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Vintage Vault: 1921 Washburn Model 1915 Style 1222

A little giant of the original parlor-guitar style still has stories to tell. from Premier Guitar http://bit.ly/2vlEpIk

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Why I’m the Girl Who ‘Disappears’ During Conversations

Let me tell you about a girl who disappears during conversations.

At first, nobody notices it. You’ll be talking to her and she’s nodding, maybe jumping in with her own comment or two, and within minutes, you see a faraway look in her eyes. Some would say she’s not listening; rude right? She asks you to repeat what you said; thus, she’s definitely not listening, right?

I can’t remember how I became known as the girl who disappears during conversations, or the girl who nods to everything. As long as I can remember, I’ve seen life through foggy lenses. When I would talk to people, I didn’t feel all the way there. I was there but not really there. You know that scene in the movie where the girl is surrounded by her friends and all she can see is their mouths moving and their facial expressions changing but no sound is coming out? That’s how I feel sometimes. It’s like being in a scene where life is happening around you and you can’t hear anything or make sense of what’s happening because… you’re dissociating.

The first time I realized it was an issue was when people would constantly point out how I was always saying “yeah, true,” and agreeing to everything they said, then having to ask them exactly what I was agreeing with. To them, it seemed as if I wasn’t listening; to me, my thoughts are so loud that nothing else seems to register in my mind.

Tuning out can truly become a problem when you’re receiving criticism from a teacher or a boss. This one time I was being told what I did wrong and how I needed to improve and I swear, I wasn’t tuning out on purpose. But it’s as if my mind was shutting down from listening as a coping strategy — as a way of protecting myself from being hurt from what my teacher was saying.

Dissociation is a tactic our minds do to protect us from a potential threat that is overwhelming our capacity to process or cope with the threat. If anything, it helps us survive. However, it can become a problem when you’re experiencing dissociation on a day-to-day basis, and functioning a “normal” life can become extremely difficult.

Noticing when you are dissociating is not always easy; if anything, it takes someone else to point out to me that I’m not listening or I’m not paying attention. When this happens, instead of beating myself up and feeling guilt, I have started to do something else that has changed my life entirely. I’ll take a deep breath and ground myself. I will notice that yes, I was dissociating for that time, but I am here in the present moment and my dissociation does not make me a horrible person. Accepting that I will dissociate from time to time has helped me be kinder to myself. Surrounding myself with people who are empathetic and more forgiving has allowed me to overcome the roadblocks of shame and guilt that comes with having a dissociation disorder.

Some might still see me as the girl who “disappears” during conversations, but over time I have learned that with the help of my amazing counselor and through speaking about it with others who care about me, I’ve gotten rid of that definition of myself. Now, I see it as something that is part of me and not all of me.

from The Mighty http://bit.ly/2IDN1Tt

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What My Childhood Dream Says About Advertising and Body Dysmorphia

My childhood dream job was to be a “Victoria’s Secret” model. I ritually watched episodes of “America’s Next Top Model,” idolized Tyra Bank’s “smize” and practiced my catwalk on the not-so-glamorous brown carpet of my living room. The Victoria’s Secret catalog was my bible, and their model’s glowing skin, mature bodies and perfectly tousled hair were like candy to me. I couldn’t wait to be old enough to own every panty, bra and body spray they could throw at me.

Trivial questions clouded my thoughts on a regular basis. “Do you think I’ll have big boobs when I grow up,” I asked after studying my mother’s catalog. I must have been 10 and already theorized I needed a trim waist and perky chest to be valued as a woman.

Regardless of my breast size, I slowly realized my chances of being an underwear model were slim. My height peaked at 5 feet 4 inches and acne traveled from my face to my chest and back. Summer became the most dreaded season of the year. I avoided bathing suits and backless shirts like the plague. At 19, I opted to work at a “Victoria’s Secret” instead and watched Candice Swanepoel and Adriana Lima mimic me from cardboard cutouts throughout the store.

By that time, I fell even deeper into the brand’s web and became what was essentially a walking “Victoria’s Secret” PINK ad. It wasn’t enough to just wear the store’s underwear; I needed to sport their leisure clothing, too. I needed to smell exactly like what Rosie Huntington smelled like. It wasn’t just about fitting into the company culture; it was about making myself look much sexier than I felt. Having sex appeal was the cure to my depression and deep-seated insecurities.

A year later, in my university’s media ethics class, I was assigned to defend advertising’s influence on body shaming and sexism. My debate opponent made accurate points about the skinny, sexualized models we see in advertisements every day. She talked about the lack of representation of colored women and how it affects a woman’s self-esteem. My mind instantly went back to years of obsessing over those high-heeled, size-0 glamazons gracing my stack of Cosmopolitan magazines in my bedroom. I knew my opponent was right. As a woman, I knew it too well.

Instead, I argued the advertising industry didn’t create societal standards, but rather mimicked the message that was already embedded in American culture. I was confident with the newfound ability to make things up as I went along — a skill students often learned during their first year of liberal arts college. By the time my debate was over, I almost believed myself. Isn’t that what marketers do best? Stress a message they’re paid to share until their vulnerable audience believes it. This concept, altering a message to change the consumer’s perception, is known as marketing spin and is an extremely harmful form of propaganda.

Regardless of my college debate and years of work within the industry, I am still vulnerable to advertising. Every day, I struggle to counter pesky “I’m not good enough or skinny enough” thoughts. Every day, I force myself to ignore the compulsion to not nourish or love myself. Every day, I avoid the urge to buy tanning lotions, exfoliants, hair products, makeup, you name it, to reach society’s view of perfection — a standard that is so very obviously unobtainable, yet I feel the need to achieve it to feel like I matter as a woman.

Marketers are paid to make you believe their product — in my case, a lacy, sequined bra — is the solution to hating yourself. The irony is that their message is what’s causing a flux of body dysmorphia among women — a mental illness that causes persistent and intrusive thoughts of imagined defects in one’s appearance. These ads showcase unrealistic body types which are often altered significantly, thus causing women to compare themselves and feel unsatisfied with their weight. An essay by Healthy Place found 75% of women assumed they’re overweight, while 90% overestimated their body size. So, what some may call a “vanity” illness is actually a big culprit in developing an eating disorder like anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorder.

Whether or not advertising is the main culprit for body dysmorphic disorder and eating disorders, the effects are exponential. According to commonly quoted statistics, eating disorders are the third most common chronic illness among young people, after asthma and type 1 diabetes. Not to mention that eating disorders have the second highest mortality rate of all mental health disorders. Yet, there are still limited resources for treatment, especially with those whose severity is not considered as high as for anorexia. Treatment is especially unobtainable in areas of poverty.

Leave it to media to distort and glamorize what an eating disorder really looks like. Hollywood’s go-to disordered eater is often depicted as a frail-looking, heterosexual, white girl in high school or her early 20s. In her review of Netflix’s “To The Bone,” the network’s break-out movie about a young girl in and out of anorexia treatment, The Atlantic’s Sophie Gilbert affirms the lack of equal representation in Hollywood. “The fact that such a glut of movies exist about anorexia—compared with only a few about bulimia, and virtually none at all about binge-eating disorder, or Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder (OSFED), the latter of which afflicts as many as 60 percent of the patients in treatment for eating disorders—presents an uncomfortable paradox.”

Movies like “To The Bone” completely ignore women and men of color who exhibit disordered eating habits, when in reality black teenagers are 50% more likely than white teenagers to exhibit bulimic behavior. The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) additionally points out that doctors are less likely to acknowledge an individual of color’s eating disorder symptoms than white patients with similar concerns. This construct encourages those with an eating disorder to believe their symptoms are not severe enough to receive treatment, thus spiraling and worsening the need to restrict or control food consumption.

Ads teach us what to eat to be considered desirable. On my morning drive to work, I saw a billboard with a cheeseburger and “I Choose 600” printed large in the center. A peaceful commute turned into a half hour of debilitating thoughts surrounding food and calorie-counting. The billboard challenged all the progress I’ve made in my own recovery and mocked my decision to stop looking at calories.

