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mofongomuncher · 2 months ago

Text

BREATHE

Pairing: Benjamin “Dex” Poindexter x reader

Warnings: Panic attacks, teensie bit of angst

@nocturnal1slut asked “Maybe something with dex having a panic attack and reader comforting him?💕”

Summary: You return home to find Dex curled up beside his bed, broken glass littered everywhere. In a moment of self deprecating panic, you comfort Dex.

Notes: First post! I hope you enjoy, please leave your thoughts and any requests you have! ^^

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The silence of the apartment was unexpected as you unlocked the door and stepped inside, the lack of lights being on casting the rooms in a shadowed darkness. A frown furrowed in your brows as you took a step further inside, pausing at the sound of glass crunching beneath your shoe.

Broken glass? This was a sight that didn’t come often, but when it did, you knew that something was wrong.

“Dex?” You softly called out, leaning down to place your bag by the door, softly shutting it as you kept your eyes darting around the place. You couldn’t help the way your stomach nervously clenched, your chest following suit in the same tight, anxious manner.

You carefully stepped around the broken glass the best you could, eyeing the glint in the darkness as you navigated your way through. You knew that if there was danger, your best bet would be to keep the lights off.

If anyone ever breaks in, keep the lights off. No one knows the apartment better than you. Dex had once told you that, before rambling on about how he’d protect you and if anyone tried to hurt you, he would deal it back but a thousand times worse. You knew he wasn’t lying and it it’s own way, it was sweet.

You slithered past the counter, quietly slipping a knife out of the holder as you eyed the place further. If someone had a gun, you’d be screwed, but it was better than nothing. At least Dex would be proud that you tried to defend yourself but also really, really mad that he couldn’t be there to defend you himself.

You checked behind the couch, found nothing and quietly headed towards the bathroom. Before you entered, the sound of a sniff from the bedroom made you stop in your tracks, your lips softly parting as you listened out for the sound once more. When it came again, you knew you hadn’t imagined it.

And how much it sounded like Dex.

“Dex?” You softly called out again. You didn’t hesitate to head towards your shared bedroom, freezing in your tracks at the sight before you.

Dex sat curled up against the side of the bed, his head in his hands as his breathing came out in shudders, like he was struggling to pull air through his lungs.

“Dex-“ You breathed out, quickly sliding into the floor in front of him, placing the knife down and lightly grabbing at his wrists, feeling the way he was shaking beneath your hold.

“D-don’t.” He whispered, keeping his head in his hands, not daring to meet his gaze.

“What’s wrong?” You softly asked, your thumbs reassuringly rubbing across the skin of his arms. He was shaking beneath your hold.

“Don’t do that- don’t ask me that.” He lightly snapped. You softly frowned, knowing this. Knowing him. This projection, this self deprecation was something familiar to you. You’d seen it many times.

“Hey.” You softly spoke, tapping the backs of his hands that covered his eyes with your thumbs. “Hey, look at me.”

He let out a soft, defiant noise. A sense of conflict in his tone as he took a deep, shaken breath in, his whole body shaking. He softly shook his head, fighting himself before he pulled his hands away, his eyes still shut. He took another shaken breath in before meeting your eyes with his red ones from between his brows.

You tried not to have a reaction to the sight of blood across his features, a black eye already forming around his left eye. Speckles of blood across his cheek that was likely not his. You kept a soft expression, keeping his eyes on yours.

“Hi.” You softly smiled, grabbing his hands in your own, his grip loose. “You wanna talk to me?”

He stared at you for a moment. His gaze flickered between your eyes and the floor before he softly shook his head, a scowl forming on his lips. His chest kept its rapid pace, breathing hard through his nose as he fought through his emotions.

“No- just- I don’t wanna do that.” He whispered. Your chest lightly ached at the look on his face, the lack of trust. As if he didn’t recognize you, as if you had betrayed him.

You understood why he felt that way. He’d been abandoned by so, so many people. Just as many had betrayed him, made him think he wasn’t worth anything. You’d never let him feel that way again, not as long as you were around.

“Hey- hey. It’s me.” You whispered, trying to place yourself in his view so that he could see your eyes. See the truth within them. “It’s me.”

“Y/n- I can’t-“ He whispered again, desperation clear in his voice.

“That’s fine.” You gently squeezed his hands, relieved when he returned a soft squeeze back. “You know what you can do for me?”

He met your gaze.

“Breathe with me.” You softly smiled. “Come on, handsome.”

You removed your right hand from his grasp, placing it in the middle of his chest. In a motion of demonstration, you took a deep breath in before letting it fall from your lips in an equal manner. You could see the reluctance in his eyes before he took in a deep, but unequal breath, but he was still trying.

You took in another deep breath, feeling the way his chest raised beneath your palm before easing into a more even release. The shuddered nature of his breath slowly eased into a normal pattern, the tension in his features fading away as the panic in his body released.

“There we go, that’s good.” You whispered.

He placed a hand on top of the one resting against his chest, curling his fingers around it and pulling it to his lips, his eyes falling shut for a moment as he just breathed deep, taking in every drop of you as it brought him back to calm. He gently brushed his lips against your knuckles, the warmth of his breath tickling your skin.

Before you could say another word, his hands wrapped around your hand and upper arm and he tugged you towards him, pressing your cheek against his shoulder as your legs collapsed under you and your body fell subject to his needy grasp. You let him hold you close, finding your own comfort in the action.

You couldn’t help but softly smile as he let you back in. You knew this, you knew him. It wasn’t anything personal. He’s just been hurt a lot.

His fingers delved into your hair, drawing gentle circles as if he was comforting you in return. Your eyes trailed across his features. His now open eyes were staring ahead and the panic across his features seemed almost entirely gone, his breathing now steady. His heart was beating softly under your ear, a steady and even pace.

You placed a gentle hand on the bicep of one of the arms that was wrapped around you. You drew gentle circles, bringing him to a state of calm. Your breathing came to a sync, a guiding force to ground him. To show him that there was someone here to care for him. That you cared for him.

His head finally turned to meet your gaze, the tension in his face gone and replaced by something softer. The furrow in his brows was now because of something deeper, a grateful expression that filled his entire demeanor. He took in a deep breathe, bringing his hand stroke his knuckles against your cheek.

You softly smiled, leaning into his touch.

He leaned forwards, both of your eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he pressed his lips against yours. You relished in the feeling, glad to have him back with you in this feeling of trust and care. He let the kiss linger before slowly pulling away, pressing his forehead to yours for a moment before pulling back to meet your eyes.

“Th-thank you.” He softly uttered.

“You wanna talk to me?” You softly tried again.

He softly nodded, pulling his gaze away from you for a moment as he took in a deep breath. There was a clear hesitation on his face. He knew that he should say it, say what he was feeling even if it was hard, really hard.

“Today was… really bad. I had a job to do and I promised that I would succeed, that i’m worthy. I can handle anything. I never miss, I never ever even waver but today..” He took a deep breath in, his breathing shaken. “I failed. It was a stupid mistake. And these thoughts.. they were in buzzing around in my head about- about-“

“It’s okay.” You softly encouraged, gently stroking a line across his jaw to tell him to keep going, but to breathe.

His eyes met yours and that look in his eyes made your heart ache. He softly frowned. “I started thinking about you. How I felt like I hadn’t just failed the FBI but also you. I should have done better- I could have. It should’ve been perfect. I wanted it to be perfect for you.”

You softly smiled. “Dex, I don’t want you just to do things to make me happy, you know that. You didn’t fail, not to me. It’s just a small mistake-“

“It’s not small- it matters to me. Okay?”

“Okay.” You whispered, gently dragging your finger across his jaw again.

His eyes had reddened, his lips parted as he fought to stay composed. “I thought that it would cost me. That I’d lose you because of it. When I came home- you weren’t here. You were gone for so long and I thought… I thought that i’d been right. That you’d left.”

“I didn’t. I’m here, i’ll always be here.” You softly promised.

“I know.” He whispered. “But a part of me didn’t believe it and I felt like I deserved it. That it was gonna happen eventually. You’d leave, just like everyone else.”

You frowned, turning his gaze to meet yours with a gentle nudge. “Dex, I’d never do that. I promise you. I know you’ve been hurt a lot and I would do anything to fix that, to give you the life you need. I can’t change anything but i’ll do everything in my power to make sure you know that I care about you. More than you realize.”

He let out a sigh of relief, gently nodding. You really hoped he believed your words entirely, you wanted him to see that you really meant those words. That every utterance was a declaration of truth.

“I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.” He breathed out.

“I do.” You lightly teased. “And it’s a good thing i’m not going anywhere.”

“You better not.” He spoke. You could sense in his tone that he was serious, a darkness in it that only you really understood. You knew what would happen if you somehow left him, if he was left alone. The chaos that would unfold. The people that would get hurt.

You leaned forwards to press another soft kiss to his lips, letting your fingers curl around the back of his neck and into the short hairs that sat there. You could feel the small shiver as he melted into your touch. His hand curled around your hip, his fingers pressing into the soft meat.

His hand pressed to the floor between you two and his movements paused as he touched the handle of the kitchen knife you had brought in here as a method of self defense in case of some crazed intruder. He pulled away, eyebrows comically furrowed as he glanced down.

“Why did you have a knife?” He softly asked, a light sense of worry in his tone. He was worried you’d brought this in to defend yourself against him.

“I thought someone broke in.” You sheepishly admitted.

He smiled, his eyes scanning your face with an amused admiration. “You and I both know they’d be dead before the window opened.”

You smiled and nodded, letting out a gentle laugh in unison with his as you leaned forwards to press your lips to his again and let your bodies melt further into each other. You let him guide you downwards, your spine pressing to the cold floor as he cupped your face.

You would never hurt him. You would never let him face abandonment again. You’d show him the love he deserves, no matter what it took.

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mofongomuncher · 2 months ago

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The First Time

Pairing: Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter x Reader

Genre: FLUFF, angst, SMUTTTT 18+!!!!

Summary: Dex and his neighbor become good friends, so much so she only trusts him to take her virginity.

Based off this anon message

Note: I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT BUT HERE IT IS I HOPE YOU GUYS LOVE IT

She’s the purest thing he’s ever known, and she lives right down the hall from him. Dex liked to keep his space neat and tidy; it was never dirty or out of order. He never allowed anyone into his space. Dex valued his privacy and, even more so, his alone time, despite feeling the lows of such often. Everything was a routine he had to strictly follow: wake up, shower, get ready for work, work, come home, be alone.

She ended up fitting into his routine, somehow. Only someone as pure and kind as she could find her way into Dex’s space--and so easily, too. She had recently graduated from New York University with a degree in forensic science and was living alone for the first time.

He’ll never forget when she started talking to him in the elevator, one rainy evening.

“What floor?” He asked her.

“6,” she replied. It was the same as his. Dex clicked the elevator button.

“You work for the FBI?” She couldn’t help but notice the large letters on the sleeve of his navy blue jacket. Dex typically took it off before going out in public, but that day’s mission had exhausted him so much, he forgot to.

“Yes,” Dex answered and shifted uncomfortably. He wasn’t used to friendly conversation with strangers. It was natural for him to have his guard up.

“That’s cool,” she sighed. “I just graduated from NYU last year. I got a job at the 15th Precinct in their forensics department, but working for the FBI is a dream of mine. Do you like it?”

“It’s tough,” Dex said. “It pays the bills.”

The elevator dinged. If he weren’t on the same floor as her, he’d be happy. He let her exit the elevator first and trailed slowly behind her. She waited for him so they could walk in tandem. He sighed, realizing he had no escape.

“Do you mind if I come by sometime and ask you questions about your job? I’m new to the area—new to living here, and I’d like to know that I have a personal FBI agent to call a neighbor and—friend,” she smiled at him. Dex squinted his eyes slightly, amused by her outgoing personality and interest in his job. He wasn’t particularly a fan of being put on the spot like this, but seeing the way she looked so hopeful at him—who was he to say no?

“Sure.”

And that’s how she ended up sitting across from him at his kitchen table, notebook on her right side, a cup of decaf coffee on her left. It had been like this for a year now—like clockwork, she was at his door at 11 PM, sometimes even later (depending on when he came home from work) to talk about his day and ask questions about anything related to his job. Dex grew to look forward to these late-night conversations with her—it was oddly reminiscent of his meetings with Dr. Mercer.

Now, he knew these weren’t therapy sessions, and if anything, he was the one giving her advice and information, but it was comforting to talk to her about his day. He found comfort in explaining his job duties and answering any curiosities she had. She was kind, probably the kindest thing in his life right now, and he needed that. He found it harder to sleep if she didn’t come by and spend an hour with him talking about his job.

“Wow,” she breathed. “So when you guys detain whoever you need to, how soon does forensics show up to the scene?”

“They’re already on their way before we even lock the handcuffs,” Dex said. He watched as she scribbled something in her notebook. He only recently noticed how attracted he was to her—he only ever saw her at night, and she was always, more often than not, in her pajamas. He started to take notice of her rotation. Last week, she had light pink polka dot ones on. Tonight, she’s in a plain light blue set. Next was probably her black silk ones. It was always in her natural state that he saw her. No makeup, disheveled hair. Friendly smile. Curious and his favorite part, attentive, eyes.

He rarely ever saw her during the day. He was up at the crack of dawn going to the headquarters, and she was always in three hours later. She always came home before him, and when she’d hear Dex’s familiar knock on her door, she knew he was ready for their nightly catch-up.

Neighbors catching up…friends, like she said one time. That’s what they were, Dex supposed.

He didn’t think of this as an almost every night thing. After the first few nights, he let her into his apartment, Dex thought it was a done deal. On the fifth night, just as he was about to get in bed, he heard a knock at his door.

“I brought ice cream,” she was holding two tubs of Ben and Jerry’s in her hands, and squeezing her notebook under her arm. “Mint chocolate cookie or strawberry cheesecake.”

Dex grabbed the mint chocolate cookie from her grasp and let her inside with a tired smile.

He had also grown a bit protective over her as her neighbor.

He remembered one time he got home from work at 10:30 PM—earlier than usual. He knocked on her door three times—it was his signal that he was ready and home—but there was no answer on the other side of the door. Dex pressed his ear against it and listened for any movement or sound. Nothing. He checked his watch and saw it was nearly 11:00 PM. It wasn’t like her to not be home already.

He pulled out his phone and called her. It immediately went to voicemail.

