moonglow-violets

[moonglow-violets]

I’m going through some shit right now. My tumblr activity is going to be sporadic at best. If you see me reblogging things but not responding on private messages or something, please don’t take it personally I’m just overall not in the right headspace.

Sorry in advance.

[moonglow-violets]

Xaden 100% sleeps with this plush, especially when he feels broody being separated from Violet.

(DontTellTheOthersOrYou'reDead)

[moonglow-violets]

I love how sweet and caring he is with reader.

Learning Comfort

Relationship(s): Xaden Riorson & adopted!sister!reader

Summary: Having a little sister wasn't as simple as Xaden had thought it would be, but he was determined to fulfill his role as your big brother the best he could, even when it meant drying your tears first thing in the morning.

Warnings: References to past child abuse/neglect, mention of panic attacks, reader has selective mutism.

Sequel to Can We Keep Her? but all you really need to know is that reader was adopted by the Riorsons after her mother abandoned her. Xaden is 10 in this, reader about five years younger.

When Xaden had thought about what having a little sister would be like, he hadn't imagined it would involve so much crying. Kneeling beside you on the plush carpet of your room, he almost wanted to burst into tears himself as he watched the tears endlessly stream down your cheeks. He hadn't even had breakfast yet, for gods' sake!

"No," he said as gently as he could manage when it felt like he was repeating himself for the hundredth time, "I'm not angry with you. I just want to know why you're crying."

Instead of telling him, you only kept on sobbing, louder than before.

Xaden bit back a groan of frustration. It was true he wasn't angry at you, but the helplessness of not knowing what was wrong was making him agitated. There were so many things that made you cry, it was impossible to guess which one it was this time.

"Please! I just want to know so I can make it better."

Still no answer.

Xaden was tempted to go get his aunt — Dad was on a work trip, and wouldn't be home for another two days — but decided against it. Leaving you alone, even for a minute, would only make you more upset. His aunt wouldn't know what was wrong any more than Xaden did, anyway, and was even less likely to get the answer out of you. You were comfortable enough around her and Dad, but you didn't trust them as unconditionally as you trusted Xaden, a fact that became more apparent the more upset you were. At times, Xaden was the only one who could get close to you without scaring you.

Trusting adults was hard for you. Xaden thought you understood on some level that not all of them were like your mother, but that didn't stop you from being afraid. You'd never been properly cared for, had never known how unacceptable your mother's behavior was. After a month in your new home, you knew that adults weren't supposed to treat their children the way she had treated you, but you were still learning to trust the unfamiliar peace, uncertain what to expect.

It broke Xaden's heart every time you freaked out and hid under a table or inside your wardrobe, muffling sobs against your bony knees you pulled up to your chest. The signs of malnutrition were still there, though you were slowly getting to a healthier weight. Xaden had never dreaded a sound like he did those terrified whimpers, the shrill sobs when you worked yourself into a panic over a threat that wasn't real. He desperately wanted to help and make you feel safe, wanted to be your protector like he had promised, but sometimes, he didn't know how he was supposed to do that when there was nothing to protect you from other than your own overwhelming emotions.

Meltdowns or panic attacks, Xaden's aunt called these outbursts. She and Dad talked a lot about you and how to help you adjust, using terms like posttraumatic stress, separation anxiety, overstimulation, and more. Xaden didn't understand all of it, but he knew what it came down to was that you were still scared and hurt from the way your mother had treated you. Maybe you always would be.

Xaden had noticed that most of the time when you had these meltdowns, it was because you'd felt cornerd in some way, but that couldn't be the case this time, since you'd been alone. He was just getting dressed when he heard your muffled sobs through the wall your rooms shared. One sock on his foot, the other still held in hand, he immediately came running to check on you, but was unable to find the cause for your tears.

It could have been anything — loud voices drifting in from the courtyard, one of the dragons stationed in Aretia roaring as it flew overhead, a nightmare you'd woken up from and couldn't get out of your thoughts. Heck, even just tripping over your feet as you got out of bed might have startled you into crying.

It wouldn't be the first time.

Just the week before, you'd burst into tears after you stumbled while carrying a glass of water to your place at the table. You hadn't even fallen, just spilled a little water. Dad had managed to calm you before you could truly panic, gently ushering you to sit with Xaden while he wiped up the water. Still, you'd looked like you were waiting for punishment all throughout dinner.