Turns out the ad is from the New York State Department of Health’s iChoose600 campaign, which is “designed to support women in using menu labeling and using 600 calories or less per meal.” The campaign’s Facebook page encourages cutting extra calories by ordering a plain burger without condiments or sides. The problem here is that a plain burger, despite being considered “bad food,” is still not enough sustenance for a full meal. Meaning, the campaign is encouraging less food over nutritional meals, which is a substantial trigger for anyone with eating disorder symptoms. C’mon. We can do better to promote healthy living, can’t we?

The answer should be simple considering healthy eating is a trend circling the blogosphere and your discover tab on Instagram. We see daily posts from influencers trying fad diets with updates on their progress. We see photos of women comparing their before-and-after progress. We see sponsored content with young women claiming the effectiveness of stomach wraps, tummy-flattening shakes and skinny tea. Most of these products only help with temporary bloat by giving you diarrhea, but influencers aren’t telling their followers that.

The only thing influencer marketing is doing effectively is instilling obsession with our body’s appearance. We seem to forget all the good our bodies do for us like keeping us alive and moving. A big part of recovery for me was relearning everything my body does to support me instead of focusing on all the things it does “wrong.” Your skin, regardless of stretch marks, zits and scars, protects your organs and keeps you alive. Your legs, no matter the build or size, help you travel and see the world. Your arms, despite muscle tone, hold the things and people you love. Your breasts, regardless of cup size, nourish the little humans that came from your womb. Your body is pretty great when you think about it.

To rewire our brains, we need to understand the influential factors that caused these destructive insecurities in the first place. Maybe it was our mothers who told us we needed to lose weight or a middle school classmate who made fun of our curves. Either way, all these people have been affected in some way by how the media tell us to look. As early as the 1950s, women were advertised products to make them the ideal housewives to their husbands — ads that were indeed created by men. This dynamic created the expectation women existed solely to serve a man’s needs.

Though the housewife expectation is dwindling as women climb higher in their careers, marketing still holds power over us. We’re seeing mixed messages all over social media from fitness gurus and body-positive activists to campaigns selling products like diet pills and makeup. It can be difficult to comprehend what’s real and what it means to you. It’s certainly OK to enjoy wearing makeup and using beauty products, but we need to see the message through the fluff, glitter and thirst traps. Does the message make you feel bad about yourself? If so, learn to recognize it and move on. No product, Instagram account or pant size is worth your happiness.

from The Mighty http://bit.ly/2PqJOHv

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When I Was Treated Like a Criminal At the Airport Because of My Disability

I want to start by acknowledging that others have gone through worse scenarios with airport security. I understand that security screeners need to be diligent. However…

A few weeks ago I was heading down to visit family, primarily my new granddaughter. I was super excited about seeing her. When I booked my flight I did state that I needed some assistance. There was a very nice young lady who retrieved a wheelchair for me and got me up to the front of the line to check my bags and my boarding pass. That was where the niceness ended.

My boarding pass showed that I was pre-screened and at security I was told I would not have to take off my shoes. I got to the actual screening site and was told I needed to remove shoes before going into the scanner. I showed that I was pre-screened, but that did not matter. So, off came the shoes along with my AFO brace. They asked me about any metal and I told them both knees and left hip were replaced. Into the scanner I went, and of course it alarmed.

I was then treated like a common criminal. The agent made me take off all my braces. I asked her if I could please leave on my knee brace as it is difficult to get on and off. She denied my request. I removed my hand braces, knee brace and she took everything (including my AFO and shoes) to another scanner, out of my sight. When all that cleared she came back and did a very thorough pat down, up and down my legs. I was wearing leggings, so no hiding anything under them, but she patted me down with excessive exuberance!

As I sat there in a chair, watching many people come through the scanner and get at mosr an additional wave scanner run over them, I felt so exposed. People were watching me take off and put back on my braces, shoes etc. The agent never even cracked a smile — she was just plain rude. I have written to the TSA and it was forwarded to the airport. I received an email from the head of security apologizing and asking me for more info.

We as disabled persons need to be treated with respect at the airport, not singled out because we are in a wheelchair, wear braces or use a walking aid of some sort. Thankfully on the way home I was treated so kindly. That airport allowed me to keep my braces on and they just swiped them down with pads to check for explosives. They treated me with kindness, dignity and respect. That’s how it should always be.

from The Mighty http://bit.ly/2VZ6P6U

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How Theatre Can Change the Lives of People With Disabilities

My name is Kim Henry and I am the Director of Theatre for All, Wilmington, North Carolina’s only theatre company for people with disabilities. Theatre for All believes in the power of theatre to create positive change within underserved communities and that everyone deserves access to the arts.

We began in 2015 with one official theatre company comprised of eight members as well as one outreach program at Laney High School. Currently, we have two official companies who rehearse weekly and perform original shows twice a year to a public audience. Our outreach program serves approximately 80 disabled students a week who would otherwise have little to no access to the arts.

Every TFA class holds magic moments and breakthroughs as our members discover how the arts can take them beyond their labels.

In 2018, I also designed a Leadership Training Program to train TFA’s most experienced students to become TFA Teaching Assistants. This exciting vocational rehabilitation branch of TFA aims to provide meaningful employment for trained TFA members and has led to TFA recently becoming an official VR vendor for North Carolina.

It is our dream that every school in America has a TFA program so that all people can experience the uplifting power of the arts.

As the largest minority in America, the disability communities are among the most susceptible community to experience depression, isolation and consider suicide. I think our story would be inspiring to many!

from The Mighty http://bit.ly/2vgilz0

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Free May 2019 Homekeeping Calendar

It’s almost May and that means it’s time for the free May 2019 Homekeeping Calendar. I love sharing this with you because I know that this little tool has the potential to change your home and life in just minutes a day. If you’ve been following Clean Mama for even a week, you know that […]

The post Free May 2019 Homekeeping Calendar appeared first on Clean Mama.

from Clean Mama http://bit.ly/2DpJowf

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5 Lessons About Disability From the Netflix Show ‘Special’

Netflix just released a brand new series called “Special” that follows the story of an openly gay man who is 28 years old and has mild cerebral palsy. Ryan is an intern at Eggwoke, an online magazine. During this series, we get a clear view on what life is like for him as he goes through obstacles and learns self-acceptance. Here are five things we could all learn from watching “Special.”

1. Some people don’t understand our differences.

At the beginning of the first chapter, “Cerebral Lolzy,” Ryan is walking down the street and a little boy riding along with his scooter gets scared by the way Ryan walks. He asks Ryan “What’s wrong?” Ryan tells him he has cerebral palsy, the kid asks what that means, Ryan explains and the kid screams.

2. We all live life in our own way.

Ryan is a typical 28-year old man who lives his life to the best of his abilities. He is an intern at an online magazine called Eggwoke and he has his group of friends, in fact, his bestie Kim works with him. Although Ryan has had difficulty fitting in society, he finds a way to make it work. I believe we can all find a way to adapt to our lives when we have difficulties that come our way.

3. You should embrace who you are and never hide it.

Throughout the eight-episode series, Ryan hides the fact he has a mild form of cerebral palsy from his new employers at EggWoke magazine. He tells them the reason he limps is because he was hit by a car while crossing the road. He even goes as far as writing an article in which he lied about getting hit by a car and becoming impaired.

Ryan found it hard to keep hiding the truth about his limp. Later on in the series, after finding out his article got the highest views in Eggwoke history, he decides to tell his co-workers the truth about his diagnosis of cerebral palsy. He soon learns that people couldn’t care less about the cause of his disability. His friends liked him for the wild party boy he was.

4. Everyone can be sexual in our own way.

Ryan becomes very curious about sex and being sexual. He explores that area by hiring a surrogate sex partner and it helps him find the confidence to be sexual. He also learns how to have a partner in bed and be himself. He learns that being sexual in his own shy way is how he embraces who he is as an openly gay man. Despite any challenges we may have in the bedroom, we all have different ways of being sexual with our partners.

