modernler

[modernler]

are u QUEER

Would a queer be reading about the environment? Didn't think so

[modernler]

thoughts on penis?

If you got it, flaunt it.

[modernler]

💸💸

[modernler]

PARTY IN THE U.S.A~

[modernler]

Earth Day is one of my favourite holidays (Quote me on it!)

[modernler]

Anyone else notice that it's "Earth Week"? Pop the champagne!

[modernler]

Hey mister onceler, aren't you a very busy man? where do you find the time to blog?

I'm as busy as any other red-blooded American working for a living. Tending to this blog is still work, you know. My employees just keep operations running smoothly when I decide it's time to interact with my community! I know, I know, my heart is huge, hold your applause...

[modernler]

how are the tariffs impacting your business

HAHAHA, UH, THEY AREN'T! With the net income we pull, high tariffs have been the least of my concerns. We source locally, for God's sake! And people always need lumber and clothing, right? The BR guy has been really on my butt about this crap too, he slid some notes into my paperwork at the end of our last quarter. I don't even bother reading it anymore but hey corporate transparency is actually very "in" right now, so see for yourself...

Got a good look? Did you make any sense of it? Me neither! WHO CARES!

[modernler]

Happy Easter from THNEED.CO

[modernler]

[modernler]

A LITTLE DRAWINGGGGG how long has it been since i posted here??? WOAH i miss doing it TwT I REALLY LIKED MAKING THIS DRAWING it's the first time Ii draw a chainsaw so it was my best attempt :">

[modernler]

Why

.

Great question/statement! That is incorrect use of a period but hey, I'm not a linguist.

"Why(?)" you ask? Why... am I starting this website? Why... am I hosting a giveaway? Why... am I spending my hard earned money on advertising to Tumblr?

I have no clue what you're asking, just no clue.

But! To answer all of those questions:

I'm starting this website because I care about getting close to my uh, fans. Customers. Yaknow, the people who built this company with me. You're like family!

I'm hosting a giveaway because we have got a warehouse just full of proto-Thneeds. You, that's right, YOU, have a chance to win a FREE proto-Thneed. These were some of my first drafts of the pristine, versatile, something-that-all-people-need! And I want 'em GONE. Hell, I might even throw my autograph in the package if I find time... You know you want it.

Lastly, why am I advertising to this dump? Isn't it below me? Oh yeah. You people are freaky. You're also my biggest market segment. Who knew I'd be such a hit with millenials and ah... whoever else uses this site...

But that's besides the point, I'm here for you.

To bring you all deals of a lifetime, and the privelge of getting my opinion on whatever your little heart desires... How can you resist, that?!

[modernler]

[modernler]

YOU ASKED, WE DELIVERED!

You've heard it before: "Everybody Needs a Thneed!"©

What if you could get a Thneed© and MORE?

Welcome to THNEEDCO©!

The Once-ler's MODERN, INTERACTIVE, and FREE* new online service!

Please send any inquiries or comments (in line with our Terms & Privacy Policy below) to us via EMAIL, thneedco.hr@gmail.com, or ASK.

The Once-ler (or his team of elected representatives, should the Once-ler be unwilling/unable to respond) will reply within a "reasonable amount of time."*

*Subject to change.

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