoming more and more of his friend. he speaks to him with undeniable affection when its just them. he never takes him for granted, and similarly never does maia, even when he gets upset and moody and has a bad day. its not just the emperor would be lost without his secretary, is also that his secretary would be equally lost without him. because while he is the most competent person at court, he knows how to survive and has friends and skills to hold his own, it would only ever be that: survival in a treacherous court. csevet is now safe, borderline untouchable, and for the first time since he became an imperial courier he can breathe. he does indeed thank him, for that which the emperor does not, because i am convinced that csevet ainsava doesn't follow the emperor because he is simply the emperor and such is the duty of his subjects, but because he is following that young man who amid tragedy and misery carried himself with a level of dignity and compassion. any emperor would be in the place to demand his duty. only maia however has earned his undisputed loyalty.

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me: c'mon guys, Fitz can think be gay for Fool AND still comment on his beauty platonically also me: "you show me the soul of the world within my own walls" FITZ YOU LOVE HIM. YOU LOVE HIM. DON'T YOU SEE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM?!?!?!?!

ohhhh my god bro my fucking yaoi. just kill me now

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it is very natural to interpret the wit as a metaphor for queerness but i actually think that's only one take. the wit as a metaphor for neurodivergence or disability, i think, actually has more textual support. ofc it is about "otherness" in general but here are some details i think support the disability theme:

terminology: people with intellectual or developmental disabilities are lumped together as "witlings" or halfwits". demeaning language that matches six duchies attitudes towards disability, but i think it's also important that those two specific terms are used so commonly

wholeness: the wit is either seen as a lack of humanity in someone, or a empathy that makes someone whole. regal hates people who aren't "whole" (disabled people, or people like the fool). this is born out of superstition, and mirrors wit-hatred.

disability and ability: we learn in later books that the old blood community has a lot of lore that considers unwitted people as being disabled, like deafness or blindness. people like laurel are even discriminated against. (albeit, a childlike exclusion vs. the oppression the witted experience)

the obvious: a lot of fitz's dog/wolf mannerisms and even other old blood mannerisms seem vaguely like autistic or other neurodivergent traits. he avoids eye contact because it's poor wolf manners, he hates crowds, he is very sensitive to sensory details, he misses social cues. these are also all directly connected to the wit.

community: what little we see about old blood culture shows that they have a lot of traditions and a unique philosophy about life. one moment that sticks out to me is how strict they are about how one's old blood companion should not change themselves or suppress their natural instincts. another important detail here is how fitz is also an outcast among the old blood folk

masking/repression: this one is simple. fitz is forced to hide his wit, and constantly must put on different roles.

justice: one hallmark of autism is "a strong sense of justice". i think a more accurate descriptor would be "black-and-white moral framework". this is not only something we see in fitz, but strongly in nighteyes and even other witted folk. ex. that one girl who wanted revenge for every witted person in tawny man trilogy, during kettricken's witted delegation. nighteyes particularly has a rigid idea of what the best course of action is, due to his wolf instincts.

"wit": wit refers to intellectual capabilities, or sanity.

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one of my favorite au concepts is one where maia has chronic health issues that occasionally cause him to be so sick he can barely move (and cause severe fatigue and join pain the rest of the time)

growing up in very poor health, with his mother doing her best to help him with what limited care she could provide even as she succumbed to her own illness (makes him anxious about being a burden to others) and then after her death being treated as though he is faking his health issues in order to be lazy, and denied care or even punished for needing it (makes him afraid to admit to needing help)

when he arrives at court, along with the rumors of madness, there are rumors that he is an invalid, that he is physically and mentally incapable, and so he tries to hide his symptoms, to push through and show a brave face and never ask for help... and of course that only causes more pain and problems for him later, since he can only run on reserve for so long

...culminating in a very nasty flare up where he is stuck in bed and forced to confront both his limitations and the care he now receives from his household

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fitz and the fool at the renfaire for your consideration ( royal assassin era )

Fitz is @/lostboii.bakery on insta

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REAL. honestly it doesn't really matter if the reason he pushed her out of his mind as a six year old was because he hadn't forgiven her as a child. He still couldn't recall her to mind for years and years afterwards. Repressing a memory because it's painful isn't precisely the same as forgetting it but, like--he didn't have access to her memory either way. Functionally it's the same as telling him that he didn't "forget" the details of regal's torture, he was just too much a coward to face it (when he says he couldn't recall the details but they would surface unwillingly in the form of oppressive nightmares he would wake from in terror). His mind wouldn't let him either way. SMH.