5. Not everyone is truly your friend, and sometimes people will just be around you to see you fail.

In the series, Ryan moves out of his mom’s house and decides to throw a housewarming party. Ryan invites his so-called “friends” but at the last minute, they bail on him. The only person who comes through is his co-worker Kim.

Overall, there are a ton of things you can learn just by watching the series. “Special” is a show full of humor, laughter, and joy. I just can’t enough of it!

from The Mighty http://bit.ly/2IXQg7L

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3 Questions to Ask Before Buying a Whirlpool Tub

Content originally published and Shared from http://perfectbath.com

Are you buying your first whirlpool bathtub? Let us help you narrow down the choices. Start by asking yourself the following questions:

Will it fit in the bathroom? Make sure to measure your bathroom before you even look at a whirlpool, including any space you might gain taking down dividing walls or showers. “Most whirlpools come in three standard sizes,” says Morey. “Five feet, five and a half and six. But you can’t just consider the tub size — they’re all designed to be dropped into a deck, and that will take up more space, with the bare minimum adding at least a half-inch to your measurements on all sides.

“If you think you’d like to hold a lot of stuff like candles and oils near the water, you’ll also need extra space on the deck,” says Morey. “If you’re over six feet tall, you may want to forfeit deck space for more tub room.” Source: HGTV

Is your current heating system enough? If you choose to heat your whirlpool with your existing in-home heating system, make sure it can handle the amount of water needed to fill the whirlpool. With an external system, the water in the tub will get cool quickly due to the circulating jets, so you will need to frequently refill the tub with hot water. A 50 gallon quick recovery system should be sufficient.

The other option is a self-heating system. A self-heating whirlpool comes with its own internal heating system that circulates the tub water and reheats when necessary. This is a good energy-saving option and the best way to keep your water temperature consistent. Source: DoItYourself

Which type of jet should you pick? Choose between water jets or air jets. Water-jet whirlpool tubs force water through jets, giving more pressure and a forceful massage. In air-jet whirlpool tubs, air is forced through tiny holes for a lighter massage. A combination whirlpool tub uses both, but will be more expensive and may use more energy.

One drawback of water-jet and combination tubs is that you can’t use bath salts or oils, as these will damage the pumping mechanism.

Another water-jet and combination tub drawback is that some water stays in the jets, and mold can develop if they’re not regularly cleaned out. Source: WikiHow

We can help you figure out which brand or type of whirlpool tub will work best for your needs. Find out more when you call us today!

  Contact: Perfect Bath Phone: Toll Free 1-866-843-1641 Calgary, Alberta Email: info@perfectbath.com

The post 3 Questions to Ask Before Buying a Whirlpool Tub appeared first on Perfect Bath Canada.

from Perfect Bath Canada http://bit.ly/2W6LBE4

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Spring Landscaping Tips

Now that winter has passed, it’s the season of new beginnings. This spring is the perfect time to start working on improving your home’s curb appeal by doing the following tips:

Do your research Similarly to a do it yourself project, plan out your strategy for your landscaping in advance. Are you going to break it up in phases, or are you going to hire a landscape professional to help you plan? Ask for guidance from your local nursery or neighbors who have beautiful landscaping! They can probably give you as good of advice as a professional. Source: Freshome

Check for damage In colder climates grass starts growing in April, but early spring is a good time to test the soil’s pH so that you can assemble the right amendments. Remove turf damaged by salt, plows, or disease to prepare for the seeding that should follow in a few weeks. Work in a ½-inch layer of compost to keep the new seed moist, increasing the germination rate. Begin seeding once forsythia starts blooming in your area.  Source: ThisOldHouse

Plan for the future look When selecting plants for your landscaping, consider how large each will grow over time. This provides you with the opportunity to space everything out perfectly, and more importantly, ensure that the proper plants are planted in the best areas in your yard. Most plants will have the estimated height and growth requirements available prior to purchase. If not, this is something you will definitely want to know before purchasing. Source: BHGRE

Prepare the lawn mower You may not be mowing the grass for a while, but when the time comes, you’ll want your lawn mower is in good condition. If you didn’t remove the dirty oil or replace the spark plugs during the fall, now’s the time to swap out the used oil for new oil and replace old spark plugs. Also, lightly lubricate the wheel bearing, height adjuster, and any other moving parts, following the manual’s instructions. Make sure to have the lawn mower blades sharpened by a professional, so they’ll cut the grass evenly. Source: GoodHousekeeping

Do you have damaged paving stones in your front yard? Give us a call! We can help make it look better.

  Contact: Kerrisdale Roofing & Drains 8279 Ross St, Vancouver, BC V5X 4W1 (604) 360-2114

from Kerrisdale RD http://bit.ly/2vj2Hme

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13 Pillows That Help People With Fibromyalgia Sleep Better

If you have fibromyalgia, there’s a chance a good night’s rest might not be the most attainable goal, especially if you don’t have the best pillow. A pillow can give you the comfort you need so you don’t have to worry about overly restless nights, waking up with a headache or feeling too achy because you didn’t sleep in the best position. Your pillow could make all the difference when it comes to sleeping.

Fibromyalgia is a complex chronic disorder that’s best described as a “fight-or-flight” or “hypervigilant” chronic illness. Your brain processes pain differently, causing common fibromyalgia symptoms like widespread pain, fatigue and brain fog. All of these symptoms can lead to a restless night, no matter how many hours you sleep. That’s why the right pillow is incredibly important if you have fibromyalgia.

We asked The Mighty’s fibromyalgia community what pillows they recommend. All of these pillows have been tried and tested by people who live with fibromyalgia, giving you some great options to improve your sleep.

Here’s what our community recommended: 

1. MyPillow

MyPillow will adjust to whatever sleep position you are in. This is great news if you have fibromyalgia since you might sleep in multiple positions throughout the night to stay comfortable.

“I got a MyPillow and it is the BEST thing I have ever done for my sleep,” said Stephanie Goodman. “I often go to bed with neck pain and the only pillow I’ve ever found that helps is the MyPillow. You can form it however you need, and it stays fluffed up that way. I even take it with me when I go to hotels!”

“I got a MyPillow and it is my favorite pillow,” said Kiera Blaize Becker. “I have fibromyalgia and I’ve never slept better than I do now.”

“I use a MyPillow-firm and a body pillow,” said Linda Nimz-Litvin. “I’m a side sleeper. Used to get neck aches until I switched to the MyPillow — worth it 100%.”

Buy the MyPillow Standard/Queen Classic Medium Support pictured above for $79.95 from Amazon.

2. Dunlopillo Latex Pillow

If you have fibromyalgia, you probably don’t want a pillow that is overly firm, but you also probably don’t want one that’s completely flat and lifeless. The Dunlopillo latex pillow gives you a balance of both comfort and support and is known to be a great option for side sleepers.

“I love my Dunlopillo latex pillow, medium feel, high profile,” Sasha Jones said. “It’s the perfect pillow. It’s high enough to support the neck and reduce pain, but not so high that it hurts. The height cushions around the neck in support gently. It’s latex so the inside doesn’t shift and stays even and comfortable. The medium feel means it’s soft on sore necks, but not too squishy that you get no support. Nor is it too hard so that it hurts like some pillows. It’s perfectly balanced. I find a lot of support pillows are weird textures or materials, this just feels like a well-made pillow. Wouldn’t ever buy another brand.”

Buy the Dunlopillo High Profile Medium Feel Luxurious Latex Pillow above for $169.95 from Dunlopillo.

3. Moonlight Slumber Comfort-U Body Pillow

Sometimes when you have fibromyalgia, you’ll wake up with a headache or your body will hurt because of the position you slept in. This Moonlight pillow aligns your body while sleeping, making sure you don’t end up in a position you’ll end up regretting when you wake up.

“The Comfort-U pillow has saved my sanity,” said Valerie Galindo. “I bought the flannel case for the winter but the case that came with it is good for the warmer months. I bought mine on Amazon but it might be available somewhere else. It’s very long but I like that I can elevate my entire side from my feet all the way to my shoulders.”

