monsterbeheld

[monsterbeheld]

psssst. four years may have passed but like. i am alive. >:)

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I’M SURE I LOVE YOU..............

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Afraid for Jon hours

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“No.” Jon's response is blunt. His gaze is intense, and there’s a desperate kind of fervour to his expression. He must look awful... at the very least, he knows he feels it. The painkillers he’d taken are starting to wear off, and there are scars from where the worms had burrowed into him all over his body. They’ll probably never go away.

“No, I need to do this now. While it’s still fresh on everyone’s minds, while it’s still-” he cuts himself off, making a frustrated noise. “I’m fine. So... just tell me what happened.”

@monsterbeheld​ / jon.

“Just– explain to me how you hope to interview anybody in the state you’re in. Jon.” He was tired; his archives were damaged, which he’d been expecting, but he’d also been expecting to go home afterwards and enjoy a hot cup of tea and a good night’s sleep. Instead, he was sitting in a small cleared circle of floor, while people in hazmat suits swept up worm carcasses in the next room, staring at his Archivist ( what a thrill! his Archivist, coming along at last ) and the recorder in his hand in bafflement. “We can do this in the morning.”

[monsterbeheld]

jonmartin GOOD

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SO ANYWAY THIS EP WAS. SO GOOD...

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"Martin?"

He almost can't believe it.

It's not like he didn't think that they would make it out. No... he knew. He knew that as long as Martin was by his side, then they would find a way. The Lonely held no power over them, not anymore.

But... to actually be here, free of that awful fog... it's still an overwhelming feeling.

( and Martin is with him. )

Finally. It’s been far... far too long.

“It’s okay. We’re free, now.”

@praemetuere ( starter! )

[monsterbeheld]

had kind of a headache today so i wasn’t around much, but i’ll be working on stuff tomorrow!

[monsterbeheld]

and to start this blog off, here’s a starter call! like this post if you’d like a starter from jon. 

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he wanted her to recognise him...

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MARTIN IS SO. GOOD...

[monsterbeheld]

“Y-you’re- Michael!”

Jon’s sudden exclamation is loud, and laced with something like fear as he finally catches sight of the man- ( no. not a man. ) 

...The thing that all of a sudden is standing there in front of him.

He's on his feet in an instant; a flurry of frenzied motion as he pulls away from the creature, preparing for the worst.  The wound from where he was stabbed almost seems to throb painfully as glares at the being that calls itself Michael.

“What... what are you doing here?” he demands, trying and failing to stay collected.

@dubovoye ( starter! )

[monsterbeheld]

rp sentence starters using lines from r.h. sin’s work , whiskey words and a shovel I  part one / part two / part three