Xaden sighed. Maybe it didn't matter what it was that had upset you. You weren't hurt and nothing was broken, so it didn't seem to be anything that needed fixing. Maybe comforting you would be enough to make everything okay again. If only he knew what to say to stop your tears!

Moving very slowly so he wouldn't startle you, Xaden scooted closer until he sat side by side with you, and put his arm around you.

"Everything's okay," he said, trying to put all his confidence into the words so you would believe them. He was pretty sure he was telling the truth, but without knowing what had made you cry, there was no way to be certain.

Xaden ran his hand down the back of your head, hoping it might soothe you.

To his shock, you flinched away. Xaden instantly dropped his hand.

You could be particular about who was allowed to touch you when, but you had never once flinched from Xaden since he'd brought you home. Why now? Had he done something wrong?

"Whoa, hey, I'm not gonna hurt you."

Had he made any loud sounds that scared you, maybe let the door of his wardrobe slam shut after taking out clothes for the day? Xaden didn't think so, but there had to be a reason you flinched.

»I know,« you signed, still cowering with your shoulders protectively raised to your ears.

Xaden could tell you wanted to say more and couldn't. Speech tended to fail you when you got this upset, and a month of lessons in sign language hadn't yet taught you enough to express everything you had to say, despite how fast you were catching on.

"But you don't want to be touched right now?" Xaden guessed.

You reached for his hand and placed it on top of your head once more.

That wasn't it, then. Relieved that it apparently hadn't been anything to do with him, Xaden started to pet your hair the way he knew you liked. He closely watched your face. Though you continued to cry, you seemed content with the touch. But when he moved his hand toward the back of your head again, you tensed.

"You don't like being touched on the back of your neck? Is that it?"

You nodded, big wet eyes shining with relief.

Every time Xaden figured out something like this, you looked at him like he had personally hung the sun in the sky. Being understood that way was completely new to you; no one had ever made the effort to try before.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I won't do it again." And he would tell Bodhi and their parents, so they wouldn't accidentally touch the back of your neck, either. "Would you like a hug?"

You nodded, and folded yourself into his arms. Tears soaked into the shoulder of his shirt, warm and damp on his skin, but Xaden thought they were already flowing a little slower.

For a few minutes, the both of you sat in silence. Xaden gently rocked you, making the occasional soothing sound when your breath hitched with a sob, and slowly, you calmed down.

"She always grabbed me," you whispered eventually. It took Xaden a moment to understand you were explaining why you had flinched. "By the neck. And shaked me."

Xaden knew she referred to your mother. When you talked about her, that was all you ever called her, never mom or mother. Just she, and always in that fearful tone, like you expected her to come jumping out from around the corner to scold you for speaking ill of her.

He hugged you more tightly, resting his cheek on top of your head. "I'm sorry. I would never do that."

Though he hadn't known, he felt terrible for reminding you of that. He would make extra double sure never to bring his hands near the back of your neck from now on.

"I know."

You sat up straight, sniffling, and allowed Xaden to wipe the tears from your face.

"Can you tell me why you were crying now?" he asked.

At the shake of your head he got in response, Xaden couldn't help but frown.

"Why not?"

Your bottom lip quivered, fresh tears welling in your eyes. Clearly, that had been the wrong thing to say.

"Shh, no, it's okay. Please don't cry any more. I'm sorry. I just want to understand."

"I— I dunno."

"Okay. That's okay. But everything's okay again now, right?"

Xaden inwardly groaned at how stupid that sounded, but he didn't know what else to say. Dealing with people crying had never been something he was good at, and though he'd gotten plenty of practice over the past month, he still felt awkward when it came to soothing you.

You shrugged and nodded at the same time, which Xaden had learned to understand as your wordless way of saying I guess so.

"Okay. Good." Xaden smoothed down your hair, and rose, pulling you to your feet, too. "Come on, let's go eat something. You want to take Sleepy Bear?"

Sleepy Bear, a teddy named for the way his embroidered eyes appeared to be half shut, was lying on the floor nearby. He must have fallen out of bed when you'd gotten up.

Xaden picked the teddy bear up and handed him to you, earning himself a wobbly smile in thanks. Smiling back, he took your free hand in his own. Even if you were only going to the kitchen, Xaden knew you felt more secure holding onto him. He didn't mind.

"Do you know what you want for breakfast?" he asked as you stepped into the hallway.

Little face scrunching up in thought, you slowly shook your head.

That was another thing Xaden had learned: you greatly disliked making decisions. When asked what you wanted to eat, the answer was a shrug nine times out of ten, even once you knew enough sign language to answer. You could eliminate the options you definitely didn't want just fine, but then you got stuck, and usually turned to Xaden for help.