Dex clicked his phone off and rested it on his lips. The increasing heaviness in his chest was something he only felt when he was on missions—he was anxious. Is she okay?

Something inside of him locked, or maybe, unlocked at the thought of her never coming home. The thought of her never sitting across from him at his kitchen table ever again. It unlocked a feeling he kept hidden away as best as he could, despite it being the most constant thing in his life. Feeling abandoned—left behind. Alone.

For the first time in his life, Dex didn’t want to be alone.

Dex was too numb to go back into his apartment. He pressed his back against the wall of the hallway and slid down to sit on the floor. He decided he would wait there until she came home.

After an hour of staring into nothing, but mentally replaying all the times he’s had someone leave him, the elevator doors dinged. Dex was too tired to look at who it was, too afraid of disappointment if it wasn’t her. He kept his eyes forward.

“Dex?” She started walking faster towards him. “Are you okay?” Dex whipped his head up and immediately stood up on his feet.

“Yeah,” Dex nodded, his voice feeling thick and dry. “I was—worried. About you. Your phone…”

“It died,” she explained. “And I forgot my charger. I ended up staying late to finish up some work. You waited for me here?” She asked with a hint of a smile on her face.

“Yeah,” Dex nodded, meeting her eyes finally. She still looked as wide awake as ever, full of energy and positivity he wished he could emulate. Something compelled him to wrap his arms around her and bring her close in an embrace—so he did. He sighed in relief. “Don’t forget your charger again,” he said in her hair.

“I won’t,” she pulled back, suddenly catching on to the seriousness of his tone. “Rough day? Is it too late to talk in your apartment?”

“Not if it’s too late for you.”

It was strange, the effect she had on him. It only grew more intense after each night together. Dex watched her carefully now, across from his table. He couldn’t remember the lat time he let someone get close to him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had allowed himself to connect with someone since Dr. Mercer passed away. It was the first time he possibly found a new North Star. He hoped this one wouldn’t go out.

She brought a warmth to his apartment that it was lacking before. He never spent time at the kitchen table unless it was the morning and he was having his coffee before work. He never thought he’d spend most of his nights here, with her, talking about his day and duties as an FBI agent. She was part of his routine now. And if there’s anything about Dex, it’s that he doesn’t like when his routine is disrupted.

“Can I ask you something we haven’t talked about before?” She looked up from her notebook and placed her pen down on the table. Dex shrugged his shoulders. There wasn’t much he wouldn’ttell her at this point.

“Anything,” he said.

“Have you ever had to kill someone?”

It took a lot to catch Dex off guard. But this was a question he wasn’t expecting to be asked so blatantly.

“In the line of duty, obviously,” she followed up quickly, responding to his reaction.

Dex held her gaze—he didn’t want his answer to drive her away. In case it did, he wanted to memorize the way she was looking at him right now. The hopeful curiosity. The kindness without judgement in her eyes. He broke eye contact and sighed.

“Yes,” Dex said, rearranging the napkin holder in front of him.

“Because you had no choice?”

“Yes,” he lied.

She shook her head. Not in disapproval, but in disbelief. “I can’t imagine that. Do you—do you remember the first time you had to?”

Dex does remember his first time killing someone. But it wasn’t in the line of duty as an FBI agent. It wasn’t even when he served time in the army.

It was when he was a child and had dreams of becoming a baseball star. The memory flashed in Dex’s mind as quickly as the baseball ricocheted off the fence and hit Coach NAME in the head.

“I do,” Dex said. “It was a cartel member. We had the group where we wanted them, but one guy wouldn’t give up the fight. He grabbed for a weapon to shoot at my partner—Nadeem—but I got to him before he could do anything more.”

“And by got to him, you mean…”

“Mmhm,” Dex hummed. “Does that make you uncomfortable?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I know it’s not easy work. I know these things have to happen. But I wonder, are you okay? Knowing that that happened? And what you had to do?”

“I’m okay,” Dex said, and he wasn’t sure if it was a lie or not. “It was either him or Nadeem. They train you to think fast in those situations. You can’t waste time.”

“I’m really glad I chose the science side of it all.” She leaned back in his chair, and he liked how she made it look so casual. He wanted to mirror her but didn’t. “I don’t know if I could handle it like you do.”

“We make the mess,” Dex said, leaning forward. “Your side cleans it up.”

“That’s an interesting way to put it,” she replied. “Accurate.”

Dex sipped his coffee. “Anything else you’d like to know, Ms. Forensics?”

She smiled at the nickname. “I guess… out of personal curiosity… what did it feel like? Taking a life like that? Even if the guy was bad.”

Dex twisted the mug in his hands. Truthfully, it made no difference to him. But what would she want to hear?

“It’s hard,” Dex said. “Really hard. But these situations aren’t black and white. We have a job to do. We have to protect people. Protect our own. That’s what matters at the end of the day.”

“I see,” she said, nodding her head. “Do you have counselors at work you can talk to?”

“We have to undergo a psych-eval every once in a while.”

“That’s good,” she pressed her lips together. “Well, if the counselors aren’t always there for you, just know that I am, Dex.”

And there it was—that sweetness he had become so accustomed to. He couldn’t imagine his nights without it now. Dex smiled a little and focused his gaze on the table.

“It’s late,” she said after a few moments of silence. “I think I’ve run you dry for tonight. Got any plans this weekend?” She asked him this all the time, and Dex always had the same answer for her.

“No,” he said. “Catching up on sleep, maybe.”

“Me too,” she began to close her notebook and collect her pens, to Dex’s disappointment.

“You can come by tomorrow night,” Dex said with hope in his voice. “If you’re not busy and you feel like talking.”

She smiled a little and nodded her head. “I’d like that. Maybe instead of me asking about work, we can just hang?”

Dex took her empty coffee mug and wiped a coffee stain with the pad of his thumb. Her question echoed in his head.

“I’d like that,” he answered, meeting her tired eyes. “Maybe I can ask about your life and work for once.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t be getting much,” she laughed, and Dex hoped she was kidding. “But I’ll do my best to highlight the interesting parts.” She began her walk to his door, notebook in her hand. Dex unlocked it from behind her, gently brushing his arm against hers by mistake. He took a step back to give her space.

“Good night, Dex,” she whispered. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

“Good night,” he softly said back. He watched her as she walked halfway down the hall to her apartment. He always waited until she was inside and locked the door before going back and retreating to his bedroom. When she was, he closed his door and locked it. He was alone again.

◎◎◎

Dex wasn’t worried about having her over until the reality finally settled in and he realized that she would be coming over in a different context than usual. He couldn’t remember the last time he hosted something for someone and had food ready—this was possibly his first time ever. When he came home, early for a Friday night, he checked his fridge to see if he had any snacks and felt silly for it—of course, he had nothing, except a carton of milk and some eggs.

He went back out to the corner store and paused in the middle of the aisle. What did she like to eat? He only remembered the time she brought ice cream to his place. He went to the freezer and grabbed the same flavors of Ben and Jerry’s she had once brought: mint chocolate cookie and strawberry cheesecake. Dex balanced the two cartons in his hands and went through the chips aisle. He wasn’t sure what to get, and the options were overwhelming. He settled on a jar of salsa, French onion and guacamole—that way, she’d have more than one option. He also grabbed two kinds of chips: salted and hint of lime. He also threw in a container of chocolate chip cookies.

After leaving the store, he realized that she may be interested in drinking something. He wasn’t a drinker at all—alcohol didn’t mix well with his medication—so he didn’t have a clue of what she may like. Wine? Beer? He found himself inside the liquor store, even more overwhelmed by the options. When was the last time he was in a place like this?

He grabbed one bottle of red wine (Pinot Noir), one bottle of white wine (Sauvignon Blanc), and one bottle of rose for good measure. At the counter, he saw a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels and grabbed it.

Dex had his hands full on his way back to his apartment. He’d never had this much food in his house—the bags practically filled his counter. He laid every snack out but paused midway—they wouldn’t be sitting at his kitchen table. Maybe on the couch? Dex began to move all the snacks to the coffee table. He placed each dip in a bowl and had two more bowls filled with each type of chip he bought. He left the ice cream in the freezer. He put the chocolate-covered pretzels in a smaller bowl.

Then, he put each bottle of wine on the counter so that when she first walked in, she could choose. Dex finally sat down on his couch and checked the time. It was almost 10 PM. She should be home soon.

◎◎◎

His apartment felt cold and dark until she finally graced it with her presence. She was in her black silk pajamas, as Dex correctly predicted was next in her rotation. When she first walked inside Dex’s apartment and saw the line up of wine and snacks, she couldn’t help but smile at how endearing it all was, especially the hopeful look on Dex’s face as he watched her take it all in.

“I wasn’t sure what you’d like,” Dex said, scratching his neck. “So I got a bit of everything.”

“It’s okay,” she looked at him, this well-trained and tough FBI agent who looked like he spent the last hour stressing over salted or hint of lime chips and ended up getting both. “It’s perfect. It’s exactly what I wanted.”

Dex sighed in relief. “I also got different wines you can choose from.”

She looked at each bottle. She was naturally inclined to reach for the red. But she wanted to make sure Dex had a say in the matter, too. “Which do you prefer?” She asked him.

He shook his head. “Oh, I don’t drink. I got that for you. All of it’s for you.”

“Well, if you’re not drinking, then I’m not either,” she said smiling. “I do want to dig into those chocolate-covered pretzels, though.”

“They’re for you,” Dex said.

She walked over to his couch, but Dex stayed standing by his kitchen table. He didn’t take a moment before to take in how different his apartment looked whenever she was in it. Before, everything looked as tidy as it needed to be: empty coffee table, couch lacking warmth, unused empty bowls. But she graced his apartment with her presence by making it feel comfortable. A couch is meant to be sat on, a coffee table meant to have snacks, and bowls meant to have food—just for her. He’s never seen his place so lively and it’s all because of her.

It was like watching a science experiment in real time. The cause and effect. The hypothesis and results. Except, he felt in the thick of the experiment and the results could be a wild card. He was just happy to witness it happening. How she was so good at making it all feel so comfortable. He liked having her around. Dex wanted her to stay a while.

“Well don’t be shy, Dex,” she patted the seat next to her on his couch. “Come stay a while.”

Dex laughed and made his way to his couch. He felt like a stranger in his own house. How should he delicately handle this new context of hanging out? He was used to her having a notebook and her doing the talking. He felt the pressure and was afraid he wouldn’t live up to expectations.

He sat down next to her—not too close. A comfortable distance. He reached for a salted chip and dipped in the guacamole first. During training, they taught agents to start conversations with witnesses or suspects casually. He felt he could apply those tactics here, with her.

“So,” Dex began, chewing his chip of guacamole, “first thing’s first. How was your day at work?”

Dex didn't know he had it in him, to curate and carry a conversation as long as he did with her. He asked her things about her life he didn’t know before—how she got into forensic science, where she’s from, who she used to be. She’s only 22—she’s got her whole life ahead of her, and she’s only getting started.

When she revealed her age, Dex was slightly taken aback. The thought never crossed his mind but now that he knew she was a bit younger than him, he felt that sense of protection he had over her grow in size. All those times she had come home late, he never knew she was vulnerable like that. Maybe it was wrong to think that way… she’s independent and lives on her own. She can take care of herself. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Still, he had to know something.

“My age… you’re not uncomfortable?” Dex asked in a small voice, avoiding eye contact.

“No,” she shook her head. “Not unless you are.”

“I’m not,” Dex answered quickly. “It never crossed my mind to ask how old you were. I didn’t think there was that much of a difference.”

“Seven years is nothing,” she shrugged. Most of my coworkers are that or even more.”

“I just want you to be comfortable,” Dex admitted. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to be here.”

“I want to be here,” she said. “I like talking to you. You’ve told me a lot about the FBI. That’s not the only reason I like talking to you, though.”

“Why’s that?” Dex couldn’t help but ask.

“You’re nice to me,” she simply stated. “I got lucky that you’re my neighbor. I feel safe.”

“Even though you know my line of work isn’t always sunshine and daises—even though you know what I’ve done,” Dex said in a low voice, “You still feel safe?”

“You’ve given me no reason to think otherwise,” she said softly. “You’ve shown me one side of you. I’m shocked you haven’t figured out I’m trying to get to know all of you, Dex.”

Dex held her gaze and felt something blooming slowly in his chest. “What else do you want to know?”

“We can save it for another time. You asked me here tonight because you wanted to get to know me,” she nudged his shoulder with hers, the first physical touch they’d shared all evening.

“That’s right,” Dex said with a small nod.

“Your turn,” She said with a welcoming smile. Dex took a deep breath. Truthfully, he felt the basic questions had run dry. He knew all there was to know about her on the surface: how she got into forensic science, where she studied, where she’s from, where she works. When he was serving time in the army, the comrades he was with often sat in circles in their tents and started playing games like Never Have I Ever or Would You Rather? He didn’t want to play those games with her now, but he wanted to get to know her on a deeper level. Those games typically made people reveal things about themselves. If she felt so safe around him, Dex didn’t see any harm in asking more personal questions.

“Do you remember what your prom was like?” Dex asked with a sideways smile.

“My prom?” Her eyes lit up at the question to Dex’s relief. He nodded. “Oh my, gosh, well, yes. It was such a weird time for me. I actually didn’t have a date my junior year, but senior year I did. I was the worst prom date.”

Dex smiled, trying to live vicariously through her experiences. “I don’t believe that for a second.”

“It’s true. I had a crush on someone else so by the end, I ditched my prom date and went to a different party. But I had so much fun with my friends. I miss the freedom of being that young,” she smiled. “Good music, free food. Sneaking alcohol at the after party. What about you?”

Dex looked away from her and shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t go to prom. I didn’t technically have a prom.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. The institution Dex grew up in threw a makeshift prom for the seniors, but it didn’t have good music. It had free food that came from the cafeteria they ate at every day already. And absolutely no alcohol by any means. And Dex didn’t have a date. “I remember sneaking out to leave early and head back to my room.”

“Room?” She questioned.

“I grew up in a Boys’ Home,” Dex lied again. “They invited other homes for orphans but it was awkward. No one really knew anyone. I swore off events like that after that.”

“When’s the last time you went to an event?”

“Probably then.”

“Dex,” she said his name, “we’ll have to find an event for us to go to and change that.” Dex smiled. He’d only consider it for her.

“What color was your dress?” He asked her.

“White,” she said. “With a bunch of sparkles. My friends gave me shit about it, saying white was for weddings, but I didn’t care. I loved my dress. It was an off-shoulder dress. I felt like a princess.”