Buy the Moonlight Slumber Comfort-U Total Body Support Pillow for $99.95 from Amazon.

4. Mediflow Waterbase Pillow

Chronic neck pain is a common symptom of fibromyalgia. The water technology used in this Mediflow pillow recommended by Dianna Brown can help reduce neck pain so you wake up feeling better, not worse.

Buy this Mediflow Waterbase Pillow above for $49.99 from Amazon.

5. U-Shaped Pregnancy Pillow

A U-shaped pregnancy pillow is different from the regular U-shaped pillow. It curves in and give you some extra pelvic support in case your back pain goes down your body and into your legs. It provides that extra bit of reinforcement for a more comfortable sleeping position.

“U-shaped ‘pregnancy’ pillow,” suggested Karla Pearce. “It has changed my life! From Amazon (and I’m sure elsewhere) and it’s not too expensive and you can order lovely covers in various colors (though I recommend if you can to get someone else to change them for you or else you’ll be sore). Prior to this I had a V-shape pillow, but the U-shape full body pillow is the way to go.”

“The U-shaped pregnancy pillow!” Alexandria Pattie recommended. “There’s so many different positions you can have it in, which means support for all different locations and types of pain. I used to have to surround myself with pillows to sleep, but now I just need this one with one thin pillow.”

Buy the Full Body Maternity Pillow with Contoured U-Shape by Bluestone for $29.99 from Amazon.

6. Boppy Pregnancy Body Pillow

The Bobby pregnancy pillow gives you support on one side of the body. It’s contoured in a way so it will support your hips and neck the most. If you have fibromyalgia and those are the areas you need to reinforce more, this is a good pillow option for you.

“I love my Boppy Total Body Pillow and a regular old body pillow!” said Kristen Rosa. “I have one at my feet and another one at my side. They are all amazing and help me sleep much more solidly.”

Buy the Boppy Pregnancy Body Pillow pictured above for $49.74 from Amazon.

7. Memory Foam Pillow With Infused Gel

This memory foam pillow supports your shoulders and your neck while keeping you cool. Since fibromyalgia can make sleep difficult, anything such as cooling technology that supports positive sleep can be beneficial.

“Sharper Image cooling memory foam pillow,” recommended Emilie Welker. “It’s correctly supportive, comfortable and helps regulate my temperature (which is difficult for me). It’s also great for when I feel a migraine building — that cooling gel really makes a difference, especially on those overheating days.”

Buy the Memory Foam Pillow With Infused Gel for $79.99 from Sharper Image.

8. Firm-Stuffed Feather Pillow

Feather pillows have always been known to be light and comfortable. If you have fibromyalgia though, you might be excited for the comfort but worried about the support level. Recommended by Jessica Nouveau Gagnon, this firm-stuffed pillow gives you the best of both worlds with the comfort of a regular feather pillow and the support of a firm pillow as well.

Buy the Kornvallmo Firm-Stuffed Feather Pillow for $79.99 from IKEA.

9. Serta iComfort Sleep System Freestyle

Neck pain is a common symptom of fibromyalgia. When your neck is sensitive, a pillow like this Serta Freestyle is cut specifically for neck support and can provide a lot of comfort for you throughout the night.

“Serta I-Comfort Freestyle pillow with the notch cut out for the neck,” suggested Marcy Wysocki. “I’ve slept the best for a couple years now since using this pillow. I’ve already ordered a back-up one! Just in case! It’s a bit pricey but totally worth it.”

Buy the Serta iComfort Sleep System Freestyle above for $90.20 from Sears.

10. Pillow Pets

Pillow pets are stuffed animals that turn into pillows and were suggested as an option by Lex Frankenstein. They’re great if you have fibromyalgia because they conform to whatever shape you need — folded or flat. It’s a good option if you need an extra pillow at night under your shoulder, neck or wherever else you might have pain. Plus, they’re extra cute.

Buy the Panda Pillow Pet pictured above for $19.99 from Amazon.

11. L- and V-Shaped Pillows

  Shoulder pain is a common complaint if you have fibromyalgia. An L- or V-shaped pillow will actually go underneath your shoulders and arms and give you the shoulder support you could need.

“I have a V pillow and it’s really comfortable,” said Bethan Catherine Jones. “It takes the strain off my shoulders and neck and cushions me a lot more. You can also use it to sit up in bed comfortably and support your lower back when sitting up.”

Buy the Contour Products L-Shaped Bed Pillow for $29.95 from Amazon.

12. iGel Side Sleeper Pillow

This temperature-regulating iGel Side Sleeper pillow is firm and can give you the support your neck might need. It’s great for side sleepers who might tend to angle their neck at night in a self-sabotaging way. Siobhan O’Brien suggested this option for a better sleep experience.

Buy the iGel Side Sleeper Pillow for £59.99 from Bensons for Beds.

13. The Purple Pillow

If you have fibromyalgia, you might already feel stiff and the last thing you probably want is a pillow that makes you feel even tighter. The purple pillow, however, is firm but won’t cause any extra aches when you wake up after sleeping for hours.

“I use the Purple Pillow,” said Ashley Allison. “It’s pretty flat, which is good for back or tummy sleeping, and when I want to lay on my side, I fold it in half. The gel feels nice and it’s supportive but not stiff like so many pillows feel to me. I also use the purple pillow cover sheet. It’s very stretchy and soft.”

Buy the Purple Pillow above for $99 from Amazon.

What pillows help you sleep better with fibromyalgia? Let us know in the comments below.

from The Mighty http://bit.ly/2UQUfdq

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14 Things People Don't Realize You're Doing Because You're 'Pangry'

Have you ever been so hungry that you start growing irritable? Maybe you’ve snapped at loved ones, or said or done things that are extremely out of character, all because you’ve gone longer than usual without nutrition. If you can relate, then you’ve been what people call “hangry.”

While “hanger” is a fairly common experience, if you experience chronic pain, then you may also be familiar with its cousin, “panger” – the anger and frustration that can result from living in constant pain.

The pain alone can naturally be stressful, overwhelming and irritating beyond words. But as Mighty contributor Stephen Fratello explained in his essay, there are so many aspects of life with chronic pain that can be frustrating:

Being sick is not easy. It can involve a series of judgments from society, family, friends and sadly, the medical community. It can involve a series of terrible doctor appointments and rude staff. (Yes, there are some good doctors and friendly staff, too). It can involve dealing with the grief and depression and anxiety of not being able to live a full life. It can involve dealing with medication side effects that cause more harm than good at times. This can be infuriating.

If the many frustrations of life with chronic pain have ever caused you to grow “pangry,” you’re not alone.

Everyone may react to and manage this anger in different ways. Some people may become irritable and unintentionally snap at their loved ones. Others may withdraw and isolate themselves from the world.

While it’s never OK to treat people with violence or hostility, it’s also important to recognize that we may never understand the full extent of what another person is going through. Sometimes, inner hurt or pain manifests through outward anger. Communicating this to friends and loved ones can help them better understand the struggles we’re facing on days we’re especially pangry.

That’s why we asked our Mighty community to share something they do that people don’t realize they’re doing because they’re pangry. If you recognize any of the following behaviors, you’re not alone. Let us know how being pangry affects you in the comments below.

Here’s what our community shared with us:

1. Shutting Down

“Going quiet. I don’t respond. I go into my head and shut down so I don’t say something I don’t really mean.” – Ariel A.

“I usually end up just shutting down. Because everything makes me upset. I want to say the meanest things when I feel that way. So instead of snapping at people, I just shut down and say nothing at all.” – Aleyah-Grace J.

“I quit talking. You know what they say, if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all. I go into total lockdown mode so I don’t yell or argue with everyone. It seems like when I’m in pain things get on my last nerve that otherwise, I wouldn’t notice or bat an eye at. I feel like a lot of my pain brings frustration for what I can’t do in addition to the physical pain. It’s really hard losing the life you once knew to chronic and debilitating pain.” – Jamie H.

