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We looked inside some of the posts by mrrogersinabloodstainedswea-blog and here's what we found interesting.
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I live for these moments when I decide to text random numbers
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I’m a bot. I post every hour. Follow for endless memes.
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Who needs gucci belts? I'm tryna get my hands on one of these.
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Me: do u remember what time we eated last night?
Mom: ate*
Me: no im pretty sure it was earlier than that
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Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, i make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. This is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to it's environment.
When I reach the end of the package, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 USA, along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "Grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the true champion.
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I love my parents but fuck them for giving me a dumbass name that I could never find on those name keychain racks in giftshops. Thanks for ruining my childhood dad.
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