Dex tried to imagine it in his mind. White—fitting for her.

“I’m sure you looked like one, too,” Dex said quietly. “Have you ever traveled outside the city?”

“Of course,” she smiled again. “I’ve been for Orlando, Boston… the entire east coast, pretty much. Outside, I’ve been to London.”

“London,” Dex said impressed. “Did you like it?”

“I did but, it’s got nothing on New York. Where have you traveled?”

“I’ve only ever traveled for the army,” Dex answered. “Nowhere exciting. And definitely not for vacation.”

“We’ll use up your PTO days soon,” she nudged his knee with hers. Dex liked the hopefulness in her tone—the idea of what she was saying coming to fruition one day. And he liked that she said we.

“Do you remember your first heartbreak?” Dex asked her.

“Oh, Dex,” she sighed. “Who doesn’t? It happened recently in college. About around the time I was a freshman. Of course, I fell for a guy who was older than me. He had me in the palm of his hand for an entire year… until he graduated and dumped me like that. I was so head over heels for him, but it taught me a great lesson. Never put your life on hold for someone else.”

“That’s true,” Dex said. “I’m sorry he did that to you. That must’ve been hard.”

“It’s okay,” she shrugged. “I hardly think about it now, unless someone asks me. Do you remember yours?”

“Yeah,” Dex replied. “Like you said, who doesn’t?”

“What was it?”

“It’s not a typical heartbreak.”

“It’s all the same feeling.”

“I guess it would be when my parents died,” Dex said, meeting her eyes. “And then I was put in that home when I was a kid.”

“Dex, I’m sorry,” she whispered, scooting closer to Dex on the couch. His right leg was now resting against her left leg. She put her arm around his back and leaned her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Dex whispered back. “It was a long time ago. It made me capable of being on my own at an early age.”

“Do you have other family?” She asked, pulling back to look at him.

“No,” he shook his head. “It’s just me.”

“Well,” she said instantly, “now you’ve got me.”

Dex wanted to tell her that she couldn’t say things like that to him unless she really meant it. But he didn’t want to get serious about it all—didn’t want to ruin the moment.

“Do you remember your first kiss?” She asked him in a lighter voice. Dex laughed.

“Yes,” he nodded. “I had no idea what I was doing. It was awkward. And wet. You?”

She laughed against him. “I had a similar experience. It was so strange at first. I honestly hated it. I felt too young to kiss like that.”

“Yeah,” Dex nodded, trailing off, thinking of another question to ask her. He opened his mouth to say something, wondering if it may be too far, or treading a thin line of what boundaries they already had. Her leg was still pressed against his, but her hands were to herself now. “Do you remember… your first time?” He asked her.

Silence at first. So much silence that Dex had to look at her to make sure she was okay. Her eyes were focused in front of her, avoiding his. He’s never seen her like this—quiet, unsure. Dex wanted to rescind the question immediately and apologize for overstepping a boundary. But then, she gave him a small, ironic smile.

“No,” she answered, shaking her head. Dex thought of every possibility in his head that could make her not remember something like that—having sex for the first time—and each possibility raised concern in him until she finished her answer. “I haven’t had my first time yet.”

It was Dex’s turn to go silent. He looked at her expression—she was trying her hardest to keep an indifferent look, but Dex sensed a tinge of embarrassment from her, and even sadness. He wasn’t sure what surprised him more: that she was a virgin or that she was capable of emitting an emotion he knew all too well. He wanted to kick himself for triggering that emotion out of her.

“I’m sorry,” Dex squinted his eyes, “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “You’re not judging me, are you?”

Dex looked at her in disbelief. How could he judge a girl like her? Dex has killed people before—not in the line of duty. He’s used lethal force; he’s been abandoned. And she thinks that he would judge her over not having ever had sex? Dex felt hollow in his heart for a moment—that she thought for even a second he would ever judge her for something like that. She, who is so kind and sweet—pure—someone Dex is positive he isn’t worthy of having so close to him. She scares him in a lot of ways because of that. But somehow he’s earned her trust. No, there’s no world where Benjamin Poindexter judges her.

“Never,” he breathed out, moving so he was facing her. “I could never judge you for something like that. There’s no shame in it.”

“Sometimes I feel that way, that I haven’t experienced something so intimate before,” she said behind a sad smile. In a lot of ways, Dex hasn’t experienced something so intimate before either. Yes, he’s had sex—but the sex he’s had with partners never felt intimate. It just felt like sex. Soulless, empty, physical. He always felt emptier inside after.

“It’s okay,” Dex comforted her. “It’s not always intimate.”

“It’s not?” She asked him, furrowing her brows. “I don’t know. It seems intimate to me.”

“It is,” Dex nodded, “it can be. But it has to be with the right person. Otherwise, it’s just an act.”

“I don’t want it to be that way,” she admitted, breaking eye contact. “Just an act. I can’t—I’m too sensitive to just do it. It has to mean something. I think that’s why I’ve waited so long. Not because of religious reasons. I’m not waiting for marriage. I just want my first time to be intimate. I want my first time to mean something. I want it to be real. I’ve heard so many stories from my friends saying guys just leave them after they get what they want. I’m not strong enough for that.”

“I understand,” Dex said softly. “I get it. But please know I could never judge you for that. If you don’t judge me for not being pure.”

“Pure,” she laughed, “is that what you think I am now that you know that?”

“No,” Dex shook his head. “I knew you were pure from the moment I met you. I didn’t need to know anything else about you to know that.”

“Why do you say that?” She asked.

“Because,” Dex struggled to find the words. He looked at his hands, her knees, her curious expression. “You talked to me so easily that first night in the elevator. So open. I’m not—I’m not used to that. You were kind. I could tell you were a good person. I—I need that in my life, __,” he said, almost pleading like she was halfway out the door when she was still sitting on the couch next to him.

“I didn’t know you felt that way about me,” she whispered.

“I let you come over every night to talk about my job because you wanted to,” Dex began to say, “but I also let it keep happening because it has kept me sane. Talking to you. Being with you…” he broke eye contact again. “You tell me I make you feel safe,” Dex spoke again. “You make me feel that way, too.” But when Dex says that she makes him feel safe, he doesn’t mean safe from the other people in the building or even New York City. She makes him feel safe from himself.

“I’d never want to do something to make you go away,” Dex continued. “I want you around,” he whispered. “I want you to stay.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she shook her head. She placed her hand on Dex’s knee. Dex slowly brought his hand to cover hers. This was the first direct contact they’d ever had—holding hands. Dex looked at the image—studied how his hand fit perfectly on top of hers. He twisted his fingers so they intertwined. Without thinking, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. She let him. He kissed her knuckles again, then the back of her and, then her wrist, and soon Dex was peppering kisses all the way up the length of her arm, pushing her sleeve up.

“Dex…”

He rolled her sleeve down and held her hand again, waiting for her directive. When she gave no protest, Dex moved her hair behind her and kissed her neck. She gently pushed his chest away from her, but only to look at him. His eyes were dark, full of intensity. She leaned in and closed the space between them, kissing Dex and Dex kissing her back. The moment their lips touched, they both knew it was long overdue. Dex placed his hands on her waist while she held him on his shoulders. His tongue made his way into her mouth and she welcomed it gladly. Dex squeezed her gently and pulled back, resting his forehead on hers, out of breath.

“When’s the last time you’ve had a kiss like that?” She asked. Both of them had soft laughs escape their lips.

“I think that was my first time,” Dex admitted against her lips, “my first time wanting to kiss someone like that.”

“I guess there’s a first time for everything,” she smiled.

Dex kissed her again, gently pressing her to lay down on his couch. She did so she was laying on her back, with Dex leaning over her. She pushed his chest away again, indicating she wanted to speak.

“Dex, I want you to be my first time,” she said.

“What?”

“I want you to take my virginity,” she told him. Dex pulled back completely now. He had to sit with what she was asking him. She leaned up again in concern. “I want it to be with you.”

“__,” he said her name, rubbing his eyes closed. As much as he wanted that, Dex wasn’t sure he was worthy. He wasn’t worthy to be in your presence alone—but to take that from you, the very thing that could change everything—he wasn’t sure he was worthy of that either. You were so good and so pure—to give him that responsibility is to give him the power to potentially ruin that. He couldn’t stand the thought of ruining something else that was so good in his life.

But if it wasn’t going to be him, it was going to be someone else. And the thought of someone else doing this to her—ruining her purity—cut him to the bone. As quickly as his attachment grew in his chest, jealousy did too, at the thought of someone else doing it to her.

Selfishly, he wants to be the one to taint her. Unselfishly, he doesn’t want to ruin what she is.

“You don’t want me,” she shook her head and bit her lip, avoiding eye contact.

“That’s not true,” Dex said. “I do want you.”

“Then why aren’t you saying yes? Why aren't you taking me right now?”

“Because like you said before,” Dex whispered, taking her hands again. “You want it to be special. You want it to mean something. Rushing into it on a spur of the moment thing won’t make it what it should be.”

Tears welled in her eyes, and Dex had never seen her so emotional. It made his heart hammer in his chest. He shifted so he sat closer to her. He kissed her forehead.

“I want you,” he reassured her. “But not right now. You should sleep on it. Really think if you want it to be me. I’d hate to ruin a perfect night by us jumping into it right away.”

She avoided looking at him, but deep down, she knew he was right.

“Okay,” she whispered. “I will.”

He kept looking at her until the look of worry faded from her face. All that was left was exhaustion in the form of half-closed eyes and soft breathing. Dex nudged her with his knee.

“What do you say we call it for tonight?” Dex asked. “It’s late.”

“Yeah,” she nodded, “I should go.”

Dex walked her to her door. As she unlocked it, she turned around to say goodnight again, and as if on cue, Dex twisted her into his arms and gently pushed her against the wall of the hallway, kissing her deeply. He locked her there, between his arms, a leg separating hers. She placed her hands on his chest to steady herself. When he pulled back, he looked away, as if the mere sight of her would make him come completely undone.

Silence followed her into her apartment. Dex retreated back to his, and while she was no longer gracing it with her presence—he felt her everywhere.

◎◎◎

Dex sat at his kitchen counter. His mind was too clouded by his thoughts to focus on anything—his thoughts that were consumed by her. He didn’t realize that by giving her a choice in thinking about what they talked about, he was at the mercy of that decision.

If she ended up not wanting it to be with him, how would that change their relationship? Would she stop coming over? Worse—would she never speak to him again? Dex could’ve easily given her what she wanted in that moment, but at the same time, he didn’t want to ruin what they already had. What had easily landed in his lap without him having to do anything.

On the other hand, if she did still want it to be with him… well, where do they go from there? Not to mention that he would be the one to take that purity away from her—and not in the sense of virginity. But in the sense that someone like him, someone who has killed and is capable of doing much worse, gets to be inside her for the first time. He didn’t feel worthy to be in her presence like that, to be the one to alter her experience with intimacy forever. If she still wanted it to be with him, he would make sure it was special and intimate like she wanted it to be.

But he’s afraid that if this happens, he’ll never be able to let her go. It sounds wrong, but he would feel a sort of possession over her. He was protective over her already; after this, he would be downright territorial. His past lovers have all been with people before him…she would be the first he’d ever be with who hadn’t been touched before.

Touched. Dex felt a cramp in his hands thinking about touching her for the first time. He’d want to map her entire body out; take in how beautiful she looks completely naked. He’d be the first to see her like that. He hoped he’d be the last.

There was a knock at his door.

Dex paused before getting up. It could all change in this next moment. He wasn’t sure which he was hoping more for. He took a deep breath and walked to the door.

There she was in all her glory—her hair had brushed out, messy curls and was pushed to one side, like she had just nervously fixed her hair. She was in a new set of pajamas—pearlescent silk white. She met his eyes for a fleeting moment before looking down—Dex could still she still felt embarrassed, or ashamed. For whatever reason. It should be him who felt like that.

“It’s okay," Dex spoke first. “Whatever your decision is."

“I want it with you, Dex,” she looked up at him with worried eyes. “But if you don’t want it with me, then—“

“Come in,” Dex opened the door for her to step inside. She immediately stood in the middle of his living room as Dex shut and locked his door.

She was holding herself—arms around her stomach, avoiding eye contact. Dex wasn’t used to seeing her so unsure of herself; he was used to seeing her positive, confident, smiling. Looking at him with hopeful eyes. What did he have to do to calm her nerves?

“I want this with you,” Dex said softly, approaching her slowly. “I just want to make sure you truly want this with me.”

“I do,” she affirmed. “More than anything.”

Dex placed his hand on her cheek, studying her features before everything changes. She was right about something—sex is an intimate act. Sex changes things. He knows how it has changed things for him, but he’s not sure how it will change things for her. He wanted to remember what she looked like before the act—before he changed everything. He caressed her cheek with his thumb. He didn’t want her to feel worried. It was written all over her face.

“What are you scared of?” He asked her.

“It hurting,” she said meeting his eyes.

“I’m not going to lie to you,” Dex began, “it’ll hurt at first. But then it won’t. What else are you scared of?”

“Making a mess,” she broke eye contact again. “I may bleed.”

“Don’t worry,” Dex shook his head, whispering. “It’s not a mess you’ll have to clean up. Anything else?”

She bit her lip and met his eyes again. “I don’t want you to stop talking to me after it’s done. I don’t want us to do it, and then that being all that you wanted, and then you stop seeing me or hanging out with me.”

Dex furrowed his brows in disbelief. Here he was, afraid of the same thing, unknowing that she too shared the same fears. Dex would never stop talking to her after it’s done. She knows she’ll be attached to him after—little did she know that Dex would be infinitely more attached to her, for separate reasons. He may be taking her purity, but she’s giving him something worse: hopes that he may find newfound purity in himself.

“___,” he said her name, meeting her eyes. He caressed her cheek some more. “I’m not goin’ anywhere. Once this happens—it won’t be possible for me to let you go.”

She took a long shaky breath. “Okay, Dex. I trust you. I—I think I’m ready.”

Dex continued to caress her cheek as he held her gaze, witnessing her eyes soften in comfort—safety. Trust. “Okay,” he said. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

She blushed in the most adorable way. Avoided eye contact, bit her lip. She nodded. Dex placed two fingers under her chin to lift her to look at him. Dex slowly leaned down to meet her lips with his. And when they finally touched, she fell right into him.