Kettle revealing to Fitz that he had not forgotten his mother, that he had simply not forgiven her, that giving him up had not been her choice and that she had loved him...that is one of the unkindest things ever done to him.

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at its core, assassin's apprentice is a book about loneliness. when we are introduced to its protagonist, he doesn't even have a name, immediately pitiful and estranged, never loved enough even for that. the only thing he understands about his life is that he is a bastard, unwanted, constantly reminded of it too. he sleeps with the dogs. every single connection he manages to build is severed, times and times again. he's a tool. nothing else. he's abused, verbally and physically, for years. surrounded by so many people, his loneliness in their midst a web that connects it all better than any secrets. he is the one narrating his own life story, no one else with him even at the end? but no, the story says - a friend. and it is so damn lonely, but also what a lovely balm: a friend.

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fitz, every day for a year: hey should we maybe do something about the fact that regal is clearly planning a coup. like, he tried to kill verity using galen, he tried to kill me and burrich. he’s keeping everyone away from his ailing father and drugging him. like its not even subtle at this point. he has a vision board i think.

every adult in his life: fitz you fool. you dumbass bitch idiot. you stupid little boy. regal would never do that. sure, he says he’s going to every day and he’s a wretched little man who clearly hates you and has tried to kill you, and verity, and kettricken. but you just have to get over that. hes just a silly little guy. you know how youngest children are. now go take some drugs and kill a bunch of guys.

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rote moments/details that destroy me:

(Spoilers obv)

When Burrich comes all the way to Aslevjal to find out Fitz "died" in the ice a few days earlier

And when Fitz comes back Dutiful's eyes are red because he's been crying, and he can't process it

Burrich names each animal in the stables with so much thought and care, and just calls Fitz "the fitz" and that names sticks

The letter from Burrich to Chivalry about the "colt" that has temperament issues due to "being weaned from his mother too soon"

Fitz and Burrich both get white streaks in their hair

Mere!

Fitz and Chade are natural healers, but are forced to kill

Molly ended up marrying a drunk like her father

Fitz gives all of himself away, even Verity's sword and Burrich's earring (I don't think Burrich wanted to give it to Swift)

Nighteyes dies and Fitz gets no support from the Old Blood community, he's left to mourn alone

And Kettricken doesn't see Nighteyes before he dies

The posies and nosegays Fool thinks Fitz is giving to him are a reference to Molly (her name is Nosegay and her mom calls her a posy)

Fitz thinks about naming Bee Lacey!

The metaphors in the names: Patience is what finally wins Fitz over, Verity has no place in war, Chivalry is dead. Verity is what wins Fitz's loyalty, Patience is an outcast.

And when the characters betray their names? Shrewd was blind to his son's treachery. Verity deceives Fitz. Chivalry falls off his horse. (Chivalry also refers to armed soldiers on horses). Blade sends Fitz to his death, all unknowingly. Dutiful runs away. Chade emerges from the walls when he believes Fitz dead.

Hap playing matchmaker with Fitz and Jinna lmao (calling her pretty, inviting her over, etc.) I think it's because he's worried about Fitz being alone when he leaves for his apprenticeship

When Fool dies and Chade comes over to Fitz, and he assumes Chade has a task for him and is shocked when he offers condolences

What little we learn about Thick's mom is so heartbreaking! She uses her son as a cutpurse, and once tries to abandon him and changes her mind :,(

Blade feels guilty about Fitz until he dies

Hands :(

Patience keeps a lock of Fitz's hair in a locket

Fitz takes on the persona Tom the Shepard, taking bits of both is mothers with him into his fake life. Patience's name for him, and his mother's profession he helped with as a boy

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Thinking about how Fitz gets along easiest with people who mock him: Fool, Nighteyes, even Hap. He's so filled with self-loathing but teasing just disarms that, and allows him to laugh at himself if he can't laugh at anything else. "Mocking always makes you feel better,"

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My pet peeve is everyone blaming Fitz for everything bad that has happened to Molly.