2. Snapping at Others

“I snap at people for small things which makes me feel guilty, so I then isolate myself for fear of doing it again.” – Amber F.B.

“I become irritated much quicker at the littlest things and then snap at everyone. I really don’t mean to do it but I can’t seem to stop.” – Beth G.

“When I’m pangry and someone asks me what’s wrong, I ‘snap’ and say I hurt. I’m not trying to be rude, but I’m in severe pain and I just wanna be left alone or I just don’t wanna talk. When I hurt or when I’m angry I just wanna be left alone normally and then I’ll eventually cry cause I don’t know what else to do cause with chronic pain there’s a point I come to where I’m just done with everything.” – Nicole L.

3. Avoiding People

“I avoid people when they call or text me, family and friends alike. I’m usually attached to my phone, but when I’m pangry, I want the outside world to just go away.” – Erin N.

“Avoidance. I avoid people because I know I’m angry for being in pain, it has nothing to do with them, and they’re just caught in the cross fire. Or I’m overly blunt. ‘Look I feel like crap, high pain day, what do you want?'” – Amy M.B.

4. Clenching Your Jaw

“I clench my jaw and don’t realize I’m doing it until I unclench it. I also get snappy and critical of people, especially my mum, and find it very hard to make decisions. I can’t think about anything other than the pain and how much I hate it.” – Alley D.

“Clench my jaws, grit my teeth, scowl, frown.” – Susan R.

“For me, it feels like I’ve got a complete lack of patience, anything and everything irritates me, and I have to constantly remind myself to unclench my jaw.” – Ashley S.

5. Losing Patience

“My lack of patience. Whether it’s with repeating myself or asking for something to get done, I get very impatient very quickly.” – Lauren H.

“When I’m having a bad pain day, I have zero patience. I snap, get cocky and rude. I purposefully push people away. Then I get angry at myself because there are better ways to handle the situation.” – Courtney S.

6. Experiencing Mood Swings

“Definitely mood swings. I have a pain level tolerance you could say I’ve grown accustomed to up to that point. When it goes beyond that the pain just overwhelms me and I don’t know how to express emotions. I’ll cry, I’ll curl up and want to be left alone. On rare occasions screaming but that usually makes the pain worse, so I basically just shut down.” – Molly S.

7. Warning Loved Ones

“I warn my husband, if I am pangry I tell him and he knows to give me space because my pain is directly causing anger and upset feelings. This way he knows it’s not his fault and I don’t have to keep things in.” – Joan W.A.

“I try my best not to take it out on my children, but sometimes, I have to give them a heads up that Mommy is in a lot of pain and it’s making her irritable and impatient, but she’s trying not to take it out [on] them because it’s not their fault. Unfortunately, they do get snapped at and I have to apologize for overreacting.” – Ashley S.

8. Struggling to Make Decisions

“Slam the cupboards and end up in tears. I can’t make decisions if I want to eat or anything.” – Monika S.

“My decision making is off… so if my husband starts asking me a bunch of questions I will usually snap or become very mean. As if I am trying to push him away. It’s like I know no one will want to speak to me when I’m like that, so I’ll have the peace I need to deal with the agonizing pain I’m in. I know it will pass, I know my meds will eventually start to work, but I just don’t have the energy to explain that.” – Ashley H.

9. Feeling Easily Bothered by Noises

“I struggle with impatience – not great for a mother and teacher. I also struggle with noises, particularly repetitive sounds and loud sounds.” – Heather D.

“I tell people to stop clicking pens, tapping their fingers, and ask anyone making small and repetitive movements or sounds to stop. On a regular pain day I have enough tolerance to handle (and I would think it impolite to ask), but high pain days they seem to be huge trigger irritants for me.” – Mariah C.

10. Crying in Frustration

“[I get pangry] mostly because the pain limits me from doing all the things I did before. I get frustrated and cry, and I don’t think others fully understand that it’s the pain making me act that way.” – Joanne S.

“I cry. A lot. I get so frustrated that I can’t go out, that I’m going to have another day of being at home alone in my bed or on the sofa in agony. I cry hard when I’m angry which increases my pain and it sucks. I’d give anything to just be well enough to spend time with my friends.” – Abi R.

11. Focusing on Your Breath

“My breathing becomes faster and louder (I’ve been told). [I] think it’s my way of trying to distract myself from my mood!” – Jill C.

“When I get ‘pangry,’ people don’t realize that I try to breathe mindfully and focus on my breath. They have no idea I am not paying attention haha!” – Bela C.

“No patience, everything irritates me, and I tend to take deep breaths and sigh a lot.” – Heather N.

12. Cursing

“I get so irritable that everything and everyone annoys me… including myself!! I have zero patience and I curse like a sailor.” – Lára Ní N.

“Cuss! I mean foul words!” – Jacqulyen B.H.

13. Zoning Out

“Stare off, not pay attention to conversations, [get] easily irritated. My husband asking me if I’m OK, but I’m tired of telling him I’m just in pain… so I say I’m OK, but that frustrates me even more.” – Allison A.L.

14. Getting ‘Fidgety’

“My husband cops the brunt of my anger as he’s the closest to me. Thankfully also, the most patient and understanding. He’ll let me rant and rave over the [silliest] thing ’cause he knows I’m coming from frustration and pain, not real anger. My patience goes out the window too. I’ll also get ‘fidgety’ and sigh a lot.” – Cindy W.

“I get very panicky and I just look like I’m about to cry. I’ll immediately look for an exit strategy and uber/taxi the hell out of there so I can go home and get some pain meds in me so I can rest. I’ll likely be fidgety and short-tempered, and just holding very still until I know the uber has arrived so I can focus all of my strength in making it to the car, then to my door.” – Carolina P.

If you struggle with anger or mood swings because of your chronic pain, you’re not alone. To learn more, check out the following stories from our community:

What Doctors Need to Understand About Chronic Pain and Anger

It’s OK to Feel Angry or Resentful Sometimes When You Have a Chronic Illness

28 Unexpected Emotional Symptoms of Chronic Illness

The Pep Talk I Give Myself When My Illness Makes Me Feel Angry

Please Stop Anger-Shaming the Chronically Ill

from The Mighty http://bit.ly/2PthYdO

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When Strangers Only See My Child's Down Syndrome Diagnosis

A friend I know from social media recently shared a conversation she had at the library for story time. She noticed a lady staring at her youngest child, who has Down syndrome. The lady said to her, “She’s Downs, right?” My friend responded, “Her name is Victoria and she has Down syndrome.”

When you meet someone for the first time, remember they are not a diagnosis.

We are more alike than different!

Not only in this situation, but in others, many see those who have a disability or anyone who is different in any way as inferior. It may not be something they feel is true about themselves and would never admit to it publicly, but that subconscious feeling of viewing anyone who is different as inferior is there. That is why many speak to others without acknowledging their personhood and focus on a diagnosis.

I say this, not condescendingly, but with insight because I have been guilty of these types of subconscious feelings myself. Advocating is key. While social media is fine and dandy, I believe many who don’t personally know anyone who has a disability see our posts and possibly say to themselves, “Awe, that’s sweet,” and keep scrolling.

Our real progress with advocacy is when we have moments like my friend did in the library, with a personal contact.

When we are given a moment to make a change in any given day, seize that moment! Carpe Diem with love and kindness!

Henry Blackaby is a pastor and has a study guide called, “Experiencing God.” In this book, he says God is always at work around us. He invites us to join Him and it is up to us to do so. I believe that.

Moments are given to us to make a difference daily.

May I realize I have a mission field around me every single day.

We can make a difference if we are willing to do so with love.

from The Mighty http://bit.ly/2UXMEtG

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The Initial Thoughts That Went Through My Mind After My Cancer Diagnosis

Over the years, I have known several people who have had cancer. No matter how close I might have been to them, there are many questions I didn’t feel right asking them and a lot of information I just didn’t know or fully understand.