“ you’re always coming back. ” “ you fear you’ve been replaced. ” “ it was your love that caused all this. ” “ it was you that made me this way. ” “ suddenly, being heartless was better than being heartbroken. ” “ we have found ourselves. ” “ i wish changing my heart was as easy as changing my mind. ” “ and they wonder why the good know so much pain. ” “ the snow makes the cemetery look alive. ” “ the heart takes too long to figure out what the mind already knows. ” “ i learned to live without you. ” “ just a funeral held in memory of the person i was. ” “ you deliberately destroyed me. ” “ what was there to love? ” “ i now know that i was in this alone. ” “ i find myself pretending to be fine. ” “ my smile is usually a mask. ” “ you’ll think i’m weak. ” “ it’s easier said than done. ” “ you’re always alone whenever real shit occurs. ” “ all of this is all of nothing. ” “ you’re full of pain, but filled with fight. ” “ the idea of getting married scares me. ” “ i have nothing more to offer than myself. ” “ i don’t really recognize the person i’ve become. ” “ a year can change a lot. ” “ you no longer deserve my thoughts. ” “ i am ashamed for having given in to your pleas. ” “ i want to dance with you. ” “ my spine has been weighed down by a life of despair and disappointment. ” “ how brave it is, to love completely. ” “ i’ll try for you, because you’re worth it. ” “ sometimes nightmares are people. ” “ being alone brings me closer to peace. ” “ you’ve become like a prison. ” “ i’m planning ways to escape you. ” “ i remember everything i don’t want to. ” “ i struggle to comprehend your inability to love me as much as i loved you. ” “ you’re relying on a broken mirror. ” “ i’ll rebuild without you. ” “ loving you meant that i didn’t love myself. ” “ tomorrow will be even harder. ” “ i’ve accepted my fate. ” “ you took what you wanted. ” “ i am trying to find myself under the rubble of my own heart. ” “ i’m tired of pretending it doesn’t hurt. ” “ i was wrong about you. ” “ the truth always rises to the surface. ” “ they’ve gotten what they wanted from you. ” “ heartache made me so fucking unforgiving. ” “ in you, lives a love that most people won’t be able to comprehend. ” “ they’re no longer good for you. ” “ you can’t find love in places filled with hate. ” “ who will understand my scars? ” “ i just want to stop thinking about you. ” “ i hope those lies burn your lips. ” “ i barely recognize myself anymore. ” “ my most dangerous habit is overthinking. ” “ this was never meant to work. ” “ i’d like to learn you. ” “ i’d like to love every part of you. ” “ you struggle to fit in places where you don’t belong. ” “ you’re only here because your friends wanted to go. ” “ love me when things are bad. ” “ love me through my imperfections. ” “ never apologize for burning too bright. ” “ i was willing to drown for them. ” “ shallow compliments have no meaning. ” “ i yelled because i actually cared. ” “ i only argued with you because i gave a fuck. ” “ i should have been a bit clearer about what i was asking for. ” “ no one wants to be alone. ” “ there is loneliness in being with the wrong person. ” “ and i continue to burn. ” “ it hurts like hell. ” “ i accept you as you are. ” “ you’re still beautiful to me. ” “ you were only meant to be temporary. ” “ slowly, death crept up behind me. ” “ holding onto you was killing me. ” “ i nearly lost my damn mind. ” “ i can love you, but only from a distance. ” “ some people are more lovable when they’re not around. ” “ you’re a sinner, i’m your accomplice. ” “ a moment of weakness doesn’t define your strength. ” “ i won’t miss you. ” “ one day you’ll understand. ”

[monsterbeheld]

TRAGIC AESTHETIC I SENTENCE STARTERS —  a bunch of quotes pulled from pinterest boards. feel free to make alterations.

i’m having a hard time describing how i feel.

did we really go through all this for nothing?

people do bad things when they are trying to survive.

i don’t know who i am anymore. i am no one if i’m not self-destructing.

no matter what i do, i can’t get better.

and now i have nothing.

when are you going to stop punishing yourself for things you cannot control?

i replay that moment every night in my head.

they’re dead because of you.

maybe i lied when i said i was okay.

i am tired of being brave.

loneliness really fucks you up.

this isn’t normal. this isn’t the way normal people live.

my mother is ashamed of me.

it’s been a long time since i’ve felt right.

he’s not coming back.

we’ll never be those kids again.

everything i love turns to shit.

i’m terrified that if i try my hardest, i still won’t be good enough.

what a terrible mess i’ve made of my life.

acting like you don’t care is not letting it go.

i wish i could have saved you. please forgive me.

ghosts? sure. i know all about ghosts. 

there will be no miracles here.

i wish i could let all this anger go.

why can’t things that are good just stay?

too many people leave without saying goodbye.

i don’t know who i want to be anymore.

what doesn’t kill you makes you wish you were dead.

the trouble is that you think you have time.

sometimes i still can feel his hands.

i’ve wasted so much time becoming nothing.

where is all the time that heals?

oh, the things we invent when we are scared and want to be rescued.

i am the monster you created.

[monsterbeheld]

and to start this blog off, here’s a starter call! like this post if you’d like a starter from jon. 

[monsterbeheld]

Hello! This is a new independent RP blog for Jonathan Sims of The Magnus Archives. If you’re interested in interacting, would you consider giving this post a like and/or reblog? Thank you so much! 

[monsterbeheld]

No thoughts head empty just season 3 jon and the admiral