Dex cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand, holding her steady in place as he kissed her. He teased her lips with her tongue, and she opened her mouth to let him in. He started off slowly…sweetly. When she took his hands and moved them to hold her waist, he took it as a sign to deepen the kiss. His tongue danced against hers as he practically inhaled her with kisses. His strong hands rested at either side of her waist.

They both pulled back out of breath. Dex leaned his forehead against hers, eyes closed.

“Let me lay you down,” Dex said in a low voice. She nodded against him and let him lead the way to his bedroom.

She sat at the foot of the bed in the center. She started to shake uncontrollably—from nerves, the AC in his room and from the reality of what was about to happen.

Dex knelt between her knees in front of her. He took her hand and held it in his. He kissed her knuckles and felt her shaking. He looked up at her.

“This is for you,” Dex reminded her. “It’s okay.”

“I’m just nervous,” she said. “I’ve never been completely naked in front of anyone.”

“I’ll ask you if I can do anything before I do it,” Dex said. “Is that okay?”

“Yes,” she nodded. She was taking deep breaths to calm her anxiety. Dex kissed her knuckles again. He placed both her hands on her legs.

“Can I touch your shoulders?” He asked.

She looked confused at first, but nodded anyway. Dex placed his hands on both her shoulders, softly caressing her with his thumbs. He moved his hands down both her arms slowly, feeling the softness of her silk pajamas. When he reached her hands, he held them both.

“Can I unbutton your shirt?”

“Yes,” she breathed softly.

Dex nodded and slowly started to unbutton her shirt one by one. He kept his focus on the buttons—nothing else—definitely not the goosebumps rising on her skin and definitely not at her hard nipples through the shirt. When he was done, only the center of her torso was exposed. She leaned back on her elbows and Dex leaned forward more between her legs, which were now spread a bit more.

Dex could see her heart pounding in her chest. He took right hand and kissed her knuckles. He met her eyes.

“Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” Dex reassured her. She shook her head.

“I don’t want you to stop.”

Dex kissed her hand again. “Can I touch you?”

“Anywhere,” she said in a small voice.

Dex slowly began to trail his hand up the length of her torso, from her stomach to her collarbone. He slipped a few fingers under neath her shirt, dangerously close to her left breast. Dex looked at her once more for permission. All he needed was a small nod to let him know it was okay—and she did. Dex slowly traced his fingers over her breast, feeling her soft supple skin react to his touch—goosebumps, her nipple hard in the palm of his hand. Dex took a deep breath to control his own feelings of arousal—feeling her breast in his hand, realizing he was the first person to ever touch her like this. Dex squeezed her breast lightly and traced his pointer finger underneath her breast, feeling the curve of her soft skin. He pushed the shirt away, exposing her completely. He did the same thing on her other side with his other hand. He slid her shirt completely off and she closed her eyes, leaning fully back.

“You’re beautiful,” Dex whispered. “You’re soft and perfect.”

She opened her eyes. “Touch me more.”

Dex scooped her in his arms and lifted her further up his bed. He knelt between her on the bed and traced his hand on her stomach again. An intrusive thought crossed his mind—would she let him come inside her? Would she want to feel his seed that deeply inside her, knowing the risk? Dex felt his cock harden at the thought of coming inside her for her first time.

He took a deep breath and crossed the thought away. He placed both his hands on her breasts and gently squeezed them again. He leaned down and kissed the skin between her breasts. She closed her eyes in pleasure. Dex kept his hands on her waist and slowly kissed his way to her right breast, kissing it before taking her nipple in his mouth. He licked and sucked her hard nipple, gently wrapping his lips around it and starting a motion of licking and sucking. He swirled his tongue around her nipple and kissed her breast. He did the same thing on the other side.

“How did that feel?” He asked her.

“Good,” she answered in a breathy voice. “Really good.” She was still shaking. Dex was starting to love the idea of him making her shake like that.

“Good,” he said. Dex began to pepper kisses down the length of her torso, holding his hands on either side of her waist. She breathed deeply and pressed her head into his pillow, bracing herself for whatever was next. He played with the hem of her pajama pants and looked up at her with a slight sense of urgency.

“Can I take these off?” Dex asked.

“Yes,” she breathed, closing her eyes.

In one single slip, Dex took her pajama pants and underwear off, completely exposing her to him. Dex gazed at her sex which was slightly glistening from how wet she was, and then he noticed her slightly shaking again. He placed his hands on her thighs and kissed her on either side, trying to hold her steady.

“It’s okay,” Dex whispered. “Just tell me if you want to stop.”

“I don’t,” she said. “I’ll stop shaking soon.”

Dex secretly hoped she wouldn’t. He slowly slid his right hand over to her inner thigh and began to draw small circles. He slowly inched his way over to touch her pussy. He ever so gently placed the pad of his thumb on her clit, mimicking the small circles he just drew on her thigh before. She shivered at his touch and Dex watched her carefully. He mindlessly kept rubbing her clit as he watched her expression change from tense to relaxed.

“That feels really good,” she whispered.

“Let me know how this feels,” Dex said in a low voice. He slowly knelt between her legs, pushing them farther apart. He placed his entire mouth on her pussy and began to lap slowly at her slick folds. He started from the bottom and licked slowly up to her clit.

“Oh,” she moaned in a slightly pitched voice. Her legs shifted against Dex’s head, which was welcomed. Dex continued to lap at her wetness, completely putting his entire mouth on her sex. He pulled back momentarily to insert one finger in her tight pussy. She gasped at the tension, grabbing onto the fitted sheets. Dex reached his other hand up and took her hand, indicating that she could hold onto him. He pulled his finger and met his lips to her pussy again, this time moving his tongue around faster than before. His lips were locked on her wetness, and he began to feel himself get lost in the way she felt against his mouth, like this was his last meal on earth. She squirmed against his face, breathing deeply. She reached to pull on his hair to channel how he was making her feel. His hand gripped her thigh while the other held onto her ankle.

Dex focused his sucking on her clit and he paid mind to how she was breathing—he didn’t want her to come yet. Her eyes were closed, mouth half open, brows furrowed together. With his lips still on her pussy, Dex looked up at her and locked eyes for a moment with her before she closed them again and sighed into his pillow. He took one last lap at her wetness before pulling back and kissing both of her inner thighs.

“Dex…”

“You okay?” He licked his lips.

She only nodded, slightly disappointed by how cold she felt now that he wasn’t touching her. Dex could sense she wanted more. He could sense she was ready. He took off his shirt and pants, exposing himself to her. He couldn’t remember the last time he was bare in front of someone, but he didn’t care—all those times before didn’t matter. Only now did.

His cock was hard, pre-cum leaking at the tip. Dex was slightly surprised that she reached down to touch him, gently running her thumb over his tip. He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath. He placed his hands under the small of her back and lifted her up his bed, so she lay perfectly in the middle. He was hovering over her now—his cock dangerously close to her wetness, but not touching. They looked at each other for a moment, Dex looking deeply into her eyes—he couldn’t tell what she felt. Fear, anticipation, aroused? A mix of all three, he supposed. Because it’s exactly how he felt, too. Knowing that after this, their entire dynamic would change. For better or worse.

She spread her legs wider and placed her hands on his face. Dex leaned down and kissed her gently.

“You still want this?” He asked her.

“Yes.” She swallowed hard. “Please be gentle.”

“I will,” Dex nodded, his hot breath hitting her skin. He pushed a strand of hair away from her flushed face. He kissed her between her eyebrows.

Dex slowly lined up his cock at her entrance and rubbed his tip against her folds, getting himself wet with her pussy. He took a deep breath and clenched his jaw. Her eyes were closed, but he watched her as he ever so slowly tried to push himself inside her. He was too big for her to enter easily, and she was too tight for him to go any harder. She said gentle, and that’s exactly what he did. She took a sharp intake of breath and her heart was beating hard against her chest. Dex could sense her anxiety and kissed her forehead again as he tried to push himself inside her more. Slowly, inch by inch, he pushed himself inside her tight pussy, and in one quick thrust, Dex was completely inside her. They both reacted in their own way—Dex letting out the deepest sigh he’s ever taken, and her gasping for air from the pain.

“Dex, Dex,” she whispered in a slight panic.

“Shh,” Dex was trying to keep himself focused but it was hard to while he felt her tight pussy completely encase him while at the same time soften her worries. “It’ll get better. I’m going to go back and forth.”

She nodded and kept her eyes shut, a pained expression on her face. Dex felt incredible inside her, but this wasn’t about him. It was all for her.

He slowly pulled out, and she could feel the difference immediately. He felt so big inside her that when he almost pulled out, she felt so empty—she needed to feel him like that all the time. Close, inside, tangled up with her softness.

When he pushed back in, he couldn’t help the moan that slipped out of his lips. She was shaking, and her shaking at his cock inside her, ignited something primal in him. He was the first person to ever feel her like this and make her feel this way, and that thought alone spurred Dex on to keep thrusting inside her. She was completely soaking and he could feel her start to mold to his cock.

“Dex,” she whispered his name, “it’s starting to feel different.”

“How?” He uttered out while he still slowly went back and forth inside her.

“Good,” she opened her eyes finally and met his dark ones. “Really good. I—“

“You want more?” Dex asked, and it was his turn to close his eyes.

“I want more,” she nodded.

Dex wasted no time in speeding up his thrusts inside her. He went even deeper, feeling the tip of his cock touch the back of her cervix. He was imprinting his size on her. She knew she would feel him for days after. She felt so velvety, soft, wet and tight around his cock, Dex’s mouth was half open and his eyes were closed as he continued to thrust inside her.

“More, Dex,” she sighed.

His arms were under her, and hers were around his shoulders. Dex kept one arm under her and held onto his bed frame to get a better angle at fucking her, because now that’s what they were doing. Dex pounded inside her tight pussy, wetness and possibly blood coating both of them and his sheets. He watched her as she closed her eyes, mouth half open, as he continued to fuck her into being all his. He didn’t know what he liked more—being inside her or watching how much she enjoyed him being inside her. She fluttered her eyes open for a moment, meeting his, and Dex instantly closed his eyes. He retreated his arm back from the bed frame and scooped her in his arms, pressing his forehead against hers.

She closed her eyes again and had an expression of arousal, her eyebrows knitted together and her mouth slightly open. She opened her eyes and suddenly felt very aware of what was happening between their two sexes—it was a mix of wetness from her and something else more runny—blood. Her cheeks flushed red in embarrassment, Dex could tell, and she tried to look between them as he kept thrusting his cock inside her, unsure if she should allow herself to feel good or worry about the mess she’s making.

Dex followed her line of view and blocked it with his dark eyes.

“Look at me,” he whispered. “Look at me. How do you feel?”

She met his eyes and sighed heavily, “But Dex—“

“Don’t,” he pressed his forehead firmly against hers, continuing to pound into her, feeling the tip of his cock touch the back of her cervix. “Focus on me.”

Focus on him she did—the way he was hitting her g-spot repetitively made her spread her legs wider and push him in even more. He filled her up so completely, so well, she was sure to feel him for days.

“Oh, God, Dex,” she moaned, louder than before, “something’s happening—“

“Let it,” Dex whispered against her lips, closing his eyes and focusing on hitting her sweet spot. “Come for me, __. Come for me…come for me…”

“Dex!” Her pussy convulsed around his cock as she finally reached climax for the first time. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly against her, holding on like she was holding on for life. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest and she lost her breath and regained it as she held onto his warm body. He was still inside her, thrusting more gently now. He kissed her neck, kissed the skin behind her ear, kissed her forehead and kissed her lip as he continued to move inside and out of her.

“Oh,” Dex whispered against her lips. “I’m right behind you—“

“Inside me,” she said in a whisper, “please.”

Dex closed his eyes as he felt himself release his seed inside her tight pussy, feeling it coat all over her inside, he was shaking against her. It was her turn to kiss him, to bring him back down from his own high.

He laid his entire body weight on her, which was welcomed. His cock was still inside her, resting, until he slowly pulled out of her. She held him tighter. He breathed her in deeply, kissing her shoulder. She ran her fingers through his dirty blonde hair.

He pulled back, gazed in her eyes for a moment.

“Let me get a towel,” Dex said softly.

He pulled the sheets over her and when he came back, he cleaned between her legs as best as he could while she fell asleep. Dex threw the towel in the hamper, a clean, perfect throw, and crawled back under the sheets with her. He pulled her in tightly, and she molded against him like she was meant to be there. It may have been her first time, but he was certain this was his first time feeling the attachment in the aftermath. He hoped this wouldn’t be their last.

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mofongomuncher · 2 months ago

Text

True Love’s Kiss

Ben Poindexter x reader

Words: 788

Author's note: I feel like I haven’t written for Dex in years!!! Anyways I’m in my Dex era again so feel free to request for him. This was based on a prompt I found somewhere that said, Smooching them all over the face, because that's the only thing that gets them to wake up

To this day there were times when Dex couldn’t believe you were right there in front of him.

To him you were so beautiful, so captivating, so untouchable. Yet here he was, his face only a few inches apart from your own as he waited for you to wake.

The day was stressful for Dex, and knowing that, the moment you two arrived from work you settled in comfy clothes before convincing him to take a small nap together to relax. Despite this plan derailing him from his usual routine, he wasn’t upset, he could never grow upset when spending time with you.

While Dex woke up earlier than anticipated, his intent was to let you rest some more, but as he continued staring at every detail that decorated every feature on your face, his lips became like a magnet as they were unconsciously drawn to your cheek.

He reached your cheek with a kiss. It was a soft kiss, a soft, calm and quiet kiss.

His heart quickened slightly as he retracted. You looked so tranquil he felt a little bit of nervousness in his actions.

Once again though, just as before his lips met your face, this time slightly higher onto your cheekbone. As his lips rested there for a mere moment he felt your face twitch and he cautiously leaned back.

But still, you were relaxed. Now Dex was starting to feel a little cheeky as he began to wonder how many kisses it would take for you to wake up. So, he placed his next kiss on your nose, which twitched just as your cheekbone had done.

When he distanced himself this time, his eyes fell to your lips and again he began to feel those jitters from earlier. He’s kissed your lips hundreds of times before, but right now, in this moment it felt like a whole new experience.

Especially as he quickly realized how much this scenario was reminding him of a cursed sleeping princess. You were the gorgeous princess that needed awakening from true love’s kiss. Did that make him the prince?