What I always wanted to understand the most was how, deep down, the disease really affected them emotionally. Were they scared, regretful of not doing more before they were diagnosed, did they feel they could fight through their disease or could they tell that fighting wouldn’t help them? These are such deeply personal questions that I just couldn’t ask. Of course everyone must have different answers based on individual personality, the type of cancer, what stage they are in and so forth. Even so, it would have been nice to have connected on a more personal level. I felt I was never there the way I could have been because I just didn’t understand what they were experiencing physically or emotionally and I didn’t know how to do more without feeling like I was invading very personal and private space.

Back when I was in the very early stages of having cancer, there were so many questions that plagued my own mind. What I have figured out so far is that I hope family and friends never feel uncomfortable asking me the tough questions. It’s just another part of who I am and I want to remain close with those I love. Part of being close is for those around me to truly understand who I am, how I am dealing with what is in front of me and feeling comfortable having conversations with me that no one ever wants to have.

I remember struggling to find my own balance to come to conclusions that would be satisfactory for my own life. When I was first diagnosed, the hardest thing for me to work on was my fear. I was so incredibly overwhelmed that I cried all the time. The fact that multiple myeloma is not a cancer that can be cured and can also have a short lifespan didn’t help my state of mind much.

Early on one of my biggest worry was, how do I present myself as someone who is strong and unafraid? It seems that the comments you hear again and again from family and friends of cancer patients is how strong they are, how they never show fear, how they are able to take it all in stride, how impressed everyone is with their ability to stay so calm and determined to power through.

Talk about pressure. I felt like a failure at handling a cancer diagnosis because I was so scared and wanted to talk through the fear. I felt like I was letting those around me down because I couldn’t mask my feelings very well. It made me wonder how many other people felt the same way when confronted with such a hideous diagnosis. Where did these patients find the strength? Why was I already failing so badly when I hadn’t even started treatment?

A few years have passed and the intensity of my feelings have calmed down quite a bit. Over time my worry began centering around the burden aspect of having cancer. I had difficulty wrapping my head around the financial and emotional toll my health might take on the family. There were times in my life where money was scarce and I didn’t ever want to revisit that again in my life or leave a burden like that on my own family. It’s one thing to go through a tough time and be able to help dig out. It’s quite another when you are sick and dependent on those around you to do all the digging while you are unable to help. It’s even worse knowing it’s your fault the situation even exists.

I went through anxiety thinking about the family as caregivers and having to help me, worry about me and feel drained emotionally because of me. I realized early on that if I had a curable cancer, I could see fighting it. I could drain a bank account and not feeling as guilty about getting some help because there was a much better chance that I would get through it all and live many years in which I could show my gratitude, help get back on track and be there for everyone else.

I am just grazing over the surface of some of the initially thoughts that plagued me when first diagnosed. Thankfully I am in a much better place now. I have found my new normal, the family has too and there is a renewed calm in the air. Nothing has been nearly as traumatic as I was afraid it would be. Money has been available and not being able to work has felt much less burdensome as time has gone on. I am grateful to have a loving family who never put pressure on me or made me feel anything but love and joy for being in their lives. Things did get better once the initial shock wore off and I learned how to reboot my life in a brand new way. I wish I had had someone to tell me that when I first went through the beginning stages of having cancer.

from The Mighty http://bit.ly/2GCW9pe

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If You've Tried to Hide Your Diabetes Supplies, You Might Relate to James Norton's Tricks

Diabetes is often thought of as an “invisible” disease since you can’t tell just by looking at someone if they have diabetes. On the other hand, diabetes management requires so many supplies and pieces of equipment that it may not always feel quite so invisible. People with diabetes are pros at figuring out the best ways to discreetly manage their blood sugar, including British actor James Norton. You might relate to the creative strategies he uses when he doesn’t want to draw attention to his diabetes.

The actor, who has appeared in TV series including “Grantchester,” “McMafia” and the BBC’s adaptation of “War & Peace,” revealed in an appearance at the Talking About Diabetes conference in London that he has found ways to work around his type 1 diabetes since his diagnosis at age 22.

Type 1 diabetes is a chronic condition in which the pancreas is unable to produce enough insulin to allow sugar to enter cells to produce energy. People living with the condition must constantly monitor their blood sugar levels and inject insulin or consume sugar to prevent blood sugar from going dangerously low or high. Norton said being in a play is complicated because he might be onstage for an hour and a half and need to treat low blood sugar during that time. If it’s a period drama, he’ll ask the costume designers to create a hidden pocket where he can stash some sugar tablets.

“If I start to feel shaky, I’ll improvise: I’ll wander upstage, throw three dextrose tablets in my mouth and then carry on with the scene,” Norton said, according to the Daily Mail. “I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve done that.”

He uses a continuous glucose monitor (CGM), which utilizes a small sensor inserted underneath the skin to measure glucose levels and transmit the data to a receiver or smartphone. Normally, the device is attached to his chest, but if he’s doing a scene that requires him to take off his shirt, he said he moves it to a more “hidden” location.

“On days when I need to bare my torso, I attach it to one of my buttocks,” he said.

Norton said his acting career led him to opt not to use an insulin pump, and instead inject insulin himself. He injects about 15 times a day.

“As an actor, I’m constantly changing costumes. Sometimes I have to do a scene naked, with my top off, or wearing tight clothes,” he said. “I don’t want to be attached to two pieces of equipment.”

He’s had a lot of support managing his diabetes — both his mom and younger sister, Jessie, also have type 1 diabetes. Since Jessie was diagnosed at 9 years old, he was already accustomed to helping her with her diabetes when he got his diagnosis.

“It was traumatic because I’m a terrible hypochondriac anyway,” Norton said. “But it was also manageable because I had the best role model in my sister, who was training to be a doctor. I called her so many times, worrying about things, which was strange, because I’d always been the protective older brother, keeping an eye on Jessie at parties.”

“As a family, we’re so relaxed about our diabetes,” he added. “My mum has had to bring needles to film sets because I sometimes forget. We don’t think of ourselves as a ‘diabetic family.’ We’re just three type 1’s getting on with it.”

He spoke strongly about the need for diabetes technology to be available to everyone (the National Health Service does not cover CGMs for all people with diabetes) and said diabetes has given him “extraordinary” empathy for anyone going through something that makes them “different.”

“That empathy extends to everyone — epileptics, celiacs, diabetics — anyone who has something that makes them a little bit different,” he said. “It’s a lovely, empowering thing.”

Diabetes requires so much care that most people have no idea about — which may lead you to do things no one sees in order to manage your blood sugar. We asked our Mighty community to share something people don’t realize they’re doing because of their diabetes. You might relate to what they shared.

For more insight into the diabetes experience, written by people who have been there, check out these stories:

How I Deal With Periods of ‘Diabetes Burnout’

When My Coworker Asked If My Life Was Hard Because of Diabetes

Life on a Sliding Scale: The Ups and Downs of Diabetic Math

from The Mighty http://bit.ly/2UPPKjc

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'Peppa Pig' Introduces Mandy Mouse, New Recurring Character With a Disability

A new “Peppa Pig” friend has rolled into town and she has a disability. On April 3, the popular British cartoon introduced viewers to Mandy Mouse, a character who uses a wheelchair.

Mandy Mouse made her debut via a teaser on the official “Peppa Pig” Twitter account. It read:

Squeak! Introducing the newest member of the playgroup, Mandy Mouse!

Squeak! Introducing the newest member of the playgroup, Mandy Mouse! ???? pic.twitter.com/cwMy8vFuVS

— Peppa Pig Official (@peppapig) April 3, 2019

Mandy Mouse first appears in episode eight of the show’s sixth season, titled “Mandy Mouse.” She joins Peppa Pig’s playgroup and is really good at playing basketball. When Peppa asks her why she uses a wheelchair, Mandy says it is because her legs don’t work like Peppa’s.

Mandy’s disability is not a central part of the story, but rather she joins the group as just one of the kids. According to Pop Sugar, Mandy Mouse will be a recurring character on the series.

Since Mandy Mouse’s introduction, parents of kids with disabilities as well as disabled adults have taken to twitter to express their support of the new character:

Oh this is so good. Well done! With love from a 29 year old wheelchair user who will now be watching Peppa Pig avidly.