Everyone says Fitz lied so much to Molly, but I don't even really think that's fair. Like a lot of the "lies" are assumptions on Molly's part. He had some egregious lies of omission, but I find those to be very understandable. Of course he isn't going to tell Molly he's the infamous Fitz. She apparently thought they were courting but all those years and she never had any curiosity about Fitz's real name or background? And didn't lie about being drunk, she assumed the worst. (Although, it looks bad.) Fitz never tells Molly about being Witted, but he it seems like that was smart, because Fitz was literally executed for it! Fitz "lies" to Molly about marrying her and going to the king for permission, but he doesn't actually lie, does he? He does everything he says he will. He's more honest with Molly than he is with most people. But when Fitz's best intentions are thwarted, Molly blames Fitz. She assumes he never meant it, and he was a duplicitous and untrustworthy person the whole time. And let's be honest, a lot of this was her mind being poisoned by Regal and the other people of the Keep. Fitz literally tells her he's an assassin and she just chooses not to believe him.

Molly is the same as Fitz, which is why their relationship was doomed from the start. Molly was abused from a young age and assumes the worst about other people. She tests them, and pushes them away. Fitz is similar, the difference being his bone deep self loathing. They are a match made in hell.

Molly goes through a lot because of her relationship with Fitz, but he doesn't actually deceive her in the way she claims. And moreover, I think the fact that she never told Fitz she was pregnant is way worse than any of Fitz's lies. Because she doesn't truly want Fitz out of her life, she is just testing his loyalty. She is as childish as Fitz is! Which is understandable, because of everything they've gone through! But everyone blames Fitz for all of it, because he blames himself, because he is an unreliable narrator. I'm not saying Fitz was a good boyfriend or anything, just that they share responsibility for the failures of their relationship.

And don't ever say to me that Fitz "abandoned" Molly, Burrich or Nettle. Molly made the choice to kick Fitz out of Nettle's life. I think they did seriously cross a boundary. Burrich is clearly meant to parallel Molly's father, with his age and drinking habits. Molly seems to need a father more than a husband, but she thinks a man who isn't cruel to her would be a good husband. And from what little we see of their marriage, they seem very dysfunctional. I just cannot understand when people chalk Fitz's feelings about them to be petty jealousy. It's not that he's jealous of Burrich, Burrich seems way more possessive of Molly than Fitz ever was. All he wanted was a family, and they forgot him so easily, and blamed him for things he didn't do.

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Hi, I would like to know your opinion about the character Molly, I like to know different opinions about the character and what you think about her relationship with Fitz.

Hi! I love how Molly's character got started, but through much of Royal Assassin I thought she was more there to create drama than to be her own person. She makes some choices that kinda make some sense if you squint, but seem odd considering everything we know about her, or just what you would expect a person to consider. It strains my imagination that she truly wouldn't understand why Fitz would stay away from her to keep her safe (especially after she was attacked by the roadside, even if her first reaction was just to be angry I think she'd get it--her reaction seems far more teenager-y and "Romeo and Juliet" than Fitz's, and she's a few years older), or that she wouldn't be more careful about birth control, or even that she took Fitz's *fourteen year old* sort-of overtures as seriously as she did. I think her reactions are shaped more by what Hobb thinks will torture Fitz than by what would be her most characteristic reaction haha. All in all, I think we needed more or less or Molly. More of her--a fleshed out character who was her own protagonist (actually considering if she wanted pregnancy, seriously taking the possibility that she might become pregnant rather than brushing off concerns about ineffective birth control, understanding why Fitz cares about his people [honestly weird that she doesn't understand why he wants to stay and help out his home] even if she draws her own line of how much she's willing to give, etc). Or less of her just twisting the knife for Fitz in ways that are sometimes a little soap opera-y.

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Fitz being a relatable crashout king