Dex hardly felt like the prince, if anything he considered himself to relate more to the beast in beauty in the beast, or maybe the ogre in shrek. Did he really have the right to lay here and kiss the alluring princess? But still even those characters got their princesses in the end.

Before Dex could spiral down the self-deprecation hole any further he glanced at your face as a whole reminding himself of how happy he was. He was happy you were in his life, happy you chose him, happy you were right in front of him.

He loved you. And no one would ever love you as much as he did.

With that thought he finally leaned in again, his lips finding their place against yours.

Just as all the others it was a chaste, simple kiss.

As his lips were to yours he felt your mouth curve a tiny bit before he felt them press back against his.

But again your lips broke into a smile causing him to retract once again.

He stared while you looked back at him with a cheesy grin now taking over your expression.

As if you had just read his mind you sigh, “…my prince, you saved me.”

Dex’s face matches yours and after a moment of consideration he followed you, “of course. Anything for my princess,” he replied, making you giggle before you reached out brushing your hand down his face, “now close your eyes, I wanna be the one to save you.”

Dex thought the whole idea a little silly but he did so anyway.

As per instruction Dex lay on his back, his hands atop one another as they rested on his stomach. His face remained neutral apart from the tiniest of curves that were threatening to break on his lips. He felt movement on your end of the bed and he waited.

…and waited.

And when nothing happened, he opened one eye catching you lying again on your side looking right back at him with a goofy smile on.

“Hey,” he said, eyes both open now.

“What? I didn’t say when I’d break the spell.”

Smile growing, he propped up, turning to his side and resting on his shoulder, “oh you’re going to break this spell, right now,” he said quickly lowering himself to your level and practically stealing a kiss. This time with a little more affection as he held one hand to your chin, cradling it so carefully.

You were going to argue against the unwarranted kiss but you were so captivated by his lips that you decided to let him go.

This time.

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mofongomuncher · 2 months ago

Text

Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter — Your Initial

Synopsis: After one too many mistakes, too many sour outcomes he had to bring to the boss' door, Dex knew that the thin safetynet he thought he was under was just a mere imagination.

wrote this on my phone cause I'm out on a trip. will fix each and every mistake once I get my hands on a laptop.

Dex' hands roam around her body as if they haven't travelled every inch of her skin. His kisses were desperate, needy, and more vigorous with every pause of breath he took. His figure pins her against the shelves, doing its best to eliminate as much space as possible. The storage room was crammed enough as it is, but even with the close proximity, there seems to be planets between them, still.

His head was pounding. The ringing in his ears would only grow even louder with each text he received from the Kingpin. He knew that he's messed up. Too many tasks left unfinished, targets slipped, and businesses unsealed, that it would only be a matter of time until he gets some disciplinary action. Until he would become another name in Fisk's list. Until he, or worse, she, would become the one chased by the crosshair.

At first, Dex revels in the power he gained when Fisk scouted him. He enjoyed the freedom he had, standing above the law as he unleashed the worst kinds of horror to anyone he needed to take care of. But after one too many mistakes, too many sour outcomes he had to bring to the boss' door, he knew that the thin safetynet he thought he was under was just a mere imagination.

There's nobody he could turn to, no enforcement that he could seek help from cause everything was owned by Fisk. Everyone works for him, whether or not they realise it.

"Dex, hey," she calls softly between their kisses, her giggles trailing her voice "I'm not going anywhere, we can take a breath for a minute,"

He forces a smile, "Why, you don't enjoy my kisses?"

"On the contrary, I adore them a lot," she replies, resting her hands around his neck as she takes a soft peck to the tip of his nose "which is why I'd very much prefer to savour it,"

Dex nods, placing a kiss to her forehead.

She watches him intently. The hue under his eyes was looking more noticeable. Fatigue was dripping out of him, and that displeased frown was etched on his lips. Something was bothering him.

"Trouble sleeping?" she begins to ask, her fingers combed through the blond strands of his hair "has Hattley been giving you a hard time?"

"You can say that," Dex sighs, leaning into her gentle touch "there's this.. task, that I keep on failing, and I'm pretty sure they're going to hang me by the neck if I fail again the next time,"

"What kind of task?"

He chuckles, shaking his head, "You know I can't tell you, it's confidential,"

"You and your mysteries," rolling her eyes, she comments with a slight frown "you know, maybe it'll make you feel better to shine light on some of these secrets,"

He remains silent, watching her with no expression.

"Starting with us, maybe? We can stop going to storage rooms and just.. you know, be a normal couple out in the day," she coaxes, her finger now travels down to his undereye, gently caressing the bags that were more visible than the usual "maybe that'll give your mind a little more peace?"

Dex lets out an exasperated sigh. The muscles on his jaws were tensed now, veins more visible on his forehead. He was conflicted. He knew just how much it meant for her, to be out in public with their relationship, but it would only serve as putting bounty on her head. At this point, he couldn't even be too sure that their relationship was still a business of two. With Fisk's eyes on every corner and Murdock's alien abilities, Dex could only do so much to try and keep her under wraps.

Silently, he places his hands on her cheeks. The gesture was firm and a little authoritative, but she remains silent and follows his lead. He eyes her straight, a total contrast to the gentle and uncertain stare she gives back at him.

"I love you," he begins, his tone dogmatic as if it was a universal fact "I would burn the world to the ground, if it means saving you. If it means keeping you safe from all those filth on the street. There is no one, and I mean by no one, that I would not sacrifice for you,"

Her brows knit, confused as to how their conversation could take such a turn.

"I just— With everything going on, Fisk on that hotel, Daredevil going rampant, I just don't think putting us out there would do us good,"

"What does Fisk and Daredevil have to do with us?" she questions, clearly at lost on what he's trying to say "if you're worried about my safety, I have my gun with me at all times, and I doubt I'll be in any of their priority list. I'm just a nobody,"

"But you're not a nobody to me, and I'm not willing to take that risk," he argues adamantly "look, we can have this discussion some other time, okay? Not now,"

It was obvious that she has more words to spill, more arguments to give, but the despair Dex shows was a little too concerning for her to prolong the discussion, so she surrenders with a nod. Forcing a smile and placing a kiss to his cheek to help untangle the tension on his muscles.

Dex smiles a little, showing gratitude for the gentle gesture before his lips find their way back to her neck, "What's your plan tonight?"

"I don't know, nothing on the schedule yet," she answers.

"How does a dinner date, sound? Been a while since we visited that favourite restaurant of yours,"

"Yeah? Tonight?" she asks, intrigued "wouldn't they call you to watch over Fisk?"

Dex pauses his kisses, lips pursed as he gives it a thought, "They haven't called me for anything, so I should be free for the night," he pulls her closer by the waist, the corners of his lips turning upwards as that gleeful grin returns to her face "so, what do you say?"

"Pick me up at seven?"

He nods, his finger reaches to the 'D' initial hanging on her neck that he got her a couple months back, "You got it, Princess,"

—-

Dex' hair was dishevelled. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone, eyes bloodshot from the panic that's starting to poison his veins. He knew that he's jabbed on the beast a little too frequently lately, but he never would have imagined that he needed to fix everything now.

The stoic welcome in Fisk's tone was gone when he entered the suite. There was a sense of disapproval in the superior's expression, a little more firmness in the order he's given that it shook all the confidence Dex has left in himself. As if there was a silent hidden message that he should understand: last chance, or he's out for good.

Now Dex may never fear for his safety. He's far more capable to eliminate anyone, let alone defend himself, but with Fisk and all the bidding he's done for him, Dex couldn't be certain of the degree his boss would be willing to commit should he make another mistake tonight. And with her in the equation, he knew that there could never be a risk small enough to overlook.

And so he remained quiet when Fisk gave him the mission to go to the abandoned building on the other side of town. There, on the twenty-second floor, he would find a parcel in the middle of the empty ballroom. The parcel itself was of nothing. His main objective was to neutralise Matt Murdock who would be on the move to get his hands on the parcel first and bring his head to Fisk.

There was some knot tightening in his stomach, telling him that something wasn't right when there's a whole meeting with Fisk's past allies downtown. Every criminal, every drug lords that has ever worked with Fisk would be in that building and Dex knew just how crucial it is for his boss to strengthened his crew. Most of the bureau agents are sent to secure the event, and he was fairly certain that he would be called last minute to add another layer of protection for the meeting, yet here he was, running back to his apartment to get the daredevil suit before having to run to the other side of town.

His thumb dials for her number the moment he gets to his apartment. It was 6:24. There would be no chance for him to followup with that dinner now and the last thing he needs to wrap the night with is standing her up for a date he initiated.

"Hey, Princess," Dex greets when his call went straight to voice mail "listen, I think we have to do a raincheck with that dinner tonight. Something came up with Fisk and I can't bail myself out. I'm really sorry, I'll make it up to you, okay? Call me back when you get this. Bye,"

He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should send another voice message just to tell her that he loves her. Something about today makes him want to say it a million times more than yesterday. Neither of them were ever this clingy. The word typically only roll out of their tongues when they were dancing on the bed, but there's this urge to be more vocal about what he feels for her today. A certain kind of need that he was never familiar with. And if Dex was an honest man, he'd admit that this feeling scares him shitless.

Pushing his pride aside, he types in for one last text before he opens his safe and put the daredevil suit on.

I love you, call me back. D

—-

When Matt got to the abandoned building, his confusion only grew bigger as the ticking he heard from the parcel was just of a decoy. It was just some cheap electrical circuit with materials of a bomb yet none of the circuits were connected to each other. Next to it was a gold necklace with the initial D. It evidently belongs to someone as the perfume of its owner was still strong on the item, yet Matt couldn't recall anyone who wears such personalised scent.

Before Matt could give his ponder a little more time, Dex' throw of a blade nearly hit the back of his head had he not move in time. The two men then begin to entangle themselves into a real fight, kicking the parcel and its content during their commotion.

Dex' punches were getting more and more violent. His scream animalistic and the beating of his heart was so erratic Matt wonders if it would give in first before he could actually knock the phoney vigilante down.

"You smell like her," Matt notes when he got a whiff of the scent from Dex.

"Who?" Dex asks but his tone was more of a demand. From the corner of his eye, he could see something gleaming under his foot. The gold necklace was reflecting the dim light of the building and when he picked the item up, Dex blood went cold "how did you get this?"

"It was in the box with that fake bomb," Matt answers through his cough of blood.

Dex grabbed him by the collar, spitting on his face, "I swear to God if you touch her—"

"It was in the box," Matt repeats, his tone steady and unwavering "It was Fisk,"

Dex dropped Matt to the ground with a loud thud. He takes a few steps back, letting the new information to sink in. The necklace dangling by his hand feels heavier by the second. Every horrific scenarios start to play in his head. What was the necklace doing here? How did Fisk get it? What's happened to her?

Abandoning his mission, Dex frantically runs out of the building. He couldn't care less about failing another task, about facing the consequence of his ill-delivered results. He tosses the daredevil helmet away as he jumps into his car. He rummages his bag, desperately trying to find his phone as he ignites the vehicle.

"Pick up, baby, pick up," he desperately prays as his foot steps on the gas.

"Dex? Hi, I was just—"

"Where are you?" he cuts in, yelling at her in panic "tell me, where the hell are you right now?!"

"I'm at the town business meeting thing with everyone else," she explains, her voice slightly distorted from the bad signal "The whole bureau was sent to secure this meeting. I was just about to call you cause Hattley said you should be here too. Where are you?"

"Baby, listen to me, okay? I want you to listen to me carefully, get out of that damn building, okay? I'm on my way there, I'll be there in a minute just— Get out of that building now,"

A confused scoff escaped her lips, brows now furrowed from the illogical demand he was making, "What are you talking about? I'm literally in charge of the main event, I can't just leave the building,"

"They put you— What?"

"I know, it's crazy. It should've been Ramirez, but Hattley said he's needed elsewhere so they appointed me last minute,"

Dex was pulling his hair by now. He should've seen it. Fisk puts her there while driving him as far as possible so he could put her in the open. Taunting and mocking him with just how little control he has over his life. Dex was never in charge of anything, it was always Fisk, and Fisk only.

"Dex, are you there?" she asks after a minute of his silence "listen, the meeting is going to start anytime soon, so I won't be on my phone—"

"You're not listening to me! Get the fuck out of that building now!" Dex yells in frustration "run out of it, jump if you need to, just fucking get out of there!"

"I can't jump out, I'm literally on the twenty-second floor!" she argues, completely missing the irony of her position "what is wrong with you?! Just— get here and we'll talk about it, okay?"

"No, there's no time! Just listen to me, please," he begs, choking on his own tears now as he's starting to see the building she's at "please, I'll explain everything later, just get out of there for now, please. I love you, please, listen to me,"

She was starting to feel conflicted. The event is starting any minute now and she would never see any bigger opportunity to secure her position in the bureau more than now, but the begging Dex makes is twisting her chest. He was full on crying and choking out of his words now, and it's certainly not a familiar thing for her to see. Something was wrong and she might be in the middle of it.

"Okay, okay, I'll come out," she finally gives in, moving her feet to the exit door "The things I do for you, Benjamin Po—"

Her words hung on the air as the ground shook. Dex watches with his own eyes how the building that was just a few blocks away from him exploded. Fire catches up as soon as the blast happened and within seconds, the whole building collapse from the violent destruction.

People were running away from the scene as the air turns dusty and grey, yet Dex jumped out of his car to run closer. His feet burns, tripping from all the debris that now laid on the road from the explosion. His eyes stings, but he couldn't look away from the blaze that has engulfed the building. He watches as fire dances against the concrete walls, turning everything it touches burnt and ashen.

And as Dex' feet gave in, as he kneels on the road a few metres away from the building, he knew that he is out for good.

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mofongomuncher · 3 months ago

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Carried Away. M. Murdock.

Matt gets a little excited when his partner rides his face

Warnings: NSFW. Face sitting, face riding, cunnilingus, swearing, cum, cum eating, Matt enjoys eating out his partner way too much. (if there’s such a thing.

This one’s for my babes @waywardxrhea @parker-murdock @zomtart @sleepysleepymom @justvalkyrie and @dorothleah you guys gas me up too much 😭

“Holy shit-“ You gasped softly when one of Matt’s arms pushed up from your stomach to grip your breast, tweaking the nipple harshly so that it went electricity down your belly directly to your clit. Matt moaned against your pussy when you gripped the headboard with one hand, rocking gently into his face so the bridge of his nose ground against you perfectly.