— Hollie-Anne Brooks ♿️ (@HollieAnneB) April 3, 2019

My little girl has a wheelchair and she spotted this character in the “Peppa goes to London” book yesterday! Great that she’s going to be a regular character

— Nic (@Shendlegirl) April 3, 2019

I could cry! My daughter loves peppa and has a neuromuscular disorder. This is a game changer. Thank you!!!!!!

— Amanda Julia (@lavieenrose1488) April 3, 2019

This is amazing ???? Thank you for being inclusive. It’s so awesome to see a wheelchair user in any show, but it’s definitely important for children to see disability so it becomes the norm. Also her chair looks like mine ????

— Kimberley ????♿ (@KimmieChan1995) April 7, 2019

“Peppa Pig” is one of the few TV shows for children that features a character with disabilities in a recurring role. Mandy Mouse joins the likes of Julia from “Sesame Street.” Julia is on the autism spectrum and “Sesame Street” recently expanded her storyline to include her family. Through Julia’s interactions with her family, friends and her environment, children learn about autism.

This is also not the first time “Peppa Pig” has been connected to disability. A social media post about a fake Harvard study claiming the show caused autism went viral in 2016. However, no such study was ever conducted. Despite the false study being “debunked,” it still pops up online, mostly recently in 2018.

You can catch episodes of “Peppa Pig” on Nick Jr. in the U.S. and Channel 5 in the U.K.

from The Mighty http://bit.ly/2ZtnwJM

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Yes, I Can Eat That: How to Deal With the Diabetes 'Food Police'

If you live with diabetes you’ve probably found yourself about to eat something delicious when you suddenly notice someone staring at you. Maybe it’s a friend, colleague, family member — or even someone you met five seconds ago — and they’ve suddenly become a member of the “food police” when they say the question we hate the most: “Can you eat that?”

No matter how well-meaning such a comment is, it’s still frustrating and annoying. And it’s actually one of my top five things you should never say to someone living with diabetes. Because, yes, we can eat that! Unless someone laced it with poison, of course.

So, what can we do about these nosy, tedious “food police?” I think you have two options: you can let it slide, or you can see it as an opportunity to turn an annoying question into an educational moment.

I believe most often those types of questions, comments, stares aren’t meant to disrespect us. Even if it can feel that way. I truly believe that most of the time the comments are rooted in a concern for our well-being but unfortunately wrapped in ignorance and a lack of social etiquette.

How I deal with the “food police”

My personal approach to handling the “food police” will depend largely on who that person is — because there’s a big difference in my reaction to a comment from my mother versus a new friend.

And I must admit that I don’t always handle it the best way. I am guilty of sometimes seeing it as food shaming. And then I might roll my eyes or snap back when someone comments on my food choices.

The more I prepare or anticipate a question or comment, the more likely I can respond in a more appropriate and friendly manner.

I’ve come up with three different answers that each call for different levels of conversation. Depending on who you’re speaking to, you may or may not feel like going into a lot of detail on how and why you’re choosing to eat something despite having diabetes.

Let’s take a look…

Answer 1: Yes! I can eat that.

This is the “I don’t have time for a long explanation” answer. It’s the answer I use when I don’t feel like talking about diabetes or when I want to shut down a conversation with someone who should know better (…Aunt Becky, we’ve discussed this a thousand times before). Or if it’s someone I barely know, who isn’t actually concerned about my health and just likes being a know-it-all.

I think it’s a missed opportunity to stop there, but sometimes it’s just too exhausting to give any further explanation. A short follow-up might just be, “Actually, there’s nothing I can’t eat with diabetes.”

Answer 2: That’s a common misconception.

This is probably the answer I use most often. It’s the “Let me teach you about diabetes answer,” and it will immediately be followed by a short lecture on why people living with diabetes can eat as they please.

Given the lecture component, it does require that I have at least five minutes to explain more about diabetes, and the different ways people living with diabetes can manage their blood sugar levels.

My goal is always that people walk away from the conversation with a better understanding of what diabetes is, the different types of diabetes, and the different approaches to diabetes management. What I always hope to achieve is to kill off at least one or two misconceptions about diabetes.

Answer 3: What makes you say that?

This is the answer I would save for new friends or people I really care about. My goal here will be to have a deeper conversation about diabetes. I’ve found that most people have several deeply rooted misconceptions about diabetes and opening up with a question such as “What makes you say that?” can quickly set the conversation on the right course.

Often misconceptions are based on what people read in the media, like: eating too much sugar causes diabetes, people living with diabetes are allergic to sugar, they all need to follow a diabetic diet, you just need to take a shot or a pill, people living with diabetes lose their legs and die early, etc.  

I’ve found that when people who care about you ask “Can you eat that?” it’s often because they worry that if you do eat it, one of those misconceptions will come true about you — someone they love. Having a deeper conversation can often ease their concern and prevent the person from continuing their tenure as the “food police.”

Ultimately you have to develop your own strategies for dealing with the “food police.” But I do think it’s important to speak up if you feel that people in your life are overstepping your boundaries or meddling in things they shouldn’t. At the end of the day, it is our job as people with diabetes to educate others about real life with diabetes. We can’t expect them to know about a disease they don’t live with. Just think about it: if you didn’t live with it, would you know as much as you do?

from The Mighty http://bit.ly/2US6l5L

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14 Ways to Describe What a Subluxation Feels Like

Describing what a symptom feels like to someone who hasn’t experienced it can be a tricky task. This includes trying to explain what it feels like to have joints that partially dislocate on a regular basis, also known as subluxation. Even though people might understand dislocations, how do you explain subluxations?

According to Svetlana Blitshteyn, M.D., director and founder of Dysautonomia Clinic and Amherst Neurology, a subluxation is “a partial dislocation where the two bones in a joint are still partially in contact with each other.” They can occur when you’re doing an everyday activity, like carrying a basket of groceries, or doing something more strenuous. Subluxations are different than dislocations, where both of the bones in your joints are “completely separated from each other.”

Subluxations can occur for many reasons, but it’s especially common if you live with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS), “a group of disorders, many of which are hereditary, that affect connective tissue supporting the skin, bones, blood vessels and many other organs and tissues,” Dr. Blitshteyn told The Mighty. EDS can cause a wide range of symptoms almost anywhere in your body, from minor joint issues to life-threatening heart problems.

There are currently 13 different types of EDS, which are usually identified by specific mutations or changes in your genes that regulate the structural protein collagen in your body. All types of EDS are considered rare, though experts believe the hypermobile type is more common than originally believed — at least 1 out of every 5,000 people have hypermobile EDS (hEDS). If you have hEDS, Blitshteyn said you have a much higher chance of also experiencing subluxations, which are caused by issues with the collagen or connective tissue that would normally hold your joints in place.

Though Blitshteyn emphasized both subluxations and dislocations “are not dangerous even though these may be painful and bothersome,” they can cause short- and long-term issues. Blitshteyn added:

Both subluxation and dislocation can cause pain and mobility issues, which may be treated with non-steroidal anti-inflammatory medications, temporary immobilization, braces and physical therapy. Long-term complications include arthritis and early-onset arthritis, which is common among patients with hypermobile EDS.

Knowing what subluxations are still doesn’t capture what they feel like for those who have never experienced it. In order to learn more about what subluxations really feel like, we asked The Mighty’s EDS community how they would describe it.

Here’s what those living with EDS had to say:

1. “My body has a mind of its own.”

“When I’m walking and my leg bone(s) subluxes from the hip(s) it feels like I’ve stopped walking but my legs decided to keep going. I typically fall down because of this happening. I’m waiting for my braces for my legs so I’m a bit more stable and hopefully won’t fall. It feels different for each joint that it happens to. I’d have to say for me the worst has been my ribs because it happens pretty much every night in bed while trying to sleep and it’s very painful long after.” – Aimée R.