He was happy to make all the decisions for you that you couldn't — whether to put jam or honey on your bread, what kind of juice you drank, whether you wore the green shirt or the striped one. Xaden took great pride in his ability to always find something you were content with.

He had quickly learned which foods were your favorites, the ones you didn't mind eating even on the days nothing sounded appealing. It took longer to figure out the ones you didn't like at all, because you never said you disliked something unless explicitly asked.

Your mother had never given you any choice; with her, you'd had to eat whatever she set before you, even if it gave you allergies, just like you'd had to wear what clothes she picked, even if the fabric felt so unpleasant you scratched yourself bloody because of it. If you dared to show your discomfort, she had called you ungrateful, difficult, a burden. You'd had to bear it all without complaint to avoid making things worse for yourself, and never gotten the chance to learn how to communicate your needs and speak your mind.

Dad said that was why you struggled with even the simplest decisions, and that it would take lots of time and patience for you to learn all the things other kids intuitively knew. He also said it was important to keep offering you the chance to make your own choices, so you could learn to know what you wanted.

For that very reason, Xaden was supposed to let you try to decide things yourself before helping, but he hated watching you struggle, and after you already had a meltdown today, he thought it would be okay to make things easier to avoid another one.

"How about porridge?" he suggested. "That sound good?"

Another one of those shrug-nods. Though you would doubtlessly eat the porridge — it was a breakfast staple you always accepted, though Xaden had yet to figure out which flavor was your favorite — you didn't seem eager for it.

Savory things weren't something you liked for breakfast, so he mentally skipped those and said, "Or we can see if there's pancakes. Would you like that better?"

His own stomach rumbled at the thought, but you shook your head.

Xaden shrugged. "Alright. Porridge it is, then."

[moonglow-violets]

Guys, it got so much freaking worse. KOSA is bad, but SCREEN is even worse, somehow.

"Sen. Mike Lee has introduced the SCREEN ACT, a bill that applies the "harmful to minors" standard used to ban LGBTQ+ books and resources in schools and libraries and apply it nationally to the internet.

Any site that has any amount of material "harmful to minors" would be forced to employ surveillance tech (biometric scans, ID uploads, background checks) to prevent minors from accessing "pornography."

You will not be surprised to learn that this is backed by the Heritage Foundation.

Unlike some of the state age-verification laws, many of which are being challenged in court, SC will be enforced by the FTC, which has the ability to levy fines, raid business and freeze bank accounts. Yes, meaning that even non-for-profits like Ao3 will suffer.

This is something for all US users to keep on their radar. Call your reps, call your senators, and spread the word to protect our archive!"

- When talking with Republicans play up the fact that this would force Elon to implement age verification systems on X (yes do call it X during the call). Elon's been threatening to primary Republicans who stand in his way so there's fear of him. Also play up concerns about "Liberals" doxxing people or Chinese hackers.

- When talking with Democrats, play up the connections to Project 2025 and suggest voters will not be happy to see Democrats siding with it.

Republicans:

Ted Cruz, Texas (Chairman) - Phone: (202) 224-5922

John Thune, South Dakota - Phone: (202) 224-2321

Roger Wicker, Mississippi - Phone: (202) 224-6253

Deb Fischer, Nebraska - Phone: (202) 224-6551

Jerry Moran, Kansas - Phone: (202) 224-6521

Dan Sullivan, Alaska - Phone: (202) 224-3004

Marsha Blackburn, Tennessee - Phone: (202) 224-3344

Todd Young, Indiana - Phone: (202) 224-5623

Ted Budd, North Carolina - (202) 224-3154

Eric Schmitt, Missouri - (202) 224-5721

John Curtis, Utah - Phone: (202) 224-5251

Bernie Moreno, Ohio - Phone: 202-224-2315

Tim Sheehy, Montana - Phone: (202) 224-2644

Shelley Moore Capito, West Virginia - Phone: (202) 224-6472

Cynthia Lummis, Wyoming - Phone: (202) 224-3424

Democrats:

Maria Cantwell, Washington (Ranking Member) - Phone: (202) 224-3441

Amy Klobuchar, Minnesota - Phone: (202) 224-3244

Brian Schatz, Hawaii - Phone: (202) 224-3934

Ed Markey, Massachusetts - Phone: (202) 224-2742

Gary Peters, Michigan - Phone: (202) 224-6221

Tammy Baldwin, Wisconsin - Phone: (202) 224-5653

Tammy Duckworth, Illinois - Phone: (202) 224-2854

Jacky Rosen, Nevada - Phone: (202) 224-6244

Ben Ray Luján, New Mexico - Phone: (202) 224-6621

John Hickenlooper, Colorado - Phone: (202) 224-5941

John Fetterman, Pennsylvania - Phone: (202) 224-4254

Andy Kim, New Jersey - Phone: (202) 224-4744

Lisa Blunt Rochester, Delaware - Phone: (202) 224-2441

SCRIPT

Hi, my name is [], and I am one of Senator []’s constituents. I live in [city, zip code - leave your full address if leaving a voicemail].

I am calling in regards to a bill that was recently introduced in the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transport: the SCREEN act.

I am asking Senator [] to either take no action or vote against this bill because of its implications for freedom of speech. [insert one of the other concerns listed above]. Thank you for your time and for listening to my concerns.

[moonglow-violets]

While we should definitely keep speaking out against KOSA, be aware that another terrible bill has been introduced called the SCREEN Act.

If passed, it would require full age verification.

Like KOSA, please let your reps know how terrible of an idea this is.

Link: https://www.congress.gov/bill/119th-congress/senate-bill/737/text

[moonglow-violets]

I know things are hard right now for people in America, the UK, Australia, and Canada, but I don't want anyone to give up because that's exactly what they want you to do. They want you to feel powerless and unable to stand up to the establishment. They want you to feel alone and isolated. Do not let them win by giving in to defeatism. Do not surrender to the system.

There can be a day when YouTube drops its AI age verification policy and returns to its old self. There can be a day when MasterCard and Visa relent to their customers and tell Collective Shout to go fuck themselves. There can be a day when the Screen Act, the BEARD bill, and the HR 9495 bill go down in flames. There can be a day when KOSA is no more, and there are no bills to replace it. For those in the UK, there can be a day when the Online Safety Act is completely removed. For those in Australia, there can be a day when the restrictions for minors are lifted and ID is no longer required. For those in Canada, there can be a day when no more KOSA-like bills are introduced.

But to get to that day, we must work together. We must make our voices heard by any means necessary. If we must throw bricks or start fires or march in the streets, we shall. If we must drag the people who forced these bills and acts upon us out by the hair of their heads, we shall. We will get our point across, and they will hear us.

[moonglow-violets]

So, with KOSA apparently being reintroduced all over again, I once again urge my USAmerican followers - call your representatives and make sure that shit doesn't get voted in.

(EDIT: There is now an even worse act that got introduced in the form of the SCREEN act, S. 737 (not to be confused with the other SCREEN act, which is... Apparently for something else entirely.) - in a nutshell, it's UK's Online Safety Act on steroids, and if it passes, will be enforced by the FTC, who can and will go even after non-profits like AO3. Call your reps and tell them to vote no on it!)

UK followers - continue signing that one petition to repeal the Online Safety Act, contact your MPs, etc.

Canadian - apparently there is another bill they're trying to push through, S.209, so you know, take action against that as well.

Reminder that those are NOT about safety, but about control.

And no matter what else happens - do not obey in advance and try to keep a cool head about things. We can and SHOULD fight for our freedom, but remember that you shouldn't let them burn you out over it. Driving people to despair with fear is how they win.

[moonglow-violets]

[moonglow-violets]

[moonglow-violets]

[moonglow-violets]

‘Starlight’

Erin Kelso

Digital

For the ‘light’ challenge for Month of Love 2017

[moonglow-violets]

New Nook. Windy hills.

A great little ruin tucked under the banking of the M62 as it climbs up from Lancashire into Yorkshire.

www.richard-littlewood.com

[moonglow-violets]

ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏᴏᴅꜱ ᴡɪʟʟ ꜱᴡᴀʟʟᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ

[moonglow-violets]

@vbecker10 @oswildin

[moonglow-violets]

Landen, Belgium by Sinitta Leunen

[moonglow-violets]

Why do writers apologize for long fics? why aRE YOU SORRY FOR FEEDING US POOR, SORRY SOULS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ARTWORK WE COULD EVER DREAM OF READING?? DO MICHELIN STAR CHEFS APOLOGIZE FOR COOKING THE MOST DIVINE FOOD EVER MADE??? DO THEY APOLOGIZE FOR NOURISHING OUR BODY AND SOULS????

[moonglow-violets]