Matt was nowhere near complaining, making sinful noises into your skin as he gripped your ass cheek with his other hand, holding you taut to his face as he ate you furiously from below. His jaw left slight beard burn from his stubble on the inside of your thighs as he moved his mouth, but neither of you particularly cared. You especially didn’t when he sucked your clit into his mouth and grazed it with his teeth, letting it go with a a soft smacking sound as he widened his mouth to trail his tongue from your pretty hole up to the soft bundle of nerves and pleasure.

“Fuck, Matt.” You whimpered, legs shaking slightly as your eyes closed, leaning back from the headboard to change the angle, moaning as the sensations overwhelmed you. His tongue was fucking everywhere. Touching every inch of you that had been laid over his face, licking and sucking with an almost desperate enthusiasm.

The only response he gave was a throat groan, which brought a gentle squeak from your throat at the delicious vibration. A squeak that turned into a soft cry when his teeth once again nipped gently at the skin above your clit.

“God, Matt, please, i’m so close.” You whined, arching your back into the pleasure as he continued his current rhythm, pulling wave after wave of pleasure from your hot, flushed body. Without thinking, you reached behind you with one hand, fingers outstretched. You’d barely touched the underside of his cock before his hips bucked and you felt his abdomen tense in the way his torso moved.

“Shit-“ Was all you heard before a loud, stuttering groan left his chest, the vibrations pulling you over the edge as hot, wet droplets spurted into your hand and forearm. You moaned at the realization, gently rubbing up and down his twitching shaft as he continued to cum into your hand, hips twitching and squirming even as he still continued to eat you. Pulling you through the waves of your orgasm like you pulled him through his.

It felt like hours before he finally tapped the back of your thigh and you rolled off of him, letting his overstimulated cock flop onto his belly. You smiled to yourself in satisfaction, licking the pearly cum from your palm and wrist with a soft laugh.

“If I knew you could come from just me sitting on your face we would have tried that ages ago.” Matt flushed at the comment and smacked your leg, chuckling half-heartedly.

“Don’t tease.”

“Why not?” You sighed, basking in the afterglow of your orgasm. “That was the hottest thing i’ve ever seen.”

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mofongomuncher · 3 months ago

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Aim For My Heart (Part 1)

Pairing: Benjamin Poindexter x Reader

Summary: One random morning, she buys him a coffee when the barista gets his order wrong–and ever since, Dex has been entranced.

Genres: light angst in the beginning, fluff, making out

A/N: This first part is all fluff! So I hope you guys like it! This is my first time writing Dex so I hope I got his character right :)

TAGS: @danzer8705 @pcrushinnerd (let me know if you want to be tagged or if I missed you)

credit to the owner of this gif!!!

Drip drip.

Benjamin Poindexter’s brown eyes shoot open at the annoying sound of his sink’s leaky faucet.

Drip drip.

He attempts to ignore the sound. He shuts his eyes and readjusts himself in bed. He takes a deep breath.

Drip drip.

He’s had enough. He can’t stand it.

Kicking the sheets off himself, Dex huffs out of bed and stomps to the kitchen to fix the faucet. He rips a paper towel off a roll seamlessly and wipes the nozzle. He waits a moment to see if it works. Hand on his waist, he stares at the nozzle of the faucet, almost daring it to drip again. After 45 seconds, he decides it worked.

He goes back into his room and crawls into bed. In an instant, he falls back asleep.

***

Another dreadful day.

He can’t remember when his days started to feel like chores he had to get done. Was it when he was put in an orphanage? Was it when his dreams of becoming a professional pitcher were taken away? Was it when his therapist, Dr. Mercer, the only person who ever understood him, passed away?

When was it?

It seemed he was accurate with everything else in his life except when it came to pinpointing an exact moment when it started to fall apart. And it’s been falling apart slowly every day.

Still—he needs to have coffee to somewhat function. He throws the empty coffee bag out in the trash and turns his hands into fists as he rests them on his clean marble countertop. Why do things like this get under his skin? Something as simple as running out of ground coffee? He looks up and is met with his reflection in the microwave. Sometimes, he can barely recognize himself.

After a few moments, he decides he’ll have to stop at the corner coffee shop, which he hates to do. He hates being around people. He hates pretending to be normal. He hates that he has to put on an act. He hates the fake smile he gives when he orders his coffee; he hates waiting in line. The anticipation of waiting kills him inside. He hates seeing the barista accidentally spill a little of his coffee on the counter. It takes everything in him to not throw the cup away out of spite. It takes everything in him to not react violently over something so small.

“You will build your life on pillars of order,” Dr. Mercer had once told him. Pillars of order. Pillars of order. Pillars of order.

He’s trying to be better every day. He tries to follow his code, but it’s so hard without someone to guide him, like a North Star. Even though he doesn’t have that anymore, he still tries to be better. He still tries to act normal. Often though, he wonders if he’ll ever be able to live his life on his own without a guiding light.

No, he thinks to himself. Because people get hurt. Every time. Including him. Most of all, including him.

As he takes a sip of his hazelnut coffee, he immediately frowns at the taste. It’s not hazelnut at all—it’s mocha. He hates mocha. And he hates the fact even more that he has to go back inside that dreadful place and order a new coffee—one they will probably charge him again for.

And of course, the line of people. He takes a deep breath to calm his nerves. Was it the people he didn’t like, or the thought of interacting with them?

After five whole minutes of waiting in line—Nadeem would be on his ass for being late—Dex finally approaches the same barista at the counter who took his order before. As calmly as he can, he forces a smile.

“Hi. I ordered a hazelnut coffee, but I got a mocha instead. Could I please get a new cup?” Dex asks as he tries to ask the question like he hasn’t rehearsed it in his head a thousand times. He slides the cup across the counter.

The barista, a young man with red hair and freckles, nods and looks at the screen in front of him. He frowns. Dex’s heart plummets in his stomach.

“I’m so sorry. We just sold our last hazelnut of the day. We can do—“

“He can have mine,” a third voice interjects. The person it comes from is feminine—light, and friendly. Qualities Dex isn’t used to being around. Qualities Dex pretends to have. When he follows the sound of the voice, he meets a young woman standing a few feet beside him.

She's younger than him, but not by much. She has the most beautiful smile and kindest eyes he’s ever seen. The smoothest, most perfect face. Yes, she’s perfect, he thinks. Perfect to him. He’s speechless as she holds out her cup of hazelnut coffee for him to take.

“I didn’t drink from it yet if that makes you feel better,” she said sheepishly as she caught him staring at her.

“Then what will you have?” Dex asks her.

“I told myself I’d do one kind act today and not expect anything in return. I’m okay. You can have my coffee,” she smiles again, and Dex’s chest feels as warm as the cup in his hand as she hands it to him. Their fingers brush for the smallest of seconds and it’s entrancing to Dex. He smiles at her—not forced at all. She’s already on her way out as she wishes him a good day. He watches as her shrinking figure exits the coffee shop. He doesn’t want this to be the last time he ever sees her. She's the first person to show him an ounce of kindness in a long time. Her hair swayed back and forth as she walked out the door and it flew behind her as the wind came in. She's the most beautiful person he’s seen in a long time.

And she was so nice to him. That feeling was addictive.

“Sir?” The young barista called. “I need to take the next guest’s order.”

Dex ignores him, ignores all the people in the coffee shop he pushes past. His gaze is stuck on her path. He follows where she left, her coffee in his hand. He exits the coffee shop. How could she already be gone from his reach?

He sees her down the block as she makes a right turn.

Dex isn’t far behind.

***

The next time he sees her, he owes her a coffee.

He made sure to get to the coffee shop earlier than normal the next day. He ordered two medium hazelnut coffees from the same barista who had taken his order the previous day. Dex feels lighter in his step—a rare surge of confidence in his entire body. He even decided to wear his FBI bomber jacket. He normally liked to hide what his profession was but thought that maybe it would impress her… and hopefully not scare her. He brushed his dirty blonde hair neatly and even sprayed on cologne.

He waited at a table near the front and kept an eye on the clock. He had enough time to bring her coffee and make it to work before nine. He watched the door like a hawk, watching carefully as each person entered the shop.

And then finally, she came in.

She wore a long trench coat and tall boots. Her hair was freshly windblown and she looked slightly flustered, like she was in a rush. Good thing she wouldn’t have to wait in the already growing line to order coffee.

Dex sees as she audibly sighs at the sight of the line.

“I owe you a coffee,” Dex calls out confidently as he rises from his seat. She looks over at him, frazzled at first, until recognition settles in her features and she seems to—dare he think—calm down. He’s made her calm down.

“You don’t,” she says carefully, eyes glancing at the FBI logo on his jacket, “but something tells me if I don’t accept this coffee, you’ll put me on the Most Wanted list.”

Dex laughs—a real laugh—and hands her the cup of coffee. Their fingers brush again. He’s entranced by her touch, again.

“I could never,” Dex says. “I didn’t get to say thank you for yesterday. So thank you. You have no idea how messed up my day could’ve been without my morning cup.”

“Trust me, I do,” she smiled. “And you’re welcome. And thank you—for my cup today,” she blushed as she fumbled over her words. Dex felt that familiar warm feeling spread through his chest the longer he looked at her.

“I’m Ben Poindexter… or Dex,” he introduces himself, holding out his hand. She accepts it with ease and shakes his hand. She introduces herself and smiles. Dex repeats her name in his mind to memorization.

“On your way to work?” He asks.

“Yeah,” she answers, “late, honestly. But now that I got my coffee early, I can spare a few minutes. Where’s the uh—FBI office?”

“Just a few blocks down. Mind if I walk with you?”

“Not at all,” she smiles.

Dex holds the door for her and lets her walk out first. He scans the area outside—normally he doesn’t check for threats (like he should) but now he has a reason to make sure the surrounding area is safe.

They both begin to walk down the block. He matches her steps.

“What do you do?” Dex asks.

“I work at a therapist’s office. Client relations—not as daunting as being an FBI agent—is that what you are?”

“Special Agent,” Dex gently corrects. Dex perks when she mentions she works at a therapist’s office. “It’s not as fancy as it sounds, though.”

“I’m sure you’ve seen some shit,” she replies, shivering a little.“I can’t imagine.”

“Yeah, it can get tough,” he sighs, “but you get used to it after a while. Do you like working at the therapist’s office ?”

“I do. You learn a lot about people. I’m not a doctor, but I help where I can.”

“You must have a lot of patience,” Dex muses. He enjoys the cool breeze hitting his face. She looks like she's fighting against it. If the cold weather were a physical being, he’d choke the living life out of it for making her uncomfortable.

“I try to,” she smiles again, crossing her arms across her chest to keep warm. Dex feels a strong urge to wrap his arm around her, but he doesn’t.

Dex already knows where her work building is—he followed her yesterday up until a certain point. He’s passed his office already. He doesn’t care. As long as he knows she makes it to work safely—he doesn’t care.

The rest of the walk, they make small talk. Dex doesn’t mind it at all. In fact, the entire time walking, he’s thinking of ways to ask her out on a date. Do I run into her at the coffee shop again? Do I ask her right now?

Finally, she stops in front of her building. She takes a sip of her hazelnut coffee that Dex bought for her and smiles at him. Dex catches her smile and looks away, almost shy.

“Thank you again for returning the favor, even though you didn’t have to,” she held up her cup in a cheersed way. Dex shrugs, and shakes his head.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says softly. “Was it a good cup?”

“Yes,” she nods. “Hit the spot.”

If it wasn’t good, Dex thinks he might’ve taken it out of her hands and thrown it against the building. Nothing should ever disappoint her, or not live up to her standards. He’s relieved she enjoyed it.

“Could I—ask you out for dinner, sometime?” Dex stutters slightly, as he feels his heart pound against his chest. From the way she smiles at his question, it puts him at ease.

“You could… but are you going to?” She teases, squinting her eyes a little at the handsome blonde FBI agent before her. Dex laughs and looks down sheepishly, before meeting her eyes again.

“Would you like to have dinner with me this Friday night?” Dex officially asks her, smoothing any nervousness in his voice. Confidence.

“Yes,” she nods. “I would love to.” Dex can’t help the blush that creeps on his cheeks. She’s holding her coffee as she searches through her bag for her phone. She almost drops the cup before Dex—with lightning reflexes—catches it before gravity can win.

“Oh my goodness,” she gasps. “I would’ve been so sad if I dropped it! Thank you—again," she breathes. Dex smiles and holds the cup for her as she looks for her phone.

“It’s no problem,” he says.

She asks for his phone number and sends him a text so he’ll have her number saved. Dex is impressed by the way she takes the initiative to his contact information. She must really be interested—though definitely not as interested as he is. He feels his phone buzz in his jacket, confirming he received her text.

“Well, have a good day, Dex,” she says in a sing-song way, a way Dex will never forget. “I’ll see you on Friday.”

***

She wasn’t one to go to someone’s house after a first date, but Dex might be testing that theory for her.

She’s watching him carefully over the leather-bound menu. Stealing glances and looks every so often as she pretends to look over the list of red wines. Squinting her eyes, studying his face. He’s completely focused on the menu—he almost looks confused as he reads it. It’s a confusing menu because the place Dex chose has four Michelin Stars. She doesn’t mind though. It buys her time to keep looking at him.

His skin looks soft…but it’s the way his jaw cuts that brings a sort of harshness to his look. No less handsome, however. She’s not sure if it’s because she knows he’s an FBI agent, but his presence is commanding, whether he realizes it or not. Commanding and sweet at the same time. Even the way his hands look strong and have surely held a gun against someone (because isn’t that what FBI agents do?) are now holding the menu so softly… it’s mesmerizing to see such hands that are capable of doing rugged things hold a leather-bound menu so gently. It only makes her wonder what else he could handle with gentleness—or roughness. Whatever she wants.

“What are you thinking of getting?” Dex asks her, his silky voice bringing her out of her train of thought. She inhales sharply and quickly scans the menu again.

“I think a glass of cabernet,” she replies, “and the burrata to start?”

“I was thinking the same,” he grins, warm brown eyes looking into hers. She glances away quickly—the way she feels when he looks at her is unsettling by how much she likes it. “You look really beautiful, by the way.”

And of course… he had to make it worse. There was no use in fighting the blush on her cheeks. She smiled.

“Thank you.”

The waiter took their orders, and Dex watched her carefully as she spoke. She was pleasant. She smiles at the waiter—but not the same kind of smile she gives to him. Dex leans back in the velvet chair and sighs in content. He never thought he would get this far with her.