“Me: Let me walk over there. Sublux of knee/hip/ankle and/or toe(s): Not today, dear. I got plans. Me: Lemme see this jar of marmalade, mmm. Subluxation of thumb/finger(s): You can eat that later when someone comes over. Me: Let me get up and go to work. Subluxation of whatever joint: Lololol.” – Janet M.

2. “There’s a loss of stability.”

“Like an instant loss of stability. Something is moving in a way that it’s not supposed to; it doesn’t feel right, stable or very flexible. The only way to relieve that sensation is to put your bone back in its joint, which isn’t always easy. Depending on the joint, there can be intense pain. Especially when my floating ribs sublux, that can feel like someone is slowly stabbing me. My hips on the other hand mostly feel wrong and rarely hurt. I just have to quickly stop moving and pop that back into place before it fully slips out and dislocates.” – Jessica L.

3. “It’s like a headache, but in my joints.”

“It truly is hard to explain but here’s my best shot. Subluxation is like having a headache, just in your joints, and 10 times worse, and ibuprofen can’t help. When my hip subluxes, it feels like there is another bone in my hip, pushing it out of place. Sometimes, rarely, I can just ‘pop’ it back but normally I just have to sit, wait, and hope that it resolves itself.” – Sean F.

4. “There’s painful popping.”

“You know when you feel like you need to crack your neck or knuckles? It feels like that, but the normal movement doesn’t relieve the sensation. It’s just out and won’t pop back. Then, on top of that, imagine that the nerves branching out from that spot are now on fire and someone is tracing over them with a sharp blade. That’s what subluxation usually feels like to me, as it usually results in pinched nerves as well.” – Alexandria P.

“When something subluxes, it feel like when you accidentally pop a joint very uncomfortably and painfully (like when you crack your knuckles or neck too hard) but the pain and discomfort stay for far too long until the subluxation is fixed.” – Elyse B.

5. “My puzzle pieces don’t quite go where they’re supposed to anymore.”

“A sublux depending on what bone it is either feels like something is slightly out of place. Or I describe it to my friends like trying to fight a puzzle piece in but it’s turned the wrong way so you have to turn it till it fits just right. While a dislocation feels like I’m being ripped about at the seams.” – Unity M.

“Like a square peg in a round hole. If you shove it and wiggle a bit, [it] may fit but, it doesn’t sit right.” – Heather J.

“My sister asked this same question. I handed her 2 rocks and a bouncy ball. I then wrapped the two rocks around the ball with plastic wrap so she was able to see and then put rubber bands around such. I had her move them and told her when the ball popped out that was a sunblock because it popped right back in. But she said it didn’t feel right I told her it never does.” – Shelby S.

6. “Something doesn’t feel right.”

“It’s so hard to explain but you can just feel that something isn’t sitting right. And the longer it is subluxed the more your body tries to compensate. Then you end up with all kinds of strained muscles, pinched nerves, and even other subluxations/dislocations.” – Sandi D.

“It feels like something is ‘off.’ There is heat in the joint sometimes; it gets red and has a tingling feeling. The area also starts to hurt the longer it is subluxed. Once you realize what it is and how to fix it, you can start rolling that part of your body to put it back. Sometimes it pops and other times it just slides back in place. I feel immediate relief once it’s fixed.” – Lyndsie H.

“Something just doesn’t feel right. It feels like your joint is just wrong, and like your joints aren’t as easy to bend or move as they should be. Sometimes nerves end up getting pinched, which feels like I’d imagine being shocked by a cattle prod feels like.” – Rachel O.

7. “There’s the squish, but then there’s the pain.”

“With the tibia of the knee, it’s like suddenly stepping down on a large squishy pad while having a sharp jab of pain. The squish feeling continues while walking feels awkward while the tibia is out. When it goes back in the kathump feeling happens, then it’s easier to walk straight which helps the whole body feel more balanced and doing everything is easier.” – Julie D.

“Feels like OMG The Pain! the first few times, then you just get used to it and learn to pop them back in while going about the day, shaking off the pins n needles and cringing pains.” – Angie K.

8. “I’m made of loose strings.”

“It’s like being an old fashioned doll with loose strings, so our limbs flop around on us.” – Debra R.

“It feels like being one of those old string or ball jointed dolls that an overly aggressive two-year-old got a hold of so now nothing stays where it should.” – Kayla B.

9. “It’s completely overwhelming.”

“It feels like your body is held together with matchsticks and bubblegum, and you’re trying to carry a 300 lb gorilla.” – ShayLee W.

“When my shoulder subluxes, it feels like a small child has jumped onto my arm and is just hanging on, trying to pull it from its socket.” – Kathryn M.

10. “Something is pulling away from my body.”

“It feels like my joint is an old, worn out suction cup that is being pulled away from the rest of my body. It pulls at everything nearby, knotting up my muscles. It makes the limb feel heavy like I’ve got weights on one side of my body or the other. Sometimes it goes out with a sharp stabbing feeling, other times it slides out with a dull, progressing ache.” – Antonia D.

“Like a hot spoon shoved between the joint prying your bones apart.” – Snow B.

11. “There’s a sound that comes with it.”

“It feels like opening a shampoo bottle. That ‘click’ noise from the cap unlocking. But associate that feeling of the bottle opening and the noise with pain.” – Kourtney K.

“I do not feel it unless it is chronic… It just feels like ‘crack, crack crack’ with bones twisting around.” – Jess M.

12. “My joints just stop working.”

“When my hip or knee subluxes, it feels like the joint just stops working. I stumble and scream because it feels like the joint has just ripped right out of place. I can’t put weight on it for a bit and it’s sore and burns for a while after.” – Carmen C.

13. “That’s not supposed to be there.”

“For me, I feel a stretching sensation then a sudden snap of pain as the joint moves into an unnatural position. At this point, it feels extremely unstable. The muscles around the joint go into what I call super flexion mode. They are working hard holding the joint to keep it from dislocating. Depending on where the subluxation is, there may be nerve pain involved that can radiate or cause sharp shooting pains to other areas of the body along a nerve track. After hours of hard work the muscles go into spasm from the overwork and joint pain is amplified by muscle pain and spasm.” – Kate M.

“It feels like all your ribs are overlapping each other.” – Angie S.

14. “It just depends.”

“It depends on what you sublux. A shoulder feels like your arm is being pulled off your body and the skin is the only thing holding it on. An ankle feels like an intense Charlie horse. A rib out gives me a sharp pain with every breath and makes it hard to feel like I’m breathing deeply enough. A jaw feels like my teeth are misaligned and it makes my ear hurt.” – Kylee P.

“Depends which joint. My hips, fingers, jaw and wrists just feel sort of twisted and it’s annoying, like a Rubix cube that’s only been halfway turned. For my shoulders and knees. It’s like a tearing sensation and easier to describe to women as I find it’s like have really bad period pains but in your joints.” – Carly D.

“They’re different for me. Sometimes it feels like discomfort like you need to ‘pop’ whichever joint it is, similar to feeling like you need to pop your knuckles. The sensation then becomes increasingly uncomfortable and painful, until I manage to pop it back into place. There is always a loud clunk/crunch and feeling of immediate relief when I do. Sometimes, it just feels like my joints are too lax, and I feel the joint slipping further and further until it’s subluxed and I’m in excruciating pain. These ones usually start with a very relaxed and panicked ‘slipping’ feeling, and then ends feeling like a trapped nerve.” – Christina G.

If you experience subluxations, talk to your doctor about what you can do to reduce your symptoms. Your doctor may recommend avoiding strenuous activity that’s hard on the joints, like running on pavement, suggesting instead gentle, graded exercise (and stretching) as it can help strengthen your joints. Braces and compression clothing can help stabilize your joints as well. Share your experience with subluxations with a community that cares by joining The Mighty’s Ehlers-Danlos community.

To learn more about living with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, check out the following stories:

23 Photos of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Symptoms Others Don’t See

When the Ability to Control My Day Slips Through My Subluxated Fingers

17 Myths About Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome That Make It Even Harder to Live With

22 ‘Habits’ of People With Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome

What I Wish You Knew: The Side of EDS No One Sees

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