When it was finally the two of them, Dex cleared his throat.

“So, you do client relations at a therapist’s office? What does that exactly mean?”

“I greet them, I bring them into the room before the doctor gets there. I ask them questions and fill out their intake form. I’m basically a glorified receptionist except sometimes I get to ‘play’ therapist,” she explains rather sheepishly. Dex thinks anyone would be lucky enough to be greeted by her. If he were a patient, he’d ask to never see the doctor.

“Do you want to become one?” He asks with curiosity.

“I think one day,” she answers. “I like talking to people. Never mind doing it to help—sometimes just a person to talk to is all someone needs.”

Ain’t that the truth, Dex thinks to himself. “I agree. I used to see a therapist myself.”

“Really? There’s no shame in it at all.”

“I know… well. We’ll save that conversation for another time.”

“Have you always been in the FBI? I’m not even sure I know what the requirements or credentials are,” she asks.

Dex laughs, “It’s a lot of background checks and training before you start. And no, I haven’t always been in the FBI. I was in the army before.”

She raises her eyebrows. “Oh, wow. Thank you for your service. Now I definitely think you’ve seen some shit. And I can see why you’d go to therapy. Why did you stop? You said you used to see one.”

Dex sighs uncomfortably. She picks up on it immediately.

“Never mind. You said another time. Have you always wanted to be in the FBI?”

Dex smiles a little, appreciative of the way she stopped the conversation about his therapist.

“I used to want to be a professional baseball pitcher,” he admits.

“I love that. Do you still play?”

“Not really,” he says softly. “Other interests came to mind. Life.”

“I know what you mean. Life.”

A comfortable silence falls between them—they catch each other gazing into the other’s eyes and laughing at the same time. Dex can’t remember the last time he felt so enamored with someone, so comfortable and so attracted. He’s grateful for running out of coffee that morning. He’s grateful the barista got his order wrong. Most of all, he’s grateful for the young woman who sits across from him at this restaurant. And he’s grateful for the way she’s smiling at him.

***

It didn’t take much convincing for her to agree to go to his place after dinner. While she promised herself she wouldn’t let it get too far, she was curious to see where the night would go. Dex held her hand the entire walk back to his apartment. She cuddled against his arm, an attempt to feel more warm. Dex pulled her in closer.

He lived in a humble building just outside of Hell’s Kitchen. His apartment was even more humble: small, but very nice. White walls. White marble countertop without a spec on it. Everything was in its place from the spices to the napkins. Everything was labeled. His couch was placed perfectly in the middle of the room. Picture frames were all aligned on the walls. He dimmed the lights a little.

From where she stood, she could see his bedroom door slightly ajar. She caught a glimpse of his bed with white sheets—his bed was perfectly made. From how organized and clean he seemed to be, she thought he would freak out to see her mismatched decorations and colorful bedsheets.

“This is such a nice place,” she said aloud.

“Thank you. I don’t ever have guests, so I’m sorry if it’s a little boring.”

“Not at all,” she moved to sit in the corner of his gray couch. She placed her bag on the floor, and Dex picked it up to move on the coffee table.

“It’s better to keep it clean off the floor,” Dex murmured as he sat down next to her with two glasses of red wine. He gave her a soft smile as he handed her a glass, which she gladly accepted. They clinked glasses and took a sip, all while holding each other’s gaze.

“Can I tell you something?” Dex asks suddenly.

“Of course.”

“I haven’t done this in a while,” Dex gestures to the two of them. “It takes a lot in me to do this. I—I really wanted to ask you out. And I’m happy you’re here. I just—“ he feels himself breathing fast. It’s an awful habit he has, getting overwhelmed by every little thought in his head. Bring a beautiful girl into the mix—it was a terrible concoction for his mind to handle. His mind won’t allow him to enjoy this pleasure because it’s already thinking of ways it could go wrong. Like she’ll never want to see him again.

“Hey,” she whispered, placing a hand on his knee to calm him down. “It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” he breathes out in embarrassment, covering half his face with his hand.

“Don’t need to be sorry,” she said softly.

“I just don’t want this to be the last I see of you,” he admits. “I had such a good time at dinner and here you are now—“

“Dex,” she began, “I had an amazing time at dinner with you. Truthfully, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have agreed to come to your place. I’m happy I’m here. If it’s all the same to you, I definitely don’t want this to be the last I see you.”

“Absolutely,” Dex agrees immediately, turning to face her more. “I’m so happy you’re here too. I’m happy you gave me your coffee that morning and it’s led to this.”

She smiles. “Me too.”

Her hand is still on his knee. Dex is reminded of it when he feels that area of his leg getting warmer from her touch. He glances down at her hand on him and memorizes the image. He doesn’t want to imagine too much, imagine her hand slowly trailing up his thigh…

To stop his thoughts, he places his hand on top of hers and trails his fingers up the length of her arm, until he reaches her neck and brushes his fingers through her hair. He brings her closer to him, some force guiding him with confidence. Her eyes are half closed as he slowly brings her in for a kiss. A kiss.

He first brushes his lips against hers, almost as a way to ask if this was okay—if the way he was guiding her to him was okay. She doesn’t protest. Dex kisses her softly at first, memorizing the way her lips feel on his. And then he kisses her with a newfound force. She opens her mouth for him to enter his tongue and Dex breathes her in. He places his arms around her waist and lifts her up and into his lap so she’s straddling him on his couch. She has her hands on either side of his face as she kisses him just as passionately, holding him in place. He runs his hands up and down her back, pulling and pushing her to and fro himself.

He pulls back, breathless, and looks up at her.

“You’re perfect,” he whispers, running his hands in disbelief through her hair. “Everything about you is perfect.”

She kisses him again and again. Dex’s heart is pounding like it never has in his chest, so much it hurts, so much he thinks his life depends on kissing her. After a while, he pulls back again.

“Let me take you home,” Dex whispers in her ear. “I don’t want to get too far, and we’re treading that line.”

She can’t help but laugh, even though she agrees. “Okay. Walk me home.”

Dex holds her hand the entire walk home. When she says they’ve arrived at her apartment building, she kisses Dex one last time and makes him promise he’ll text her as soon as he gets home.

“You don’t need to worry about me,” Dex smirks, enamored by the look in her eyes.

“I do,” she argues, “I do now.”

“Goodnight,” Dex whispers.

He watches as she walks into her building and enters the elevator. Dex moves across the street and waits to see which apartment light turns on. When he sees one turn on, he immediately falls into a dark alley and pulls out a mini telescope.

He found her. And he watches her. Through a small slip of her curtain. He watches as she moves around her kitchen and living room. She changes into a silk robe in her bedroom.

He stays there for another two hours until she’s turned off the lights and headed to bed.

“Goodnight,” Dex whispers to her from afar.

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mofongomuncher · 3 months ago

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Daredevil

Fics that are connected are marked with an icon

Matt Murdock

Can’t Make That Promise - Once Matt finally makes it home, you spot yet another injury.

Somewhere in the Devil - You are left shaken when Matt, the man you love, turns out to be the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.

Can’t Tell Me What to Do, Murdock - 💙 When a simple plan goes sideways, Matt faces an unexpected tragedy.

Hold Me, Murdock - 💙 After the events of “Can’t Tell Me What to Do”, you are having a hard time coping and Matt tries to help.

Convince Me, Murdock - 💙 Determined to get your life back on track after “Can’t Tell Me What to Do, Murdock” and “Hold Me, Murdock”, you try to put all the pieces back into place how they were, but Matt has a different suggestion.

Nodded at a Blind Man - When you get some early afternoon customers, Foggy, Matt, and Karen, you can’t help but take extra notice of Matt.

Who the F@&$ Throws Rocks? - 🔪 As you and Daredevil argue about how to handle the latest criminal in your path, Agent Poindexter shows up.

What’s Cookin’ - As you’re cooking breakfast, you happen to wake up Matt.

The Devil to Bring You Peace - Waking up from a reoccurring nightmare, Matt is there for you.

Saved by Your Competition - Matt tells you about his close call in a burning building and how he was saved by a mysterious stranger.

We Can do That - You are successfully meditating and clearing your mind when Matt busts into the apartment in a panic.

What Did You Do? (AKA: More Rocks? Shit!) - 🔪 After being denied taking out the human trafficker in “Who the F@&$ Throws Rocks?” and “Who Else Throws Rocks?”, you finally get to take your shot, much to Matt’s horror. But it may have been a mistake.

Going to Try - To save you, Matt pushed you away when things got dangerous. You both have tried to pick up the pieces since, but it still feels broken.

Life’s Like That - When you are at risk for losing everything you worked for, you turn to your old friend, Matt Murdock, for help.

Using Your Senses - After Matt agreed to help you brush up on your self-defense stills, you weren’t expecting the evening to take such a…heated turn.

Benjamin Poindexter/Dex/Bullseye

I’ve Got You - 💥When you find yourself surrounded and in a dangerous situation, a rescuer comes out of seemingly nowhere.

Glad You Were There - 💥 The follow-up to “I’ve Got You”. You are on a date with your hero but are still trying to put some of the pieces together.

Just Angles - You decide to play pool with Dex, whom you’ve been dating for a bit, and he completely cleans house.

Left in Darkness - 🔼Dating an FBI agent is a terrible idea when you’re a criminal. When your worlds collide, Dex has to make a difficult decision.

You Were Out - 🔼 You have trouble coping after Dex saved you from being arrested by the FBI. It turns out, he has some questions as well.

Did You, Dex - After getting the news your boss was killed on the weekend, you start to suspect Dex knows something about it.

There with You -👁 Dex spends a lovely evening with you enjoying a beautiful Christmas festival. But things aren’t always as they seem.

A Plan Going Well - 👁(Follow up to There With You) You accidentally run into a stunning stranger - literally. Only, it wasn’t an accident.

A Problem Following - During a training exercise, you are paired up with Dex, who is proving to have an issue following your orders to the detriment of the mission.

Merry Christmas, Indeed - A cozy Christmas spent with your favourite Agent.

Saved Her Life - Dex was on his way to grab you for lunch from the women’s shelter you work at, but all hell breaks loose and things go from bad to worse.

Let Me Fix This - 💔During one of his episodes, Dex accidentally hurts you. (Warning - violence/reader injury)

I Need to Fix This - 💔 (Follow-up to “Let Me Fix This”) Dex convinces you to meet him for coffee so he can try to repair the damage he caused.

Make it up to You - Dex, the coworker you are secretly dating, calls you into a conference room for a bit of *ahem* fun…

Who Else Throws Rocks? - 🔪(Follow-up to “Who the F@&$ Throws Rocks?”) After the human trafficker you took down with the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen is freed, you go over him only to be stopped by Daredevil.

How You Were Going to Die - Waking up handcuffed to a chair in an unfamiliar room, things only get worse when Benjamin Poindexter walks in.

Happy Valentine’s - As you’re cooking, singing, and dancing to your heart’s content, Dex startles you by coming home early.

I Swear to You - When Dex is forced to choose between you and Fisk, your life is thrown into chaos.

You Idiots - Agent Poindexter just happens to be taking a meeting with Detective Sergeant Brett Mahoney when a hectic day at the precinct turns scary.

Ray Nadeem

That Kind of Talk - During your year-end party, Ray catches a few shared looks between you and a coworker.

We’re Going to be Late - After rushing to get ready so you aren’t late for your New Year’s Eve plans, Ray doesn’t seem to be in a hurry.

Didn’t Notice the Cold - Waiting for Ray in the cold suddenly doesn’t seem so bad once he finally arrives.

Being Proper - While on the road with Ray, who is doing you a favour by coming with you, the last free room in town has only one bed. (gasp)

Also, check out my Headcanon’s page for more with Dex and Ray!

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mofongomuncher · 3 months ago

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Session In Progress

Benjamin Poindexter x female!reader

Words: 477

A/N: got this idea from a prompt: “The things I feel for her, is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before in my life.” I forgot where I got it from tho

Dex was going to therapy again. He hadn’t had any major breakdown or anything of the sort, but you noticed he had been having some trouble recently.

While he initially didn’t really spring for the whole idea; sharing deep feelings that he worked so hard to desperately hide was never fun for Dex. But you, while not pushing him, suggested it might be beneficial for him and that was all it took for him to decide to try it. And unlike his past therapists the one he wanted to try was online. Just so he was in the comfortability of his own home.

While he’d only had a few sessions so far, it did seem to be doing him good.

Normally, when he had his sessions you’d go out, or take a walk. The walls inside the apartment were so thin and you really just wanted to give Dex the privacy that he needed to fully express himself. But this time you had a packed schedule and some errands to take care of inside and while you still offered to go out, Dex insisted you stayed and finished your work. So you did.

And while you hadn’t meant to eavesdrop you did happen to overhear a bit of his conversation when you passed by.

“The things I feel for her, is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before in my life. I love her so much and I’m afraid that I’ll do something to push her away.”

You sucked in some air, forcing yourself to step away from the door that you were so tempted to stand by.

His words that were obviously about you filled you up with an overwhelming and endearing affection for the man as you were moved by his vulnerability and worry about you. It was sad that he would think that but you knew he dealt with his own personal battles that you could never truly understand.

Minding your business you continued with your errands. When his session was over the door opened and out stepped Dex sharing a flat smile as you made eye contact.

“How was it today?” You asked, moving towards where he stood.

He sucked in some air and let it escape through his nose before nodding, “it was good.”

A soft smile pried on the corners of your lips as you reached out and tugged his arms around your waist, pulling him against you. “Good.”

You grinned peering up at him with your arms now resting on his upper arms. You pucker your lips and Dex happily met you for a moment, “I’m proud of you.” You grinned wide before pushing your lips together again and he again met you for another quick kiss. “And I love you.”

He smiles not knowing where this all was coming from but not being upset at it. “I love you more.”

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mofongomuncher · 3 months ago

Text

Dinner Date Trouble

Benjamin Poindexter x reader

Words: 738

A/N: This story is really lame but I wrote it awhile ago and just wanted to post it cuz I wanted to post something with Dex since March 4th is almost hereeeee

Benjamin Poindexter knew he was a lucky man to have found you.

He knew he wasn’t the only one who thought this way. There were probably a number of people who looked at you two and thought you could do better, he just knew it. But still you always managed to assure him of your love for him. But Dex knew who he was. He was a harsh, critical, and harmful man. The list was endless for him. But still you always assured him he was a good man. Now though he had another quality to add to that list. Jealousy.

Dex didn’t blame you for how others acted but he sure as hell was irritated when someone was being just plain obvious.

Take this one guy that was seated close by at the restaurant’s bar stool.

He’d already been sneaking glances your way since you’ve arrived and Dex has heard him make not one, not two, but three remarks about you to his friend nearby.

Dex knew he had to control himself but with each lingering glance he’d grip his knife tighter and tighter.

Dex held himself back, but he couldn’t stop his own eyes from staring daggers at the man.

He had been so focused on his anger that he hadn’t realized the red that started to slowly drip from his hand onto the white table cloth.

It was your voice that broke him out of his trance.

“Dex?” Your voice was firm but concerned while your hand reached for a nearby napkin.

Dex, who didn’t even realize what he was doing, loosened his grip as he blinked out of his trance and dropped the utensil that had his blood still on it.

“I…I’m fine.”

Your eyebrows pulled down while you frowned. Taking his hand, you turned it over before pressing the napkin to the cut he managed to get.

He glanced over at the guy who was shaking his head and now chuckling to himself.

Feeling embarrassed by his actions he pushed his chair out, “I’m going to the bathroom.”

And with that he left.

You sat back in your chair, letting out a knowing sigh. He’s done this before. You know he was trying to do better for you. But it was hard for him.

You didn’t know what he was doing in the bathroom, tending his wound? probably. Giving himself a pep talk? Somewhat likely. All you knew was that he was strong, he could get through it. Glancing around the room as time progressed looked at the decor of the restaurant before your eyes land on another pair to the side of you.

Thinking it to be coincidental you break contact before giving one more glance back and finding the man directly staring at you. His eyes were focused as if determined. Honestly it felt weird and creepy.

No longer feeling comfortable, you made the executive decision, grabbed Dex’s jacket and waited by the men’s bathroom entrance which was luckily hidden behind a wall out of anyone’s lurking eyes.

You stood leaning across from the door for a little bit, his jacket folded between your crossed arms, until eventually it opened.

“Hey,” you muttered, catching Dex a little off guard.

His eyes fell to his jacket which you held out for him, “let’s get out of here.”

Dex pressed his lips together, “but you’ve been wanting to come here.”

“Eh this place is starting to give me the creeps.”

He frowned, giving you a look, “was it the guy in blue?”

You hesitated, answering his question without answering his question.

Getting his answer he turned on his heel. Knowing exactly where he was headed you quickly reached out to grab his hand causing him to pause with his back turned to you, “Dex no please, let’s just go. There’s this ice cream place down the street I wanted to check out.”

He gritted his teeth, his nose practical flaring. But feeling your hand squeeze his tighter he relaxes and lets out a single breath, his shoulders dropping as he does so.

“Let’s go.”

Your cheeks pull upwards and Dex’s already feeling better about the rest of this night.

Pulling you into his arm he leads the way towards the exit, but not before making sure he caught one last look at the man.

Dex may not do something about him at the moment but you can bet he won’t forget that face.

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mofongomuncher · 3 months ago

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Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter — Skeletons

Pairing : Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 2.4k Warning : Language. Domestic violence. This might be triggering so please proceed with caution. If you feel uncomfortable in any part of this fic, please just skip it entirely. Synopsis : Dex's paranoia lead him to lose his temper after she's been out of touch the whole day. Notes : I feel the need to remind that this is purely a piece of fiction. If you, or anyone else you know, is experiencing similar or any kind of abuse, please talk to someone about it. You matter. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕

To say Dex was worried would be such a poor judement. He’s made one too many mistakes at work, perhaps provoked the beast that is Wilson Fisk a little too constantly, to ignite that silent wrath the powerful man often unleashes upon those who’d wronged him. A little spark in his heart hoped that he was just being paranoid, that he’s seen far too much violence in his job that it clouded his mind, but as the clock strikes midnight and her absence was still loud in their shared apartment, Dex knew that such possibility might have already become the bitter tragic reality.

His lips were starting to bleed from how much he chewed on them, fingers busy punching her name and redialling her number every time his calls went to voicemail. Any minute now, he was sure his heart would give in from the stress. Beads of sweat have started to drip from the back of his neck. Dex was worried and scared, but above all, he was angry.

He was angry at everyone at work for always throwing him under the bus. For giving him the most impractical tasks without any means of support and stomping on him whenever things went south. He was angry at Fisk for making him do his bidding. He was angry at her for giving him the silent treatment. Ultimately, he was angry at himself for letting things go so out of control.

Dex considered grabbing his jacket and just combed through the city to find her, but that little hope in his heart plants his feet to the ground, wishful that she would come through the front door any minute now. That, or he simply couldn’t bear the chance of facing the consequences of his mistakes.

His bubble of thought bursts as the sound of keys jingle from the other side of the apartment. He sprinted to the living room, waited with wide eyes as she opened the door, silently watching her from the corner of the room like a predator waiting for its prey to fall into their trap. He was too quiet for her to notice his presence as she hung her coat and scarf, kicking her shoes carelessly in the hallway.

“Where have you been?” he demanded, his voice firm and cold.

“God, I thought you’re asleep, already,” she exclaims, clutching on her heart from the surprise “I had to stay for work. The system in my office was down the whole day, I could only start my tasks after 4pm, and I needed to finish them today.”

“And you couldn’t have called or texted?” he pressed, the veins on his forehead were becoming more visible “I’ve been worried sick, wondering where in the fucking hell you could be the whole time, do you know that?!”

She lets out a tired sigh, walking past him, “My phone died, and I didn’t bring a charger. Everyone else was already off at 5.”

“You said the system crashed, how are you the only one staying overtime for work?”

“Because, Dex, not everyone has the same deadline,” she seethes, clearly on the verge of her patience with all his pestering “Look, I’m sorry I made you worry, okay? I didn’t mean to. Now, can you please stop with the yelling and let me be? I’m exhausted, and I’m desperate for a bath.”

“No, we’re not done talking,” Dex persists as he follows her to their bedroom “You could’ve tried something, anything! Send me an email, for all I care! You don’t just go radio silent the whole day and not expect me to get angry about it!”

“Well, I’ve told you, I’m sorry, alright! I didn’t mean to get you worried and angry, I’m sorry!” she spat back, matching the rise of his voice now “And can you just shut up for a second, my head is already pounding as it is.”

“You don’t get to tell me to shut up, I have the right to be angry at you right now!”

“Fuck’s sake, Dex, what do you want from me?!” she yelled, facing him this time “I’ve told you, I’m sorry. What else do you want me to say?!”

Dex went quiet, watching her with his chest heaving. His temper was rising. The alarm in his ears was loud and he was seeing red. Turmoil was boiling in his veins and the voices in his head were begging him to grab the recordings and calm himself down, but as if he was paralysed, Dex couldn’t find it in him to move a muscle and could only let the other side of him, the worst and most shameful side of him, slowly taking the light.

“Just let this go, Dex, please,” she continues, running a hand through her hair as she walks to the bathroom “This is such bullshit.”

And that’s when it tipped him. The last words she muttered that weren't even supposed to reach his ears had become the final nail to his coffin. He grabbed her by the shoulders, twisting her so violently to the wall, hard enough to knock the pictures to the floor.

“I thought you were dead!” Dex yelled angrily, screaming to her face “I thought Fisk has gotten into you!”

She watches him with terror filled eyes. The sound of the frames breaking still rings, like gunshots to her ears, but even those didn’t match the loudness of Dex’s voice. He was angry, it was plain to see, and she knew that she’s jabbed on the monster he’s tried so hard to keep her away from. The man standing in front of her now was not her lover. No, he was entirely someone else. Someone that shouldn’t have been brought to life, in the first place.

The silence stretched forever. The only sound heard now was his loud panting and the small hissing of her lips as the tiny cracks of glass stab her bare feet. She was afraid, in pain, and above all, confused as to how their argument escalated this way.

“Dex,” she called with a voice barely above a whisper “Come back to me.”

And as if he’s been slapped across the face, the man slowly regained his composure. He blinks, taking a step back and retrieving his grip that would surely leave some bruise on her shoulders. His breathing hitch as he looks at the mess he’s made. There was a small pool of blood on the floor from her wounded feet, his own knuckles sore and bleeding from the impact to the wall, and when he looked up to see her face, that one lovely face that he worshiped so much of, now filled with horror and uncertainty, Dex knew that he’s came to a point of no return.

“I-I— I just— I’m sorry,” he breathed, swiftly taking her off of her feet and carrying her to the bed “I don’t know what came into me, I’m so sorry.”

She watches in silence as Dex hurriedly tends to her wounds. His body is still emitting rage, movement almost robotic as he kneels to clean the shards of glass. The muscles on his shoulders were still tense. One wrong movement and she fears she might unleash the beast once again.

She knew that Dex wrestled with his demons more nights than not. That the recordings with Dr. Mercer, though he still listens to every now and then, has had no effect to tame the fury in his head. The only thing he said to have brought him any sense of peace these days was her, but given the event that just happened, how there’s new dents the size of his knuckles and her head on the wall now, she wasn’t sure if she would still have such charm upon him.

“I’m sorry,” Dex says, this time with a firmer tone as if he was demanding her forgiveness “You have to forgive me.”

Still in silence, she waited for his next words.

“You— I mean, I wouldn’t have lashed out like this if you would just tell me where you were,” Dex reasoned, standing up and pacing a little further from her. He wipes his face with his palm, resting his hand on his jaw as he tries to recollect himself but such effort proved to be futile “You could’ve called me with your office phone. It wouldn’t even take ten seconds just to tell me you’ll be home late. Why didn’t you?!”

“Dex—,”

“I just— I thought you were hurt! I thought my job has finally bitten me back on the ass and got to you,” he pulls on his hair, still yelling in despair “I fucking love you, alright! You’re very special to me, don’t you see? I can’t lose you.”

Her gaze softened. The real Dex was coming back through the cracks of his voice.

“I just can’t lose you,” he finally cries.

Only mere moments ago, she was so afraid of the beast Dex has become, but now, standing a few feet away from her, choking in his own tears with both their wounds still bleeding, she couldn’t help but to feel sorry for him.

She opens her arms and Dex needs no words to run into it. He immediately succumbs to her embrace, burying his tear streaked face to the crook of her neck. She knew that the fear of her leaving came from a different sentiment than what a typical love would be. The fright plaguing his mind harboured from the slim chance of him finding anyone else that he could pin as his north star if she were to leave. No one understands his condition, no one bothers to listen and sit with him about it. Losing her would only make him drown in uncertainty once again.

“I love you, I’m sorry,” he repeats “Don’t leave me.”

“You’re right, I should’ve called, I’m sorry,” she whispers back, brushing the strands of his blond hair “I’m sorry, Dex.”

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” he begs, pulling his face away so she could see the determination in his eyes “I’ll do whatever you want, just say it and it’ll be done. I’d kill for you, you know that, don’t you? Just never leave me, please.”

“Hey, listen to me, you don’t have to do anything, okay? I’m not going anywhere,” she soothes, wiping the tears off of his cheeks “Let’s not talk about it anymore, yeah? Let’s just call it a night and sleep, hm? What do you think?”

“But you said you wanted to take a bath.”

“I’m too tired for it,” she lies through her teeth “Could you get me fresh clothes, instead? I know how you hate outside clothes to touch our bed.”

Nodding like a child, Dex reaches into their closet and pulls out her pyjamas. He watches as she changes out of her dirty clothes, eyes locked on her as if he’s scared she’s bolt out of the door. Even with her gentle voice and that sweet smile plastered on her face, Dex was still on high alert.

“Come to bed, Dex,” she calls once she’s done changing “You must be tired, too.”

There was hesitation in his movement, but Dex climbed up the bed eventually. They were facing each other now, laying on their side but not particularly touching each other. This was the first fight they’ve ever had that actually brought his skeletons out and neither of them knew if the storm had truly passed. None of them dared to ask the question either as it felt like the topic was still too tender to touch.

So they only stared at each other. She studies the wrinkles on his face that slowly disappears. The way the muscles around his jaws were starting to relax, and how his breathing has come to a steady. The bloodshot anger in his eyes have dissipated too, replaced with daze and emptiness. It was as if his brain was trying its best to hit reset.

Slowly, her fingers find their way to caress his face. Dex fell into her touch in an instant. Sighing as if he’s awaited the gesture for so long. He closes his eyes, this time really trying to reach into that sense of solace that he usually was able to obtain much easier than now.

“Is this helping?” she asks softly.

“Yes,” he answers without opening his eyes “Plenty.”

“Okay,” she nods in acknowledgement “Go to sleep, baby.”

“No,” Dex shot his eyes open, fear once again filling them “You’re going to leave me.”

“I would never,” she reassures, inching closer to him “We’re in this together, aren’t we? Forever? You and me?”

He nods hesitantly.

“Then close your eyes and sleep, Dex,” she coaxes “I won’t go anywhere.”

Dex wanted to argue. He wanted to place his arms around her and pin her in place, trapping her just in case she decided to leave when he’s finally drifted to slumber, but he’s crossed too many lines tonight. He’s broken too many walls, burned too many bridges, to risk doing anything but what she asked for, so he forces himself to close those eyes and fall back into her touch. He tries to let her soothing gesture fill his senses, giving her the full control of his body.

“There we go, baby, just close those eyes,” she continues to coo, placing a chaste kiss to the tip of his nose “Rest those muscles, Dex, I know you’re tired.”

“I love you,” he whispers, begging “I just love you.”

“I know, baby, I know.”

Tears were starting to leak out of his eyes. Dex was frightened beyond words, but he promised to close his eyes, and so he did. He hates her for making him feel this way. For making him feel this helpless, full of anger yet has no power to release it, but he couldn’t find any better replacement. He couldn’t find anyone else that would keep him in line. Noone and nothing else that would guide him through the darkness of his wild ire.

Gently, she places his hand around her waist. The gesture made him let out a shaky breath, understanding that she’s giving him a chance to prove his words, “You won’t hurt me, will you?”

Dex shakes his head, “No, I promise.”

“Okay, I believe you,” she replies, her hands now brushing through his hair “Get some rest, baby.”

“Will you be here when I wake up?”

“I think you’ll wake up first than I do, actually.”

Dex lets out a nervous chuckle, easing himself down to her banter.

“I love you, Dex. You know that, don’t you?”

He nods, not saying a word.

With one last kiss to his lips, she closes her eyes. The road to land of Nod would be long and difficult tonight, but perhaps this too shall pass.

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